Cracking A Herd

The weight of Crash’s body on top of Lost Way was always enough to make him at the very least blush. A day off for the two usually meant that they would be sleeping in, but this morning the two happened to wake up before even the first sliver of sunshine had ripped through their window and poured light onto their bedroom floor. Lost had been lying in bed trying to work up the nerve to get up when he heard Crash reenter the room. His wet mane told Lost he had just gotten out of the shower.

“Hey cutie,” Crash said as he climbed on top of the bed and laid his body on top of Lost Way’s own. His weight from his sheer size was intense, but in a way Lost Way didn’t mind being crushed by his partner. The pegasus lowered his lips and tried to press them against Lost Way’s lips but the zebra turned his head last second so they only landed on his cheek.

“Ugh, babe, you really don’t wanna kiss me,” Lost Way said with a drowsy giggle. “I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.”

“I always wanna kiss you,” Crash said. “Even if your breath is gross.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you were into that,” Lost Way said. “I’m dating a gross pony, huh?”

“Oh, shut up,” Crash replied with a giggle before he took Lost Way’s head in his hooves and forced a big kiss right against the zebra’s lips. Lost Way was giggling as they parted, and Crash was already lowering his mouth to begin spreading pecks against Lost Way’s neck.

“Hehe, somebody’s in a mood,” Lost Way said. He could feel Crash’s legs open up on his lower body and felt the sensation of something warm and hard flop down in between Lost Way’s legs.

“Mmm, I can’t help it,” Crash said. His breath was warm and trailed down Lost Way’s body over his chest. “You just looked so cute laying there with your mane all messy. Plus your face looks just, like, entirely kissable.”

“Oh my god you’re such a dork,” Lost Way said with a laugh of his own. “I swear you’re like a big dog who wants attention sometimes!”

“Woof?” Crash asked as he began to grind his half hard cock between Lost Way’s legs. “Woof woof?”

“Down boy, down!” Lost Way laughed before suddenly he lifted his forelegs and wrapped them around Crash’s body. They connected lips again as the zebra felt Crash begin to squeeze his legs around Lost Way’s lower body and press them closer together. Now that Lost Way was getting excited their cocks began to press up against each other. As they parted lips for a quick breath of air Lost couldn’t help but let out a quick moan.

“Oh, wow, now that’s a view,” A voice that didn’t belong to either Crash or Lost Way said.

Both boys let out a shriek of fear, and instantly the magic of the moment was gone and replaced with blind panic. Crash flung himself right off of Lost Way and ended up tumbling out of the bed with a loud thud. Lost Way sat up quickly only to see the sight of a familiar gryphon standing in their doorway clearly trying her best not to laugh her ass off.

“Gilda?” Lost Way asked as he sat up and covered himself with the blanket.

“Sorry, sorry, I knew I shoulda knocked,” Gilda said as she covered her eyes and looked away. “I seriously thought you two would be dead asleep, though!”

“Ow,” Crash whined as he sat up and shut his legs together and rubbed his head. There was a deep blush on his face. “No… We gave you that house key for a reason.”

“Hey, you okay?” Gilda asked as she stepped into the room towards Crash. In response Crash could only panic and grab at a nearby sheet to cover himself up. “You didn’t get a concussion from me, did ya?”

“I’ll be fine,” Crash said a bit sheepishly. He was unable to meet Gilda’s eye, but at the very least he was able to talk instead of clamming up entirely. “What’re you doing here so early, though?”

It had been about three weeks since Crash and Gilda had their big date together. Things had been going smoothly since then. They had met up to hang out at least three times a week, and even on their off days they usually ran into each other at the gym. It was the last time they visited each other that Crash and Lost had come to the decision to entrust Gilda with a key to their home to show she was always welcome to drop by.

“Ugh, my place sucks,” Gilda said with a roll of her eyes. “The water heater is busted and I really don’t wanna have to ask my creepy landlord to fix it.”

“Creepy?” Lost Way asked.

“It’s no big deal,” Gilda said with a shrug. “He just always makes these gross comments whenever he sees me. I could totally kick his ass though if he tried anything…. So is it cool if I shower?”

“Oh, right, go ahead,” Lost Way said.

“Thanks,” Gilda said with a mock salute. “I’ll let you two finish whatever you were doing.”

“Very funny,” Crash said from the floor as he slowly got up to his feet and shook his head. “I think the moment’s passed.”

“Aww, and it was a pretty hot show,” Gilda said before rolling her eyes and snickering to herself. “I was hoping for an encore.”

Crash blushed at that, and wasn’t able to think of any proper response before Gilda turned and made her way toward the shower. Within moments the bathroom door was closed and the sound of running water filled the room. Crash let out a big sigh and laid his upper body down on the bed and put his head in Lost Way’s lap.

“Sorry, hon,” Crash said.

“Hey, it wasn’t your fault,” Lost Way said as he reached down his hoof and brushed aside some of Crash’s mane so he could see his lover’s blue eyes. “Besides, it was bound to happen sooner or later after we gave Gilda that key. We DID tell her she can come unannounced any time.”

