Episode 18: Dr. Whooves on the Daily Show

Throughout the interview Whooves had offered several claims about what would happen in the future, none of which were easy to prove true. It was quite possible that everything he’d been saying was made up and just done for shock value but once he started to list some of Jon’s future endeavors he became more credible.

He knew that Jon was planning on leaving the show for a little bit to make a movie, a plan he kept secret from nearly everyone who wasn’t involved in the project. And now he’d done the exact same thing with Celestia and since what he unveiled about Jon was the truth it stands to reason that what he said regarding Celestia was fact as well.

This meant that as far as both Jon and Celestia were concerned Whooves had done what almost seemed impossible. Prove that he was a time traveler without actually time traveling or having his time machine present. This was it; Jon was at the precipice of having his plan coming to fruition.

All Jon now needed was to stall for time.

“Wow that’s really... I mean I know she was quite the skilled Unicorn but to think it’d go as far as uh... as her becoming a princess herself...I-I mean wow!” Jon said, determined to stay on topic, if only to eat up time. “So wait, is she still a Princess in your time?”

“She sure is,” Whooves answered. “Her duties usually revolve around maintaining order in Canterlot, Cloudsdale, and of course Ponyville. That entire region could be considered her beat though she spends most of her time in the Castle. She’s actually very skilled as an ambassador so she often travels to other nations representing the royal family.”

Jon was only partially listening by this point. His attention was split down the middle between the interview and focusing on his next move as well as preparing himself for the signal.

“So tell me... uh... s-since Twilight still exists in your time,” Jon began. “Does... does that mean you have to avoid her here in the present? I assume if you made contact with her here she might remember you in the future and that could... well that could be bad for the timeline, right?”

“A very astute observation on your part! And in fact you are correct,” Whooves said while nodding. “I do my best to avoid ever being in the same room as her, yes. Even though I’m certain that in 1000 years she won’t remember me either way... or even make the connection about me being in the future. But yeah, Twilight, if you’re hearing this... if you ever wonder why whenever you come over to visit Derpy I lock myself up in my room... well don’t feel paranoid because I am avoiding you.”

“Isn’t that-- isn’t it awkward to travel centuries into the past and end up having to uh, uh, having to avoid interacting with your friend?” Jon asked.

“Nope. Not even a little bit and I’ll tell ya why,” Whooves began. “You see calling Twilight my friend is... a bit of a stretch. In my time we know of each other buuuut I wouldn't say we’re friends.”

“Okay... uh, why not?” Jon said.

“Simply put; she hates me,” Whooves said.

“Well tha-- wait... what did you say?” Jon fumbled to say, his attention now completely undivided. “T-Twilight... hates you?”

“Ooo-ho-hooooo yes, yes she does,” Whooves continued with a toothy grin. “She hates... my guts!”

Various audience members as well as Daily Show staff and crew looked away from the stage only so they could look at each other with confused glances. Jon shared their reaction as he looked like Whooves had just answered his question in gibberish.

“I don’t... what?” Jon said, followed by a quick chuckle from the audience. “A-are you sure we’re uh, we’re talking about the same pony here? Purple body, streaked hair, huge nerd? I’ve... I’ve interviewed Twilight before and... and we’ve met a few times and I got to say... she’s... she’s a really stand up gal. I don’t think she’s even capable hating anyone.”

“Oh trust me, she hates me,” Whooves said. “She told me so herself... and that’s okay cause to be quite honest she’s not my favorite pony either.”

“Okay what-- not to go all Jerry Springer on your ass but why exactly do you two have such bad blood between each other?” Jon asked.

“So you’re asking why she hates me?” Whooves guessed.

“Yes; please explain,” Jon said. “Because out of all the things you’ve said here today... claiming that Twilight would hate anyone is probably the most unbelievable.”

“Ahhhh, you’re just like the ponies back home. They all love Twilight too... or at least they used to,” Whooves chuckled. “Alright, you want to know why little Ms. Perfect finds me so detestable... fine I’ll tell ya... the reason why Twilight hates me is because... well to be honest there’s quite a few reasons.”

The way he freely admitted to this made the audience laugh in response with Jon silently listing a few possible reasons himself.

“But first let’s start off with the basics and go over all the things we’ve already learned today, children,” Whooves said, sounding like a homeroom teacher right before a commulitive exam. “Do you recall what I said about time travel in the future?”

“Uuuuh... yes, it’s forbidden,” Jon answered correctly. “So much so that... the Castle had them all destroyed.” He was starting to get a clear idea of what was going on.

“That’s right and the pony who spearheaded this movement was Twilight herself,” Whooves revealed. “She rallied for the destruction of all time traveling spells and convinced those who had knowledge of them to have their memories wiped of how to make them... it took years and there were those like Celestia who were against it, but in the end she got her way.”

“Again... I’m finding it hard to believe that uh, Twilight would do this,” Jon commented. “I meant-- I mean the Twilight I know loves magical spells and would never call for the massacre of a certain kind of spell.”

