Bonus Chapter: Don't Foals Come From Apples?
With the wind hustling by all the autumn-coloured leaves from all the trees from Ponyville, birds were flying towards branches to build up a nest and lay their eggs. The Celestial fiery sun was gleaming bright high in the sky with the clouds being cleared up by the pegasi of Cloudsdale.
After that whole ordeal for the in-the-progress ex-lord and the former queen of the changelings, Pinkie Pie had seemingly taken a stretch out of her eyeballs and peeked over them to have a giggle alongside Celestia, Discord, and Fluttershy. They could not stop giggling about it until they took their laughs to their other friends.
They were all met in the throne room of Twilight's Castle, where the bearers of the elements of harmony, the princesses and draconequus were bursting out in a collective booming, energetic laughter.
Everyone, but one pony.
''I don't get what's so funny, y'all?'' Applejack stated as she stood there with a confused blink of her eyes.
Soon, the laughter amongst the ponies had suddenly dimmed down except for Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie who were having a laughter wrestle before they stopped as there was silence across the room.
''What do you mean, A.J?'' Twilight asked, trotting next to the cowgirl.
''Well...'' The cowgirl shifted her hat backward. ''I just don't understand what's all the shrilly dally, like what's so funny that you're all laughing at?''
Rarity looked confused, then she huffed. ''Really, Applejack! If this is a joke you're playing on us, then it's not funny! How can you not find these two villainous creatures speaking of ''The Talk'' in front of a devious filly?''
''What is ''The Talk'' anyhow?'' Applejack questioned.
Everyone looked at her in disbelief.
Rainbow Dash chortled. ''Oh! I get it! It's 'cuz it's not in its name. Well, it's inferring where foals come from.''
''Yeah, and?'' Applejack raised an eyebrow.
Everyone just stood there quiet because they didn't know what else to say until a yellow pegasus trotted further with her face behind her soft, petal-smelling mane and broke the silence.
''Uhm, Applejack?'' Fluttershy spoke. ''Do you even know where foals come from?''
''What?'' Applejack said. ''Of course, I do! Granny Smith told Big Macintosh and me when we were merely kids, then we had to teach it to Apple Bloom next!''
''Then what is it?'' Pinkie Pie quizzed her as she sat on her poofy tail, bouncing it bubbly.
''I thought you already knew,'' Applejack shrugged but answered her question anyway, ''foals come from apples, don't they?''
There was dead silence across the room and all they could hear were the princesses' manes flowing majestically as they all stared at the cowgirl in utter disbelief.
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, the two goofiest ponies out of them, had their cheeks puffed up with laughter and then erupted as they rolled onto their backs.
''Wow,'' Rainbow Dash uttered. ''And I thought Granny Smith and Applejack were just as smart as Twilight.''
Rarity nudged the blue pegasus in the side.
''That's unfortunately incorrect, Applejack.'' Twilight sheepishly rubbed an arm.
''What?'' Applejack sprouted. ''How? Are you callin' Granny Smith a liar?!''
''Well, no... but scientifically I learned that foals do not come from apples or either eggs. Except for dragons and birds. Foals are actually made when a stallion and mare get really close and-''
The violet alicorn was suddenly disconnected from her lecture as the tall, white alicorn conjured up a zipper over her mouth.
''Please, Twilight. Don't make yourself ruin your friend's innocence because maybe her guardian lied to her as they were not ready to tell her yet?'' Celestia suggested, unzipping the mini alicorn's mouth.
Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but then solely shrugged.
A peaceful smile landed on the alabaster alicorn's lips. ''Although, Applejack, you may need to speak with your grandmother about this as you are old enough to know now.''
Twilight placed a hoof on her friend's shoulder. ''Look, Applejack,'' she said. ''I don't know why Granny Smith told you that...whatever. But I think you should listen to Celestia who's a wise ruler of Equestria and a teacher.''
Applejack looked at both of the princesses quizzically but obeyed them and trotted out the door solemnly.
''Well,'' said Spike, ''that was a bust.''