“True,” Crash said with a slight sigh as he lifted his head and glanced up to Lost Way. “That stuff about her landlord… You think it’s that bad?”

“What, that he’s a creep?” Lost Way asked. “I wouldn’t doubt it. A lot of stallions are creeps. That said, I'm also kind of struggling to think of any stallion that wouldn’t get their butt kicked if they crossed a line with Gilda.”

“Still,” Crash mumbled to himself as he glanced toward the shower. “She shouldn’t have to put up with that.”

“Heh, trying to be her knight in shining armor?” Lost Way asked. “She’d probably call you a dork.”

“I-I’m just worried about her,” Crash said a bit defensively as he looked up at Lost Way. “I know she can take care of herself, but I mean… we are dating her. Isn’t that what boyfriends are supposed to do?”

“We’re her boyfriends now?” Lost Way asked with a raised brow.

“Is… Is there a difference between dating and being a boyfriend?” Crash asked. He looked down with a hint of embarrassment again.

“Heh, trust me,” Lost Way said. “There’s a difference. Though I’d say we’re far closer to boyfriend than casual dating since we gave her our freaking house key.”

“Okay, so, regardless,” Crash said. “If that guy is really a creep…”

“Hmm,” Lost Way pondered for a moment as he continued to stroke Crash’s mane. “Let’s ask her about it once she’s out of the shower. How about I make us some breakfast.”

“Alright,” Crash said. It seemed almost difficult for him to pull his eyes away from the bathroom door. “In that case I’ll make us all some coffee. Not that I really need to be woken up anymore after Gilda saw us.”

Together both Lost Way and Crash went about their usual morning routine. Crash had gotten the coffee maker set up and Lost Way was halfway through frying up some hay bacon strips by the time the shower stopped and Gilda came waltzing out of the bathroom. Her feathers were damp and stuck to her skin as she tried her best to dry herself off with a large and fluffy towel.

“Oooh, something smells real good,” Gilda said. “Heh, I wasn’t expecting breakfast when I came over this early.”

“Nopony said we were bad house guests,” Lost Way commented as he opened the fridge. He was about to reach in and grab a few eggs to fry up in the pan when he suddenly hesitated. “Um… Gilds?”

“Yeah?” Gilda asked. “What’s up?”

“Is it… Do Gryphons eat eggs?” Lost Way asked.

“Um, yeah?” Gilda said. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“Don’t you like… hatch?” Lost Way questioned. “When you’re born, I mean.”

“There’s a difference between gryphon eggs and chicken eggs, birdbrain!” Gilda snapped. “Snakes eat eggs too, y’know!”

“Do snakes hatch?” Crash asked.

“Of course they freaking hatch!” Gilda said before planting her talons against her face in a facepalm. “They’re reptiles! Oh my gosh I’m dating idiots.”

“Okay, okay, I was just checking!” Lost Way said defensively as he grabbed six eggs from the fridge.

That was enough to cause Crash to start breaking up, and in a rare occurrence it was Lost Way who blushed in response to the comments. Soon enough Gilda started laughing as well.

Crash made sure Gilda got the first cup of coffee, which was black just how she liked it. As she took it she thanked Crash with a kiss on his cheek and moved over to the breakfast counter where she sat down and let out a long sigh.

“You good?” Crash asked as he poured himself his own cup and stood opposite Gilda on the other side of the counter.

“Yeah,” Gilda said. “Thanks for the shower, guys. I really needed it. Normally I wouldn’t hate a cold shower but my place is freezing.”

“Your heat doesn’t work either?” Lost Way asked as he was sliding the last of the eggs and hay bacon from the pan onto a plate and carried it over to the counter.

“No, it works,” Gilda said as she lifted her talons into the air to put quotation marks around the word ‘works’. “It just sucks ass and doesn’t keep the place all that warm. I mean I don’t really mind most of the time since y’know, us gryphons are built to fly in the cold ass sky and all. But when I’m soaking wet from a shower I’m basically a gryphon popsicle till I dry off.”

“You never mentioned it was that bad before,” Lost Way said as he pushed one of the plates over toward Gilda who picked up one of the strips of hay bacon and began to chew on it.

“Well, I guess I’m not there much,” Gilda said. “I’m usually either working or at the gym or hanging out with you guys recently. I kinda just go there to sleep. Stuff like the hot water is busted all the time, though. Normally I just go to the gym to do my stuff but since you guys gave me your key…”

“No, no, I’m glad you came,” Crash said as he shook his head. “But… Is that really the best place you can afford to live?”

“I dunno,” Gilda said as she shrugged. “It’s cheap. I like cheap. The Gryphon Kingdom ain’t exactly a five star luxury resort, y’know. Most of the houses there have big holes in them in the roofs so we can fly in from our nests. It doesn’t really get cold like it does here, though, I guess.”