“Well the Twilight you know today is a much different pony from the Twilight I know 1000 years from now... much different. Okay, bear with me here... her reasons for trying to get rid of time travel completely was one layered with her own selfish ideas and internal fear... I realize this isn’t the most diplomatic way of explaining things but it’s true,” Whooves attempted to explain. “At the time she claimed that this was the best solution and that she was the leading expert on time travel because she did it once, for a few seconds, centuries ago.... I’m sorry but a nearly failed attempt of traveling into the past does not make a pony any more proficient in the art of time travel than my own flank!”

“Two things I want to note here,” Jon said. “The first being that I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so riled up about something like this. Also I don’t-- I did not know Twilight once went into the past!”

“Credit where credit is due, she did time travel once before. You see when she was younger Twilight used a time traveling spell once and the way she describes it she ended up causing herself more trouble in the long run,” Whooves explained. “And then there was the incident with Retchstrike... she was directly involved in helping to defeat him.”

“Retchstrike?” Jon asked before immediately remembering the name. “Oh right! That uh... that evil monster who invaded Canterlot and tried to use a time traveling spell to uh... to go back in time to destroy the Elements of Harmony?”

“Correct. You see between her ‘experience’ as a time traveler and almost having the elements of harmony destroyed, the very force that brought Twilight and her friends together and saved Equestria numerous times, Twilight was convinced that time travel was too dangerous a force to keep around,” Whooves explained. “But what I want to illustrate more than anything else... nothing... absolutely nothing gave her the right to take away such a-- I mean what she’d been through in no way made her an expert!”

Again Jon noted that all the talk of time travel had made Whooves reveal a more serious side to him the likes of which he thought weren’t possible.

“You had to know what it was like,” Whooves added. “I’m not sure if you’d be able to understand but we had a leader making a potentially life changing decision on a topic that she knew barely anything about! It was quite frustrating.”

As a satirical comedian whose primary form of amusement came from politics, Jon knew this feeling all too well, to an almost unhealthy degree.

“Yeah that’d be like old white guys in their 80’s making decisions on women’s contraceptive products,” Jon jested as he rubbed his palm against his face and up into his hand. “And I’m sure you didn’t just sit around and.... that is to say I’m sure you didn't stay quiet about all this.”

“Oh, I was very outspoken against it from the very beginning,” Whooves proudly stated. “As I’m sure you’ll recall I’ve been interested in the idea of traveling through time since I was but a young colt... so to have the Castle destroy our only means of doing so didn’t sit well with me.”

“And this is why you and Twilight don’t like each other?” Jon asked. “Because of your opposing sides on this issue?”

“Well yes and no... this was certainly one reason. If you remember I was one of the top members of the Terra Equinity society; we were notorious for opposing the Castle on almost every issue and with time travel it was no different. There were some conflicting opinions but a majority of us agreed that their actions were too reckless,” Whooves went on to say. “So basically Terra Equinity was the largest and most influential group that opposed the royal family and I was one of their most outspoken. For the longest time Twilight knew me as that one pony from that one group who tried to rally support against them. I was never her favorite pony in Equestria.”

“Did you two have like turf wars? Since song and dance is quite common in your world I uh... I can imagine it being like a West Side Story kind of thing,” Jon said much to the confusion of Whooves who didn’t get the reference as was expected. The crowd quickly laughed at the idea leaving Whooves befuddled so Jon picked up with a new, and more serious question. “And I imagine... actually inventing your own time machine and going into the past anyway didn’t help either, did it?”

“Ooooooh yes, that little incident made her so mad! She was so certain that she had completely eliminated all forms of time travel- she spent years making sure it could never be done, it was one of her life's work and then here I come to ruin her day!” Whooves said with a most devilish of smiles. “Best part was there were rumours that I was making one and she even knew about it, but again since I was just a dumb ol’ Earthpony no officials ever came knocking at my door asking questions like they did with everypony else. Speaking of which, remember all those other Unicorns that were either arrested or prevented from trying to create time magic when Bolt shock issued his challenge?”

“Yes,” Jon said. “What about them?”

“Well after I escaped Twilight gathered them all up and... oh this is the best part.... she gathered them all up.... oh god--” Whooves said, stopping to catch his breath and trying not to laugh. “She gathered them all up... and offered a reward if they could successfully create time travel so she could go back in time and stop me!”

Throwing his head back Whooves began to laugh as loudly as he could as if he wanted future Twilight to hear him. Tilting forward he began to slam his hoof against the table as his laughter grew louder and louder.

“So you’re saying... she tried to reinvent that which she thought dangerous and evil... just so she could capture you?” Jon asked.

“I know right! Isn’t that hilarious!? Ooooh she got so desperate too! And when that didn’t work she created a sub division of the Castle’s magic program called The Chronos Program,” Whooves trilled with gleeful pride. “Their main task was to invent a stable time machine that she could use to stop me from using mine. Her hate for me was so great that she went back on every word she ever said about time travel being dangerous.”

“Well then aren’t you scared that she’ll do just that?” Jon asked.

