Chapters September 4th, 2021
Well, my life is interesting, to say the least.
I got “borrowed” by Nightmare Moon to be her student in 2020. Why? She needed me to do some cool Jewish stuff to try and best Daybreaker. I spent ten thousand years in frozen time training with her to be ready for Daybreaker. Apparently, she had a student named Twilight Sparkle who was too pure for her own good. She found out what her teacher did and defected, joining us. I taught her a few things along the way, too! Push comes to shove, I fight Daybreaker, she kills my teacher, I get mad and ascend into an alicorn.
Yeah, still crazy when I think about it 20 months later. I was able to fly, use magic, and do other cool stuff. I tried my best to beat Daybreaker, but I couldn’t do it on my own. Thankfully, the Magic of Friendship proved to be handy during the fight. Sadly, we reached an impasse and I was sent back home to Earth, unable to exact my pound of flesh. For the next 20 months, I tried going back to my normal life the best I could, getting into a good college with straight A’s, and made my mom and sister proud.
And then everything came back. All the pony stuff.
I am getting ready for Rosh Hashanah, which is two days away. It was also a Shmitta year coming up, so it was an EXTRA special Rosh Hashana. I put away all of mom’s groceries again while I was listening to a lecture on the Sabbatical cycle in Israel. Chores suck, especially when you don’t have alicorn-tier superpowers to make it easier! Anyway, I finally got all my stuff done, and mom let me go back to my room to continue learning.
I saw Luna’s seal poking out of my bookshelf, and I thought for a moment about the time we spent together.
“Noah “Jewnicorn” Weinstein, Doth thou heareth me?”
Woah, I must be hallucinating. That sounds almost EXACTLY like my teacher, but if she was in Shakespeare’s England.
Even if it was her, the connection to our worlds was severed almost two years ago. No way it could be a Luna.
Until I realized that the letter mentioned a different Equestria .
“Noah... We are in need of thy help. ‘Tis a matter of great importance and involves thy brilliant mind.”
No. Bucking. Way! It is Princess Luna, but where is she coming from? My head? The walls?
And then, I feel something I haven’t felt in two years. MAGIC COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS. AND ALICORN MAGIC AT THAT!
A portal opens in front of me, revealing a familiar cosmic purple alicorn.
NO! BUCKING! WAY! It's Princess Luna! I am freaking out! I missed her so much!
“Jewnicorn, hurry u-”
I hugged her as tightly as I could. "“I am so happy to see you, Luna! I missed you so much! Those ten millennia of frozen time we had together were the best years of my life! Well, the other Luna, but you get the point.”
Returning the embrace, and planting a gentle kiss on my forehead, Luna chuckles.
“Well, it ties in quite well with thy magic skill set, involving memory and time. A pony by the name of Starlight Glimmer opened a school for young fillies and colts, and she needs somepony who knows about time to find out about other universes. Art thou ready to become Alicorn of Time once again?”
"Are you kidding me?! Of course! I've been wanting to go back to Equestria for TWO YEARS! I missed you so much!" I say, elated that somehow the multiverse allowed for this miracle to occur.
"Well then, follow us, Noah. We have plenty of things to do!" Luna says, walking through the portal in my room.
I follow my teacher into the portal, letting my alicorn form come to me once again.
I’m finally home.
Chapter 1: New Equestria, Same Boss
As the portal between worlds closes behind me, I exit the portal in the air! I am a bit taken aback by this, because I was both not expecting this kind of exit, and I am not a good flier. I only got to use my wings for a few minutes before Daybreaker and I made that deal to save everypony by sending me back to Earth!
Thankfully, being an alicorn comes with some good reflexes, and my body quickly adjusts to the altitude, allowing me to hover in place for a minute. I don’t recognize where we are, and the first thought I have is to scan the timeline.
“Boss? You asked me to come with you, but you didn’t tell me when we are. I assume that the Luna from my universe told you about my time powers. I need some time to adjust to this universe’s frequency.”
Luna looks me dead in the eye, confused. “What doth thou mean, Jewnicorn? We are in 2021, the Common Era!” she replies, flying towards a castle. I vaguely recognize it, but I am not in the mood to question anything right now. Slowly adjusting to my alicorn body, I fly next to her, wondering where exactly my boss is taking me.
“Any idea where we are going, Luna?” I ask her. She doesn’t reply. I guess it must be a surprise? After fifteen minutes of flight, we arrive at the castle, which is swarmed by dozens of pegasi guards. I wonder what’s the deal with all the security? It doesn’t matter, anyways. Two of the guards open a massive door at the front of the castle, revealing somepony that I swore to eliminate, somepony that still haunts my nightmares even two years later.
Princess Celestia.
“Noah, we advise thee to NOT engage in combat with our sister. We assure you that Celestia in this timeline is as benevolent as us. Be at ease.” Luna says, seeing that I am already tense from just looking at Princess Celestia.
“I can assure you that my sister is correct. I don’t even know what a Daybreaker is!” She says. I am still a bit skeptical, but she seems to be under control. I don’t plan on becoming best friends with her any time soon, but I am under the impression that this isn’t the last time I will be seeing her.
“I know you have a lot of trauma, Jewnicorn. My sister Luna told me everything. I promise you that I am not the mare you fought two years ago. I will do whatever I can to accommodate you. In fact, I believe I actually need to congratulate you.”
Congratulate me? What could she possibly have to congratulate me for? I didn’t do anything that special. Hell, I didn’t even defeat Daybreaker, the Elements of Harmony did. I just made it a bit easier for them, if I’m being being totally honest/
“Congratulate me? For what? I am an 18 year old colt with nothing to do but help a friend out.” I say sheepishly, unsure what Celestia wants to celebrate.
“Well, in our continuity, the last stallion alicorn was over 50,000 years ago. Most stallions weren’t able to ascend. We still don’t seem to know why there is a great disparity between the sexes in alicornhood. Right now, it is just me, my sister, Princess Twilight, Cadence, and her newborn foal Flurry Heart. You are the only stallion alicorn. I think that deserves a round of applause, no? It did take you ten millennia to get there. Not everypony has the gift of immortality like us!” Celestia says, clapping her forehooves in approval of my accomplishment.
“Anyways, I have a lot of free time on my hooves, since Luna and I abdicated from the throne.”
Wait, WHAT? Why would the two sisters abdicate? Don’t they need to raise the sun and moon? I don’t get it.
“Hold on one second. Boss, how could you and Celestia abdicate? Won’t the sun and moon collapse on themselves without their diarchy?” I ask, a bit nervous at this bombastic statement and the consequences that this could have.
“Well, we just gave the powers of the sun and moon to Twilight, of course!” Celestia says nonchalantly. “There is a fifteen-year gap in time between this Equestria and the one you are used to. Everypony you know is a bit older. Frankly, Twilight looks like me now. She’s taller and fairer!” Celestia adds, very proud of her student.
In my full alicorn state, I can see everything on the timeline, and in theory, I could time travel, too! I never really had any opportunity to experiment with alicorn magic during my fight, but I don’t think now is a good time to do so, either. I sense some dark energy in the relatively near future, and I fly over ten years to see what is going on. I see something horrific:
EQUESTRIA HAS TEN YEARS LEFT OF HARMONY BEFORE CHAOS AND HATRED WILL TAKE OVER. THE PONIES AND OTHER RACES WILL SEPARATE, AND MAGIC WILL CEASE IN THE LAND!!
I quickly fly back to the present and I realize that Twilight is going to buck up REALLY badly.
“You were about to say something, Jewnicorn?” Celestia asks me, a bit intrigued by my short distraction. Does this Celestia know how to stop time or anything like that? I pray to G-d she doesn’t!
“Sorry, I lost my train of thought,” I replied. Technically that’s true!coronate you as the Prince of Night and Time .
Wait, WHAT? A coronation? A prince? I am not royalty! This is all crazy! What about the timeline going to hay in ten years, with hatred and all that? Guess that’ll have to wait as I am being dragged into the palace by Luna, where plans are already being made for my coronation.
“Wait, when is this coronation? Can my sister come? She got "ponified" two years ago.” I ask Luna, who nods.
“Of course, Rivka can come! We have already been to her dreams, and she is more than willing to attend! She knew before you, to be honest. We would be honored for thy sister to attend the coronation in one moon’s time.” Luna says, roughing up my mane.
“And what about the colt’s mother?” Celestia asks, interested in her potential attendance.
“Of course, ‘Tia, the colt’s mother shall attend, too!”
Well, I have a timeline to save, and I am becoming a prince?!?! This is all too crazy!
A coronation?
A BUCKING CORONATION?!
I am losing my mind right now. This totally came out of left-field. For the two years I spent on Earth, my magic was sealed completely, and I wasn’t able to access the timeline at all, let alone fly or use basic magic. It would have been nice to have just a little heads up that I was to become Prince of the Night and Time! Even a subliminal hint would have been better than having Celestia spill the beans!
“Noah...Noah...JEWNICORN! ART THOU OKAY?” Luna says, flying to my side as I am a bit dizzy and overwhelmed from this announcement.
“Yes, I am fine. I am just a bit shell-shocked. I mean, I am from the Davidic line on my mother’s side, but I am not the Messiah or anything. So...MAYBE royalty, but probably not.” I reply as she uses her magic to bring a mirror closer to me.
“Shell shocked is fine. Somepony from Carousel Boutique in Ponyville is coming imminently to take thy measurements, we don’t want to keep them waiting, especially if it’s Rarity!” Luna says as I look at myself in the mirror. I lost weight since I was last a pony, a good ten pounds or so! Guess my continuous exercise on Earth in the event of my return to Equestria paid off!
“‘Tia, one does not eavesdrop on a conversation! Especially with our favorite pupil!” Luna says sternly to her sister.
“Well, even if we abdicated, you are still my filly sister, so I can do what I want!” Celestia says, jokingly, causing my teacher to laugh.
Hm? They get along quite nicely! This is a relief. I was half expecting a crazy fire-breathing mare who wanted me turned into glue. I am more at ease that this is not the case. I notice a little bit of dirt in my wing, and I use magic to clean it. Must’ve hit a dust bunny or something as I was flying here, I guess?
“NOAH! Somepony here wants to see you!” Celestia says, spawning in front of me.
“Ok, who wants to see me?” I ask, unsure of where Celestia is going with this.
“Nopony other than the reigning sovereign of Equestria herself, princess Twilight Sparkle! She’ll be arriving right-”
And before Celestia could say “now” a mulberry purple mare, as tall as both my teacher and her sister, perches herself on the balcony where I landed a half-hour ago.
“Well well well. Looks like we have a new alicorn in the family. What is it you people say? “Mazel Tov!” She says, sure of herself that this was the correct congratulatory expression.
I blush. Obviously, this Twilight isn’t as learned in Jewish stuff as the one from my timeline, but the sentiment is nice.
“Um, hi? I don’t know you that well, and frankly, I didn’t know the OTHER Twilight that well. It’s good to be acquainted after two years.” I say, with a smile.
“It’s okay. By the way, I was the version of Twilight that figured out how to get you here, so a “thank you” would be nice?” She says dryly. At least there is ONE constant between the two Twilight Sparkles: no sense of sarcasm. To be fair, I have the same problem, but I digress.
“Thanks, Princess. I was quite bored on Earth, to be frank with you.” I replied candidly.
“Oh! I almost forgot! I have a present for you!” Twilight says, before using magic to place a medium-sized box on the floor next to me.”
“PRESENTS?!? WE LOVE PRESENTS!” Luna says, running to open the box before I had a chance to even do so.
Might as well flex my time power now. It HAS been two years since I froze time. Wonder if I can still do it?
Ahem: “זאוואדו! עצור את הזמן! !!" (Time! grind to a halt!). Everything and everypony freezes in place, including all three of the other alicorns.
“עברה שנייה אחת”. (one second has passed)
“Well, this is nice. At least I can think out loud in frozen time in this universe. Now, to gently move my teacher out of the way.” I say, using my magic to move her a few meters to the side, while also fixing up the present that Twilight brought for me.
“חלפו שתי שניות” (Two seconds have passed)
Don’t need frozen time anymore for this task. I made my point.
“הזמן יזרום שוב.” (time will flow once again) I say, resuming the flow of time. “Still got it, Jewnicorn, still got it!” I think to myself with a grin as I see Luna look confused and startled.
“What? We were just about to open Jewnicorn’s present- NOAH! WHY DID THOU FREEZE TIME ON US?!”
Twilight was a bit taken aback. “Did...Did Princess Luna just say pause time? ” The very thought made the mare shiver to the core.
“What? Nopony told you that one magic spell you can use as a time guardian is freezing time? You live under a rock or something?”
Twilight decided not to answer that question. I use my magic to lift the box up and open it. I wonder what the present could be?
It’s the weirdest thing. Looks like a puzzle with three pieces. Wonder what it does?
“This thing over here is the source of all magic in Equestria, well, the source for everypony that isn’t an alicorn, since we source our own magic. I figured since you are a time pony, you should have this. Seems more fitting for you than it does for me. We all know soft power is the real power. I am busy working on friendship stuff and running a government. I’ll leave the time travel and stuff to you!”
