Anonymous in Nu-Questria

A cold splash of water is what you come to. You gasp for air. Rivulets of water run down your face.

You blink your eyes and see a dark room illuminated by a single bright, hot light. Your chest is cold. You have no shirt. Ropes pull at your pectorals and biceps. Your feet are cold, too. Your pants are still on. Thank fuck. You scan the room quickly.

Restraints on wrists and legs. Tied to heavy wooden chair. Concrete ground. Metal table nearby. Rusty drain in the floor. Focus. Remember details.

You shiver. Your neck is stinging with a dull pain that rolls in waves. It feels bruised.

“Wakey, wakey. My little human.”

You hear the sinister tone of a teenage stallion. High-pitched hoofsteps sound off in the shadows.

A metal chair is dragged across the floor with a dim orange aura. It squeals along the floor with a horrible noise. It moves into the edge of the circle of light, several feet away.

The body of the young adult stallion appears. He is slender, like Trisha. Yet his mane is a curly, black mess of strands and his androgynous face now looks boyish without the aid of concealing makeup.

He is glowering at you with the hate of a ancient celestial god.

“Disappointed? Expecting somepony else?!” He says. “You filthy fucking degenerate. You insufferable pig skin monkey. Hahah.”

He grins viciously as he takes a seat on the chair, leaning forward into the light. “You just couldn’t help yourself, could you, Mr. Anonymous?” He says.

“I knew you’d take the bait...” He says with an elongated sigh. ”So predictable... one more mare to add to your list!”

“Fuck you.” You say. “You’re making a gigantic mistake by doing this.” Your fists ball up. Your arms strain against the restraints. “My fri-”

“Oh! Oh! You mean your friends, right? Your friends? They’re coming to save you, huh? Those mares you already added to your little... herd.” He says. Every word is filled with venom.

Your body tenses.

“A stallion too, huh? How low can you get? I bet you didn’t even care what you found under my dress, huh? Hahah.” He says, laughing mockingly.

“Look... man, you have got this all wrong.” You say. “All I wanted was information from you. That was it. If you’re on some sort of justice kick trying to take down inter-species perverts, you have the completely wrong idea.” You say.

He sneers and lurches off his seat.

“That’s... what you think this is about?” He says quietly. Long shadows creep over his face as he keeps stepping forward towards you.

He stops.

“Are you mentally impaired? Hm? Perhaps a bit of memory loss after... you know-” He says. He then clacks his hoof against his skull. “Your little accident?”

Your eyes go wide.

“You see, I know a lot about you, human. Pipp Petals introduced me right to you from the very beginning. Don’t you remember?”

You can do nothing but seethe.

He flips a light switch with a burst of magic. A monitor sitting back on the table turns on. There’s a picture of you. You’re sitting in the cot in the medical tent of the campsite. Your surprised expression is reminiscent of a cave-dwelling neanderthal. You have a bandage wrapped around your head.

He then turns the monitor off. “What, did you think your friend Sunny was the only pony that researched ancient creatures? Did you really think no other ponies would be interested in finding out about an mythological specimen just showing up out of nowhere?” He says.

“I knew what you were from the start, you ape. I know exactly who and what you are.” He says.

“H-how?” You ask.

He tilts his head to the side casually.

“Hah, you really are dense! You idiot! Isn’t it obvious?!” He throws his head back.

He tilts his body angling it underneath the light. He raises up one forehoof and sticks out his hind leg. He swishes his mane aside in an exaggerated mare-like manner. His cutie mark is on display. It’s a white question mark with a dotted black outline. The dot has been replaced with an X like a treasure map.

“Don’t I look even a little bit familiar to you? Huh? Can you even guess?!” He says with a sinister sneer.

What the fuck does that mean? Wait... no. The green coat? The unicorn lineage? The obsession with bipedal creatures? He can’t seriously be thinking...

Your head droops. You take a breath and slowly shake your head.

“Yes!” The stallion says. “There you go! Hahah!” He says, laughing coldly.

You can’t believe him. It doesn’t work like that. You and Lyra tried so many times to make something work, but... even rearing a foal proved to be impossible.

“Oh this is simply delicious. So what should I call you, huh? My great-great-great-great-great grandfather?” He chuckles to himself as he sways on his hooves.

“Hahah!” He laughs, throwing his head back.

He takes a bold step forward. He starts to creeps towards you slowly.

“We’re related, Anonymous. I’m your kin. That means you owe me something. Something for bringing me into this world as a fucked up, broken stallion just because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants.”

“W-wait.” You say, slowly leaning back.

He glances up at you hesitantly.

“What you said is impossible. We never had children. Lyra and I never...” You say, trying to chose your words carefully.

