Anonymous in Nu-Questria

You are sitting on top of a cot. The four ponies are sitting in a semi-circle in front of you, each with a warm cup of tea. You are leaned forward, your elbows on your knees.

There’s a stillness in the air. The barracks are dimly lit. Moody shadows splay out over the grungy tile walls.

“Listen, Anon... girls talk. It’s what we do... I’m sorry that you feel ashamed of your past. But we needed to know just in case it could help us down the line. We weren’t trying to judge you for it.” Sunny says.

She is absentmindedly tilting her teacup as she stares at you with a compassionate, warm smile.

“Honestly. We don’t care. If it makes you feel any better, we all came to the agreement that you weren’t at fault, alright? It was neither yours or hers.” She says.

The other mares all nod slowly. They are frowning sympathetically.

Izzy looks particularly sad. You aren’t sure if its because she’s reminded of your story or if she feels guilty for spilling the beans.

“The way I see it, you two just weren’t meant to be together. That’s fine. We all understand. Sometimes that can happen, even to ponies.” She says.

Well. Shit.

You sit up and slowly cross your arms.

“Alright, fine. That’s fair.” You say. “It’s probably better this way, any how.”

You suddenly hold up a finger.

“But.” You say. “If you think that I am going to go seduce a unicorn just so that we can find out what she maybe kinda knows about diamond dogs, then you are absolutely, one hundred percent mistaken.”

You lean forward and point aggressively at the ground.

“No. No. I will not. Do that.” You say.

Sunny stands up, “But Anon! This is our best lead yet!”

“All the other posts we found don’t lead anywhere. If there’s any pony that knows anything, it has to be her.” Zipp says, also standing.

Pipp stands up, her short frame becoming a menacing ball of fluff.

“It’s time to get back out there, Anon.” Pipp says with a challenging stare.

You sigh and it turns into a low growl in your throat. You drop your hand.

“What if it’s just a troll? Some pony making up a story?” You say.

“If it is, then we still need to check it out. It can’t be a coincidence that she made a diamond dog illusion that looks exactly like what you remember.” Sunny says.

Come to think of it. Is that what they looked like, exactly? Do you remember them looking that... perky? It was so long ago in that fucking dive bar. Are you expected to remember exactly what every anthro whore creature looks like? Fuck.

You grit your teeth and exhale hotly in the chilly little room.

“Well, what about the time it was posted? It could be someone trying to troll Pipp’s chat.” You say, gesturing at her.

“Nope! I checked. I wasn’t born yesterday, Anon. The post was made two days ago. Before I even mentioned anything in my Pipp Stream.” She says as she grins smugly.

“Fucking...” You say. You clutch your head and shake it slowly.

Izzy springs up. Her eyes are staring at you seriously and her mouth is flat.

“Anon!” She says as she takes two steps forward. She puts her hoof on your knee and leans up to your face.

“Well ‘god dammit’ Anon!” She shouts, borrowing your vocabulary, “If you’re gonna do this shit, then by god...”

Izzy speaks through her teeth as she glares. “You. Aren’t. Gonna. Do It. Alone.”

Izzy gives a powerful, confident grin and leans back to look at the others. The mares are standing up, matching Izzy’s grin with their own.

“We’ll be with you the whole way, ‘cowboy’” Zipp says.

“You can do this, Anon.” Sunny beams.

Pipp just smiles confidently. She knows she’s won, the fucking smug-ass marelet.

Hitch will probably never let you hear the end of this.

The rendezvous was scheduled through the DMs accordingly. Pipp, of course, spearheaded the effort, with you making pointed suggestions on how to respond to the more lurid remarks. Her excited hoof taps as she typed out your messages were agonizing.

It was done under a new account. Your own personal flitter. You really despise this mare-filled mountainous mega city.

Apparently, Ms. Trisha had been on vacation in Zephyr Heights for the past few days. She was feeling lonely and hoping to meet some “like-minded” friends in the area. The typical mating call of a desperate mare. You wondered what the prostitution laws are like in the deeper parts of the city.

However, just talking to wasn’t enough to seal the deal. Trisha needed to know that you were serious.

The ponies made you take a shirtless pic. Pipp said she would make it a “tasteful pic.”

She did not make it tasteful.

Yet it did the trick.

She was to meet you in a nightclub downtown, near the warehouse district. You would meet in one of the upstairs booths near the back side of the building. Zipp would help you sneak in. She had her own disguise already ready to go. Seemed to be a bit “familiar” with this part of downtown.

All you would need to do is talk for a while. Press her for details when the time is right, then schmooze on out of there. Easy. Simple.

Sunny and Hitch would be on scout duty. They would wait in line at the club and visually confirm the mare as she came in. Izzy would be there to organize a quick getaway from the back alley after Zipp drops you off.