“Do I look scared to you? You see that’s the beauty of time travel... the mere fact that I managed to do it in the first place means that she’ll never recreate the same magic that she herself had destroyed,” Whooves countered. “Infinite time paradox you see Jon; if she ever found a way to time travel she would have stopped me and yet I’m still here. But just to be on the safe side once I traveled secretly into the future and I mean waaaaaaay into the future and discovered that Twilight never succeeded in her plans to try and capture me... in fact historically speaking there has been only one pony to ever create a working time machine... and you’re looking at him.”

“My God... how... how long did she try?” Jon asked.

“Far too long; funny part is that I technically didn’t break any laws. After she destroyed all time spells she was convinced that no one could recreate them so when the law banning the use of  time based spells came up for review she didn’t renew it, thinking it would just be a redundant waste of time,” Whooves chuckled as he leaned back and folded his hooves behind his head. “If I could give future Twilight one piece of advice it would be to stop trying and save the taxpayers money.”

“Oh man I can only imagine how the people of Equestria reacted to this,” Jon stated.

“Jonathan... you have no idea. That’s the cherry on top of the sunday that is Twilight’s hatred for me. You see the day I escaped to the past is looked at as one of the greatest days in Equestrian history. On that day ponies of all ages ran into the streets and rejoiced at my exploit,” Whooves claimed with a now skeptical looking Jon. “I’m not exaggerating when I say that after the day I went to the past ponies celebrated for an entire week straight. News of what happened spread to the four corners of the world and from there on it was recognized as a holiday celebrating creative ingenuity. Every year there’s a parade and every year Twilight refuses to attend it.”

“The people of your world really liked that you defied the royal family like that?” Jon wondered out loud.

“Oh they loved it! Remember because of Terra Equinity and the teachings of my mentor, Zenith, more and more ponies were starting to rely less on magic and the Castle and more on science and technology. I kickstarted a new series of generations more enlightened than anything ever seen before,” Whooves explained. “My time traveling escape is seen by some in a negative light but for a majority it’s a pivotal moment in ponykind, scientists and Earthponies for centuries to come would look to me as a role model and a testament that those who aren’t of royal privilege have the capacity to do great things as well.”

“No offense... but from the perspective of Twilight I can see why she doesn’t like you,” Jon said.

“And that’s just it! The fact that I, one of her biggest political rivals, defied her in the most comprehensive fashion imaginable was bad enough but as a result all her loyal subjects praised me for it. You see, what I accomplished not only undid all the work that Twilight accomplished but it forced her to realize that what she was doing wasn’t viewed by her people as anything but an overreach of her power; it was a real wake up call one might say,” Whooves suggested. “Twilight always claimed that she was looking out for the best interest of the people by destroying all magic spells... but afterward she saw first hoof just how much everypony didn’t side with her on the issue. And then afterwards when she tried to re-invent time travel to stop me she ended up alienating every pony in Equestria; those who were always in support of her frowned on her decision to go back on her word and try to create time magic while those who were always against her hated the fact that she wasted so much money trying to stop me.”

Again Jon was hearing things about his friend that didn’t sound like her. Though he of all people knew, when put into a position of power over many people, how difficult it was to make everyone happy. It seemed that even in Equestria, politics can be bring out the worst in people.

“The time spent trying to find me is considered one of the lowest moments in her infinite lifetime as she never really bounced back from her low approval ratings,” Whooves added. “I didn’t mean for that to be the case but... what can you do? She just couldn’t stand that because of me she became the persona non grata in her own kingdom.”

“So... this is why she hates you?” Jon finally said.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Whooves shrugged. “Well... that and the other thing.”

“W-what other thing?” Jon asked surprised that there was more.

“Oh there’s still much to discuss about me and Twilight and thankfully for you I’ll let you in on the secret,” he hinted. “In truth everything I’ve said is why Twilight hates me... but in the grand scope of things it’s only about one fifth of the reason.”

“Really!? Only one fifth!?” Jon exclaimed as he looked to audience then back at him. “So... having to-- so leading a powerful group to try and block every decision she made... build-- building a time machine and going back in time despite her years of effort, rallying her own subjects against her forcing her to come to terms that she wasn’t as in control or was as appreciated by her own people as she thought she was... all this... all of this doesn’t even warrant more than just one fifth!? What else-- Jesus Whooves what else did you do to that woman!?”

“It’s not so much what I did but who I did it with,” Whooves answered.

“Okay, you’re losing me now,” Jon said.

“You really want to know the real reason Twilight hates me?” Whooves asked but didn’t wait for a response. “Alright but first a little more backtracking is in order... do you remember Zenith? My Mentor?”

“You mean pony Galileo? Yeah I remember,” Jon answered. “What about him?”

“I don’t know if you remember but I did mention that he was related to Twilight,” Whooves reminded.

“Yeah... Oh yeah!” Jon said finally remembering. “That’s right, you did say that! Didn’t you-- wasn’t he also very outspoken against the Castle as well?”

“That’s putting it mildly. Remember his philosophical views on life created the age of enlightenment, ushering in a generation of free thinkers who were against the Castle. His teachings sparked a cultural movement of ideas that continued to give the royal family trouble long after his death,” Whooves recapped. “In addition, he not only inspired me to be the stallion I am today but he also was the founder of the Terra Equinity society which was made basically to stonewall her at every move.”