Gilda frowned slightly as she chewed on her bacon and sipped her coffee. When she wasn’t looking, both Lost Way and Crash exchanged a look.

“And your landlord?” Lost Way asked.

“Ugh,” Gilda said. “I don’t wanna talk about him… He’s an annoying little runt who treats me like some kinda exotic dish he’s never tried or something. I keep telling him I’m not interested but he never gets the hint.”

“You don’t feel like he’s dangerous, do you?” Crash asked.

“Huh?” Gilda asked. “No way. Guy’s a runt and I could knock him out in seconds if he tried something… though I guess that’d also leave me without a place to sleep if he gets pissed enough…”

Gilda frowned as she looked down into her steaming mug of coffee.

“Hey, what’re you guys asking all this for?” Gilda asked. “This conversation kinda blows.”

“Sorry,” Crash said. “I’m just worried, I guess.”

“What, you don’t think I can take care of myself?” Gilda asked.

“N-No!” Crash stammered quickly as a blush crossed his cheeks. “I didn’t mean it like that! I-I know you can, I just…”

Gilda started laughing which made Crash instantly clam up.

“I’m joking, you dork,” Gilda said as she stood up and moved around the table to quickly give Crash another peck on his cheek. “It’s sweet that you two care. I’ll just suck it up and ask him to fix my water, though. He’s too damn meekly to try anything other than a gross comment or two.”

“Can I… Can I at least come with you?” Crash asked.

“Uh…” Gilda said, and then suddenly glanced away. “To my place? I mean… It’s kind of a dump compared to here.”

“Do I seem like the kind of pony to judge?” Crash asked.

“I guess,” Gilda said, and frowned slightly.

“I could come along too,” Lost Way said. “Neither of us work today. I mean, it could be a good herd building exercise… or something.”

“Yeah, sure,” Gilda said before she rolled her eyes. “Look I won’t stop you two but I really don’t see the point. I can deal with it on my own.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to do it on your own,” Crash said as he reached out his hoof and touched one of Gilda’s talons. “That’s the point of us being in this herd, right?”

Gilda looked down at her talon for a moment with a thoughtful expression. She eventually smirked and shook her head side to side and began to chuckle.

“I forgot you were a dork,” Gilda said. “Sure, let’s head over once we’re done with breakfast.”

——————————————————————————————

Gilda’s place was relatively far from Crash and Lost Way’s own home. It was on the outskirts of Canterlot far from where the upper class elite liked to live, and more so home to a series of hotels for visitors and a few scattered apartments for those who couldn’t afford the more wealthy homes in the area. By flight it was only about ten minutes, but due to the fact that Lost Way was the only one of the three not to have wings they had to make the forty-five minute walk on their own.

Truth be told the fresh air felt good filling up Crashing Thunder’s lungs. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been out for just a simple stroll this early. Normally he was in a hurry on his way to work and didn’t have time to just take it easy. It was a bit warmer than it had been in the previous weeks, and most of the snow had melted save for some piles that remained on the sides of the street from where they had been pushed aside to clear the road from before. Lost Way looked happy to simply wear a pastel pink scarf as opposed to having to jam his body up against Crash’s just to remain warm.

“I’m telling you, my place isn’t great,” Gilda said. It had been the third time she reminded both boys of this since they left.

“You keep saying that,” Crash said. “And I keep saying I really don’t care. I don’t judge.”

“I know, I know,” Gilda said with a groan. “Just that your guys’ place is so nice. I kinda just rented it cause I wasn’t sure how long I was gonna be sticking around when I first came to town.”

“Can’t look any worse than me and Crash’s first rental when we moved out of our parents’ houses,” Lost Way said. “I don’t think either of us knew how to clean a toilet for like… half a year.”

“Ugh, gross,” Gilda said.

“Well we do now!” Lost Way said.

Crash chuckled at that, and so did Gilda. Lost Way simply scoffed and rolled his eyes before flipping an end of his scarf around his neck.

“Okay, I’ll stop mentioning how bad it looks,” Gilda said. “But if either of you make fun of it I’m not afraid to punch you. I don’t give a damn if you two ARE Royal Guards.”

It wasn’t long after that when the three of them strolled up to the apartment building. It was small, and only looked to house about ten units at most. The bricks were discolored with age and the wood stairway looked to be just as ancient. There was a walkway up top that had each of the doors of the units.

“My place is on the second floor,” Gilda said, and nodded toward the stairway. “One at the end down there.”

The stairway creaked as the three ascended it. Gilda fished for her keys as they approached the door and jammed them inside. She rattled the knob and pushed only for it to not give way. She let out a slight grunt and had to try a few more times before it finally opened up.

“Damn door’s crooked,” Gilda grumbled.

The inside of the place was small to say the least. Everything inside from the living room to the kitchen seemed bunched together in one tiny box. The only thing saving it from being labeled a studio apartment was a wall that separated the entrance to the bedroom. The sink was filled with dishes that were awaiting a wash, and one of the lights overhead flickered three times before it fully turned on.