Do I tell her that the other Equestria is a parliamentary democracy? Best not. She just got me a cool gift! Oh my, this seems like foreshadowing for something important, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I carefully analyze the artifact and see that it can be split into three pieces in equal size and mass. I am tempted to break it apart, but I realize it would be best not to.
“Oh, the Council of Friendship is going to be at your coronation, too! Everypony is so excited, but Pinkie Pie, well, she’s Pinkie Pie. She has a foal now, too!
Wait, what? How much time passed in this continuity? Quickly scanning the timeline, I realize that we are 15 years ahead from where I left off in the other timeline. WOAH, trippy. 15 years passed, and ten years left before everything hits the fan?
Hmm, I wonder how this could turn out for Twilight? I don’t want to scan the timeline too much, so I don’t go insane, but what could she possibly do to screw everything up?
I’ll think about that later. “Jewnicorn. Who would you rather go tell your family about the coronation? Me, your teacher, Twilight, or yourself?” Celestia asks me, switching to a more lighthearted subject.
“Well, didn't Luna already say she told my sister through dreams?” I ask, trying to remember what the lunar mare had to say already.
“Thou art correct. What we are not sure about is whether to make thy sister a pegasus once again, or leave her in her natural state. We don’t want to alarm thy mother.”
Horseapples! I didn’t even think about Mom. She probably doesn’t even know about my whole time as the Jewnicorn. I love her to bits, but I don’t think she is open-minded enough to find out her firstborn son is an immortal prince of time.
“Yes”
“Do you have ponies there?”
“What do you mean? We have equines, but they aren’t like us, they are...well...how do I put it? Not sentient? Only earth ponies?”
“Interesting. So your mother would probably freak out, seeing magical talking ponies?” Twilight brightly deduces for herself.
“Most likely,” I reply.
“Well, this poses a predicament. I wonder if we give your mother the pony treatment, whether she’ll feel better about it?” Twilight thinks about this idea for a minute.
“Well, you were a unicorn before you ascended, and your sister is a pegasus, right?” Twilight says, quickly spawning a chalkboard and drawing a Punnett Square.
“So, your dad must have been a unicorn then, right?” Twilight asks, unknowingly opening up a HUGE can of worms.
“Well, remember we were all human first, and my father is dead to me. May he rot.” I say, trying not to cause a commotion.
“Wait, you don’t love your dad? From the brief reading I did about your reality, honoring your parents is a prime commandment, no?” Twilight further interrogates me on the matter. My mane starts emitting cyan magic, but only in small bursts.
“My...my dad abandoned us when I was 10. Found a younger, hotter mare to live with.” I say. Quickly trying to change the subject, I summon a quill and parchment and begin writing down a list of things that I want for my coronation.
“Smart move, my boy, trying to change the subject.” Luna applauds me telepathically.
“I must have hit a nerve, sorry Jewnicorn.” Twilight says, quickly realizing she made a big mistake.
I finish writing down my list of stuff I want for my coronation, and I hand it to Luna.
“Hm? Thy list is rather brief. Art thou sure this is all thy wish to have for thy coronation?” Luna asks me, a bit surprised at my lack of pizazz .
“Well, The only thing that I 100% NEED to have is a kosher kitchen and no tree nuts. Everything else would be great as a surprise!” I say honestly.
“A colt with standards. I can get behind that in a prince!” Twilight says, appreciative of my decision.
“Well, you don’t have to worry about Kashruth, because ponies are herbivores! Everything we eat is Pareve or Dairy!” Celestia says.
Holy smokes! That’s true. In two years being back on Earth, I got back to using my omnivorous diet, and I totally forgot I can’t digest meat as a pony. This makes things SO much easier!
“So, that fixes this. Only thing I NEED is a nut-free party. Allergies SUCK!” I say, to which Luna nods.
“Very well. We shall send this request to Pinkie Pie at once, and she shall make the party of thy dreams!” Luna says, roughing up my mane.
“Hey, don’t do that! It takes me a good 20 minutes to not look like a slob in the morning!” I say, quite annoyed with my teacher.
“Well, your coronation is in thirty days. If I was you, I’d have Luna go pick up your sister!” Twilight says, opening a multiversal portal to my house in Monsey.
“Doth thou wish to come with us?” Luna asks me.
“Sure, I don’t see why not. Are we picking up my mom and my sister, or just my sister?”
“Just thy sister for now. Tell me, Noah, doth thou prefer bringing Rivka here as a human or as a pegasus?”
“Not sure. Don’t want to cause a commotion, so let’s ponify her, I guess?”
Guess my baby sister is in for a rude awakening!
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Chapter 3: Sunny Learns About the Legend of the Jewnicorn
MARETIME BAY: 2250 CE
It is a calm, gentle night in Maretime Bay. A young orange Earth Pony named Sunny Starscout is getting ready for bed. She lives with her father, Argyle Starshine, who is an avid historian and archaeologist, who studies Equestria’s imperial and magical past.
“Daddy, can you tell me a bedtime story?” The young filly asks her father, as she is getting more comfortable under her covers. Argyle laughs. He loves sharing his knowledge with his young daughter since she seems to have his sense of curiosity and intellect.
“Of course, Sunny. Anything that can help you fall asleep, AND teach you something important!” Argyle says, gently moving over to his daughter’s night light and turning it on, illuminating the room with a gentle, ombre light.
“Well, I told you a few nights ago that a long time ago, the three pony tribes used to coexist in harmony for thousands of years.”
“Yeah, Dad, you told me about the Elements of Harmony already, and Celestia and Luna, and Kirins, and-”
“A time-traveling what now? What’s a Jewnicorn? Is that another pony species that doesn’t exist anymore? TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME!”
“If you calm down and close your eyes, I will tell you, okay?”
Sunny does as she is asked, closing her eyes and trying to sleep, however she is jittering in her bed with excitement.
“Okay. The Jewnicorn was once a creature called a “human.” Humans live in another world, and used to come to Equestria all the time! I think my grandmare claimed to have met one, maybe she was the last pony to have met a human? What I do know is that humans stopped visiting Equestria once the magic disappeared.”
“Aww, that’s too bad. Do you think humans will come and visit if everypony gets along again like in the good old days?”
Argyle chuckles at his daughter’s optimism, although he thought it bordered on the naïve.
“Maybe. But can I finish?”
Sunny nods, her eyes still closed.
“Anyways, humans are a story for another day. The point is, this human was summoned to Equestria by Princess Luna herself, or more specifically, Nightmare Moon, her more moody, powerful form. She needed him to fight an evil mare named Daybreaker using highly advanced magic that not everypony knew about. That magic was the control of time . Legends say he could pause time for fifteen seconds, make time go by faster or slower, and even time travel to the past or future! With some help from the Elements of Harmony, the Jewnicorn was able to defeat Daybreaker with the Magic of Time and Friendship, and he became an alicorn.”
Sunny was enthralled by this story. How could a human become an alicorn? Something didn’t seem right to her.
“Hold on, dad. How can a HUMAN become an alicorn? I thought only unicorns and pegasi can become alicorns?” Sunny asks, trying to remember what her father taught her about Equestrian mythology.
“Well, Princess Luna turned the human into a unicorn to use magic, and his new body ascended from there. At least, that is what makes the most sense to me. To conclude, like all other alicorns, Jewnicorn was given the gift of immortality, so he still exists, somewhere to this day, waiting with his teacher Princess Luna for everypony to get along, so magic can come back to Equestria. I love you, Sunny. Sleep well, and may Luna watch over your dreams.” Argyle says, kissing his daughter on the forehead as she gently falls asleep.
Argyle quietly leaves his daughter’s bedroom and enters his study opposite the bedroom, where all of his notes, papers, and maps are. He thinks very carefully about his daughter’s nightlight, and the object inside it acting as a bulb.
“I think that this orb might be one of the Jewnicorn’s magic timepieces, but I don’t know for sure. I do know that I must keep it safe.’
His sigh came from the bottom of his barrel.
‘Oh, how I wish for somepony else to talk about this with.”, while carefully reading an old text about a potential dragon fossil found nearby.
Chapter 4: Getting Ready for the Coronation
I reenter the portal, and my human form returns to me. At least I can use magic again! Luna also transforms this time, into a young woman with purple hair!
“What are thy customs pertaining to modesty? Should we cover our hair?” Luna asks me as we both float a few feet off the ground in my room.
“Yeah, that would be wise,” I reply as Luna does just that, conjuring a shawl to place on her head that conforms with the modesty rules of my community. Looking around my room for a minute, I collect a few of my essential items and pack them into my backpack; namely my books, the letter that the other Luna wrote me, and my crudely drawn map of Equestria.
“Noah, what the hell is taking you so long to get out of be-,” My mother says, entering my room before noticing that her SON is floating a few feet off the ground with another woman with purple hair.
“Wh… what… what’s going on?!”, freaking out that her firstborn son is floating and seemingly using magic to put his things away, not to mention the portal in my bedroom!
“Well, Madam Weinstein, thy son is an immortal alicorn of time and space, and we are collecting his belongings to prepare for his imminent coronation!” Luna says, as my mother falls flat on the floor. Quickly acting, I used my magic to place her on my bed a few moments before she would have.
“My word, Noah. What happened to you? Who is this strange woman?!”, trying not to totally lose her composure.
“Oh, that’s Princess Luna, Mom!” My sister Rivka says, quickly coming into my room to make sure our mom is okay.
“Wait, you know this woman? What is wrong with both of you!?”, a bit concerned that her two children know who this mysterious woman is.
“Yeah, we both went on a magical adventure two years ago to save another universe. It was really cool!” Rivka says, reminiscing about her time as a pegasus. “I was able to fly! It was so cool!”
“A magical what now?!”
“Do the thing, Jewnicorn.” Luna says authoritatively, as I place my hand on my mother’s head, copying all of my memories, all ten millennia of them, into my mother’s brain. Quick spell Luna taught me around year 956 of frozen time!
My mother sheds a tear. “This...this pony has cared for you for ten thousand years? You… you fought someone who was dangerous to us and won? Why didn’t you tell me!?”
I laugh. “If I told you, you would have called me crazy, and I had Rivka’s memory wiped to save her any trauma, but Luna over here undid all that, since I am getting crowned as a prince in thirty days!”
My mom begins to cry. “But...Noah. You are immortal now. You won’t see any of us in a few short decades. That’s like a minute for you! Do you even love us anymore?!”, embracing me tightly as if I was leaving forever.
“Be at ease, Madam Weinstein. All will be okay with thy son. We merely wished to invite thee to the coronation in Equestria. That is all.”
“Well, I guess I’ll come, but turning me into a pony seems a bit weird, doesn’t it? Does transforming hurt?”
My sister laughs: “No, mom, it doesn’t. I got to fly, so maybe you will be able to fly, too? To be honest, I am not sure if you will become a unicorn or a pegasus, because that’s what we turned into.”
Only one way to find out, no? I float upwards a bit, still startling my mother, and fly through the portal. Luna follows suit, and so does my sister.
“Well, I am scared out of my wits, but my whole family just went through this portal like it was no big deal. Might as well!”, walking through the portal, which promptly closes behind her. I look behind me, to see that my mother, too, turns into a purple pegasus pony, although one of a darker shade of purple than my sister. Her cutie mark is that of a scale and gavel, as she’s a lawyer.
“You look great!” I say to my mother, who looks horrified that she has wings and hooves.
“You really think so? Can...can I fly?”
She experimentally flaps her wings and stomps her hooves a few times, succeeding after a few tries.
“Um, YEAH, you can fly, mom!” Rivka pipes in, flying above us in circles, elated to be a pegasus once again!
“We are glad to see that thy children are happy, madam Weinstein. Now. to discuss more important matters.”, as we all fly towards Celestia’s estate to prepare for the coming coronation.
***
Maritime Bay: 2250 CE
It was another calm night in Maretime Bay, and Sunny Starscout had many questions for her father about this “Jewnicorn” legend she heard a few nights prior. Brushing her teeth and doing some last-minute things before going to bed, Sunny went to her diary shortly after and began to write.
“Dear Princess Twilight,
I know you are still alive because alicorns can’t die. I have been writing questions for you if I am ever fortunate enough to meet you one day. I do suppose that will only happen if I’m able to reunite all of ponykind. Anyways, my dad told me a story about a “Jewnicorn” a few nights ago, and I am quite intrigued by this. Were there REALLY humans in Equestria? A stallion alicorn? Why hasn’t everypony heard of him? Did you know him? Were you two friends? ”
“I have so many more questions to ask you, but my dad wants me to go to bed. I can squeeze in one more for you. My dad found a feather in Maretime Bay a few weeks ago, and he claims that it belongs to you. Do...do you come and visit us? Leave a sign? Anyways, time for bed. I REALLY want to meet you one day!
Your faithful student,
Sunny Starscout”
Sunny finishes her last touches on her diary entry and climbs into her bed, where Argyle Starshine was already waiting for his daughter.
“I saw you were busy writing your letter to Princess Twilight. Didn’t want to disturb you.” He says, tucking his daughter under the covers.”
“Do you really think that feather belongs to Princess Twilight? Why would she come and visit an Earth Pony village?” Sunny asks her father, intrigued to hear his educated opinion on the matter.
