Chapters “And that's when she said 'No! You have chicken mouth!'” Pinkie Pie cackled, then proceeded to slap the tabletop multiple times, rattling an array of empty plates and half-consumed bottles of beer and wine. “Hah hah hah hah!” She hugged herself, teetering backwards in her chair until she nearly fell to the floor completely. Both Applejack and Flash Sentry had to reach their arms in to steady her, and Pinkie tipped back safely towards the table, wheezing. “Ohhhhhhhhhhh I guess that's something of an inside joke.”
“Yeah...” Starlight Glimmer nodded. “Maybe I had to have been here.” The special guest of the night took another sip of human-world alcohol, desperately hoping that the fabled 'buzz' would kick in, but all she felt was woozy . She steadied herself by gazing amicably at the circle of friends gathered at the late night restaurant outing before her. Off in the distance, waiters and servers were cleaning off various tables, beginning the long process of stacking chairs upside down, clearing registers of the day's profit, and preparing the establishment for a full close. “Y'know, some of our chickens come with dragon tails.” Starlight smirked, as if the following anecdote could somehow be on par with Pinkie's randomness. “And when they stare at you directly, you become hard as granite.”
“Cockatrices.” Sunset Shimmer pointed with a knowing smirk. She sat besides Flash Sentry with her arms folded, pulling the pose off with far more simian grace than Starlight could ever hope to achieve at that rate. “Equestria's one and only way of getting stoned .”
“What, are there no drugs in ponyland?” Rainbow Dash spoke into her beer with an eyebrow raised.
“Well—there's cider.” Starlight bit her lip with mixed embarrassment and frustration. “Which—I must admit—typically does a better job than what we're having right now.”
“What?? You're knockin' our brew, foo???” Pinkie barked.
“Simmer down, sally,” drawled Applejack. “She just means they make a fine kickin' drink over there beyond the mirror.” The tall and muscular woman brushed her blonde bangs back with a proud smirk. Her trademark hat rested neatly (and politely) on the corner rest of her chair. “Lemme guess—it's the finest apple distillation...?”
“That's all I care to sample whenever I'm in Ponyville~” Starlight said in a sing-songy tone.
“Heh heh! Darn tootin'!” Applejack leaned back with well-toned arms crossed behind her head. “No wonder this here stuff ain't doin' it for her!”
“No doubt her body mass is a major factor,” Twilight Sparkle said.
Starlight nearly spat out her last sip. “B'excuse me...?!” she gawked at Twilight with a dangerous smirk.
“Erhmmm...” Twilight shrunk slightly, leaning towards the taller figure seated beside her. “...all I mean is—you get bigger in size once you pass through the mirror, right?”
“Hahahah... Twi's just spittin' facts, Glim-Glam.” Timber Spruce wrapped a loving arm around Twilight's shoulder and winked at the group's guest. “After all—ponies in Equestria are about the size of regular house cats.” A beat. His goofy smile lingered as he blinked. “...aren't they?”
“That is a baseless and unfounded rumor,” Starlight said. She picked her bottle up and raised it to her lips. Her next words echoed feebly into the upper hollow of the container, providing a metallic tone: “But you're both on point. ”
The other nine humans around the table laughed merrily. All but one. In a very warm and melodic tone, Fluttershy's voice cooed its wispy way through the cacophony of chuckles:
“Awwwwwww...! That means you're absolutely small and fuzzy and cuddable all of the time~!”
Starlight's eyes instantly lifted. As did her pulse. She opened her mouth to respond—
“Yes yes—ponies are certainly quite adorable , darling,” Rarity rolled her tongue, along with her eyes. A true blue vampire. “Which only makes sense that their spirits aren't so easily crippled by alcoholic beverages, Equestrian or Terran.” What followed was a mischievous smirk as the fashionista leaned suggestively forward in her seat while elegantly swirling a glass of wine with a well-manicured hand. “However—what about the more velvety vices?” she purred.
“Buh?” Pinkie blinked crookedly.
“She's talkin' about sex,” Applejack belched, visibly deflating Rarity's cougarish veneer.
“Buhhhhhhhh...” Pinkie nodded, only to sport a cheekish smile. “Rockinghorse time!”
“Oh gosh...” Twilight Sparkle facepalmed, if only to hide a furious blush spreading beneath her thick-rimmed spectacles. “One way or another, it always comes to this conversation.”
“Well, if it did , nobody would be in the mood to have it any longer,” Timber said with a wink.
“Pfft. You mean you wouldn't.” Twilight playfully swatted his shoulder. “Mr. One Way Ticket to Slumberland!”
“Augh!” Timber pantomimed a bullet to the chest. “Stream sniped~~!”
“Heehee—!”
“Oh pleeeeease ...” Rarity swirled both her eyes and wine, centering once again upon the table with a sultry smirk. “We're all adults here!”
“True that.” Applejack stifled a yawn, then smirked sideways at the much smaller woman seated beside her. “Rainbow Dash excluded, of course.”
Rainbow nearly choked on her beer, spurting: “H-hey!”
Half the table giggled at her expense.
“I'm as legal as it gets! Four and a half years and counting!” Rainbow held up fingers for emphasis—having to count and adjust them midway through the exclamation. She teetered slightly in her seat and slurred further: “Same as you stupid dipshits!”
“Then how come yer always the only one in the group to get carded?” Applejack's teeth glinted behind her smirk.
“Not my fault that they're profiling!”
“Or that you're so adorably tiny ,” Rarity added.
“I'm not small...!” Rainbow next sipped with poise and elegance, nose tilted up. “I'm just built for compact parking!”
“More like 'compact boinking,'” Pinkie added with a giggle-snort.
“Oh, isn't that the truth,” Sunset Shimmer suddenly interjected. “It's no secret that Rainbow's a pegasus on the other side of the mirror—both Rainbow Dashes.” The redhead shrugged her jacketed shoulders for emphasis, smiling. “And pegasi absolutely love to fuck nonstop.”
“Pfffft!” Flash Sentry nearly suffered a seizure beside her. “G-goddammit, Sunset—!” His voice was stuck between a laugh and a wheeze.
“I mean it!” Sunset grinned crookedly, glancing at all the others. “Canterlot citizens call them 'sky jackrabbits' for a reason!”
“She's not wrong...” Starlight said, squirming left and right in her chair with an amused smirk. “It's a damn good thing most of those clouds are moisture absorbent .”
“Ugh...” Twilight facepalmed again. “I can't believe I'm hearing this...”
Starlight chuckled. “Is it really that surprising?”
Sunset looked over. “You know that smell of rain shortly after Cloudsdale swoops over town to collect moisture?”
“Like wet feathers and sourdough bread,” Starlight nodded back with a knowing glint in her eyes. “Back home, my dad taught me to drink bottled water for a week after the megastratopolis moved out.”
“So you also know that old mare's tale about getting your stomach pregnant!”
“Yes! ” Starlight glimmered. “Kindergarteners used to pretend that our livers would sprout wings and fly for the horizon!”
“Okay...” Rainbow Dash pointed a finger. “Your culture is fucking weird .”
“To each their own.” Rarity brushed her bangs back and smiled glamorously at their guest. “I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel... secure in knowing that cute and colorful quadrupeds get it on —as t'were—as much as we humans do.”
“Ain't that a tad bit uncouth of you to admit, Rares?” Applejack asked.
“Most indubitably.” Rarity sipped her wine.
“Uhm...” Fluttershy leaned back, her beautiful face hiding a bit behind her lengthy pink locks. “When I first heard that Starlight was going to pay us another visit, I didn't think we'd be talking about this ...” She brushed at her bangs, only for the fuchsia threads to slide straight back. Massive hair on a massive woman. In just a few short years, the human avatar of kindness had grown splendidly tall, so that a stunned Starlight had to lift her twitching eyes up a bit to take in the full scale of her beauty and—
“Things change,” Sunset Shimmer said. “And so do priorities.” She leaned her hand on her chin. “Equestrian magic's been pretty tame this side of the mirror lately. We've spent these years working more on our careers than our superheroism...”
“And our music,” Rainbow added with a touch of bitterness.
Sunset weathered a brief sigh but smiled on. “It's refreshing to touch base after so long... especially since now we can afford to do so without the proverbial safety gloves.”
“Gloves?” Starlight blinked.
Rarity held one hand up and wiggled her painted nails.
“Oh. Right.” Starlight wiggled her hand back. She paused—gazing at her fingers—then focused through the rising fog on a nugget of courage. “Say... speaking on the subject of sky jackrabbits doin' it...”
“Oh boy...” Flash Sentry tensed up. “...should I be scared of where this is going?”
“Sssshhh...” Sunset Shimmer patted his shoulder with a coy wink. “Take it easy, honey. What have you left to be freaked out about while you're around us at this point?”
The young man blinked. “Heh...” He stroked his stubbled chin with a crooked smirk. “Well said.”
