The Long And Short Of It

Meanwhile, across town…

The anticipation was going to kill Astral Blade. This would be the first time she saw Pike since last night, and her mind was alight with questions. That went for most of the unit too, she reckoned. Everypony was just awkwardly shuffling around, waiting for their Sergeant to step in and hoof out assignments. Astral imagined they had the same questions as she did, although no pony was voicing them. They weren’t a bunch of gossiping cocks after all; idle speculation wouldn’t get them anywhere. However, there was one topic Astral would’ve been more than happy to speculate on...

“Hey, Astral, have you seen Cloak anywhere?”

‘Speak of Tirek.’

There was Night Sky, there to start the exact line of conversation Astral had been hoping to. Lowering her voice so the other mares couldn’t hear, Astral answered with a conspirorial, “No, and I’m starting to think she played hooky today.”

Night rolled her eyes. “A Nightstalker? Playing hooky? Don’t be absurd.”

Astral slyly elbowed her. “Well, if she’s not out cowering in fear of her impending court-martialing, where is she?”

‘Night rolled her eyes AGAIN! This must be a new personal record for me!’

“We can’t court-martial her for that! Inappropriate as it was, she didn’t break any laws.” Astral groaned, but Night put a hoof on her withers to stop her. “However, that hardly means we lack the means for official recourse. Regardless we should wait for Sergeant—”

The sound of the doors being pushed open instantly made the room fall silent. All eyes were on the entrance as in trotted Stable Sepulchre, sergeant of the day. With bated breath, everypony waited for who should be following behind her...

...only for nopony to be there at all, the doors falling shut behind Sepulchre. Astral and Night shared a silent look, concern growing between the both of them.

Sepulchre did nothing to address this, of course. “Troops!” she unnecessarily shouted over the room. “There’s been a change of plans for today. Your updated assignments are posted on the door behind me. Any questions you have, report them to me. Understood?”

“Ma’am. Yes, ma’am!” Astral echoed back with the room.

“Excellent. Dismissed!”

Only then did Astral let herself take a step back in shock.

‘New postings? Pike was supposed to run drills today! Did she change the schedule?’

‘No way, she hates it when ponies make changes at the last minute.’

‘But then again, who else would?’

Night, clearly eager for answers too, made a beeline towards Sepulchre. Her determined canter cut through the crowd like butter, leaving Astral the perfect path to follow behind.

As she moved among the gathered mares, Astral could already hear some of them expressing quiet concern about this abnormal turn of events. She was right there with them. Before, she hadn’t been particularly worried about Pike. Now however...

Astral’s mind flashed back to Pike’s panic stricken face from the night before.

Astral had never seen her like that, not even when the last Sergeant bucked up and left the two of them stranded in the middle of the Everfree Forest. Up until now, Astral had pegged it on Pike just being drunk off her flanks, but the sinking feeling in her gut said that may have just been wishful thinking.

Sepulchre spotted their approach. “Ah. Corporal, Specialist, just the two mares I’d wanted to speak to.” The coat on the back of Astral’s neck stood straight up.

‘I do NOT like this. Not one bit.’

Night spoke up before Astral had even thought up a reply. “Stable, what’s going on here?”

Having worked with Sepulchre for many years, Astral knew she was not the kind of mare who looked away when delivering bad news. Instead, she had a very peculiar way of making intense eye contact. Eye contact she was now making with Night.

“We should talk outside.”

Nocturnal Pike couldn’t believe herself. She’d just done something she’d hated. Something she’d sworn she’d never do. Something that ruined months upon months of perfect planning! She’d changed the guard schedule: the MORNING OF! Pike would have KILLED Sepulchre, or even Blueblood, for doing that. Yet the blame for this blunder solely rested on herself, and for the fact she was hiding away in her office.

“Like a coward,” her Mother’s voice echoed inside Pike’s head.

For the first time in a long time, she had no retort for that inner voice.

‘She’s right: I am a coward.’ She’d spent all morning dodging Anon’s questions only to start dodging her responsibilities the moment she’d set hoof in the castle.

‘Is this going to be my life from now on? Running from place to place, never interacting with anypony lest you be forced to confront your issues?’

Of course not, she couldn’t live like that. Nopony can!