Frankly, Argyle did not know what the feather was, or who it belonged to, but he held hope for both himself and his daughter’s sake that it was an Alicorn feather. “I think that maybe Princess Twilight wanted to see my artifacts? She must have come over while I was sleeping, like the Tooth Pony!” He says with a hearty chuckle. “I love you Sunny. Sweet Dreams!” Argyle says, embracing his daughter and returning to his study, as Sunny begins to fall asleep.
Chapter 5: Riding at Night
I don’t remember the last time I saw my mother this stressed about something. Here she is, in another universe with her two children, as a pony , going to see her son get crowned as a prince of night and time. I am already over it, but I don’t think my mother feels the same way. Besides her erratic flying, which I anticipated, I can see a lot of sweat on her muzzle.
“Um, Noah. I know you transferred ten millennia of memories into my puny human brain, but weren’t you scared at all when you met Princess Luna? I mean, I am still a bit horrified at the current circumstances!” My mom says, still flying erratically, while I am making sure that she doesn’t crash into the ground.
“Well, it’s a complicated story, I can tell you, if you want?” I replied.
“Oh, let me tell the story, Noah. I think you might have been a bit out of it during your first quantum jump!” My sister pipes in from behind.
“It all started on March 13, 2020. Noah was listening to a lecture online, and Luna just showed up and put a sleeping spell on him!”
“That is fallacious! We would never do something of that caliber!” Luna whines, trying to defend her variant.
“Well, Rivka is half-right . The other Luna did foalnap me, but it was more nuanced than that. Once I ascended to alicornhood, I realized that a lot of my “memories” must have occurred in a dreamlike state, so they only really came back to me then. Apparently, it was a lot cooler than that! Like, before she ponified me, she tried to calm me down with books and stuff, but I was still a bit spooked.
“Didn’t we allow thee to mount us for a test flight? We presume Rivka did the same thing?” Luna asks, as we get closer to Canterlot.
“Honestly, I dont kn-”
And then the memory came back.
***
“Noah, I need your help. Please calm down!” Nightmare Moon said to me (remember that this Luna was more adept in Modern English than the new one), trying to think of anything she could do to prevent me from acting up.
“You put f*cking chloroform on me and teleported me to the moon! How can I calm down?! Does that make any sense to you?” I cry, totally flabbergasted as to why I am in space in a giant castle.
“Look, you might be freaking out now, but I assure you that you are totally safe under my care. In fact, I have a good way of proving to you I am benevolent.” Nightmare said with a grin. “Wait one minute, and I will be right back. ” Luna teleported away, and I was left in a giant bedroom wondering what the hell this sapient horse wanted from me. Pacing around, and trying not to hyperventilate, I saw this “Nightmare Moon” come back with a few key additions, namely a saddle, bits, and reins.
What… what in G-d’s name is an eldritch-tier creature doing with horseback riding equipment?
“Uhh...what? What are you doing?” I asked, a bit confused by this turn of events.
“I am going to take you for a ride, silly. Isn’t that what humans use these for?” She asked rhetorically, knowing full well what the equipment is used for.
“I am more than acquainted with your reality, Noah. I know how humans treat their equines. While I might find it odd . It could prove to be a good way to get to know you. Besides, you are what? 16 years old? I’ve carried more apples than a kid your age!
Wait what? First this horse kidnapped me, and now she wants to take me for a ride? Where?
“Wait a sec…”Nightmare”, you can fly, right?” I asked, looking like an idiot.
She nodded.
“So that means...if I ride on you, we are going to fly ?”
She nodded, using something, probably magic to levitate me into the air and placed me in between her two cosmic black wings.
“Don’t want you to fall or anything, kid. Before we go. A little scratch on the ear would be nice? I have had human passengers before, and this is my way of asking for payment. Pretty please?” Nightmare said, looking at me with these really cute puppy dog eyes (or is it pony eyes?).
Well, what was I supposed to do. This “alicorn”, as she called herself, was a powerful entity. She could kill me if she wanted to, and she just wanted to play cowboy? I did as she asked, scratching her left ear. I felt her mane shake in front of me in pure bliss.
“Ahh, now, that is nice, indeed. I advise you, Noah, NOT to pull on these reins too hard. They are for your balance, not for you to control me. I trust you understand this?” She said, stomping a hoof into the ground, before carefully trotting towards the gate of her citadel.
“Well, you could have killed me at any point, and you just want to take me for a ride, so...I am going to play dumb for you, okay?” I said, gripping these reins like my life depended on it.
“Now, I assume you have never flown on an alicorn before, since there aren’t any on Earth. I only have one thing to ask of you. PLEASE, for the love of G-d, do not throw up on my mane. I work VERY hard to keep it clean. Ready, my little rider?” Nightmare said, spreading her wings in glee, knowing that I was probably going to freak out.
“Well, not everyday is someone kidnapped by an alicorn and taken on a joyride, so sure? ” Based on what I remembered from the one or two times I went horseback riding, I gently tapped my shoes against Nightmare’s barrel, signaling that I was ready.
“Oh, a change of heart, I see? Well, saddle up, kid!” Nightmare said, while raising her front hooves, and began galloping on the lunar surface, faster than any horse I have ever seen or ridden on.
“This is just a warmup. Gotta acclimate you to my awesomeness, kid. Now, ready to fly? ” She said, spreading her wings once more, for real this time.
“Don’t do anything crazy, Nightmare. I want to go home in one piece.” I said, gripping the reins in anticipation of what is to come.
“Here. We. Go!” She said, launching herself into the air at a 60 degree incline to reach the outer orbit of this moon. With each flap of her powerful wings, we got further and further away from the citadel.
“Hold on, how...how am I able to breathe in space?” I asked, while looking around at the vastness of space beneath us.
“Umm. I enchanted you before placing you on my back. I told you I need your help with something, and I wouldn’t want you to asphyxiate on the job!” She said, banking to the left.
“WOAH, don’t do that again so sharply, please? ” I asked, still terrified of this mare, but less so than before. There is something about her that I innately liked, but I didn’t know what it was at the time.
“You know, not everyhuman gets to ride on an alicorn princess. I picked the best for this job. Now, how would you like to travel supersonic , dear Noah?” Nightmare asked me rhetorically as she began to increase her velocity in space.
“Umm...will I die from this? ”. I asked, holding onto the reins for dear life, while closing my eyes.
“No, you are with me. Taking you on this flight is proving to you that even in a dangerous scenario, I will be there for you. Why don’t you get that yet? Apogee in three...two...one…”
“Okay, now this is epic .” I said silently to myself.
“Hm, did I hear you say something, rider? Are you enjoying yourself?” Obviously, I wasn’tquiet enough.
“Alright, you got me, Nightmare. What do you want me to do for you?”
***
“Wait, why would that awesome memory get wiped? It is ripped straight from “How to Train Your Dragon!” I exclaim, a bit annoyed I forgot that for some ten thousand years.
“Methinks it had something to do with the initial unicorn transformation?” Luna said, as we finally arrive at Celestia’s castle.
“Glad to see you brought some company, Jewnicorn!” Celestia says, popping out of nowhere as the four of us get all of our stuff together.
“Oh, I forgot to introduce myself to your mother! I am Princess Celestia, former diarch of the sun and co-ruler of Equestria. My sister and I abdicated to allow for my pupil Twilight Sparkle to rule in our stead.” She says, extending a hoof out to shake with my mom.
“Umm...I’m Jewnicorn’s mother, Ms. Weinstein.” My mom says, accepting the hoof and shaking hands.”
“DARLINGS. RARITY BELLE IS IN THE CITADEL! LET’S GO SEE THE CROWN PRINCE AND HIS LOVELY ENTOURAGE!” Somepony says from down the hall.
“I take it that’s the clothespony?” I ask Celestia.
“Yeah, Rarity Belle, AKA the Element of Generosity. I assume you met the other one, right?”
I nod. I wonder what kind of clothing I am going to get? Hopefully something nice!
Chapter 6: The Coronation
“Darling. You look fabulous!” Rarity says as she drags me along to the castle’s makeshift fitting room. My sister, eager to discuss fashion with Rarity, flies along behind me to see what kind of outfit I am going to get.
“I always love working with stallions, J-corn. They are very easy to commission outfits for, and there is more liberty in designing!”
Well, that’s a relief. I won’t be harassed over fittings and stuff. I remember back in Monsey when I needed to get a new suit, I was in and out in five minutes. Rarity worked her magic (literally), and within a few minutes, she finished drawing her diagrams for my coronation outfit. I was quickly sent out, and my sister was next.
“Oh, Darling. What a pretty filly you are! I will have you looking like royalty in no time!” Rarity said, guffawing over my sister’s mannerisms.
“Well, thank you, Miss Rarity. Just to let you know I am allergic to flax, so don’t use any. Thanks again!”
“No problem, darling!”
Meanwhile I am in a private room with Princess Luna and Twilight, and they are trying to explain the semantics of the coronation process.
“So, you are going to have your own castle, staff, an emergency hotline with us princesses, and of course, friendship lessons!”
Wait, what? Friendship lessons?
“Hold on, why do I need Friendship lessons?” I ask Twilight, who just chuckles.
“Well, you have 10 millennia of trauma from wanting to kill Daybreaker in that other timeline. You must be full of rage against a lot of creatures. We need to make sure you rule the timestream fairly and without bias. So… you will be going to Starlight’s Friendship school for intensive learning. I think you might like it!”
“We insist, J-corn. It is for thine-own good. What would thee do without a moral compass?”
“Well, I have Torah, that’s the best moral compass if I’ve ever heard of one!” I say in protest.
“Well, even with Torah, you still have stuff like the genocide of Amalek, if I recall correctly.” Twilight says, making me cringe.
“That was a metaphor… never mind. I am not going to argue with you. I’ll do your friendship school thing. Will that make both of you happy?”
Out of nowhere, a familiar and jovial voice rang out. Well, jovial for everypony else. Still gives me the creeps!
“It will make me happy most of all!”, as Sun-butt teleported into the room, cupcakes in hoof. Her sister facehoofed in response so hard that there ended up being an avalanche that saved a group of hikers from a Yeti.
“Tia, what did we say about spontaneous teleportation?!” Luna was mad, but hey, at least THIS Celestia wants to bring cupcakes, not cataclysms!
“Sorry, but you know me. I am ALWAYS interested in Friendship, privacy be darned! Now, who wants cupcakes?! We have a coronation to get ready for!”, sending the tray of cupcakes to the table where we were sitting.
“Mmm. Cupcakes!” I say, using magic to grab one vanilla cupcake with chocolate frosting from the tray.
“Love them! Thank you Celestia!” My mom pipes in taking a chocolate cupcake for herself. Guess my 10 millennia of memories aren’t going through her head...
***
It was just like any other day in Maretime Bay. Sunny was getting ready for bed, she had just finished brushing her teeth and writing her journal entry to Princess Twilight. As she went to her bedroom, she saw her father already waiting for her.
“I wanted to continue the Jewnicorn story tonight. Do you care, Sunny?” Argyle asks, knowing full well his daughter would want to hear the rest of the story.
“Of course, Daddy! I was waiting all day for you to continue.” as she tucked herself into the covers.
“As you wish, my daughter. Today we shall recant Jewnicorn’s coronation as sovereign over all of time! This was a big deal back then, and someponies even gave him the affectionate name of the Clockwork Prince!”
Sunny was amazed. “The Clockwork Prince? That sounds AWESOME!!!” Sunny says, her tail wiggling in bed in excitement.
“Well, can we get a move on, then! It was during the autumn months, at the apex of the apple harvest that the Clockwork Prince was coronated…”
***need to cry, but I can’t. Everypony needs me to do this today.
“Luna… I miss you so much. You would have loved to be here today. You didn’t get to see me ascend, and now you won’t see me fulfill your legacy.” I say quietly to myself, a single tear falling down my cheek. That single tear becomes two tears, and soon I am bawling like a foal. This must have brought the attention of somepony, because I heard a knock on my door shortly afterward.
“Jewnicorn… are you okay?”
Shit… of COURSE it had to be Celestia. I mean, even with my imminent coronation, she still is the head honcho.
“C...come in.” I say sheepishly as Celestia does so. She is wearing a lovely dress, befitting a princess, and sees that I am still not dressed.
“J-corn. I get it, you are crying tears of joy! I cried, too, when it was my turn to be crowned.” Celestia says, putting a wing over me to try and comfort me.
“You don’t get it… I miss my Luna. Your variant killed her in cold blood! I like Luna here, but the other Luna was the mare who raised me, and she’s gone! I… I wanted her to be here today, but she can’t come.... Ten thousand years with Luna… she loved me like her own foal!” Bawling my eyes out, Celestia does the one thing I prayed she wouldn’t do. She hugged me .
“It’s okay… your mother and sister are here, my sister is here, heck, even I am here . I know my sister isn’t the same Luna that raised you, but she loves you like her own colt! Can’t you see that? Twilight can’t wait to help you get set up as a Prince. Cadence will help you find a mare, at least, I think you like mares, right? You are family now, Noah. We stick together.”
No… I cannot, I will not accept this offer of friendship from the very mare who ruined my life, set the course of events of my people forward. Efraim Narcyz… the children! Everyone who was slaughtered! And then I remembered what Luna told me right before the final battle two years ago.