Pipp would be the last line of defense. If anything bad happened, she would orchestrate a diversion on social media. Get ponies heads looking the other way. Just in case.

You can hear the commotion of the pegasus city’s night life in a dull but ever-present roar outside the carriage you’re in. The thumping of muffled bass-heavy music, the laughs and cries of pony joy, the clip-clopping of hundreds of hooves on pavement.

You glance around the dim carriage you are in. The inside slats are pulled tight so that only thin bands of neon streak in. Izzy waits on the bench seat across from you. Zipp is by her side.

“I just wanted to say. You look great, Anon.” Izzy says with a polite smile. She is wearing a pony-sized trench coat with matching fedora.

“Thanks, Izzy.” You say glumly. The new suit they got specially commissioned does feel well-made and comfortable, though.

Zipp is in a shimmering sky-blue dress and wearing a wavy blonde wig over her mohawk. She has applied spray color to her eyebrows along with exaggerated makeup on her face. The purples of her wings are carefully hidden beneath her blouse.

“We’re almost here.” She says. The fake mole on her cheek moves as she speaks.

“Anon, I’ll make sure the coast is clear before you head inside. Alright?” She says instructively.

“Yeah, I know, I know.” You say waving a hand dismissively.

The carriage suddenly lurches to a stop. Then it reverses. The carriage slowly pulls into a narrow back alley behind the nightclub. The sounds of the city slowly fade, and the wet natural stone of the area hums with misty ambiance.

This is it.

Time to face the ol’ demons.

The carriage stops. Izzy slowly gets up and peeks outside. She then uses her magic to lower the carriage steps below the door. She gives a nod to Zipp before hopping out.

Zipp gets up and walks out of the carriage, immediately adopting the alluring saunter of a young pegasus out on the town. She walks into the fog-laden alleyway as casually as if she was going to grab a bagel.

She gets to the end and glances around. She then raises a hoof to her ear.

“Comms check.” She says. Her voice comes through the wireless earpiece you are wearing.

“I read you.” Sunny says in the radio.

“Read you.” Hitch says.

Izzy whispers “Loud and clear.” She surveys the alleyway sneakily.

“Hitch and I are heading to the back of the line now. We’ll check in again in five.” Sunny says. “Over.”

“Copy that.” Zipp says casually. “Delivering the package now.”

Zipp turns to you, her aqua eyes glint in the deep alley. You get up and step out of the carriage.

Izzy smacks your butt as you descend the last step. “Go get ‘em champ.” She says with a proud smile.

Ugh. Thanks, Izzy.

Zipp slips her wings out of her dress and quickly flies up to a fire escape. She drops the ladder for you slowly, yet the old metal creaks on its hinges.

You reach up and grab the rungs. You pull yourself up the fire escape and stand up to the second story.

Zipp is already looking into an opened window. She carefully tucks in her wings, adjusts her tail clip and slips inside.

You follow her along the dingy metal walkway. The streets below you are humming with a resonant din. You walk carefully in the shadow of the building to avoid any pony seeing you.

You step into a small bathroom. A few stalls are near the windows, sitting empty. The churning of heavy electronic music is seeping through the crack in the door.

Zipp is peering out into the second floor hallway. She shuts it and watches you as you carefully slink forward. You nod at her when you’re by the door.

Zipp carefully peeks out again. You hear some hoofsteps down the hall, but they quickly grow distant. Zipp opens the door wide and trots out into the hall.

She leads you down the carpeted path to a room at the back. There’s small frosted glass windows on the titanium black door. She opens it and you slip into a room bathed in purple and blue LED lights. There’s a semi-circular booth made from some sort of synthetic black leather. The walls all have squares of fuzzy carpet hanging on them, dyed varying shades of blue.

You step around Zipp and awkwardly seat your lower body into the small booth. You take up a good two-thirds of it on your own. The small glass table presses against your stomach.

You adjust your tie and place your hands on the table.

“Remember the code phrase?” Zipp says as she examines you.

“Mayonnaise.” You say.

Zipp touches her ear. “Package delivered. Showtime.” She then nonchalantly pushes open the door and struts out.

The lights in the room slowly shift to red hues, then to yellow as you wait. You nervously scratch the table with your thumbnail. The cramped space, with the pulsing drone of music outside, feels difficult to breathe in.

“Zipp here. Anything yet?” Zipp says, finally breaking the silence.

“Negative Zipp, we’re still looking.” Sunny replies.

There’s a pause.

“Anon, are you getting a boner yet? Heheh...” Izzy whispers mischievously.

“Izzy!!” Sunny yells into the radio.

Ah, fuck. The feedback on that almost made your ear bleed. You reach up and try to adjust the earpiece.

“Keep the line clear, team. Settle down.” Hitch says cooly.

“Uh... oh horse-feathers. Visual confirmation. I have visual confirmation.” Zipp says quickly. You feel a jolt of surprise.

