Twilight's saddle lecture

It’s not always easy being the single human in Equestria, but yesterday’s incident with Twilight proved beyond doubt it can be amazing.

The towel on your side bore witness to your recent attempt to relive yesterday’s action by your own hand. Now with the morning boner out of the way it was time to eat. You pull up your pants and walk down to the kitchen.

As you step inside the big kitchen, you see a bunch of mares around the kitchen table. They put down their teacups as they look at you with poorly concealed curiosity.

“Good morning, Anon!” Twilight says, followed by similar statements from her five best friends.

Twilight sure seems happy to see you, and no complaints about sleeping in. That’s a first!

Applejack looks flabbergasted in response to Twilight’s words. “Morning!? He slept until now? It’s almost noon!”

“Maybe he was exhausted from yesterday?” Twilight coyly suggests.

“I bet he was.” Rainbow Dash snickers.

Applejack regains her relaxed expression as she asks, “You should tell us again how it happened. Do a recap now when Anon is here.”

The Element of Truth had doubts regarding Twilight’s story. In the heat of passion, the truth could vary with point of view. Gathering all involved, in full honesty, will always reveal the full truth.

“Ahem, I went to his room to educate him about cultural saddles, and during my lecture Anon stepped closer to examine it. While I was teaching him the details it was obvious he became more and more aroused, and those fingers of his stopped analyzing the saddle, and started to inspect my body instead.”

Twilight revels in the attention she gets. She loves to teach but not everypony wants to learn. Now they cling to every word she says.

“I decided to ignore it and continue my explanation about the saddle and its place in our culture. But after a while he couldn’t contain himself anymore. He let all the pony-manners I’ve taught him be swept away, as his animal instincts took over. He didn’t even bother to explain himself, as his long arms grabbed me and hauled me off to his bed.”

She uses her hooves to lift the teacup to her mouth in a theatrical movement, and the sound of a long deep slurp fills the pause in her story.

“While standing on the bed I kept trying to explain the details about the saddle, but I doubt he heard a word I said. Before I knew it, his fleshy penis was inside me and pumped vigorously... to claim me, as his mare.”

As she speaks, Twilight floats a cookie through the air, pointing it at her audience in a sweeping motion, before she closes her eyes, and pushes it in between her lips.

“And let me tell you this, he was no triple-stroke stallion, he must have rubbed that meat of his a hundred times before he released his treasure.”

“A hundred?!” Rainbow Dash interrupts. “That’s impossible. Dickskin is sensitive, that’s why it must be sheathed. He would be all chafed if that was true.”

She jump-glides from her seat at the table, and lands in front of you.
“Let me check!” she says, as she grabs your belt and tries to undo the knot you use as belt buckle.

“Please don’t!” you yell, “I just want breakfast!” you add while defending your belt with your hands.

“Let poor Anon eat,” Twilight interrupts. “He did spend a huge amount of energy yesterday and needs to recover.”

You mumble a thank you before grabbing eggs, milk, dried fruit and some oats for a decent cereal. With Pinkie visiting there should be pastries lying around, unless those gluttonous mares consumed it all. You decide to search for it as soon as they’re gone.

“I can’t say for sure how many strokes it was, but I’m quite confident there were a lot more than any stallion in Ponyville has ever performed.”

“But...” Twilight adds with a raised hoof. “They were very fast. Much, much faster than a normal penetration. It wasn’t like a stallion slouch who takes a break to grunt in your ear after each stroke.”

“As quick as a dog?” Fluttershy looks at Twilight with big eyes, almost in shock.

“I can’t say for sure, I just don’t have your experience. And I didn’t count beats per minute.”

“I’ve seen different speeds at the farm, the smaller the animal, the faster it goes...” Applejack says, and falls silent before continuing, “Is that impregnation stick of his... very small?”

“No, I believe it was just big as any other stallion. With a slight curvature in the shape.” Twilight shrugs her shoulders.

Her scientific nature was back and she didn’t want to claim something false. It had felt huge and looked bigger than most, but she wanted to measure it before saying something she would later have to retract.

“You said he always protects it with clothes since he can’t sheath it. We can measure it now?”
Rainbow Dash once again jumps out from her chair, to daringly do what needs to be done, to uncover the human secret.

“You can’t! It shrinks when not in use. You would have to interrupt him while he’s performing to measure it.”

Rarity coughs politely to intercept the discussion with a suggestion of her own.
“I know you have a measuring stick, but I can fetch a measuring tape suitable for curved objects?”

“It’s not that curved!” Twilight sighs. “I clearly need to make charts and graphs for you to understand.”

“To heck with those, I want first hoof experience!” Rainbow Dash says, as the predator close in on you.