''Tell me about it,'' Rarity commented.
''Tell you what, Rarity?'' Pinkie Pie looked at her intriguingly.
''I...'' Rarity inspected the hopeful glow on her face. ''Forget it, it's merely an expression, darling.''
''Oh.'' Pinkie Pie's happiness dimmed and had her smile falter off.
Rainbow Dash continued snickering. ''I didn't know that Chrysalis and Tirek would be behaving as parents towards Cozy Glow.''
''We know!'' Luna conceded. ''So unbelievable.''
''I didn't even know Chryssy even had a heart,'' Celestia commented.
''Um... Chryssy?'' Fluttershy pointed out, glancing around her friends.
Celestia blushed. ''We may send letters back and forth ever since the whole Canterlot invasion.''
''You what?!'' Twilight jumped back, having her eyes widened out with shock.
Celestia resettled glasses on herself as she levitated a scroll in front of her as she conjured up a few from her Canterlot lounge. ''To say, she is so much less scary in scroll form.''
Everyone glanced around at each other.
* * *
On top of a hill made out of stone in Tartarus, three villains were looking unamusingly at a vision of the ponies laughing about their ordeal which Chrysalis had conjured up with her magic, even though it was not powerful enough to blast through the bars of their cage since Princess Luna had unreluctantly cast a spell on them as well to prevent them from escaping.
As Cozy Glow was aggravating everything worse than it already was by laughing at the two discomposed figures beside her, Chrysalis let out a displeased snort and glared at the centaur.
''I blame you for this!'' She sent an accusing glare at him.
Tirek was taken aback by this and put his hands up defensively. ''What? It was not me who wanted to know where foals come from because she was foolish enough to take over Equestria first instead of school.''
This made the young peach pegasus filly stop her teasing gestures and look at them displeasingly. ''Hey, you didn't go to school either! Um, did you, Trainwreck?''
''Um, actually I did.'' Tirek rolled his eyes at the sudden misspelling of his own good name. ''I had to be forced to learn everything in my land to drain ponies of their magic, but of course, my brother was too weak to do that, so he ended up betraying me instead.''
The filly stared at him. ''Seriously? You in school? Wow, I can't wait to see your graduation photo if we ever get out of this lousy dump. But golly, something tells me I shouldn't have dropped out of school and took over Equestria early because maybe that's why my plan had failed.''
Chrysalis tapped her chin to ponder. ''Hmm. Yeah, how would your parents think of you like this?''
''Golly!'' Cozy Glow looked anything but annoyed or sad at the mention of her parents. ''My parents were actually cheering me on when I told them I'm going to Twilight's sappy Friendship School to steal all the magic of Equestria.''
''Really?'' Tirek stared at her in disbelief. ''My brother ended up leaving me for my plans, but you ponies are against your own kind?''
Cozy Glow shrugged. ''Me and my parents just thought it would be fun, and it is! Being with Equestrian villains and having that much power is a pleasure!''
''Indeed.'' Chrysalis nodded. ''I heard that most unicorns of your kind are the mastermind of destruction and power since they are practically the only ones with magic.''
A cough was heard from the filly.
With a roll of her bug-like eyes, she added, ''pegasi only have magic to fly and walk on clouds. You just grabbed artifacts to steal magic all around Equestria. Any fool could do that.''
Cozy Glow grunted. ''But I overheard when I was still at Twilight's school that she told Guidance Counselor Starlight how lovely it was to be in the same room as Professor Rainbow Dash one day because she was so spectacular powerful and something else but I assume now that they were talking about sex.''
''Wait,'' the changeling paused. ''Twilight and Rainbow Dash? Really?''
''Yeah!'' Cozy Glow said. ''And that's how I got my hopes up that I could steal their magic!''
''Ooh,'' Tirek marveled. ''How devious! If I was in your position, I would have sucked their magic long ago.''
The filly deadpanned. ''Yeah, but I had to make sure that they trusted me with everything first and didn't think that I was bad so they wouldn't suspect it was me to be the one stealing magic but thanks to those six creatures I ended up failing!''
