The Soundblaster Files 2: The Next Level

Once we were on the train I headed to our sleeping car and put the carrier down and let Kitty out. “Ok, we’re on the train, now we can relax. We should be there by morning.” I told her.

“But what if the princesses find out who you really are?” Asked Kitty.

“Trust me, they’re stupid. It’d take a giant neon sign on the moon, for them to know who I really am.” I said.

“There is also princess Luna, she monitores the dreamscape.” Kitty warned

“That’s actually somewhere the princesses are allowed, however, luna won’t be able to control my dreams, she can visit, but she doesn’t have the full run of the place.” I said. “Besides, I’ve been safe so far.”

“I guess so, but I just thought I'd bring it up.” Kitty said.

“Ok. Come on, let’s get to bed, we have a long day tomorrow.” I told her, then I got in bed and pulled on the covers and got comfortable. “Oh, I almost forgot.” I said as I got my Gilda Butt pillow and gave it a smack before putting it on the bed before patting it and laying down with it. I gave a big whiff and smelled Gilda’s ginger scent. I rubbed my face into the pillow and smiled.

“Good night.” Kitty told me as she climbed up onto the bed and gave me a kiss.

“Good night, hey Kitty?” I asked.

“Yeah?” Kitty asked.

“Can you breastfeed me?” I asked.

“Didn't I just do that?” She asked,

“Please?” I asked, using my puppydog eyes.

“Alright baby” She said, pressing her breasts against my face.

“Thank you Kitty, do you think you can jerk off my horn while I drink your milk?” I asked, then began suckling on her teat, and she started jerking my horn gently. “Oh that feels good.” I moaned then began teasing her nipple with my tongue.

“You're not so bad yourself.” She told me. I continued sucking on her teat and drank her milk with a smile. “Yes thats it.” She moaned as she moved her paw down to finger her pussycat while she began stroking my horn faster.

“This is so hot.” She moaned as she went even faster.

“Oh, fuck, I’m getting close.” I moaned and began trying to get more of her breast into my mouth.

"Me too." Kitty moaned.

“Ah, I’m gonna…. hurry, put my horn in your mouth!” I moaned, and without hesitation she took the tip of it in her mouth and I… horngasmed into her mouth, making her moan out and climax as well.

“Ahn, fuck.” She moaned. “Oh my gosh, your magic does taste like marshmallow fluff.” She said. I said nothing and continued sucking on her teat. I started feeling a bit lightheaded then drifted off to sleep, listening to Kitty’s soft purring, and feeling the warmth of her fur.

—The Next Morning—

I awoke the next morning to a train whistle, and the conductor shouting. “CANTERLOT STATION!” I heard him say along with the sound of a loud bell.

“Uuuuuuggh.” I groaned as I woke up. “Alright Kitty, get back in the carrier.” I said as I shoved her off. She yawned before stretching.

“Ok.” She said getting back in the carrier.

I put the pillow away and put on my saddle bags and the pet carrier.” So what are we doing first? We gonna explore a little or go straight to the barracks or wherever we’re supposed to go?” Kitty asked.

“I read in the pamphlet that they are going to evaluate me. Check my magic, strength, speed, stuff like that.” I explained as we got off the train.

“Won't your powerful magic get the princesses attention?” Asked Kitty.

“I’m not worried.” I said.

“Why not?” She asked.

“I’ve got nothing to worry about.” I told her which seemed to confuse Kitty. “Let’s get something to eat.” I told her.

I began walking around Canterlot and went into a five star restaurant. When I got my food, I realized Zesty Gourmand was picky about what food should be like. “Oh, great. Just great.” I groaned.

“Is something wrong sir?” Asked a waiter.

“Yeah, I have a teeeeny tiiiny iiitty bitty problem with my food.” I said to them.

“And what would that be sir?” He asked.

“Well, last time I checked, food is supposed to be edible, and have flavor. Who’s responsible for this?!” I asked.

“I’m sorry Sir, a food critic named Zesty Gourmand, and she is very… particular about how food should be prepared.” They told me.

“Well, unfortunately, she doesn’t get to tell you how to run your business. How many other food restaurants has she done this to?” I asked.

The waiter sighed for a moment then said. “Let's just say a few.”

“Ohhhhh, I’m soooo going to give it to her when I’m out of boot camp.” I said, letting out a low growl.

