Cracking A Herd

All of this was beginning to feel like deja-vu to Crash in the worst way possible. He stared at himself in the mirror at his neatly combed hair and the suit jacket clinging tightly around his body. It felt tight, which told him he had gained a bit of weight in the year since he had last worn it. His reflection stared back at him and showed him a familiar looking face with eyes riddled with anxiety.

“I’m beginning to think I’m kind of an idiot,” Crash said out loud.

“Why’s that?” Lost Way asked from behind him. The zebra slipped into view of the mirror as he cozied up to his lover and rested his chin gently on Crash’s shoulder.

“I really hate first dates,” Crash said. “But since I want a herd so bad I’ll have to keep going on them. I feel like a masochist.”

“I dunno if you can really call this thing with Gilda a first date,” Lost Way said.

“It might as well be,” Crash said as he let out a long sigh. “Without you there I… ugh, I don’t even wanna think about it.”

“It’ll go fine, Crash,” Lost Way said before lifting his hoof up and gently turning Crash’s head toward him. “I already did most of the damage control on my date with her. You just gotta work that charm and she’ll be all over you.”

“Charm?” Crash asked with a bit of a snort. “What charm?”

“You know,” Lost Way said with a giggle. “That way you say really sweet things without even thinking, and how you’re a big sweetheart without trying.”

Lost Way leaned in and pecked Crash right on his nose. The pegasus sighed once more and laid his head up against Lost Way’s own and shut his eyes. The familiar warmth of his partner settled down his anxiety a bit to where he could see the logic in his words.

“You’re gonna do great, Hon,” Lost Way whispered. “You were good enough to make me fall for you, after all.”

“Thanks, Lost,” Crash said. “Now could you maybe follow us around all night and keep telling me that when I feel like puking?”

Lost let out a little giggle as he pulled away from Crash. As he exited the room Crash re examined himself in the mirror.

Crash had been taken aback when Gilda had been the one to suggest someplace more fancy to have their date. She said something about wanting to give it a try if she was going to take their date seriously, and by that point Crash saw no reason to disagree. Though if he felt like an alien in his own skin whenever he went to a place he had to dress up it was still nothing compared to picturing Gilda in that scenario. Her outfit and attitude the night of the club fit her far more, but it was clear neither of them were willing to take a second go at a date like that quite so soon.

Crash looked into his own eyes and thought about Lost’s words of encouragement. He wondered if Gilda had suggested a place that would intentionally make her uncomfortable to put them on a more even playing field. She seemed to have far more experience than him when it came to this sort of thing, so he wouldn’t be surprised. She had to have thought this through enough to think this was a good idea, and he trusted her.

———————————————————————-

“Celestia, Gilds, you really didn’t think this through,” Gilda muttered under her breath as she let out a long and irritated sounding sigh. The beauty of the twilight sky above was dampened only by Gilda’s twisting belly as well as the whipping winter winds that bit right through her suit jacket and vest.

Gilda had never been one to wear dresses. She could dress feminine when she wanted, as made evident by the eyeliner and blush on her face, but dresses were almost always out of the question. Still, it was her stupid idea to go to a fancy resturant so she couldn’t just show up wearing similar get-up to how she had looked at the club a few nights prior. The fanciest outfit she had was this ill-fitting suit which clung to her body awkwardly. She had bulked up her muscles in the years since she had last worn it, and every little movement she made caused her to fear she might tear at the fabric. She was reminded of this every step she took, which probably was a sign that it was time to sit herself down and wait patiently.

However Gilda didn’t want to sit. She couldn’t keep herself still when she was nervous like this. She kept pacing in slow circles around the large fountain in the center of Canterlot listening to the heavy streams of water. Some kinda pony magic that she just went with allowed it to run year round without fear of freezing even in harsh cold weather like this. She had circled around the fountain so many times that she was surprised she hadn’t made a hole in the ground that went along her path.

It was getting harder and harder to remember that feeling she had when she had her one-on-one with Lost Way a few days prior. She had felt so confident and convinced that this was the right thing to do then, but as the hours ticked by and the inevitable date she had set up came closer she couldn’t help but wonder if she was fooling herself. The bowtie around her neck started to feel tighter, and suddenly Gilda felt like she was being choked.

