The months were flying by. Autumn had passed into winter, and Nocturnal Pike and her coltfriend Anon had found themselves in a comfortable routine; one that was currently being shaken up, as Pike set down the box she'd been carrying, lovingly labeled 'dumb shit.' If she had read that a few months ago, she would’ve had no idea what that meant or what was in it. But after spending so much time with Anon, Pike believed she was starting to truly understand his weird turns of phrase. ‘Shit’ roughly translated to ‘horseapples.’ As for what he’d pack as ‘dumb horseapples?’ Pike would put her bits on the box being full of ball bras. Mare he really didn’t like those things.

Turning to the other boxes, she saw the rest of what Anon had deemed “his essentials.” All in all, it was far less than what she’d expect a stallion to pack, but not less than she’d expect Anon to pack. Only a few toiletries, some board games, those bras, and a relatively light box labeled ‘clothes.’

Oh! And, she couldn’t forget about his work stuff. Given she’d just heard the door to her apartment close, he’d probably just finished bringing them up. Turning around to look at the stallion, Pike could see the strain on his face as he hoisted the box carrying what must’ve been dozens of pages of notes, his camera, and his typewriter. As he dropped the box on the counter—and probably not as gently as he should—he sighed with relief. “Thanks again for letting me stay here, Pike.”

“Of course, what else am I supposed to do? Let my coltfriend freeze to death in his own apartment?”

He breathed out a soul expelling sigh at that. “Then you’re a better mare than my landlady. Un-fucking-believeable; I bet that rat bitch would let her own husband freeze for a bit.”

“Pffft, hahaha! Well Anon...” She elbowed him in the shin. “You certainly got what you paid for, eh?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I really did. I went for a cheaper apartment, and now I’m paying the price. Heh, while she’s paying the price for a new heating system.”

Giving him a supportive smile, Pike gestured with her wings to the apartment around them. “Well, until the heat returns, be that in your building or the weather, my home is your home.”

He smiled. “Thanks Pike, I really appreciate it.”

Anonymous the unicorn may not have been showing it, but he was honestly pretty peeved. He’d run into a repairmare a few days after things had first really gotten cold in his building. Apparently, the heating system hadn’t been updated, or even maintained, in actual decades! She’d said they were practically going to need to replace the whole thing. So not only was the rent about to go up so the owner could afford that, but there wasn't going to be heat in that building for months! During what weatherponies were calling ‘the coldest Winter since Luna’s return!’ So here he was, temporarily moving in with Pike. Normally he would’ve waited a lot longer before moving in with someone, but his options were few. He could A: shell out the big bits for a fancy schmancy crystal heater, or B: move in with Pike.

And he gladly chose B.

Plus, he was looking forward to being able to spend more time with her. She was a busy pony, after all. And there’s no easier way to spend time with someone than to sleep in the same bed as them! Which was why he was busy unpacking most of his worldly possessions for an extended stay in Pike’s apartment full of comically shortened furniture.

'Just look at that dresser in her bedroom! If I was standing next to it, I could rest my chin right on top of it!'

‘Speaking of bedrooms…’

“Hey Pike, is there a good place to put this stuff?”

As Nocturnal Pike turned her attention back to Anon, she saw he was pointing to his ‘clothes’ and ball bra boxes.

‘Uhhhhhhhhhhh’

“They should fit in my closet as long as you don’t need to hang all of them up.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. If I’m being honest, most of these’ll probably never leave their boxes anyhow.”

Ha! Leave it to a stallion to pack something he never uses as an ‘essential.’ Not that she really minded, of course. Turning her attention to the other boxes, she still needed to figure out where the rest of that stuff could go.

‘Hmmmmm, where should I put his typewriter?’

Well, she supposed the first step was finding a table she hadn’t already halved the height of for her convenience. She’d rather not make him spend all that time hunched over like some kind of diamond dog.

‘Let’s see. Maybe I could glue the legs back on that old end table…’

It wasn't long at all before Anon and Pike had finished getting him all moved in. So to celebrate his moving into Pike's abode, (and as a thank-you for letting him stay there), he decided to do something special: indulge the gender roles a bit and cook Pike a nice, homemade meal!

With mixed results.

”Luna a-cough-above Anon what did you do!?”

“I DON’T KNOW!”

Taking in the sight before him, he despaired as what was meant to be a simple veggie stir fry had transformed into a nightmare. The pan had turned a troubling shade of black, and it was spewing smoke at an alarming rate.

”Anon, you’re supposed to put the olive oil in first!”

His first attempt at an answer was cut off by a coughing fit, with the second try only barely making it out. “I did!1”

He'd already turned off the stove, but even pulling the pan off the burner didn't seem to do anything to stop the smoke.

'At this rate, we might have to flee the whole damn apartment!'

Just as he was about to give up hope, Pike suddenly shouted at him, ”quick, open a window!”

