"The power of Celestia compels you! The power of Luna compels you!"

Pinkie stood imposing in a black cassock; she chanted while shaking a couple of worn, mismatched, silver horseshoes at the possessed mare. Clouds of incense smoke swirled around her, wafted by an assistant swinging a censer.

She was putting an impressive amount of effort into the exorcism. The sisters hadn't worn silver shoes since before their coronation and Pinkie had somehow obtained these holy relics - the ritual ought to do the job.

Pinkie had worked herself into a lather - in a frothing fanatical frenzy she shouted, "I exercise you!"

"I think you mean exorcise, darling, exercise just makes me stronger."

Rarity tossed her head as Pinkie continue to jangle to shoes together.

"I command you by Celestia and Luna!"

"Yes, yes, yes, I know who Celestia and Luna are," the demon controlling Rarity's body spoke with syrupy sweet malice, "but just who are you?"

Pinkie started to back away.

An evil grin spread on Rarity's face; she held up a large pair of scissors with sharp zig-zag edged blades.

"I trust you know what these are—" Pinkie stared at the menacing implement "—and what they can do to pink little ears!"

Slowly Pinkie's ears flattened, conforming themselves to her skull as if they wanted to hide.

Rarity advanced on her, opening and closing the shears every step with a menacing snick, snick, snick.

"Ulp." Pinkie ditched her robes. "Here comes the chase scene!"

—

When the cutie marks started lighting up, and the map table gave a destination, Twilight finally relented and included me on a mission. It wasn’t any further away than the central business district of Ponyville — no less an iconic destination than Carousel Boutique hosted the demonic crisis.

“…and mostly just keep out of the way. Have this ready when I call for it,” she summed up my orders.

I tucked the soul gem in my satchel and saluted. “Got it.”

“Let’s go,” she said with a nervous smile. Was it really so stressful having me included on the rescue team?

Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and I fell in behind her; it was a short march to town.

We turned onto Fleet Street and stood before Rarity’s shop.

Pinkie listened at the door. “I hear six heartbeats,” she said, “and I smell evil.”

Pinkie knocked , now trying to peer through the keyhole.

“So that would be approximately two octopuses,” I murmured as we waited.

“Octopi,” Twilight miscorrected me.

“Eww,” said AJ, “If yer makin’ pie, I recommend apples, not octo-watsits.”

The door slowly creaked open and Pinkie skittered backwards, landing on her rear. Blue eyes shone in the darkness of the fashion showroom.

“Oh, customers! Won’t you come see what I’ve been working on, darlings? My new designs are simply to die in.”

Rarity’s eyes didn’t normally glow.

“I’n’it supposed to be ‘to die for’, Rar’?”

“No, dear, I’m quite sure it is ‘in’ in this case.”

Rarity stepped aside and we entered; spotlights flared.

The showroom was deserted; only Rarity and an assortment of ponikins. Oddly …lifelike… ponikins showing the warped fashions she had contrived under the bonds of demonic possession. With only short days before the F4, it was natural to expect that she might push fashion boundaries. But perhaps not in the direction indicated by these designs. In comparison with the strange attire on display, Rarity looked even more glamorous than usual. Preternaturally so.

But where were the other heartbeats Pinkie heard coming from?

As our eyes adjusted to the bright light we began to see that the ponikins were not as stationary as they should be. They weren’t ponikins at all! Real ponies were strapped into bizarre outfits, on display as if they were lifeless dummies. The magic of the horror couture siphoned the essence of each pony’s individual good looks to Rarity. No wonder she was glowing, she dazzled with stolen beauty.

“Ponies! Are you okay?” Twilight cried.

We could see lips move but there was no sound.

“What did you do to them?”

“Oh, I didn’t hurt them,” Rarity said, “everypony is just a little hoarse.”

She stood, gloating in her glorious ganked glamour.

“From all the screaming, that is.”

Twilight stepped forward; Applejack and I kept positions flanking her.

“Will you stop trying to guard me? I’m just here for backup, Pinkie has point."

