The compliment was well meant but I could see my words did not sit well with Twilight.

“Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry about passing out on the sofa earlier.”

Our second round had taken place in bed and had produced a far more balanced outcome.

“Not exactly wrong,” she said, “really it’s a matter of semantics.”

“I did something wrong but it wasn’t ‘wrong wrong’?”

She shook her head – apparently I still wasn’t getting it.

“I was just saying how much I enjoyed your va—”

“Honey,” said Twilight, “can please you not use that word unless I’m lying on my back on an exam table with an icy cold speculum lodged in mine.”

“I’m so sorry! Is it disrespectful in Equestrian usage?”

“No, it’s not disrespectful, it’s just too clinical for my taste. Vagina. Penis. Words from a biology class or an uncomfortable medical procedure. Neither are things I would associate with having fun with my somepony special!”

At last the light dawned.

“Let me try again, dear. What I mean to say was that your pussy is delightful. You’re so hot and wet and tight, squeezing around my cock.”

“Much better.” Her eyes lit up with trouble. “If you're feeling a little naughtier, you can call it my cunt. Yeah—” she nuzzled up against me, her cheek against mine, “—I want you to buck my cunt, you shadowy Terran stud. I want you to use my cunt. Your princess commands you to pound her cunt with your throbbing human cock!”

“Yeah, verily, my princess, I obey. Suffice it to say that the pinnacle of our fleshly jointure shall be most epic as fecund fountains foam forth and moisture mingles.”

“Ooh, nice, ornate alliterative euphemism is even better than sexy dirty nasty street talk! And anything is better than doctor gabble.”

“Are there any other word choice rules I should know about?”

“Well, I do make exceptions for role-play.”

“Name the role, and I shall play it!”

“Silly,” she scoffed.

“I can do silly.” I said, willfully misunderstanding her intent. “C’m’ere you hottie naughty silly filly, gonna put my wanger banger in your mare-gina!”

“Maregina?”

Twilight’s eyes were wide with surprise and absurdity.

“Maregina?” she repeated, incredulous.

“Uh, yeah?” I said as she started to guffaw.

Twilight’s laughter increased and didn’t stop when she rolled off the bed.

The next round took place on the floor, despite the continuing laughter.

—

“She’s away already, and no longer in Equestria,” Celestia addressed Luna and Cadance.

“Art certain of the safety of her excursion?” A frown accompanied the question.

“I am certain that it’s about time she wanted to be more than ‘just friends’ with somepony. I truly hope she’s done well for herself with this fling. Cadance, dear, have you done a security audit and accounted for all your spells as I asked you?”

“Yes, there were two intrusions into my inner magic storage room,” Cadence pouted. “One was Twilight, as confirmed by the visitor log. The other is unknown, probably a curious guard: a security gem detected motion in the room, but nopony entered or left the building. Twilight left carrying a scroll, but I am not missing anything, I’m quite sure of it.”

“She must have found something you’ve forgotten. Perhaps your record keeping has not been up to standard.”

“I’m sorry, Auntie.”

“Don’t fret, I can hardly blame you for failing to stop her.”

“But I’m an alicorn! I should be able to keep my stash safe.”

“Yes, you are. But consider who the intruder was. Luna had a scroll, eh, relocated, as well.”

Celestia carefully avoided the ess word lest she rekindle a debate barely put to rest.

“She did not steal it,” Luna insisted.

“Sister, you cannot give permission after the fact.”

“What we can not do, we can in no wise deny any thing to the pony who hast bested us, taught us our limits, and beyond all impossibility become our friend.” There was much more Luna could have said about how the purple mare had changed her life, the yearnings that Twilight had awoken. “Should she levy any ransom against us, it is her right to spoil us how she will.” Alarmed by Twilight’s summons to court, Luna had developed legal theories to support of a defense that never happened.

“Enough.”

Celestia was beginning to be annoyed by her sister’s fixation on a very minor issue. What did it matter now?

“Quibbles of law aside, my point is that Twilight walked right through your rather high level security spells and that Cadance should not feel bad that hers were insufficient. You see, Twilight is—” she hesitated slightly, adjusting her choice of words mid utterance “—ah, she is Twilight. What more can I say? There is no word to define a pony who defines herself tabla rasa.”

—

Evil has no universal lowerarchy to bind it into an absolute cohesion. There are many sources of darkness, and often they contend against each other. When two very alien evils seek to bargain, they must find a common vocabulary.

Author's Note

How you say it can be almost as important as what you say, and using the right words can cover up for what you don't say at all. Next week- one of the very first chapters to actually get written will finally see light.