Discord eyed the quiet reminder of his friendship with Fluttershy. He truly wished his magic hadn’t manifested it, but it was what it was. Tirek quietly waited for his decision, having offered partnership and freedom in exchange for helping the centaur drain Equestria of its magic.
It was something that grated at him. Ever since he willingly set aside most of his antics for the betterment of ponykind (mostly Fluttershy,) he’s had a constant, demanding itch.
Addiction is a powerful thing, and Discord quickly discovered this after his so-called reform. No longer could he create miracles and games on his whim. No longer could he have fun with any passerby he wished. His days had devolved into semi-blurred snapshots that might as well have been identical for all he cared. Truly, if he hadn’t befriended Fluttershy, it would have ended either in his victory or repetrification.
But now he could escape that. Tirek’s words hit every single issue Discord had had for months. Oh, he enjoyed his time with Fluttershy, but so far everyone else at best tolerated him. He had offered to share in his fun, and got glares or semi-polite (mostly fearful) declinations in return. The ponies got everything, while he got nothing.
Really, it should have been a no-brainer.
Which is why he was quite surprised when he realized he was struggling with the decision. After all, this wasn’t a real choice. Help Tirek, Tirek helps him, be free. Except for some reason something was nagging at him, and it looked suspiciously like Fluttershy with her ‘I’m very disappointed’ stare. She was asking him to think about this, and to make what was, to her, the right decision. Why was he even humoring that?
Because if I don't, I'll lose the one friend I ever had?
Discord felt a cold shiver go through him. Those words he had once spoken in mockery now echoed through his head with fear. Had he truly changed so much, all just for one pony? Tirek was right about one thing, something about him was shackled, but he found himself unable to get rid of it. He wanted to. He could, easily, but something told him that he shouldn’t. It was whisper quiet, but blaringly loud all the same.
A wave of pain and nausea washed over him.
“I’ve made my decision,” Discord said softly, looking at Tirek.
“I promise that you won’t regret it,” Tirek said with a sinister smirk.
“You know...” Discord pressed his fingers together. “...I’m not so sure.”
===
Celestia was on her usual evening stroll through the palace grounds when she saw something that made her heart skip a beat. There, in its old spot, was Discord’s former statue.
She ran up to it without delay, thinking that somehow, Discord had forced Twilight and her friends into reimprisoning him. Or, more chillingly, Tirek had somehow done this. She flared her horn, checking the statue for the magic that had done this. She would easily discover either the cool water of the Elements of Harmony, or the searing heat of Tirek's magic.
There was nothing. As far as she could tell, it was just a statue.
“What do you think?” asked Discord behind her.
Celestia, despite her age, couldn’t help but flinch. There was a curse on her lips for his startling intrusion, but she held it back. “It’s certainly a well done recreation.” She paused. “Might I ask what the occasion is?”
“Nostalgia, I suppose,” Discord said. He floated up to it in scrutiny for a moment before rubbing a stony elbow with his thumb, smoothing out an imperfection. “There.” It was a perfect replication of his first prison, which had him frozen in a cocky, amused laugh.
“I suppose you might want to remember the old times,” Celestia said with some strain, remembering what was, to her, to be several unpleasant decades.
Discord was silent at this.
“I hope you haven’t been neglecting your search for Tirek in favor of...sculpting.”
Discord waved dismissively. “Don’t get your quills in a quandary, Celestia. It’s already done.”
Celestia’s eyes widened. “You’ve already found him?!” It had been less than a day, after all, and Equestria was a fairly big place.
“Found, confronted, and soundly defeated. Tirek is having fun in Tartarus once more.”
“That’s wonderful! I knew I was right to trust you.” He was silent. “You don’t sound very triumphant.”
“Frankly, I don’t feel triumphant.” In fact, he didn’t sound like Discord at all.
There was silence for a minute as Discord stared at the statue.
“You know that, despite our past, you can talk to me if you want, Discord.”
Discord snorted. “What, so you can psychoanalyze me and try to nudge me onto the righteous path of harmony and friendship?” He sneered at her. “I’m not your little student, Celestia. You have no power over me.” Celestia opened her mouth with a scowl, but Discord continued speaking. “Besides, it’s not like I haven’t already given in.”
Celestia stared at him for a moment. “What do you mean?”