“God damn!” Jon commented with a face like he saw someone being broken in half. “How-- It must have been incredibly awkward... for her-- for Twilight to know that a descendant of hers would end up being her greatest political enemy.”

“It’s even more awkward when you take into consideration that Zenith was her first born son,” Whooves revealed offhandedly.

The usual rule of thumb when interviewing someone on television, especially one with a format like The Daily Show, is to ask questions and make the conversation flow to make the focus be on the guest. If he or she began to talk about someone else you can explore the topic but always keep in mind that the person in front of you is who you’re interviewing. And while Jon was determined to keep things Whooves related he soon found himself raptured by other ponies who he barely knew.

“Wait what!?” Jon barked as he slammed his palms against the table like he was going to get up. “Zenith is the son of Twilight!?”

“Yes... did I not mention that?” Whooves said with an innocent smile.

“Well... no!” Jon answered. “When you said he was a descendant of Twilight... I assumed the generational gap was a bit larger than mother and son.”

“Oh well I am sorry but yes, in the future Twilight gets married and has four children,” Whooves continued. “A boy and three girls... the son being of course Zenith.”

“I-- wait a minute,” Jon said, pausing to think things over. “Are you saying... are you saying it takes-- it took Twilight a 1000 years to find herself a man?”

Usually only amused by his own antics, Whooves began to laugh a few moments before the audience as he saw that coming but still found the joke rather amusing. As serious as this was to Jon he couldn't pass up an opportunity to tease a friend of his.

“I mean I know she’s a strong independant mare who don’t need no stallion but to think she’d wait so long,” Jon added. “Talk about a late bloomer.”

“Actually… aaah, actually the story of Twilight being a mother is a rather sad one,” Whooves said while trying to hold back some left over laughs. “The reason why Twilight didn’t start a family to much later in life is because as an Alicorn she was granted immortality. As such, she was forced to watch as her closest friends and family grew old and eventually died while she stayed the same age. She had many chances to settle down but never did because she thought couldn't handle watching as she outlived her own husband and children.”

“God damn, future Twilight just can not catch a break!” Jon commented.

“Yes but eventually she did find a pony... a stallion who she loved so much that she was willing to start a family with him,” Whooves added which made the crowd vocalize how romantic it sounded. “And then what a great cruelty it was that she ended up having a very strained relationship with her first born, Zenith.”

“Oh no... don’t tell me she hates him too,” Jon said.

“Actually,” Whooves said. “Otherway around.” Hearing this caused a slight jolt of pain through Jon’s heart. As a family man himself he was fortunate to not know of such sadness first hand.

“Twilight’s... Twilight’s own child hates her?” Jon said, sounding as sympathetic as possible.

“You know, if you were to ask him yourself he’d say yes... but honestly he loves... at least I think he loves his mother as much as the next pony and I can say that now without fear of him hitting me over the head with his cane because he doesn’t exist yet,” Whooves said. “But if--”

“So then why does he uh... why does he claim to hate his own-- to hate Twilight?” Jon interrupted. “Wh-what happened between them to cause such a falling out?”

“Well to understand that you need to understand what it meant... for Zenith to be born the son of the great Twilight Sparkle because it was a struggle for him since day once. You see in the future, as I said before, Twilight does eventually find a pony who she loves enough to get married to and it wasn’t with just any old run of the mill pony,” Whooves explained as he adjusted himself in his seat and straightened his suit. “You see, in the future Twilight marries the captain of the Canterlot Guards... a Unicorn by the name of Chambermane. Chambermane was looked at... I guess you can say as the action hero of the time; he’s considered to be the greatest soldier in the history of Canterlot and debatably all of Equestria. He was promoted to captain at a very young age, and made general where he was largely considered to be the reason Canterlot won the great Equestrian war against the griffons and it was he who took back the badlands region by himself during the war of ‘72. But he didn’t just fight, he was also quite the delegator; it was his diplomatic involvement and knowledge of policies that made it so Equestria didn’t have a civil war over the Castle’s refusal to reinstate old legislation to--”

“You’re losing me... again!” Jon warned.

“Oh sorry... uh, basically put while Twilight was considered to be the leading authority on magic Chambermane was considered to be the ultimate warrior,” Whooves explained. “Seriously, the guy had so many medals he clinked when he walked.”

“Wow, talk about a power couple,” Jon commented. “Eat your heart out Jay-Z and Beyonce.”

“And there was the first challenge. You see when the two of them got together they quickly got started on a family and Twilight was pregnant within a few weeks of their marriage,” Whooves explained. “Everypony was excited. The consummation of Twilight and Chambermane was believed by many to be the beginning of the most important birth in Equestrian history.

“So you guys freak out over royal births too I see,” Jon commented as his audience laughed while Jon peaked over at the camera like he was addressing Kate Middleton herself.

