My Little Pony Tales: Rule 63 Edition

The sun rose over Ponyland, illuminating the hills as several alarm clocks rang across the various houses. Stargleam opened his window, taking in the early morning air as doves scattered about. When he was satisfied, he set to getting ready for the day ahead.

After brushing his teeth, showering to clean his pink coat, and combing his yellow mane, Stargleam went downstairs for some breakfast. Not long after finishing his cereal, there was a honking outside. "Heartling's here! Gotta go!"

"Have fun, honey," his mother called from the other side of the ice cream shop.

"Thanks, mom, I will. See ya!" Stargleam called back, grabbing his satchel in his mouth and running outside. He opened the door to the SUV, and, seeing that the middle row of seats was already occupied, got into the area directly behind Rhapsody, Sharp Eyes, and Patch. The occupants all greeted Stargleam.

"Hey, guys," Stargleam returned, placing his things in the back where everyone else's things already were. "So, Heartling, are you ready for your first camping trip?"

"I'm not sure…"

Heartling's father chuckled and patted his son's shoulder. "Nonsense, son! You'll be just fine. Don't you want to be able to join your friends for fun activities?"

"I guess so…"

Stargleam took a headcount of everyone inside. "So we still need to pick up Trefoil and Babar."

"Of course! Here's Trefoil's house." Heartling's father stopped outside and honked.

Everyone waited, and grew increasingly more impatient. Heartling's father considered the option of honking again, but fortunately, he didn't need to do that, because a lavender pony came out, his pink mane billowing behind him as he hurriedly ran with a toothbrush in his mouth. He tripped over, then picked himself back up and finally got inside the SUV.

As Trefoil budged up next to Stargleam, he swallowed the toothpaste-infused saliva in his mouth.

"Uh, Trefoil, you do know that's bad for you if you swallow it, right?" Stargleam pointed out.

"No," Trefoil replied. "Thanks for the tip."

Next stop, Babar's house. Babar proved to be more punctual when it came to joining the group, although he was holding a paper bag and munching on a cookie.

"Well. Glad to see someone had a nutritious, balanced breakfast," Sharp Eyes snarked as Babar sat next to Trefoil.

"Breakfast? Where are we going for breakfast?" Babar asked, perking up.

Everyone laughed as the SUV departed for its destination.

"I brought music!" Rhapsody declared, holding up a cassette. "The newest Rockin' Beats album. Available at all good retailers for ten jangles plus state tax. Oh, and Stargleam? I'm going to need some royalties off you for playing my songs in your ice cream parlor."

"Forget it."

The vehicle pulled up outside the woods. Everyone went to get their things from the trunk, but Heartling's father pulled Babar aside for a talk. "Now then, Babar," he said. "Just to be sure you understand. What's the proper protocol for when you feel sick in the car?"

"Open the window and throw up?"

"No." Heartling's father shook his head. "That's what I'm teaching you not to do. You tell the driver so they can pull over or give you a bag. Doing it out the window is liable to cause crashes if your vomit lands on somebody's windscreen."

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Now then, let's get this camping trip started!"

Babar nodded before grabbing his satchel and following his friends.

While Sharp Eyes was putting up the tent, Patch was building the campfire. Babar opened his satchel and rummaged around. "Uh oh… guys, I think my mom forgot to pack the s'more ingredients."

"She didn't. I brought those," Rhapsody said, holding up his satchel. "You think we'd let you carry the s'more ingredients after last time? Oh, and Heartling, I brought that soda you like so much."

"Thanks, Rhapsody." Heartling accepted the large bottle and set to pouring himself a drink.

That night, leaves flew around in the wind while trees swayed. In the woods, Trefoil was acting things out while his six friends were left guessing.

"It's a movie!" Rhapsody called.

"What's the first word?" Babar asked.

Trefoil pointed at the sky.

"Sky? Cloud?" Rhapsody guessed.

"No, neither of those," Trefoil said.

"Trefoil, you're not supposed to talk," Heartling pointed out.