“What's on your mind, Starlight?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Rarity put it best. We're all adults here—equine or otherwise.” Starlight Glimmer smiled at the group as a whole, her eyes bright and curious. “I've been meaning to ask you people something for a long... long time...”
“And what is that?” Rarity asked.
Starlight cocked her head to the side. “Just what is each of your types ?”
The table was silent. The sound of rattling plates and stacked chairs echoed across the emptying restaurant in the distance.
“Our... types...?” Rainbow Dash repeated blankly.
“Y'know...” Starlight waved her hand floppily as if it was still a hoof. “...your—”
“Ohhhhhhhhhhh...!” Rainbow sat up at full height, which was still dwarfed by Applejack and others seated beside her. “Our types !”
“Right.” Starlight smirked. “Can't blame a scholarly unicorn for wanting to do some field research.”
“Uhhhhh...” Timber Spruce smiled nervously, reaching over with both hands to gently and lovingly squeeze Twilight Sparkle's shoulders. “This! This right here is my t-type!” He smiled sweatily, eyes locked tightly on the group's inquisitive guest. “This lovely lady and nobody else!”
As the rest of the table chuckled, Twilight icily turned to squint at her significant other. “...you're pretty darn quick to slide safely into first base, there, Mister.”
“What can I say?” Timber scratched the back of his head with a sheepish smile. “The moment I got there, it was far too nice and comfy to leave!”
“Hmmm.” Twilight smiled, rosy-cheeked. “Touche.” Adjusting her glasses, she turned to look at Starlight while pointing a single finger at Timber. “My type is adorkable outdoorsy goofs ... obviously .”
“Mmmmm...” Timber shifted in his seat slightly. “...what about that one summer that you were really really really into Rosette Nebula?”
“... … ...she never made it to first base.”
“Hah!” Timber nudged Twilight's shoulder. “Touche back at ya.”
“Oh, Twilight, don't kid yourself, sweetie.” Rarity winked playfully. “You always did have a sweet spot for tall, prim, proper, authority figures.”
“Wait.” Timber blinked at the group. “What?”
“Heehee! Yeah!” Pinkie Pie bounced in her seat. “Remember back at CHS? Whenever Principal Celestia would make a booming announcement over the P.A. system??” She pointed towards Twilight's seat with a goofy smirk. “She always had to excuse herself for an emergency bathroom break!!! Ha ha!”
“Wait.” Timber blinked at Twilight. “What? ”
“Mmmmmm...” Twilight blushed deeply into her next sip of beer.
“My turn~” Rarity rang forth.
Starlight did a double-take, ultimately pivoting to face the fashionista. “O-oh! Okay...!”
“A tall, muscular, handsome, strapping young beau,” Rarity said, fanning herself.
Starlight stroked a loose bang of hair, thoughtfully. “I see.”
“I've never totally understood that term,” Pinkie said, face scrunched. “Just what does 'strapping' mean?”
“It means they've no need to strap anything on themselves because mother nature did all that work already ,” Rarity added, fanning herself even more. “And now...” She bit her bottom lip as elegantly as she could. “...it's their time to put in the work.”
Applejack sighed to the ceiling. “Land's sake...”
“Scoff all you want!” Rarity took a sip of wine and upturned her nose. “It might seem bland and normal—but give me a well-equipped stud any day of the week!”
“Just that?” Starlight stifled a giggle. “Well-equipped?”
“Well...” Rarity had to pause in fanning herself. “N-no. Not just that .” She tongued the inside of her mouth as she carved circles in the inner atmosphere of the restaurant above them. “There's most definitely more to a prospective male partner than stamina, muscle, and oodles of sexual energy.”
“Really...?” Rainbow Dash droned.
A pause.
“Fine! ” Rarity downed the rest of her glass of wine, exhaled, and poured herself some more, all the while griping: “Just give me walking slabs of meat and I am quite satiated!”
“'Satiated,' eh?” Applejack smirked aside at Rainbow. “You notice she said 'slabs'—plural...?”
“That I did.” Rainbow high-fived Applejack, chuckling.
Applejack high-fived her back, chuckling too.
“Oh please...” Rarity sat sideways in her chair, wine glass raised and legs crossed indignantly. “...fantasize a little.”
“Not that much into monogamy, I take it...?” Starlight asked.
Upon hearing that, Rarity locked eyes with the guest. “Well, I have a career , Ms. Glimmer,” she said in a suddenly sober tone. “It burdens me to say this, but—I haven't the time to sacrifice for a long-term relationship... much less children or a committed marriage...”
“Y'know...” Sunset shrugged. “Whichever comes first.”
“Hah!” Rarity laughed, gazing thoughtfully into her wine. “But—every now and again—if a fine specimen of masculinity were to breeze my way, I would make it completely worth his while... so long as he made it worth my while.” She took a sip, swallowed, and licked her painted lips. “But only for an evening.”
“But what if they were really really 'strapping'?” Pinkie mused.
Rarity squinted. Rarity hummed. Rarity spat: “Fine. Two evenings. But no more~”
The table chuckled.
Starlight smiled, looking across the table. “How about you, Pinkie Pie?”
“Hmmm? Oh! Pffft...” The woman tossed her frizzly head of hair and rolled her eyes. “Pass.”
“Pass??” Rainbow squinted.
“Uhhhh... I can pass, right?” Pinkie gnawed on her lip. “If that's okay'n'stuff?”
“S-sure thing!” Starlight threw back a friendly smile. “Not like there're any rules to this question!”
“Cuz—the way I see it—my life is fullllll enough as it is with the creamy frosting of friendship and party planning and birthday parties and baking for the Cakes...!” Pinkie practically stood up in her chair, waving her arms about dramatically. “I'm just bouncin' around too much to settle down for... laying down... with someone?? I guess??? Sooooooo...” She slumped back in her chair and balanced an empty beer bottle atop her nose. “Why bother with getting full up with 'creamy frosting' of another sort—errrr —!” She lost her balance, and Applejack and Flash had to steady her again, meanwhile she caught the empty bottle in sweaty palms before it could drop to the floor. A tender gulp, and she smiled innocently at Starlight across the table. “Does that make any sense?”
Rarity answered for her. “It absolutely does, darling~” She brandished a warm, sisterly smile. “And there's nothing wrong with that.”
“Good! Cuz the next time I get called a 'Crazy Kit Kat Lady' by some wacky rando, I'm liable to choke a biscuit!” Pinkie Pie cackled.
“Well said, sister,” Sunset Shimmer purred.
Starlight looked at her. “Sunset?”
Sunset smiled back. “Starlight!” A blink. “...oh! Right . Uhm... haven't we talked about this before?”
“You have?” Flash Sentry squinted at her.
Sunset rolled her eyes, then sat up with confidence. “Depends on how ever which way the wind blows. In or out.”
“Meaning...?” Starlight squinted.
“Uhm... duhhhh ?” Rainbow Dash smirked. “She plays for both teams.”
“Ohhhhhhhhhh...” Starlight nodded.
“I always suspected as much...” Timber Spruce pointed at Sunset across the table. “Does that have something to do with you being a pony that moved into the human world?”
Sunset squinted back. “It has something to do with the fact that I'm bi , ya melon fuck.”
“Oh.” Timber blushed down into the table, shrinking a bit. “I knew that.”
Twilight chuckled and patted Timber's shoulder. “I know for a fact that Sunset has—or had —a thing for mousey, soft-spoken, bookwormish types.”
“Oh really...?” Starlight's gaze flicked between Twilight and Sunset across the table. Then her gaze flicked harder. “Oh really!” she sat up.
“But...” Sunset was already rolling her eyes, blushing a bit. “...that's all in the past.”
“Praise God...” Timber simpered, hair noticeably ruffled. “Cuz I'd have no friggin' chance ,” he said through a crooked smile.
“Hmmmm...” Twilight pecked him on the lips. “...says you, goofball~”
“Not gonna pretend...” Starlight held a guilty hand up. “I had no honest idea.”
“Neither did we,” Sunset said, gazing across the table. “For a short time, we tried it. Annnnd—”
“Crashed and burned ,” Twilight was already chuckling. “Hard.”
Starlight gulped. “How hard?”
“Well, we're still best friends , aren't we?” Twilight sing-songed.
“There's more to Twilight's type than has been said,” Sunset mused. “She wants an avatar of adorkablness who will stick around . Exclusively . And... well... my sails don't stick to one breeze.”
“Ahhhhh...” Starlight nodded. Inevitably, her eyes swept towards Flash.
Flash was already looking at her. “Go ahead.”
“And... uh...” Starlight motioned towards Sunset. “Are free-spirited polyamorous women your type?”
“Hmmmmmm...” Flash threw Sunset a half-glance, then wrapped an arm around her while smiling back at Starlight. “What's in a type?”
“Awwwwwwwwwwwww...” Starlight couldn't help but coo.
“Wait for it,” Applejack droned under her breath.
“Honestly, she just smells really good,” Flash droned. A coy wink. “Y'know, for a horse.”