“Rainbow Dash!!” – Twilight’s stern yell interrupts the blue mare’s actions.

“Thank you, Twilight.” you respond out of reflex.

“You need to wear a cultural saddle. It’s the only way his libido can recognize a willing partner.”

You try and mumble something about how that’s not entirely true, but your voice is drowned out by a loud groan from Rainbow Dash, followed by her vexed voice.

“And where in Tartarus do you think I keep a saddle? I’m a Wonderbolt for crying out loud! Stallions stand in line for a chance to mount me. I don’t need a saddle!”

“Here! You can borrow mine!” Twilight says, with a happy smile as she uses her magic to grab the saddle she used during today’s ‘Show & Tell’.

Rainbow Dash gets hold of it as soon as it gets out from under the table, and starts strapping herself in.

“Here, let me help you with that, sugarcube.” Applejack says, as Rainbow Dash struggles with the different straps. “Pegasi need to think of it as a yoke and not a saddle; to keep the wings free.”

“Saddle announcing is demeaning.” Rainbow Dash grunts. “If I unzip my spandex and wink, stallions salute so fast you’ll see a sonic dickboom between their legs. I don’t need a saddle.”

“And not only that, I’m strong enough to get my partner to join the mile-high club even with their wings locked-up from excitement. A super-sexy-strong pegasus like me is the finest trophy in Cloudsdale. I’m no ordinary Wonderbolt, I’m a Wonderbreed! Just like Spitfire.”

Rarity had a perplexed look on her face as she caught the princess attention.
“My darling Twilight! You make it sound as his pumping speed was a good thing? But isn’t it better to really enjoy the feeling of being filled, and exchange a loving word of devotion before the next incursion?”

“It’s difficult to explain but I think the high speed helped overload the nerves.”

“I think so too...” Fluttershy mumbles but only Pinkie sitting next to her hears it. It doesn’t stop Pinkie from rewarding the shy pegasus with an encouraging pat on the head.

“Dear Twilight, I’m not saying you’re inexperienced, but perhaps you have yet to meet a stallion who combines love and romance in your bed, to show you the pinnacle of making love? You can’t use Big Mac as a reference for true lovemaking.”

“Hey!” Applejack’s sour voice interferes.

“I’ve... never been intimate with Big Macintosh.” Twilight huffed.

“It’s true!” Applejack adds.

“I thought all of us had been with Big Mac? So we can discuss our experience with a mutual reference.” Rarity drops her jaw in surprise, touching her cheek with her hoof to amplify the effect.

“Well, I haven’t,” Twilight says. “I just don’t want to interrupt you when you make your assumptions. I’m sure I got a good picture from it as you often enough mix in ‘compared to Big Mac’ when retelling events.”

Twilight looks miffed. Rarity and Fluttershy glance at each other. Pinkie Pie just smiles. Pinkie rarely interrupts discussions about sex. Sex is fucking serious and Pinkie found it hard to be serious. She giggles to herself... finding it hard... she snorts a little and keeps smiling.

They all knew the bookhorse’s sexual experience was a sensitive topic, and they never centered their discussion on Twilight. With Twilight’s invitation to talk about her human adventure, Rarity had been unusually candid with Twilight.

“I’m sorry darling, your experience with the human was absolutely riveting, so I just wanted to hear more. But please don’t let me push you. You should only let us know when you’re ready.”

Rarity leans towards Twilight, for a comforting buss on her cheek, to emphasize her consolatory intentions.

Twilight composes herself and puts on a smug smile, as she addresses everyone in the room.
“A few days from now you will all get the opportunity to see me mounted in the glade of passion.”

All jaws drop except Pinkie’s. Applejack and Rainbow Dash also stops adjusting the saddle.

“During the heat of passion, Anon forced me to make a vow, that I will let him and whatever stallions he selects, breed me in every village and town in Equestria. The first stop will be here, but he will escort me all over Equestria.”

Your main focus was on your breakfast at the kitchen counter. Ignoring the mares around the table. Now you realize they weren’t up to their usual gossip of horsy fantasies and revelations. You stop chewing your cereal to look at them.

Applejack sensed Twilight’s words wasn’t entirely accurate and turned to look at you. “You forced her to make a vow?”

“No!! I just talked about a science project–”

“Science is serious business!” Twilight’s angry voice interrupts you. “So making plans for extensive research is a promise to science, and I’m forced to help in my dedication to knowledge.”

“Well, Ah have no problems believing that.” Applejack says.

“In public?” Fluttershy says with big eyes.

“Yes, cultural saddles in the old day was very much about gathering the community’s attention in order to get a large sample to choose from. This also meant the final decision and its result was shown in public. Proper historical analysis demands that we conduct our research within an accurate context.”