''Probably a bad ending,'' Chrysalis concluded.
She shrugged. ''I guess villains are always meant to lose against the good ones even if they are cooler and that rainbow laser is getting old and pathetic now.''
''I. Never. LOSE!'' the former changeling queen burst out in a booming voice as she pounded her hooves on the rails firmly, astonishing the two figures beside her by her unforeseen act and lack of calmness.
''Yeah.'' Cozy deadpanned, glancing at the centaur then back at her. ''We know.''
Chrysalis took a deep death, trying to soothe her voice. Her ears soon flicked at the sound coming from the vision she had conjured up to watch what their enemies are doing.
BUZZ!
Cozy Glow hyped up and grabbed her rock sculpture friend, clutching it tightly as her eyes were watching intently at the vision with a hint of satisfaction in her red devilish eyes.
The centaur merely rolled his eyes and sat on the floor where he was far away from the two to enjoy the show.
’’Foals come from apples, don’t they?’’ They could hear a southern accent fluently spoken out of the Element of Honesty’s mouth and even though they did not personally know her, they knew when she was lying or not. Even if it were a joke she’d blabber the truth at the very first minute.
’’That’s unfortunately incorrect, Applejack.’’ Now they could hear a usually matter-of-fact tone coming from a violet alicorn who trotted toward her cowgirl friend to approach her sheepishly.
A few minutes into the show and they were laughing hysterically at the scene in front of them until they heard something that would change their lives forever.
’’I didn’t even know that Chrysalis and Tirek would be behaving as parents towards Cozy Glow.’’
The three most frantic villains stared at each other in complete and utter shock with a mix of disbelief.
Chrysalis spoke first, clearing her throat. She ignited her horn with a glow of green to dematerialize the vision.
‘’I guess we can finally and eternally agree that that was something.’’
‘’Something indeed,’’ Tirek conceded, nodding. He glanced at Cozy. ‘’Can I ask you a question?’’
Cozy smiled innocently at him. ‘’You had never spoken nicely to me before.’’
‘’They are cursing us with friendship,’’ Chrysalis growled.
‘’That vision changed our life?’’ Tirek suggested, and shrugged.
‘’Sooo... what is it?’’ Cozy asked.
‘’Why are you not scared of us? Carry on being enthusiastic with us? Is this some sort of trick you are trying to get us reformed with?’’ Tirek kept asking, growling at the last one.
Cozy continued smiling. ‘’Because you two are cool. Like I said, having that much power is a pleasure!’’
‘’But we don’t have it anymore,’’ Chrysalis pointed out.
‘’Yeah, well...’’ Cozy shrugged. ‘’I see something within us like we were meant to meet each other and work together. I wouldn’t say it’s friendship since we are against that cringe, but...’’
‘’I feel it too,’’ Chrysalis conceded. ‘’Changelings can sense what type of love we are dealing with. The type that keeps all three of us combined is truly something like a spark that enlightened the three of us. We are stronger as a team even when friendship is what we are against.’’
She continued, ‘’it’s something that no one had ever had, not that I heard of.’’
Cozy looked at Tirek, then back at Chrysalis. ‘’I see that you are like a dad to me, Tartarsauce, and a mom to me, Queen Christmas.’’
Tirek would have growled at the misspelling of his name if only his heart hadn’t suddenly melted at the weight of her words.
Chrysalis remained silent. She began pawing down at her hoof shown in front of her, then pushed a smile onto her lips. But it wasn’t a smile where she had declared victory evilly, but a smile that she used to give to her changeling army - children - something that felt sincere satisfaction.
‘’Very well.’’ Chrysalis nodded idly. ‘’We shall look after you and rule many lands together, my little filly.’’
They all chuckled darkly simultaneously, a beaming blue illumination from the giant door’s keyhole below shining on the three villainous bodies.
* * *
Applejack entered through the gates of Sweet Apple Acres and trotted through the isle of trees in her orchard to reach a big, red barn to meet up with her grandmother.