"I forgot…" Trefoil then tapped his rear hoof on the ground twice.

"I know! Stamp!" Patch said.

"Stomp!" Heartling suggested.

"Two! The number two!" Sharp Eyes said.

"Oh! Godfather Part Two!" Babar called.

"Maybe the title is two words long," Sharp Eyes suggested. "Oh, or two syllables! Is it Airplane?"

"Yes, that's it, that's it!" Trefoil confirmed, jumping for joy.

"If you're done playing charades, you boys want to get started on the s'mores?" Heartling's father suggested, lighting the campfire.

So the seven friends all went to sit around the campfire. While Babar was walking Heartling through the process of making s'mores, Patch had a sockpuppet on his hoof. "Alright, children, there will be no s'mores and no sleeping until everyone has finished their homework!" he spoke, imitating Mr. Hackney to the best of his ability. "Is that perfectly clear?"

"Hey, come on, Patch, lay off the teacher," Stargleam said.

"Of course Mr. Teacher's Pet is gonna say that," Patch scoffed. "I don't suppose you have anything more fun to do."

"What about telling scary stories?" Rhapsody suggested.

"Scary?" Heartling asked. "I don't know if I like that idea…"

"Heartling, this is a part of camping trips," Stargleam pointed out. "It's a lot less fun without those."

"Well…"

His friends leaned in waiting for his answer.

"Well… okay then," Heartling conceded.

"Good! I'll tell one." Patch cleared his throat, then turned on his flashlight and held it beneath his chin, pointing it upward. "A long time ago… a very long time ago… there lived a pony who went camping in the woods. But he was abducted from his tent by another pony wearing a ski mask who then hacked him to death!"

Patch noticed that Babar wasn't paying attention, more focused on eating his s'more. Time to go nuclear.

"And then," Patch said. "At the murdered pony's funeral, the buffet was cancelled!"

Babar screamed as he threw his s'more in the air in surprise. Fortunately, he managed to catch it in his mouth.

Heartling was shaking, slowly looking back at the trees with a disturbed expression, but the remaining four ponies didn't seem all that perturbed by the story.

"You're gonna have to try harder than that, Patch," Rhapsody remarked.

"Just you wait," Patch warned. "You shall rue the day you failed to quiver in fe-" Just then, his flashlight went off. He opened it up, replaced the batteries, then turned it back on. "Ahem. You shall rue the day you failed to quiver in fear at the deeds of the Six Hundred and Sixty Sixth Serial Killer!"

Rhapsody had left to go to the bathroom while everyone else was settling down, preparing to go to sleep.

While everyone else lay idly, Sharp Eyes was still awake, shining a flashlight on his book so he could read. After about half an hour, he took note of the fact that Rhapsody still hadn't returned. This was a cause for concern. He nudged Stargleam.

"Ungh…" Stargleam rubbed his eyes. "What…?"

"Rhapsody's not back yet," Sharp Eyes. "He went out ages ago."

Stargleam looked around. Sure enough, everyone was here except Rhapsody. "You think we should wake Heartling's dad up?" he suggested. "Not Heartling, though. He'll break out into a cold sweat if he thinks the Six Hundred and Sixty Sixth Serial Killer's on the loose."

"The Six Hundred and Sixty Sixth Serial Killer?!"

Stargleam and Sharp Eyes groaned in unison, watching their friend as his teeth chattered. "Heartling, there's no such thing," Stargleam told him.

"Where's Rhapsody?!"

"He, uh… you just missed him, he only just now went to the bathroom," Sharp Eyes fibbed.

"Oh." Heartling looked a little antsy. "I need to go, too… but I'm scared…"

Sharp Eyes groaned. "Fine. Stargleam and I will come with you. Right, Stargleam?"

"Of course." Stargleam nodded. "Let's go."

The trio walked further into the woods while Sharp Eyes shone his flashlight in front of them.

Heartling gasped when he heard a noise resembling a pony running through the woods. "What was that?!"