He trots up to you. His eyes are burning with hints of orange in the brown. He bares his nubby rows of teeth. His greasy mane runs around his eyes in bunchy strands.

He sits down on the floor a few feet away.

“Don’t deny it.” He says. “I’ll prove it to you.”

He raises up one of his hooves. His long, unshorn green fetlocks fold down.

His horn lights up. The heart-shaped groove on his hoof glows with a pale orange light and a misty magic emanation flows forth.

It forms into the shape of a bear claw. No, wait. The pads on the paw look almost wolf-like. It’s a-

“You know what this is, right? It’s a diamond dog paw spell.” He says.

The oversized claws on the ghostly paw bend and articulate individually as he flexes it.

“They are so very powerful. These claws never get dull, you know. Perfect for chipping away at stone, dirt, wood...” He says, admiring his paw.

“How do you think I got this spell, human?” He asks.

“Uh...” You say. Your memory is hazy. The adrenaline rush from the situation isn’t helping either.

He clasps the paw on your forearm.

“Think. Monkey.” He clenches the paw. The sharp, shovel-like claws dig into your flesh, piercing it with the tips. Rivulets of blood trickle from the wounds, and pain shoots up to your shoulder.

“Gah! F-fuck!” You say.

You suddenly think of something.

“T-the uh... spellbook! Lyra wrote. She wrote a spellbook.” You say.

“Good. Very good.” He says in a mocking tone. He releases his grip.

He lets his spell dissolve and his horn stops glowing. He spins away from you and steps towards the table.

But that book was barely distributed. You helped Lyra write it and tried to get it published, but it didn’t sell many copies. What pony would want a spell for human hands? You thought all the copies were destroyed by now. Rotted away.

He spins back towards you, his horn is levitating a book.

It is a hardcover book bound in a glossy mint green color. The cover is very worn and scratched from time, but you can still make out the shape of the embossed symbol on the front. Her harp.

Your head lowers as the realization towers above your head.

He’s used Lyra’s methods for his own obsessive passion. Even if you aren’t related, in some way, you have created what you see before you. You enabled Lyra to write the book.

“You guessed it. I’m actually a little impressed.” He says.

“Great grand-mare had some brilliant ideas. They just needed a little tweaking. She was interested in the wrong kind of mammal. That’s all.” He explains.

He drops the book and it slaps hard against the ground.

He gives you a condescending look, the aura of his corrupted power is around him.

“I know how you treat ponies, human. I know your true nature. I found out about your little story with Ms. Heartstrings. I also watched you work your charms on Ms. Moonbow. You enjoy making ponies into play-things, don’t you? Things for you to abuse and throw away.” He says scornfully.

“Well I think it’s time you got a taste of what that’s like... heheh.” He says. He sits down on the floor comfortably again.

He leans forward, leering with his thin yellowed eyes behind his black strands of mane. His horn pierces the dark void above him.

“I’m making you a deal monkey. Listen closely, because I’m only saying this once. Become my slave. Or, I’ll put you down right here, right now.” He says.

“What?” You say.

Fuck. You didn’t think he’d push an ultimatum on you so quickly. Is he bluffing? Maybe you can stall to buy yourself some time.

“Tick. Tock. Anon.” He says.

“Wait, what are the conditions for this... arrangement? Exactly.” You ask. Fuck, don’t panic, think.

He rolls his eyes. “Ugh... it’s simple, you idiot. You will help me steal all the most powerful magic artifacts in Equestria. Starting with, of course, those little crystals your marefriends have. Then...”

Oh. So he’s the one who stole the amplification crystal.

He leans forward a bit. “Then we bring back the glory of Equestria. The real Equestria. The one you know. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want that now, right? Heheh...”

He tilts his head with a disgusted expression.

“If you’re a good little pet monkey... I might even throw you a mare and a small plot of land. How does that sound? A nice peasant lifestyle in my glorious empire.”

You decide to try and act dumb. “Wait. You mean... it was you, right?”

He sighs and rolls his eyes again. “Yes, monkey.”

“You stole the artifact? The big crystal amplification one. That resonates with the magic ka-jiggers and what not. Right?” You ask.

You smile awkwardly.

The stallion smugly examines you.

Suddenly, he whips his head towards you and his horn glows with hot, bright orange. A sharp claw dances and flicks across your cheek, putting a gouge in your flesh. You feel the hot sting of pain and wince.

“Shut up.” He says.

"Wait-" You say.

There’s another bright spark from his horn, and you feel a huge paw press into your throat. You are pushed backwards into your seat, and it tilts askew from the force.

You struggle and choke. Your fingernails grip into the armrests. Your feet wiggle and try to find leverage.