There really wasn’t much furniture to speak of. There was a small couch that looked like it had been bought third handed with a coffee table in front of it that houses an old cider bottle that Gilda swiftly picked up and tossed into the garbage as she walked into the room. Other than that there was a stack of books on the floor with no shelf to speak of. By the looks of it most of the books were related to sporting events, namely racing. However what did catch Crash’s eye was a couple of novels that seemed to be romance related judging by the studly stallions and beautiful mares drawn provocatively on the covers.

“What?” Gilda asked when she caught Crash staring. “I gotta get my rocks off somehow.”

“Never took you for a… romance novel reader,” Crash said.

“I like some buildup in my porn!” Gilda replied. “Jeez!”

“Oh my gosh,” Lost Way said before giggling as he went over and picked up one of the books. It had two stallions on the front both of which had equal muscle mass and chiseled jaws seemingly sculpted to perfection. “Oh, hey, I think I read this one! Wait, is this a sequel? Oh my gosh!”

“Ugh, anyway,” Gilda said before rolling her eyes and letting out a sigh. “Here’s the place. Again I only really sleep here so I don’t really buy much to snazz up the place at all. It’s kinda cramped for one gryphon, much less all three of us.”

Lost Way was already distracted with the book in his hooves and gravitated over to the couch to sit down as he opened it to a random page. A blush went across his face as his eyes widened.

“Oh, my,” Lost said softly.

“So, uh, your room?” Crash asked. “If you don’t mind showing me.”

“Eh, why not?” Gilda said before nodding her head for Crash to follow.

The one bedroom was about half the size of the living room. As Gilda moved toward the window to open the blinds and shed light into the room Crash was surprised not to find a bed, but a large mound of blankets and pillows all shaped to form a nest in the corner of the room. There appeared to be several layers of bed padding to make up sort of a makeshift mattress in the center of it.

“That’s different,” Crash said with a chuckle of amusement.

“Yeaaaah, it’s a gryphon thing,” Gilda said as she rubbed the feathers behind her head with one of her talons. “Back in the Gryphon Kingdom we usually build them ourselves out of whatever we can find and cover them with padding after to make them comfortable. I kinda had to improvise since the ponies around here don’t really like it if you start stealing branches from trees and whatnot.”

“That’s actually cool,” Crash said as he approached the nest. It certainly was the size of a bed. It had to be at least similar to a queen sized if he were to use his own bed back home as a comparison. “Is it comfy?”

“Heh, why not test it out?” Gilda said.

Crash smiled as he slowly got into the nest. It was firmer on the center yet soft on the outside. It seemed like anywhere along the edges was a good enough place to lay down his head. It was actually pretty nice.

“This feels good,” Crash said as he shut his eyes.

“Well duh,” Gilda said. “You think I can look this good without proper beauty sleep? Gimmie some credit. Gryphons learn how to make their own nests before they’re potty trained!”

Gilda laughed as she herself crawled into the nest next to Crash and laid down on her belly. She resembled that of a cat in the way she was seated with her limbs all close to her body and her taloned hands crossed.

“This might be my first time…” Crash said aloud without thinking.

“Huh?” Gilda asked. “First time doing what?”

“Uh… Being in a girls room,” Crash said before realizing how dorky that sounded. He proceeded to blush and then looked away.

“Seriously?” Gilda asked.

“You already knew you were my first kiss with a girl,” Crash said. “Why’s that part surprising?”

“I dunno,” Gilda said with a shrug. “But if it makes you feel better, this is probably the first time a guy’s been in my room since I came to Canterlot.”

“Really?” Crash asked.

“Actually the last time I had a guy in my room was probably when I was a teenager still living with my mom,” Gilda said with a playful snort of laughter.

“Was she strict about that stuff?” Crash asked.

“Naw, not really,” Gilda said. “She was a cool mom. The kind who always said if I was gonna be doing drugs or having sex I should tell her so she could make sure I was safe. I think she realized I was the kinda kid who’d rebel if she tried to keep me on a leash so she just always made sure to steer me in the right direction instead of outright controlling me. She had me when she was pretty young, so I think she was still young enough to remember what it was like to be a teen.”

“Where does she live now?” Crash asked.

“Uh…” Gilda paused and looked away with a slight frown. “Somewhere in a cemetery in Gryphonstone?”

“Crap,” Crash said as he sat up. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Gilda said as she shook her head. “It happened years ago. She was pretty sick. I had plenty of time to say goodbye and do all that other sappy stuff. Honestly when she finally passed I was just more relieved that she wouldn’t be in any more pain. She was still cracking jokes and stuff right up till she died, though.”

Gilda smiled, but it was a somber sort where her eyes were lost in the memory. Crash frowned as he reached out his hoof and gently touched it to Gilda’s cheek.

“Sorry,” Crash said again. “I don’t really know what it’s like to lose somepony like that.”

