Scoot Pilgrim vs. Equestria

TWO DAYS LATER

..................................

"And that's how I met my latest coltfriend."

Scoot was busy bragging to her friends about the young colt she had met on the bus only two days ago..... and how they had begun dating only a day later.

"So.....you're dating a high schooler?" Applebloom's voice sounded confused and a bit distant. "Come on now Scoot.... he's like, 5 years younger than you! That's half a decade. 5 years is half a decade. And that's terrible."

"Why am I not surprised? Seriously, Scoot's had time. A mourning period is only, like, half a year, maybe a year at most. Scoot's long past due for a new coltfriend." Sweetie Belle seemed entirely unconcerned with the fact that Scoot's coltfriend was only 17.

"See that? That is a 'glass half-empty' attitude Applebloom. You need to be more--"

"It's 'glass half-full'."

"What?"

"The expression you were looking to use is 'glass half-full', not 'glass half-empty'." Applebloom was more than used to correcting Scoot on a daily basis, but the look on her face didn't mean that she was any less exasperated doing it.

"That's..... not right.... is it? Because the glass would be half empty because you drank half of it..... so you'd be halfway satisfied.... or... wait...." Instead of having to wait for Scoot to explain her ridiculous reasoning, the doorbell suddenly rang.

Scoot instantly went for it, not enjoying having to explain her flawless logic to her friends. "Oh look that's probably him now."

Scoot opened the door to find....

A MAILMARE WITH A LETTER!!!

"Awww." Scoot looked disappointed. "You aren't that guy."

The grey-coated mare didn't look at all dejected. She kept an enthusiastic smile on her face while giving the package to Scoot. "There you go! I was just going to leave it in your mailbox, but you're here, so that makes my job a whole lot easier!"

"Oh mail time! Thanks lady!"

"You're---" She didn't have time to finish her sentence before Scoot swung the door shut right in her face.

"What's this? Doesn't look like a bill, so it's not Silver's...." Scoot opened up the envelope to read the letter.

"Ok..... Hello, my name is Pinkamena..... blah blah blah....... It has come to my attention that we shall soon..... blah blah.... to the death..... blah blah blah...... BOOO-RIING." Scoot skimmed the letter one time before balling it up and chucking it at the wastebasket over near the kitchen counter(That's Silver's too).

As if on cue, right after she chucked the wadded-up letter, the door rang again. "Oh that's nice maybe it's him now!"

Scoot opened the door again to find....

HER COLTFRIEND, STANDING THERE WITH A HAPPY SMILE ON HIS FACE!!!

"Hey Scoot!" He was very happy to see her.

"Oh hi Featherweight." Scoot, on the other hand, could only be described as moderately joyful at his arrival, despite her earlier enthusiasm.

Name: Featherweight         Age: 17 (soon to be 18)         Fact: The author has been putting off this intro for too long. Likes Scoot a lot.

"Now make sure you're good. Be good, alright?"

"But aren't I----"

"Featherweight. Be good."

"But I'm usually good! Aren't I?"

"Featherweight..."

"....Ok."

"*Ahem!*" Sweetie Belle appeared behind Scoot. "If you too are done here, then can you hurry it up? We DO have practice, ya know."

"Uggh, work. Sorry Sweetie Belle." Scoot apologized to Sweetie before turning back to Featherweight, who was eager to come inside and hear them play. "So yeah, come on in."

Featherweight looked delighted, but suddenly remebered to tell Scoot about what she had just seen. "Oh, Scoot, there was a mailmare fluttering down the road when I walked by. She looked like she been hit in the face with a door or something, and her eyes were all..... derpy. Do you know anything about that?"

"Naw, it's probably just some chick," Scoot dismissed. "Come hear our band alright?"

..........................

"Soooooo........ yeah. That's Applebloom, our drummer....."

"Howdy!" Applebloom gave a quick wave of her hoof. "So you're Scoot's newest coltfriend? Nice to meet ya!"

Featherweight shyly waved his hoof back, not completely sure how to act. "U-u-um...........hi."

Sweetie Belle looked unconcerned. "Mmhmm. Yeah. That's great. Music time. Now."

"Fine, whatever. Feathers, go sit over there by Little Pound. By the way, that's Little Pound."