“I do?” Pinkie asked from the rear.

“Pinkie, come on, plan ‘A’, you got this!”

Pinkie sprang into action; as an earth-pony she had to rely on ritual magic instead of innate power and she had brought her gear along. Passing me a smoking censer, she began her spell.

“Evil spirit of meanie meanness and unnecessarily broad shoulder pads begone…”

—

Leaving her cassock behind, Pinkie fled Rarity’s attack like a pink meteor. None of us fancied zig-zag edges to our ears and the boutique became a maelstrom of pandemonic pony pursuit.

Upstairs and downstairs we fled our painfully possessed pale pony pal – with a burst of speed I cornered her in a spare room.

“Aren’t I the one chasing you?” she asked.

“My bad.”

I gave her the censer and ran.

—

I met up with one of my teammates in Rarity’s boudoir.

“Hold the other end of this here sheet and we’ll git ‘er when she comes through th’ door,” she said.

We perched like gargoyles, on either side of the entry, our improvised net at the ready.

There were hoofsteps outside and we leapt down when somepony came through.

We had her! Applejack drew the corners of the sheet together to tie some kind of unsolvable barn-knot.

“Hey, guys?” said the pony in the middle of sheet, “did I do something wrong?”

We captured the wrong mare! As Applejack tried to free Pinkie, Rarity galloped into the room.

“Don’t gallop with scissors—” I started to say but I was too late. Rarity tripped on Pinkie and staggered towards the ornate four post bed on the far side of the room. The scissors went flying and severed the support for the chandelier. It fell onto the canopy of the bed just as Rarity fell into the mattress; the fourposter collapsed on her. Applejack and I grabbed the bundle containing Pinkie and charged back downstairs.

“Everypony! Hide in here!” I opened the hall closet and we all crowded in. As soon the door closed behind us, another door opened at the back of the closet, revealing a red-lit stairway downwards.

“Woah, there,” said Applejack, finally freeing Pinkie from the sheet, “Ah don’t recall the bo-teek as havin’ a sex basement, though her sleepin’ room was plenty wild.”

Twilight lead the way down and we found ourselves in a five-sided underground chamber. Chains and iron bands held Spike to a bondage rack near the bottomless pit. His reptilian twin penii strained, fully erect, from a slit normally hidden by his scales and the sound of a vibrator’s hum came from his backside.

“I always thought that your wife probably had some exotic tastes, son,” Twilight said, eyebrows climbing to her hairline, “but this takes the cake.”

“By all that’s holy, this is embarrassing,” he groaned. “Uh, all this is consensual, but things got a little out of control. Can you set me free, mom?”

“I’ll get you in minute.” Twilight examined the room for other dangers. “Spread out,” she ordered, “but maintain line of sight at all times.”

I wasn’t sure what we were looking for so instead I went to release Spike.

“How do I get you off of that thing?” I asked.

“One of the buttons on the remote releases the clamps. Rarity has the key for the locks, um, well, somewhere warm. Mom can bust the chains.”

I found the remote but the buttons were labeled with symbols I couldn't read.

“Can you tell me which one to— oops!”

The remote fell and landed at Spike’s feet. When I bent down to pick it up I must have bumped a button. The buzzing from his arse grew louder – before I could get out of the way he ejaculated from both cocks.

Hot, pent up, dragon semen sprayed my mane and ran down my face. Eyes closed against the musky rain, I pressed buttons until the vibrator stopped; mashed more buttons until the clamps holding his wrists and ankles released. Now only chains restrained him. Spike sighed and hung limp in the bonds.

His clothes had been lying nearby. I groped around until I found a garment and began wiping my face.

“Party foul, dude, you cheesed all over me,” I complained.

“Uh, I’m sorry, pone, I always go off when the vibe hits max, Rar’ had it way up there. Was it good for you?”

“Only if it fixes my split ends.” I had wiped my face cleanish but the unexpected anointing had soaked into my mane and I would need a thorough shower to wash it out.