“Guh!” Sunset shoved him hard.
Applejack chuckled as she and Rainbow Dash high-fived once again.
“What?” Flash shrugged, chuckling. “There's a reason I always sweep off the doormat to my place!”
Sunset crossed her arms, blushing a crimson shade to match her hair. “It's not like that .”
“I w-would hope not...!” Starlight sputtered.
“Sunset knows me like nobody else,” Flash said in a calm, meditative tone. He smiled gently, like admiring an autumn afternoon. “Whenever she's around, life feels... just right . I'm happy around her. Comfortable. Self-assured.” He caressed her hair with a loving look. “Why would I rob her of all of those feelings by insisting she stuck to just this moron...?”
Sunset sighed melodically, then gestured at the man beside her. “Now how can I argue with that ?”
“How indeed,” Starlight mused.
Pinkie finished chewing on a breath mint. “Mrmmmfff—maybe it's because Flashie is extra 'strapping'...”
“Srkkkftt!!!” Rarity spat out some wine and furiously dabbed her chin.
“Mmmmmm... no comment...” Flash blushed.
“Comment...” Sunset raised her hand. “Won't confirm or deny—but doesn't hurt .”
“Except when it hurts good ...!” Rainbow said. While Sunset and Flash cavorted with flabbergasted agony, she was already reaching over to slap Applejack's palm a third time. “Girl, we are on a roll tonight!”
“Hah hah hah! Eeeyup!” Applejack leaned casually back in her chair, chewing on a toothpick.
“What about you, AJ?” Starlight asked.
“What about what? Oh ...” Applejack plucked the toothpick out and sat up. “Spotlight's on me, I reckon...”
“Uh huh...” Starlight Glimmer smirked. “Lemme guess. A hard-working honest green-thumb?”
“... … … are ya tryin' to fix me up with my pony self beyond the mirror?”
The table chuckled collectively.
“Heeheehee... I dunno, am I?” Starlight smiled.
“Mmmmmmm... hard to say...” Applejack scratched her golden crown. Her eyes wandered briefly in Pinkie's direction.
Starlight followed the path. “You... you can pass too if you like—”
“Ain't that I wanna pass , really... just... I ain't all that sure.” Applejack leaned back again, albeit this time with a contemplative sigh. She stared through the empty plates and bottles of the table and muttered: “Reckon—just like Rarity—I ain't even got the time to put much thought of it.”
“You have a monumental load of responsibilities, darling,” Rarity said. Her gaze took on a melancholic gloss. “It's a shame that you haven't an equal to share that weight with.”
“Pffft...” Rainbow Dash wheezed. “An equal to AJ? ”
“Rainbow...” Twilight chided.
“There y'all go again... worryin' over me...” Applejack plucked her hat off the back of the chair and used it to fan herself as she gazed into some unnameable distance. “When I was a little'un, I used to think that—someday—I'd find myself a man to settle down with. We'd make our home on the same farm that my Ma and Pa settled in. We'd grow the same crops and harvest the same apples and carry on the same tradition as generations before. Only...” She gulped, shrugged, and exhaled: “I've done a mighty fine job handlin' all that on my own.” A beat, and she glanced warmly at those across the table. “With a lil' help from my friends, of course.”
“Of course~” Sunset said, smiling in equal measure.
“Reckon my life is just about as busy as Rarity's, although that's a mite bit up to debate. All that matters is... I've got my hands full, and findin' someone else to hold one of 'em with is just complicatin' thangs.”
“Exactly!” Pinkie Pie squeaked.
“Do I miss the feelin' of companionship? Or the feelin' of belongin' to somebody??” Applejack shrugged again. “Well, I certainly get enough of that from family and folk close to me.”
“Exactly!!” Pinkie Pie squeaked once more, nodding.
“Guess all that leaves me with is missin' out on havin' a nice roll in the hay...”
“Exact —oh ...” Pinkie shrunk in her seat, twiddling a lock of frizzy pink hair. “I'llstopnow. ”
Applejack calmly looked over at Starlight. “I... dun really know if I have a type.” She scratched her neck. “If I was to ever hook up with somebody, I'd want them to be honest—yes. But also sincere... loyal... dependable... … … strong and self-determined and... … … ethical-like? Does that make any sense?”
“Does it have to?” Fluttershy spoke up, grabbing Starlight's attention for the first time in minutes. She saw the tall and coquettish individual smiling in Applejack's direction. “I don't think it requires much thought, Applejack. What makes you feel complete in this life is whatever's right by you.”
“Sure, I guess...”
“Or we could just hook her up with her pony self,” Rainbow droned.
“Heheheh...” Applejack twirled her hat and plopped it up on her own head, winking with a confident smile. “Reckon I'll know my type whenever I run into them. Does that answer your question.”
Starlight nodded with a smile. “Works for me.”
“Although...” Applejack suddenly tongued the inside of her mouth, glancing up through the ceiling. “...does a portable showerhead faucet count as a 'type'?”
Both Sunset and Twilight snorted in time with one another. Timber and Flash shared blank, dumb expressions.
“Cuz—whew- wee!” Applejack tilted the brim of her hat back, sporting the barest hint of a blush through her otherwise concrete freckles. “We might as well be goin' steady at this point!” She chuckled, resting elbows oafishly on the table's edge. “Can a gal relate?”
“I swear...” Rarity rolled her eyes before taking a final sip of her wine. “...no sense of imagination.”
Fluttershy giggled warmly, smiling politely at the fashionista. “She gave her answer—as did you, Rarity—and we should respect that~”
“Yes, but mine was far more riveting...”
“And boring ,” Rainbow muttered.
Meanwhile, Starlight's eyes were glittering. She leaned towards the edge of the table, her bright grin aimed at the fairest specimen in the room. “What about you, Fluttershy?”
A pair of turquoise eyes shrank under the shine of metaphorical headlights. “M-me...?”
The entire table drowned in silence, not that Starlight could presently be stabbed to notice—or care. A nameless enthusiasm spawned the words straight through her lips: “A graceful bachelorette such as you must have a type herself! Tell me! I'm dying to know!”
“D... d-dying...?” Fluttershy drifted away, as if stranded on a loose iceberg melting in the distance. For such a tall and buxom woman, she suddenly carried the feeble grace of a porcelain doll, shrinking more and more with each pulsating second that the question weighed on her. “I... uhm...”
Starlight Glimmer blinked, her smile fading under a thick veil of confusion. Sprinkled with slowly mounting concern.
“I... that is to say... ehm...” Fluttershy wrung her fingers together, shoulders hunched.
Rarity looked at Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash looked back at Rarity. Starlight noticed this, observing the sober opaqueness of that shared gaze, like drawing a protective curtain straight across the table that Starlight had inadvertently breached. Or nearly had.
“I... uh...” Fluttershy wrung her fingers even tighter. There was a sudden sheen covering her brow, and Starlight noticed her tilting—teetering—once or twice towards the edge of her seat, as if contemplating a plunge... a plunge that she never took. For—sighing and deflating—the womany soul inevitably drifted back into herself, exhaling with curved shoulders defeatedly slumped. “I... don't really have a type.”
Silence.
Starlight's lips pursed. Her eyes narrowed. “You sure...?”
“Hey! If she says she doesn't have a type, then she doesn't have one!” Pinkie Pie crossed her arms with a huff. “Finito doughnutto!”
“That's... th-that's totally fine...!” Starlight sputtered, nevertheless throwing a worried—if not curious—look over in the tall woman's direction—
“Works for me!” Rainbow Dash chugged... chugged... chugged a lasting bottle of beer, exhaled, and sat up with her tiny athletic hands rubbing tightly together. “Cuz it's my turn! Ya ready, pony lady?! Here we go!” She opened her mouth wide:
“Girls girls girls!!!” Rainbow Dash slurred, teetered, hiccuped, and slurred some more. While everyone stepped evenly out of the dining establishment under moonlight, her path was a certifiably serpentine one, anchored only by the steadying hands of Rarity and Fluttershy on either side of her. “Heeeeee hee hee hee!” She waved towards the heavens. “Tall girls!” She gestured towards the stars. “Muscular girls!” She kicked at the parking lot asphalt. “Even prissy girly girls !” She turned her head with a flash of spectral hair and growled in the direction of her other friends. “Ya hear that, Timber?! Sunset?! Y'all got some competition! Hic! So help me Goddessssss—!”
“Is...” Twilight Sparkle stepped evenly with Timber Spruce towards where their SUV was parked. “...is she talking about m—?”
“Nah. Just an incredibly pink simulation.” Timber Spruce waved over his partner's violet head. “Good luck with her , girls! Maybe make a coffee stop or two along the way home!”
“We should make it that far...” Rarity grunted, trying to keep Rainbow steady as she, Fluttershy, and Starlight approached where the fashionista's luxury town-car was parked. “Oh—my stars and garters —why do we always encourage her?? Such a small, petite frame! She should really stick to those family-friendly sports drinks.”
