Twilight Sparkle and the Stupid Original Pony

Thanks to Bear’s mayhem, the streets down at surface level were packed – I’d never seen so many humans in my life. Their costumes were a supra-spectral swath of flamboyant grisaille colour, hundreds and hundreds of shades of grey dazzling the eyes. And we would have to work our way through this madding crowd to the one place we might be able to get offworld. With two of our three magic users out of power, and me unable to cast my Gallop portal for three days, it was time to call in a favor I had almost forgotten.

The city boasts an occupancy level of less than a twentieth its capacity, but put them all outdoors at the same time and it seemed crowded. The mass of people was going to slow us down too much if we had to push our way through.

“We need to get through the crowd fast and I have a spell for that.”

I grabbed Gloam and Discord by the hands – Isha followed my example and took Gloam’s other hand, grabbed Twilight.

“Hold on, everypony, lets make like photons!”

Before they could question me, we crashed into the wall of humanity and in a nearly speedless billionth of a second we emerged on far side of the madding crowd. Still holding hands, but our clothes had been scrambled. A quick check of the backpack I now bore revealed the contents I had originally placed in my pack. Quantum magic is weird stuff, not for every day use.

“What was that?” Twilight asked, surprised to find that we were now on the other side.

I grinned.

“A spell for crossing crowds! Make sure to check your clothes, they can get messed up doing this.”

My pants were on backwards now, but at least they were mine.

“Who’s got my underwear?” I called “I must have yours Gloam, they’re way too tight. Makes me want to sing punk rock.”

“I wasn’t wearing any,” said Isha “But I am now. And I don’t think this blouse is my colour at all.” The ancient 2580-ish grey lamé really did not work for her and we needed to get out of here pronto. Rarity would kill me if I were to let a friend die so unfashionably.

“These must be yours, Tanna dear,” Discord announced, flipping up the skirt he was now wearing, “and I’ve acquired a very stylish grey kilt.”

He was wrong about the fashion: his ‘kilt’ was skirt in a tone of grey that had totally flopped, but sure enough those were my panties stretched tight by their unaccustomed cargo.

“Whatever you do, don’t think about Fluttershy, someone's liable to be killed by the elastic snapping.”

There was still no visible sign of enforcer activity on these streets. I guided my small herd across the street and down the walk.

“Keep cool, everypony, and think ‘inconspicuous’.”

Ahead of us a door clicked open.

“Take the the stairs down,” Bear said, “there is a patrol around the next corner. We need to go deep.”

The door led to an access stair and soon we were back underground. Bear guided us through another maze of tunnels.

“Can you misdirect the enforcers?” I asked as we burrowed beneath the city.

“I can control ninety nine percent of the entire military right now. Everything except the Nuclear Launch Authority and the boots here on the ground. That last will be the most difficult. But at least I can track them. Left here.”

Free from the crowds above, we made better time in the tunnels and traveled several kilometers. Bear directed us, safely avoiding the enforcer troops searching the tunnels. Once he had us hide in the shadows under an enormous tank as a patrol passed by within a few meters of us.

“Tangent, go ahead,” he said as we approached another security door, “everyone else hold back. You have a two minute lead, try not to lose more than one minute here.”

From the layout I expected another access checkpoint and monitoring station. Similar nodes we had passed through were all empty, long abandoned in a city running at a fraction of its capacity. What could be different about this one? I opened the door; Bear wouldn't just send me in without warning if it was dangerous.

Sprawled across the desk inside were Bob Call and a woman, en flagrant. In the chaos of interrupting them, it did not escape my notice that the woman bore a superficial resemblance to me.

“Scram you two!” I said, “You’re going to be up to your assholes in enforcers in under two minutes.”

Bob didn’t hesitate; he jumped up without so completing so much as another stroke and swept the woman into his arms.

“Which way are they coming from?”

“Following me, coming in from the north,” I said as I scooped their clothes up from them floor and dropped them on his lover’s belly. “Bear, can you help these two get out of sight?” I didn’t wait for an answer as I pushed them into one of the hallways leading away from pursuit.

“I saw you,” Bob said, pausing in the door, “on top of the building with a fistful of sunlight, before you jumped. I never said anything about it.”

“Just go,” I said, “if a voice tells you which way to go, obey him. Be well. And thank you for your silence.” I slammed the door behind the naked lovers and waved my group forward. “We need to get back to the surface, we’re close now.”

“You are only ninety seconds ahead of the patrol,” Bear updated us, “move out, people.”

We did.

“Who was that?” Twilight asked as we hurried along the next tunnel. Bear unlocked another maintenance door and we headed up the stairs.

I kept my voice low as I explained.

“He was the manager of the man who raped me. He also,” I hesitated to say it, “kinda fell for me.”

“The woman looked sorta like you.”

“I hope that means he’s over me.”