“Hey, don’t worry,” Gilda said as she reached up to grab Crash’s hoof and lowered it. She continued to cling onto it and offered it a gentle squeeze. “I dunno where all that came from, honestly. I don’t really remember the last time I talked about her with some other creature. It kinda felt nice.”

There was a sense of genuineness behind her words. Gilda smiled and Crash could see that it reached her eyes. The two gazed at each other for a few moments before eventually Gilda leaned in and pressed her beak right up to Crash’s lips.

Crash was keenly aware this was something he used to dream about. Sitting alone with a girl he found beautiful in her room kissing her on her bed. In many ways it felt like a fantasy come true, but it was also so much better given that it wasn’t just some random filly. It was Gilda. It was a gryphon he cared about dearly. She leaned in and even began to roll on top of Crash. Her arms went around Crash’s body as they parted their kiss and she settled her head down against his neck. They cuddled silently for several moments.

After a bit Crash began to feel a light vibrating sensation come from Gilda’s neck. He heard it too. It was steady and consistent, and not to mention loud.

“Are… Are you purring?” Crash asked.

“Shut up,” Gilda said. “I’m happy, you dork.”

“I-I just didn’t know gryphons could purr,” Crash said as a blush crept across his face.

“I didn’t know a pegasus could be such a good kisser when he hasn’t even been in a girl’s room before,” Gilda said. “We all learn fun things every day.”

The two of them laid there in the nest simply embracing one another and relaxing. Crash closed his eyes and lifted one of his forelegs to put around Gilda’s back and began to gently rub up and down between the wings on her back. This was a moment that he wanted to last.

Which was probably why the universe decided that now was the appropriate time to knock on the door. Even in the bedroom the walls were so thin that it startled Crash enough to cause him to jolt up.

“Uuuggggh,” Gilda let out a groan as she rolled over onto her side. “That’s probably my shitlord.”

“We haven’t even gone to see him yet,” Crash said in confusion.

“I may or may not have slipped a letter under his door before I left,” Gilda said. “Asshole probably just woke up and read it. Ugh, let’s get this over with.”

The two exited the bedroom, and Lost Way was still laying on the couch with the book in his hooves. He was at least twenty or so pages deep into it and laid it down against his chest when the knock occurred.

“I’ll deal with it,” Gilda said. “You two wait here. I’ll talk to him outside.”

“You sure?” Crash asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a big girl,” Gilda said with a smirk before lifting her tail and flicking it over Crash’s nose. “Just hold tight.”

Crash couldn’t help but worry as he made his way over to the couch to sit down next to Lost Way. Gilda opened the door and on the other side was a unicorn about the size of Lost Way with a brown coat and black mane. He looked to be at least twice Gilda’s age.

“Well hello there, beautiful,” The pony said in a tone that made Crash’s belly turn.

“Hey, Lodge,” Gilda said. “You get my note?”

Gilda closed the door behind her to make sure that it separated Crash and Lost from her and the Landlord. Through the curtain on the window Crash could see their shadows.

“So what, did you two make out in there?” Lost Way asked as soon as the door shut. “You were gone awhile.”

“What do you think?” Crash asked before reaching over and tossling Lost Way’s mane with his hoof. “I had to do something while you were snooping through her porn.”

“I’ll have you know this series is very romantic and thought provoking!” Lost Way said with a huff. “It also has really hot sex, yes… But it doesn’t get started till like chapter five.”

Crash chuckled as he glanced back over to the shadows. He could hear mumbling sounds but couldn’t quite make out words.

“That guy seem like a weirdo to you?” Crash asked.

“From the, what, three words he said?” Lost Way asked. “Kinda weird he called her beautiful like that but I dunno? I believe her when she says he’s a creep. Why, you wanna eavesdrop?”

“That’s… That would be rude,” Crash said before blushing softly.

“Oh, please,” Lost Way said before hopping off the couch and moving over closer to the window. He very gingerly reached his hoof past the curtain and tugged up the window. Suddenly the sounds of the twos voices were much clearer.

“Lost!” Crash hissed as he moved forward to tug the curtain back.

“What?” Lost Way asked. “I know you were dying to hear.”

“Keep your voice down!” Crash said.

The two stallions remained silent as they huddled together on the other side of the curtain. Crash couldn’t shake the feeling in his belly that he only got when he was worried.

“Look, it’s been like a week,” Gilda said. “You said you’d fix the water heater five days ago! What the heck is taking so long?”

Crash couldn’t help but notice that Gilda had said a week. The way she was talking earlier made it seem like it was something that only happened this morning.

“Hey, hey, calm down,” The landlord who Gilda had called Lodge said. “No need to get so upset! You look much better with a smile, sweetheart.”

“Gross,” Lost Way whispered.

“Shh!” Crash hissed.

“Look, Lodge, can you just do your job?” Gilda asked. “I’m tired of going to the gym just to shower every day.”

“Well, you could always come over to my place,” Lodge said. “I don’t mind letting you use my shower! It’s much closer than a quick flight to the gym I bet.”