As her hooves tapped as she went, a train of thoughts kept on racing through her mind as if she was paranoid. She felt humiliated and annoyed that everyone watched her not knowing where foals come from because her own grandmother didn't have the decency to tell her, she felt stupid but tried to make sure that the others had forgotten about that already.
She swayed the door open and made her way through to find an elderly green pony sitting in her chair in the living room, staring blankly in space and rocking about.
''Granny,'' the younger mare spoke. ''Can I ask you about something?''
''What is it, Applejack?'' asked the elder mare as she continued rocking back and forth in her chair.
''Where do foals come from?'' Applejack asked, surprisingly confident as she wasn't sure what the answer would be. Granny Smith stared at her, then sighed.
''I guess it's time for the three of ya to know now,'' she replied.
''So... you lied to me?'' Applejack muttered quietly, a wave of shadow washed over her face. The elder mare nodded weakly. ''I don't quite understand, Granny. Why on earth would you do that?''
Granny Smith sighed. ''I wanted to tell y'all, I really did. But y'all were so innocent that y'all were still believing in the Great Seedling.''
''But that doesn't-'' Applejack stopped herself and let out a sigh. ''Okay, Granny. I'm ready to know now. Please? I'm old enough to know!''
''I know, hun. And I will tell ya.'' Granny Smith smiled at the mature young adult she had raised her whole life.
She got up from her chair and sat down slowly on the couch and patted on the spot next to her for her granddaughter to sit down. ''Now, foals come from when a stallion and mare get really, really, really, really-''
''Okay. I get it, Granny,'' Applejack interrupted her but accidentally sounded a bit rude.
She cleared her throat. ''Right. It's just awkward knowing I have to teach my grandkids this at this age.’’
Applejack looked at her grandmother with a frown.
The elder mare dropped a sigh of unease. ‘’When they get really close, the stallion sticks his penis inside the mare's vagina, making the sperm swim all the way towards the eggs inside her body to get through the process, known as ‘fertilization’. The fertilized eggs soon form into foals inside the mare's womb, and eleven months later, the mare enters through labor to get her fully-form foal pushed out of her vagina, and then life is born.''
Her voice hung in the air for several seconds to settle some tension between the two grown-up mares.
Applejack stared at her expressionless, then she blinked. ''Wow,'' she uttered. ''Really? So that's how a foal is made? Why, that's not even embarrassing to tell me.''
''You still don't get it, A.J.'' Granny Smith looked at her unsettlingly.
The cowgirl opened her mouth to speak but suddenly got cut off as a yellow filly entered into the living room wearily with her eyes groggily and her mind being dazed, indicating she had merely woken up from her sleep.
''What's all the commotion, y'all?'' asked the filly as she let out a small yawn.
Came behind her was a big, red, and muscular stallion who also let out a yawn and had his eyelids darkened due to the abundance of tiredness from waking up from his slumber.
''Ah! Big Mac, Apple Bloom!'' the elder mare called. ''You came just in time.''
''Uh, just in time for wut exactly?'' the youngest granddaughter asked.
The middle sibling answered for her before their grandmother could, ''there might be something wrong that Granny Smith or I told ya 'bout where foals come from.''
''Oh, yeah. They come from apples, don't they?''
Applejack blushed through her embarrassment, then darted her eyes back at her grandmother.
''N-No. They come from in a more complicated way.''
Big Macintosh raised an eyebrow. ''Then how?''
Granny Smith smiled at her two left-innocent grandchildren and gathered them on the couch to get her awkwardness ready again to also tell them about ''The Talk''.
The Seriously End
I'd rather be encased in stone
Daunting and alone. Except they all had each other during their eternity being locked up in Tartarus. The entire room was formidable, even to them. Different unique creatures kept snarling and barking aggressively up at the enormous cage above that was sitting on top of a stoned hill. The belligerent pounding on the rails felt like it was creaking to break, but thankfully there was a magic-proof spell cast on them by Princess Luna herself.