“To be honest, it totally will.”

Across the room from the bondage gear there was reading stand bearing a scroll; Twilight had been reading with her back to me and missed monitoring my moist mishap.

“Stay back, everypony,” Twilight ordered as she stepped away from the scroll, careful not to step into the remains of the pentagram on the floor. “She’s summoned a demon of S&M fashion. That explains everything. Now if we can just get out of here before she finds—”

Hooves sounded on the stairs above us.

Rarity staggered down the stairs, crystals from the fallen chandelier still tangled in her mane.

“I see you’ve found my little play room,” she said and gave an unjoyed laugh. “Don’t worry, this game isn’t nearly over!”

—

The evil spirit controlling Rarity would not let go of her; still she tried to attach her beauty-leaching sorcery to us. Pinkie had fallen down the bottomless pit during the scuffle.

“Nopony should be forced to wear your demonic accessories!” Twilight shouted.

“I. Must. Have. All. The. Beauty!”

“My lady! Everypony knows you are the most lovely pony in the land!” Spike shouted desperately. He had recovered from his post-orgasmic lethargy enough to rattle at his chains.

“If I cannot have beauty on my terms, give me DEATH!” Rarity turned a ceremonial dagger towards herself, ready to plunge it into her own heart.

“Somepony help her!” Spike pled. Strain as he might, the chains still bound him to the rack.

“I’ll try to go easy on her.” Twilight’s horn lit up as she warmed up a spell. Percussive exorcism is a coarse method, but it’s fast and we had no way of knowing how long Rarity’s demon would monologue before committing dramacide.

“I got this!” I tossed the soul gem to Twilight, missing her entirely.

The utterly unique and inconveniently irreplaceable ancient artifact skittered across the floor and fell into the gaping gulf.

Twilight hoof-faced as Possessed Rarity grinned her contempt.

Before I could completely melt with shame, Pinkie emerged from the pit with the gem in her teeth.

“Smoob moob, bub,” she muttered as she hauled herself out of the hole.

“Ptui!” Pinkie spat the gem to land at Twilight’s hooves. Proximity to Alicorn magic caused it power up, hungry to capture any disembodied spirit nearby. But the demon was safe, possessing Rarity’s body. We would need to drive it out of her before the gem could do its work.

Applejack whispered into my ear and my chagrin turned into a grin.

I faced Rarity and brandished an attack which would free her faster than a furiously flying flaming fireball.

“Plaid taffeta!” I shouted.

“Aaaauuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiii!” Rarity screamed in soul-tearing horror and the fashion demon shot out of her body.

A swirling vortex of darkness formed around the soul gem as it swallowed the unclean spirit. The gem rattled on the ground as it sealed itself around its prisoner.

“Now you throw it down the hole,” Twilight said with exaggerated patience.

I poked at the gem with my hoof. When it stopped rattling I kicked it into the hole.

“I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for you meddling ponies,” muttered the trapped demon as the gem fell.

The hole closed returning the floor to a smooth surface.

“Thank you so much for your generous aid, Tangent. But next time, darling?” Rarity rasped, “Let Twilight try blasting me at least a little bit before you go and bring out the heavy weaponry.” She lay gasping on the floor — she was herself again.

While my teammates helped Rarity I rushed upstairs to aid the demon’s other victims, the fake ponikins trapped modeling a bizarre collection of demonically erotic fashion kinks.

One of the ponies tried to whisper a grateful remark as I undid the buckles restraining her.

“Don’t try to talk, I’ve got tea brewing for you all, once you’re untied.”

Soon there was a pile of their strange attire on the floor: mostly belts, buckles, bindings, and insertables in silicone and metal. What I wouldn’t give for a state of the art autowash; I’d leave this mess for Spike, he owed me.

By the time I poured them all a second cup of sweet, strong, tea their voices were starting to work again and I learned quite a lot about the events leading up to today’s crisis.