“Not a good idea, dispute her reputation with restaurants. She has a growing fanbase, a lot of ponies won't be very happy if you did something.” The waiter told me.

“Just give me my damn check so I can leave.” I told them. He nodded before he went up to the desk, and got me a receipt, and once I looked at it I saw that the total amount was actually higher than what it said on the menu.

“We are sorry sir.” He said.

“Zesty tell you to hike up the prices too?” I Asked, putting the bits on the table.

“Yes.” He muttered.

I grumbled a few obscenities then left the Restaurant and headed to the castle. As I walked through the city it was exactly like I thought it would be, nobles with their heads up their ass, and their children following their example. The only reason they paid me any mind was because of the giant carrier I was carrying with my magic and my abnormal size. I ignored their stares and continued along the path to the castle.

Once I arrived I was greeted by the guards out front. “Um.. hi, I’m looking for the spot where they’re evaluating new recruits?” I asked.

The guards looked at me surprised by my appearance, before one of them said. “Forward 20 yards then take a right, then take the next left.” He told me.

“Thanks.” I said then followed his instructions and I saw a gathering of recruits talking.

“Hey did you hear they're changing the training regiment this year.” Said a unicorn mare with a rose red mane, cream colored fur, and green eyes, and her cutie mark was a shield with a spear piercing through it. Next to her stood a stallion with a similar look except his coat was a little darker, and his eyes were blue, his cutie mark was a shield with an arrow bouncing off it.

“I heard Princess Luna was the one that suggested the change.” He told her.

“Interesting.” I said, making my presence known. They both turned around and froze before slowly looking up. “Any idea what the new training regimen is?” I asked.

“I-I'm not sure, but I heard from others that she said something along the lines of changing us from decorations to real soldiers.” Said the stallion.

“About damn time, the security here sucks, there are so many areas to infiltrate. I’m Rob, Rob Rhapsody.” I said, offering my hoof to the ponies. The stallion took it first with a smile before the mare hesitantly took it after the stallion.

“I am Defender, and this is my sister Pierce.” The stallion said.

“Nice to meet you.” I told them. “This is my emotional support animal, Kitty, say hello!” I said, as I gestured to the carrier on my back, and Pierce smiled when she saw Kitty.

“Meow.” Kitty said cutely.

“What kind of cat is that?” Asked Defender.

“I have no idea what kind of cat she is. Do you think they’ll let her stay with me? She’s expecting kittens.” I said.

“They usually do, to make sure that soldiers can be responsible.” Defender said.

“Meow.” Said Kitty.

“K, so when do you think they’ll start the evaluations?” I asked.

“We don't know we were just told to wait here.” Said Pierce.

“Interesting.” I said then began looking around. I counted at least 37 recruits in total all varying in gender and race, but the majority seemed to be unicorns while the second largest group was earth ponies then the pegasi which seemed to be close to the single digits. I walked around getting a good look at everypony. Many of the unicorns seemed to be growing impatient. “Hmm. I think we’re being evaluated right now.” I said.

“Why do you say that?” Asked Pierce.

“Look at the facts, they have us all standing around, and by the looks of some of the recruits, they’ve been waiting a while, which logic suggests this is a test to learn the limitations of our patience.” I explained. “And I believe passing the test relies on how long we can stand around waiting.”

“But how long do you think they will keep us waiting?” Asked Defender.

“No idea, but I don’t think it’s just our patience they’re testing, I see a few guards out of their armor and hiding within the crowd. I know they’re guards because of their posturing, that, and they’re not interacting with anypony, they’re just observing. I think they’re also testing our sanity, to see how long we put up with each other before snapping.” I explained.

The two looked around and noticed the ponies I was talking about. “So who do you think will snap first?”Pierce asked, looking back at me.

“Hmmm. I’d say it’d be crazy eyes over there, his eye is twitching, and he’s clearly anxious.” I said, gesturing towards a grey unicorn stallion with a brown mane. “I’d say in a few minutes he might run away screaming. He possibly has agoraphobia, either he had it for a while or he’s just now getting it, I can’t be sure.” I said.

After a few more minutes the pony started screaming before he ran off.

“I guess this is going to be a survival of the fittest type of test.” I said, putting down my pet carrier and my saddle bags. “Alright Kitty, come on out, we might as well entertain ourselves.” I said, letting her out after sitting down.

She walked out of the carrier on all fours and stretched before she laid down on her stomach. I laid down next to her and she cuddled up to my chest.