“And for good reason. You see, ponies believed that Twilight’s and Chambermane’s first born would be their future leader who would lead them into a better tomorrow. With Twilight being the most magically proficient Unicorn in the Castle and Chambermane being the strongest Unicorn on the battlefield, everypony assumed their son, or daughter, would be the greatest Unicorn to ever live,” Whooves explained with overly dramatic waves of his forelegs. “The child will have the magical know-how of its mother and the strength of its father, they all said. Their first born will be a symbol to all that the Unicorn bloodline in Canterlot was the apex of the pony race and proof of the Castle’s power; a God among ponies.”

“That is a lot of pressure to put on a baby,” Jon said, trying to lighten the mood as he was starting to see where this was going. “I mean Jesus... when I was a kid all that was expected of me was to learn my ABC’s and tie my shoes.”

After a brief bout of laughter from the audience Whooves continued where he left off.

“Of course Twilight never saw things in that light. All she wanted was a healthy baby to call her own and maybe carry on her legacy,” Whooves continued. “But imagine her surprise when she gave birth to Zenith... an Earthpony.”

“I’m going to go ahead and assume that everyone was accepting of this, there was no racial backlash, and they were just happy to know that he was born healthy?” Jon guessed.

“Well, suffice it to say a lot of ponies were disappointed. Many of them assumed that the two greatest Unicorns at the time would give birth to, well, a Unicorn who would grow up to be even greater than them. Turns out Chambermane’s grandparents were Earthponies and the recessive gene carried over to his son,” Whooves said. “Earthponies were and are considered to be inferior to Unicorns so this was seen by many as an abomination unto the Castle... but while many didn’t like this turn of events Twilight and her husband, by all accounts, never stopped loving him; his birth was considered by Twilight to be the happiest day of her life.”

“Why do... uh, why do I get the feeling that you’re about to tell me something like... uh, something like Zenith felt like he was never good enough for her?” Jon said.

“Because Zenith felt like he was never good enough for her. Even at a young age he always felt like Twilight was ashamed of him. And he knew that there were ponies who hated him simply because he was the first Earthpony to be born into royalty. It got even worse when Twilight gave birth to her next three children, all three Unicorns, and it was here that Zenith started to grow apart from Twilight,” Whooves disclosed. “You see, despite her love for them equally Twilight did give extra attention to her daughters, Horizon, Meridian, and Nadir only in the sense that they had more in common so it was easier to bond. Those three scary-- I mean lovely ladies are a completely different story, individually they’re powerful but get them together and they’re unstoppable.”

Believing that things were getting too off topic as it was, Jon decided to keep things coherent.

“So, um... about Twilight did... uh, did she at least... I mean did she even try and make a connection with Zenith?” Jon asked.

“Oh she tried her hardest but even when he was a child Zenith was smart enough to realize just how out of place he was in a family of all Unicorns so he mostly kept to himself as he does most of time, even now,” Whooves answered. “Actually out of everypony in his family the one pony who Zenith really admired was his dad, Chambermane.”

“Really; why?” Jon asked. “I mean... I realize he’s his dad but wasn’t he also a Unicorn like Twilight?”

“Well yes but while his sisters learned magic from Twilight young Zenith would enjoy spending time with Chambermane who tried his best to connect with his son. Chambermane knew that what Zenith was going through was something he knew almost nothing about. As a Unicorn born in Canterlot and his family name being synonymous with other famous war ponies he knew nothing about being different,” Whooves said. “His genius was that he knew that and made it clear to his son that although he may not fully understand what he was going through that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try or stop loving him because of it.”

“If that’s the case uh, then, then, then, why didn’t Twilight try and... try and do the same thing?” Jon asked. “I mean it seems like Chambermane didn’t know what it was like for Zenith any more than Twilight did.”

“Well in the case of Twilight... to be fair Zenith never gave her a chance; to him Twilight being an all-powerful Alicorn was as far removed from himself as possible. No, he was much more loving of his father who despite being a privileged Unicorn did find ways to connect with him on a more personal level. Specifically by the fact that as a war pony he knew what it was like knowing that somewhere out there a large group of ponies despised you for seemingly no reason,” Whooves continued. “Basically his experience as a diplomat wasn’t just used during war time. He once said that his skills as a communicator were never used for greater good than when he convinced his son that he loved him for who he was. Throughout his life he used his wits to prevent wars or to win them; but his greatest feat was mediating his way into his son’s heart like no one else could.”

Much like the audience, Jon willingly stayed silent as to not interrupt Whooves’ recount of such a touching story.

“It sounds like... it sounds like his father was his only friend in that big ol’ Castle,” Jon commented.

“Sadly true. You see Zenith always found his father to be interesting and not like the rest of the ponies of the Castle. Rather than using magic Chambermane became famous for using his brain, not just on the battlefield but on the political stage as well. You don’t become a 5-star general on brawn alone so on a more intellectual level this is what Zenith admired about him most I think,” Whooves explained. “Chambermane wasn’t even that skilled at magic and he felt that his race wasn’t what identified him. He tried to encourage Zenith to do the same by following his own path and not letting anyone else dictate how he should think or act... so yes he really was the only person he could connect with growing up. The way Zenith tells me, after he’s had a few drinks, is that his fondest childhood memories were of staying up late as his dad recounted his different war victories, explaining to him about how to read maps both on earth and in the heavens, and teaching him the finer points of mediation which he would use later as an adult.”