“That’s, um, very interesting,” I said with a burning blush, “and I don’t see any reason why you can’t continue to have these special gatherings with Rarity and Spike so long as there are no more demonic invocations. Anyway, nopony will hear about this from me unless I am legally compelled to testify. I don’t know if the Princess will be questioning you.”

Speaking of whom, I heard hoofsteps approaching the dining room where I served the victims tea.

“There you are,” Twilight said, “I’ve dismissed everypony, the job is done. Rarity is in bed resting.” Facing the other ponies she asked, “Do any of you require medical, psychological, spiritual, or sexual support after what you’ve been through?”

“No, your Highness,” one mare said, her throat still a bit raspy. The others nodded in agreement.

“Do any of you wish to file charges?”

A chorus of No’s and one “Absolutely not!”

“Okay, that’s great, you are all free to go. Tangent, ah, just little word with you please...”

Twilight hadn’t said much but it didn’t take much effort to see that she was unhappy about the gem incident. She didn’t say anything until we were outside the boutique.

“First, the good news. The demon didn’t recognize Pinkie – did you catch that? That’s good, it means that it didn’t get access to Rarity’s memories. Rarity is going to be okay.”

“But this situation,” Twilight continued crisply, “is exactly what I wanted to avoid. It’s not enough that you nearly compromised what should have been a stupidly simple mission. In this case we were rescuing one of my team members not just civilians. The safety of the entire realm can hinge on the six of us being able to fight evil. If we had lost Rarity…”

She left the remark hanging – there was no way for me to disagree with the implied hazard.

“This is the down side of trying to have a professional relationship with somepony when you already have a personal relationship. I don’t want to have to chew you out like this and I don’t want anypony wondering if I give you preferential treatment when you screw up.”

“I’m sorry for everything,” I said.

“I know,” she said, “cheer up, maybe go have a drink, meet me back at the castle tonight.”

I didn’t trust my voice so I simply saluted.

“You know you brought this on yourself,” she finished.

—

“You were brilliant, Pinks,” I said, “you really saved the day at the boutique.”

Pinkie was already back at work doing her day job by the time I had showered and made my way to Sugarcube Corner. She set my mid-afternoon first desert on the counter, a large ice-cream sunday to drown my regrets: the ‘Post Performance Review Special’.

“Extra peppers?” she asked, “on the house, and it’s a brand new, fresh, bottle.”

“Thanks,” I said. Pinkie shoveled another couple spoonfuls of extra crispy candied dill pickle goat peppers onto my dessert and leaned on the counter, across from me.

“I apologize for the ‘smooth move’ comment,” she said between bites of peppers eaten straight from the jar, “that was totally uncalled for and certainly not what I call good humor.”

“No hard feelings, teamie, all is forgiven. I really did screw up and you were totally on the ball.”

“Don’t be silly, you just threw a dumb soul crystal. I fell into the hole! If I hadn’t spat Plan B at Twilight’s hooves, there were still plans C through G to try.”

“Well I’m glad you got out of the bottomless pit.”

“Bottomless?” she scoffed around another mouthful, “it was only about three meters deep.”

“Oh! Well, I hope you didn’t get an earful about ‘Plan A’ falling through.”

“Nopie dopie! With the debriefing meeting canceled, nopony on the team got any career development feedback.”

They didn’t?

“Which is probably good for both of us.” Pinkie leaned in and cocked her ears forward conspiratorially – her spicy pickle breath was fearsome. “Twilight is such a perfectionist.”

“Yeah,” I said, “I guess that could be awkward.” I forced a grin as a tear leaked from my eye. “These sure are hot!”

Morosely I finished my ice-cream while Pinkie gargled the last of the pickle juice.

Author's Note

I had fun with this chapter and i hope everypony else does too.
Also h/t to Ever, you'll know why, friend.

Additional: funny story, everypony. I had somehow missed issue 32 of the MLP comics when i wrote this chapter. Just read that episode today, and there's this scene where our heroes are being pursued and Pinkie says, "Start the music! It's a chase scene!" It's like, wow, i was right on target.