You quickly finish the last of your cereal; making plans to sneak out while they’re all in shock over Twilight’s revelation.

“Wow! Twilight! I’m so impressed.” Rainbow Dash yells while Applejack makes a final check of the straps.

Her wings lift her up and she hovers over the floor. Testing the saddle and how it fits as she continues. “You’re going all out, in every city in Equestria, no matter what types they contain?”

“Well, every city that’s okay with it. Especially some smaller and more secluded may decline.”

The pegasi makes a quick spin in the air, flaunting her avian precision, as she yells out: “I’m so proud of you! The nerdy egghead finally shows herself as a true mare, draining seed from every corner of Equestria.”

“It’s for science!” Twilight adds in somber tone.

“Whatever! I too have had weird reasons for many of my sexual adventures... and speaking of which.”

With the speed of an arrow she appears in front of you. Hovering in the air with her face almost pressed to yours.

“Hi there human! Come here often? Want to prance?” She stretches her body, front hooves up, hind hooves down, mimicking your bipedal upright position. She wiggles her tummy and its tight saddle straps in a barrel-belly-dance.

You swallow hard, thinking of a suitable excuse. Something good. Like a headache.

“Want to check out this saddle? Want to know what it means?”
Dash spins around in the air, turning her back towards you. She floats in the air, a slight bucking curve to her back, as she closes in and presses the saddle to your chest, while slowly moving her wings.

“I’m not sure he understands how to mate with someone airborne. He has no wings, you know.” Twilight’s voice calls out from the table.

Dash instantly lands, pressing her posterior against your thighs.

“So, it’s a nice saddle don’t you think? Maybe let those pants drop and show me what you got?”

She turns around to sniff at your pants, nibbling at the fabric. She notices the bulge before you do. You realize that your dick once again proves to have a mind of its own. It has been increasing in size while you ogled the blue mare’s aerial dance.

“You should probably slow down. Humans are easily intimidated by sexual advances. Just bending over and wink in the library doesn’t work on him.”

Twilight’s friendly advice is mostly ignored by Rainbow Dash who has her muzzle between your legs.

“This works just fine. I’m a Wonderbreed and not a bookhorse.” she mutters, but only you are close enough to hear.

“They prefer mating within the confines of their nest. You may want to take him to his room. Out in the open he’s almost as cautious as Fluttershy.”

“Oh, my...” Fluttershy exclaims. “We probably shouldn’t be watching?”

“It’s okay; he needs to practice with an audience if he’s to partake when finalizing the promenade.” Twilight smiles.

“Enough foreplay!” Rainbow Dash says with a stern voice. “Let’s start with the action someplace you’re comfortable.”

She sweeps up behind you, puts her hooves under your arms and grabs hold over your chest. A second later you feel yourself hoisted off the floor as she lifts you up in the air.

“Wow! He’s much heavier than he looks.”

“Indeed!” Twilight says, as she clears her throat. “Humans are very high density. They are so heavy that if you drop them in water, they will sink.”

The group around the table looks stupefied and with open jaws, except Pinkie, she vocalize an ooh and with a mouth to match.

“The exact buoyancy is actually similar to water, but Anon here will sink to the bottom unless he flaps those limbs like a frog.” Twilight explains, using her lecture voice.

“Ha! I love a challenge!” Rainbow Dash says, as you’re slowly flying towards the kitchen door. Most passages in the castle were wide enough for three ponies to walk side by side, but this door wasn’t that wide. You brace yourself for the crash.

“I’ve prepared some charts and graphs on human density. I can show you comparisons to ponies from various tribes?”

“That could explain why he initiated his lovemaking standing up behind you?” Rarity wonders. “If he’s very heavy, putting all that weight on the partner would be uncomfortable?”

“It’s not that bad. It’s not as if he’s rubbing all that weight along your saddle and spine. He can move his pelvic area independent of his shoulders. The added weight is actually nice. Makes him feel larger.”

“Ooh!” Pinkie Pie adds while Fluttershy blushes, reminded of her bear friend.

Meanwhile Rainbow Dash carries you close to the ceiling, before diving towards the doorway, quickly accelerating. Her wings kept angled backwards as she clears the doorway with her precious cargo intact.

She triumphs and revels over her own superiority and quickly picks up the pace. “Ha! Piece of cake! Even with all these primate limbs pointing at every direction at once.”

Her speed is nothing to sneeze at, as she flies you upstairs, stopping for only a brief second to remind herself which guest room Twilight had assigned to the human, and then repeats the kitchen door maneuver to get both of you inside.

With a quick kick from her hind hoof she slams the door shut before dropping you off on your bed. She smiles. You try and smile. You notice she’s awfully strong for a pony.

. . .