The obvious and only real solution was staring her right in the face. It’s time to come clean. If Nocturnal Pike looked back on every single value she was raised on, every value she’d tried to exemplify for her whole life, she could see there was only one conclusion.

‘I am no mare.’

And just like that, a great weight fell upon her. A pathetic mewl escaped Pike’s lips as the implications of her admission hit her at mach speed.

‘Luna defend me. If this is how an internal admission feels, how will it feel to admit this to Anon? To Cut? To Astral? To mom!?’

The thought of every new confrontation physically beats her down, bending Pike’s posture until her head rests in her hooves. But there’s no other way to square it: even now, at this very moment, her conclusion was being actively validated. Mares are meant to be stoic; unshakable. And there she was, fraught with anxiety and on the verge of tears.

“You’re pathetic,” her mom’s voice rang in her ears.

What’s worse was even Pike’s happy thoughts were turning against her. Trying to stave off despair, she desperately grabbed at any happier time she could reach for. But all her mind’s eye could find are images of Anon doting on her. Sitting in the tub as he treated her to a spa day. Blushing as he told her how cute she looked in one of Silken’s outfits… Pike could feel herself desperately wanting to take comfort in these things. Remembering how they made her feel so warm, so loved.

That just made it all so much worse.

‘Stars, what is WRONG with me?’

Dimly Pike realized she’d long since started spiraling, and her training swiftly kicked in.

‘Deep breaths, focus on your breathing and on anything else.’

Pike’s eyes darted around the office, looking for something to center herself on. Some idea, some memory, anything. And there was plenty to focus on: her office was filled with trinkets and awards from her time in the guard. Medals she’d won, framed commendations her unit had gotten, her diploma… Countless things to remind Pike of her storied and successful career. But even those memories weren’t safe. After only a brief respite, her mother’s voice boomed in her head once more. “A career only possible thanks to what I taught you!”

“You led by embodying those principles! Your mares excelled because you passed those values onto them!” Pike wanted to shout, to scream at her to shut up, but years of discipline won out and she kept the outburst down. Which ended up working in her favor, as a brief moment of clarity reminded her of something important:

She wasn’t actually arguing with her mom.

This was all in Pike’s head: some weird personification of her anxieties, not an actual pony. So what good would it do her to tell “mom” to shut up? Pike was the one asking the questions, here. And the question is: how can a brudder like her, practically a colt with teats, lead this unit?

*Knock knock*

It was only when Pike tasted blood that she realized she’d sunk her fangs into her bottom lip. Any relief she’d felt in the face of something concrete to focus on was washed away by a new wave of anxiety.

“Nocturnal, are you still in there?”

Pike had figured out who would be on the other side of that door long before they spoke. It was Sepulchre, undoubtedly keen to find out why she’d uncharacteristically upended the day. It would be so easy just to pretend she wasn’t there or to send her away…

‘But taking the easy route is what got me into this mess, isn’t it?’

‘Alright Pike, poker face. You were NOT in the middle of having a crisis, no ma’am.’

“Come in!”

Only just remembering the poke in her lip, Pike managed to wipe the blood away with a hoof right as the mare outside the door walked in. As usual, her face was fairly impassive, although Pike caught that the very edges of her mouth were ever so slightly downturned.

An expression of concern, she supposed.

Sepulchre was usually one to get right down to business, so Pike elected to sit quietly and let her start. She took longer than Pike would’ve liked, spending a few silent moments sizing her up from the other side of the desk.

The longer she waited, the more Pike’s anxieties threatened to flare up once more. Forcing her to dump ever more of her mental faculties into keeping her face straight.

‘Do not show a SINGLE sign of weakness.’

Which left Pike so hyper focused that she didn’t even notice the blood continuing to run from her lip until it reached her chin.

‘Too late to do anything about it now. Maybe if I just ignore it she won’t notice?’

‘Oh, who am I kidding?’

The mare’s eyes were already tracing Pike’s face, widening slightly as they settled upon her self-inflicted puncture wound. Which is what finally motivated her to speak. “Nocturnal I—” she cut herself off, clearing her throat and straightening her posture before continuing. “My subordinates have relayed to me some troubling rumors.”

Like the cork off a campaign bottle, Pike felt her anxiety explode.

‘Oh Luna, did word somehow get out already? Did somepony see the apron and spill the beans!?’