“Hell yeah—I'm a bite-sized subatomic clam-eater zooming straight out of Jodie Foster's Particle Accelerator at the speed of clitorises!” Rainbow Dash wheezed and whooped. “You want disaster lesbians?! Well—HIC! —I'm the Goddess-damn Fukushima meltdown of scissor conventions! Want your carpet cleaned overnight?! Just slap some t.A.T.u. on the radio and pull my string and I'll be all done before you can scream the complete works of Sappho! Hah!”
“Everything you just said was completely plebeian and offensive,” Rarity muttered. There trailed a tiny smile. “I can't wait to recount it all to Ms. Pommel on Monday.”
“Uhm...” Starlight Glimmer fidgeted in mid-step. “...is Rainbow Dash going to be okay?”
“Ohhhhhhh, she's harmless~” Fluttershy managed a motherly smile while gently guiding Rainbow towards their car. “We just need to get her home to a warm shower and bed.”
“Maybe she should be the one sleeping on the couch,” Starlight said with a nervous smile. “It's a lot closer to the toilet.”
“Don't be a sssssssilly pony, Starscream!” Rainbow stuck her tongue out at their Equestrian guest while Fluttershy fumbled with the rear passenger door. “Hic! If our bathroom was as far away as Pluto, you bet I could still run towards it! Twenty seconds flaccid! Hic! ” She squinted at Rarity. “That's the meme, r-right...?”
“Only a decade behind, darling.” Rarity huffed, looking at the woman wrestling with her. “Fluttershy, when you're quite done—”
“Absolutely, Rarity.” Fluttershy finally succeeded in situating Rainbow in the backseat and closing the door. “Uhm... Starlight, if you wouldn't mind—”
Their guest was already opening her side of the rear seat. “Strapping her in with that flat rope thingy?”
“It's called a 'seat-belt,' and yes.” Rarity sighed, smiling guiltily at Fluttershy. “I'm afraid I've had too much wine.” She teetered slightly. “Otherwise I would gladly—”
“That's quite fine, Rarity.” Fluttershy threw back a gentle smile, walking around to the front left side of the car. “I agreed to be the designated driver long before Starlight even joined us.”
“You'rrrrrre always designateddddd, Ffffffootershyyyyy...” Rainbow could be heard slurring as Starlight slunk into the seat beside her. The Equestrian visitor reached in with fumbling human hands, strapping the safety belt around Rainbow as the sloshed athlete continued to ramble, gesticulating wildly. “Designated by nature with big... gargantuan... massssssssssssive...” Rainbow was massaging two empty spheres in the space of the car before her, but she quit halfway to smirk aside at the person buckling her in place. “Did anybody ever tell you that if she did a handstand, she'd poke her own eyes out?”
“Wowsers...” Starlight couldn't help but smirk. “What I wouldn't give for one of those human doom slabs that can capture things.”
“A phone? You're better off, dear pony friend.” Rarity paused before entering the car to wave fabulously at the rest of the splitting group. “So long, Applejack! Pinkie Pie! Sunset, Twilight, and the rest!”
“I'm the rest!” Timber Spruce could be heard shouting back across the parking lot.
“I'm so long!” Flash Sentry, as well.
“Dang you!” Sunset's voice echoed, swallowed by a heavy swatting sound.
“Hahah! Careful! You'll throw the bike off balance!”
“Good night, Rarity! Fluttershy! Rainbow Dash!”
“So long, y'all!”
“Heehee! See ya tomorrow, Starlight! We're gonna have loads of fun!”
“Y-yeah! I can't wait!” Once Starlight shut the door, she turned towards the driver's seats as she buckled herself up. “So... uhm... how are Applejack and Pinkie Pie getting home?”
“Mr. Spruce is driving them~” Rarity explained, taking a moment to nonchalantly examine herself in a mirror. “He and Flash didn't have a single nip.”
“Huh...” Starlight blinked. “I haven't noticed.”
“Isn't that just so sweet of them...?” Fluttershy got into the driver's seat and spent a good century adjusting the mirrors and a/c dials, smiling calmly the entire time. “I swear. Sunset and Twilight have found such good... kind men in their lives~”
“Yyyyyyyyou know what Flash's type is??” Rainbow Dash stuck her tongue out. “Princessesssss! Prissy prissy pony princessesssss!” She awkwardly fumbled before finally rolling a sliver of the window down and hollering in the direction of a dual-passenger bike. “Youuuuuuuuuuu dig a ponnnnnnnnnnny!”
“Now Rainbow...” Fluttershy closed the window up remotely. “No need to tell the entire city....”
“Well, I'll have none of that smorgasboredom, thank you very muchly!” Rainbow Dash slurred, teetering in her seat until she was resting—slumped—against Starlight's right side. “Gimme a buffet! A buffet of babes! ”
“Yes, Rainbow, so we know—” Rarity droned without looking as Fluttershy drove the vehicle slowly out of the restaurant parking lot.
“I mean... babilicious babes! Women! Of the female variety! And vag ! That last part is kind of important!” Rainbow lifted a finger, then two, then tried to place her tongue between them but ended up licking the upholstery of Rarity's backseat instead. “Mrmfff...” She shook the cobwebs of the light impact loose. “...yeah. I don't care if the carpet's thick neither! You can plug me right in and vrmmmmmmmm me straight through that shiet! Hah!”
Rarity sighed, then looked back at Starlight with an apologetic gaze. “I am terribly sorry. Can you manage...?”
“Absolutely!” Starlight smiled perkily as Rainbow's shoulder kept bumping into her. “I find this quite educational! If not borderline insensitive!”
“You just described this country's school system in a nutshell.”
“Education! LULZ! ” Rainbow waggled a finger towards the headlights sweeping across the vehicle's interior. “Remember Assssss istant-Principal Luna...! Goddess damn did those blue legs of hers go all the way up!” Her cheeks turned rosy as she smiled with horny nostalgia. “And she always held her hands on her hips—y'know—like she was always squaring off at high noon with them weapons!”
“Heaven's silk~” Rarity cursed.
Fluttershy giggled as she turned carefully onto a straightaway.
“I wonder—hic —what that gorgeous... gorgeous woman is doing these days?”
“Not you, that's for certain~” Rarity said.
“Rarity...” Fluttershy calmly chided.
“All the best ones...” Rainbow blinked wearily, her drunken smile turning upside down. “All the best ones are the ones I just... I just can't , y'know? Take Sunset, for example...”
Starlight glanced aside. “Uh huh...?”
“Smokin' hot, right? Like... really smokin' hot ... especially in that spikey leather punk getup she always squeezes into. But. Nope.” Rainbow dramatically shook her head. “Can't. Just can't . She's a friend. That's like... next door neighbor's sister times one hundred. Total Ew City ... can't betray that...”
“Uh huh...”
“But is there any reward for my loyalty? Noooooo ma'am. Not in this awesome asskicker's life! Hic! You know Spitfire? Sun Goddess Incarnate, walking among us mortals?”
“Maybe...?”
“Well, she's my boss. Head Coach of the soccer team. Hot as hotness could ever get. And I still can't. I just can't .” Rainbow sniffed, snorted, sighed. “Loyalty saves. But it also kills. Y'know?”
“Funny—in Equestria, Spitfire's the leader of a flight team.”
“Cool. Does she still look good in spandex?”
“Uhhhhhhhhhh—”
“Star-Star-Star-Star...” Rainbow rested a hand on the guest's shoulder and leaned forward, the alcohol in her breath pungent as ever. “Lemme level with you. Sister to sister. I mean—you are a woman on at least one side of the mirror, right?”
Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Last time I checked.”
“Mmmmmm-take this to heart.” Rainbow gulped, gestured in the air, and took more than a few seconds to catch what she was aiming for. “When your tyyyyyype is someone bigger than you...” A sad sigh, sideways and sullen. “...all you ever do is feel smaller .”
“Don't say that, Rainbow...” Fluttershy's voice warmly wafted back as the driver took them gently into a subdivision. “The sea isn't quite that enormous. One of these days, Miss Perfect is going to find you. And then you won't have to feel like you're searching anymore.”
“Well put, Fluttershy,” Rarity said with a contented smile.
Rainbow Dash blinked wearily at the driver's seat. Then—without removing her eyes—she leaned casually into Starlight. Her next breath was just audible enough for the two rear passengers to hear: “You wanna know a secret...?”
“Do I have a choice?” Starlight asked.
“She and I...?” Rainbow's mouth hung open, as if undecided over laughing or sobbing. What came next was neutral at best: “...we were once an item.”
Starlight blinked. Hard. She looked at the front of the vehicle, then back towards Rainbow. She leaned in. “You and Fluttershy...?”
“Mmmmmhmmmmm,” Rainbow produced quietly, squeakily, through her nostrils.
