It had been 30 days since Sprout promised he would not start a war.

It had been 28 days since Sprout did, in fact, start a war.

Today, Hitch reluctantly slipped a key into the lock of the jail cell, and twisted it until he heard a click. As the tall metal gate creaked open, he let out a long groan before proclaiming, "All right Sprout, you're free from imprisonment."

Sprout grinned and trotted out of the cell, excited to rejoin society at last. Prison food had been terrible--sure, Hitch had brought him a pizza every day, but the pizzas were always coated in barbeque sauce instead of ketchup. Inexcusable!

He was brought to a halt by a hoof landing on his shoulder. "Hold on," Hitch said firmly, "you've still got six months of community service, remember?"

Sprout's smile vanished as he gave a melodramatic eyeroll. "Fine... What do you need me to do, sheriff?"

Hitch paused for a while, his tail slowly swishing as he pondered. He lifted a hoof and tapped his chin a few times. "Hmm... Well, you obviously can't be my deputy anymore, so you'll be my assistant instead. Capeesh?"

"Capeesh," Sprout muttered glumly, lowering his head.

"Good." Hitch gave a single curt nod. "Now make me some coffee."

"Aw, but I don't wanna!" Sprout whined.

His indignant expression immediately became one of fright when Hitch fixed him with a stern glare. "According to legal doctrine, you could've been charged with life in prison. You should be nothing but glad I let you off easy!" He thrust his muzzle closer until it was nearly touching Sprout's. "Do you understand?"

Sprout took a step back, feeling his cheeks heat up as Hitch's golden brown gaze bore into his own. "Y-y-y-yes sheriff!" He scrambled over to the coffee machine to set about fulfilling the sand-colored stallion's request...

The next morning, Hitch strolled into the sheriff's office with Sprout following closely behind him. Hitch gestured at what was formerly the deputy's desk.

"You're welcome to be here, but we need to make you a new sign." Hitch snatched Sprout's old 'DEPOOTY' sign and stuffed it into the bin. He then grabbed a blank piece of card and wrote 'ASSISTANT' on it with a pen, before carefully folding it over and setting it on the desk.

"Thanks," Sprout said tepidly. He trudged to the other side of the desk and flopped into his chair, gazing forlornly over at his trashed 'DEPOOTY' sign.

Hitch trotted over to the sheriff's desk. "Now, go get the mail."

"But I just sat down!" Sprout exclaimed, flattening his ears. "I mean... Sure. Anything for you, buddy."

He slipped out of the chair, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly as he remembered a little envelope he had snuck into the mail slot late last night. Boy, would Hitch be surprised! Sprout fetched the bundle of mail and dropped it in front of Hitch. He then returned to his own desk, whistling in a terribly out-of-tune manner.

Hitch sifted through the mail which, aside from the local newspaper, primarily consisted of catalogues and other junk mail. He would have to remember that sale on used patio furniture... Then, his attention was grabbed by a bright yellow envelope that oddly lacked both a stamp and an address.

"Hm, what could this be...?" Hitch muttered to himself. Sprout covered his face with a hoof to hide his delighted grin. He watched as Hitch tore open the envelope and pulled out a small scrap of lined paper.

This is what it said:

Dashing and bould
Yoo persavere and enspire
I wish I kould tell yoo
That I'm yore sekret admirerer!

PEE. ES. If yoo know who I am, and had a revealation,
Let me kno by giving me a red karnation!

"Wow," Hitch breathed as read over the scribbled hoof-writing. "This pony is one terrible speller."

Sprout idly tapped a pen on the surface of his desk and directed a half-lidded gaze towards Hitch, struggling to keep his tone as casual as possible. "So, what's that letter all about?"

Hitch slowly put the note down, an eyebrow hiking as a smug expression spread across his face. "I knew this would happen one day. It seems as if I have a secret admirer. This letter must be from some gorgeous mare--"

"Or stallion!" Sprout quickly interjected.

Hitch tossed his mane proudly. "Ah, yes. Some gorgeous mare with dazzling eyes, or some handsome stallion with super ripped muscles, who wants to go on a date with me!"

"Yeah... Super ripped muscles..." Sprout glanced down at his own soft, puny frame.

Hitch eagerly hopped out of his seat and struck a confident pose, puffing his chest out while swiping his mane back with a hoof. "There's only one thing to do about it. I need to offer a carnation to everypony in town until one of them reveals themself as my secret admirer!"