“Don't you think this might get you some negative attention?” Asked Defender. “I believe they want us standing at attention before this test is done.”

“Hmm… alright. I guess I can stand for a few hours.” I said as I stood up.

—8 Hours Later—

Over three quarters of those that had come here had left, leaving only 8 of us. Me, the siblings, 2 pegasi, 2 earth ponies, and a unicorn.

“I’m starting to see why most ponies don’t join the royal guard.” I groaned.

“Greeting ponies.” Said Luna appearing out of nowhere walking towards the 8 of us.

‘Oh joy, now moonbutt decides to grace us with her presence.’ I thought to myself as my stomach growled for the literal hundredth time today.

“Seeing that you are all hungry I will skip the congratulations and just let you all go to the mess hall then get some rest, and tomorrow I will brief you all on your training.” Luna said.

“Go and dance on a pole Moonbutt!” Somepony said.

“Now that you are guard I will exercise military law, I’ll let you get away with that once, but next time you'll be getting lashes.” The princesses said in a low tone.

“I knew she was kinky!” Said somepony.

I looked around for who was saying those things but it seems Luna beat me to them.

“Guards! take him to the pole, 15 lashes.” She said pointing at the pony, and two pegasi flew to the pony’s side before they flew the pony away screaming. “That pony will be rejoining you later, let him serve as a lesson that such behavior will not be tolerated, now I shall show you all to the mess hall.” Luna said before she started to walk towards a large building.

I got my things and put Kitty back into her carrier and put it on my back and followed the rest of the ponies. Luna opened the door to show us the entire building was one giant cafeteria. “We encourage that you all get to know the guards to help you get used to your new surroundings. We offer balanced meals but if you are allergic to anything you will need to report this to your commanding officer as soon as possible. They are responsible for gathering your meals as well as training you.” Luna explained.

I remained silent and got in line to get some food. “Hey there big guy.” Said a guard mare.

“Um.. hi.” I said.

“So are you big all over or….” She said.

“That’s a bit personal, but yes.” I deadpanned, inching away and picking up a tray. On the tray was an apple, some mashed potatoes, and refried beans which actually smelled pretty appetizing.

“See anything you like?” The mare asked.

“Miss, if you want to look at my fifth leg, you’ll have to wait until I see a doctor, I’m having problems getting it up. Otherwise I’d take you to a closet and turn your brain to mush.” I told her.

“I'll be waiting then.” She giggled.

“Alright. I should be seeing the doctor tomorrow, can you wait till then?” I asked.

“Sure.” She said.

“Ok.” I said then headed to a table with Defender and Pierce and sat down after setting down my things. “Hey.”

“I see you already made a new friend.” Said Defender looking at the mare I was talking to a second ago, I looked at her too to get a better look at her. She was an earth pony with a blond mane, and white coat. Her eyes were hazel, and because of her golden armor I couldn't see her cutie mark.

“Girls just like me for body….. And my dick.” I said with a sigh.

“That tends to happen from how I understand things, just don't let any of the commanders catch you two.” Said Pierce.

“I’m smarter than I look, I may be big, but I’m not dumb. But I think she’ll probably know a good place.” I said.

“Maybe, but you should still watch yourself. You never know when someone could walk around the corner.” Defender said.

“Uh-hu.” I deadpanned before I started eating. “When do you think we’ll get our armor?” I asked.

“Likely after basic training, for now I think they’ll give us a training set that's even heavier than the normal ones.” Defender told me.

“Hmm.” I muttered as I ate then they started to eat their food. After finishing our food, we were led to our barracks by princess Luna.

“Now all of you should rest up, your friends should be joining you mommenterly, figure out amongst yourselves who gets which bed because there will be no switching or messing around.” Luna said before she closed the door allowing us to look around the place.

I picked the bunk closest to the door and began setting it up by putting down my pillow and making sure my covers wouldn’t come off during the night while I was sleeping. I also used a spell to make the bed bigger so I’d fit. After admiring my work for a few moments I climbed into the bed, and got under the covers, taking in GIlda’s ginger scent as I relaxed. Shortly after, I opened Kitty’s carrier and she climbed into the bed with me. “Good Kitty.” I said, giving her a pet and a scratch behind the ears, making her purr as I slowly drifted to sleep.

—The Next Morning—

“WAKE UP YOU TURDS.” Somepony yelled.