Immediately turning his head to the living room, he spotted one. "THERE!"

Reaching out with his magic, Anon whipped it open. Before he could even say that it was, Pike leapt into the air and began beating her wings. At first, he wasn’t sure what she was doing, but then he felt it. Each wingbeat created an air current that began flowing out the window, slowly but surely taking the smoke with it. With every beat the air got clearer, and breathing became easier.

So much easier that he could let out a little cheer!

“Go Pike go!”

As she continued cleaning the air, he telekinetically grabbed the pan and threw it into the sink; hopefully, drowning the culinary abomination would be enough to finally put it out of its misery. Turning on the water, and saying a small prayer, he dunked it in.

Success!

The smoke flow tapered off, and Pike promptly cleared the rest of it out, thereby returning the kitchen to it’s natural order. As she came back down to land beside him, the two of them took some much needed lungfuls of clean air. The respite was nice, but after having a few moments to think, Anon began to feel the tinges of shame.

‘Unbelievable. How did I manage to fuck that up?'

Sure, he was never much of a cook back home, but this was a new low. Placing his head in his hooves, he was unable to muster anything more than a baleful, “I just don’t know what went wrong...”

Turning her attention away from the bliss of clean air, and over to Anon, Pike was treated to a sad sight. His head was down, eyes covered with his hooves, and he wore a pitiable expression on his face. Before she could even think twice she was in full comfort mode. She immediately moved to his side and wrapped him in the biggest hug she possibly could. Sure, her hooves couldn't reach all the way around, but it's the thought that counts, Luna damn it! And while Pike was sure he wasn’t about to burst into tears or anything like that (he’s no little bastard) it wasn’t like she was gonna turn down the chance to hug her coltfriend.

‘So hug him I shall.’

After a few reassuring pats, he pulled his hooves away from his face, revealing the true emotion he was feeling: pure, distilled, exasperation.

“Seriously, you were watching me do that right? All that was in there was oil and veggies.”

Pike couldn’t help but smirk a bit. “And yet it almost burned down the building.”

He groaned. “Fuck, yeah I guess it... wait, why didn’t the smoke alarm go off?”

Figuring the hug had served its purpose, Pike pulled back. “Oh that? I pulled the batteries out before you started.”

“What? Why?”

“Just a hunch.”

At first Anon recoiled, looking offended. But slowly his face fell and he let out a sigh. “Well, damn. I guess you were right.”

‘Oh buck, now you’ve actually got him down.’

Hoping to salvage the mood, Pike gave him a reassuring slap on the back with her wing. “Don’t sweat it! C’mon let’s just get takeout.”

He took a glance out the window, as did she. The snow was really starting to come down.

”Is there any place even open at this point? It’s looking like a blizzard out there.”

Pike grinned. “Oh, I know just the place.”

A quick jaunt through the snow later, and the two returned with their meal: a peetzer larger than any he'd ever seen.

Anonymous shook his head in amazement. “I didn’t even know they made pizzas this big.”

Pike smiled, obviously pleased that her recommendation had impressed him. ”I told you, Giorno makes the biggest, and best, pizzas in Canterlot.”

He smirked. “And I’m guessing that Griffon is the only one who bothers to stock your weird preferred toppings.”

That statement instantly wiped the smile off her face, leaving a look of indignation. “Hey! They aren’t weird!”

Placing the extra large pizza box on her living room table, Anon popped the lid to look at the contents. “Pike, I needn’t remind you that your half of the pizza has mangos and moths on it.”

“Which are THE most popular toppings for bat ponies!”

His face reflected the incredulity he felt. While it would’ve been impossible to argue about the thestrals’ love of moths and mangos, he remained unconvinced that either of them had any place on a pizza pie. Although, considering how much those ponies love their mangoes...

‘Oh, right!’

Anon couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “Speaking of...”

“Speaking of what?”

Plopping himself on Pike’s couch, Anon eyed a brown paper bag he’d left in her kitchen earlier. In an instant, it flew across the room and into his waiting hooves. 'Go telekinesis!'

“Speaking of mangoes,” he said, pulling off the bag to reveal the bottle inside. “I got us this!”

Handing the bottle to Pike, she took a moment to read the label. As she did, her face lit up like a Christmas tree. “‘Noctis Vineyard’s: Mango Moscato!?’ Anon, you shouldn’t have!”

He puffed up like a peacock, pleased as punch with himself. “Hey, what kinda guy would I be if I didn’t treat my fillyfriend to a little something-something every once in a while?”

Pike’s beaming smile got brighter. “Heh, come on let’s get this baby popped open!”

Nocturnal Pike was several glasses of wine into the bottle. And mare, that was some strong stuff! At this point, she’d certainly passed ‘tipsy.’ She wasn’t quite drunk, but she had gotten enough wine into herself that she’d started hanging on Anon. So there she was, upside down between his forelegs, head on the couch, and tail wrapped around his neck like the world’s fuzziest necktie.