“Dude,” Gilda said. Crash could almost see the annoyed look on her face. “I don’t want to go to my landlord’s place just to shower, I want to use my OWN shower in my OWN home!”

“Okay, okay, settle down,” The landlord said. “You’re getting awfully worked up here! It was just a suggestion! No need to take it so personally!”

“Lodge,” Gilda said in a tone that Crash could tell she was getting on her last nerves. “This place sucks, okay? I’m… I’m tired of you putting off work that you should be doing, and honestly I’m tired of you always making weird jokes or comments whenever you talk to me. Can you please just… just stop?”

It wasn’t like Gilda to sound like that. She sounded almost like she was pleading with Lodge. For a while there was a stark silence between the two of them, and during it Crash forgot to breathe.

“Fine, I get it,” Lodge said. “I’ll go ahead and get fixing on that water heater.”

“Thank you,” Gilda said after letting out a heavy sigh of relief.

“After you pay me the rest of the rent you owe,” Lodge said.

“What?” Gilda snapped. “I just freaking paid rent!”

“Oh, didn’t you get the letter?” Lodge asked. “It went up. You still owe me a hundred bits more.”

“A hundred freaking bits?” Gilda asked. “What kinda bull…?”

“If you can’t pay it, that’s no big deal,” Lodge said. “You can make it up to me in other ways. I’m sure a big birdie like you has plenty of ways to… entertain company.”

That was right about the moment that Crash couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed himself right up off the wall he was leaning against and went straight to the door only to throw it open. The moment he jumped outside the older unicorn let out a shocked cry. Gilda whipped around. Her eyes were angry from Lodge yet confused to see Crash standing there. It was a blind moment of anger that took over the pegasus.

“Crash, c’mon, I can handle this!” Gilda said. “Were you freaking listening?”

“Wh-Who is that?” Lodge asked. “You can’t have anybody else living in your place! Not without telling me!”

“I’m not living here in this dump,” Crash said as he took a step forward and made his way past GIlda. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and grabbing the necktie around the unicorn’s neck and tugging him forward. He towered over Lodge, and right now his eyes were glaring daggers directly into the unicorn’s own. “Is this how you treat all of your tenants? Or just the ones you have a crush on? That make you feel big and strong? Screwing chicks over when they won’t fuck you?”

“G-Get off me!” Lodge said in a whiny and panicked tone.

“Crash, stop,” Gilda said and reached out to try and grab Crash’s hoof.

“No way,” Crash said. “I’m not gonna let some creep stand there and talk to my girlfriend like that!”

Out of the corner of his eye Crash saw how Gilda’s eyes widened. She lowered her talon from Crash’s foreleg and took a step back.

“Unhand me!” The unicorn snapped. “I’ll call the guards! I will! I mean it!”

“No need,” A voice said from behind the three. Crash looked around to see that Lost Way had stepped out of the apartment as well and was pushing past Gilda and Crash to stand at the side of Lodge. “Royal guards here, Lost Way and Crashing Thunder. At your service! How can we help you, Mr. Lodge?”

“Oh you have got to be kidding me,” Lodge said in a helpless voice as he looked between Lost Way and Crash.

“Mr. Lodge?” Lost Way began. “Do you know it’s illegal to up your tenant's rent without notice? Much less claiming they owe more AFTER they already paid?”

“I-I didn’t do it without notice!” Lodge squeaked. “I sent a letter! I swear!”

“Did you?” Lost Way asked. “So you’re telling me if I go through each and every one of these apartments and ask all the tenants they’ll all tell me the same story? That rent suddenly went up a hundred bits? I mean, me and my buddy Crash here would LOVE to take you at your word! We just can’t, you see. Legal proceedings and all. Should we go knock on the doors now and ask some of the residents?”

It was about then that Crash felt his sudden burst of anger begin to simmer down. He slowly released Lodge’s necktie and let him sink back several hoofsteps.

“I-I… I mean, of course… But right now I…”

“Do you know that it’s also illegal to try and offer your tenants a way to pay rent by doing sexual favors for you?” Lost Way asked. “Or to withhold your responsibilities as their landlord because they won’t respond to your advances the way you like?”

“You don’t have any proof!” Lodge snapped.

“No, you’re right,” Lost Way said. “But I think the fact that not one but two royal guards just happened to overhear you admit to such things yourself along with the resident’s statement will be enough to put you under some financial strain, hmm? Even if you win the case it’ll still be a steep legal fee. Actually, now that I think about it we don’t really need to go through with all of that. I could just arrest you here and now and we can talk about it back at the castle? A night in one of the Princess’ dungeons might change your tune a little.”

Lodge winced at those words and looked down. He looked like he was shaking and about to fall over. He was nothing of the confident and cocky slimeball that Crash had just overheard from the apartment window.

“Fine,” Lodge said. “I’ll… I’ll drop the rent thing. Just please don’t arrest me! I’ll fix the water, too!”