“See that’s just... that’s good to hear,” Jon said. He was tempted to make an slew of easy jokes regarding Zenith’s idea of fondest memories but even he didn’t want to ruin this touching story. “It’s good to see... it’s good that he had a healthy relationship with uh... w-with one of his parents.”

“It’s true, the two of them were inseparable,” Whooves said. “Which makes this next part all the more tragic.”

“Oh God, more sad stories?” Jon asked.

“More sad stories,” Whooves confirmed as he leaned forward to better address his host. “You see Chambermane, much like Twilight, was considered to be an expert diplomat so he didn’t spend much time in the Castle.”

“And Zenith didn’t like this one bit I assume,” Jon pondered out loud.

“He hated it. When Zenith was born Canterlot was thankfully in a state of peace but it was still necessary for representatives of the Castle to travel to other nations to maintain that peace through summits where kingdoms either renewed treaties or tried to open trade routes and the like,” Whooves explained. “This of course meant that Chambermane, being the star ambassador, was away for long periods of time and during these trips Zenith kept to himself... now here comes the sad part I was talking about.”

Jon braced himself for what was going to come because he had a pretty good idea as to what it was.

“The decision to send ambassadors to other lands was entirely up to Twilight. She always decided who went where. Well at one point one group known as Legion requested an audience with Twilight to negotiate peace,” Whooves said. “Legion was a small nation who made a name for themselves as being a very small country who started off as a group of bandits but later grew so big they took over a neighboring nation and established a monarchy there. Overall they were known to be a corrupt bunch, with strong ties to the pony black market.”

“And Twilight didn’t want to go, right?” Jon asked.

“Actually she did, oddly enough. She believed it to be a trap but at the same time Legion was known for causing trouble for them so if their declaration of peace was true she believed that it was at least worth looking into,” Whooves answered. “But Chambermane wouldn't allow it. He thought it too dangerous and demanded that Twilight send him instead. She of course refused at first but in the end she was no match for his linguistic skills and she allowed him to pursue this mission.”

“And?” Jon asked. “W-was it a trap or not?”

“Unfortunately, yes it was. Chambermane and his squad were ambushed by Legion thugs before they could even make it to their nation,” Whooves revealed. “Sadly... this was one mission that Chambermane didn’t return home from... he was killed in the ambush.”

“Aaaaaaaaaaah, that’s... damn,” Jon moaned along with several audience members. “Poor Zenith.”

“He never really did get over the death of his father. Worse, even though going was Chambermane’s idea Zenith fully blamed Twilight for what happened since she was the one who issued the mission,” Whooves revealed. “The kingdom mourned the loss of their hero but for Twilight it was the day she lost more than just her husband.”

“Wait, who else did she lose?” Jon asked. “Do... do you mean... Zenith?”

With a sigh, Whooves shook his head and closed his eyes mournfully before recounting.

“Well like I said, Zenith convinced himself that his father’s death was entirely Twilight’s fault, so the night that word reached the Castle of his death Zenith went and confronted Twilight and the two argued over it. And by argued over it I mean he just yelled at her while she remained silent,” Whooves described. “By this point he was already not too fond of her so this was the push needed to drive his emotions to a hate-filled level. It got so bad that in a fit of blind anger he even accused her of doing it on purpose because she was jealous of him.”

“Oh that’s just not fair,” Jon commented. “I feel for the guy but that’s a low blow.”

“I... agree but... it was hard for my mentor because remember, his father was the most important pony to him,” Whooves reminded. “And of course since Chambermane was the only pony to really connect with Zenith he now felt alone and scared. From there he felt no need to continue to stay at the Castle. This is considered to be another depressing moment in Twilight’s life, because on that day Twilight lost both men in her life; her husband died, and her son ran away from the Castle to set out on his own, never to return.”

“He... he just left her?” Jon asked, getting a nod in return. “Just like that?”

“Just like that,” Whooves answered. “His last words to her on that day were ‘it should have been you who died in that ambush... not father.’”

“Wow... d-did they ever reconcile their relationship?” Jon asked.

“Sorry... but no,” Whooves answered. “For the rest of his life Zenith never forgave Twilight and continued to blame her for what happened. He would constantly refuse to meet up with her and declined every invitation to the Castle he ever received. Even to this day he refuses to speak to her let alone even speak her name... their strained relationship remained just that... forever strained. And that’s where I come in, because remember when I said Twilight hates me?”

“Yes,” Jon answered.

“Well let’s just say my involvement... didn’t help them grow any closer,” Whooves admitted. “In fact because of me... things got worse I guess you could say.”

“Again, what did you do to that woman?” Jon demanded to know. “Don’t tell me like... you were one of the guys who was with Chambemane during the ambush... or something crazy like that. Or like you were the one who convinced Zenith to leave the Castle.”

“Hey, nothing like that, he left on his own accord,” Whooves responded, “Besides, at the time Zenith was something like... a little bit younger than me; I wasn’t even born yet.”

“Says the time traveler,” Jon countered.