"Of course..." Sprout averted his eyes and thanked the heavens that his deep red fur hid his blush.

Hitch offered Sprout a friendly smile--perhaps a little too friendly. "And you're going to help me."

Hitch was making his way around Maretime Bay with Sprout lumbering after him, bogged down by saddlebags that were absolutely bursting with red carnations. Hitch handed out a carnation to every grown-up pony he passed, but none of them provided a telltale reaction.

"This is looking to be impossible," Hitch said with a huff as the two of them stood on a street corner, taking a brief break. "Why couldn't my secret admirer just tell me how they feel to my face?"

Sprout's lungs were heaving, as he had spent the morning following Hitch all over town. (It may come as a surprise, but Sprout wasn't exactly the most fit pony out there.) "Uh... Maybe he... or she... or they... were afraid you wouldn't... like them back?" He managed to choke out his words amongst exhausting panting.

Hitch stamped a hoof on the ground. "That's bogus! I'm willing to give anypony a chance to go out with me."

"Really?" Sprout looked up at him, hope glimmering in his leaf-green eyes.

Hitch did not look at him. "Anypony aside from cookie thieves and power-hungry emperors, that is."

Sprout's face fell. He had been both of those things in the past.

Something seemed to catch Hitch's attention; an orange figure wearing a cerulean helmet, her pink tail and braided mane flowing behind her as she whizzed through the streets on her roller skates. She was pulling along a little smoothie cart, ready to sell smoothies to the residents of Maretime Bay.

He waved a hoof at her. "Hey, Sunny! Over here!"

The mango-hued mare slowed before returning a beaming smile and changing course, skating up to the two stallions. However, her eyes refused to land on Sprout even once.

"Hi Hitch!" After skidding to a halt, Sunny put a hoof out and wiggled it as an invitation. Hitch rolled his eyes in mock irritation before joining her in their special Best Friends Hoofshake:

"Up high, down low,
Hitch it to a post.
Flip it sunny side up,
And on a piece of toast!"

After they finished their chant, Sunny playfully bumped against Hitch, nuzzling his shoulder. He gave a toothy grin and reached over to Sprout's saddlebag to grab one of the red carnations.

"Sunny, I should have known! This is for you."

Sunny's eyes widened in a mixture of surprise and befuddlement as her friend held the flower out to her. "Oh, thanks! What's it for?"

"Uh..." Hitch's eyes darted from side to side upon realizing that she wasn't the love letter's culprit after all. "The truth is, I'm just handing out flowers to everypony in town as a kind deed. I thought you might like one too."

"Sweet, thanks again! I better get going, though. Got these smoothies to sell!" Sunny tilted her head towards her smoothie cart and let out a chuckle.

Sprout's ears perked up. "Can I have a smoothie?"

She did not even glance his way. She was too busy totally ignoring his existence. She exchanged a "Goodbye!" with Hitch, and then she was off.

There was a Sprout Pout™. "I don't think she has forgiven me yet."

Hitch began to pace back and forth, his tail lashing. "That's the least of our worries! This search is getting nowhere. Surely I didn't spend half the town funds on flowers for no reason?"

Sprout shyly scuffed and swirled one of his front hooves on the ground. "Well, maybe you oughta think a little harder and narrow it down... Perhaps the secret admirer is somepony very, very, VERY close to you..."

Hitch paused with a frown as he contemplated this. "Hmm... Sprout, you're a genius!" He whipped around and suddenly held Sprout's face in his hooves, squishing his cheeks.

"Mmph! I-I am?" He felt his heartrate shoot upwards in response to feeling Hitch's hooves grab his face.

"That is right, my clever little assistant. Sure, Sunny turned out to be a false alarm, but there's still a chance the letter is from one of my OTHER close friends..."

Sprout tensed. "Such as?"

Hitch cocked a grin. "Pipp, Zipp, or Izzy of course!"

Pipp, Zipp, and Izzy had one thing in common: None of them turned out to be Hitch's secret admirer. While in Zephyr Heights and Bridlewood, Hitch had taken the opportunity to give out carnations in those locations too. Now countless Earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns had each received a solitary scarlet flower--including Alphabittle, Queen Haven, and every member of the royal guard... Nevertheless, the adventure ended with fruitless results, and Hitch and his assistant returned to Maretime Bay while the moon was aloft in the sky.