“Uuuugh, this sucks,” Gilda quite literally shouted into the air as she cocked her head back and proceeded to let out the loudest groan she could muster. She cared not for the nearby ponies who were probably staring at her.

What she did care about however was the fact that she had just done this in front of…

“Am I that late?”

Gilda practically jumped out of her feathers at the sound of Crashing Thunder’s voice. Her tail shot straight up like a frightened house cat’s as she let out a shocked cry and nearly fell to the ground. She whipped her head to see Crash standing there staring at her looking mildly concerned. She felt a blush rise to her cheeks.

“O-Oh, hey, dude!” Gilda said. “I mean, Crash. Hey, Crash. No, I wasn’t yelling about you… Were you late?”

“By about five minutes,” Crash said with a shrug. He quickly glanced Gilda up and down before putting on a little smile. “You look good.”

“You think?” Gilda asked, and knew she sounded uncertain. “I hope you weren’t expecting me to wear a dress or anything. That kinda thing feels… weird on me.”

“I think this look suits you,” Crash said with a slight nod as he moved forward. “But uh, your bowtie’s kinda off.”

“Ugh,” Gilda groaned as she looked away. She knew just how crooked and awkward her bowtie looked, and was hoping that she had messed with it enough to where it wasn’t the VERY first thing Crash pointed out. “I don’t know how to tie the stupid thing, alright? I looked weird without it too so I… ugh…”

“Here,” Crash said with a small chuckle as he stepped forward. “Can I?”

“Uh, sure,” Gilda said.

Crash grabbed the ends of the bowtie and managed to undo the damage Gilda had caused. As he began to tighten it Gilda couldn’t help but stare down at the focused look in his eyes. She noticed that his hair was neater than usual, and he had the distinct scent of some kind of cologne.

“There,” Crash said. “Fixed it.”

“Thanks,” Gilda said as Crash backed away.

“Don’t feel bad,” Crash said. “I didn’t know how to tie one either until Lost showed me. He used to do it for me for all our blind dates before one day he got annoyed and forced me to learn.”

“Yeah, I’m not really… used to all this stuff,” Gilda said. “Fancy stuff, I mean.”

“We didn’t have to go someplace fancy,” Crash said with a slight frown. “We still don’t have to, y’know.”

“I know, I know,” Gilda said before shaking her head. “But I wanted to go someplace… I dunno, romantic? All the places I like to go are way too loud and it’s hard to hear somepony talk. Besides, I can’t get wasted if we’re someplace nice and do something dumb. Probably. Maybe.”

Crash chuckled, and that was enough to make Gilda smile. She always thought he had a cute laugh. It always reached his eyes and sounded genuine. She liked the rare moments when Crash came out of his shell and fought past his shyness to show her a genuine part of himself. Though she would be lying if she said she hated the way he was easy to make blush.

“Uh… We have some time before the reservation,” Crash said. “Wanna walk and talk a little? Or sit and talk?”

“Walk,” Gilda said instantly. “I think I’ll freeze my butthole off if we sit here for too long.”

“Ditto,” Crash said with a smile. “I could buy us some cocoa. There’s a coffee stand near here that me and Lost get sometimes when we’re out. I think it’ll still be open.”

“Chocolate and a way to warm up?” Gilda asked. “You sure know the way to a girl’s heart.”

Crash visibly looked a bit flustered at that, but tried to brush it off with a playful chuckle as he began to lead the way and walked forward. Gilda smirked and jogged up to walk beside him. Standing like this the two of them were practically the same height with Crash winning out only by the length of his ears atop his head.

The two of them spoke for a bit about meaningless topics ranging from their jobs to their plans for the upcoming days. It wasn’t until they arrived at the coffee vendor and Crash had paid for a couple mugs full of hot cocoa for the two of them that they paused under a streetlight to take a sip. By now the twilight sky had turned to dusk, and the stars were beginning to appear one by one in the sky.

“Mmm, this hits the spot,” Gilda said with a relieved sigh once the steamy cocoa touched her beak.

“Heh, glad you like it,” Crash said. “I was worried it’d be too sweet for you.”

“Hey, I can like sweet things sometimes,” Gilda said. “For example, I like your sappy ass.”

Crash snorted at that.

“What, hey, you were supposed to act embarrassed!” Gilda snapped, which only made Crash crack up more. Gilda let out a groan as she rolled her eyes.

