My conversation with my new boss takes up a fair amount of the day. Truth be told, being on the moon makes it very hard to keep track of the time, and it’s not like ponies wear watches or anything. I had to keep turning my head around to see the location of the sun, just to be sure I was on track with my work.

“Everything alright, dear?” Luna asks me, concerned that I am considering defecting her position.

“Yes, Luna. I just lost track of the time, and it would be nice to have a watch or something. I was looking at the sun to figure out what time it is.” I reply, to which Luna blinks, emitting light from her horn. I feel something on my front left hoof.
“Here you go, Noah. One watch, adjusted to Equestrian Standard Time. Hope this helps! You might be still interested in why I have taken a great fascination with your race, correct?”

I actually did want to know more, but I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be doing any more work on our plan of taking over Equestria. “Don’t you want to know about Din Rodef, and how that could be used to usurp Celestia’s position?” I ask Luna, who just looks at me dead in the eye and smiles.

“Yes, I know about that law in Sanhedrin 73a. It could be a good avenue for our plans. Very clever of you, my boy! I just want to get to know you a bit first before we go crazy with plotting a coup. I mean, I have known many of your race’s smartest men and women, but I have never gone as far to take a pupil before. Would you like to know why?” Luna asks me rhetorically since she probably would tell me anyways.

“Sure, boss. I don’t see why not.” I say, imagining that I have a warm cup of tea at my disposal. To my surprise, I am holding a cup of lemon tea in my hooves.

“Ah, I see you have quickly learned matter manipulation. Impressive! Most unicorns take years to hone this ability. You are a natural!” Luna says, before projecting a map of Earth on the wall of her lunar citadel, with pinpoints in key locations on Earth.

“Anyways, I have always been a different pony. You see, my sister Celestia wanted to be worshipped like a god, and made sure that everyone in Equestria treated her as such. She was tasked with raising the sun, and I was given the moon. No one appreciated the peace and tranquility that the night brings, and only wanted to spend time in the day. I felt insulted, and I asked my sister, nicely at first, if I could be treated with more respect. Her ego got the better of her, and she told me to leave. I was furious!” Luna says, her voice a bit more raspy than usual.

“I was so mad that I refused to lower the moon when the day was to begin. Naturally, this pissed off my sister, and we fought. She used these cursed artifacts called the Elements of Harmony to banish me to the moon for 1000 years. I just wanted respect! Now, here’s where things get interesting for you, Noah. Your race has had a rather similar trajectory. Humiliation and suffering for the audacity to be different, and to want to live their own lives. Combined with their dedication to their history, tradition, and knowledge, the Hebrews have done quite well for themselves. Naturally, when Celestia wanted to take a vacation to Earth while I was just figuring out how to travel there, she let her megalomania get the better of her, and was worshipped as a god on Earth as well, think Shamash in Mesopotamia, and Helios in Greece. They didn’t realize she was a female and depicted her as a male warrior. Celestia didn’t care much, as long as they paid tribute.” Nightmare Moon sighed, took a minute to compose herself, and continued to explain her alleged relation to my people.

“I actually wanted to confront Celestia in Ur, Chaldea about this, where I met Abraham by chance. He was the least fazed by meeting a talking magical alicor, and respected me for who I am. He invited me into his tent and fed me some delicious food! That pita bread was marvelous! He explained to me that he was mad that his family worshipped silly idols and that he discovered a more important metaphysical presence in the universe.”

“Elohim!” I say, remembering my Creator.

“Bingo, Noah! I actually sensed this presence myself but did not want to make a fuss in a different reality. I did, however, tell Abraham about Equestria, and the danger my sister poses to both realities. He quickly took a hammer and ran to his father’s idol shop, breaking every idol his father owned, including plenty of my sister’s image. This really made Celestia mad, so she appeared to the king of that settlement to have him thrown into a furnace. I acted brazenly and used some of my magic to save his life, making him immune to fire during his time in the fiery pit. The king thought his brother used magic to save him and threw him inside the pit. Sadly, I couldn’t save him in time. Abraham was amazed that I took the time to save his life, and I also made a deal with him. I would always watch over and protect his progeny, since he stood up to my sister and her ego. In return, Abraham would promise to always follow his tradition of belief in Elohim, and fight idol worship. I don’t want to be worshipped, Noah, just respected. There is a fine line.”

