Bored Soul’s Poor Life Choice

by Duskrider4

You've Done Fucked Up, Son

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Life sometimes does not go the way you plan it.

One moment you are worried about a new job. Getting on a bus.

With a smile on your face hoping to finally start your life. To feel like you have accomplished SOMETHING!

Hiding the fact, you are reading a fanfiction and absentmindedly wondering if the guy next to you noticed.

Then some screams get your attention.

Eyes widen seeing a car heading RIGHT FOR YOUR SIDE OF THE BUS!

And then…you die.

I’ll not bore you with the rather…traumatic details of what happened.

All you need to know is that I appeared in front of some bloke, why am I using bloke? I live in Albuquerque for Pete’s sake!?...How much Doctor Who have I been watching….Wait does this mean I will never find out what this Flux stuff is about? What a load of-

SMACK!

“OW!” I hold my head. HOW DOES IT HURT!? I am a disembodied soul!?

“Now are you going to listen to what I have to say!” The person behind the desk demands of me.

I roll my eyes. “Look can we skip the theatrics here. Your either going to send me off to some afterlife which is either paradise or hell depending on what my values are as a person. So just flip the switch and let me move on!” I tell them done with this shit. I died! Why can’t this part be skipped for I know if I’m hanging with angels, reborn as a fish or getting Luci’s trident up the ass without lube.

I’m already pretty disappointed this is not like the web comic I read. The Adventures of God is great for a laugh or a dozen.

The person, I’d describe them but it’s kind of is hard to describe a person shaped space in reality as anything other than that person. What did the author not care enough to give them an actual body and description! How rude.

Wait to get bored again and when that happens, I tend to imagine crazy shit.

“Look I’m going to be blunt here and say it. You are not good enough for Heaven, but at the same time not bad enough for Hell. You did some nice things for people like your brother. But you didn’t leave an impact despite being in your 20s. And no Lucifer does not shove tridents up people’s asses before you can comment again.” The Person says rolling their eyes.

“OK. In that case can I request to be a Shark at least. I don’t know a lot about fish, but I know Shark counts.” This way I can keep eating delicious fish!

“You have no fucking filter, do you?” The Person asks me.

“Usually, I do. But I don’t see the point in holding back since I’m, say it with me, DEAD!” I point out.

“..Fuck it. Here is a deck of cards pick something.” The Person says laying out a pile of cards on the table. “When you pick something up you wi-wait wait! Stop! Wait for my explanation!?” The Person shouts as I pick up a pair of cards at random looking at it to see a what cat and blue lizard with a horn. “Oh poopy. I hope your ready cause you fucked up son.” The Person says to me as I scream feeling like I’m being flushed down a toilet and ripped apart.

Part of me going one way and the other another way!

It was only on the way down after being surrounded by darkness that I remember what those pictures were!

They w-wait why am I moving?

Who picked me up!?

HELP! HELP! I’VE BEEN KIDNAPPED!

If only I had a mouth to speak with!

Wait what’s that crazy light!? HOW CAN I SEE IT!?

HELP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Wait a crack! I’m going to bust out of here!

Unknown to me at the time my other half was going through a similar experience. Only there was fewer crazy lights happening.

Only with very very different results.


“Um Twilight are you sure this is a good idea.” Spike the Dragon, number 1 assistant to Twilight Sparkle says as she runs scans over the odd egg that ended up in their house the morning after Nightmare Moon.

Twilight was the Student of Princess Celestia and as of last night, or day (it gets a bit confusing considering the sun was down for most of it), is the Element of Magic.

“Spike. We don’t know what kind of creature is inside this Egg or how it got here.” Twilight says pointing at the cream-colored egg. Using magic to scan it. “We don’t know if it’s dangerous or not.”

“Still are you sure we can’t check the books again? This feels like a bad idea.” Spike says nervously swearing the egg just wobbled.

“Trust me Spike.” Twilight says with a smile, “I know what I’m doing.”

CRACK!

The duo shares a look as they look at the giant crack that appeared on the egg.

"Um Twi...I don't think that was supposed to happen." Spike says nervously.

"Aw buck it." Twilight mutters under her breath when the egg explodes in pink smoke.

The pony and dragon cough as the smoke floods the room.

When it is clear they see a strange creature who is glaring at them.

It was white and furry. Looking like a small bear's head.

"Ah that's adorable!" Twilight says as Spike steps back ignorant of the raging glare of the small creature who looked angry.

"Um Twilight. You might want to step back."

"Spike what could this tiny-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" She screams when the tiny being spits out freezing cold wind while shouting, "PUFF! PUFF! PUFF!!!!" Only growing more and more enraged as it learns it cannot speak anything but that phrase!

Yeah...let's go check on the other half.


I sing to myself in the dark void of nothingness.

"Puff! Puuuuffff! Puffy Puff! Puff!!~" The little forming being inside the egg had no idea why it could not say anything but 'Puff'. To be honest it did not really care going with the flow and being bored.

Then a crack in it's egg appears.

Not seeing a reason to not to. It tried to squeeze it's way through.

Appearing in a cloud of pink smoke blinking a few times was a blue head.

Said head when it discovered it's loss of limbs was very, very disturbed.

"PPPPPUUUUUFFFFFF! PUFF! PUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFF!!!!" It screams out.

"Oh dear. What is upsetting you little one?" A kind and gentle voice belonging to the Element of Kindness, Fluttershy herself said.

The blue head seeing a clearly fictional character in the flesh did the only reasonable thing it could.

It fainted.

"OH MY!"


Author's Note

Yep this story is about a single soul split into two.
Each taking traits from the original one based on myself.
As you can see the second one, Chicomon is the side with my knowledge of My Little Pony and patience with others. The other side Yukimi Botamon does not know where he is or what is going on and has the part of me is my more anti-social and flat out psychotic at times side under my patience with humanity. This will be fun.
At the moment the story focuses on both side as they explore the world and eventually meet again.
It will explore the effects of the split more over time.

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