“Sorry,” Crash said with a chuckle. “Just hearing you say something like that with a straight face is kinda funny.”

“Dork,” Gilda said before rolling her eyes and cracking a smile. “C’mon, I wanna stretch my legs before I have to act all prim and proper.”

Gilda led the way, which led to Crash trotting quickly to catch up to her. The streetlights and the illumination coming from the windows of the shops and restaurants soon became their only source of light as the stars began to show themselves one by one above. Gilda was halfway through her hot cocoa before she no longer felt all that bothered by the winds whipping at her body.

“So,” Gilda said. “It’s been about twenty minutes since we met up and you haven’t clamped up from embarrassment. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were getting used to being around me.”

“H-Hey,” Crash said, sounding a little taken aback. “I mean… It had to happen sooner or later, right? I couldn’t just shut down and have my brain short circuit every time I tried to talk with you one on one. I really don’t want a repeat of what happened at the club.”

Those words seemed to bring a hammer down on the conversation as both of them grew quiet. They walked in silence for a good thirty seconds before Crash let out a sigh.

“Sorry,” Crash said. “I didn’t mean to kill the mood.”

“No, no, it’s cool,” Gilda said as she waved her hand dismissively. “We had to talk about it eventually, right? At least without your boyfriend here, I mean. Better now than when some snobby waiter with a pencil mustache keeps interrupting us.”

“I guess,” Crash said with a slight shrug. “Me and Lost already talked about it a bunch. It helped me sort out what was messing with my head a bit. He’s really good at getting me to open up and realize why I’m panicking.”

“I’ve noticed,” Gilda said as she thought back to her own date with Lost Way.

“I think that night I just got scared when you kissed me,” Crash said. “Realizing that we weren’t just playing around and it might actually go somewhere… Suddenly the thought of hurting you or Lost made me panic. I feel stupid that I didn’t think about it that hard before and let it just hit me right then and there. I felt like I was treating you more like some kinda experiment to see how it worked but then all of a sudden it hit me. You could seriously get hurt if I did something wrong or didn’t take it seriously… that just scared me, I guess.”

The way Crash spoke was slow and introspective. He had clearly been sitting on these thoughts in his head for some time. He looked down at his hooves as he kept walking with a slight frown on his face.

“You know,” Gilda said. “You’re one of the nicest ponies I know.”

“Huh?” Crash looked up and over to Gilda, who suddenly felt her chest tighten at the sight of his wide blue eyes.

“Y-You know,” Gilda said before glancing away. “I keep telling you I’m not used to creatures trying so hard to keep me around. When I try to push them away they usually just let me. You weren’t the only one scared that you might end up hurting somepony.”

“Gilda…”

“My jealousy sucks,” Gilda said. “Even knowing it’s part of me that I don’t like I can’t just turn it off. I keep telling myself I’m okay but in the back of my head I just… I just have this nagging fear that suddenly I won’t be okay with you and Lost. That you’ll give him too much attention instead of me and I’ll turn back into that bitch.”

“Lost Way told me about your friend,” Crash said.

“Rainbow?” Gilda asked.

“I hope that’s okay,” Crash said as he nodded his head.

“Naw, it’s fine,” Gilda said. “I hate explaining myself again and again. Thank Celestia your herd isn’t bigger cause I’d be really sick of this if I had to go through a few more creatures.”

That was enough to make Crash chuckle, which in turn brightened up Gilda’s mood a little bit.

“I wouldn’t hold it against you though,” Crash said.

“Hold what?” Gilda asked.

“If you got jealous,” Crash said. “This herd thing isn’t for everypony. I had my crisis at the club thinking I was wrong about it being for ME, and I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember. I know it’s not easy thinking of somepony you love with another.”

“Oh, so you love me now?” Gilda asked.

“I…” Crash instantly blushed and looked down at the ground. “That’s not what I…”

Gilda started to crack up. She loved watching Crash squirm when she teased him. It made the tense feeling in her chest loosen up the tiniest bit. She reached out her fist and nudged Crash on his shoulder with it.

“I’m just kidding, dork,” Gilda said.

“You and Lost are really good at that, yeah,” Crash said softly.