“And I must ask: is everything alright at home?”

Just as the fear threatened to spill over, something let her pump the brakes. Sepulchre’s question seemed to imply the problem was Pike’s relationship with Anon, not herself.

“What do you mean?”

For the first time Pike had ever seen, Stable Sepulchre looked nervous. “I’ll be blunt. Your coltfriend, Anonymous? Has he been... abusing you?”

It seemed that today’s emotional roller coaster was far from over. Pike really shouldn’t have been surprised, considering the way he covered for her last night, but the sincerity of the question still caught her off guard. Maybe it was the absurdity of the idea, or maybe she was just overly desperate for some levity, but in either case, Pike found herself laughing out loud.

Which of course did nothing to soothe the visibly perturbed Sepulchre, but Pike really couldn’t have cared less. “Nocturnal, this is serious.”

Pike made no attempt to even acknowledge her question, losing herself to the deep belly laugh. The very idea of Anon abusing her had Pike crying with laughter. He didn’t have an abusive bone in his body! He practically had a panic attack worrying about hurting her and Cut’s feelings, and HE’S the “abusive” one!? What a riot!

“Nocturnal!” Sepulchre came with a hair’s breadth of shouting.

Realizing she was coming dangerously close to actually pissing the mare off, Pike finally tried to get a hold of herself. “Ha! Ahhh, sorry Sepulchre it’s just... Anon’s not the problem here.”

She didn’t look like she believed Pike, which, she supposed, would be a good thing if he was abusing her. “Are you certain? I’ve heard some pretty dire things.”

Pike let out a breath that it felt like she’d been holding for ages. That laugh really gave her a second wind: she felt like she could focus again. Focus on something that wasn’t her own anxieties, anyway. “I’m sure, Stable. It’s on me, and my mom.”

Pike looked away from her for a moment, focusing instead on a framed picture of herself and her mother. It was the day Pike had graduated from officer’s school. The photo was just of the two of them, Pike dressed in her shiny new armor… She was so excited she’d wanted to jump for joy, but she knew Mom wanted her to stay stoic. To not outwardly show her emotions, like a true mare. You wouldn’t know it from the photo, but she’d said she’d never been prouder of her that day.

“I just... need some time to figure things out is all.”

When Pike turned back towards Sepulchre, she saw the mare’s face had returned to its natural, neutral position. “I see. I suppose if this is going to continue to impact the quality of your work, you intend to make use of your excess of your vacation days then?”

Pike’s breath caught in her throat. “My what?”

“You have the better part of two months after all,” she continues. “Especially after you covered for me when my filly was born.”

Pike suddenly found herself feeling like an absurdly massive moron.

‘How did I forget about those!?’

‘Oh who are you trying to fool, you know exactly how you forgot about those. You’re such a workaholic you haven’t taken a non-crown-mandated holiday in YEARS!’

A half-formed idea shot right to the surface of her mind, and Pike was desperate enough that she acted on it without a second thought. “Yes!” she exclaimed, trying not to sound like she was pulling this out of her flank. “As a matter of fact I’d like to take off from now until after Hearthswarming. Now as in, right now.”

Sepulchre looked genuinely taken aback. “Oh! Well, normally I’d insist we discuss coverages and run this by the staff sergeant first. But frankly, I foresee no issues with your schedules or your unit. I suppose you can head home and I’ll pass this on to Horseshoe.” She took one more worried glance at Pike’s bloodied lip. “Personal emergency and all that.”

Even now Pike could feel that malformed idea coming together into a “plan”, and that alone was enough to let her breathe a true sigh of relief. Some ponies might consider this running away from her problems here, but sometimes a tactical retreat is the best option.

“Thank you, Stable.”

And with that, Pike took wing.

Nocturnal Pike stood in front of the door to her apartment, trying to think of what she was going to say. It took awhile to get here, both literally and figuratively, she supposed. Literally, in this case, because she’d taken the long way home.

She’d undeniably needed it.

While Thestrals normally didn’t agree with the winter air, Pike found it did wonders to help her clear her head. And the raw distance itself gave her plenty of time to think. To chew on that half-formed idea of what to do with her sudden vacation until it became a real plan of attack.