Tirek, a previous lord in the making in his homeland and the older brother of Scorpan but betrayed him as he was tempted to drain ponies of their magic, was doodling an ‘X’ many times inside a grid already drawn on the ground with a stick, he had found lying around somewhere in the cage, as he was playing Knots and Crosses with the former queen of the changelings: Chrysalis.
She was a ruler of her changeling subjects and known to suck the love out of ponies from Equestria since they were mostly immune to friendship; which Chrysalis would gag about. Luckily, thanks to Starlight Glimmer, she convinced the whole changeling nation to share their love instead of draining them and becoming vicious, except for Chrysalis though; she still hadn’t tried to redeem herself.
But she nearly did when she had finally reached the destination of the adventure for retrieving the bewitching bell, created by Grogar (Father of Monsters), with some help from her two friends, but she wouldn’t like to call them that, but servants as she is an evil queen. Well, was.
On the left side of them, there was a little peach pegasus filly rolling around on the dusty ground of the cage. The bars on it were as rusty and molding like it hadn’t been cleaned up in forever; which was true. She was stretching her eyelids out of frustration and boredom because of having nothing else to do, except to annoy her companions that were also trapped up in the cage alongside her.
She hastily sprouted up from the ground and tapped the centaur on the shoulder, having him turn around irritatingly, she batted her eyelashes innocently.
‘’What is it now?’’ Tirek inquired harshly, displeased by the dissatisfaction of that movement for the millionth time during their long time being stuck here.
‘’I’m bored,’’ Cozy Glow simply stated as a reply, which got a roll of Chrysalis’ green bug-like eyes, but she insisted on further continuation, ‘’so I was suggesting if you two could tell me where foals come from? I never had the time to learn about it since, well...’’ she trailed off as the others already knew what she was going to say, but they looked at her with their eyes shrunk.
Chrysalis blinked. ‘’What was that?’’
‘’I said...’’ the filly was interrupted as a charcoal coloured hoof was shoved up her mouth to prevent her from speaking further.
Tirek just casually smirked. ‘’Aren’t you a little too young to know still?’’
Cozy Glow rolled her eyes and then deadpanned. ‘’A filly being trapped in Tartarus because she was clever enough to drain power all around Equestria and then later on, joined the villain’s side permanently to get revenge?’’ Suspense caught both of the adults. ‘’Golly, I don’t think so.’’
‘’Well, I’m not doing this.’’ Tirek put his hands up in defense.
Chrysalis looked at him poutingly. ‘’Aw, what’s wrong?’’ she asked. ‘’Too coward enough to tell a young filly where foals come from? BLECH! This would be a piece of Celestia’s cake.’’ She said in a whisper tone, ‘’all you need to do is tell her where they come from and then throw her little friend over there at her so she wouldn’t bug us anymore.’’ She glanced at a rock sculpture outside of the cage.
Tirek shrugged at the former changeling queen, then turned around to face the peach pegasus filly, waiting for the older female to begin ‘’The Talk’’.
Cozy Glow sat down with Rock Sculpture on her lap and had her ears perk up with eagerness. Chrysalis wasn’t frightened at all and kept her cool as she began talking.
‘’Well,’’ Chrysalis started, ‘’it starts when a mare and stallion get really, really, really close with each other and they snuggle for a bit to get warmed up so they could begin with the sexual intercourse.’’
Cozy Glow tilted her head in confusion. ‘’Sexual intercourse? What’s that?’’
The former changeling queen smacked herself with a hoof and rolled her eyes. ‘’For goodness’ sake, it’s SEX! Do you not know what that is either?’’
The filly remained expressionless.
Chrysalis snarled. ‘’Very well,’’ she said. ‘’As you’re only a filly and trying to know where foals come from, then I could eternally understand that.’’
Tirek grew impatient as he wanted to enjoy the show of a villainous filly being told about ‘’The Talk’’ by a former changeling queen. He threw a stick that he had been playing with during Knots and Crosses behind his back. ‘’So? Are you going to tell her or what? I thought your majesty wasn’t at least bit nervous to do this.’’