”Haha! Hey! That book was right!”

She angled her head to look up at the stallion in question. “What book?”

After a brief look of concentration passed over his face (followed by the sound of something falling over in her bedroom), and a telekinetically suspended book flew into the room. Coming to a stop right by her head, she grabbed it out of the air and took a look at the cover.

“The Complete Guide to Intimacy Between All the Pony Tribes," she read aloud.

“Pretty slick right? I got it so I could be a more dutiful coltfriend and all that.”

‘Awww, how sweet of him.’

Pike smiled. “Anon, you could have just asked me about those types of things.”

“Yeah, but reading is fun!”

She rolled her eyes at the dork before cracking the book open herself.

‘Let’s see how accurate it really is.’

‘Here’s the table of contents…’

‘Thestrals on page 45....’

‘Ah, there!’

After reading the first couple paragraphs, she had to say...

“You know, this is actually pretty accurate!”

Anon’s smile widened just a tad. “I’m glad! That salesmare pitched it to me for TWENTY MINUTES, so it’d better be.”

Pike chuckled and continued to read the chapter. “I see the author remembered to include membrane moistening, good detail.”

Something about what she'd said made him burst out laughing. “Pffffft hahahaha!”

“What?”

“Is that seriously what you call it?”

Putting on an indignant look, Pike puffed out her chest. “Oh? And what would you call it?”

“Wing licking.”

Her face felt a little flush. “B-but that makes it sound so... so dirty.”

Anon, seemingly not picking up on her mounting embarrassment, continued unabated. “It just seems silly to give it such an overly long name though. Cuz that’s what it is right? If I was going to ‘moisten your membranes’ that’d just be me running my tongue up and down your wings...”

By then, Pike’s face had turned beet red. Praying he wouldn’t notice, she attempted to focus on anything in the room that wasn’t what he was talking about. Unfortunately it was all in vain, as he caught sight of her frantically looking away from him.

“Ohhh? Tell me, am I seeing somepony...” he leaned in until she could feel his breath on her ear. “Who would like their ‘membranes moistened’ right now?”

Pike could feel her face getting redder. “Uh, uh, di-didn’t you read the book? I-it’s something you do at the start of the day, n-not at the end!”

Sensing her deflection, he only gave the bat a sly smile. “What’s the matter? I know you’re a popular mare. What, never had a stallion offer to lick your wings before?”

‘Come on Pike, if you keep letting him get you this flustered you’re going to have to turn in your mare-card!’

“O-of course!” Leaping out from under him, and landing on the other end of the couch, she struck a wings extended, tuft out, mareliest of mares pose. “I-I’ll have you know that before I met you, stallions would line up around the block for a chance at these!” She accentuated the point by giving said wings a wiggle.

‘Just look at how perfectly maintained they are!’

Anon seemed unimpressed though, and he turned his attention back to the book. “’As the membranes of a Thestral’s wings don’t grow back like pegasus feathers, Thestrals ascribe a great deal more intimacy on allowing others to lick their wings. A Thestral allowing somepony who was just a one night stand to ‘moisten their membranes,’ is almost unheard of.’”

Looking up from the page, he simply affixed her with a smug grin, knowing the passage spoke for itself.

‘Rats! I should have taken the book so he couldn’t call my bluff.’

Knowing he had her beat, she allowed her posture to deflate and acquiesced. “Yeah, okay I haven’t... but ONLY because the book is right! It’s not the kind of thing you do with someone you just took home from the bar! It’s more... i-intimate. R-Really intimate.”

“So intimate that just the thought of it is enough to fluster a Trixie Thundercunt like yourself?”

Pike’s face lifted a little at that, the compliment alleviating some of the embarrassment. But the fact was, the way she was blushing like a schoolfilly didn’t exactly have her feeling like a Trixie Thundercunt right then.

“Y-yeah...”

He didn’t immediately reply to that, and only smiled.

“Well then...” It was around then she noticed he’d dropped the book, but kept his horn lit. “Let’s see how intimate we get tonight.” As if to punctuate that statement, two more bottles of wine drifted in from the kitchen. And before she could even finish comprehending that remark, he rapidly scooted across the couch until he could drape his foreleg over her shoulders. As he lay his chin atop her head, the bottles came to rest in Pike’s direct field of vision.

‘Wait, those bottles…’

They were mango too.

‘Oh mare.’

The two of them (but mostly Pike) were going to be drinking a lot of wine tonight.

“Anooooon...”

“Hey, come ooon, you said you didn’t have to go to work tomorrow!”

Looking at the bottles, she could feel the sweet mangoes within... calling to her.

“...Promise you won’t let me drink them both myself?”

He leaned into her a little more. ”Promise.”

Author's Note

1. He didn't.