I got up with a jolt and saw an earth pony in armor, I then noticed their rank, apparently this was our sergeant. ‘He kind of reminds me of Major Payne….. If Major Payne was a pony and a Sergeant.’ I thought as I got out of bed and stood at attention, as did everypony else. Our sergeant had a scar over his left eye which was blue, he had a light brown coat, and a blond mane.

“I am Sergeant Vince Payne, today we will be putting you through tests that will help us assign your roles in the royal guard, we will be testing your intelligence, strength, speed, and magic!.” The sergeant said as he walked up and down the aisle in the middle of the room.

‘Holy crap.’ I thought to myself. Then Sergeant Payne stopped when he saw my pillow and my cat. ‘Uh-oh.’

“What is this?” Asked the Sergeant gesturing to my bed.

“Emotional support animal and pillow made to look like my girlfriend’s butt and an enlargement spell on my bed, Sir!” I said, trying not to upset him.

“I advise you to find more appropriate things to help you go to sleep.” He told me.

“Should I have brought my dogs, Sir? I also have a Bat, should I have brought that too?!” I asked.

“DON'T YOU TALK SASS TO ME BOY!” He yelled at me.

“Yes sir!” I said, then Luna walked in.

“Good morning recruits, it's time we got started.” She said.

“Yes your highness!” Everypony exclaimed.

“Good, now follow me.” Luna said, leading us out of the barracks.

We were led to a room with several desks with pieces of paper and quills with small ink bottles to the side. “We shall be performing the IQ test first. All of the questions and answers are randomized so don't bother cheating.” Luna told us all before we took our seats. “Now begin.”

I had trouble getting into my seat then gave up and sat on the ground and began looking over my test. I answered them all in less than five seconds and brought my test up to Princess Luna’s desk.

“How did you do that so fast?” She asked.

“It wasn’t hard.” I said.

“If you say so but let's see how you fare on the other test, after all of your company is finished of course.” Luna said.

“K.” I said then sat down back at my desk, one by one the others finished their papers, then gave them to Luna and she silently nodded before putting them away.

“Alright, now for the magic test, each one of you will be hooked up to a machine that will measure your magic level, by doing this we learn who needs the most assistance, magic-wise anyways.” Luna explained, before she tapped her hoof on the ground. The door to the room opened, and a machine was rolled in. It looked similar to a heart monitor, but instead of a line on the screen it just had a zero.

“Hm.” I mused.

One but one each was tested, the two siblings I met before showed to have magic higher then average which seemed to please Luna while the others only had an average amount of magic.

After everypony was tested, Luna gestured for me to come over. I walked over and sat down, before Luna attacked three cables to my horn.

“The horn is where most of a unicorn's magic converges, so this will give us the most accurate reading.” She told me.

“Ok, so do you want me to ignite my horn then?” I asked.

“No just relax, this will only take a few more moments.” Luna said, but out of the corner of my eye I could see the machine starting to smoke, before bursting into flames. I acted quickly and lunged onto Luna and wrapped her in a protective hug and a magic bubble before it exploded.

“You ok?” I asked, before both me and Luna got back to our hooves.

“Yes, thank you.” She said with a blush.

“You're welcome.” I said, taking down the shield, then Luna went over to what reamiend of the device.

“My sister won't like this.” She muttered under her breath before she looked at us all. “Seems we will just need to proceed to the next test which will be strength.” She told us.

Defender raised his hoof. “Yes, Recruit.” Luna said

“What is the strength test if you don't mind me asking?” He asked the princess.

“It will be at the track where we will attach carts of weights to you, and with each lap more will be added on.” Luna explained.

“Uh… how many weights will be able to be added to the carts before the axel and wheels break?” I asked.

“If the weights were to become too much we would simply attach a second cart to the first.” Luna told me.

“Ah… continue.” I said.

Luna waited for a moment to see if there were any other questions but there were not. “Follow me.” She told everypony.

We all followed Princess Luna down a few hallways and led us outside. It was a normal size track with nothing special about it. Guards brought over the carts and weights. “Alright everypony line up.” Princess Luna told us.

I joined the ponies and lined up like the rest of them. The carts were attached to us, and weights were being stacked in them. “To start us off we will be starting off with 60 pounds of weight, you may start when ready..” Luna told us.