A huffing sound came from the changeling. ‘’Of course I’m not. I spent all my years teaching my subjects about where foals come from, so it’ll be no sweat!’’
Tirek arched an eyebrow, then let out an irritated snort. ‘’Fine then,’’ he said. ‘’Go ahead, your highness.’’
Chrysalis stared at the peach pegasus filly tensely as her eyes were filled with pure innocence and eagerness to know about ‘’The Talk’’. She remembered when she would often get those eyes from her subjects when she was once ruling before that pesky Starlight Glimmer ended her reign!
The bug-like former changeling queen could feel her teeth getting hardened out of anger and wanting to strangle that lavender unicorn for corrupting her life, but not for long anyway. She had her confidence up that everything would go her way, eventually.
Tirek looked at her perplexingly, then smacked his forehead, and began himself:
‘’So, it’s when a stallion puts his penis inside the mare’s vagina, and then after when sex is over, the sperm swims towards the mare’s eggs inside her body to get them fertilized. Then the fertilized eggs slowly form into foals inside the mare’s womb, and eleven months later, the mare enters labor to get her fully formed foal pushed through her vagina and is then born with finally entering this unpleasant world.’’
Chrysalis watched him with pure shock, but the filly looked at him with amazement in her eyes.
‘’Wow,’’ she uttered. ‘’Can I do that?’’
‘’NO!’’ the two adults shouted in unison at the top of their lungs, almost startling the pegasus filly and perhaps the creatures from their cages below. Although they were ignored and uncared for. Cozy Glow had merely winced and didn’t show other signs of being frightened since she is an audacious little filly, and instead makes ponies or creatures fear against her. After all, she did have a reputation of holding dominance.
‘’Though,’’ said the filly, ‘’I have yet one more question to ask.’’
‘’Ugh,’’ Chrysalis grunted. ‘’Go ahead, it saves some enjoyment while being stuck here.’’ She rested her head on her hooves as they were leaned against the rails.
‘’What is a penis?’’ the filly asked, once again innocently intrigued to know.
Chrysalis perked up.
‘’I can show you mine if you’d like,’’ Tirek suggested with a sly grin on his face.
Chrysalis panicked, gulped, and coughed. ‘’Uh, no... we don’t want you to do that.’’
‘’What’s the matter?’’ he asked out of the blue. ‘’I thought you loved it.’’
The changeling blushed furiously. ‘’I- I mean, I have a fact to say... so when I was ruling the changelings before, we used to gain love by mostly doing sex with the pony’s soulmate you are disguised in.’’
Tirek widened his eyes, then looked at her in surprise. ‘’What? Really?’’
Chrysalis nodded.
‘’Was it fun?’’
Chrysalis and Tirek both turned their heads at the innocently young peach pegasus filly who had that question slipped from her mouth.
‘’Again,’’ said Tirek, ‘’I don’t mind showing it to you.’’
Chrysalis stuck out her tongue. ‘’Really? A foal having a foal? And how would we get a hospital in Tartarus for that in the first place?’’
Tirek shrugged. ‘’It’ll be fun though, and I’m sure she’ll enjoy it too so it wouldn’t be considered as rape.’’
‘’What’s rape?’’ an innocent Cozy Glow asked.
‘’ENOUGH!’’ Chrysalis vociferated in a booming voice, strident enough to startle the two figures beside her again and especially the other creatures inside their cages below them as well.
The changeling sent a glare at the centaur. ‘’No more revealing new, unfamiliar words to her.’’
‘’Why?’’ Tirek asked. ‘’Because you care about her filly innocence so much?’’
‘’No, it’s because...’’ Chrysalis and Tirek started bickering further than they would always do.
However, Cozy Glow just sat there with an innocent smile on her face before it shifted into a devious, sly grin.
‘’Hehe! Oh, Cozy, you wicked, devious little thing. You got them good. It’s no wonder you were a mastermind of dominance and power. Mom and Dad would be so proud!’’ Cozy Glow thought aloud...
...her eyes twinkling evilly red at the glowing orb in the giant door’s keyhole.
The (Fucking Horny) End