“Hm, touche. But no, what happens next is important to know when it comes to understanding Twilight, Zenith, and myself,” Whooves explained. “After he left the Castle Zenith went into hiding at the neighboring town of Ponyville where he would live for several years in secret and obscurity so Twilight wouldn't find him. From there he got a job working on a farm during the day and lived in a library built into a tree. His years in Ponyville were spent working the fields and writing the drafts of some of his early textbooks and documents.”

“He ran away to hide but lived in Ponyville?” Jon asked. “Twilight’s own backyard?”

“Well he went there for a very specific reason but in addition it was the best place to hide; right under her nose,” Whooves said. “Who would have thought about looking there?”

“I see... well, must have been quite a change for him,” Jon commented. “To go from living in a Castle in Canterlot to working on a farm in Ponyville.”

“It was difficult for him but that’s exactly what he wanted. He wanted to live where Earthponies did and indeed do work that was expected of Earthponies. He did this so he could know what ponies of his kind went through and as a result be closer to those he wanted to fight for; it was a humbling experience,” Whooves said. “Even something simple like candles were an eye opening experience for him. Back in the Castle he had an unlimited amount of candles to light at night so he could read his books at all hours, but in Ponyville if he wanted to write his manuscripts he needed to work extra hours in the fields to earn the money to buy them or just hope there was a full moon.”

“It really does sound like uh... like his time in Ponyville changed him,” Jon agreed. “Hopefully for the better but uh... what did he write... you said he spent his nights writing his, his, his... uh--”

“Mostly he wrote what we know now as his earliest thoughts regarding the state of Equestria, Unicorns, and those in the Castle. He wrote many self-published articles bashing the royal ponies and Unicorns who were in charge while promoting the concept of free-thought and self- governing under the fake name Solstice,” Whooves explained. “You see, by this time the royal family like Celestia, Luna, and all the other princesses had expanded their control to all corners of the world through colonies or dual governing over other cities. The first big example of this was when Princess Cadance was given the Crystal Empire.”

“And Zenith didn’t like this because?” Jon asked, the idea of an empire made of crystal not enough to distract him from this anecdote.

“Because he felt what they were doing was detrimental to the pony race as a whole. By having them govern so many major cities around the world he felt that rather than duly elected representatives and a free democracy ponies from different regions were instead having to rely on the royal family to an unhealthy degree. In one of his famous editorials he called what they were doing a more ‘diplomatic’ form of invading and conquering, he called it just as evil as what Legion did to that small nation they took over,” Whooves added to Jon who was still as enchanted by all this as the audience. “Of course the Castle responded by saying that all they were doing was reaching out and supporting less fortunate kingdoms and contributing their own culture to them but Zenith thought this was the worst thing by far. He never liked the culture of the Castle and Canterlot by extension. He believed that those in charge at Canterlot Castle were too obsessed with magic and maintaining their royal customs whereas he felt that science was a much more feasible form of power, always evolving and applicable enough that anypony could use. He felt that democracy was more of a respectful form of government rather than having no voice in who governs you. Basically Zenith felt that the individual common pony had a voice equal in volume to that of any given princess but that those at the castle were purposely keeping every pony dependant on magic so that they could stay in power, since they themselves were the strongest magic users.”

“You know... it’s shameful but as much as I agree with Zenith on some of his uh... opinions I’ve got to say it’s hard to take him seriously considering where he came from,” Jon commented with a face that suggested he did indeed regret saying what he said. “I mean what he says makes sense, do not-- don’t get me wrong, but I uh, I can’t help but feel that he’s only doing that to get back at his mom.”

“Okay... this is going to sound a bit biased since he’s my mentor but no, you’re wrong. While it’s true he didn’t like those in the Castle, least of all his own mother, his philosophical views were always the same long before his falling out with Twilight. As a colt he saw the aristocracy of Unicorns to be a mostly poisonous thing since most of them who passed through the Castle only used their power and influence for self-gratification. And those who did push for change, like the Unicorns in the Castle, promoted the kind of change that he found questionable,” Whooves defended. “And it was only when he left did he decide to do something about it, but you’re right... despite his stance he couldn't forget his origins. Even though he was born an Earthpony he did grow up as if he was a high class Unicorn so when he started sending out his letters, notes, and leaflets for the public to read he did so under an assumed name so as to not reveal who he was. He even made sure to not profit in any way from his teachings because he didn’t want a money trail that could lead back to him... which is a shame because his teachings became very popular very fast and in a short period of time everypony knew of the mysterious pony named Solstice who was promoting deviant thoughts on behalf of the common pony.”

“If they ever make a movie out of this guy... Tom Hanks would be perfect for the role!” Jon added before genuinely contributing. “So did-- and then what happened? He obviously didn’t stay in hiding forever.”

“Well after a certain point he finally worked enough and saved enough money that he decided to move back to Canterlot,” Whooves answered.

“Wait, wait, wait... he moved back to Canterlot?” Jon echoed. “I thought you said-- why would he do that? I thought the... you know between the Castle, Unicorns, his mother, and the class of ponies who lived there didn’t he hate that place?”