Starlight toyed with a lock of her own hair, contemplatively. “I mean...” Clearing her throat, she brought her voice down low again: “I mean I guess I could see it...”
“She likes 'em small,” Rainbow confided, breathily, squinting at the distant driver's seat like it was a sniper's nest and she had to remain as low as her tone. “Small and dainty. Delicate. Needy.”
Starlight gulped. The bumps in the road were considerably more pronounced now, or so she told herself. “I see...”
“But it was not meant to be. So... like Sunset and Twi—Flutters and I just remained friends.”
Starlight looked at her slowly sobering companion. “What about it all failed? ”
Rainbow winced visibly.
Starlight corrected herself: “What about it didn't work? ”
“Mmmmmm...” Rainbow brandished a bittersweet smile. “...in the end... I just wasn't her type. And—honestly—she wasn't mine.” A fragrant exhale, and her eyelids fell, heavy and defeated. “And that's cool and all. We're still there for each other. But... it sucks, y'know? Cuz every other mountain I've spotted since just seems...” A long yawn, a sigh, and she cozied sleepily against Starlight. “... … … lame.”
“... … …” Starlight gazed at Rainbow, then past her, at the cosmic tide of lights swishing past the window, like so many lost opportunities spotted on the knifepoint fringes of a dirty mirror, neither this side or that. Then suddenly—those specks of light froze, and she was startled by Fluttershy's voice singing from the front:
“~We're home~”
“!!!” Starlight shot up in her seat, fumbling against the meager weight of the inebriated athlete against her. “Uhm... I-I think she's truly conk'd out...”
“It's for the best, honestly.” Rarity stepped out of the car first. “Do be a dear and unbuckle her so that I can—”
“No need, Rarity.” Fluttershy—already exited—swept in place of her. “I've got her~”
“Well, if you insist.”
“Insist—?” Starlight blinked in awe as Fluttershy opened the door and effortlessly swept Rainbow's body up in her arms. Her jaw dropped as she watched the tall woman bridal-carrying her friend towards the front entrance of their suburban townhouse. “Oh. Oh wow.”
“I know, right?” Rarity chuckled, politely helping Starlight out of the vehicle and locking it shut behind them. “I've seen her carrying Great Danes to and from the Animal Shelter with twice as much grace.”
“I'll pretend to know what that last sentence means,” Starlight said, her eyes glued on the wholesome procession.
“If you can walk on your own for a moment,” Rarity said, patting Starlight's shoulder before rushing ahead towards the front door, fumbling through her purse for the house keys. “I'll get the door for you both.”
“Thanks, Rarity.”
“Mmmrmmmffff...” Rainbow curled tighter into Fluttershy's towering embrace. “...Fl... Flutters...?”
“Yes, sweetie. I'm here~”
“Grmmfff...” Tiny tiny tears beaded in Rainbow's shut eyes as she clung to her friend's torso. “I'mmmmm sorry that I said that you have big tits earlier...”
“Hmmmm...” Fluttershy chuckled breathily. “It's quite alright, Rainbow. So long as one of us is sorry for them~”
“Viola!” Rarity opened the door triumphantly, gesturing with fabulous flair. “Our palace awaits!” She winked from Fluttershy to Rainbow to Starlight. “You too, Miss Glimmer. Our esteemed guest most assuredly deserves a comfortable nightcap.”
“Thanks a lot...” Starlight stepped after the rest, making herself at home in the front foyer. “Really. This is super kind of you.”
“Well, the three of us ladies have managed well enough rooming together, so it's only fitting we invite one more—if even just for a week of vacationing away from Equestria.” Rarity closed the door and locked it behind them. “It's no penthouse in Manehattan—but I haven't quite earned that yet, have I?”
“All in due time.” Starlight stood in place, smiling at Rarity.
Rarity, meanwhile, cleared her throat and pointed at the phalanx of loose shoes resting on the tile floor.
“Huh? Oh! ” Starlight snapped out of her tipsiness and slowly kicked her shoes off. “Sorry. It just... takes forever getting used to having to put them on and off so much...!”
“Among other things...” Rarity droned. Then—with noticeably oafish “grace”—she stuck both hands underneath the back of her blouse. After three seconds, she magically removed her bra through the sleeve of one shirt, tossed her hair loose, and sauntered sloppily for the kitchen with an open-mouthed yawn. “Muaaaaaah ... oh what I wouldn't kill for some ice cream right about now!”
“Oh Rarity—don't have too much!” Fluttershy could be heard calling from the other side of the living room. She could be seen fumbling to open the door with a snoozing Rainbow Dash curled up in her arms. “We both know that alcohol and sweets don't mix well for you!”
“I'll be chaste, darling~”
“We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow! It'd be a shame to be up late having indigestion nightmares!”
“I would be if it was Applejack spending the night with us and not Starlight! Stars and garters! Did you see the flannel she was wearing at tonight's dinner?”
“Oh Rarity—don't you start—”
“Smelled like she came right off the farm!” Rarity paused in the middle of the kitchen, sniffing herself audibly. “Good heavens ... speaking of...” She called back across the house. “I'm taking a shower, darlings! Warning in advance if you intend to use some of the hot water! ”
“Understood!” Fluttershy called back from Rainbow's room. “There you go, sweetie. Got your Daring Do plushie! Heehee! Isn't it just great to be back home...?”
Starlight Glimmer—in the meantime—made a beeline for the living room's couch. There, two separate bags full of things were gathered: most of them artifacts from Equestria that somehow survived the transfer through the mirror in one piece. It always amazed her how some things—like people, dragons, canines, ponies—could experience dramatic metamorphoses when making the trip between dimensions. Meanwhile, ordinary household items and tools of both hoof-and-hand would remain completely unaffected.
And then clothes—some of them would just appear out of nowhere. Starlight couldn't pretend to guess what unspoken rules of the universe were at work that decided this... metaphysical fashion for ponies who became ponies at a mirror's jump. There was so much about this side of the portal that remained unknown.
But this trip wasn't about figuring all this out. This was something arranged by both Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight. The School of Friendship's chief Headmistress was experiencing a lot of undue stress, and it was high time that she took a vacation to relax, chill, and commiserate with friends—or at least the bipedal friends of friends. Truth be told, many of these people—Sunset included—were trusted acquaintances at best. But perhaps that was a good thing. Starlight felt a different kind of relaxation around these young adults. She didn't feel constantly on guard to measure her spoken words as she did with her equine familiars back home. And without a minefield of eggshells to trot upon, it was open season for asking much more contemplative and provocative questions.
Like the ones she posed tonight—with more than a touch of inebriation. Had she gone a bit too far? She had witnessed Rainbow Dash well beyond her limit, and yet the young woman's friends were completely and totally accepting of it all. Perhaps—even in hoofing the line... or toeing it in this case—there wasn't as much risk to be had as Starlight feared. Spending years acting as a guidance counselor for prospective paragons of friendship back in Equestria had made Starlight a little too careful, and she was wondering if—perhaps—she had forgotten what it meant to be a bit more loose... more wild... more daring.
And open .
But—then again—she had left Trixie in charge of the school back home. What was more daring than that?
Starlight Glimmer chuckled to herself. She leaned over to prepare a makeshift bed on the couch when—
—that heavenly coo alighted her ears once again.
“Uhm... Starlight Glimmer...?”
“!!!” Teetering a bit, Starlight spun around and looked up... and up and up...
...into Fluttershy's eyes. It was only when the two were so physically close that Starlight realized just how tall the woman had grown in these past few years since that one adventure battling the metamorphosed form of Juniper Montage. Once again, those bumps resounded, but they had long exited the vehicle. Fluttershy's eyes were turquoise moons crashing through the atmosphere, and yet a tender softness cushioned the air between them as she said in a wispy and wispier tone:
“Did you still wish to know...?” Fluttershy said. Fluttershy bit her lip. Fluttershy's arms dangled at her side, hands clenching and unclenching.
Starlight absorbed each and every detail. She saw Rainbow's bedroom door in the background resting slightly cracked to allow in a sliver of light. She heard Rarity's shower starting in the distance. Right then, it was just her, Fluttershy, and the increasing pulse between them.
She challenged fates, stupidly: “Wish to know what? ”
“Mmmmm...” Fluttershy glanced in the direction of Rarity's shower—or more appropriately the empty space between. She looked back at Starlight, speaking just above a meager whisper: “What my 'type' is...?”
Starlight gulped, nodded. “Absolutely.”
Fluttershy let loose a strong exhale. Relief? Weight? Entropy? She held a hand up—secretly between them—and motioned for Starlight to follow her.
And follow her, Starlight did, across the house and around a hallway corner... until they were both tucked safely away inside Fluttershy's room...
...with the door shut tightly behind.
Click .
Fluttershy locked the door. She leaned against it and sighed, as if bracing shut the entrance to a forbidden tomb.
Starlight gazed at her. She blinked quizzically, noticing at the very last second how... dry her mouth was. Just then, Fluttershy moved towards her...