“Change of plans,” Bear said, “another group is securing the top of this stairwell, they are going to block it off before we get there. ”

We turned about and descended back down the stairs we had climbed, continuing downward when we passed our entry point. At the bottom I paused at the door.

“Go on,” said Bear, “we need to go deeper.”

“We’re already at bottom level, where else is there to go?”

“Tanna, today we expand your education. It is time for you to discover the subcity.”

—

“Aren’t we going the wrong direction?”

The long sweeping flights of stairs, I’d lost count of how many, had plunged us to depths I couldn't imagine. Always leading the same direction instead of switching back, each one took us farther from the direction I had planned to go.

“There is a deep transit system that should still operate. Perhaps you can take refuge there.”

The rest of the party listened as Bear and I discussed our route. Even Gloam was too awed, or tired, to interject her questions.

The final steps deposited us before a doorway large enough to drive a city block through. The darkness beyond was a perfect wall of inky shadow, resonant of vacuous midnight infinities.

“Through here?” I asked. There was no hint of light to guide our way.

“A moment, please. Shade your eyes.”

I raised my hand – suddenly the space before us was illuminated and I gasped at the sight. The cavern was an underground world, larger than the city above. Empty buildings stretched into the distance, the far walls of the expanse were lost in atmospheric haze.

The centrepiece of the subscape before us was a great black pyramidal redoubt, stretching halfway to the distant ceiling. A moat of living blue fire surrounded it.

“What is this place?” Twilight asked.

“A lost world, the night land, the subcity.” Bear sounded almost awed himself.

I’d never heard of such a vast geo-front and here it sat apparently empty.

“Has anyone else been this deep in modern times?”

“Humans? Only two that I am aware of. You will want to avoid the morlocks, though.”

“Morlocks?” Discord asked. “Not friends of ours?”

“I jest,” Bear explained. “That was the name of a fictional race of cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers. The term will make a useful endonym. The creatures who live here appear to have once been human, but they should not present much danger if you keep moving. I would like you to hurry to the transit stop, it is only few hundred meters.”

“Can’t we hide in one of the buildings?”

“The subcity is not instrumented like the surface world, I would not be able to evaluate structures for defensibility or adequately watch for attacks, I can not tell you what deeper tunnels might open into the cellars of any building you might shelter in. The transit system has rudimentary security systems. If we keep moving, where I can watch you, you will be safer.

We jogged along, listening to the city coming to life. The sounds of machines, ventilation systems, self driving vehicles spread across the landscape.

“I expect that the Morlocks will navigate mostly by sound and scent; I’m running equipment everywhere I can reach so that not too many of them will hear you. Smell will be harder to mask.”

“What do you know about them?”

“Only what I’ve learned from watching them as you descended. Even I am in new territory now.”

—

A narrow gauge commuter rail train wended its way thought the forgotten city. Through the windows we watched the strange sights roll past. Some buildings were untouched and new, others crumbled from within. Here and there primitive huts and lean-to’s contrasted with glass towers. Trees, lawns, vines had grown riot at some time in the past – and died when the lights turned off. The only vegetation showing any sign of life were fungoid masses scattered with a disconcerting hint of pattern, and the bioslimes growing in every trickle of water. Here and there wreckage spoke of detachments from the ceiling lost somewhere above.

And flickers of surreptitious movement.

“Morlocks?” I asked.

“Yes. If nothing blocks the tracks, I can keep you moving until you can take us to Gallop,” Bear said. “In the mean time, I strongly recommend that you all take some rest.”

—

Gloam tossed a FSB wrapper in the trash as we waited for the train to stop.

We had circled back under the city, a night of rail travel returning us nearly to the spot where we had boarded.

“We are changing plans again. The morlocks seem to be adapting to the light better than I hoped, and they are displaying very complex behavior.” Bear gave everyone the short version of the briefing he had given me when he first woke me. “Complex behavior such as blocking the train tracks in several locations. We need to get out before they trap us somewhere of their choosing – their numbers are much higher than I would expect.”

With a mechanical sigh the train finally halted.

“You are going to have to make a run for it.”

Across the expanse of cement an elevator door beckoned. Only fifty metres? We had rested from yesterday’s journey, but none of us were going to sprint that distance, no matter how disconcerting the bleached figures starting to close in on us appeared.

Still, we made a pretty good dash. I pulled Gloam along with me as best I could she was slowing me down. Discord dropped back and took her other hand, helping pull her along. With his aid we caught up.

Neck and neck (and neck, and neck, and neck) we all crossed the threshold at once. The rickety platform was already starting to move and when the door slammed closed on two of our pursuers they barely wriggled back in time to avoid being chopped in half by the rising floor as we left them behind.

“Are you ready for a long ride up? This one goes almost to the surface.”

—

Stone Dodger lay and caught his breath.

Elevator doors did not close that fast, but this one would have cost him and brother Stickbent their lives had they been slightly slower to pull free.

Almost, he had touched one of the walking shadows. He looked down at his pale hand with wonder. Almost.