Author's Note

Extra drop today, on account of reasons. Also, innuendo warning.

147-In The White Room

Twilight and I enjoyed a pleasant stroll following her mother’s directions. Not even a distant explosion disturbed our enjoyment of each other’s company. After we turned from Headan Avenue to Thirty Second Street, we arrived.

“I dunno,” Twilight said as we paused for a moment in front of the Ceylon hotel, “this kinda lacks spontaneity.”

The building itself was discreet, the sign out front giving no indication just what went on inside. Anypony who didn’t know might mistake it for a teahouse or a vendor of robotic warriors.

“Let us consider that we have taken an opportunity that we couldn't have imagined an hour ago. Spontaneity has struck, now we roll with it.”

“Okay.” She smiled. “I’m still in shock that I took you to meet my parents and their first reaction was to pack us off to a sex hotel!”

“Your parents accept that you are a grown up mare and that there is a physical component to our love. And they want some time to get to know their granddaughter.”

Twilight chickened out once we entered said sex hotel.

“I can’t do this. I’m going to skulk here by the fireplace while you get the room. Hurry or I might run away!”

I approached the front desk alone.

“We’d like a room for two,” I said to the manager, “if you have a vacancy? It’ll be me and I’m going to try to get the pretty purple alicorn mare hiding behind the potted ficus to join me.” He didn’t so much as bat an eyelash at the notion of an alicorn as a customer. “Since we’re like married and stuff.”

“By the hour or overnight?” was his circumspect question.

“Overnight, if you please.”

“Excellent, sir, have you seen our catalog?”

He passed me a brochure from a stack on the counter.

Breezily I flipped through the glossy illustrated guide to the many themed rooms on offer. The couples shown enjoying the various scenes were pretty clopworthy. But being with my Twilight, tonight, I would have no need of spank material for now. I tucked the flier into my satchel.

“Her mother recommends room seventeen. We’d like to give it a try.”

“Excellent choice, quite popular in certain circles. Please allow me to verify that it is vacant tonight.” He checked the board behind him, removing a room key and sliding it across the counter. “If sir would be so good as to sign the register…”

—

“I can’t believe my parents used to come here,” Twilight said as we walked down the hall towards our room.

I grinned until Twilight realized what she had said.

With a groan she rephrased herself. “I find it challenging to accept that my immediate progenitors were previously in the habit of utilizing this highly specialized facility.”

“I’d say they have very good taste.”

Everything we had seen so far was impressive. Tidy and understated, this was clearly a retreat for classy ponies in search of a quiet assignation; certainly not a bolt hole for mares of the night to ply their tragic trade.

“I wonder what else I don’t know about my parents. I wonder if they snuck off to swing.”

“No way. I’d say they are one hundred percent, locked on, dialed in, on strictly for each other. That’s my take after meeting them. Here we are.”

I unlocked our room and opened the door.

“Oh, wow.”

Twilight stood gobsmacked in the doorway and I peered around her to get a look at the room.

The first thing I noticed was white, everywhere, brilliant white. Indirect lighting made the entire room bright like there was sunlight everywhere; the floor itself was illuminated from beneath. Gold trim dripped from everything that wasn’t actively illuminated and black curtains covered the windows to keep the room’s brilliance from shining out like a beacon into the night. To the side of the entryway where we stood, a spiral stair lead to a small balcony commanding a view of the room. The only real colour was the velvet painting of Celestia, mane and tail wafting on mystic breezes. The picture hung over the bed; larger than life it took most of the wall. I couldn't imagine her Highness sitting for such a portrait.

“Oh, wow, is right, that’s almost irreverent.” I nodded towards the painting. “This must be styled after Celestia’s own room?”

“Nuh-uh. Not at all. Her room is all blues and purples and cozy. This is… crazy! To Tartarus with spontaneity, do me now!”

—

“I’m close, oh Princess, oh I love you—”

“Tangent, I’m gonna—”

“You are very naughty ponies!” said Celestia.

Hiding under the bed may not have been the best choice, but Twilight was scooting under from the other side; I reflected that at least I was not alone in my folly.

“That wasn’t really…?” I asked.

“It can’t have been. But it sounded like her.” She raised her voice, calling, “Teacher? Princess?”

“Your Highness?” I added.

Only silence.

Twilight touched my shoulder and I climbed out from under the bed; I was not struck down by celestial fire and she emerged a moment later.

There was nopony else in our room.

“You heard that too, right?” Twilight asked.

I nodded, yes.

“But there’s no way—”

“Bow Down Before Me!” boomed Celestia from above.

Twilight and I lowered our heads on command, but what direction should we bow? Where could Celestia be, and why did she sound so stern? Nervously we looked around but there was no sign of her Highness.

“Twi? Could it be some kind of audio recording?”

As if prompted Celestia’s voice rang out again, sultry this time, “Thou must be… punished!”

“There must be a sound crystal hidden somewhere in here. That one didn’t even sound remotely like something she would say.” Twilight looked around again before adding, “I hope.”

After a thorough search we found a device hidden on the balcony. An array of thin gold wires and magical gems attached to a small wooden board, tucked under a pillow. The weight of the pillow had randomly activated some of the controls.

“I don’t know about you babe,” I said, “but as much as I truly do love her Highness as our ruler, I do not harbor any urge to include her in our sex life.”

“Me neither! Let’s just sleep.”

“Rest, Princess.” I kissed her cheek. “I’m going to go ask the manager if this device is one of the perks for our room.”

—

The same stallion who had rented us the room was still at the front desk.

“How may I be of service?”