“I get what you mean, though,” Gilda said. “Lost and I talked about it a little. I think I get it a bit more now. Different partners serve different needs or whatever. How I’d feel about one of you wouldn’t change how I feel about another. Y’know, if I actually decided to do this whole herd thing with you nerds.”

Crash looked over at Gilda, and the gryphon realized it was her turn to feel embarrassed. She felt her cheeks flush but she refused to look away as their eyes met.

“Can I ask one question, though?” Gilda asked.

“Sure,” Crash said.

“Why’d you pick me, anyway?” Gilda said. “I know Lost or whatever’s the one who made the first move for you two but he obviously did it cause he knew you thought some way about me.”

“I uh…” Crash started, but then paused. “It’s a little embarrassing.”

“Oh, and me talking about my rampant jealousy issues isn’t?” Gilda asked.

“No, no, it’s just…” Crash bit his lip briefly before taking in a long breath of air. “I guess I just admired you a lot. Looking at you from the outside you’re kind of like how I always wanted to be. You always seem so confident and strong, but you were still nice to me and Lost when we hung out at the gym. When I got to know you more this past week I only felt stronger about those feelings. You’re actually… better than I thought you might be.”

Gilda paused and stared at Crash who was looking down at his hooves. The two of them had stopped walking and were standing directly under the light of a lamp post. Crash glanced over looking sheepish but still confident in his words.

“Guess I screwed up that perfect image at the club, huh?” Gilda asked.

“No, not really,” Crash said. “If anything it made you feel more… real. It’s not as scary to talk to you like this anymore. I feel like I understand you more. I like you for you, Gilda, flaws and all.”

Gilda blinked and stared at Crash. It took Crash a moment to look over at her and then suddenly look sheepish.

“Wh-What are you staring at?” Crash asked.

“Nothing,” Gilda said. “You just… you can be weirdly romantic when you don’t mean to be.”

“Lost says that too,” Crash said softly, clearly embarrassed by what he had said. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get sappy like that.”

“Heh, I’m starting to like sappy,” Gilda said before gently punching Crash’s shoulder once again. “Hey, don’t you think we should be heading to that restaurant sometime soon? What time’s our reservation?”

“Ah!” Crash let out a loud gasp as he looked up to the sky. “Crap! You’re right, we should really get moving!”

Crash began to move, but before he could take so much as a step Gilda reached out and grabbed him by the foreleg. He paused and looked down before looking up with a puzzled expression.

“What is it?” Crash asked.

“Nothing,” Gilda said. “Just… Thanks for trying so hard on me, Crash.”

Crash paused, and then chuckled softly.

“No problem,” Crash said with a smile kind enough to make Gilda’s chest feel tight.

“Okay, now let’s go,” Gilda said before moving forward and grabbing Crash’s foreleg once more to drag him along.

—————————————————————————————————

Surprisingly the two of them made it to the restaurant with time to spare. They had opted to fly, which saved them some time. However Crash was keenly aware doing so had messed up his combed mane and ruffled his suit jacket a bit. However for once Crash wasn’t overly obsessed with how he was presenting himself. By the time the two of them were at the table and well into their meal he had all but forgotten just how nervous the idea of this date had made him feel earlier.

“Celestia, say what you want about those hoity toity ponies,” Gilda said as she took a sip of her dark red wine. “But they sure as heck have good taste in wine.”

“It better be for that price,” Crash said.

The two of them had managed to have a downright delightful dinner so far. As soon as Crash had sat himself down at his table across from Gilda he had forgotten just how out of place he felt in the environment. He and Gilda talked with ease to the point there was hardly a lull in conversation save for when one of them wanted to take a bite of food or a sip of their drinks. Gilda told stories of her time as a kid in flight school and her temporary gig working on the weather around Canterlot. Crash talked about his job with the royal guards and shared stories of how Lost Way used to get the two of them in trouble by pushing Crash to do things he would have never done without encouragement.

Gilda was busy laughing at a story Crash had just finished telling, and was loud enough for a few of the other patrons to glance at their table. She tried to stifle herself but it was no use. Crash was trying his best not to crack up as well. Both the wine and Gilda’s laughter were equal catalysts for him to join in.

The sound of a small group of musicians rang just above the sounds of the chatter filling the restaurant. A violin sung while a piano played a melody in sync. It was pleasant. Crash had never taken the time on all his other dates in places like this to really appreciate the atmosphere, as he had always been too nervous and self conscious.