“Noah… the multiverse is vast and wondrous. Each and every decision you make creates a new universe. There are universes where Friendship really is Magic, and where I wasn’t removed from power. Remember that once we win, we need to forgive .”
With a lump in my throat, and my heart telling me not to, I return the embrace hesitantly.
“T… th… thank you, Celestia.” I say hesitantly, to which the sun alicorn pecks me on the cheek.
“Ten thousand and eighteen years, and you still act like a colt! I like a pony who has emotions. You are safe here, safe with us. Now, I am sure that you are a capable stallion and my sister will want to speak with you in a few minutes. Please get ready. You know Twilight is letting you raise the moon from now on. Tonight is the big day!”
Taking a deep breath, I get up from my bed and Celestia moves out of the way.
“I need around 10-15 minutes to put on some more regal attire. Where do you want me to meet Luna?” I ask Celestia.
“Her library. I know you go there everyday to read with her. You know the way.” Celestia says, teleporting out of my room.”
“You happy now, Luna? … I forgave her. Rest easy, ma” I think to myself as I put on my rather nice pony tux that Rarity commissioned special for me.
Once that is all said and done, I make my way to Luna’s library, where a familiar and comforting mare is waiting for me.
“Well, well, well, our son is here, and he is almost as regal as his mother!” Luna says in jest, flying towards me and embracing me with open hooves.
“Hey… Luna, look. I like you a lot, but don’t you think it’s overkill to call yourself my mother? I mean yeah, your variant took care of me for ten thousand years, but my mom is here .”
“Thou art making a mountain out of a Diamond Dog Mine. We are thine foster mother. Can’t thou taketh a joke?”
Well, I can take a joke and I hug Luna like it will be the last time I ever see her again.
“I already lost one of you… I am not going to allow myself to lose another one. We will guard the night and the timeline together, like parent and child.” I say, letting Luna’s mane cool me with it’s lunar embrace. Being a newly minted alicorn, I am still not as tall as Celestia, Twilight, Luna, and Cadence. Twilight told me it takes 25 years or so to get to that height. For now, I am normal pony size.
“A wise choice from a wise stallion. Now. We have half an hour before the event will begin. All of Equestria will be cheering thee on. Frankly, even the Griffon kingdoms sent a delegation, as did the dragons. You seem to be quite popular, J-corn!”
Well, I have been giving Torah lectures the past month I have been here prepping, and the Griffons like my bluntness, and the dragons like my “straight to the point” mindset.
“Half an hour, huh. Why don’t a mother and son play a round of cards while he is still a regular pony?” I say, spawning a deck of playing cards. “Other you taught me how to play Gin Rummy! I assume you know how, too?”
“Well of course, J-corn. We are the reigning champion of Gin Rummy in all of planet Equus. Let us play!”
As I expected, Luna creamed me in Gin, winning best of three hands. I needed to see her happy muzzle one more time to make me feel better about this whole situation.
“Your Highness?” A guard says, coming to alert Luna. “We need to set J-corn up now. Princess Twilight wished to begin on schedule in her usual manner.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming!” I say, flying to the castle foyer, where Twilight was waiting for me.
“Well there you are J-corn! Ok. Here’s what you are going to do. There are 600,000 ponies outside Canterlot waiting to meet you. I am going to put Luna’s old crown on your head when I coronate you, and then you are going to give a speech. You seem to be good at those, no?” Twilight explains lucidly what will happen.
“Yeah… all those years of Shiurim paid off. Wait, 600,000 ponies? ”
“Well, yeah! Isn’t that the amount of Jews that were at the base of Mount Sinai when Moses came down with the Tablets of the Law?”really tempted to correct her that it was more like 2.1 million, because the 600,000 were military aged men between 20 and 60 years old, but it would not be wise to piss off a princess.
“Yeah, good point. Nice touch on your part, Twilight!”
“Well of course. I do my homework, now, giddy up! ” She says slipping into Royal Canterlot dialect. I listen to Twilight, and I make my way out to the stage where 600,000 ponies and 600,000 other creatures are waiting outside eager to meet their new prince. Well, I am not outside yet , but I can see everycreature there. I am at the threshold. Feeling my anxiety begin to climb exponentially, I begin to pray to my Creator.
“Master of the Universe, please let this coronation go well. I want to make you and Am Israel proud.” I pray silently, remembering I can summon books. I get my siddur and begin reciting the entire book of Psalms. It seemed to have the strange effect of making my mane glow teal, but I don’t think anycreature noticed.
“Oh… and please let my time power be wrong this one time. Twilight deserves more than ten years of peaceful rule. Prove my time power wrong.”
“GREETINGS GRIFFONS, DRAGONS, CHANGELINGS, KIRINS, ZEBRAS, YAKS, PONIES AND ALL OTHER SPECIES THAT CALL THE PLANET OF EQUUS HOME! TODAY, I WOULD LIKE TO START OUT BY RECALLING OUR BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP THAT WE HAVE WORKED ON TOGETHER FOR ALL OF THESE YEARS!
And with a mighty roar that shook the whole of Canterlot:
“FRIENDSHIP. IS. MAGIC!!”
I begin to laugh at Twilight’s speech around the “one heartbeat” line: “Oh the bitter irony. You don’t know the half of it Twily.”
“Discord? What are you doing here?” I almost said that too loudly.
“Paying my respects to the ruling timelord of course! Besides, we all know I have the magic of meta, and know this game is a lost cause. Why bother? We are both too powerful to let this affect us, as good intentioned as Twilight is.”
“It may be a lost cause, but I have to honor my teacher… memory and heritage is my cutie mark, remember?”
Discord chuckles: “Oh the naivety of youth. Ten millennia is a second in my books. You might be old, but you aren’t old enough. We both know your “moon mommy” will survive the baseless hatred calamity, so I don’t know why you care so much.” I wanted to pause time and Road Roller him for almost ruining my coronation with this attitude, but I knew deep down he was right. I only had ten years of bliss. I stayed silent.
“Don’t let the calamity hit you on the way out, Noah. When it hits the fan and the magic is gone, call me.” He hands me a card in a comical fashion and disappears.
“Son of a-”
“THAT’S RIGHT, MY DEAR FRIENDS! FRIENDSHIP. IS. MAGIC! AND BECAUSE IT IS MAGIC, WE CAN OVERCOME ANYTHING AND ANYCREATURE THAT THREATENS TO KEEP US DOWN!”
“Welp, here we go.” I think to myself, knowing that Twilight was about to introduce me. Might as well pray again… Putting my front-right hoof over my eyes, I remember the first prayer any Jew learns, arguably the most important one.
“Shema...Yisrael…”
“And speaking of ‘dear friends’, I would be honored if you welcomed one of mine! EVERYCREATURE, PLEASE WELCOME THE PRINCE OF TIME…”
“Adonai… Eloheinu…”
“ JEWNICORN!”
Showtime. Making my way outside, in my tux, which is covered in sweat, I feel time slowing down, and not from my own magic! I must be stressed out of my mind. I feel like I am at the Oscars or something! Twilight told me that she was going to be the one to crown me, but she spawned the crown and gave it to somepony else… Princess Luna.
Well, now I am definitely going to cry in front of 1.2 million creatures.
“Thou haveth this, Noah. Good luck!” Luna says quietly, hovering over my head with the very crown she wore for millennia.
As soon as I felt the metal touch my mane, a massive surge of magical energy began flowing through my body, and the crown began to transform. It had a lunar crescent on its front, but that disappeared in exchange for a clockface. I felt powerful before, but this is something new! I could get used to this!was my mane on fire? No, it’s just wavy now. I look behind me and I see the very fabric of time and space weaving itself into my mane. I am not Luna sized yet, but at least I have the cool hairdo.
Using her Royal Canterlot Voice, Luna proclaims: “BEHOLD, OUR FOSTER SON AND HEIR, JEWNICORN THE CLOCKWORK PRINCE!!!”
The entirety of Canterlot kneeled at this statement, and I burst into tears.
“Baruch ata, adonai, eloheinu melech haolam, shehecheyanu, vekiyimanu, vehigiyanu, bazman hazeh” I recite to myself. “Mom...we did it. I hope you're happy!”
Chapter 7: The Times They are a Changeling
Holy… Flying … Feathers…
I am royalty… I am bucking royalty, and 1.2 million creatures are prostrating to me. I can’t believe it. I turn around after being crowned and, in an act of potential coltishness, embrace Luna with every bit of gusto I have. She was caught by surprise. “We are glad thou art happy, but we must continue. Have thou prepareth for the special address?”
Well yes, of course I did! I summon my cue cards with my magic and make my way to the podium, which I see is already covered with my new seal, a clock in the shape of a Star of David! My word, I feel crazy right now, but everycreature wants to hear from their new timekeeper. Can’t disappoint them!
Taking a deep breath, I make my way to the microphone and begin to speak:
“My fellow American… wait, wrong planet! Denizens of Equus! I have a few different names, but you can call me the Clockwork Prince. I think that is simple enough. Also, you may be seated…”
Everycreature does as I asked them and are now seated in their chairs.
“Right, where was I? As you might have heard by now, I am not from Equestria, but from another reality altogether. I helped a different Princess Luna save Equestria in her timeline, and in her final, selfless act named me as her heir and sole successor. So...that’s why I am here today. I can elaborate on this further if need be, but today I just want to explain to everycreature what exactly my job is. Using a time spell, I project a map of the spacetime continuum onto the setting sun. “This...is all of spacetime. My mandate is to protect the flow of time for everycreature in the universe. It is a hard job, but it is something I am good at. Basically, as long as everycreature doesn’t try time travelling to alter the past, you are already on my good side!”
Everycreature begins to laugh at this joke.
“So… besides watching time and raising the moon every now and then, what exactly am I going to do? Well, let me start with this! I love education, and I plan on starting a contest across all the lands to pick personal pupils! Knowledge has always been a value of mine, and I want to share this joyous gift with the smartest and brightest minds!”
All of the younger Equestrian citizens oohed and ahhed, excited to potentially be selected.
“Everycreature under the age of thirteen in attendance has a paper card underneath their seat. On this card is a logic puzzle that I devised myself. If you can solve this puzzle of wits, mail it to my palace, which is under construction but has a mailing address. The card is enchanted, so no cheating. It’ll know it’s you who solved it, and not a friend or parent!” I say, smirking. I love puzzles!
All of the younger citizens fumble underneath their seats to see exactly what I described, a paper card with a puzzle on it. This puzzle is a basic tenet of Talmudic exegesis. “Kal Vachomer”, or A fortiori inference. It used to express a conclusion for which there is stronger evidence than for a previously accepted one.
“Out of all the puzzles, only one candidate from each race will be selected to be in my elite class. If you don’t get in, don’t worry. I plan on holding this contest every year, and the cards will be mailed to your houses. If you get selected, you will get a letter and I will interview you, to ensure you meet my criteria. Once you get in, you will become a Guardian of Time. Now, the Magic of Time is not the same as the Magic of Friendship, but there is a lot of overlap. You will learn history, logic, and even magic. Of course, you will continue your regular Friendship studies. I assured Princess Twilight of this when we agreed to create this program.”
The children in the audience are in awe, they could potentially be a student of mine!
“As for everybody else… I will be giving lectures in Equestria on a variety of subjects while I am not teaching your elite youth, and I want to know each of my citizens intimately. Best part about being a time-alicorn is that I can do that, since I can just rewind time over and over to meet each and every one of you. There is a chance I have already begun to do that!” I say, winking.always respond to a letter. Anyways, enough chit chat! I think Equestria deserves a party today.”
I’ve wanted to try the Canterlot voice for a while now. Now I can!
“My first royal edict will be a simple request. Madame Pinkamena Diane Pie, Element of Laughter, come hither!”
Pinkie Pie bounces forward with all of her usual Pinkie enthusiasm.
“I bestow upon you the privilege of inaugurating the coronation festivities, do as you wish.” I say, using a spell to amplify Pinkie’s voice.
“OMYGOSHIEVERYPONYTHISISCLOCKWORKSPARTYLETSGOO! TIMEPARTY!”
And with reality warping at her will, a massive party capable of feeding millions spawns out of thin air. Must be some Element magic, I presume?
Getting off the podium, I fly and try to locate my mother and sister among the crowd of millions.
I see my sister pop up in the sky and drag me down to see somepony she just met.
“Oh my goodness Noah! If you got crowned, does that make me a princess?” Rivka asks me as somepony taps me on the shoulder. It was a human!
“Woah… a human in Equestria. Never thought I’d see the day… Wait, do I know you?”
"I believe so, Your Majesty.", while bowing.
I take a minute to think about who this could be…
“Wait. State your timeline and coordinates! Your energy readings are too high to be a human. A changeling? No… too high for tha- oh my G-d… you are the guy I did my first lecture on for Starlight! How’d you get here?”
He places a finger to his lips while smiling mysteriously.
"An Alicorn never reveals his secrets…"
Well, the guy isn’t made with a pencil. I have more people to meet and greet, but this is so weird. I narrated his life story and now he’s here… never had that before.