And therein lay the figurative aspect. Because no matter how she saw this going, Pike knew there was only one way she could start. She needed to actually open up and talk to Anon and Cut about this. By trying to work this out on her own, all Pike had been doing was depriving herself of every support network she had. Which is what led to the waking nightmare she’d had in her office today. A mare may not be supposed to open up like this, but it’s what needed to be done. So with a deep breath, Pike placed her hoof on the knob and opened the door.

There was nopony in the main room, but she immediately noticed Anon’s discarded saddlebags lying by the couch. Which was very odd: he usually didn’t just toss them in a corner like that. What’s even stranger was that Anon rarely got home before Cut, but Pike didn’t see hide nor hair of her either. If they were in the bedroom Pike would at least hear something but—

‘Hold on, I DO hear something.’

“Oh God. It’s so much worse than it was in Junior High. How is it worse?” It was the muffled sound of Anon’s voice, which sounded like it was coming from the bathroom. And it sounded like he was in distress!

Pike picked up the pace, tearing her way through her humble home until she rounded the corner into the bathroom. There she found quite possibly the most miserable looking stallion she’d ever seen. “Sweet Luna, what happened!?”

He was seated in the tub, soaked from head to hoof in bathwater. Her assessment of his voice was clearly accurate. Even as the soothing sounds of brush on fur filled the room, Anon was shivering with revulsion. Furthermore, as he weakly looked toward her, Pike recognized the burdened expression of a pony who’d recently tossed their oats.

Seeing her come in, his pallid face lit up just a little, and he weakly reached toward her. “Pike... Pike come here...” his voice sounded as pathetic as he looked.

As he stretched out, a familiar tan face peeked out from behind him. “Oh, hey Pike! Uh, welcome home?”

Still hoping for some answers, and seeing as Anon was clearly a little out of it, Pike made for Cut’s side of the tub. In contrast to how lazy the motion seemed earlier, Anon’s hoof tracked her the whole way with laser accuracy. As Pike neared Cut, she made the mistake of coming within range, and that’s when he struck! Anon’s sopping wet hoof went right into Pike’s mane to start petting her head. She was a little annoyed by having the bath brought to her, but she let him have his moment. It’s not like it felt bad, mane full of bathwater notwithstanding.

Having closed the distance, Cut leaned down to whisper to her. “The medics didn’t give me many specifics, but apparently he had a BAD reaction to some bodyspray.” Cut’s eyes shifted between him and Pike. “He uh, doesn’t like talking about it. He threw up. A lot.”

‘Ah, that explains it.’

It’s like an inverse version of when Pike used her tuft to calm him down. But instead of leaving him smiley and giddy, he’s been left pallid and queasy. And more importantly, in no condition to have the serious conversation she’d wanted. Normally Pike would’ve been over the moon at that, the universe giving you an excuse to put off things once more. This time though? It sucked.

Moving his hoof off her head, Pike wiped the bathwater off her face. Letting out a sigh, she replied, “Ah, I see. I’ll go get some tea going. I know we’ve got something that should settle our little diva’s stomach.”

Pike heard Cut chuckle as she turned away, before making for the door. Pike figured that’d be the end of it. Until she realized her hooves weren’t touching the ground.

“Oh NO you don’t!” Anon, seemingly having found his second wind, magically lifted her into the air. Before she could even reflexively EEEE, he was dragging her into the tub with him.

“ANON!” she shouted. But it was too late: she’d splashed down. If she was wet before, she was absolutely soaked now. She couldn’t even properly thrash, because just as quickly, she found herself imprisoned by large, fuzzy green bars that locked her in a bear hug. Pike blushed more than a little as those bars pressed her against his underside with all his strength.

‘Guess he doesn’t want me to go.’

When he spoke, his voice wasn’t nearly as weak as it was before. Although, that could’ve been because when she was below him like this, she could feel his voice as much as hear it. “You’re not going anywhere! Me and Cut let you off the hook this morning, but not this time! You’re going to tell us what’s been bothering you, or I’m keeping you here all night.” To emphasize his point, he squeezed her just a little bit.

It was a symbolic gesture really: she knew she could get out of his grip if she wanted to. In fact, a part of her really did want to, in revenge for such blatant marehandling. But... even soaking wet, she couldn’t deny how nice it felt. Huddled under him like this, she felt so safe. Paradoxically, despite being the source of her troubles, she felt like all the world’s problems were a million miles away.