I looked to the rest of my platoon, nodded and we began pulling the carts. We walked lap after lap, our carts getting increasingly heavier but it was not a problem for me, but it did seem to be wearing the others down a bit. After 10 laps I was the only one still moving, and I was still going strong with 5 carts behind me filled with weights with a sixth going on as I made my 11th lap. It wasn’t until after they ran out of weights and added my platoon mate’s carts to mine and I continued going for five more laps that Luna stopped me.

“I believe that is enough.” She told me.

“Alright your highness.” I told her.

“Now we will move onto the final test which is speed.” Princess Luna told us. “You shall all run on the track, and we will time each lap you make, you must do 5 in total.” She told us.

I planted my hooves firmly on the ground and began getting ready to run. Once one of the guards blew the whistle, I created a sonic boom with my first step as I ran the track five times in less than a minute.

“You've set a new record.” Luna told me with a smile.

“Thanks.” I said. Just then I smelled an enticing blueberry scent, and it seemed to be coming from….. ‘Oh my gosh is she turned on by me?!’ I screamed internally, then after a few more minutes the others finished their 5 laps and made a line with me in the center. “Now what?” I asked.

“Combat, now I’ll need a volunteer.” Luna said. All my platoon mates took a step back, and left me as the volunteer. “Ahh, thank you for stepping up.” Luna said.

“Huh?” I said then looked behind me to see they all left me as a sacrificial lamb. ‘Traitors.’ I walked forward a step. “Who am I going to be defending against?” I groaned with a sigh.

“Me.” She said.

“Wha?” I said then time seemed to slow down as Luna began attacking, however I was able to pin her to the ground in less than two seconds. When time seemed to flow normally, I saw Luna on the ground with a shocked look on her face, not entirely sure what just happened. “There, you’re subdued. Can we be done now? I have a doctor’s appointment I need to get to.” I told her as I got off.

“S-sure.” She said still confused at what had just happened.

I started smelling that scent again, only this time it was stronger. “Alright. Hey Pierce, can you take care of my cat while I’m gone? She gets lonely. And don’t forget to use her toys,they’re in her pet carrier.” I said as I left.

“Sister! Sister!” Called Luna.

“What’s wrong dear sister?” Asked the alabaster mare, known as Princess Sunbutt Celestia. “I thought you’d be with the new recruits today.”

“I was, We just finished with their evaluations. However there is one of them We believe you might find Interesting.” Said Luna giving Celestia a file with the name “Rob Rhapsody”.

“Rob Rhapsody?” She said looking it over then opening the file and began skimming through it. “Are these results correct?”

Luna nodded then continued. “He has the highest scores We’ve ever seen, his strength, speed, intelligence, magic, and combat, are phenomenal! We fought him ourself, however We never even got in a single hit, he just pinned us, We didn’t even see him move or use magic and he somehow managed to subdue us.” Exclaimed Luna.

“It seems this new recruit is handsome as well, is that how he was able to beat you sister?” Celestia joked.

“Sister!” Luna pouted angrily with a blush and puffed cheeks.

Celestia laughed and gave her younger sibling a smile. “This new recruit seems to be overqualified for simple guard duties. What would you suggest, Sister?”

“We don’t know, we were hoping you would be able to help us decide.” Said Luna.

“Hmm, I suppose, after he gains some experience, we could make him the next in line to take over Shining’s position as captain of the guard.” Celestia proposed.

“We don't think that further training is required, and we suppose the rank of captain would fit him, perhaps we should also have him as your personal guard?” Luna asked.

“It's far too early for anything like that.” Celestia said.

“But Sister, wouldn’t it be better to have him close? We’ve seen his protective instincts in action firsthoof, we believe it would be best if he were to be guarding you.” Luna asked.

“We don't know the first thing about him sister, and the fact that he is so capable should make you wary dear sister.” Celestia told Luna.

“We suppose, still, if he wished to do us harm, he would have done so earlier. He had multiple opportunities.” Said Luna.

“Why are you so insistent that he be here?” Celestia asked.

“We believe he may be able to be a good companion for us.” Said Luna.

Celestia sighed. “Alright, we’ll promote him and keep him as our bodyguard, but let's observe him for the time being.” Celestia suggested. “Where is he now?”

“He had a doctor’s appointment.” Said Luna.

“Alright then after he comes back we will observe him for a while before we approach him with the position, agreed?” Asked Celestia.

“Agreed, Sister, and thank you.” Luna said as they each had a sisterly hug.