Author's Note

Another shorty for today. Enjoy!

15. - Bed Bug

Sergeant Hokey Pokey sighed as he shut his front door, casually tossing his helm onto the nearby entryway table. “Chrysalis?” he called out, looking through the day’s mail. “You better not be stealing any love.”

“Ah, you’re home. Good,” Chrysalis replied, making Pokey jump slightly. “Come over here. I have something for you.”

Pokey took a long moment to study the odd, oblong-shaped pod that now occupied the space where his couch had been. It could almost pass as a princess-size bed, and The Queen of the Changeling Hordes was perched atop it like a large cat waiting to pounce on unsuspecting prey.

“What did you do?” he asked, touching the pod cautiously.

“It’s a present for you, my sweet Hokey,” she said with a devious expression.

“You’re not going to stuff me in it, are you?”

“What? No. That would ruin it, and it took me all day to get this thing into the right shape. I want you to sit on it. With me.”

“Sit on it?”

“What’s the matter, Sergeant? Scared?”

Pokey knew better than to show weakness to Chrysalis. “Of course not.” He hopped up, and took a moment to adjust to the liquid-like surface. “So, what’s this for, then?”

“It’s my latest, most brilliant idea to date: a gel bed!” Chrysalis proclaimed with glee. “The perfect combination of soft and firm, and nearly indestructible. Ponies will never need another bed ever again!”

Pokey evaluated the queen with no shortage of confusion. It wasn’t so much the fact that she had created yet another changeling pod—she had created more than a dozen of them during her time with him, not including the batch she’d put together for the haunted house that one Nightmare Night.

Rather, it was the fact that she’d created something that looked and smelled like an oversized jelly-filled maple bar doughnut and was proud of it.

Granted, she was always proud of herself and her petulant little schemes, but this was on another level entirely.

“Okay. Why did you create such a weird thing?” he finally asked, dreading the response.

“Simple, really. Ponies will buy my new bed. They’ll fall in love with how much better they’re sleeping. Then, I can swipe that love, making the whole harvesting process quick and deception free. It’s brilliant. Brilliant, I tell you! Downright genius!!”

“No pony is going to buy a changeling pod. Especially one that’s so weird.”

“Do you really have such little faith in me?” Chrysalis pouted. “Fine. I’ll tell you what. You sleep on it tonight, with me. Then, if you don’t have the most amazing night of sleep ever, I’ll… do something. But that doesn’t matter, because you’ll love it.”

“Sleep on it? With you?” He questioned, one eyebrow sliding into his mane.

“Of course, you twit. That’ll prove it can handle the weight of even Sunbutt, and that your sleep won’t be disturbed by me, your ravishingly beautiful special somebuggy. Unless you want me to disturb you,” she cooed, flashing a fang-filled smile at him.

“So, this whole mess is just a ploy to get into bed with me?”

“No!” she said unconvincingly. “Well, maybe. A little. But it’s mostly for evil, love-stealing purposes!”

“Fine, fine.” Pokey knew by now, once a mania like this took Chrysalis over, there was nothing in Equestria that could stop it. “One night. That’s all.”

Chrysalis let out a squee of delight, clapped her forehooves, and lit her horn. In a flash, Pokey found himself bundled in a blanket with Chrysalis, with a table filled with a succulent selection of fruits and desserts before them. Suddenly, the only light left on came from a few candles, strategically placed for maximum romantic effect, and he sighed as Chrysalis nibbled his neck.

“There. Isn’t this nice?” she soothed softly, and almost eagerly.

Pokey wiggled a bit, took in the atmosphere, and allowed himself to relax. “To be honest, it actually is. Thank you, Chrissy.”

“And don’t forget it, either. Now then. I, Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings, do grant you permission to start hoof-feeding me those grapes. One at a time, if you please.”

“I loathe you,” Pokey stated, the corners of his mouth twitching up.

“And I loathe you too,” Chrysalis replied with a kiss to his nose.

* * ✹ * *