Sprouting Romance

Poor Sprout. After his prior failed attempt to let Hitch know he liked him, the red Earth pony had spent a week moping about. All hope was lost! Hitch would never be his boyfriend! He would give anything to go on one date with that charming stallion, or even just share one kiss... He felt his face burning up just thinking about it.

Sprout was bunkered in his room, empty pizza boxes and smoothie cups littered everywhere, with outdated emo music blasting from his stereo. Perhaps it was time for the pity party to come to an end. Yes, Sprout would try again--Maybe he and Hitch would never get married or adopt 7 foals, but he would find a way to convince Hitch to willingly kiss him! Then he could die happy.

First, he would need to make himself irresistible. So, he switched off the music and trotted to the bathroom, where he took a refreshing hot shower, thoroughly combed his mane and tail, brushed his teeth for three minutes instead of two, and even stole just a smidgen of his mom's perfume. And speaking of whom, he was soon interrupted by a few knocks at the door...

"You can come in," Sprout assured. He was leaning on the sink and observing his reflection in the mirror while he styled his mane, his hoof covered in hair gel.

The door swung open, and Phyllis stepped in. "There you are! I noticed there was no depressing music blaring from your room for once, so I wanted to see how you were doing--oh wow, did you take a shower?"

Sprout beamed at her. "Yes I did, mommy!"

Phyllis matched his smile, her heart swelling with pride. "This is wonderful news! You know what that means, right sugarcube? You get a gold star!"

She handed him one of the many gold star stickers that were stored on a nearby shelf, and he eagerly stuck it on the 'Sprout Hygiene Chart' hanging on the bathroom wall. Whenever he collected 10 gold stars over the course of 30 days, his mom bought him a present at the end of the month!

"Careful not to get that hair gel everywhere, honey," she gently warned him. She raised an eyebrow as she studied his mane, which was currently saturated with the glossy gel and spiked in random directions. "What are you doing, anyway?"

Sprout scowled, his demeanor instantly souring. "I can do what I want, mommy! Now leave me alone so I can finish this!"

Later that day, Hitch was leaning back in his office chair, hind hooves kicked up on the desk while he read the daily newspaper. Apparently Drift Flair, a model who survived in the sky for 3 days after being swept away by a CanterLogic escape pack, was stuck in the air again due to an incident involving unicorn magic and a hot air balloon... Hitch's brow furrowed with intrigue as he leaned closer to the text on the page. However, before he could continue reading the article, the doors to the sheriff's office swung open.

Hitch peered over his newspaper, his eyes stretching wide open as a familiar red pony strutted into the building. He was wearing light make-up; subtle streaks of black eyeliner adorned his eyes, and his cheeks were dusted with pink blush. He almost looked cute, even. But that was countered by his mane, which moreso resembled a blonde, electrocuted porcupine sitting atop his head.

Hitch dropped the paper on his desk. "Sprout, is that you? I thought you were dead."

"You thought I was--!?" Sprout stamped a hoof on the floor before breathing in deeply to compose himself. "Nevermind... Ehm, what do you think?"

Hitch removed his back legs from the desk and sat upright, edging forward and putting his hooves together to maintain a more professional posture. "I think you skipped out on a week of community service. Where were you?"

"I mean, what do you think of my new look?" Sprout's tone was bordering on impatience.

"Hmm..." Hitch shifted out of his chair and trotted over to Sprout, circling him and inspecting him from all angles. "The make-up's good, and your tail looks extra neat... The mane's a bit much though." He then paused and pressed his muzzle against Sprout's neck, causing the red stallion to flinch before simply freezing up. "And WHY do you smell like a perfume factory instead of old pizza crusts?"

"I only used a tiny bit of perfume!" Sprout insisted. His heartbeat skyrocketed while he felt the little rushes of air induced by Hitch's nostrils. "Now STOP sniffing me!"

"Gladly." Hitch drew back, grimacing slightly from the overpowering jasmine scent. "Anyway, I'm about to head out on patrol, and I want you to sort through the paperwork while I'm gone. Got it?"

Sprout couldn't resist giddily tapping his hooves on the floor. Now he would have the chance to set up his ploy! He paused awkwardly when he noticed Hitch staring at him with suspicion filling his narrowed eyes. "Uhh... Yeah, I guess I can do that."

Hitch blinked slowly. "Hmm. All right. It's good to see you enthusiastic about working for once." He turned away and headed out the building. "Adios, Assistant Sprout!"

Sprout waited a few moments, and then allowed a wide grin to spread across his face as a devious giggle shook his shoulders...

One hour later, Hitch returned from patrol to find Sprout lazily sorting through papers at the Assistant's Desk, humming a cheery tune. But moments after he passed through the door, Sprout leapt up with exaggerated fear claiming his features.

"Hitch, wait there! It's an emergency!"

"HUH?!" Hitch halted with a hoof suspended in the air and glanced around quickly, aiming to identify the source of the problem.

Sprout cantered over to him and pointed skyward. "Look!"

Hitch tilted his head back to look up at the ceiling. He squinted at some kind of green plant dangling from above. "Oh, weeds are growing on the ceiling now. The health inspector isn't gonna be too pleased about that."

He was about to take another step, but Sprout firmly planted a hoof on his chest to prevent him from moving any further. "You don't understand. That's not just any weed. It's a mistletoe!"

Hitch's eyebrows stayed in a perfect horizontal line as he waited for an explanation.

Sprout let his hoof drop to the floor. "Th-the unicorns told me about it... It's an ancient Hearth's Warming Eve curse. If two ponies stand under a mistletoe, they must kiss or it will spell doom for all of Equestria!"

