The Long And Short Of It

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

With a solid smack to her alarm clock, Sergeant Nocturnal Pike greeted the new day.

She was not a morning pony. No matter how late that "morning” may be.

Maybe it was genetic? Or maybe Celestia was a tribalist, making the sun shine harder on the thestral race!

Either way, Pike would likely never know.

'I hate mornings.'

Though, she had to admit, she didn’t mind the morning she’d woken up snuggled against Anon!

Forcing her eyes open against the light, she remembered one of the hard truths of life: As much fun as lying down and cursing the sun was, no pony ever got back to work by being a lout. So in a unique feat of athletic prowess (‘thank you, special talent’), she deftly—and literally—rolled out of bed, sticking a perfect ten point landing.

Now that she was out of bed, she could begin her routine for actually waking up, starting with a nice, long shower. After a brisk trot to the bathroom, Pike wasted no time in getting her morning underway. With a few scrubs in those hard to reach places, a little touch up to her fangs to keep them at maximum sharpness, and of course, a bit of marescaping to give her tuft the perfect combination of shape and fluff, her morning routine was complete.

'Well... not quite.'

No morning would be complete if she didn’t admire herself in the mirror for at least a little bit.

‘Ooooooh yeah.’

‘Spread those wings!’

‘Flex those forelegs!’

‘This is the body that gets the stallions droppin!’

‘This is the body that gets work done!’

‘This is the body that spent all night snuggled deep in Anon’s big strong sexy forelegs!’

Her face turned a little red at that last thought, and along with that blush came today’s worries. Whatever Pike did, she COULD NOT let her squadmates know that’d happened. She'd almost hoped they wouldn't even ask, but it was a foregone conclusion that they would assail her with the inevitable battery of questions.

“So, did you do your signature move on him?”

“How fast did you get him to cum?”

“You even bother getting his address?”

And so forth. Sure, she could admit that they’d just cuddled and hung out, but that would be an unacceptable blow to her reputation! Macho mares bang stallions and call it a night! They don’t get... emotionally invested!

She’d just have to improvise. Pike didn’t have any intentions to lie per se... She’d just... stretch the truth a tad. However, that meant she had to figure out what to actually say.

Which she’d have plenty of time to do on a nice, leisurely walk to the barracks. Sure she could just fly and get there way faster, but for once, she wanted to take advantage of her stubby little legs. As she knew all too well, stubby legs mean a long walk. But, in this case, a long walk meant a long time to think! And a long time to think meant she’d be more likely to have a story ready that the mares would buy!

‘YES!’

So with what was surely a 100% foal-proof plan, Pike set off for work.

Astral Blade was sitting around, waiting for her best sis (and boss) Nocturnal Pike to get here. She wasn’t actually late, Astral was just used to her being there early. So, as far as she was concerned, Pike was pretty bucking late. And bouncing a ball off the wall was getting really boring.

Just: toss, boing, catch, repeat.

The thestral mare was sure if Pike was there, she’d tell Astral that she was “using the time perfectly to hone her skills!” And seeing as her combat role and special talent were in throwing small projectiles with pinpoint accuracy, Pike technically wouldn't be wrong.

But that was the difference between her and the sergeant; Pike could do the same thing over and over for hours.

But Astral?

She just got so Luna-damned bored.

After her most recent catch, she decided she’d well and truly had enough of this, and allowed the ball to rest in the claw of her wing. That left her with nothing to focus on however, so her eyes began to desperately wander the room, hoping for something to occupy her time and attention.

Hey, over there in the corner! It’s the Rookie! And she was...

‘Is she praying?’

Sure enough, the rookie was on her knees, head bowed, and, assuming Astral hadn’t lost her skills at reading lips, was mouthing something along the lines of “Oh sweet merciful Luna, please let Sergeant Pike have changed her mind about my assignment.”

‘Ha! Ahhhhh mare.’ Astral remembered when she first got the Blue shift. It honestly wasn’t as bad as everypony made it seem!

But, it was still pretty bad.

Before she could ruminate on that further however, the sound of an opening door signaled her much needed reprieve from monotony.

‘There she is.’