“Where sighted, repeat, where sighted?” Hitch says.

There’s a pause. You tense up a bit.

“She just walked up the stairs and is entering the hallway. Repeat. Entering hallway.” Zipp says.

Shit.

You take the earpiece out of your ear and slip it into your front pants pocket. Just in time, a slender shadow appears behind the frosted windows of the door.

Just be you. You clasp your hands together on the table and smile.

The door opens and you see a well-manicured dark brown hoof with puffy dark green fetlocks holding it open. She pokes her head around the doorframe. Her horn is bathed in blue light. Her vibrant mane almost seems to glow. Her dark eyes are wide in surprise and her lips are parted slightly.

“Oh. My. Stars and moon above.” She says, staring with eyes agape.

“Why hello.” You say. You do “the face.” Moderately impressed, but socially distant.

The unicorn quickly walks in. Her tail swishes inside and the booth’s door gently closes on its own. She gapes at you some more.

“Do you believe me now, Trisha?” You say, leaning forward a bit. You smile.

An instant and powerful blush flows into the cheeks of the unicorn as she nearly swoons backwards. Yet instead her neck cranes forward and her eyes are sparkling as they reflect the multicolored room.

“Amazing... I thought at best it would be another illusionist like me, but no... this is amazing... this is something else!” She says. She cranes her neck around and studies you.

Huh. Her voice sounds a tad... different than you expected.

She steps up to the booth and quickly hops into the seat.

“So! Oh my hoofness. I can’t believe it’s really a human. A real human right here in ZH!” She gushes. She giggles nervously. She can’t take her eyes off you.

“Yeah. I was just in the area when I saw your post. Seems pretty rare to find someone interested in... my kind.” You say cooly.

You lean forward on your elbow towards the mare.

“But you seemed pretty cool. Still do. But you seemed pretty cool as well.” You say.

Classic.

The unicorn begins to giggle nervously, her face lowers and she hides her shaky smile.

You lean back. “Well, you must have some questions. Feel free to ask away...”

You wave a hand casually.

“Then maybe I can ask you a few things...” You say. Add subtle tweak of the eyebrows. God, you’re a man-whore.

“Uhm... well...” The unicorn squeaks. She strokes a hoof over her mane. She pauses before glancing down to her purse.

“Let’s do this first.” She reaches a hoof inside and then levitates a small metal flask out of the bag. She giggles with giddy anticipation. Two miniature wine glasses also raise up out of her purse before being placed on the table. The magic aura fades.

“A little... pocket champagne to celebrate.” She says, unscrewing the cap.

Huh. A strange mare pouring you a drink she snuck in through her purse. You quirk an eyebrow. This feels a bit off.

“Hm, well, uh...” You say. She is already excitedly pouring a sparkling gold liquid into both glasses.

One of the glasses scoots across the table to you before stopping abruptly by your fingertips.

You look down at the fizzing, bubbling liquid. The shifting hues of the small room’s lights make it change into a froth of kaleidoscopic bubbles.

“I uh, I gave up alcohol a while back. Sorry.” You say.

“Oh, no worries. This is grape juice.” She says happily.

Shit. You feel a hot wave of panic set in.

She looks at you for a moment before raising her glass. “Oh I can’t stand alcohol either. It always makes me dizzy. I just was, like, you know... calling it champagne for a giggle.”

You force an awkward smile. You grip the tiny glass with your fingers.

“I just wanted it to feel a bit more...” She says, shrugging. “Special.” She downs the shot of sparkling grape juice in one gulp.

You watch her swallow. Then quickly you tilt back the glass. You set it down on the table. You swallow.

You didn’t see her put anything in, but just in case, it would be best to contact the others. You slowly move your hand under the table towards your front pants pocket.

You smirk at the mare. “Well, that’s... adorable. I hope your other tastes are a bit more adult, however.” You say.

Trisha is feeling a bit more confident now. She leans forward on her hoof.

“Oh, honey... you have no idea.” She says.

You slip your hand into your front pocket. You feel for the receiver.

“So,” You say as you tilt your head, “About those diamond dogs you conjure up...”

Fuck. Where is it? You put it right here.

Trisha titters. “Oh, those old illusions? Why...” She says.

Suddenly, Trisha’s voice drops. She sounds a lot deeper.

“It’s all just smoke and mirrors.” Trisha says with a stallion’s voice.

Your eyes go wide. You reach into your other front pocket quickly.

“Looking for this?” Trisha slaps the receiver onto the counter. She grinds it with her hoof and you hear the snap of plastic.

Fight or flight mode. You choose flight. You try to turn and bolt from the seat but your tie is caught in something. A magic aura.

“Fuck off-” You say as you yank your tie.

You are suddenly struck by what feels like the paw of a grizzly bear.

Your neck twists. You feel like you’re falling. Darkness.