Hitch huffed. "Then that would be your fault, because I was the only one standing here before you came up to me. Besides--" He casually stretched his legs and then sidled away. "Unicorn superstitions are hardly anything to worry about. AND it's nowhere near Hearth's Warming Eve."

Sprout watched in dismay as Hitch returned to his desk, his lowered eyelids spelling bored indifference. This wasn't how things were supposed to turn out! Wasn't he attractive enough for Hitch to kiss him? "B-b-but it's true! I heard about a couple of ponies who failed to kiss under a mistletoe, and... they exploded into smithereens five seconds later!"

A long silence dragged out between the two stallions.

Hitch clicked his tongue. "Welp, we didn't explode. The curse isn't real. Now go get the stepladder and take that thing down."

Sprout's muzzle quivered as he held back a sob. "But... but... but...!"

Hitch picked up his newspaper and ignored him.

Sprout stomped over to a corner and sat heavily on his haunches, obscuring himself behind a filing cabinet so he could pout in peace without Hitch looking at him. Soon his annoyance metamorphized into heartbreak. He didn't want to cry, but it wasn't long before Hitch's ears twitched at the sound of sniffing and whimpering. He groaned and plopped the newspaper down on his desk again, proceeding to slowly creep up to where the bundle of red fur was hiding.

"Sprout? Are you okay?" he asked gently as he approached.

Sprout peeked up at him. Tears were streaming down his face. "Leave me alone!"

Hitch frowned as he debated whether to talk to him or obey his wishes, before making his decision and kneeling in front of the other pony. "I'm a bit worried about you."

The tears slowed for a second. "Y-you are?"

Hitch nodded. "First you disappear for a week, then you come in with the worst mane style I've ever seen, and now you're worried about unicorn superstitions!" He softened his tone. "Is something going on?"

He patiently waited as Sprout worked his way through another minute of sobs before mustering a response. Throughout it all, he could not will himself to make eye contact with Hitch. "All I ever wanted was to feel appreciated. Ever since my dad left, something's been missing. Nopony's ever really loved me aside from mommy, so I wanted to experience a different kind of love... but nopony would ever want to be with me."

"Is that why you hid away these past several days? These thoughts were bothering you?"

Sprout nodded, even though that wasn't the exact reason. "A-anyway, I dolled myself up like this because I thought it would make... somepony... like me. But it hasn't worked, and it hurts knowing that I'll never be good enough for yo--I mean, for anypony."

Hitch edged closer as he listened intently. "Then what about the mistletoe thing? What was that about?"

Sprout winced. "I'm just freaking out because of stress, I guess?" He trailed off and gave a sheepish shrug.

Hitch tilted his head to one side. "I see. Well, if you say so." He was quiet for a moment. "You know you don't have to change yourself for somepony to like you, right? Be true to you and let your positive traits shine. The right pony will come into your life someday and accept you for who you are."

He flattened his ears as Sprout sniffed extra loud. "R-really? What are my positive traits then?"

Hitch started to shrink away. "Uhh, that's easy, just lemme think. Erm..."

His amber gaze shifted around as he thought, landing upon just about everything in the room except for Sprout himself.

"You have... a lot of potential?" Hitch offered at last, his teeth showing through a meek smile.

Sprout sighed and smeared his hooves across his face, attempting to wipe away his tears now that he was nearly done shedding them. "Thanks, I guess."

Hitch stood back up on his hooves. "That's the spirit! Now, follow me and we will put your worries at rest, okay?"

"Hm?" Sprout found himself unable to protest as Hitch helped him to his hooves and guided him to the center of the office, right beneath the mistletoe.

Hitch placed a hoof on Sprout's shoulder as he faced him, causing him to let out a barely audible gasp. "I don't really understand, and I still think the 'curse' is a bunch of baloney, but if it makes you feel better..."

Hitch inched his face closer to Sprout's, hesitating slightly to see if he would object. But he didn't; despite the sudden rush of apprehension crushing down on him, he practically turned into stone instead of backing away. Hitch turned his head a little to the side and kissed Sprout's cheek. There was no pressure, no passion, just Hitch lightly touching his lips to the other stallion's face.

It barely lasted a second. Still, as Hitch quickly drew back, Sprout felt arduous warmth flood through him, seeming to emanate from the spot where he had been kissed. No longer a statue, Sprout began to swoon, wobbling slightly on his hooves as he involuntarily smiled.

"Now you don't have to worry about Equestria being doomed," Hitch said, a hint of amused sarcasm lacing his tone. "And you're not gonna explode into smithereens, either." He moved his hoof to Sprout's mane and patted it a few times, brushing down some of the silly gelled spikes.

Sprout may not have exploded into smithereens, but his heart sure did, and he was still reeling on the spot as Hitch left his side and went back to his newspaper. It had been far less of a revolutionary experience for Hitch, and with his gaze focused on the article he was reading, he rambled in a casual tone. "Hopefully that fixed your paranoia. If you're done standing there, you should get that weird plant down like I asked. Oh, and while you're at it, clean the whole office from top to bottom."

Sprout's response came out in a squeak. "Y-yes Hitch!" He felt as if his face was on fire and his hooves were frozen, but still, he gradually remembered how to use his legs and stumbled over to where he had left the stepladder. He felt as if all his despair had melted away and was replaced by a faint, flickering spark of hope. Maybe he had a chance with Hitch after all!

~~~

Meanwhile, Phyllis was getting herself ready to attend a small party with some friends. But as she reached for her perfume bottle, she noticed it was completely empty...

"Sprout..." she grumbled under her breath.