Sprout collapsed in front of the sheriff's office, ever fiber of his being screaming from exhaustion after not only climbing to Zephyr Heights, but traveling to Bridlewood all within a day. Hitch was far better off physically, yet he was consumed with dejection, his head hung low.

"I guess I'll never find out who left that note..."

It hurt Sprout to see Hitch so miserable. Not enough to actually reveal the secret to him, though.

Hitch peered down with regret glistening in his eyes. "I'm sorry for dragging you around all day, Sprout. I should escort you home. You can lean on me if you're too tired to walk."

Sprout looked up at him and rose on unsteady hooves. "Huh? Oh yeah, that would be nice. Thanks..."

A small smile managed to grace Hitch's muzzle before he pressed against Sprout's side, causing him to jump slightly. The two ponies became wordless and slowly walked in the direction of Sprout's home. Most ponies were asleep at this hour, so the night was still and silent save for the rhythmic clip-clopping of hooves against pavement. Sprout discreetly glimpsed sideways at Hitch, admiring how the starlight touched his golden fur and teal mane. What a dazzling and brave stallion he was... Sprout wished he could be brave too, if only to confess exactly how he felt without worrying about humiliating himself...

It wasn't long before they arrived at Sprout's doorstep. Hitch turned to him and reached over to lift something out of his saddlebag--a red carnation, the very last one. After a long day, it had begun to wilt, and a few loose petals drifted downwards.

Hitch's voice was husky, yet tender. "Well, this is the final flower. And there's only one pony I can think of giving it to."

Sprout's eyes grew as big and round as the moon above. "R-r-r-really?"

He gave a soft smile. "Why don't we head inside?"

Sprout's heart surged and sped up as if it had suddenly been bucked. It took several moments before he was able to respond, albeit in a trembling voice. "W-well, if you really want to..."

His breath kept catching in his throat as it tightened, anxiety swarming over him. Could it be true? Was Hitch really returning his feelings? Breaking eye contact with his crush, Sprout then pushed open the door before taking shaky steps inside. Hitch followed after him, holding the stem of the flower between his teeth...

And then breezed right past, halting in front of Sprout's mom in the kitchen.

Sprout watched, mouth agape, as Hitch craned his neck towards Phyllis, presenting the half-dead flower to her.

"Why hello there, Sheriff Hitch! Aw, is that for me?" Phyllis lifted a hoof and coyly took the carnation from Hitch's teeth. Her smile faltered slightly when she took note of the bedraggled state the flower was in.

"Why yes it is, ma'am." Hitch stood up straight and wagged his eyebrows while Sprout lingered in the hallway, an amalgamation of disappointment and rage burning inside him.

"How sweet." Phyllis turned to pop the flower into an empty vase. She peered at a clock hanging on the wall above. "It's a little late, isn't it? What's the occasion?"

Hitch sighed deeply, his ears and tail drooping as he came to terms with the fact that he never identified his secret admirer. "Nothing. Nothing at all." He perked up again barely a moment later, holding his head high while Sprout scowled at him from the shadows. "Well, this mission may have been a bust, but I won't let that stop me from being the most dependable, most beloved sheriff in town!"

He bid Phyllis farewell and then made his way out with reclaimed confidence in his gait. "Bye Sprout!" he tossed over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

Sprout was fuming, but there were tears pricking at his eyes too. He sniffled, willing himself to hold them back.

His mom lightly trotted over and looked into his eyes, her own blue gaze telling of concern. "What's wrong, sugarcube?"

Sprout squinted in an attempt to withdraw his tears, but the dam broke. Wet droplets spilled onto the floor as he began to quiver, despair squeezing his heart and twisting it inside his chest. "I-I just can't believe that nincompoop would choose MY MOM over me!"

Phyllis rapidly blinked with bafflement a couple of times, but before she could reply, Sprout dashed off to his room, sobbing and wailing. There, he curled up on his bed and wept until he had no more tears left to shed. Was he really so undesirable that Hitch wouldn't consider him for even a heartbeat? He had poured his heart and soul into that letter, but it had all been in vain!

Oh well. There's always next time!

Author's Note

I acknowledge any personality exaggerations/alterations compared to the canon characters, as this is just a silly, light-hearted fanfiction. Still, there are more chapters to come and who knows... maybe Sprout will get lucky one of these days!