“This isn’t half bad,” Crash said as he swirled around the wine in his glass. “I guess I finally get why ponies like high end places like this.”

“If you ask me it could use a bit harder booze,” Gilda said. “Maybe some rave lights.”

“Yeah, the lack of any blackout drunk ponies puking on the dance floor really brings down the place,” Crash said.

“Shut up,” Gilda said before snickering. “I won’t lie though… I’m not as miserable here as I thought I’d be.”

“It’s probably because we’ve gone through almost two bottles of wine,” Crash said.

“Well, that and decent company,” Gilda said.

Crash couldn’t help but smile at that.

“I dunno about you,” Gilda said as she sat back and pushed forward her near empty plate a few inches. “But I’m stuffed.”

“You wanna head out?” Crash asked.

“Yeah, I think if I stick around here any longer I might get one of those dumb accents,” Gilda said. “That or I’ll stop finding that waiter’s tiny moustache funny, and that’d just be a travesty.”

It wasn’t long before Crash managed to call over the waiter to get the check. He insisted to Gilda that he be the one to pay for it, but in return she demanded to be the one to leave a tip. She practically demanded a to-go box to stuff the rest of their complimentary bread into before they got up to leave, and looked quite pleased with herself when she managed to squeeze every piece into the tiny tub.

By the time the two got outside it had chilled considerably. It seemed neither of them wanted the date to end quite yet, so they quietly walked around the side of the restaurant and through the outdoor seating area that was closed for the winter. They were close to the musicians in the restaurant, and from just outside the window were able to hear them even better than before. They found a small bench that hadn’t been covered in snow and sat on it together and stared into the busy restaurant through the windows.

“This was nice,” Gilda said. “I dunno if I’ve ever actually had a proper date like this.”

“Do you think this makes up for the club yet?” Crash asked.

“Totally,” Gilda said. “But next time let’s just get junk food and see a movie or something. I dunno if I can handle another night trying not to laugh at the uppity ponies here.”

Silently Gilda leaned up against Crash, and even grabbed his foreleg and hugged it gently. Crash could feel his body tense, but not in a bad way. He could smell a light tinge of perfume on her feathers that he hadn’t noticed before.

“I honestly never saw myself doing this much just for some guy,” Gilda said softly. She ran her talons gently up and down Crash’s foreleg.

“Doing what?” Crash asked as he tried to control his pounding chest.

“Dressing up and going someplace nice,” Gilda said. “Much less enjoying it. I dunno, most guys and gals I go out with don’t take things as seriously as this. I never thought I’d say this but… it’s nice to be treated like this. Romantically, I mean.

Crash chuckled softly. It was clear Gilda wasn’t used to putting her feelings into words like this. Gilda stayed silent for a few moments before picking herself up off of Crash’s body. She stared down at the ground with a slight frown.

“I know it’s dumb to say,” Gilda said. “But I really feel like you and Lost Way helped me grow. I thought I had to just deal with all my flaws on my own before you two. I really didn’t take the idea of the whole herd thing seriously until… well, until after the club I guess.”

“I don’t think that’s dumb,” Crash said. “That’s what I’ve always wanted a herd to be. Caring about and helping each other. I care about you not because I think you’re some perfect gryphon or anything, but because you’re you.”

“Heh, care about me?” Gilda asked. She looked over to Crash with a cocky grin.

Crash felt his cheeks blush, but for once he bit his tongue and demanded he not take it back.

“Yeah,” Crash said. “I really care about you, Gilda. I… I really think you’d be great for the herd.”

Gilda’s eyes widened slightly upon realizing her usual teasing wasn’t working. It was her turn to blush now as she looked down.

“Y-You don’t have to decide on anything right now,” Crash said quickly once a few moments of silence passed. “I just… I want you to know I think that I’m done with seeing how this goes. I don’t want just anypony to join me and Lost, I want you.”

“Jeez,” Gilda said. “There you go again being all romantic.”

Gilda smiled softly while still glancing down at the snow. Behind the windows the current song came to a halt and a new one began a few moments later. This one was slower, and the sort of thing Crash expected to hear at a ball at the castle. Gilda glanced up in the direction of the musicians.