Nocturnal Pike made her belated entrance, which meant it was time, of course, for their customary greeting! A time honored tradition, wherein Astral spiked her ball right at the sergeant as she walked in.

‘Ready…’

‘Aim…’

‘Fire!’

Thwok

“Augh! Luna’s teets!”

Right in the snoot! How... unexpected.

Sure, technically that’s what she’d been trying to do, but Astral never really expected to actually land a hit! Mare, Pike must have been deep in thought about something; she’d never been able to catch her off guard like that.

“Haha, gotcha!”

”Stars above, did you have to go for the muzzle, Astral?”

“Of course! If I don’t keep you on your hooftips, who will?” She glibly retorted, before cantering over and giving the short mare a slap on the back. ”Now, what’s on your mind?”

”What?”

“Oh come on Pike, you know I never would have been able to nail you like that if you weren’t supremely distracted.” Astral gave her a second to roll her eyes and grudgingly acquiesce. “Don’t tell me you’re still thinking about that stallion from the bar?”

The scrunching of her face was all the confirmation Astral needed. “He seemed pretty into it when you left last night. What, did you get a case of whiskey-cunt at the last minute?”

Nocturnal Pike raised an eyebrow. “Pfffft, don’t be an idiot. Of course not.”

‘Sheesh Astral, you’re really putting me through the wringer, here.’

”Come on Pike, it’s nothing to be ashamed of! The amount of drinks you pounded? Any mare would have a tough time getting it flowin’ after that.”

‘Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be.’

A devilish smile crossed Pike’s face. “Gee Astral, you sure seem interested in my cunt all of the sudden. Discover something about yourself while I was away, you dyke?”

”Ha! You wish, you fruitbat! Everypony knows all those stallions you bed are just for show!”

The two of them shared a hearty laugh at that; the kind of laugh only best friends could.

‘Score! Questions dodged!’

Pike returned Astral’s previous slap on the back. It was more like a slap on the side though, since her forelegs didn’t reach that far. “Alright, quit your lollygaggin,’ fall-in’s in a few minutes. Start gathering the others, and make sure the rookie hasn’t started communing with the stars back there.”

Pike cast her attention back to said Rookie. She’d originally seen the prostrated mare when she walked in. She was also pretty sure she saw her foaming a little at the mouth.

'Jeez, she’s really stressed out about this.’

Pike felt kind of bad. But not bad enough to change the patrols she was about to give her.

Turning her attention back to her number two, Astral gave a mock salute and grinned. ”Aye aye, ma’am.”

It was about thirty minutes later. Fall-in had passed without incident, and before long, things fell into routine. Specifically, a training routine, and Nocturnal Pike’s squad was out in the yard, and workin’ hard!

Technically, the Sergeant should’ve been distributing patrol schedules right then, but Stable Sepulcher needed some extra time to get her day squads’ assignments sorted. Pike figured she’d give it to her, seeing as both she AND one of her squad-mares had foals on the way. Pike wouldn’t envy scheduling around one maternity leave, much less one plus her own! And since the evening transition shift is all about “cooperation and camaraderie between the day guard and night guard,” yadda yadda yadda… Well, Pike figured she’d throw her a proverbial bone and let her have the extra time.

But all that was for later. Right now, all that Pike and her squad would be focusing on is honing their bodies into the razor sharp blades they should be! So there the eleven of them were, going about their various exercises in the night guard training yard. Sure, Pike could have spent the time going around individually micromanaging all of their workouts, but she generally trusted them to do what they needed to do, and as such left them to it. The Night Guard always played fast and loose with regulations, and while those uptight parade fillies who called themselves "the Day Guard" always gave them guff for it, there was no arguing with the results: Pike's unit ran like a well-oiled machine.

Her plan was to spend the evening wailing on a training dummy, as she often did.

Roll between the legs, kick off into the air, dive onto their back, and strike between the shoulders! It’s a move she’d been working on for a while. In theory, it would be a great technique for taking down opponents sufficiently larger than herself (in fact, it would work perfectly on somepony Anon-sized). The basic idea was to catch them off guard with the roll, and then strike their back before they could create any sort of defense against the aerial assault. She was landing it pretty consistently, but not consistently enough that she was willing to try it out in a sparring session, or, Luna forbid, a real life attack on the castle.

