“CANNONBALL!” Smolder called out before taking a running leap off the cliff into the lava pit, tucking her knees in to ensure the maximum splash zone.

Spike and Ember shielded their faces from the ensuing lava that flew everywhere.

“Nice, I think it went higher than last time!” Ember grinned.

“Awesome!” Smolder swam to the edge of the lava to climb out and jump off again.

As they waited for Smolder’s next attempt, Spike turned to Ember as they relaxed on the edge. “So, how was your trip to the rock farm?”

Ember half-heartedly shrugged. “Well, the journey wasn’t anything that interesting, if I’m being honest. But being there! Oh it was great!” the dragon was already starting to salivate just recalling her journey.

“Heh, so Trixie wasn’t a pain to travel with or anything?” Spike chuckled, stretching out his wings.

“Eh, not really.” Ember shook her head. “She was the one preventing the trip from being boring.”

“How so?”

“Well, aside from telling me all about the cool things at the rock farm, I got to look around at all the stuff inside her caravan, and she was telling me like where she got it with like this big story of her traveling around Equestria to get it. She even performed a few of them for me, which was neat to see her special talent.”

“Oh cool, your own private show, huh?”

“Yeah, I tried to ask about how all her tricks worked, but she wouldn’t tell me. She just kept insisting that ‘it’s maaaagic’ like that was supposed to be enough of an explanation,” Ember said, waving her hands with a sarcastic flourish.

“A magician’s gotta have her secrets,” Spike shrugged.

“The box full of dicks, however, she was more than happy to tell me about in great detail.”

Spike let out a wheezing laugh, the sheer bluntness of Ember’s statement catching him off-guard.

“HERE I GOOOOO!” Smolder yelled, sprinting off the edge, diving down before curling up to make another towering kersploosh.

“Jeez, that one got some distance…” Spike noted.

“Haaah, that was a good one…” Smolder swam over to the edge of the pit, joining Spike and Ember. “So what’d I miss?”

“Oh, I was just talking about all of Trixie’s dildos.”

“Awesome!”

“Surprisingly, Trixie had a lot to say about each of them. Like how each one felt, which ones she’s used the most. I dunno if she was trying to trick me into trying them myself, but she was almost as enthusiastic talking about sex than her magic tricks.”

Smolder snickered. “Maybe it’s just being pent up that’s getting to her.”

“Yeah, I agree with that. Would explain a lot, honestly. Anyway, once we got to the rock farm, oh it was amazing!” Ember gushed. “Like, it was dusty and full of rocks, it just needed some lava and mountains and it would’ve been just like home!”

Spike playfully rolled his eyes as Smolder listened intently.

“Oh and the food they had, it was amazing! One of those ponies cracked a rock open and they were just full of little gems! And the place was full of them! It was like the ultimate feast!”

Smolder’s jaw dropped. “No way! That sounds awesome!” She turned to Spike, elbowing him in the ribs. “How come you didn’t tell us this place existed?”

“Cause’ I knew that if you did, you’d wanna spend your whole life there.” Spike snarked. “I don’t wanna hear it from Pinkie in the future how much trouble you’d be giving her sisters.”

“In the end, it was definitely worth the trip. Maybe Trixie could take me there again sometime.” Ember grinned, already imagining going through another full course of geode gems.

“Considering the firework display we saw, I’m pretty sure Trixie’s gonna want to return pretty soon,” Spike said, chuckling along with Smolder.

“Yeah, I was kinda busy eating to see what exactly happened with her,” Ember admitted. “So I guess it worked out.”

“You think that Trixie travelled all the way over there just to intentionally lose?” Smolder wondered out loud.

“I doubt she masterminded her own demise like that,” Spike shook his head. “If she did, she probably would’ve done it waaaay earlier in the month.”

“Alright, that’s it. One of you has GOT to take me there sometime!” Smolder said, looking between the other two dragons.

“So it’s my understanding that it’s pony custom to visit other farms to have sex right?” Ember asked, looking at Spike. “Cause I’m totally down for that part of pony culture.”

A bewildered Spike slowly shook his head. “No, that’s...wrong.”

Ember sank a little lower into the lava. “It’s hard to believe that this month’s almost over.”

“Tell me about it, it’s been driving me crazy.” Spike nodded, leaning his head back to blow smoke out of his nostrils. “But it’s totally gonna be worth it. Still got a ways to go before it’s finally over, though.”

Ember nodded in agreement. “Yeah, no reason to despair over it when we’re so close to finishing.”

Smolder sighed, crossing her arms. “Wish I didn’t cave in so easily,” she grumbled. “I wanted to make it, but Rarity just...rrrgh! She was just too tempting!”

Spike’s body tensed up, blinking in confusion. “Wait, what?”

“Well, she-” Smolder paused, blushing as she had to explain her own undoing in a way that wouldn’t be completely embarrassing. “I remember her coming into one of the classrooms and...she just...she got me, ok?”

“...Wait, what?”

“C’mon, don’t make me explain how-”

“No I heard it,” Spike interjected, cutting through Smolder’s words. “But I was definitely out gem hunting with Rarity the whole day when you got eliminated.”

“What? You gotta be lying or something, cause I swear she was with me!”

Spike simply shrugged. “I dunno what to tell ya, but I know she was with me that day. Went to her house that morning and everything.”

“That doesn’t make sense, how could Rarity be in two places at-” Smolder’s confused expression suddenly turned deadly serious. “Oh. Oh she’s doomed.”

Spike and Ember watched as Smolder wordlessly climbed out of the lava and flew off.

Spike glanced over to Ember. “Should...we do something about that?”

“Eh, I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.”

“I hope…”

Author's Note

Dun dun dunnnn...

Happy Thanksgiving, here's a bunch of references to a slightly obscure murder mystery franchise.