"Whatcha doing all the way out here?"

I paused my devouring of deliciousness to respond, licking my lips and around my face to take away the juices on my muzzle."Don't really know actually," I tapped at my chin for a bit before answering it, "Guess I just like the scenery." I kept eating away what was left of the apple.

"Well," Applejack scratched at her head with her hoof which I don't neccesarily know how that works but then again I'm holding an apple with an invisible grip so kind of defeats the purpose of taking the criticism out of it.

"Ain't you a far ways from home? Where are your parents?"

I finished eating the delectable fruit in whole with one final consumptive of it's entirety.

"Don't know and honestly don't care, I'm just gonna ride this one out."

Applejack's eyes bugged out at my response, "Don't care? How could you not care? Your parents could be worried sick!"

I laid on my back on the grass calming myself from the whole surreal situation. I mean seems so real, strange that it would be a horse but eh.

"Because my parents have been dead for a looooong time"

Applejack felt a sting in her heart, she could empathize on the level of losing parents but before she could speak I spoke up.

"wait..." something clicked in my head and I turned to Applejack. "Is this a sort of therapy moment about me accepting loss?" I squinted my eyes and scrunched up my nose.

"Or is this like a 'I got so used to them being in my life and checking up on me that I want my parents in my last moments.' kind of thing?"

This is getting too meta now, "eh whatever, nevermind." I looked back to the sky, it was nice.

"Now hold on a second, how can you just casually throw that your parents are dead? Who's been looking after you?"

This was definitely a more 'wanting parents/closure in my last final hours' well I'll play ball I guess.

"Well, I guess it sorta started way back when I first saw the signs of them slowing down. It's like watching them burn out y'know? Not like uh 'used to be in their prime' kind of thing. More like I was slowly realizing that the people that raised me were slipping y'know?"

I frowned at the thought and memories it was bringing but I guess that's the point.

"I guess in a way I wasn't ready to let them go y'know? Like I know that's expected obviously but it just...hit me you know? Like I was growing and in those years of seeing my parents just- made me want the years to grow slower. It was odd to realize I guess, hard to really see the end of the most important people in your life that have cared for you. Maybe in some sense I didn't want good things to end."

I knit my brow at that statement, "Maybe I sorta realized that went scruffy died, I just wasn't ready to let those memories die y'know?"

Applejack just look confused and uncomfortable at the question. "I uh-"

I continued, "maybe I just couldn't let myself live to that? Maybe in a sense I always knew I'd have to come to that conclusion but stopped to see how I'd do without it?"

I felt like I could actually talk about something close to me for once. Hmm I guess coming to conclusion in delusional worlds were kind of a nice thing.

"Thanks Applejack, you know I realize I've been sorta holding myself back to realize I wasn't okay with death and I just never really sit well with the idea of death since my dog died.

"I uh-...yur welcome?" She was probably completely out of her element, she thought she could give some kind of help and then I sorta just did it myself, heh way to go brain. Outplayed yourself...

I felt pretty smug about that, felt real mature to just have this in the bag, no need for therapy and all that, nope just had to be inside my own head.

...now saying that it just sounds super unhealthy but eh.

While I was letting the natural air come and go with my breathing pattern it seemed Applejack was sorta out of it before shaking her head to ask me something. "...how did you get here then?"

"Hm?"

"You're in the apple orchard and if yur folk's ain't here well...how did you get here?"

I was a bit confused at that, "...OH! This is a sort of 'how'd i come from loving parents and good life to now in my last moments of my conscious' right?"

"W-WHAT?! YUR LAST MOMENTS?-" but before she could finish I just kept rolling with the question.

"Weeeell hm, strange that you would ask me since I mean this is basically myself trying to help me sort out my demons but eh, well I guess I got here by just messing up. I mean-"

"N-now hold yur horses, I don't mean in that fancy smancy talk, what do u mean yur last moments?"

"Well yeah I'm dying as we speak." I said nonchalantly.

Applejack completely stiffened before yelling out, "Y-YUR DYING?! T-this ain't a joke right? I'd be mighty mad if it was!" She spoke in a bit of anger but mostly concern and sadness.

I shrugged it off though, I mean really I'd think I'd be smart enough to tell my own conscious imaginary horse therapists that I'm dying. "Of course it's not, I'm dying"

So odd though, "...I thought that was the whole point of-wait... of course!" I turned my head with a smug smile at Applejack. "I'm in denial!"

Applejack's eyes bugged out, "...pardon?"

"It all makes sense! I mean I didn't think this would happen to me again, I mean could you be in denial about your death? Shit... that's kind of depressing... going through the stages of grief again."

Now Applejack completely felt like this was out of her element.

Author's Note

Sorry for such a long update, I've been uh dealing with my personal life and it's been hectic and hard.

But just between me and you, I'm a sucker for you guys when you want a new chapter sooooo just saying if you guys said you wanted a chapter soon then i guess I wouldn't be able to deny the consumption of more.

Anyway thank you for sticking around.