So she stood in the training fields, drilling it into muscle memory.

Roll, jump, dive, strike.

Roll, jump, dive, strike.

‘Ha! Take that! I told ‘em I’m not a midget! I’m a whole two inches taller than a midget!’

Roll, jump, dive, strike!

‘POW! That’ll teach ‘er to call me a marelet!!’

Roll, jump, dive, strike!

‘I’m not a weak little filly just cuz I like being snuggled into Anon! I’m NOT!’

Roll, jump, dive, strike!

“PIKE!”

The short thestral skidded to a stop halfway through a roll. ”What, Astral!? Can’t you see I’m...”

Having her concentration broken allowed Pike to finally notice the sun was about to pass under the horizon. And that she and Astral were the only ponies still in the yard. Which could only mean that several hours had already passed.

“Luna’s teats, Pike, I’ve been calling your name for five minutes.” She pointed a hoof towards the entrance to the mess hall. ”Lunch bell.”

Technically, it was the dinner bell, but to the evening shifters, it was the de-facto lunch bell.

“Really? Thanks, phew, definitely got a little too in the zone there.”

Astral grinned. ”That’s what I’m here for.”

Nocturnal Pike and the rest of her mares had finally sat down for a “fine” meal. Some tripe that the mess sergeant was trying to pass off as moth hash, with some over-steamed greens, and a bit of mango on the side.

And filly, was she ever thanking the stars above for that bit of mango.

Despite the sub-par meal, the mares seemed to be in good spirits. Everypony was crammed into one table and telling tales of what shenanigans they got up to in their time off.

“So I just got done telling my coltfriend that he shouldn’t have to pay, when this shaved head, neon stallion runs up to our table and starts screaming at me how, and I quote, ‘You’re just a pawn of the matriarchy! You bigot! He can pay as much as he wants to!’ And my coltfriend, bless his heart, just says, ‘No, it’s alright. She can pay.’ Ha! I thought that stallion’s head was going to explode!”

”That’s insane.”

”Bucking stallionists, unbelievable.”

A certain hooded squadmare of theirs spoke up. “Hey, speaking of neon stallions...”

‘Arg!’

And there Pike was hoping everyone would forget. As much as she wanted to glare daggers at the mare who brought it up, she resisted.

‘Buck you, Cloak N. Dagger!’

Said mare continued on. “I’m surprised you haven’t regaled us with a tale of your night after you left the bar, Sarge.”

Trying valiantly not to look as sheepish as she felt, Pike put on her best “I am indifferent” face, and shrugged. “Not much to tell.”

Somepony Pike wasn’t looking at, but she was pretty sure it was Night Sky, shouted from the back end of the table, ”that’s never stopped you before!”

And while the table started laughing, Pike’s gears were busy turning. “Go buck yourself, Sky!”

Sky didn’t let up, leaning in from across the table. “Come on Pike, did you at least do your signature move on him?”

Oh, she’d prepared for that one! “Of course, I stuck the landing and he was out as soon as we hit the sheets!”

Which technically wasn’t untrue! Though she had fallen asleep shortly after hitting the sheets. Nestled in his forelegs.

As expected, this was enough cause for cheers and laughter. “Haha! Alright Pike!”

“On top of ‘em as always!”

“You even bother to remember his address?”

She’d prepared that one, too! Sliding into the most nonchalant pose she could, Pike responded with as much indifference as ponily possible. “Well, he certainly made sure I had it!”

As the table erupted into another round of chortling congratulations, she felt a sense of pride.

‘Crisis averted, image preserved!’

But as she sat in her seat feeling smug, she failed to notice the deep look of suspicion Astral Blade had affixed to her, before she'd quickly hidden it away.

As the laughing died down, the table lapsed into a brief silence. One which ended as soon as some other mare decided to take her chance to launch into a story about an awkward encounter she had with a Cadenzian missionary.

Pike took the opportunity to return to her meal.

‘Mmmmmm mmm.’

‘Gotta love mango.’

Once the team had finished consuming the edible parts of their meals, Nocturnal Pike and her squad soon departed the mess. They’d all been directed to go to the conference room where—

Pike felt herself being hoisted into the air.