“Hey,” Gilda said. “There is one little thing I wanna make up before tonight’s over.”

“Yeah?” Crash asked. “What’s that?”

“I wanna dance,” Gilda said.

“H-Huh?” Crash asked, and felt his heart pound in his chest.

Gilda stood up and turned around before extending her hand toward Crash.

“Don’t be a wuss,” Gilda said. “I’ve never done any kinda slow dance with a stud like you before. C’mooon, the music’s perfect!”

Crash stared at the extended talons for a second. His belly twisted a bit with nerves, but when he looked up to Gilda and saw her smiling face he couldn’t help but suddenly feel like everything was going to be okay. He gingerly extended his hoof and was quickly pulled up off of the bench and closer to a small clearing. Gilda pulled him close.

“I uh…” Crash said. “The only time I’ve ever slow danced was with a mare in middle school.”

“Yeah, and how’d that go?” Gilda asked.

“Not great,” Crash said. “I kicked her shins cause I was so much bigger than her and didn't know how to lead.”

“Well good for you I know how to lead,” Gilda said. She extended her head and pressed her cheek gently against Crash’s own. Crash wondered if she could feel the warmth on his face from his blush.

Gilda moved slowly, and tugged at Crash gently to follow along. He mostly stared down at his hooves to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid and step on her talons. He was a bit behind in her movements, and nearly stumbled trying to catch up. She lifted one of her hands and gently stroked the side of his neck where her face wasn’t.

“You’re tense,” Gilda teased. “Just close your eyes and listen to the music.”

“B-But I…”

“I’ll guide you,” Gilda said. “Don’t worry about it.”

Crash bit gently on the inside of his cheek. After a moment he shut his eyes and put his faith into Gilda. The sound of a violin rang out, and suddenly very little existed aside from the music and the warmth of Gilda’s body pressing up against him.

One step. Two steps. Three steps. Four steps. Crash moved slowly and allowed Gilda to pull him along. He allowed his face to gently graze against her feathery neck. As he breathed in he couldn’t help but notice just how familiar her scent had become, even under the perfume. It calmed him.

The two danced slowly. It was one of the most basic slow dances two creatures could do, but that didn’t really matter. Crash stopped thinking about how his hooves moved and began to think more about how soft Gilda’s feathers were and how much he liked the smell of her perfume. She was so warm, and it made his chest feel the same. Her talons squeezed around his hoof and pulled him along, and the two simply swayed with each step.

For those few minutes nothing else in Equestria seemed to matter. Nothing mattered except the two of them and the sound of the beautiful music. Crash forgot about the chill of the wind and the worries of the herd. He cared only for Gilda and that simple dance that they were sharing. As the music came to an end he slowly opened his eyes and pulled his cheek off of Gilda’s own. They stared into each other’s eyes.

Something about that moment just… felt right.

Crash leaned in and pressed his lips gently against Gilda’s beak. She gave a small sound of surprise, but very quickly relaxed. Kissing a beak was far different from kissing Lost’s muzzle. It was hard instead of soft, but not unpleasant. Something about it felt just as right as when he kissed Lost, but for entirely different reasons. He pulled away slowly, and the two’s eyes lingered.

“Was that… okay?” Crash asked.

“Huh?” Gilda asked.

“That’s only my second time kissing a beak,” Crash said sheepishly. “Did I do it okay?”

Gilda cracked up. Then she laughed. Then she struggled to contain herself as Crash stood there blushing.

“It was fine, you dork!” Gilda said before raising her talons and placing them on either side of Crash’s cheeks. “Goddamn you’re so freaking cute.”

Gilda leaned in and this time kissed Crash. It was far more passionate and forceful than Crash’s had been, but not unpleasant. She took control of the moment as lips and beak locked. Crash could feel his heart pound in his chest harder than ever. He lifted his own forelegs and wrapped them around Gilda’s neck and held her like that for the remainder of the kiss. Her body in his forelegs for so right. Everything about this felt natural and like it was always meant to be.

The two stood there in the snow, and kissed to the sound of beautiful music. Time seemed to slow down just for them to the point Crash was unsure how long they had been sitting there.

One thing he knew for sure was that he didn’t want this moment to end, and he wanted Gilda to be a part of his life forever from that moment on. He could only hope she was feeling the same.