‘Guess this is a sign Pike, it’s now or never.’

“Okay... okay.”

So Pike told them everything. All the way from the very beginning, from that first night when Anonymous spooned her. Every fear, every second guess, she laid it all bare for the two of them. Much to her shame, she’d even started sobbing halfway through. Anon and Cut said there was nothing wrong with that of course, but Pike knew better. Sobbing like a filly into her coltfriend’s foreleg? Completely embarrassing, no matter what they say.

Despite that, by the end she felt great. Like a massive weight had been lifted from her shoulders. It all felt so clear now; she should have done this ages ago.

They were all still in the tub of course, the water having turned lukewarm some thirty minutes ago. But not once did anypony make a move to leave; Anon and Cut stayed with her the whole time. Cut even came around to the other side of her, to put Pike in a “hug sandwich” as she awkwardly called it. And that hug sandwich is where she’d stayed.

“God, Pike, I’m so sorry. How did I... why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Pike looked up and give him what passed for a deadpan look with her swollen puffy eyes. “Uh, right. Dumb question, you went over that already.” The schadenfreude of watching him trip over his own thoughts put a little smile on Pike’s face.

Cut of course was fairing no better. “Thank you for telling us. I-I,” she paused, wiping a small tear of her own out of her eye. “I don’t think I could have if I were you. I don’t think I’d be strong enough.”

‘This? Strong?’

Pike had to disagree with Cut there, but she appreciated the gesture. Before she could say anything though, Anon pressed himself into her even harder. “I can’t believe I’ve been putting you through this the whole time and I didn’t know. God I’m so, so sorry.”

‘Oh no, I know where this is going!’

That last thing Pike was going to stand for right now was her coltfriend beating himself up over this, no ma’am! “Anon, don’t.” the finality in her voice cuts him off. “These months have been the best I’ve had in years. You made me happy.” Reaching up a hoof, she ran it along his face. “So don’t you DARE do that thing where you work yourself into a tizzy over my feelings. It’s MY turn to be a little bastard this time, you hear me?”

At first he didn’t say anything, and she started to worry her little joke might have been too ill timed. But then a chuckle out of him, followed by a “snrrk” from Cut is all it took before the three of them broke out into familiar laughter.

With the mood finally lifted, Anon stated the obvious. “Guess we should get out of the tub, huh?”

The two of them finally let Pike go, and while she’d miss their embrace, they were right. It was time to get their flanks out of this water.

“Yeeeeah,” said Cut. Pike let the two of them go first, not wanting to get lost in a tangle of limbs. Anon was out first, and he of course started shaking himself off like a dog. Cut herself was only halfway out when she turned back to Pike. “So what are we going to do about your unit? And... well...”

“My sister,” is the part she couldn’t bring herself to say.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” Pike answered. “I’ve decided to step away from the unit for the time being, give myself some time to think.”

“Step away?” Anon asked with a hint of concern. “How so?”

The thestral nervously rubbed the back of her head. “I just took some vacation days! I only had... two months...”

Anon and Cut guffawed at her embarrassed expression. “Yeah, I bet you do, you little workaholic,” he laughed. “What are you even going to do with yourself until Hearthswarming?”

That was a very good question. One she really hadn’t given much thought to. “I don’t know. Try all the things I’ve wanted to do since I was a filly I guess?” Pike dug through her brain to find an example. “Paint maybe?”

Anon snorted through his nose. “Sorry honey, but I don’t see you as the painting type.”

“Hey! You don’t know that!” Cut fired back. “Maybe she’s got a hidden talent for it.”

Finally feeling it was time to climb out of the tub herself, Pike took wing. Heading right for Anon, she made several quick turns above his head. This, as she’d found, dried her off very effectively!

...and dumps all the water onto whoever was below her.

“Wha— hey!”

‘Aha! Revenge for being marehandled and dragged into the tub!’

With a smile on her face, Pike landed right next to the once again sopping wet Anon. “And I call this masterpiece: Soaked Stallion!”

Cut giggled into her hoof while the stallion grumbled, his previous queasiness all but forgotten. “Har har har,” he said. “Laugh while you can: tonight it’s my turn to cook!”