...and past her. The whiff of flowery perfume followed, and soon Fluttershy flipped on the first of many lights.
Starlight hadn't even realized how dark it was in there until that darkness receded, giving way to soft pastels and fluttershy motifs and plush furniture, one rosy lamp at a time. It was insultingly girly inside Fluttershy's room. One might even call it infantile—as if Fluttershy never had a teenage phase to evolve into a college aesthetic. She just made one big grand leap from elementary school to young adult, and—somehow—that made sense from what little Starlight Glimmer knew of the human version of her. The furniture had a porcelain and ivory gloss to it, antiquated and beyond comfy. The bed contained far more stuffed animals than Starlight could count, and if she took more than two breaths within the span of ten seconds, she could swear she caught the unmistakable scent of lavender, vanilla, baby powder, and—
“Do you draw?” Fluttershy asked.
Starlight snapped out of her fragrant coma and locked eyes with the towering femme standing across the room from her. “Do I what?”
“Draw. As in...” Fluttershy charaded pencil-sketching. “...illustrating? Making pictures?”
“I... … … like flying kites and meticulously establishing miniature dogmatic autocracies.” Starlight Glimmer gulped. “But m-mostly flying kites.”
Fluttershy looked like she wanted to smile at that, but some unseen pressure was drowning her, manifesting in a set of hands that wrung each set of fingers, harder and sweatier. With a dry cough, she gestured towards a set of closet doors beset all over with colorful animal stickers. “Me? I like to draw... uhm... a lot.” She brushed a long strand of pink hair away, only for it to fall back in place. “Sunset likes to stream video games. Applejack likes to perform at rodeos. Me? In my spare time I am always... always ... drawing.”
“Okay.”
“Would... uhm... would you like to see some of the... the st-stuff that I draw?” Fluttershy fidgeted. She brushed an even longer stand of pink hair away... only for it to fall back in place again.
Starlight gazed at her, wondering every single passing second just what this all had to do with the reason she was summoned there into Fluttershy's holiest of holy domains.
“Okay...”
Fluttershy took a deep breath... then an even deeper breath. She approached the closet like a priest might approach a sacred sepulcher. Opening the doors wide, she revealed a hidden pink dresser. From one of its many drawers, she pulled out a closed box. From the closed box, she lifted a stack of large manila envelopes. And—positioning herself side-saddle on the bed—she produced one of many sheets of paper from the envelope.
“This is some of the latest pieces that I've been drawing,” Fluttershy said, meekly, quiet as a mouse. She nevertheless grasped the sheets of illustrated paper in her delicate fingers with grace and respect, like one might render priceless antiques. “Some of my early portfolios are... not so good. I'm not saying that just to be humble. I've... simply gotten a lot better over time.”
“I can believe that.” Starlight moved to sit on the bed beside her—but found herself struggling a bit. The mattress was elevated, evidently crafted for someone of Fluttershy's greater stature. When she finally sat up beside her friend, Starlight found that her dangling feet didn't touch the ground. But that's not where her attention rested at the moment. Instead—with sincere interest—she found herself gazing at the black-and-white charcoal pieces being displayed before her.
In truth, Starlight had expected to see pages full of animals—or at least those meeting the definition of “animals” in accordance to the standards of the sapient denizens on that side of the mirror.
But—
Instead, she found herself gazing at sketch after sketch of human figures. Each were dressed quite fabulously—and classily—in intricate fabrics, flowing frocks, lacy gowns, and delicate pinafores. The dresswork displayed a keen understanding of cloth that would make Rarity—both Rarities—intensely jealous, and yet Starlight could easily tell that these weren't illustrations meant to capture the designs of the dresses themselves, but rather to accentuate the beauty of the subjects sporting them. And while Starlight was still quite alien to the aesthetics of Homo sapiens , even she could tell that each person drawn by Fluttershy's evidently well-crafted fingers were the very paragon of resplendence.
“It took a long while to find my own style,” Fluttershy could be heard saying, although it came through like a bell in the fog, for Starlight was already so easily absorbed in the visual array set before the both of them. “It all started with... uhm... me emulating the animes I used to watch. Mostly Sailor Moon and Ranma 1/2 ... and then a bit of Evangelion beyond that... but... who doesn't move on from Eva ?” She took a long, shuddering breath, moving to the next few pages as she moved on from that pedantic ramblage. “Anyways ... as you can see, I found my stride, and for the past few years—starting in my senior year of high school and beyond—I started drawing every day. Just because I could. It's kind of like what Stephen King does. Only with graphite pencils instead of typewriters. And I'm drawing, not writing. So... eh... I-I guess it's... uhm... n-not like Stephen King at all.”
“I think I get it~” Starlight mused, smiling as she admired picture after gorgeous picture. “Practice makes perfect~”
“Mmmmm-these are far from perfect—”
“Fluttershy, these are amazing ,” the guest said with an emphatic grin. “I may be a horse girl, but you've obviously captured the human form amazingly well!” She gestured. “And these outfits ! Did you invent them?”
“Oh... some, I guess...” Fluttershy shrugged casually, thumbing her way towards another collection of pics to show her friend. Before them, exquisitely princessy figures sat at tea in monochromatic shading. “A lot of them are taken from references... or magazines... or fashion styles that I find off of Google searches.” She flipped to an image of two figures in bell-shaped dresses holding hands and walking through a park, side by side, while carrying baskets full of flowers. “Or... as you can guess... the occasional Victorian wood engraving.”
“I don't know what that means but it's still very very pretty.” Starlight Glimmer remarked. “You're super good at black and white shading.”
“Oh... uhm...” A tinge of rosiness kissed Fluttershy's cheeks. “I-I do color pics too...”
“Really? Show me~”
Fluttershy closed one manila folder, set it aside on the bed, then opened another. Starlight's eyes reflected a pastel explosion of spectral goodness.
“Wowwwwwwwie...” Starlight grinned from ear to ear. “Fruity!”
Fluttershy giggled lightly, losing some edge to her nervousness. “I know, right?” She thumbed to a group pic. “I'm particularly fond of this one I did last spring...”
Starlight found herself gazing at a quartet of petite figures loitering beside a mall fountain, sipping from soft drinks, doing makeup, laughing. They wore pleated skirts and short-shorts and bright pastel blouses with floral designs. “It's like a candy buffet for the eyes!”
“Hmmm...” Fluttershy squirmed a bit where she sat. “That's a nice way of putting it.”
“I don't know any other way of putting it~” Starlight smiled. “They all look wonderful.”
“Oh...” Fluttershy gnawed on her bottom lip. “You're just saying that to be nice.”
“Nuh uh.” Starlight shook her head. “I mean it. This is all some really fantastic artwork.” She waved a hand. “Have you ever thought of sharing it on... on...” Her eyes narrowed. “... … ...that crazy invisible sky orgy where humans share cats and conspiracy theories...”
“The Internet?” Fluttershy shook her head. “Oh n-no! I wouldn't! I couldn't!!”
“Why not?” Starlight cocked her head aside. “Aren't you having a good time sharing these with me? ”
“You... … ...” Fluttershy fidgeted. “This is different.”
Starlight stared thoughtfully at the tall woman. She gave the pictures a look, then glanced at the locked door across the room. “What...?” She looked up at her friend again. “...does this have to do with what I asked the group earlier?”
“Well...” Fluttershy pushed a pink lock of hair up over her air. It stayed in place this time. “A very long time ago, Rarity gave me advice on drawing for a hobby.”
“Yeah? And?”
“She told me very simply: 'Just create what you like.' ”
“Rarity said that?”
A beat.
“Okay...” Fluttershy stifled a snicker. “She added a 'dahhhhliiiing' at the end.”
“Snrkk...” Starlight covered her mouth with a hand. “Of course she did.”
“And so...” Fluttershy took a deep breath, gazing at half-a-dozen drawings between them all at once. “...I took her advice to heart.”
“I can see that.” Starlight took a warm breath and smiled solidly at Fluttershy. “Well, I'm glad that you showed this to me, Fluttershy. I think it's perfectly fine to learn that your type is ornately-dressed and graceful women.”
“They... uhm...” Fluttershy's fingers tightened on the edges of her drawings. “...they're not women .”
Silence.
Starlight's blink was almost a thunderclap.
“They're not? ” the Equestrian mewled.
Fluttershy slowly—slowly shook her head.
“But...?” Starlight cut off the words before she could stupidly spout any more. She tilted her head down to gaze at the pictures again.
Once more, she gazed at the lithe, youthful figures. She looked at their immaculate skin and cosmetically painted faces. She looked at their holding-hands and lipsticked smiles and glittery fingernails. There were skirts and poofy shoulders and petticoats a'plenty. But...