“The choice I gave you was simple. Now choose!” He shouts.

He releases you. Your head whips forward and you inhale deeply.

He paces around the room slowly. “I have no problem cutting you open. I might learn something from dissecting your body. Maybe find out why that thing between your legs keeps finding its way into innocent mares that don’t know any better.“ He says.

You catch your breath and clear your throat. Blood dribbles down your cheek. You spit out onto the concrete floor.

“I didn’t fuck Izzy! I swear.” You say. You clear your throat again.

“Don’t lie, fuck-brain. I know what you are. Your usefulness to me is running out by the second.” He says. “So choose.”

He takes a few careful steps forward. Tears are forming in his eyes. He’s one fucked up little colt. Why is he doing this?

You scowl. You glare at him and try to ignore the claws.

He’s breathing hard.

You relax a bit in your seat. Need to de-escalate.

“Alright. Alright. You’re in control, okay? I’m not trying to fight you.” You say. You swish your fingers dismissively. “I just have one more tiny little question, and I promise-”

“What?” He says.

You look side to side nervously. Fuck.

“So... I would get a life in the countryside, right?” You say.

“Yes.” He replies curtly.

“And I would get to choose a mare?” You say.

“You would be... assigned. One. Mare.” He says, burning coldly in the darkness.

“Okay... so also you’re saying that Lyra or someone figured out how to fertilize mares eggs with human sperm. How does that work... exactly?” You ask. You grin sheepishly.

The unicorn stallion brims with rising anger. His horn sparks.

There’s a flash of tangerine sparks as a huge claw appears and drops downward in a quick motion. The claw spikes into seat of your chair and splinters the wood right next to your balls. Your body freezes and your mouth locks up.

The stallion spins around and levitates the metal chair from behind himself. He grabs it out of midair and slings it into the wall.

You cringe as the chair makes a terrible din. It scrapes against the wall and tumbles onto the floor.

“Ask me that question again, I dare you!” He says, looking at you and panting hard.

“It was just a question! It’s important that I know!” You shout.

It isn’t important. He doesn’t seem convinced. He canters up towards you angrily. He manifests a huge ghostly paw and levels it towards your restrained torso. His body tenses as his horn sparks and glows like an orange, smoldering ember.

Nothing you are doing is working. You’ve fucked up once again. You pray that you wake up back on Earth. You close your eyes.

For some reason, you have a vision of Sunny, standing in the tent, cradling her journal to her chest. She’s smiling warmly, her friends are all behind her.

“Wait!!” You shout at the top of your lungs.

He stops, raising his head up slowly. You pant heavily and drop your head.

“I don’t care if you kill me. Really, I don’t.” You say. You raise your head up slowly. “There’s nothing left for me in this world. Nothing but pain and heartbreak. The Equestria I know and its people are gone. I can’t bring it back. I can’t help you... but please.”

“Please don’t hurt them. They don’t need to be a part of this. Please don’t hurt my friends.” You plead.

“Aww... playing the sympathy card?” He says.

“I mean it. That’s my only request. Please.” You say truthfully.

“Tsk. Tsk. Hahah. Here I thought you might have been a bit more interesting.” He says. “Given that you’re a human and all.”

His horn sparks and glows. The clawed hand reappears in front of you. “Did you lose what made you special? All I see in front of me is another pathetic stallion... too scared to do what’s needed.” He says.

“Goodbye, human. It’s been... fun.” He says. He flashes a grin.

“Whatever. Just get it over with you fucking dirty dog fucker!!” You yell at him.

He pauses. Tears well up in his eyes and he grits his teeth. “D-dog fucker?” He says.

Suddenly the door to the room rumbles violently.

He turns slowly towards it as his magic fades.

The door rumbles again. Then it explodes open.

A mass of pony, quintuple strong rushes into the room. Hitch and Izzy, of course, leading the charge.

“Fuck you, asshole!” Izzy says gleefully as she bounces into the room. Her horn glows hot pink.

The unicorn stallion in front of you shimmers with a fuchsia aura. He raises up off the floor. He screams and flails his hooves wildly before he slams back down like a rag doll.

Izzy repeats the process several times as she trots up to you and the stallion. Her eyes follow him up and down as he ricochets off the floor.

Suddenly, Izzy drops him midair. Zipp comes out of nowhere and digs her back hoof directly into his gut with a flying kick. His body flops across the ground, and he crumples against the wall, still and unmoving.

“Anon!” Izzy says, her eyes light up and he rushes towards you. She leans up and jumps into your lap. She hugs you tight.

The other ponies all crowd around you. Zipp and Pipp hover in the air nearby.