“You had better,” Crash said before taking another threatening step forward. “And if I find out you’ve been mistreating other residents in a similar manner I will be back here, and believe me I’ll have a warrant out for your arrest! Now get the hell out of here before I change my mind!”

Lodge looked down as Crash roared at him. He let out a curse word under his breath before turning and running with his tail tucked between his legs like a puppy who had just been kicked. Crash stared at the spot he had just been for several seconds before he felt a hoof on his shoulder. He jumped, and looked down to see Lost Way looking up at him.

“Crash,” Lost Way said. “You’re shaking.”

Crash didn’t realize it until then, but Lost Way was right. Without thinking he turned and embraced the zebra tight in his arms.

“Thank you,” Crash said. “I was… I was seriously gonna put that stallion in the hospital if you didn’t show up.”

The last few minutes suddenly felt like a blur. Crash felt his eyes sting as he continued to squeeze Lost Way. He wasn’t sure if it was brought on by anger or just an overwhelming amount of emotion.

“Wow,” Gilda said. It was the first thing she had said in some time. “You two just… I think Lodge was seriously about to piss himself there.”

“Are you okay?” Crash asked as he parted his hug from Lost Way and turned to Gilda. He stepped forward and put his hooves on her shoulders.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Crash,” Gilda said. She reached up one of her hands and placed it against Crash’s cheek. “Are you okay, though? Lost is right, you look shaken up.”

This time it was Gilda who stepped forward and gave Crash a hug. The pegasus froze for a moment before lifting his forelegs to hug back.

“I’m sorry,” Crash said. “I-I know I shouldn’t have gotten involved. I just… I just got so angry when I heard him.”

“It’s okay, big guy,” Gilda said as she rubbed her talon up and down Crash’s back. “Thanks for being my knight in shining armor. Both of you.”

Gilda pulled back slightly to look over to Lost Way.

“I can’t believe you were seriously gonna arrest him for me,” Gilda said.

“Uh, actually,” Lost Way said with a nervous chuckle as he gently scratched his cheek with one hoof. “I wasn’t. I mean, I would have. I just really don’t have that kind of authority. Neither does Crash.”

“Seriously?” Gilda asked with an amused expression.

“Hey, he didn’t need to know that!” Lost Way said. “I just said what I thought would make him the most scared. Guys who treat girls like that crumble the second a bigger guy bullies them. It helps if you resemble some kinda authority over them. I mean, if any guard could just throw anypony they wanted into the dungeon this city would be chaos.”

“Holy shit,” Gilda said before laughing. “You got balls, Lost.”

“You sure you’re fine?” Crash asked. “I mean… All those things he said.”

“Don’t worry, Crash,” Gilda said. “I think any anger I felt got settled when I saw him almost piss himself… Also when you… y’know?”

“When I what?” Crash asked.

“When you called me your girlfriend, dork,” Gilda said before glancing away. “That’s the first time you’ve called me that.”

“I did?” Crash asked. He could feel himself blush now. “I-I mean! Are you cool with that? Is that too fast? It just slipped out and I…”

Gilda interrupted Crash’s ramblings by leaning forward and pressing her beak against his lips. Admittedly it was a good way to calm Crash’s nerves.

“You two are awesome boyfriends,” Gilda said. She reached out and grabbed Lost Way only to lean in and kiss him on his cheek. The zebra giggled. “Seriously. I can’t wait to actually have a hot shower again.”

“You mean you…” Crash paused and then glanced toward the apartment door that was still hung open. He thought about Lodge, and how he might act as soon as he realized both Crash and Lost Way were gone. He found his words getting stuck in his throat before he glanced over to Lost Way. The two stared at each other and seemed to communicate in silence. Eventually Lost Way let out a sigh.

“Alright, fine,” Lost Way said. “Y’know, Gilda, this place really is a dump.”

“Uh… Okay?” Gilda said as she lifted her brow in confusion. “Thanks?”

“I just mean compared to our place,” Lost Way said. “Ours is pretty big, you know. Even bigger since I stopped sleeping in my own bed and started sleeping in the same one as Crash. Plus as a herd it might be nice to… y’know, all live under one roof?”

“Are you asking me to move in?” Gilda asked.

“I-If you want!” Crash said quickly. “I mean, you can always come back here! I know it’s a really big leap really suddenly! I just don’t want you to have to deal with that creep again. Again, it doesn’t have to be a permanent thing. You could just stay with us awhile to see how it feels?”

Gilda looked between the two of them with a quizzical expression. Eventually she let out a long sigh and shook her head.

“Jeez, you two look like needy dogs begging for food,” Gilda said. “I mean, a few days couldn’t hurt. Enough time for Lodge to cool off at least. I just don’t wanna be too big of a hoofful for you two.”

“Believe me,” Lost Way said. “We have the space.”

Gilda smiled, and let out a chuckle as she shook her head.

“You two are so weird,” Gilda said. “Alright, fine… I guess I’ll grab some of my things!”