"I'm sure it was just another camper," Stargleam said. "Probably got a bad case of the trots to be running that fast. I know shapes may seem fearful in the night, but things aren't always what they seem, okay, Heartling?"

Eventually, they found a suitably secluded area, away from any other tents. "Is this a good spot, Heartling?" Stargleam asked.

"Mhm." Heartling nodded. "Just look away, please."

Just then, they were interrupted by a blood-curdling scream sounding eerily like Rhapsody, much to their shock and horror.

"Rhapsody?!" Stargleam went running in the direction of the sound, with the other two following, although Heartling was a bit more reluctant about it.

Sharp Eyes moved his flashlight around, eventually stopping when he found a most horrid sight. It was Rhapsody, sprawled out on the ground belly-down, motionless, with dark red liquid pooling beneath him. "G...guys?" he quietly said. "You might wanna come see this…"

His two friends came up behind him, and horror washed over their faces at the sight of Rhapsody. "RHAPSODY!" Heartling screamed.

While Heartling was whimpering and breathing erratically, failing to maintain any sort of composure while taking a few steps back, Stargleam, though not totally calm himself, understandably, anxiously approached Rhapsody. "D-don't panic, guys, maybe he's still alive but unconscious! We need to call 911 and-"

But just then, a figure jumped out. Sharp Eyes reflexively shone his light at the figure, and saw a pony clad in leather with a ski mask covering their head. No… it couldn't be…

The masked pony took out a rather large knife from a holster on their leather clothing. The three boys all ran away screaming, with the only goal on their minds being to escape the killer at any cost.

Patch took off his mask. "Okay, Rhapsody, you can get up now."

Rhapsody stood up. "We got ‘em good, didn't we?" he remarked, smirking.

"We sure did, prankster partner… I just hope that hot sauce isn't too bad for the ground."

"Or my fur," Rhapsody agreed. He couldn't see it in the dark, but he couldn't imagine it looked good on his lovely magenta coat.

It wasn't long before light shone in their direction. Heartling's father appeared, holding a flashlight. "What's going on?!" he demanded. "I heard screaming!"

Babar appeared behind him. "I was awoken by the smell of hot sauce! I want some!"

Trefoil was the last one to appear.

"...What's your reason?" Patch asked. But then he noticed that Trefoil's eyes were closed. This obviously meant Trefoil was simply sleepwalking. "...Never mind."

Heartling's father shone his light at Rhapsody and saw him dripping with some kind of red liquid. "Rhapsody! Are you hurt?!"

"It's hot sauce," Rhapsody clarified. "For a prank. Just in case you're wondering where Heartling, Stargleam, and Sharp Eyes are."

Shortly after that, Stargleam and Sharp Eyes saw the five ponies and approached them. "Guys!" Stargleam yelled. "The story was real! The killer in Patch's…" He paused when he saw that not only was Rhapsody alive and well, but Patch was stood there, wearing leather clothes. It did not take long in the slightest for Stargleam and Sharp Eyes to put together the pieces.

"You bastards," Sharp Eyes snarled. "I hope you're happy with yourselves."

"Yeah!" Babar exclaimed. "I can't believe you'd waste such high-quality hot sauce!"

"Where's my son?" Heartling's father asked.

"He's probably hiding somewhere," Sharp Eyes figured.

After ten or so minutes of everybody searching, they had found Heartling hiding in a ditch, shaking uncontrollably. After an explanation of what was really going on, and reassurance that there was no killer on the loose (at least not here), everyone was making their way back to their site.

When they got there, Heartling's dad spoke very sternly to Patch and Rhapsody. "You two have ruined Heartling's first camping trip," he informed them. "It’ll be a miracle if he ever wants to go again. As such, you two are banned from any future camping trips with him. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir…" Patch said, dejected.

"Sure," Rhapsody said. "Anyway, not sure if this is a bad time, but did you want to buy a copy of the newest Rockin' Beats album? I’m discounting it from ten to nine jangles as an apology."