“Say… want a cupcake or something while you are in my timeline? I don’t think that’ll cause a butterfly effect.”
"No need, kind sir.'
… He produced a cupcake out of nowhere. I'm also not sensing any magic… at least magic that I can detect.
'Already got one."
“Okay… If I recall correctly you have alicorn DNA from somewhere, correct? Do you have the power of meta?"
His only response was another secret smile that was eerily similar to a particular pink pony's…
“Nevermind. I have more people to greet. It’s funny to see you here, also, your wings are showing, you know that? Your blazer tore at the seam.” I say, with a smirk as Luna taps me on the shoulder next, directing me to meet with the griffon delegation.
"I know.'
He glances behind me and glups.
'Which brings with them unneeded female attention… It was truly wonderful seeing you again, but I need to leave ASAP."
What does he know? He knows I have ten years to try and prevent this bad timeline from happening?
“You know about the calamity?” I ask, only to realize that he’s gone.
Holy fishpaste! My telepathy encryption is top notch, like literally only Luna and Twi can access me. Just who is this guy?
“I mean I kind of know what happens because I am a time alicorn, but my power is limited to preserve my sanity. Like, I can see the future of everything, but not MY future. Just tell me if mom is going to be okay… I saw the timeline with the Clockwork King, and I don’t want to do that!”
“Sure, but Luna will have my flank if I am late, can we fly and chat?” I ask rhetorically as I follow Luna to where the griffon delegation is.
What? Is he speaking in morse code or something? I remember learning how to decode it back on Earth, but… this is new encryption! With a quick flash of my horn, all of the cards I gave to the children have this message added to them. If anypony can help me with this, it’s the children!
“But… the society HAS to collapse for the timeline to progress. In 2275 somepony named Sunny brought the ponies together, I think? I mean, if you DO know meta, I pulled the Dr. Strange card. I saw millions of continuities, all of them have friendship fail!”
“Well. horseapples! I can trust two of them! If you know me, you know Celestia is my big problem! Do the three gem things Twilight gave me have anything to do with this?”
“I got together and broken out of that. I am a bit rusty. Now I am stressed out of my mind, but I know fate wills you here for a reason. I bid you good fortune… damn it! Why can’t I remember your name!”
“You son of a mare! I thought this was an encrypted channel! Gonna get guillotined on my coronation day… Do I stop time or nah?”
I sense he’s gone… But this is not good...
“Son? Who Have thou been speaking with?”
Well, this isn’t good!
Chapter 8: The Guardians of Time
“Woah! You are telling me a human came over to the Clockwork Prince’s coronation?!”
A human in Equestria at such an auspicious event must have been worldwide news!
“Yes, Sunny, I just did. We don’t know who he is, though. Although he seems to have some kind of magic, based on my notes…” Argyle was telling the truth. Nopony, not even J-corn, knew his true identity, but J-corn knew that he knew this person from somewhere.
“Anyways, sorry for interrupting, Dad, can we continue?”
“Of course, Sunny. We can continue!”
***
“As we were saying, child, who art thou in parlance with? Why is he cussing like a sailor?”
Well, what am I supposed to tell Luna? Do I tell her everything, or do I make something up? I really don’t know what to do!
< Don't lie. Tell fragments of the truth.>
“Of course. We have had visions before, this is nothing new. Let us pray it is not the Tantabus or thine variant of it!”
“Yeah… I remember you telling me about that. Must have been scary!”
“Anyways, thou seemeth distraught. Why art thou upset on this joyous day?”
“Ack! He spoke again! Okay… here’s the 411. Did I tell you yet about my timeline preening?” I need to make sure Luna has all the context.
“Yes, child. We are well aware, continue, no harm will come to thee.” She replies, putting me at ease.
“Well… Equestria has 10 years left before it breaks apart. I don’t know why yet, but the reason I started this student lottery to build a time corps is so I can have more insight on how to prevent this!” I tell Luna, quivering at the thought.
“So, how did I do, mystery voice?” I say quietly to myself, awaiting a response.
“Ten years left? My word! Art thou certain of this? This claim is too serious to jest about!” She gasps, horrified at the prospect.
“Yes, Luna. 100% sure. I don’t know all the details, but I can’t share everything I know, or something worse could happen!” I admit, making Luna shiver.
“Well you said I need to trust her, and she gave me a hug today… I checked this timeline. Celestia is benevolent. It’s just me that’s a bit wound up.”
“Anyways, ma, I was wondering if you have any insight on this? I need to come up with a plan before this lottery for students begins. You’ve saved Equestria a few times, but never from itself!”
“Insight, we have plenty. Breathe, and we shall elaborate. Actually, we have arrived at the griffon delegation. Put this on hold and activate thy “happy face!””
“Care to listen in on boring political stuff? If I need you, you know where to find me. This isn’t an order, merely a request. Mind you, I like it, but not everypony else does”
Okay, this puts me at ease. With my mother’s company and her hoof on my shoulder to calm me down, we land in front of the griffon ambassador a few files away from Celestia’s estate.
“I believe a congratulations is in order, Sir Clockwork Prince!” The she-griffon ambassador says, reaching out a talon to “shake hands”. I quickly lent out my right forehoof and shook her talon diplomatically.
“Why thank you Madam Ambassador! Pray tell what interesting things are happening in Griffonstone right now! I must admit I am a bit out of the loop!’
“Well, you had a lot of prep to do this past month. All is forgiven, sir! Anyways… we can discuss foreign affairs another time, I merely wanted to give you a gift.” And with that, the ambassador takes out a medium sized box and puts it on the floor. I raise it with my magic, waiting.
“What do you think the gift is? Anything I could use for my students? Remember I can’t see my *own* future, so I am just as clueless as everypony else.”
Opening the box, I see a two-handed (or in this case, hoofed) longsword made out of the finest metal in all of Equus. Grabbing it with my hooves, I try and get a feel for the grip.
“I had a feeling you would like this! Oh, Stallions and he-griffons with their toys! We pray that you never need to use this in warfare, but Griffonstone is more than happy to commission weapons for the Clockwork Prince if need be. Consider this longsword to be a gift from Gilda Griffon herself!”
I quickly fashion myself a sheath for the sword using magic, and place it at my side. It’s not too heavy, so I think I can fly home with this thing.
“Your gift is greatly appreciated, Madam Ambassador. I will be sure to cherish it!” I say. Honestly, I think the sword is really cool.
“Ma, if I recall correctly, the griffons commissioned your weapons, too, right?”
“Yeah, they did. Thank the moon and stars we haven’t had to use them for years!”
“Wait… did the Crown Prince of time just refer to Princess Luna as his mother?” The ambassador asks, a bit confused.
“Yes. Yes I did. It’s a long story…” chuckling at this. I hug my moon mom to prove the point, and she returns the embrace.
“And we love thee as well. Sir Clockwork Prince!” She says, pecking me on the cheek, embarrassing me in front of a foreign dignitary!
“Anyways. My name is Gallus. You might remember me as one of the Young Six back in the day, some fifteen years ago!”
“That’s right… Princess Twilight told me about you guys a while back. The pleasure is mine!”
“Well, I came here fifteen years LATE, so…”
“Anyways, you have more dignitaries to meet, so I will leave you be, sire!” She flies off, leaving me and my moon mom to our own devices.
“Methinks the next set of creatures thou needeth to greet are the Council of Friendship. Come, let us go there at once!”
“This seems like a good idea, right?”
<... Unsure, to be honest… Again, tread carefully . Their loyalty is to an Alicorn who freaks out over a single inkpot being out of place and who practically worships Celestia, who herself isn’t all she shows herself to be…>
“And mine is to the mare who raised me for 10 millennia and loves me for who I am… anyways, I’ll behave, don’t worry mystery man!”
I follow Luna back to Celestia’s estate, where I notice everypony having a great time! Seeing my new subjects happy relaxes me, although that if I screw something up it could all be for naught!
When we finally make it, somepony familiar waives a hoof, beckoning me to come over.
“We shall parlay with our sister now. Go, J-corn. Be a monarch for a few minutes. If thou needeth me, thou knoweth our location!”
Well, Luna is a pony too, not just a coach. I follow Twilight’s instructions and I go into the group. I feel like I am invading some secret society or high school clique!
“Well, congrats Clockwork guy!” A cyan pegasus with a hint of attitude says, slapping me on the shoulder in a friendly way.
“Um… yeah… you did well!” Another pegasus says, very quietly.
“Ah’m happy y’all are enjoying the food. Sweet Apple Acres is caterin’ this event!”
“AND I PLANNED EVERYTHING ELSE!!”
“And I designed your clothes, as well as budgeted the event. Pray tell J-corn, what is a ponycoin? All the fillies and colts are using this newfangled currency instead of bits! I MUST get involved with this. It is so lucrative”
“Well, Rarity, a ponycoin is cryptocurrency that runs on the magical Blockchain, which I’ll get to in a minute.”
“You bucking BETTER wait! We’re convening the council now!”
The aforementioned Alicorn led us from the hall to the Throne room, where, after everypony sat, proceeded to royally freak the buck OUT.
“Somepony told me that we have ten years to get our act together before I lose my kingdom!”
Dammit! LUNA, why did you do that?!
“Mystery man, a little help?!”
“Clockwork King Ain’t looking so bad right now…”
“As the newest sovereign of Equestria, you have some explaining to do. Obviously, I am proud of you for being crowned today, and nothing will change that. I am just confused as to why you didn’t tell me about this?” Twilight says to me, looking quite cross.
“Well… I don’t know any of you that well. I mean, I am not from this timeline for Pete’s sake! Hell, even this Luna who’s my foster mother isn't the Luna who raised me! How am I supposed to trust somepony I don’t know with crucial information like this?!”
“The time pony makes ah good point, Twi. he doesn’t know any of us that well!” Applejack says in my defense.
“Um… J-corn… right? I got a message from Discord… today… he says he saw you and told you to ab… abandon ship… are you going to abandon ship?!” Fluttershy says, looking at me with pouting eyes.
That bucking chaotic neutral son of a mare! He pisses me off and then sells my anger to the highest bidder!
“Nopony is abandoning ship in MY kingdom!” Twilight says, beginning to argue with Fluttershy.
“Well I think the time guy is cool. I like him, and he could probably beat me in a rac-”
“Nopony cares about your racing right now, Dash. Grow up ah bit!”
“Well at least J-corn has the decency to compliment my clothing designs you mule!” Rarity says, beginning to argue with Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
Everypony is arguing… because of me! I didn’t even do any crazy things yet.
“ENOUGH!”
I say, time magic at the hoof, moments away from pausing time or doing something else drastic. Twilight
“This is exactly what my future forecasts predict. Closest of friends becoming enemies, and me having to clean up the mess. We have to prove my prediction wrong, and arguing is making it manifest! Do you want the Wendigos to show up again?”
“Nopony wants the Wendigos again, J-corn.” Twilight says, calming everypony down.
“Well, darling, since I seem to be the only pony here with any sympathy for the colt, I have an idea on how to prevent this calamity!” Rarity says, much to the confusion of everypony here.
“And WHAT would that be, Rarity?” Pinkie Pie asks rhetorically, knowing full well what she is going to say.
“The Clockwork Prince needs a Clockwork Princess ! Isn’t it obvious? Love is what will save Equestria from itself!”
“Is Rarity out of her bucking mind? I can’t die! Loving somepony will be horrible for me because they’ll die in a few short decades! I am already bracing for my real mom and sister in 60-80 years.”
<... Not necessarily, my young and ageless pony. Don’t you have the power to rewind time while keeping memories intact?>
“I can rewind time… but death is absolute… Luna and I both agreed that I cannot revive anypony after they die, for it will disrupt the natural order. Only G-d can have that power!”
< You misunderstand me. I’m not speaking about restoration after death, I’m speaking of age-regression while still alive .>
“You are brilliant! But… I’ve tried that before in my ten millennia of frozen time with a frog… and the frog still died. The universe requires death for most creatures.”
“What a lovely idea, Rarity. Finally something another pony can agree on. J-corn. I am going to call my sister-in-law and she will help you find your mare!” Twilight says, quickly writing down a reminder to do so.
“And who would be CRAZY enough to marry this guy?” Applejack ponders,
“Ya think I know? I have no idea! Heck, if my mom wasn’t able to find anypony, how could I find anypony?” I ask, unsure if this idea will be of any use.
“Your foster mother is a unique case, J-corn. I don’t think Luna is like most ponies.” Twilight adds.
***
“Wait, daddy, I am confused. Why is J-corn arguing with everypony about love? If he can’t die, isn’t falling in love pointless? What if the mystery human with magic is wrong?”
“I don’t know, but I know that his bad future with the Clockwork King came to fruition, because everypony is afraid of each other. He might not be ruling with an iron hoof, like he thought he would, but he is policing the timeline with his Guardians to make sure that the status quo remains divided. I must know why!”
“Well, do you know what happened next in this story? Does J-corn the time prince fall in love?”
“It’s not so simple, Sunny. He does fall in love, but love didn’t save him. May I continue?”
“Yeah, daddy. Sorry that I’m asking so many question- actually, I have one more!”
Argyle looks at his daughter with caring eyes, interested to see what her question will be.
“Ask away, my little pony!”