—————————————————

Turns out a few of Gilda’s things took most of the day to collect and drag over to their place. They weren’t exactly in a hurry given that Crash and Gilda took most of the stuff by air and took their swell time flying it back to the house. Lost Way had decided to take the long way back on hoof and organize the things as they came. It turns out that Lost Way’s old bedroom had an awful lot of room in it after he reorganized most of his stuff to migrate into Crash’s room.

It took about four trips total between the two flying creatures before they finally seemed satisfied. By then it was evening. They stayed up for hours just talking about things that they would likely forget by morning. They ordered take out and sat around the fire laughing and telling jokes until their throats hurt from talking so much. Gilda had a glimmer in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. She seemed far more relaxed and casual than she had ever been in their home.

“So, you think you’ll like it here?” Crash asked.

“I still haven’t decided if I’m staying,” Gilda said.

“R-Right, I mean…” Crash blushed as he glanced away.

“It’s nice, though,” Gilda quickly interjected with a laugh and a quick jab against Crash’s shoulder with her talon. “I just need to give it my own touch. Get a few of my feathers stuck between the cushions. Make it more like my place, y’know?”

“Feel free to do anything you want,” Lost Way said as he glanced around the place. “We’re… not too good at interior decorating. This place looks kind of like a stage house you try to sell sometimes.”

“Uhh, if you let me go wild in this place it’ll look a lot less like a home and a lot more like a punk show,” Gilda said. “But, seriously, no music players? At all? What the hell is up with that?”

“I-I guess we just don’t really listen to much,” Crash said sheepishly.

“I need to fix that,” Gilda said with a long sigh. “I thought I was gonna go nuts in that place when my old system broke. All my vinyls have just been collecting dust. We’ll need to get a real big one if we don’t want this place to be a snooze town.”

“Speaking of snooze,” Lost Way interrupted. “You can probably use my bed for tonight. It’s not really big or anything, though.”

“Uh, your bed?” Gilda asked.

“Yeah,” Lost said. “Something wrong?”

“Dunno,” Gilda said with a shrug. “I just kinda thought we were gonna be sharing a big bed or… something? I dunno, herd stuff?”

“I uh… Actually, Crash, how is a big herd supposed to sleep?” Lost Way asked as he looked to the pegasus.

“Just cause I wanted a herd first doesn’t mean I know everything!” Crash said. “I-I guess we normally just sleep with whoever we want? Or alone? These kinda things aren’t exactly set in stone?”

“Sooo, I like to sleep in a nest,” Gilda said. “But it might take awhile to set up. Is it cool if I just crash with you two tonight?”

“I’m picturing myself as a tiny little hay burger between two giant sandwich buns,” Lost Way said as he glanced between Crash and Gilda. Their size was about equal, but compared to Lost they were massive. “I think I’ve had a few dreams like this when I was a teen… Except Gilda was a stallion named Bruno.”

“Ppppffft, Hahahaha!” Gilda burst out laughing.

It wasn’t long after that the three creatures realized just how exhausting the day had been. Wrapping up for bed with an extra creature trying to get into the bathroom to brush their teeth was different, but not unwelcome. Lost Way was the first to reach the bed and snuggled up at the side. Crash followed and spooned Lost Way from behind. There was still plenty of room on the bed for Gilda.

“I didn’t force this on you, did I?” Crash asked quietly while he heard the sound of running sink water in the bathroom. “Gilda moving in, I mean.”

“Naw,” Lost Way said. “I wasn’t just gonna let her live in that place. Besides, we were always planning to have the new herd live with us weren’t we?”

“I guess,” Crash said as he kissed Lost’s cheek softly. “Thanks for being my rock today. I love you.”

“I love you too, dummy,” Lost Way said with a giggle.

“Alright, nerds, scoot over,” Gilda said with a thunderous tone as she entered the room. She landed on the bed without grace and extended her wings as she did so. One of them draped over Crash like a blanket, and Gilda made the move to quickly move to put him into the position of little spoon.

“Heh, you’re warm,” Gilda said with a chuckle.

“I-I’m in the middle?” Crash asked.

“Well, why not?” Lost Way asked. “You’re fun to cuddle and fun to get cuddled by!”

“Lost’s right,” Gilda said. “Stop whining.”

Gilda pecked Crash gently on his cheek when she spoke, but was quick to lay her head down and bury her beak right into his neck. She relaxed quickly, and her arms moved to softly wrap around Crash’s body. It was a gentle touch and unlike any kind Crash had ever felt from her. It felt right.

“Night, nerds,” Gilda said softly.

“Night, Gilda,” Crash said as he raised a hoof to gently squeeze over Gilda’s talon.

“Also… Thanks for today,” Gilda added softly. Her voice was almost a whisper. “You guys really are awesome boyfriends.”

Nothing else was said between the three for the rest of the night. It had been a long way, and sleep welcomed them all with open arms. Their embrace was tight and warm, and wouldn’t be broken even for a second until morning.