The Long And Short Of It

The walk to Anon’s place was relatively uneventful, and they passed the time with idle banter as they went. Though, as they got further and further away from Burger Princess, Nocturnal Pike gradually began to realize just how little this colt must’ve been getting paid. Mare, all the way past Sun Street? His boss must practically be robbing him!

The long walk also gave her time to realize the two of them had left the restaurant before she could ask him about where he'd grown up. She’d made a few subsequent attempts to find out, but every time he either deflected or changed the subject without really answering anything. She supposed it wasn’t a big deal; after all, colts do love their secrets.

She was sure she’d get it out of him eventually, though. The only thing a colt loves more than a secret is spilling it.

Eventually, they arrived at Anon’s building and took the stairs up to his self proclaimed “bachelor pad.” As he opened the door and beckoned Pike inside, she took a look around. Something about it seemed odd. The place was a decent size—clearly one of the benefits of its far-away location. But as she proceeded to take a seat on his couch, she couldn’t help but notice that the apartment was incredibly sparsely decorated. No pictures of family, no knickknacks, and seemingly nothing that could have come from his old home. In fact, by the look of it, his only apparent possessions were an old crystal tv and some movies.

She’d never seen a stallion’s place with so little in it.

Before she could ruminate on that further, she heard him call out. ”By the way, Pike?” Attempting to turn her attention to Anon, she found that she couldn’t actually see him. He’d wandered off to his bedroom, seemingly in search of something. ”Do you mind if I take this off?”

‘What does he mean? Take what off?’

‘The only thing he’s wearing is…’

‘Is…’

“It just makes me so uncomfortable. It’s fine if you’d rather I keep it on but—”

She didn’t let him finish that thought. “Nonono don’t suffer for my account Anon, by all means.”

He let out a sigh of relief in the other room. “Thank god, you’re the best, Pike.”

She smiled to herself in giddy anticipation, which only grew at the sound of fabric hitting the floor.

‘Oh no Anon, thank you.’

“So anyways check this out...”

Whatever Anon was saying faded out of Pike’s perception as he walked back into the room. Whatever he was carrying in his magic could wait. The only thing that could hold her attention right then were his now visible, pendulous (F CUP!!) balls swinging between his legs. They were mesmerizing. He could’ve walked right over top of her and they’d smack her squarely in the face... she wouldn’t even be able to see around them...

‘Wait, no. Get it together Pike!’

‘Anon trusts you enough that he assumed you wouldn’t rape him with your eyes, and Luna damn it, you’re not letting him down!’

With an immeasurable effort of willpower, she tore her eyes away from his balls and back to his face, allowing his voice to fade back in as she did. “...sure it’s localized differently, but I’m certain this is the same game me and my friends used to play all the time.”

It was right around then that she realized the thing he’d brought in with him was a board game.

“Oh, yeah? What’s it called?”

“XPONI: Enemy Unknown. I know it looks like a lot, but once you’re into it, it’s so thrilling it’ll shave years off your life!”

She suppressed a grimace as she took the box from him. Pike had never really been one for board games; they were too nerdy for her tastes. But... Anon seemed really excited to play it. After all, she was pretty sure he hadn’t stopped beaming the entire time he was talking about it.

Might as well give it a shot. How bad could it be?

The past two hours had been some of the most intense in Nocturnal Pike’s life.

All of them had been spent in the same game. But she didn’t mind, because they were SO CLOSE TO BEATING THOSE ALIEN BITCHES!

“Come on Pike! We need to beat the final mission this turn or we’re fucked!”

‘Buck buck buck!’

And things were looking grim.

“I know Anon, but we have no money! I could only afford these three troops!”

Pike turned her attention to the board. The final mission’s fate rested on nothing more than a sniper, one support, and a heavy. It was enough to complete all the mission objectives, but only just. And if she couldn’t finish the mission this turn, Griffonstone would drop out of the coalition! Seeing as they’d already lost Yakyakistan, losing another kingdom would mean game over!

Pike cast her gaze to the dice in her hooves. The three blue dice that would decide the fate of the world. It was paramount that she rolled three successes, one on each die. Anything less, and the mission failed.

Shaking the dice with all of her might, Pike prayed to Lord Luck.

‘Come onnnnn!’

‘Annnnnnnd toss!’

Pike made the toss.

The two of them watched with bated breath as the dice arced through the air.

‘Touchdown!’

And as they rolled to a stop she saw...

‘Two successes, YES!’

And...

“ONE FAILURE! BUCK! LUNA DAMN IT!”

The troops were dead, the turn was over, AND THOSE CELESTIA DAMNED ALIENS WON!

As Pike prepared to flip the board in a fit of marely rage, Anon called out to her. “WAIT! I have a card that lets you reroll a fail!”

Pike looked over to his side of the board. Sure enough, he’d acquired a card (technically the game calls it ‘equipment,’ but she was calling it what it was: a card) that would let her reroll the failing die..

“Use it, use it, use it!”

He turned the card to its side. “Alright, GO!”

Reaching out, Pike reacquired that blue die and prepared for the next roll. She just needed one more success...

‘C’mooooooooon.’

She tossed the die.

She held her breath as its clatter reached her ears.

‘Aaaaaaaaaaand…’

“SUCCESS! YES!”

Anon leapt into the air, cheering. “FUCK YEAH!”

Final mission complete!? ALIENS BEAT!

Pike pumped her hoof in the air. “GET OFF OUR PLANET!” With a satisfied smile on her face, she reached for the ‘You Win’ placard, ready to—‘hey what the!?’ Before she could do anything about it, Anon had wrapped his forelegs around Pike and hoisted her into the air. The giddy stallion started twirling around on his hindlegs, taking her with him.

“Wooo hooooooo!”

“Anon, wait! You’re gonna-” Before Pike could even finish voicing her warning, they promptly reached the expected outcome of a pony trying to dance around on their hind legs. With a cracking thud, Anon fell right onto his back, the stallion squeezing her tightly against his barrel as he did. ‘EEEEEEEEE!’

”OOOOF.”

As Anon touched down with a groan and a hiss of pain, Pike was hit with a massive wave of worry. “Sweet Luna, Anon are you okay!?”

With one hoof still clutching her to his chest, and another rubbing the spot where he’d obviously bumped his head, he just smiled. ”Pffft, I’m fine. Phew, I forgot what a rush that game was.”

He was right about that, she certainly was into it by the end there. “Yeah, it was a good time. Good choice, Anon.” However, as good a time as they’d had, there was something Pike needed to address. Hardening her gaze, she gave him a quick, light boop on the snoot.

”Wha-hey!”

As his eyes crossed, she let him have it. “Next time you’ve got to keep your whimsey under control!” As she continued, something not quite marely slipped into her voice. “You could have really hurt yourself...”

He just smiled and patted her on the head. ”Oh come on Pike, I’m a big strong stallion, you don’t need to worry about me.”

Allowing her stern gaze to slack, she rested her head on his chest. “Big and strong or not...” She gave him a much gentler and more playful boop. “A mare’s job is to keep her stallion out of trouble.”

At that, his face lit up. “Oho, I guess then, that makes you...”

In a surprise twist, Anon booped her!

“My mare.”

Without giving him a second to think, Pike booped him right back. “Guess it does.”

The two of them didn’t even bother to get up, choosing to lie there, she on top of him, as they laughed and booped each other. It was a great way to spend the hours before her shift.

It was... nice.