Starlight Glimmer squinted harder. As a pony girl from a pretty prancing pony land, she was still admittedly getting used to the visual cues that demarcated the physical categories of one set of humans from another. Being a magical scientist at heart, Starlight momentarily focused on the anatomical nature of things. It was then that she observed a distinct lack of mammary glands on the upper half of the bipedal figures. What's more, most of the subjects' manes... no hair was noticeably short. Then to cap it all off—in pictures where the individuals were wearing shorts, bloomers, and briefs—there was a great deal more substance situated in that ever-so-sacred nexus between the legs...
“They're males? ” Starlight squeaked to the heavens.
“They're boys—er... men .” Fluttershy jerked, holding a stack of envelopes up to her face, obscuring her blushing expression. “... … ...young men. Legal age—of course—but... b-but some of them might be willing to pr-pretend that they're even younger .” A gulp, and she hid her reddening face even more. “W-with a female partner who's... uhm... t-taller than them. Consensually, of course.”
Starlight stared at her friend. Gently, she reached her hand up and pulled the folders down so that Fluttershy's flushed expression had nothing to hide behind any longer. Once they were seeing eye-to-eye again, she calmly asked: “Is that taller female partner you ?”
“Mmmm...” Fluttershy gulped, and the next breath came out in an adorable little squeak. “~Yes~ ”
Starlight observed how the towering, buxom specimen of gorgeous femininity next to her was trembling with fear, and she did everything she could not to snicker in amusement. “Why is it that this suddenly makes the most logical sense ever ?”
Fluttershy blinked, her eyes widening slightly. “It d-does?”
“You like caring for little animals, right? Why should little partners be any different?”
“That's... it's...” Fluttershy grimaced visibly. “They're not even remotely the same .”
It was Starlight's turn to wince. “S-sorry! I... I didn't mean to cross the streams, there.”
“That's okay.” Fluttershy exhaled, calming noticeably. “You can't be blamed. Some of my friends used to draw the same conclusions...”
Starlight glanced at the door once again. In her mind's eye, she remembered Rainbow Dash and Rarity sharing a knowing glance the moment she had thrown her loaded question across the restaurant table to Fluttershy. “Do any of them know...?” Her words trailed off.
It was enough for Fluttershy to catch and pitch back. “Yes.” She nodded. “They've known for a long time. But—beyond my closest friends...” She then squeaked. “It's a complete secret.”
Starlight squeezed Fluttershy's wrist gently. “Well, it's safe with me too. I promise.” She cocked her head aside. “Although, I don't really get why it has to be.”
“Mmmmm... several reasons.” Fluttershy took a deep breath. “I... I don't know if Sunset or Twilight have ever told you, but... in high school—as well as in college—I had the hardest time... uhm... how should I put this... ?”
“Were the guys all over you?” Starlight droned.
“Eeeep!” Fluttershy winced visibly. “Well, th-they certainly wanted to b-be!”
“Sounds gross. But also weirdly flattering.”
“Huh?”
“Just saying, Fluttershy...” Starlight chuckled, gesturing. “You're hot as Hell. I'm a horse woman and even I can say that.”
“Mmmmmmmmmmm...” Fluttershy exhaled long and hard in a breath that could only be described as “defeated.” She looked pathetically towards the floor. “Yeahhhhhh...”
Starlight let loose a giggle. She cleared her throat, then waved a hand. “S-sorry.”
“It's okay. I've... uhm... dealt with it all my life.”
“And in all that time... did you never actually try dating anyone amongst the unquestionable tsunami of potential suitors?” Starlight smirked. “I'm sure I can't possibly be exaggerating here.”
“No. I just... no .” Fluttershy hugged a stack of photos to her plentiful chest. There was a noticeable frown of consternation to her face. “I never found anyone appealing enough. Not the type of men that Rarity is into... or even the women Sunset's been with. And—to be honest—they... uhm... th-they just intimidate me and turn me off.” She gulped, gazing anxiously aside at her Equestrian friend. “Especially the very alpha-male types. Which... f-for some reason... … … is all I ever seem to contend with.”
Starlight nodded. “Sounds really really sucky .”
“It's... gotten less intense over the past few years or so.” Fluttershy murmured, brushing back a few strands of hair as she gazed a thousand miles through the floor. “On this side of the mirror—or around here, at least—men typically don't pursue women over six feet tall. And... to be honest... I'm quite fine with that...”
“Instead...” Starlight's eyes fell to the pictures on display before them. “...you're looking for men under six feet?”
“Mmmm... more like under five feet,” Fluttershy smiled. “And gentle... with soft skin...” She smiled even more. “With even softer hair... smelling of flowers... and girlish giggling voices and—” Her smile locked in place. Sweating slightly, she aimed her nervous eyes down to her friend. “It m-must seem awfully... awfully strange.”
Starlight shrugged. “In Equestria, the nature of 'gender' isn't exclusively locked to one's biological sex.”
“Oh—it's the same here too. Or... at least... it's supposed to be...” Fluttershy bit her lip slightly. “It's... It's...”
“Complicated?”
“Delicate. And unfortunately the source of unnecessary drama.” Fluttershy gulped. “So... t-to find a certain coded way of living to be 'attractive'—even fetishizing it—can be interpreted as diminishing the identify of some people...”
“Are you willfully trying to hurt people, Fluttershy?”
“What—? No! But...” Fluttershy kneaded the edge of the bed. “...I-I suppose it's very difficult to encourage most schools of erotica w-without offending anyone. Even still, that doesn't mean I'm very proud of it at times. The last thing I ever w-want to be is unkind.” Another gulp. “But... but...” She gazed at her own pictures and a melodic sigh escaped her lips... lips that were helplessly smiling. “Submissive girly bois are just soooooooooo cuuuuuuuute... ” Her kneading fingers relaxed. “And I j-just can't stop dreaming... fantasizing about femboys... every d-day... no matter what I do or how I fear others might think of me for it...”
Starlight nodded thoughtfully. She bravely reached in, took another envelope, and opened it to reveal more and more effeminate figures posing together, some even cuddling close and kissing. “Maybe...” She flipped through the pics, taking opportunities to glance at Fluttershy. “...it would help if you explained it to me? Like—what this 'type' means to you ?”
Fluttershy thought long and hard. Eventually, in a relatively neutral tone of voice, she poured her words out to the pastel walls of that room.
“One of my first... happiest... and most cherishable memories from childhood was receiving a doll from my Auntie. It was a gift for my... fourth birthday? Third? Whatever the case, the doll was just... so very precious to me. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but the doll wasn't a girl doll. It was a boy—dressed in overalls and a straw hat. But that made no difference to me. I loved Candy Care to death—that's the name I gave him. Candy Care and I cuddled together at night. We had tea parties. We went to the park together. We were inseparable... until we weren't ...
“My folks—they mean well. They always have. That being said, they're... a very feeble pair. Even more so than me, if that can be believed. Only now as an adult can I say that in hindsight. Their weak social skills and unassertiveness is one reason why I think they've tolerated my younger brother's selfish antics for long. But... uhm... I-I won't go into that here. Anyways—they didn't think so kindly of Candy Care. More specifically—they didn't think that I should have been given a boy doll by my Auntie. My guess is that Mom and Dad didn't want me being so accustomed and open to the idea of hanging out with boys at such a young age. They meant well—even if it was all motivated out of fear.
“Long story short: one morning I woke up and Candy Care was gone. In his place was a pretty pink princess doll—with a tiara and a fairy wand and everything. 'See? Now you have a little friend to play girl games with!' they had said. But that didn't register with me. How could it? I was devastated! They had taken my dearest Candy Core away from me! My adorable little boy who clung to his Momma for so long—and he was replaced with this pastel petticoated stranger. I felt like crying for days... weeks...
“Until... I realized differently . I'm not sure how it started. Maybe it came to me in a dream. But it was the first moment of self-determination I remember having: Candy Core hadn't been replaced . He had simply played dressup . The doll may have looked like a little princess girl—but it was still him. He was still my precious little boy. Just because he wore a dress and a tiara didn't make him any different—it just made him cuter . I was so proud of him... for finding a way to sneak past my parents and be adorable too.
“Soon... I was proud of us ... and myself . I would get more dolls over time. And you know what? They were boys too. Candy Core simply made new friends, and we all joined hands together, having tea and watching birds and playing games and just... just being so comfy and cute and happy. I was everyone's Mommy and they all looked up to me and I kept them all safe and warm. And soon my secret was their secret and it made us all so very special and close... to know that everything was right—the way it should have been—full of trust and acceptance and care .
“As I grew older, and the world got scarier and rougher, me and my princess bois remained a... safe place for me. It remained that way in my mind—a sacred sanctuary—even when I felt that I had outgrown dolls. It extended to the world around me—and how I felt about members of the opposite sex. And as Zephyr Breeze grew up to be so toxic and disorderly, it only made me admire softer, kinder, and meeker men all the more.
