A Chance

"Shit the idea alone is pretty scary, could I stay in denial? Is that an option?" I stood up to look at Applejack but she just found this whole thing odd.

"Ah, going have to rule that one out then." Damn, going through the stages of grief again... shit is not going to be nice to go through.

While I was busy investing myself into my own thoughts on how this would work on myself I failed to notice Applejack being stunned in place.

After a few seconds she shook her head to refocus on the most important thing she learned.

"Now hold on, you said you were dying right? Not just cotton in my ears? You're dying?"

It took a bit for me to snap out of my train of thought. "Hm? Oh yeah" then something came to mind and I looked at her dead on.

"W-why are ya looking at me like that." She stepped a few feet back but I didn't respond until a few seconds.

With a huge smile I spoke, "I guess you could say... I'm DEAD serious!" I started laughing enough to flop me to the ground.

She paused to process my joke before looking miffed. "Gosh darnit! I knew you were pullin' my tail!" Her face soured real quick, "It ain't no joke to talk about death like that! I'm gonna give your parents a stern talking to!"

"Oh come on that was like decently funny, I mean you can't let a dying guy joke- wait what are you doing?"

I saw her slowly get closer before she grabbed my ear by her mouth.

With a yank I yelped, "Hey! Wha- Ow! Gives?"

Due to her tugging at me she couldn't pronounce words very well. "Mi'm twaking you to the hospital to swort this out."

"Hey you can't- Ow! Okay okay jeez atleast let me walk on my own- Ow!" I was trying to make her stop yanking me around by my ear but she stopped only to give me a death stare. So I shut my mouth real quick while we moved along, looked like we were in an apple orchard.

"Can I atleast walk on my own?"

"Do ya promise to stay next to me?"

"Uh, yeah? Not like I can go anywhere else."

That hit Applejack in the heart, while she was having a hard time wrapping her head around everything she could tell that and the parent comment was true.

This was weird and that's saying something, as we walked through the grass I found some beauty in the trees, rays of sunshine peeked through the leaves of the trees with some warmth. As I was pulled along I felt in small sliver of warmth as we passed through the peekings of the sun.

I wanted to let myself bathe in it, with all it's radiant soothing warmth. I don't know when I'll give out but I'd like to savor the small bits of sunshine.

We eventually found a patch of dirt that has been smoothed down as a makeshift road, looks to be the main path to the farm. Wait... an apple tree farm?

"Do you guys- just farm apples?"

"Of course' not, we also have cows, pigs and such."

Ah, wait why would I think to wake up in an apple farm?

"So why are we going to the hospital?"

Applejack didn't skip a beat to responding, "I'm gonna ask nurse red heart to look for ya folks' to see if ya got any relatives nearby."

I could get behind that, "Do you think they'll find anyone?"

Applejack was taken aback by the question, "W-what?"

"Like do you think they'll find someone that has some kind of connection to me? I mean that would be kind of cool...make for a good story with drama."

"No offense but, well, yer the oddest colt I've ever met."

"None taken, really I'm just sorta dealing death as i go, waiting to see what kind of direction I'm going to be led, somewhat fearful of it all due to the inevitability of death but eh."

Applejack just stared at me before looking away with a shiver.

As we trekked through the dirt road we finally reached what I assume to be the entrance of the entire orchard. The trees were overgrown, taller than the arching entrance, the sunlight shinning through the canopy and in a moment, I felt a tug at my lips. Something about seeing that bright shining stream of warmth, the leaves brushing softly in the humid air, warm to my newly made fur. Something about seeing the scenery made me stop in my tracks with the nice breeze.

"I thought you said-" I could hear Applejack start but, I was stuck in place, seeing the majestic piece of nature, even if it's fabricated. I found myself relive the moments when I could see the greenery oh so commonly, the liveliness of plants and the nice fresh air.

"Are you okay?"

My focus turned to a leaf, stuck to the tree but slowly losing its roots grip.

"I-"

I kept my focus onto the leaf, the vibrations of the leaf moving as the wind sashays, moving side to side.

"Alex?" The voice was low, from the farm pony of course but- my focus was still onto the leaf, watching it struggle onto the battle of life.

"What's wrong?"

The leaf, in all it's horrible fated defeat, was blown away from it's roots, slowly flowing into the air. As it slowly dawned me, the way of it's hard work blown into the wind, the integral roots that was sat to the side from it's position a couple home. I was left to ponder, what was the point of struggle if the wind keeps blowing? The vibrations that make us flow onto the air and endlessly bend to it's will?

I opened my mouth, words getting stuck in my throat and my head swirling, becoming dizzy but slowly I picked out words, not of my intention but out of necessity to speak.

"Huh..."

I felt that empty void in my heart ache in response to it all and I worry, that it will never be filled.