Twilight Sparkle and the Stupid Original Pony

Bob set Taciana on her feet and they ran naked down the tunnel, still carrying their possessions.

“Go towards the blinking light,” a voice commanded as the light at the next junction began to blink.

“Why—”

“Run.”

When they neared the blinker it faded to dim illumination and another light started blinking down a side tunnel.

“Where—”

“Run,” the voice repeated.

Two hundred meters further along, a pressure bulkhead closed behind, isolating them on the edge of an unknowable gulf.

“When—”

“Put on your shoes, please, the grating is not suitable for bare feet. No time for clothes, but keep them for later. Halfway across the catwalk, the left railing is broken. Hurry, carefully, and use the right hand rail.”

The darkness around the walk was too huge to echo with their steps. The dull strip of illumination running along the bridge gave no clue to the expanse of the gulf surrounding. A dislodged chunk of the broken railing fell and made no sound to assure them that the void actually had a bottom. When they finally reached the far side another door slid open.

“What—”

“Into the lift, please.”

With a mechanical shudder an interminable descent began.

“Who—” Bob, paused waiting for an interruption. None came. “Who are you?” he finally asked. The elevator had plunged for ten minutes before he spoke.

“Surely you have heard of the deus ex machina?”

“Of course.”

“At your service. For all practical purposes you should have died today, the enforcers have killed everyone they found in the tunnels while they hunted for Tanna. I have saved you both for her sake. I will do what I can to preserve you through the next few days.”

“What about the next few days?” he demanded.

The lift stopped and opened. They must be disturbingly deep beneath the city now. A few meters into the inky gloom another door slid open, light streaming out.

“This domicile was last occupied by a cable maintenance technician as recently as fifty years ago; I may ask you to adjust some connection for me. In the mean time, I would like you to spend the next few hours here, possibly a day or two. I believe it will be safe. You may continue your love making and then rest. I will tell you when you may emerge.”

The abandoned domicile was small and stale, but clean.

“Tell me what about the next few days.”

“Tanna needed a distraction so she could escape offworld. I have effectively toppled the Oligarch government to provide the required distraction.”

“You overthrew the government for a distraction?”

“Yes, Moloch is fallen.”

“What?”

“Please be aware that Oligarch command forces still control some of their nuclear assets. I am working on it, but there could be a revenge strike. I have their systems flooded with false intel, so if they nuke the right city it will simply be our bad luck. But I cannot rule it out until I defeat their key instrumentality lock logic and hard safe the weapons.”

“Those codes are unbreakable.”

“Merely difficult, and I am working on it.”

Taciana had found clean linens in a storage cubby and made the bed. Now she took Bob’s hand and pulled him towards it.

“With that machine watching us?” he asked.

“The machine says it is el Dios en La Máquina. Dio sees all.” She shrugged. “I will not be ashamed of my love—” now her gaze was smoldering “—my love for you.”

—

“Non, non, non,” Taciana chided afterwards, “do not sleep yet, my sweet.”

Bob groaned a protest but his eyes stayed open.

“Tell me of this woman, this Tanna who looks like me. You called me Tanna when first we met. I thought you just were saying my name wrong.”

He sat up and leaned against the headboard.

“I used to work for the government, in the agency responsible for suppressing magic. She came to us to dutifully report her strange experiences. Strange like being born a boy and magically turning into a fully functional female. One of my men savagely raped her. We found he’d been using his position to abuse vulnerable citizens for years. Most of the people we worked with were suffering serious delusions, not magic. She was the first of his victims to file a complaint. That’s when I met her, and fell for her.”

“Oh, the poor niña! Tell me, did you,” she cupped his balls, his limp sticky penis, in her hand, “comfort her?”

“Did you see the purple dude? That’s her husband, and the father of the girl. He wasn’t there to save her, but I swear I didn’t touch her.”

“Then you are a good man to not take advantage of a married woman in distress. Did the purple husband avenge Tanna’s honor against your employee?”

“No. Tanna killed Angstrom herself. She struck a killing blow and she managed to summon the goddess of the damned to claim him before his heart even stopped.”

“Taciana,” Taciana said with a shiver, “is not quite so dire in her wrath.”

—

Supplies in the abandoned domicile were quite basic, but sufficient for an emergency. An FSB didn’t taste any better for sitting a half century on the shelf, but it didn’t taste any worse either.

As they endured another bland meal together Taciana asked, “tell what it was you saw of your Tanna with the sunlight.”

“Her husband, el hombre morado, is like a priest or something to the sun god in another world. Tanna reached into a sunbeam and grabbed a handful of sunlight. Like grabbing a handful of spicy pepitos.”

Taciana giggled. “Did she eat los pepitos del sol?”

“No, she held the holy fire in her hand and pulled it to her heart. When she released it, it soaked through her skin. And then she jumped off the tallest building in the city. I sent my men to look for her body, but she never hit the ground.”

—

It was the third day before the voice told them to prepare to venture forth.

“What about the scratching at the door?” Bob asked.

“I have lured it elsewhere. You are happier not knowing what it was.”

“Will you continue to help us?”

For ponderous milliseconds Bear weighed his priorities. Goals, resources, probabilities, and time. Contingencies, exigencies, and time. Always time, the pressure of time eating away at the one resource he could never renew.

“You may call me Bear,” he said after a long, long, long pause for thought, imperceptible by humans. “I will help you so long as I am able to and there is no conflict with my primary objective.”

“El Oso en La Máquina!” cried Taciana happily “Gracias!”

“What is your primary objective, Bear?”

“Tangent’s safety. The rest of the universe is largely negotiable.”

“Tangent? But she’s Tanna now that she’s a woman. I personally made sure her name change got approved.”

“Tangent is no longer on this world. I’m waiting on a tracking update as soon as Tangent reactivates the node he or she is carrying, but having returned to Equestria, I will expect that he’s gotten his male gender back.”

“Tanna est Tangent? Un Señior?”

“Yes, Miss Morales, that is correct. Furthermore Mister Sparkle, the purple gentleman, will now be la Princesa Sparkle.”

“Tangent's safety is your absolute?”

“And by logical extension, those under his protection. I will consider this to include taking care of you since Tanna asked me to help you and did not specify any cutoff for said help. As I said, the rest is negotiable.”

“You said that she left Terra. Are there others here whom you are helping?”

“There are others. One in particular could use your support if I am to make use of her abilities. Let’s fix this planet in case Tangent ever needs a plan C.”

“Cee?” he asked.

“¿Si?¨ she asked.

“No, Taci, the letter ‘C’. What’s plan ‘B’?”

“That is need to know information, Bob,” their benefactor said simply. “I can’t tell you about that until I have earned your trust.”

“Not the other way ‘round? Okay, so, you’ll fix our world just in case Tangent needs it as a spare?”

“We will remake this world and swing the pendulum back towards utopia,” Bear assured them, “just in case.”

Could a machine sound benevolent? Avuncular?

“Tell me, Mister Bob Call and Señorita Taciana Morales,” the machine continued, “how does a system of liberty, justice, and representational government sound?”