“If J-corn the time prince failed, and he can control time and space, is there ANY chance Friendship will prevail? C… can I really be Princess Twilight’s student?” Sunny is really upset by this proposition.
“I...I don’t know Sunny. What I do know is that your friend Hitch’s grandfather was allegedly on J-corn’s time guardian team for a brief stint. When he comes over to play tomorrow, I would ask him if he knows anything. Now… you should go to sleep. We can continue the story in the morning. I love you. Good night!”
Kissing his daughter on the forehead, he leaves his daughter’s room and returns to his study. He begins to think to himself about his past.
“Poor Sunny. I love her to bits, but she is too pure to know that I am the last guardian… I never even met J-corn, but… I was given the task of recording Equestrian history for Earth Ponies. I disobeyed by including the Magic of Friendship in these lessons. I fear that J-corn will find me and-.”
And then somepony familiar to him broke down the door.
“Argyle Starshine… we need to talk, NOW!”
The Clockwork King himself!
“S...sire! S-sire! I’m h-honored for this unexpected-!”
“Save the semantics, Starshine!”
“P… please don’t yell. My daughter is sleeping.”
J-corn, as apathetic and corrupt as he had become, still has a soft spot for children, so he was willing to comply with Argyle’s simple request,
“What have I done for this visit, Your Highness ?! I’ve been recording history as you commanded for thirty years , down to the last letter! I solved the puzzle in the lottery, ...I got the order of the Clock! I...”
“You know very well what you did… you began preaching the vile lie of Friendship to the denizens of this cute town. I have to purge friendship from the timeline … all it ever did was hurt me and those I cared about. Before I decide what to do with you, please explain WHY you did so?”
“Sire… all I ask is that you do not harm my daughter Sunny. She is a filly of seven years old! She is innocent of any of my teachings! You… you can add me to the Hourglass for all I care, just leave her be!”
“Ah… so you know about the Hourglass. Luster Dawn taught you well, I see! You know why I need the Hourglass, right?”
“If… if I recall correctly it has something to do with your mother?”
“Yes… I need my mother back, and… it’s the only way to bring her back. I need 25 million more souls before I can have enough life energy to save her… that DAMN WHORSE who did this to her! ”
“But… I thought Princess Luna was alive and well! That’s what Luster Dawn told me all those years ago!”
“She is alive… but she is also dead. Are you familiar with Schroedinger’s Mare?”
“I think so? Somepony who is alive and dead at the same time!”
“Exactly… it is because of Friendship that my mother got into this mess. I really don’t want to hurt anypony, but I need her back. She is my everything . I am sure you can relate to that with that precious thing you have sleeping in your room…”
Slowly stepping towards Argyle, mane wrapping around them while showing Argyle’s past, present, and potential futures, he lowers his voice and coldly continues.
“Now… Do you have anything to say in your defense as to why you are harming my sacred timeline with your vile teachings?”
“I… I wanted to bring the magic back… for my daughter’s sake!”
“The magic? THE MAGIC? How stupid are you? The Magic of Friendship is too dangerous to be wielded by anypony. Friends can do horrible things to each other, and when they work together, can inflict more evil as a group than one pony can do on his own. SURELY Luster taught you that?”
“But...that’s not true! What about-”
“DON’T YOU BUCKING DARE... SAY HER NAME .”
“S...sorry sire! P...please don’t kill me for treason!”
“Kill you? Your soul has virtually no magic! I have always pitied you Earth Ponies for this… I will give you a fate worse than death instead . My mother taught me a few tricks before that WHORSE did what she did to her… however I am a stallion of my word. Not a hoof will be brought towards your daughter. She is of little use to my plans anyways… although there IS one timeline where she somehow becomes an alicorn after defeating me, but the odds of that happening are minimal to none. Like… 1 in 14,000,605?”
“Sunny WILL be that one timeline, NOAH! She will unite ponykind and even the non-ponies as well. I have taught her EVERYTHING!”
How does Argyle know J-corn’s real human name? He hasn’t used it in centuries!
“Goodbye. You were a good student. I truly pity your child, Starshine.”
And with a flash of his horn, Argyle was sent to the Place Beyond Time, left to relive his worst memories forever . A much worse fate than death.
“Alrighty. Now that that guy is gone. I really need to find younger Noah and make sure that he does exactly what I did…”
“I’m coming for you, kiddo. Shame I can’t kill you, because that would kill me and cause a paradox.”
The Clockwork King stops in his tracks. He hadn’t heard that voice in almost 200 years. A blink of an eye for him, but enough time to make him think.
“You again... magic man. What do you want? I am a lost cause already! Leave me alone!”
“You were a bucking liar! You said my mom will live! Look at her! She’s a clump of cells I have been trying to regenerate for the past 100 years!”
“I just want Mom back… I never wanted to kill anypony! You KNOW that. It was the only way. I searched the entire timeline for an ethical solution but alicorn souls can only be nourished with life energy!”
“I will. You know where to find me. I have important things to do. Not everything I do is “evil time emperor stuff” I have a timeline to repair! Just last week some unicorn in Bridlewood activated his magic and tried to rewrite history. I had to fix that! If I need you again, magic man, I will contact you. I bid you well.”
Humming a melody his mother taught him, the Clockwork King teleports away to his castle at the Edge of Equestria, where the Crystal Empire used to be.
“That son of a mare quoting Earth cultu- wait… I forgot he was from my timeline, too! No wonder he can see my future. I must find a way to meet this fellow again. I only saw him at my coronation all those years ago!”
“Greetings, Sire! How is everything?” A mare asks him as he returns to his palace and takes his armor off.
“All is well Phyllis. How’s the Startup coming along?” J-corn obviously wouldn’t talk about the Magic Man, because Phyllis Cloverleaf wouldn’t understand one bit!
“Excellent, sire. Canterlogic tech for Earth Pony cybersecurity and Unicorn/Pegasi attacks are moving ahead at full speed. Your insider trading tips about ponycoin were really useful!”
“I am glad it’s working out, and the colt, is he alright?”
“Yes, of course! Sprout is fine and well. What are your orders, sire?”
“Set the Hourglass to 75% capacity. We are almost there. I have to go pay an old friend a visit.”
“Yes sir!” Phyllis says, galloping off to the Hourglass control console and plugging in the parameters.
“Ma. We are so close!” He thinks to himself as he sees the clump of cells that was once his mother began to multiply.
***
While I was arguing with the Council of Friendship over potential love interests, I felt something really cold down my name… like somepony was pulling from my magic.
“Mystery Man? Do you feel that? Somepony is accessing my magic! This shouldn’t be possible!”
I was about to reply to this, but my mom burst into the room in full battle armor, like she just saw somepony having a heart attack.
“J-corn, our sweet colt! We consulted with Starswirl and he found thy future self. He is a tyrant! Not the sweet boy we know and love! He is out to find you and MAKE SURE Friendship fails!”
Bursting into tears, Luna runs into my hooves and begins to caress my mane.
“P… promise us thou shalt be a good pony. Promise us that thou shalt keep thine Judaism properly and remain pure.”
Geez, looks like Luna saw a ghost! I return the embrace, letting Luna’s cool mane try and calm me down.
“This is bad… This is really bad. J-corn, stay right here. I will come back in a minute!” Twilight says, bolting out of the room to find Starswirl the Bearded.
Future self with a vendetta? This is getting interesting, indeed!
Chapter 9: Can A Time Alicorn Fall in Love?
I am still not over it. Is Rarity out of her mind? I can’t fall in love! There are SO many reasons that this won’t work, not to mention my generalized anxiety which most ponies find annoying!
“As I said, darling, you need a mare to keep you well rounded that isn’t your moon mom. Somepony to love you like a husband, not like a son.” Rarity reiterates her point as Twilight is busy writing an emergency letter to Cadence, after she couldn’t find Starswirl or any of the Pillars.
“Alright everypony. New plan. We switch venues to my Castle of Friendship in Ponyville. Cadence will probably be there soon, and we can find Clockwork a marefriend there. Let’s go!” Twilight says, bolting out the window of Celestia’s castle like her life depends on it.
“Well, if Equestria’s fate hinges on Friendship and this new prince falling in love, I don’t think we stand a chance.” Rainbow Dash says quietly.
Even if she thinks I am cool, she doesn’t know me well enough to have faith in my success.
“AJ, take the train, I’ll meet you there in ten seconds flat!” She says, breaking the sound barrier immediately upon exiting the castle.
“Yer’ damn annoying with that, and yuh haven’t been helpin’ out at all on the farm!” Applejack says, walking out of the room in a foul mood, as Pinkie bounces along like nothing bad is happening at all.
“If it makes you feel any better, darling, I think you are lovely, and if I wasn’t married to my work…”
“Rarity, you’re nice, but you aren’t my type.” I admit, making Rarity laugh a bit as Fluttershy speaks up.
“Um… Clockwork, right… d… do you know what kind of mare you like? I… I could help you find somepony…”
“The only pony who we deem worthy in finding a mate for J-corn is us. None of you know him at all, what he likes, doesn’t like, what medication he takes, etc.”
“Luna…. Really?” I point out, noticing she is still clinging onto me like I am a foal, because of what she saw from Starswirl.
“Our apologies for not withdrawing from thy barrel sooner.” As she lets go of me after 15 annoying but comfortable minutes of her stuck to me like glue.
Magic man, do I answer Fluttershy’s question? I like smart mares who are also kind, basically a mix of Twi and Fluttershy. Does that even exist?
“Well, I can ask my mom. She does dream stuff, and consciousness falls into that purview… if only I could see my own future! Dang self-preservation clauses!”
“She’s in that other timeline with the pastel people… poor thing doesn’t know the CHS statue’s connection severed permanently…”
<Not necessarily… But only with your permission.>
Well, as smart as the magic alicorn man is, I don’t want to be late, so Fluttershy, Luna and I begin to fly towards Ponyville.
“No big deal, just leave a mare by herself… just kidding, I can teleport!” Rarity jests as she teleports to Ponyville.
“Ma… what do you know about the mirror at your niece’s place. I have an idea on how to solve the love debacle.”
I ask Luna about Cadence’s mirror which accesses parallel worlds.
“We do not think Sunset Shimmer is a good match for thee! She is too dominant and would “take thee out for lunch”, as the cool colts say. Thou needeth somepony who respects boundaries and is not controlling!”
“Well, there you go, magic man. No dice on Sunset. If mom doesn’t approve of the match… well I assume you’ve seen Fiddler on the Roof if you are from Earth.”
“And TAKEN! That dolt Flash Sentry is engaged to her!”
The sound of soft laughter echoes in my head. Sounds like my baby sister? Maybe?
“J-corn… I have an idea of a mare for you… promise not to laugh... okay?”
What could Fluttershy possibly be thinking that would make me laugh.
“Okay, then, who do you recommend?” egging her on.
“Um… she has a few names. Her legal name is Muffins, but everypony calls her Derpy.”
Derpy Hooves, the Derpy Hooves? Is this some kind of cosmic joke?
“Magic man, is she serious with me right now?”
Oh, snap… I forgot about that Earth Pony. I have competition! Wasn’t he exiled from Gallifrey? I don’t know my pop culture anymore. It’s been 10,000 years!
Well… this sucks. I wonder what Cadence will have to say about this. I mean, we finally made it to the Castle of Friendship in Ponyville. Two alicorns are waiting for me. Twilight and Cadence are waving, signaling for Luna, Fluttershy, and I to land.
“Well, congrats on the coronation, Sir Clockwork Prince. I was told by my sister in law you are in the dating game now, and national security is on the line? ”
“Yeah, pretty much. If you are the love pony, I trust you with this!” I am being quite candid with her.
“Well, Twilight wrote a profile on you in quite a short time. Typical of her...” She pulls out a pair of reading glasses and the papers Twilight wrote about me.
“Let’s see, born a human in the Earth/03 continuity, diagnosed with “Autism Spectrum Disorder” at the age of two. Found by Luna/03 in 2020… ten millennia in frozen time… prodigal student of Torah and Law… I know just the mare for you!”
I am at the edge of my hooves.
“Ready? I think she’ll be PERFECT for you!”
As I’ll ever be.
“Headmare Starlight Glimmer! She does time travel, too, AND she’s single.”
Huh, this is a bit out of left field. I did a thing for her with the magic man for her School of Friendship, but time travel?
“Magic Man… does your meta power allow this?”
Giggles, then guffaws, then LOL’s rang out annoyingly in my head. And then… Fluttershy began to laugh, as did my mother, and then even Cadence and Twilight started to laugh!
***
“75% there, ma… I miss you so much… I just need to find my younger self and deal with him.”
Today also happens to be a bad day for the Clockwork King. It was on this day in 2077 CE that his wife Starlight Glimmer betrayed him for the Legion of Doom, almost killing his mother in the process…
Flashback
“You idiot! Why did you unfreeze them?!” J-corn says, furious with his wife. He knew she was a villain before, but why would she revert back? J-corn did TBT (temporal behavioral therapy) with her for forty years! Why betray her stallion now?
“Why do you think I unfroze them, honey? You failed ten years after the decree, to the day, just like the “Magic Man” said you would. You stupidly held to Twilight’s decrees and thought you could rewrite time to make everypony love each other. You can’t! Might as well end everything in the process and start over.”
