Twilight Sparkle and the Stupid Original Pony

A knock woke Twilight in the pre-dawn darkness, and the creak of an opening door. Once again she was staying in a guest room at Canterlot Castle to be closer to the exclusive collection of magic tomes she needed for the current phase of her research. She certainly did not expect any early visitors.

The last traces of sleep departed when she heard a slurred voice call for her.

“Oh, Twi-liiiight…? Art preſent?”

“Luna? Is that you?” she replied cautiously.

Oh, no, she was thinking, is Luna wanting to take me up on that stupid offer I made? Is she drunk? As tantalizing as the memory of Luna’s kiss was, Twilight knew she didn’t really want to fool around unless it would help her reach her goal sooner. Maybe just once, if she could not break the barrier, to send a message that it would take seven years for the spell to implode. Maybe yearly updates, to let him know she was still thinking of him.

“Uh, about that crazy offer—”

“Twilight, prithee aſsist us lower yon moon.” Luna staggered into the room. “We are taken ill of a sudden… it is so cold…”

Twilight jumped out of bed and ran to Luna’s side. “Luna! You’re burning up with fever! You lie down for a minute or two and then we’ll lower the moon together. And then we’ll find a doctor.”

She guided Luna to her bed.

“Mmmm, it smells like you, Princeſs, and so warm.”

Twilight blushed at that remark – she had been thinking of Tangent and her hooves might have wandered as she drifted off to sleep.

“We will close our eyes for just one second.”

Luna was out cold immediately.

“Yup,” said Twilight to herself, “I saw that coming.”

Stepping to the little balcony she looked up at the mystic sliver of a new moon hanging above her.

“I can do this…”

—

“…don’t worry about a thing, your Highness. Luna and I will raise the sun for you together. It will be fine. Rest, Princess, and I will send the doctor to you.” Twilight closed the door quietly.

Outside Celestia’s room she closed her eyes and tried not to hyperventilate. On the plus side, it was her chance to make up for her tantrum at tea the other week. With bothprincesses on the sick roll the astronomy of Equestria would be in her hooves.

—

“I will, of course, need you to make some small subversions to their majesties’ care.”

And of course it would be Dr. Gudlun on duty this morning.

He cleared his throat. “Miss Sparkle. Princess. I am ethically compromised due to my behavior in your treatment. I regret my actions and I am completely under your control. But I will not be induced to hurt the princesses. You may kill me or expose my shame but I will not raise a hoof against my lieges.”

“No, you silly foal!” Twilight rolled her eyes. “I need you to make sure each princess continues to think that her sister is helping me take care of her duties. Neither of them can know that they are both sick. That’s the only way to make sure they get some rest and get better. Half the castle staff are sick, do you really want two feverish princesses staggering around and trying to help? I think even you can get behind this plan.”

“Yes… And who in fact will be helping take care of the sun and the moon?”

“There are only three of us who know how, and two are down with fever. You will also be supplying me with some more of that lab grade amphetamine and telling me how to use it safely. Less dangerously. Whatever. I’m probably not going to be sleeping much until they are better.”

“I can’t win, can I?”

“You will be instrumental in their Highnesses’ recovery. What more do you want, to bed one of them? Both? I know for a fact that Luna prefers mares—” she leered “—but I know I don’t need to remind you to keep patient information confidential.”

“I think I liked you better when you acted like a freemartin.”

“I don’t need you to like me doctor. I need you to help me take care of the princesses.”

“Yes, Princess.”

“And when this is over you are off the hook. I can’t blackmail you forever, and I won’t try.”

“Ah… thank you? I truly do repent that I let my enthusiasm to obey to the crown override my duty to treat you properly. If it any consolation, there should be no permanent physiological harm.”

“There was damn near permanent harm to the universe from the poor choices I made when I got off the medication and experienced all of the emotional roller coaster of the years of puberty crammed into a week of torment,” she retorted. “All of the new sensations, new feelings, new urges compacted into a wall of confusion and anguish. My body going crazy, using my mind as a plaything. My intelligence, the one part of myself that I. Truly. Value. brushed aside by a physical need that should have grown naturally instead of landing on me like a comet strike! If that wasn’t exciting enough, I fell in love and was so confused that I treated him like crap.”

Twilight stopped herself, forced down her growing anger.

“And you wouldn't believe what I did to him once I stopped relying on foalish emotional lashing out and really tried hard to push him away.”

She paused again.

“I do acknowledge,” she said tightly, “that you acted without malice. I think that is about as much friendship as you can ask of me until some more time has gone by.”

The doctor bowed low, out of respect or to hide the tears running down his face.