“Oh immensely, but he still wanted to promote his type of enlightenment to as many ponies as possible,” Whooves answered. “And the best way he thought to do this was to go to the source of all he deemed most adverse... Canterlot itself.”

“Wait so... so this guy went back to his home town... the capital of Equestria, just so he could teach-- promote his radical philosophical views which were contrary to the royal teachings?” Jon summed out. “... this guy has some serious balls!”

Adding his usual pearl of classy insight both he and Whooves then proceeded stay silent to allow the audience time to stop laughing so they may continue.

“He most certainly did. But when he arrived at Canterlot and revealed that he and Solstice were one in the same... that he had been the one who was circulating all those written drafts, he was met with fierce opposition!” Whooves revealed by slamming his hoofs on the desk for effect. “Those who agreed with him called him a hypocrite and a pretender since he himself was born into royalty and those who were against him thought the same as you did and accused him of being nothing more than a scared child lashing out at his mommy with his teachings a temper tantrum. His debut wasn’t pretty.”

“I’ve been there man... only replace trying to bring democracy and enlightened thinking with going on stage to tell penis jokes,” Jon said as the crowd laughed. “No, no, I’m uh... I’m serious my first gig was terrible... but as an entertainer I’ve learned there really is no such thing as bad publicity... I’m guessing this is what Zenith wanted all along.”

“You are correct, my mentor isn’t considered one of the smartest ponies to ever live for nothing. You see, his big reveal was done solely for the sake of drawing attention; he wanted to return and reveal himself in the biggest way possible. And what better way than for the first born son of Twilight to not only resurface after many years and allegations of him being dead but to return to Canterlot as the infamous Solstice promoting change,” Whooves said. “Needless to say, everyone all over the world was talking about this and all eyes were on him to see what would happen; just as he planned.”

The more he learned about Zenith the more he realized how comparable he was to many human philosophers who made themselves famous through the same tactic of poking the sleeping bear of authority. In this case the similarities were only just starting.

“You see, when he was in hiding that’s where most of his ideas came to fruition on paper, but because he was poor he could only afford to print out brief snippets of his ideas every now and again. In truth the wondrous ideas viewed as a clarion call to so many readers throughout those years was but 1% of what he had to offer. While in Ponyville he had ideas for so many things but lacked the funding to truly express them. That is until his arrival in Canterlot,” Whooves continued. “After the initial shock of his return he went off like a powder keg and used funding he had saved up over the years to do so. In a short year he made headlines by going into the streets and rallying endless crowds of ponies with unfiltered teachings of his ideas. While in Ponyville he had ideas for inventions that he could not afford to create, some of which anypony could use and rendered certain magical spells obsolete. His mind was so sharp he forever changed influential fields like medicine and law. He even answered mysteries of life that the Castle was still struggling to understand... you see, while he was in Ponyville he allowed his mind to accumulate so many revolutionary ideas and it was only when he returned that he allowed them to be unleashed upon the world. It was a rocky comeback but after he proved how dangerously intelligent and insightful he was the people looked to him as a hero among the ponies.”

“I’m surprised... that the people of Canterlot would be so quick to accept him afterwards,” Jon pointed out. “I mean from what you’ve told me... all his stances were against things like the Castle and Unicorns... which Canterlot is all about.”

“It’s true that not all of the residents of Canterlot were so keen to listen to him but you see he didn’t pick Canterlot just because he wanted to attack the problem at its source or just because doing so would get him the most publicity,” Whooves answered. “He did so because despite being a Unicorn dominated area there was also a large group of Earthponies as well... their positions in the city were restricted to servant, janitor, really any form of menial labor... Zenith swayed them all onto his side. As a matter of fact the whole layout of the city changed very rapidly. After his scientific influence within the city made it easier for Earthponies to find work, more and more Earthponies migrated to him and in turn he helped each and every one of them find their place. Soon Canterlot was forever changed as it was almost split in half with one side favoring magic and other representing the scientific free thinking movement that Zenith spent his entire adult life trying to start. And this change wasn’t just seen in Canterlot, more and more other cities began to shun the Castle away and instead rely on their own forms of self-sustained progress.”

Despite none of them seeing this first hand or even experiencing what it would be like the audience found it appropriate to cut off Whooves’ monologue by applauding.

“And Twilight and the Castle just allowed this to happen?” Jon said, seizing the moment to speak.

“What could she have done? What choice did she have? When Zenith returned she did try numerous times to get him to come to the Castle to talk but he always ignored her. From then on Zenith wasn’t known any longer as her son but as her political enemy,” Whooves revealed. “This was hammered home particularly when other Earthpony scientists came to support him and their combined efforts later created the Terra Equinity society I mentioned earlier. And while it didn’t happen right away their influence in the city became so great they got a seat on the committee within the Castle and the organization grew so large that its force was seen as equal to the Castle, only with Terra Equinity on the other side of the city that was a reflection of Zenith’s teachings.”

“And in fact Terra Equinity became so big that they started to add new members,” Jon reminded the audience. “Members... like you.”

“Exactly,” Whooves added while clapping his hooves. “And now... the part you’ve all been waiting for... me.”