“In recent years, as I discovered certain... cultures ... such as crossdressing forums and femboy models on the Internet—I found that there were still dolls to be had. Or so I imagined... and fantasized. Just—the idea of men who go the extra distance and struggle to code themselves like the opposite sex—while still acknowledging their assigned gender identity... … … it doesn't have to be sexualized, necessarily. I... j-just admire the... art of it? For some people, willfully crossing a boundary while still identifying it produces such a thrill ... or so I imagine. I've only ever observed from afar. And to get closer to that—to enmesh myself—I've... well ... I've indulged creatively in the medium you see before you...”
Starlight observed Fluttershy gesturing at the pictures. She had a deadpan expression on her face, bordering on melancholic.
“It's just my way of capturing and containing it,” the tall woman said.
“Containing what?” Starlight asked.
“What else can it be called?” Fluttershy's features hung. “It's an obsession .”
Starlight shrugged. “Maybe because it just hasn't become a reality yet.”
Fluttershy frowned a bit, ultimately shaking her head. “It's best that it never does.”
Starlight blanched at that. “But why, though?”
“I can't imagine why anyone would want to—”
“Be paired up with such a caring, thoughtful woman?”
“Mmmmm...” Fluttershy brushed her bangs back. “...more like a helpless pervert.”
“Pffft. Please , Flutters...” Starlight smirked wryly. “We all have a little deviant in all of us. But you're not wanting to prey on and hurt anyone, are you?”
Fluttershy shook her head.
“Just what is it you do want?” Starlight asked.
“I want...” Fluttershy wrung her hands, shifted, sweated, then: “I want...” Her tense features softened slightly. “...I want a living doll whom I can cuddle and play with...” And softer and softer, one sigh after another. “...whom I can trust to be gentle and kind... and to react happily to gentle-kindness...” The rosiness finally returned to her cheeks. “Small enough that I can carry... but deep and mature enough that I can share all my concerns and fears.” She clutched two hands to her sternum and closed her eyes with a dream smile of contentment. “A pretty princess boi who—with just a word or a kiss—would happily come to Momma.” A sideways squeak, and she blushed visibly while twirling a bashful lock of hair. “In more ways than one.”
“Heehee... I think I get it.” Starlight cocked her head aside with an admiring smile. “And—to be honest, Fluttershy—I think your 'type' makes a whole ton of sense.”
“Hmmm?” Fluttershy blinked innocently. “How so?”
“It totally figures that you'd be a top.”
The woman's turquoise eyes shrank to that. “A t-t-top?”
“Granted—with just the right kind of bottom .” Starlight gestured. “I don't think you're exactly feeble , Fluttershy. You're just... cautious . It's a scary world out there for all of us—or worlds ... h-heh. Finding the right kind of situation—or company—to be in order to feel in control is expected of us. Even you.” Starlight lifted a few pages of drawings and flipped through the adorable figures illustrated thereupon. “Meeting someone like this—someone eager, willing, and suited to be like one of your dollish 'friends' of yours—would let you maintain that control. That pride. That comfort.”
“It c-can't be all about me ,” Fluttershy said. A sad breath. “That's why I'm still single.”
“No, that's why you're still waiting .” Starlight gave her a firm look. “But waiting doesn't have to be forever . It's just the interim period before true perfection becomes reality—or something close to it.” She pointed at the drawings. “Out there is a beautiful young man who is absolutely dying to find his 'Momma' someday... someone who is tall enough, strong enough, and creative enough to indulge in his deepest dreams. And I'm absolutely certain he will want to do the same for her.”
Fluttershy's feet curled against the carpet. Her next breath had a harmonic lilt to it. “You really th-think so, Starlight...?”
“For you, Fluttershy...?” Starlight placed the drawings down, closed the envelope, and placed it neatly in the taller woman's hands. “...the world would be wasting matter and energy if it didn't match you up with the perfect boi of your type someday. Or bois .”
Fluttershy visibly shivered.
“Heeheehee...” Starlight winked. “Did I strike a chord there?”
“I...” Fluttershy gulped, rubbing her upper head and resisting the urge to hyperventilate. “...I n-never really pictured it being so real... and p-possible before...”
“Haven't your friends ever tried to hook you up?” Starlight waved. “Surely Rarity would have an eye for—”
“I always refused their efforts,” Fluttershy stammered, gazing aside with a glint of shame. “And... my friends are very kind.” A sideways sigh. “They respect my boundaries.”
Starlight shrugged. “Maybe it's time to re-draw them.” A wink. “And you are good at drawing.”
“... … ...” Fluttershy brushed at her bangs. “I am, aren't I?”
“Heehee. I'd say!” Starlight smiled a friendly smile. “Do you feel better having talked about it?”
“I do...” Fluttershy looked at the Equestrian guest directly. “It's... b-been a long while since I told someone new about my... interests.”
“Does a fresh perspective help?”
“I think part of me wanted you to judge me harshly.”
“That's not what friendship is about, Fluttershy,” Starlight said. “But—if I perceived something that I felt was unhealthy, I definitely would have told you.”
“So you... d-don't see any of it as bad?”
“The only bad thing is resolving yourself to be imprisoned in fantasy when you desire something real .” Starlight stood up. “The other Fluttershy back in Equestria has learned to approach things in life with baby-steps. I'm certain you'd benefit no less. So... how about it? Are you ready to look beyond pen and paper?”
“I...” Fluttershy squirmed visibly. “I-I'm not certain.”
Starlight shrugged. “An honest answer.”
“Truth is... I-I tried being... uhm... 'motherly' and in control of an intimate relationship before—”
“With Rainbow Dash, right?”
Fluttershy's eyes darted to Starlight's face. There was a half-moment of contemplation. “She told you, didn't she?”
“Yeah...” Starlight rubbed the back of her head. “But she was a tad bit inebriated at the time.”
“Mmmm... well... it's true. And I adore Rainbow Dash. Truly, I do... but—”
“She's simply not your 'type,'” Starlight declared. “She has never been and will never be a 'Candy Care.'”
Fluttershy slowly shook her head.
“So—why stop there?” Starlight dramatically shrugged. “Why take a moment of fated incompatibility and declare your dreams unrealized? Rainbow Dash hasn't stooped to shortchanging herself! So why should you?”
Slowly, a warm smile spread its way across Fluttershy's features. She nodded, then nodded some more. “Yes. Yes... why should I accept things as impossible?” A shuddering breath, and she stood up too, gazing down at Starlight with a starry expression. “The world's not so small that kind currents can't roll my way~”
“Heck yeah!” Starlight pumped a fist. “That's the spirit—!” She then gasped, eyes wide.
Fluttershy was leaning over to hug her, a somewhat difficult feat given the difference in height—and bosom—between the two ladies. But Fluttershy managed—with remarkable control and grace—and all Starlight could do was weather the gentle gesture.
“I'm so very glad you've come to visit us again, Starlight~” Fluttershy cooed. At last, she drew back, resting a hand on Starlight's shoulder while clutching her folders to her self like a doll. “You're even more inspiring than Princess Twilight praises in her letters to Sunset.”
“Well... uh...” Starlight smiled sheepishly. “I'm glad that I'm surpassing even her accolades.” Clearing her throat, she gestured out the door. “Maybe I should go and have a rinse before Rarity hogs all the hot water.”
“Not a bad plan.” Fluttershy moved back to the pink dresser in her closet to put the drawings away.
“In case I don't see you again, have a great night's sleep...” Starlight waved as she unlocked the door and made her exit. “I look forward to our time spent together tomorrow—”
“Starlight?”
“Hmmm?” The guest turned to look at her.
Fluttershy stood across the room, gazing back with an innocent smile. “I just realized... nobody bothered to ask you.”
“Ask me what?”
“What's your type?” Fluttershy stated. “You do have a type, don't you?”
Starlight Glimmer gazed at Fluttershy. At her luscious pink locks that looked softer than silk. At her splendid towering figure. At her supple arms that were as gentle as cloudbanks. At her ample bust that—just seconds prior—had pooled her into a motherly embrace. A heavenly hug scented with calming lavender and vanilla that could invite a soul like Starlight's to drift off forever.
“I... guess I don't have a 'type,'” Starlight eventually said. She gripped the cold doorknob tighter as she stood up straight. “Or—at least—I just haven't met them yet.” She smiled. Tried to.
Fluttershy nodded. “Well, I hope you find the right one sooner than later.” She giggled softly and closed her eyes with a side-cocked, rosy-cheeked grin. “You deserve no less.”
“Mmm. Don't I know it.”
And Starlight left the colors and floral scents behind. She was halfway to her sofa—and her strange bags full of horse-world things—when she lingered to a limp stop. Rainbow Dash's snores wafted towards her from a distance. Situated there in the heart of that two-story townhouse, Starlight realized just how small she felt, like she was surrounded by mountains, growing tall and taller, but never quite so far away that she couldn't see them.
“Heh. Lame indeed.”
The young woman grabbed some pajamas and a towel. She made her way to the nearest bathroom where—for better or for worse—the shower water was cold as ice. Starlight remained there ten minutes longer than she needed to. And by the time the shivers had stopped completely, she understood.