—

The next two days were an unending whirl of work and the entire royal routine was a shambles with so many ponies ill. Twilight had the sun and moon to juggle, royal duties to cover during the day, and the nightguard to supervise at until dawn. When she wasn’t otherwise occupied she helped medical staff caring for the ill. There would be time for her magical research later.

She even held diplomatic audiences in Celestia’s stead.

“I’ve apologized,” Twilight said to awilderbeast dignitary from far away, “four different ways for the delay. And still you repeat your demands to see her Highness Celestia. If you are unable to delay your mission while her Highness is indisposed, I am fully able to simply deny your requests. Perhaps instant resolution by way of a fast ‘no’ is preferable to waiting for a possible ‘yes’.”

The ambassador stammered, trying to reply.

“I didn’t think so. Her Highness will be delighted to treat with you when she is able. In the mean time, stay well, and wait like everybody else. Dismissed.”

—

By the third day, the situation in Canterlot was much better.

After personally checking her highness’s vital signs, Dr. Gudlun hesitated to leave her bedside.

“I have the results of my research, Princess, if you feel well enough to hear.”

“I do, thank you doctor. What did you find?”

“I screwed up badly, Princess. Nopony should ever be on libido blocker medication for more than a year at most.”

“You were following my command, the mistake was mine. What happens?” Celestia had tensed. “She was on it for over a decade.”

“All of the libidinous energies that are blocked flood out almost all at once, usually over the course of a few days. It also freezes sexual maturation – not physical, behavioral. Her body should be perfectly healthy but she might have acted somewhat juvenile in expressing her new feelings.”

“Juvenile? I am afraid, doctor, that the Princess has been downright infantile in some of her behavior.”

“Er, yes, I see. The product has been recalled due to these side effects. It’s never been used for more than three years and those tests had poor outcomes.”

“Centuries ago, there was a similar medication, but it did not cause an unhealthy accumulation of need. However did she endure?”

“She probably has a naturally low sex drive which minimized the impact of a sudden release after so long,” he offered, “possibly borderline asexual.” Instinctively he tried to hide the glimpse Princess Twilight had given of her suffering. Surely she would not want her mentor to know how close the cessation of treatment had driven her to breaking.

“No, doctor, that theory doesn’t ring true. I think she is a perfectly healthy young mare with a good strong sex drive. She also happens to have a will of iron. The kind of willpower that holds back the impossible. The kind of willpower that does the impossible. The kind of willpower that will not allow her to accept failure.”

“Shit.” This time the doctor did not bother apologizing for swearing in the royal presence. “Did she get into any trouble?” Maybe Twilight had shielded him from the full truth.

“And then she snaps.”

“Shit,” he repeated.

“It would seem she resisted the outpouring of new feelings as long as she could and then looked for release. She brought back a strange consort from another world, surely you’ve heard talk of that. What the tabloids do not know is that he may well fill a prophesy as a destroyer of Equestria, so it was of that necessity I banished him. She’s trying to get him back, but she will not find my barrier spell easy to break. How soon she breaks the spell may reveal just how this fellow fits into the prophesy.”

“That helps explain how hostile she was while arranging for care for you and your s—”

Gudlin stopped himself – too late.

“Is Luna ill too, Doctor?”

“Yes, your Highness. She’s recovering very well and should be able to resume her duties tomorrow.”

Celestia pondered silently.

“I’m sorry, your Highness, for the deception,” he appended after a moment.

“Yes, I suppose you are. It will have been Twilight’s idea, regardless,” she said absently, “but how do I tell Twilight that I am sorry? How can I convince her that I am sorry enough for what I’ve done to her?”

—

Luna looked worlds better when Twilight checked in on her, but still regaining her strength.

“Leave us for a small time, we prithee,” she said to the nurse attending her.

When she was alone with Twilight, she paused for a moment longer before she spoke.

“Twilight we must pose you a difficult question. We awoke in your room, exhauſted from the breaking fever, and with no memory of what went before. Did we try to do anything improper—”

“No, Luna. You were sick and feverish and came to me for help. As a friend should do.”

“Hmmm, that is well. We thank thee for caring for us in our illneſs.”

Twilight’s cheeks burned with shame that she had suspected Luna’s intentions for even a second. Her eyes pricked with tears as she bent low, low, and touched her horn to the floor.

“Always, Princess. I will serve you, I will serve her highness your sister, and I will serve Equestria to the utmost of my life and ability,” she vowed, “and beyond. I swear by Equestria, I swear by—”

Luna had slipped out of bed, gently raised Twilight’s head and silenced her with a hoof touching her lips.

“We doubt not. But it seems to us ill that you enter into such eternal oaths. The final quietus is a bleſsing not to be cast lightly aside.”

“I will serve,” Twilight repeated. “I cannot turn my back on the needs of Equestria.”