He naturally suspected something amiss and I dutifully produced the magical soundboard.

“Does this come with the room?”

I pressed a key and the machine spewed forth a curt, “ungghh, deeper, peasant!”

The manager winced.

“It has been randomly going off, and I’m afraid it’s rather spoiled the mood,” I said.

“I am so sorry, sir, that is absolutely not one of our amenities; it must have been lost by a previous guest and housekeeping failed to remove it.”

“In defense of your cleaners, it was buried under a throw pillow on the balcony. Took us forever to find it.”

He shook his head with regret.

“I can comp you the room, that kind of prank is not what we expect our paying guests to tolerate.”

“I’ll meet you halfway. Comp us some snacks and a bottle of decent bubbly and I’ll call it good.”

“Thank you, sir, that’s very reasonable of you. Do you want it left outside the door, or shall I bring it in?

“Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll make sure my better half is too distracted to notice you bring it in.”

The manager clicked his tongue and winked; now it was up to me to salvage my evening with Twilight.

—

“Tangent…” Twilight’s respiration had steadied to the point where she could speak again; perhaps I was losing momentum as my tongue tired.

“Mmmmf, mmmf?” I asked from between her thighs.

“Somehow sandwiches and champagne have appeared in our room,” she said dreamily. “I’m not complaining, mind you, but we never did have lunch. Maybe you could pour me a glass of champies and feed me a little sammich?”

Reluctant as I may have been to disengage my mouth from Twilight's luscious cleft, I rose to inspect our treats. I selected a cress and cucumber on thin caraway rye for my love and poured champagne. I offered her the corner of the sandwich and she daintily nibbled at it while I stuffed half a cheese and roasted pepper sandwich on herbed wheat bread into my mouth.

The tiny sandwiches were good, just enough to fuel another round but not heavy enough to slow anypony down. Soon, they and the champagne were gone.

“And now…”

“What now, dearest?”

Without a word she levitated her empty glass back to the tray. Rotating herself until she was laying across the bed, she lay on her back and hung her head over the edge of the mattress.

“Now,” she said, looking at me upside down, “now I want you to do me like I did you that one night, c’mon, c’mon, I want you to pound my mouth!”

—

The next morning we turned up at the Sparkle residence, yawning from an almost sleepless night, but ready to collect our daughter from her grandponies. The house was standing, that was promising. Twilight Velvet’s mane was slightly singed, but she was upbeat still. Apparently she’d had an hair raising, but fun evening with her granddaughter. But there was no sign of Nightlight; had he survived?

Twilight shared some of the less unmentionable highlights of our evening with her mother. She described the room, and what we found in it, but not what occurred, nor where we ended up when sallying forth later in the evening.

“Well that sounds exciting!” Twilight Velvet said.

I hoofed a random button on the magic soundboard – the hotel manager had been quite glad to let me keep it.

“You must learn to serve me better!” decried the recorded Celestia impersonator.

“Room seventeen used to be a tropical castaway theme.” Twilight Velvet was blushing. “With palm trees and grass skirts.”

“I see,” Twilight saw. “Where’s Dad?”

“He’s ah, rest—” Twilight was off like a shot “—ing.”

Gloam was at the window and Twilight Velvet cast a spherical spell around herself and me.

“Would you like some cookies, Gloam?” she asked.

No response, Gloam was watching ponies out on the street.

Louder, “have as many cookies as you want, Gloam.”

Still nothing.

Satisfied, Twilight Velvet turned to me.

“Tangent, what did you give birth to?”

“Cover your mouth,” I said, speaking from the side of mine. “She may be able to read lips. She can see us in the reflection on the window glass.”

Twilight Velvet looked alarmed and her spell grew more opaque.

“Isn’t she just wonderful?” I asked. “What happened?”

“She told me about sneaking onto the big slide at the water park and hitting the water backwards.”

“Oh, that. Yep, she’s a real hoofful!”

“She tried to re-enact it last night. With the housekeeping staff’s largest laundry tub at the bottom of the stairs. She was just about to jump onto the banister when Nighty caught her.”

“Good catch, Dad! She should definitely have asked before borrowing the tub, I’m sorry about that.”

“Tangent, how long ago was the slide incident?”

“Three days, our timeline.”

“Celestia help me, I may be too old for this.”

“Don’t worry, Mom, she’s a good filly. Did she tell you what she did before the water park?”

“No.”

“I was in the clutches of a tentacle monster; it was about to rip my legs off. She jumped from a safe hiding place and started tearing its eyes out with a rusty pipe.”

“Ma déesse,” Twilight Velvet whispered. “A foal like that, it’s okay if she terrorizes her grandponies. Nighty and I will gladly take care of her any time you kids need us to.”

“Thanks, Mom. We’ll try not to abuse the privilege.”

“She’s going to grow up to be an important pony. I’m sure of it.”

A moment later as Twilight Velvet cut her spell as my Twilight came bustling along.

“Sorry about that,” my princess said, “I heard an explosion yesterday, and suddenly got worried about Dad.”

“He was just showing Gloam his cannon, up on top the tower. He didn’t expect her to figure out how to fire it,” her mother explained to me.

“Boom!” yelled Gloam. “It’s not as good as real magic, but I want to study gunnery too!”

I’d have to make a point of warning Captain Armitage at the Ponyville Castle garrison to be careful about Gloam around the cannons.

A moment later we had said our goodbyes and departed.

“Bye-bye, Gloamosauros Wrecks!” Twilight Velvet called from the porch.

We hurried off, Twilight and I hoping we could catch up from a long night by snoozing on the train.