‘HEY WHAT THE BUCK!’

‘WHO’S THE DEAD PONY THAT HAS THE GALL TO MAREHANDLE ME!?’

In her blinding rage, Pike didn’t even notice she was being pulled down a hallway and into a side room. After all, ‘WHO WOULD POSSIBLY HAVE THE AUDACITY TO—’

”Alright Pike, calm down.”

‘ASTRAL BLADE!?’

“ASTRAL!? You father-bucking bastard! You know how much I hate being marehandled!”

“You bet I do. I also know when you’re dodging questions, Pike.”

‘Uh oh.’

Her rage evaporated, to be replaced with cold dread. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Astral affixed Pike in her sternest, steeliest gaze. ”Pike, I’ve known you since basic. And I know when you don't want to answer something, you just whip out some horseapples. And those were some grade-A horseapples."

‘Buck, she’s right and she knows it.’

Pike didn’t say anything, but Astral knew her well enough to recognize her silence as acquiescence. “And in all of the time that I've known you, I've NEVER seen you shy away from bragging about bucking some colt. And to top it all off something's clearly been bothering you all day. So quit being a little bastard and tell me what's going on."

‘Oh no.’

‘This is horrible.’

‘This is it.’

‘This is the night Astral Blade’s respect for me dies!’

“I-its…” Pike sighed wearily, and turned her eyes to the floor. “Alright, I admit it. I didn't buck him. We just hung out at my place... and snuggled.. and I-I-I-I... I have another date with him tomorrow.”

‘Oh Luna this is so embarrassing!’

She immediately threw her head into her hooves.

Astral’s voice was heavy with disbelief. ”So you... what, just had a good, non-sexual time with a stallion? That’s it?”

‘Oh stars above!’

“Yes of course that’s it!”

Pike felt a lump in her chest. She knew what was coming. This was the part where Astral would call her a worthless excuse of a mare, and—

“Pike, that’s great!”

A slap right on the back broke her out of the panic spiral.

‘What.’

“What.”

“I mean, here I was starting to think you’d subsist off one night stands forever! Mare, I’m really happy for you!”

‘WHAT.’

Astral put a reassuring hoof onto the shorter mare’s shoulder. “Come on Pike, I know your shtick is to be the ‘macho mare’ but no pony’s going to think less of you for finding a stallion you really like and trying to woo him! Especially if he's so single he's hanging out at a bar. I mean, that's a one way ticket to being an alpha!"

‘Oh! Damn right I'm going to be his alpha!’

“Of-of course!”

”Tartarus, the only reason I’d start to think less of you for something like that was if the stallion you started seeing was willing to buck after just one night in a bar.”

Pike... well, she couldn’t believe it; she'd had nothing to worry about this whole time.

“I mean, dating a slut? I’d be worried you lost your mind!”

Pike smiled gratefully. “Thanks, Astral.”

She gave Pike a beaming grin. “Don’t mention it.”

The sergeant smiled contentedly and gave a little chuckle. Luna’s teats, did Anon being such a janefilly turn her into a stallion? She couldn’t believe she let herself get so worked up over nothi—

“Besides, you just hung out and snuggled. It’s not like you spent the night as his little spoon or something like that.” Through sheer force of will, Pike kept her smile from falling off her face. “Could you imagine! Hahaha! You being the little spoon? Oh mare, now that would be actually embarrassing.”

“Haha, yeah. T-totally humiliating!”

‘Come on, poker face, don’t fail me now.’

”Listen, I understand if you don’t want the squad knowing about this. Don’t want to compromise your whole ‘mare’s mare’ image by having a coltfriend, right? I get it, so don’t worry. I’ll keep it on the DL.”

It was a relief to know that at least she had Astral's support.

Kind of.

“Thanks, you’re doing me a huge favor, Astral.”

”Hey, what are sisters for?”

Pike let out a sigh of (semi)relief. ”Alright, enough of this colty gossip. We need to get going. Sepulcher’s probably already in the conference room and wondering where in Tartarus I am.”

Astral laughed, ”Haha, alright, but before we go, does this stallion of yours have a name?”

As Pike thought back to him, she couldn’t help but feel the genuineness return to her smile.

“Anonymous.”