“I can help you. Just join us .” Starlight said with a smirk as Cozy Glow, now fully ascended to an alicorn state, begins razing everything in Equestria to the ground.
“CEASE THIS FIGHTING AT ONCE, COZY GLOW!” J-corn’s mother says, activating her full powers trying to hold the rogue pony back. Upon her son’s emergency flare, she was brought out of retirement to help him in his time of need.
“You are a fool. I killed your sister before coming here, and you are going to be the next easy step!” Cozy says, waiting for Tirek to give the orders.
“Wait… You killed Sunbutt?” J-corn says in shock. As much as he always hated Celestia, this variant was benevolent and showed him nothing but kindness.
“Of course I killed Celestia. She is the biggest threat to chaos! I snuffed Twilight and Cadence, too. It was too easy now that the “Mane 6” all died of old age. No Friendship equals no magic. I ended her without a trace! Now, your mother is next!”
“Starlight… I love you. Please snap out of it! I need my mare back!”
Lord Tirek looks at J-corn with disgust as he beckons Cozy Glow to his side, ready to give orders.
“Come, Cozy Glow, dispose of this poor moon pony and consume her magic!”
The Jewnicorn was at the brink. His mother was using as much magic as she could, his Earth family died 10 years prior in an accident, and the two people he loved the most were fighting against each other.
“F*ck you, magic man! I have to do something!” He says, unleashing more power than ever before in his life. His once beautiful blue mane becomes cosmic black with rage, and his horn begins glowing red.
“זאוואדו! עצור את הזמן! !!" (Time! grind to a halt!). Everything and everypony freezes in place. His mother was inches away from certain doom.
“עברה שנייה אחת”. (one second has passed)
J-corn does everything he can to try and fix this, but Cozy’s magic is too strong and begins to break the time freeze, moving closer and closer towards Princess Luna.
“חלפו שתי שניות” (Two seconds have passed)
Starlight starts to move around a bit in frozen time, since she was always somewhat immune to J-corn’s magic.
“I really do care about you, Clocky (her pet name for him) but you were too stupid to see that we need to bring a new age! That stupid magic man messing with your beautiful mind. I should have stayed with Starswirl…”
Hearing a voice inside her head, she quickly figures out that this must be the magic man her husband spoke about.
(עברו שלוש שניות) (three seconds have passed)
Tirek gives the order, and Cozy Glow and Starlight are inches away from ending Princess Luna.
“I’m begging you, Starlight. You can end this now. Don’t hurt my mom. She loves you. ”
J-corn is on the verge of tears. He has to draw more power, more than he has ever drawn before.
“You… I love you Starlight… Now… I have to stop you, and I don’t care how I do it!”
Remembering something vague from his time on Earth about an attack rush from a shounen anime, he does everything he can to try and save his mother.
“You… you killed Twilight. You killed Celestia… you are NOT going to kill MY MOM!”
"בזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוזבזבוז WRYYYY!!!!
“USELESS!”
And with a final time-powered punch, it was too late. The attack obliterated Luna to smithereens before J-corn could do anything, while J-corn’s “7-page בזבוז” managed to neutralize his former wife and the Legion of Doom in one fell swoop.
“J… J-corn… your mother is gone… I really did love her, but Eq… Equestria needs a new age… by killing me and… my friends, you… you destroyed everything. Have… have fun ruling the ashes of Twilight’s kingdom.”
Those were the last words of Starlight Glimmer as she passed on, while her now widowered husband bawling his eyes out at the death of both his wife and mother.
As time begins to flow once again, J-corn sees that the thing in front of him that used to be his mother has enough organic matter left to potentially regenerate. It’s not resurrection if the pony is still somewhat alive…
“I...I could bring mom back? Maybe ?” he thinks to himself, seeing that maybe her body can be reanimated.
“Starlight… I loved you, you are dead to me now both in form and memory. Mom, I will do anything to bring you back, whatever it takes!” He says, putting a time vacuum around the remains of Luna.
“What was that movie on Earth, where the purple guy killed somepony to get something? “A soul for a soul”? It could work… I need to do the math when I get home.”
whatever it takes!
Between 2077 and 2250 CE, the now renamed Clockwork King did everything he could to bring his mother back to him, no matter what the cost. What was the cost? 100 million creatures’ lives, and more were still needed to fully reanimate her. He only went after creatures with the most amount of magic, and only those who adhered to Friendship. He wanted to end Friendship, and completely blot it from the Equestrian record. Even if it got rid of almost all magic. As long as he could hug his mother one more time...
He justified his actions by saying that since ponies and other creatures were not humans, their lives had less value, and it was like killing an animal. They didn’t have a “soul”. Now, Clockwork knew this to not be true, but he couldn’t deal with the reality. He should have known better, knowing his people’s history!
In the present day of 2250 CE, J-corn thinks about this moment long and hard, and is at ease seeing the Hourglass three quarters of it’s way to bringing his mother back.
“Magic Man… you know what day it is today… you know I have to keep doing this. I wanted Friendship, just like everypony else, but all it did was hurt me. Maybe Starlight was right...”
Clockwork was livid. He knew that the Magic Man was right, but he didn’t want to concede this.
“Shut up… just shut up! She was pregnant with my first child when she betrayed me! All those years of believing stallion alicorns were sterile. SHE was the one who insisted we try again. She… she made me kill my own child! I tried to save the fetus, but I… I couldn’t… my sweet baby filly, taken from me because her mother had to betray me!”
“So what was it? Tirek visions? Schizophrenia? Her manic depression? For two hundred years I have been looking at the past trying to figure it out!”
“Well… it’s too late now. I can’t revive the dead, and I killed so many creatures. Starlight is gone for good, but Mom isn’t! I am too far into this! If I end Operation Hourglass, mom will DIE. The souls are keeping her alive! What should I do?”
“I… I can’t… she is my reason to live! My Earth family is dead, and I have nopony else! My secretary is nice to me, but she’s married and has a son! I NEED her! I want to stop… but I can’t. I can’t undo everything I already did. I’m no better than Daybreaker!!!”
He begins sobbing uncontrollably. He’s just like the mare he smote 200 years ago in the first timeline he was in. He already lost a Luna, he can’t, and he won’t lose another one.
<... I have an idea...>
“Should I just go back to Earth and live as a human under a new identity? Leave Equestria behind and start over?”
For a time guardian, Clockwork felt like a dolt! Why did it take him 200 years to get to this seemingly obvious conclusion! It would solve everything! Not to mention that The Clockwork King always liked the Magic Man’s fondness for Earth pop culture. It made him feel like a regular kid again.
“I am too far down this rabbit hole. Find my younger self and rewrite time from there… he could fix Friendship, marry Starlight, and help with her mental illness. Save mom, too! I have to continue my part here, and if you are successful, I will be erased and the better, more humane- , no, ponane, Clockwork Prince will take my place. At least he will be able to hug his daughter...”
As he kept reflecting on his life choices over the past few hundred years, his earth pony secretary Phyllis Cloverleaf barges into Clockwork’s private chambers, with a look of existential dread on her face. This promptly interrupted Clockworks’ tete-a-tete with the “magic man”. He rewound time by thirty seconds so Phyllis wouldn’t see him as a broken mess, and he put on his “statespony” face the second time she entered.
“Phyllis, honey. What did I tell you about coming in without knocking?” he says with a grin. He always liked his ponies’ enthusiasm for their work.
“Sire… the pony you neutralized last night, Argyle Starshine… he had one of the artifacts that Twilight gave you centuries ago!”
Phyllis knew Argyle quite well, since Sprout and Sunny used to play together all the time, and she was a firsthoof witness to his heretical teachings about Friendship.
Knowing that Phyllis is an honest pony, hearing this made the Clockwork King’s eyes dilate to full attention.
“I presume he must have stolen it from the Time Academy when he was a colt… I should have had more security on those things. Damn crystals are enchanted and I can’t time travel my way out of this!” He complains. If anything can undo his centuries of division, it would be the reunification of the three crystals his former friend gave him. His propaganda arm says that they are his “timepieces” which help him monitor spacetime, but in reality it was the source of all Equestrian Magic based on Friendship!
“You are smart, Phyllis. Pray tell what would happen if somepony found all three of those crystals and put them together? ” J-corn asks his secretary rhetorically.
“Well, Friendship would return, and with Friendship comes cooperation, which then leads to everypony working together to hurt each other! We don’t want that, now do we?”
Clapping his hooves in approval, the Clockwork King smiles at his secretary’s erudition.
“That’s right. The pony tribes must stay separated for each of their own sakes! That’s why only the smartest among you are hired to work for me. The nuance of temporal security is too complex for most. It’s not pony racism, its about protection! By the way, I would love to meet your colt Sprout one day. From what you’ve told me, he'll make a good governor of your district when he grows up! You know I still have a bunch of old puzzles from the Imperial Era. Maybe he can try one for fun? If he gets it right, I can give him a cool artifact from the past!”
“He would love to, sire. Now, can I go back to Maretime Bay? I am a mom too! I finished all your paperwork for today sire.”
“You are dismissed. Feel free to take a snack! You won’t be charged!” He says with a smirk, as the doors of his chambers magically open and Phyllis leaves.
“I wonder if my former student has a point about his daughter. I still won’t put a hoof on her, but I have to check the timelines again!” And with that, the Clockwork King’s mane begins glowing teal, and his eyes whitening as he checks all of spacetime for possible futures.
When it finally hits him, his magic stops flowing and he falls to the floor in shock.
“This Sunny … Even though there is a 1 in 14,000,605 chance of her winning, there is something about her that terrifies me to my core. Damn promises! Magic Man! What sayeth thee about this Sunny Starscout?” Ever since his mother was put in limbo, the Clockwork King has reverted to using the Royal Canterlot Dialect under extreme pressure. It helps to calm his nerves.
The Clockwork King flies to the Hourglass where his mother’s body is being regenerated. Putting his hooves on the glass, he begins to sob uncontrollably. “Mom… I don’t know what to do! I have so much blood on my hooves, but I am trying to bring you back! I can’t kill a foal! I’ve never killed a foal! I am so close to bringing you back!”
The Clockwork King flies back to his quarters and sobs his eyes out, horrified at how much blood he has shed, but he still needs to try and bring Luna back to him.
“Only… 25 million more… souls. I can do this. Just go for the Changelings. They have magic, but no hearts.”
<... I'll be here… You'll see the light… You have to…>
He can keep lying to himself, but eventually, his grief and guilt will catch up with him. Maybe Sunny will be the pony to help him? In the end, it didn’t matter, because if the Magic Man succeeded, he’d be erased. Along with all the bad things he’s done over 200 years or so.
Chapter 10: A Time Travelling Date!
Well, besides experiencing existential dread about the future of Equestria, I have had a lot of other things on my mind. I just finished a two-week intensive at the School of Friendship to “keep my rage in check”, but I fear that might not be enough. Luna thinks I am going to snap eventually, but I keep reassuring her that I won’t. Twilight told me that for the sake of maintaining order, my mom and sister need to go back to Earth and live their normal, human lives. Something about staying in another universe too long and messing with “strings”? Why am I not affected by this?
It doesn’t matter, anyways. My castle is finally built! I picked a location on the frontier of Equestria and the Crystal Empire. I found that the flow of time can be most easily sensed here. I caught some dragons trying to use a spell to rewrite history in order to get a lot more gems. I caught them and gave them a little conversation about that. Nothing to warrant Tartarus, though. Twilight told me I need to be VERY certain of an offense before deciding to incarcerate ponies. The Magic Man hasn’t been talking as much lately, which both puts me at ease and terrifies me. Did I do something to cause his absence? Maybe I need to do someth-
“Clockwork… thou hast a date today in ninety minutes time! We suggest thou prepareth accordingly! This is an issue of national security!”
Oh, crud! I forgot that I have a date today with Starlight Glimmer. I am glad she kept things rather professional during my two-week intensive.
“Oh yeah. Thanks for the reminder, ma! Also, thanks for helping me move in here!”
“With pleasure, dear. Now, as the stallion in a relationship, our niece gave thee cue cards on what to do. Please review them before embarking on thy date!”
Good point. I use my magic to grab the cue cards from my rather large bedroom , and look them over.
Tips for an anxious stallion in love:
Be yourself. If somepony wants to know something about you, you have nothing to hide. Tell them everything. Be chivalrous! Even in today’s age of alleged egalitarianism, a mare will always like somepony who thinks of her first. Hold doors, offer to pay for meals, and ask her what she wants. Keep your muzzle shut and your ears open. Some mares like to hear themselves talk, and if you are attentive, this will be a good way to their hearts. Breathe! This is the most crucial aspect. A mare can sense a nervous stallion from a mile away! Act cool, but not sleazy!
Sincerely, Mi Amore Cadenza
“Magic Man, don’t you have a marefriend? A little help here!”
I’d ask my mom, but… she divorced my dad when I was 10, and I don’t think she would be a big fan of me dating a pony, even though I am a pony. I’d also ask my moon mom, but she never dated anypony in her life!
“I am so… SO nervous about this!” I say a bit loudly, alerting Luna.
