My Dog Is An Alicorn, And Now She Lives With Me
“Well... this is your new home, I guess. Make yourself comfortable.”
I twisted the key in the lock to my house and stepped inside. The shelter people were happy to finally give this little girl a home, although I had my, uh... apprehensions? Reservations, that’s the word. I thrust my wallet and my keys onto the little dish by the door and ran a hand over my head, and I couldn’t help but notice that my ‘new best friend’ hadn’t followed me in yet.
I turned and watched her as she lowered her muzzle to the ground and sniffed suspiciously, unsure of this new thing called a doorway and the Great Beyond, aka my house. Which was now her house. The shiny red collar around her neck jingled loosely with movement, and the gold tag with her name bounced off of her chest as she suddenly pulled her head up and pricked her ears forwards.
“Celestia?” I said, holding my hand out to her to sniff. “It’s okay. C’mere sweetie. This is home now, yeah?”
As her eyes focused on me, what I can only assume was a smile began to spread across her face. She barked, as in, said the word ‘bark’ and bounced forwards, tackling me to the ground and smothering me with doggy kisses.
“Ahh! Stop! Down girl! Sit!” I laughed, trying to push her off. When I realised she was a lot stronger than I had originally anticipated my eyes began to bulge and my chest began to heave. “Cel--please--off of dad!”
She giggled and let up. Yeah. Giggled. My dog can giggle. That wasn’t my first clue this dog wasn’t a dog, though, but those shelter guys had silver tongues the lot of them, I swear.
Her... voice, I guess, if I had to describe it was... regal. Very posh, very well spoken. I hadn’t actually heard her speak at all, though, just say dog noises. If she did that would be cool. Very cool indeed.
My five foot, wing-having, horn-having, horse-looking pegacorn--alicorn, I think the technical term is, although I wouldn’t know what that is in Latin, dog sniffed the air again and trotted forwards into the house.
I was starting to regret my life choices as Celestia bounded forwards and began to rub herself all over the furniture, accidentally--at least I hope accidentally--ripping a hole in one cushion with her horn. I groaned quietly. “Menace...” I muttered.
I’d always been the weird kid. And then the weird guy, but this just takes the cake. Why did I choose her? Beats me, I saw her and said to myself ‘yes that is the one, alright’.
Besides, if you saw a large horse-dog sitting there in the pound with big, wide eyes and looking kind of worried, wouldn’t you wanna take her home? Course you would, unless you’re Mr. Boring of Boringville, who’s just been appointed Professor of Boring at Oxford University.
I leaned against the wall and watched as Celestia planted her nose to the ground and sniffed around, inspecting every nook and cranny of her new abode. I smiled and chuckled to myself. “You like it here, girly?” I said.
She looked up at me and nodded. “Bark!” she said happily.
That is weird, says I to myself. How she just says bark. Eh. Well. She’s a weird looking dog, after all. It would make sense she makes weird noises.
I reached into the bag beside me and pulled out a small rubber chicken. I squeaked it, and Celestia froze. Her head slowly turned like something out of the Shining, and her eyes shrank to pinpricks. I looked at the chicken in my hand, then at her.
And squeaked it again.
Like a small tornado, her wings beat and she flew towards me, sending a huge gust of wind billowing through my house.
“Wahh!” I cried as I toppled over backwards.
There was a twinkling noise and I stopped falling. I looked around and saw that the world was on a 45 degree angle. Puzzled, as I should have fallen and hit my head on the ground, I twisted and saw a strange glow around my hands and my arms.
“What the?” I murmured. And that’s when I saw her. Celestia’s horn was glowing with the same golden glow. Her eyes sparkled and the chicken hung from her mouth. She looked guilty, almost, and lay it down at my side as she then lay me down.
I blinked and smiled. “Thanks, Celestia,” I said, reaching out to her. She pushed her face into my hand and licked my finger. “I’m okay. You caught me, you menace,” I chortled.
“Bark!”
I smiled at her smiling face and stood up. “Alright,” I said. “Time for the grand tour...”
Celestia grabbed her squeaky toy and trotted along beside me, looking at everything I pointed to curiously. It felt like I was showing an actual person around my house instead of my dog.
But that’s just crazy right? I mean, my dog is an alicorn, but she’s still a dog, right?
Right?
***
Celestia opened one eye and looked around.
The moon was high in the sky and all throughout the house, only she stirred--as quiet as a mouse.
Her mane, still flowing and as ethereal as ever, spilled down around her in her basket as she slowly and quietly stood up. “Easy now, Tia,” she whispered as she crept along the ground, taking the daintiest of steps on the kitchen floor as not to cause a disturbance. “Where was Dad’s room? Oh right, at the end of the hall and on the left.”
She tittered quietly to herself. Becoming a dog wasn’t exactly what she had in mind when she left Equestria, but oh my how much fun she was having. And Dad was a great guy too, beyond great, actually. Very loving and affectionate. That’s where she was going now, you see: creeping along to sneak into his bedroom and steal some midnight cuddles, despite his no dog on the bed policy.
The chance to simply let loose and let somebody else do the worrying was great. Fantastic. Wonderful, even. Retiring was the best idea she ever had, and Luna had her own projects going on as a result. It wasn’t like she was stuck here on Earth, after all, either. But why would she leave? To be here was to be in paradise. Free from stress, and worry, and with nopony else around she was free to do whatever she wanted, and--and--Equestria didn’t have Dad.
She began to hum, so happy was she, as she thought about Dad. The best human in the world--her human in fact. The other dogs in the pound were sure to get good humans of course, but they would all pale in comparison to him.
She stopped. “The other dogs?” she murmured, before quickly breaking out into a series of giggles. She took a minute to calm and compose herself. The sound of snoring made her ear twitch and her heart swell with joy. She licked her lips and continued to creep, pushing his bedroom door open with her nose.
Celestia quickly and quietly scurried over to the side of the bed and hopped up.
“Hnnnn...” Dad groaned in his sleep and turned over. The alicorn flattened herself and wished she had mastered that invisibility spell. When she was convinced he was still asleep, she crept further up he bed and lay down beside him, watching his sleeping, snoring face.
“Night night, Dad,” she whispered as loudly as she dared, and licked his hand on the pillow before turning around and settling in for a good night’s sleep. Her chest rose and fell steadily, and as her eyelids began to droop she felt one of his hands reach around over her.
“Mm... puppy...” he mumbled dreamily.
Celestia beamed with joy and closed her eyes. Sleep came soon after, as did many happy dreams.
Author's Note
This is a such a shitpost, I'm sorry. I saw the animation and couldn't help myself 
Check it out here:
My Dog Celestia - YouTube