“Okay, that is a nice version of Bereshis Rabba 38, with the Nimrod and the Furnace, but what does that have to do with picking me as your pupil?” I ask Nightmare Moon, who just takes a minute to let this information get processed.

“Well, it’s funny you asked that. I had to wait for human civilization to progress enough that the concepts of magic could be understood by humans. Your Hebrew people were very quick to catch onto the occult, and made sure that only the most learned could access it, lest they go insane. I had to find the right candidate to make my pupil, and I also had to wait until the 1000 Equestrian years came to a close. We are only 18 Earth months away from the end of my sentence, so it’s not like I could time travel or anything to cherry pick my favorite Hebrews!” Luna says, laughing.

“Hold on. If you were always watching my people, where the hell were you during the Shoah?!” I ask, quickly realizing that she could have used magic to save millions of innocent lives.

“I am quite powerful, but not omnipotent. I can’t just wish away everything bad in the world. Besides, Celestia was helping the Axis powers anyways, since Hitler was a big fan of hers.” Luna says, disgusted at the thought of her sister working with such scum of the Earth.

“Well, you could’ve just told me that when you “selected” me, and I would have signed up without a fight!” I say, eager to exact revenge on behalf of my fallen brethren in Europe.

“I had to accustom you slowly, Noah! Too much all at once would have sent a poor colt like you into shock. Hey. I have an idea!” Luna said, quickly teleporting both of us to the lunar surface.

“I have tested your mental capabilities quite well, but you need to be well rounded, Noah. I challenge you to single combat, dear. Don’t hold back! I won’t be!” Luna says, beginning to power up, with a cosmic purple aura surrounding her.

Wait, did she just say I need to fight her? I put my tea down, and take a minute to compose myself.

“Woah, woah! Hold on. I have never fought anyone in my life. You are probably going to kick my ass. How do I even have a chance?” I ask Luna, who is in a fighting stance.

“I turned you into a unicorn. That means you have magic. Figure it out. Good luck!” Luna says, charging at me full speed, with her wings aimed at me like razor blades.

I begin to pray, “Master of the Universe, give me the strength to hold my own in this fight. I don’t want to die. If what Nightmare Moon says is true, you have every reason to help me prepare for this coming conflict in 18 months. Give me the strength of the heroes of Israel.”

“Like a prayer to your Elohim will help you, Noah. I know He is real, but He only helps those who help themselves!” Luna says, inches away from my body, eager to attack.

I don’t know how, or why, but I managed to power up myself, with a cyan aura, crackling with electricity forming around me. I backflip, avoiding the attack, grabbing Nightmare Moon’s left wing, throwing her to the floor.

“Woah! Where did you learn that?” Luna asks me, as I try to charge some sort of magical attack.

“Too late, kid!” Nightmare Moon says, using her telekinesis to hold me in place while charging a lunar beam.

“I hope I can get myself out of this one. I need to be like King David right now, fighting the mighty Goliath.” I say to myself, trying uselessly to escape her telepathic grasp.

Author's Note

AUTHOR’S NOTE:
GLOSSARY:

Sanhedrin: Tractate in the Babylonian Talmud; also the Supreme Court of Jewish Law in the time of the Temple.

Din Rodef: A concept in Jewish law, which argues that one who is "pursuing" another to murder him or her. Such a person must be killed by any bystander after being warned to stop and refusing. In the case of Nightmare Moon and Princess Celestia, Celestia’s megalomania, combined with Luna’s plea to stop and leave her alone calls for this extrajudicial murder to be sanctioned.

Bereshis Rabba: Homiletic interpretation of the Book of Genesis. The story of Abraham breaking the idols, being sent in the furnace, and being saved by G-d is in this book (Bereshis Rabba, 38).

Shoah: Hebrew term for the Holocaust.