“Anxiety is normal. Just breathe… all will be well. We promise.”
I feel better at Luna’s comment, and I am more at ease. That doesn’t change the fact that I can’t look ahead at my own future, so I have NO idea if this date will go well or not! Regardless, I put on my “statespony face” and make sure that I look rather professional for my date. I don’t want to appear like a fool! Just as I am about to leave my new castle en route to Ponyville for my date, I get a telepathic call.
“Clockwork… anypony home?”
Celestia… WHY does Celestia have to butt into everything. I want to scream, but I have to maintain a proper state of decorum.
“DO I ANSWER?!”
Okay then...
“Well first, it’s AUNTY Celestia, since Luna adopted you as her son. Secondly, I heard somepony is falling in love, and saving Equestria at the same time?”
“Yes… that is exactly what is happening. I don’t suppose you have any tips or tricks so I don’t look like a foalish pony?” Might as well ask her for advice. She is the oldest alicorn I know!
“I’ve never dated anypony before. Cadence is the first alicorn I have ever met who was willing to date somepony. Her a-mortality doesn’t seem to phase her one bit. My sister and I have been more cautious. I just revel in my students, and now Luna enjoys your company! I just wanted to call to wish you good luck!”
Well, this is a pleasant turn of events. I don’t like Celestia one bit, but at least she is trying to seem benevolent.
“T...thank you, aunty Celestia.” I say begrudgingly.
“No problem. Try not to fly home with any cider in your system! Alicorn or not, stallions can get quite tipsy!”
< Yes, but only if you drink something that would make Captain America tipsy...>
Well, I won’t drink. It doesn’t go well with me anyway. It takes a good thirty minutes to fly from my castle to the HayBurger, where Starlight and I will be having our first date. Again, love the Earth references on this guy!
Wish me luck, Magic Man!
“Daddy is probably at work now, so I can make myself some pancakes!” She says, walking into her kitchen and doing just that. For a seven-year-old filly, she is quite useful in the home. Her day afterward remains quite normal, she goes to school, plays with her friends, and does her homework.too normal. Usually, her father comes home from the Maretime Museum around suppertime, but he didn’t come back tonight. Sunny wanted to know what was going on!
“I wonder where my daddy is today. Obviously, he is working on something crucial!” She thinks to herself, wondering where her father could be. The next day came and went, and Sunny’s father was still nowhere to be found. This is something that Argyle would never do, so Sunny Started to get worried.
“I have to figure out what happened to my daddy!” Sunny says with resolve. The next morning came, and Sunny Starscout made her rounds across Maretime Bay, asking where her father could be. She asked Sprout’s mother Phyllis, who said “haven’t seen him all week.”. She asked Hitch’s mother, who didn’t see him either. Her friends also haven’t seen him!
“This is bad… This is really bad!” Sunny says frantically as she is galloping back to her house in sheer terror. Who could have possibly done anything to her father? Was it a pegasi abduction like the legends said? A unicorn brain-frying? No, it couldn’t be, her father wouldn’t be bested by such nonsense!
Running into her room, she begins to cry like a young foal. “I want my daddy, why is daddy gone! Is he hurt? Is… is he, no , he’s not! Princess Twilight, if you are real, and the legends are true, I could really use your help right now!” Looking at the Mane 6 figurines her father made for her, she knows that her father didn’t lie, and maybe somepony will look after her. She cries herself to sleep, not knowing what the future will hold.
“Sunny… Sunny…”
Sunny was still sleeping, but she heard somepony speaking to her. She didn’t recognize the voice. Her mind was racing. Who could possibly want to speak to her, and why was she able to hear if she was asleep? It doesn’t make any sense.
“Who...who are you? Why don’t I see who’s speaking?” Sunny says, scared out of her mind. Was this voice the entity that took her daddy away? Anything is possible!
“You really don’t recognize my voice? You write me letters every night, Sunny!”
Sunny gasped. That could only be one pony. “PRINCESS TWILIGHT?!?!”
“Yes, it’s me. I know you have a lot of questions, but I am really low on magic. I have to keep this brief. I think I might know what happened to your daddy.”
Sunny’s interest was immediately piqued, and a horrible thought came across her mind. “Wh… what happened to my daddy? Is… is he dead? ”
The voice sighed. “Well… he’s not alive, but he’s not dead . I think an old friend of mine might be the pony behind this.”
An old friend… Sunny’s mind raced and she tried to think about who this pony could be. “Nightmare Moon? She was defeated, no? The Tantabus? No, that was also defeated. Sunset Shimmer? Who could it be?”
“Somepony I loved like a brother. The Clockwork Prince.”
What? The Clockwork Prince? That didn’t make any sense to Sunny! Her father said he was a good pony!
“Your father was sent to the Place Beyond Time, and nopony can leave that place. He’s there, forever. I am sorry, honey. Even I can’t do anything about this.”
“B...but why would the Clockwork Prince want to hurt anypony? He… he was in love, his mother cared for him! I don’t get it!”
“He is a complicated pony. His wife betrayed him for the Legion of Doom fifty years after the prophecy came to fruition. She thought he was delusional trying to restore Friendship, and wanted to start over. He tried to save his wife, but he failed, and Princess Luna almost died.”
“Wait, I thought you alicorns can’t die! I don’t get it!”a-mortal , not immortal. We cannot die of old age or natural causes, but we can be killed. The Clockwork Prince loved two ponies more than anything: Princess Luna and his wife. With both of them gone, he had no reason to keep up my Friendship mandates. He… he is killing millions of ponies to try to bring Princess Luna back to life!”
The very thought scared Sunny to her core. “But… can’t you do anything about this?!”
The voice sighed. “The fight that killed Celestia, Clockwork’s wife, and almost killed Luna, also killed me . My body is gone, and I only exist in dreams, and barely at that.”
What… Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, dead?
Sunny began to cry. “I… I wanted nothing more than to be Your Faithful Student! I… I can’t now. I am so upset!”
The voice felt sad, but couldn’t do anything. “I understand. I had many students of my own back in the day, and I would have been honored to have you as one of them, but, it cannot come to pass. However, I do have a mission for you.
Sunny stopped crying and sniffled a little bit. “A… a mission? What kind of mission?”
“The Clockwork Prince did not separate everypony, but he makes sure that they stay separated. He needs the anger and hatred so the ponies die early, perfect for the magic to be taken from them. He uses these ponies’ magic to try and bring his mother back from the dead. For a time pony, this is a really stupid plan on his part. He will fail. His mother is gone! Now, for the mission. For his coronation, I gave him a gift. I don’t know if this gift still exists, but I do know that if you do what your father wanted, and try to reunite the ponies, the Clockwork Prince will see the error of his ways. If you reunite ponykind, the gift will heal him. He is not an evil pony, I knew him for over a hundred years. He… he’s just complicated.”
“So… how do I reunite the ponies? My father tried and was laughed at almost every day!”
“Just be yourself, Sunny. It might take a (really) long time, but the Magic of Friendship always wins. My magic is running out, and I wish you luck.”
The voice disappeared. “Wait, I have so many more questions-” Sunny pleaded, but the dream ended, and Sunny woke up in a cold sweat. “T...that was really Princess Twilight. I… I have to honor my daddy. From now on, I will dedicate my life to bringing Magic back for everypony. It’s what he always wanted!”
***
“Greetings, sire! How is everything?” The hostpony says while bowing.
I was half expecting Starlight to just teleport in front of me and say “with me, dingus”. I was right. I saw five seconds ahead!
“Starlight. You’ve done time travel before, right?” I ask rhetorically, knowing full well she has traveled through time in the past (pun intended!).
“Uhh, yeah! What’s your brilliant idea?” She says dryly.
“1933 CE. Why?” She asks me. Before she could ask a follow-up question, my horn flashes and the two of us are surrounded in magic. The image of a clock turning backward appears in front of us, spinning faster and faster. We see people moving backward in the restaurant. We see the moon rise, and the sun set, over and over again. In thirty seconds, the spell dissipates, and we arrive at a much more modest restaurant in the same location.
“How’d you like to have a meal at the Grand Opening of Ponyville?” I say with a grin. Starlight’s eyes widened in awe. “You…you went back 88 years, for me?”
I chuckle a bit. “Well, you don’t have time magic anymore, so I thought I’d give you a blast from the past! I checked the timeline before we left, and they serve the same food. I checked EVERYTHING before we left. Trust me!”, smiling at the thought. A young, green earth pony mare approaches us, notebook in hoof, ready to take my order.
Of course! The Apple clan were the founders of Ponyville! It makes perfect sense for Granny Smith to be working at the HayBurger in 1933!
“Well howdy, you two. Y’all must be new settlers! What are y’all going to eat here today at this fine establishment ?”
I try to remember the dialect from the 1930s on Earth, and I assume it is the same in this Equestria.
“How about two house specials with crisps?”
“Certainly. Remember, Princess Celestia just revoked prohibition a few weeks ago, so if y’all want a cider, it’s on the house!”
That’s right! Prohibition ended on Earth in 1933. What is it with these two universes’ key historical dates having more than coincidental overlap?
Just as Granny Smith went to the kitchen to place our orders (with free cider), I noticed something odd. I see someponies fighting at the front door! A zebra is being restrained by two unicorns. Why? She wanted to eat at the HayBurger!
“What are you doing? We don’t let your kind in here! Git!”
Oh yeah… racism is a thing. Poor zebra. She just wants to eat here like anycreature else!
“Clockwork! You have to do something. This is not cool!”
“I can’t! Just being here disrupts the timeline. Just ignore it and eat in peace. Look! Granny Smith came with our food.” I interject, noticing that she came back with our platters!
“Noah Weinstein! I am ashamed of you! Twilight told me what happened to your people in “Europe” all those years ago. Isn’t this how it all started?”
That DAMN Egghead telling her everything.“Magic Man, can you time travel?! What should I do?!”
“Do something, you dolt! What would happen if your mom saw you like this?”
“Well, I disguised myself as a regular unicorn when time traveling back, you want me to disrupt time?”
“NO, just save the Zebra, look what those goons are doing to her!”
Starlight is not wrong, the unicorns are constricting the zebra in chains and loading her into a wagon, presumably to be incarcerated, deported, or both!
“I’ll give you a kiss if you save her” she says with a grin.
Oh, to feel the touch of a woman! On it!
I make my way over to the two unicorns, still disguised as one.
“Hello good sir, we are busy detaining this Equus Quagga who violated Celestia Statute 201 on nonpony racial interaction. Please stand aside as we are working.”
In a blink of an eye, the wagon’s door disappears, and the zebra exits the wagon.
“Somepony here, quite sublime, is an alicorn in disguise, who can master time.”
The buck? I saved her flank from these pony racists and she outs me to the authorities.
“Just shut up quagga! Nopony takes what you have to say seriously! There must be another reason for your unexpected release. Guards, please detain her again. She needs to know her place. Use force this time!”
Oh no, you don’t! My wings grow back, and my mane gets to alicorn size. Now or never! “זאוואדו! עצור את הזמן! !!"
(Time! grind to a halt!). Everything and everypony freezes in place.
“Clockwork, what the hell are you doing?”
Wait, Starlight can move in frozen time? She runs towards me, with pleading eyes.
“I am going to teach these bastards a lesson! This was YOUR idea, was it not?”WORLD of frozen time?”. This genuinely interests me.
“חלפו שתי שניות” (Two seconds have passed)
“Want to see an attack rush?-wait never mind, you said not to hurt them.” I quickly correct myself, use my magic to teleport the zebra to a safe location, and take a deep breath.
“הזמן יזרום שוב.” (time will flow once again) I say, resuming the flow of time. The two unicorn policemen are confused, rightfully so. Zebras are not able to cast magic, so how was she able to disappear?
“Hold on a sec, when did you grow wings?” One of the policemen asked me suspiciously, before panicking.
“Time to run, Clockwork!” Starlight says, moving close to me. I quickly act, casting the spell to return us to our proper place in time. We finally made it back to 2021 CE!
“Wait a minute, J-corn. Did you cause a butterfly effect?” Starlight asks me worryingly.
“Not sure, let me check!”, quickly checking all the alternate timelines from that moment, I see that the only change to spacetime was that zebras got equal rights a few years earlier than before.
“Nothing much. Just suffrage for Zebras 10 years early. Everything else is the same. You made a smart choice telling me to run, and-” I was about to finish saying something, but Starlight kissed me on the lips!
“Uhhhh… you are going WAY too quickly!” I think to myself, not daring to tell her how I truly felt about this.
“Saving somepony you never met for the greater good was the most romantic thing anypony has ever done for me! Heck, even when I was dating Starburst all those years ago, he never did anything that nice!”
“No funny business until we marry, okay? You know the rules.” I say, setting a clear boundary.
“Woah, somepony is moving quickly! I didn’t even say we’re going on a second date yet!” Starlight says, laughing her flank off.
Wow… I feel like an idiot. I was trying to set a boundary, not be weird!
“Just kidding! We’re going on a second date. I get your position on the matter, now… tell me more about this Talmud thing you are obsessed with?! Luna tried explaining it to me, but she didn’t do a good job!”
“Well, it started two millennia ago in 70 CE, when the Temple was destroyed…”
<... Gulp.>