He glared at her accusingly for a moment. “Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you did something so contrary to your nature, that you felt physically ill? You felt like you had committed the gravest of sins? That if the powers that be decided you should die, you really couldn’t come up with an argument as to why you should live?”
“That...is a very serious question, Discord. I suppose the last time was…” She thought back to a red and gold unicorn, lost in another world due to Celestia’s temper. “About fifteen years ago. May I ask where this is coming from?”
Discord pressed his lips into a line. “Who am I?”
Celestia tilted her head slightly. “You’re Discord.” At his gesturing for her to continue, she followed with, “The Lord of Chaos and Dishar- oh. I didn’t realize you would...react like this. I’m sorry, I didn’t even consider...”
He frowned at her before sighing. “No. You had nothing to do with this, not really.” He grumbled some more about friendship. “Tirek offered me an alliance. All I had to do was help him consume Equestria’s magic, and in return I would have free reign to bring chaos to all once again.”
Silence, followed by Celestia’s smiling.
“You really have come a long way.”
He threw up his hands and started shouting. “And that’s the problem! I shouldn’t have! I’m Discord! I bring terror and confusion to all I see! I have power over all reality! That’s what I do. If I truly, desperately wanted to, I could rule this world and nopony would be able to stop me. Not you, not Twilight and her silly Elements of Harmony, and certainly not the pathetic armies of the world.
"I had an out, Celestia. I could finally tear off this leash that I put around my neck. I could cut loose and enjoy myself again. I could make all of you my little minions with just a snap of my fingers. So tell me why, Celestia. Why did I give all of that up? How can I be the Lord of Chaos and Disharmony if I don’t cause disharmony? Why does the thought of Fluttershy’s disappointment make my chest hurt? Why will I miss the rare chats with Twilight about magic? Why do I get nauseated when I think of you scowling at me again? TELL ME WHY!”
Celestia watched, eyes wide as Discord caught his breath and stared at his shaking claws. She had never seen him like this before, fur on end, limbs trembling, eyes wide with...fear.
She stepped forward and embraced him in a hug, and he didn’t stop her.
“I don’t know what’s happening, Celestia,” he said quietly. “I don’t know what these feelings are.” Slowly, uncertainly, he hugged her back.
They stood there for several minutes in silence, with only the crickets and the wind as company. Eventually, Discord slithered from Celestia’s grasp, and floated up to sit on the statue.
“Is this really what friendship is like?” he asked.
“Sometimes,” Celestia said. “Sometimes we make sacrifices for others, just because we know that if we don’t make those sacrifices, we will lose those we love.”
“I’ve...never really had to do that,” Discord mused. “Even when I unfroze the farm for Fluttershy, it didn’t really cost me anything.”
“That’s the most wonderful thing about friendship. It isn’t about exchanging favors or things. It’s just pure, giving choice. It’s helping them for no reason. It’s complimenting them just because you can. It’s dimming yourself so they can shine bright.
“It’s changing yourself for the better, giving up a vice, striving to fight for them, and even laying down your life, just because you know that doing so will let those you love carry on.”
“Love?” Discord said, his voice faint.
“Yes, Discord. Love.”
He stared off in the distance, seeing something for the first time. “Oh.” He was silent for awhile longer, rubbing his claws together uncertainly. “I think I like it.”
Celestia smiled. “I would certainly hope so. There’s a lot more in your future.”
He perked up questioningly.
“Have you told Fluttershy yet?”
He frowned. “Not yet.”
“You should go to her. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”
He thought about it, thought about her smiling face, and how happy she would be that everything was alright. He thought about next week, when they had another tea party planned. He thought about it, and wondered if he could do something similar with the others.
He also suddenly remembered what he was shouting at Celestia just moments ago. He was the Lord of Chaos and Disharmony. Could he really be that while still keeping his friends?
The answer was no, at least not as he knew it. It would mean an end of his existence, figuratively speaking. Fluttershy would never tolerate him if he tried to retain his old title.
The pain returned, and he hated it, but didn’t try to dissuade it.
So Discord made a choice, and just like that, he was only the Lord of Chaos. It wasn’t as painful as he thought it would be. Without the disharmony, chaos was a bit harder to do, but…
For his friends, he would figure something out. After all, what kind of chaotic being would he be if he just stayed the same?