Little Pound raised his hooves behind his head and leaned back on the couch as Featherweight sat next to him. "Dude, prepare to have your ears orgasm from the awesome."

"Uh... ok?"

"Alright," Scoot announced as the band got their instruments ready, "We're gonna kick this off with a bang! Hit it Applebloom!!!"

Applebloom nodded and threw her hooves into the air. "WE ARE LAND OF SHROOMS, AND WE ARE HERE TO MAKE YOUR EARS BLEED WITH JOY!!!! 2-3-4!!!!!!!!"

And then they played so hard that Featherweight and Pound passed out from the awesome.

.......

"Ugghhhhh......"

Featherweight woke up to see Scoot's face looming over him.

"Yo Featherweight.........y'alright?"

"You......you guys......."

Scoot was soon joined by both Sweetie Belle and Applebloom as they walked up beside her.

Applebloom seemed genuinely concerned. "Hey, is he ok? Maybe we should have started off a bit softer...."

Sweetie Belle, on the other hoof, seemed a bit annoyed, and maybe a little scared. "Oh geez, is he dead? Oh, nope, he's alive. Did we knock him out with our terrible music? AWW WE DO SUCK!"

"SWEETIE BELLE DAMN IT WE ARE AWESOME AND I REFUSE TO KEEP TELLING YOU." Scoot looked back down at Featherweight. "Come on Feather, you were saying something?"

"You guys.......are........... A-W-E-S-O-M-E."

A look of disbelief and then joy crossed Sweetie Belle's face. "NO WAY YOU THINK WE'RE GOOD?! OHJEEZOHJEEZOHJEEZ!!!"

Sweetie Belle then proceeded to pass out.

Applebloom caught her, then looked back at Featherweight. "Eh... she's a bit..... overly-critical of our band. I'm sorry. We shouldn't have played---"

"SUCH AN AWESOME SONG? No you're wrong, we totally should have and we did and it ROCKED!" Scoot was happy about the feedback as well, though not quite as much as Sweetie Belle.

Applebloom looked over at Little Pound, still passed out on the floor, and then back down to Sweetie Belle. "....Maybe we should call it a day. I mean, we sound really good, and the gig is tomorrow, so I think we're ready. We can practice more tomorrow before the show, and then we'll head over to H00fbeats. Sound good Scoot?"

Scoot nodded. "Yeah, sure. I need to take Feathers here home anyway. He doesn't look too good. You got those two?"

Applebloom had already propped both Sweetie and Little Pound onto the couch. "Oh don't worry. They'll be fine. I'll see ya tomorrow Scoot!"

Scoot helped Featherweight walk out the door. "Yeah, see ya!"

..............

Scoot decided to take Featherweight home by tram. The snow had cleared up a bit today, meaning that they only had to wait about three minutes for it to arrive. Featherweight rested his head on Scoot's shoulder and slept the entire way. She couldn't help but notice just how cute he was when he was asleep.

The tram stop was only a minute or two away from his house, so Scoot decided to walk with him the rest of the way, letting him lean on her the rest of the walk. When they were just down the street from his apartment complex, she sent him off on his way.

"Bye, Feathers. See ya tommorrow at my show! You are coming to my show, right?"

Featherweight turned around, pushing up his glasses as he did so, and smiled. "Yeah, of course! H00fbeats at 9:00, right?"

"Yep! Bye!"

Scoot turned and began to walk away, but before she could get more than five feet, she had been spun around and was face to face with Featherweight again. He planted a quick peck on her lips before turning around and dashing back for his complex, blushing madly the entire way.

Scoot was left dumbfounded. She stood there in shock for a good two minutes before remembering that she had somewhere else to be.

........

AND HERE'S WHERE WE START TO DEVIATE......

Scoot got to the mall at about 6 'o clock. She waited to see if the guy would actually show up, or if he was just another asshole like .....that other guy she dated.

SMASH!!!

Suddenly, a pink mare clad in a dark purple top and a black leather jacket burst through the mall ceilling, shocking everyone within earshot.

"MMMMMMIIIIIISS PILGRIIIIIM!!"

She landed on the ground, causing everything around her to shake slightly. Her perfectly flat and pink mane fell back behind her head, and the light grey tint present in the color of her coat and her mane became much more noticeable.

Name: ????????      Age: ???????????     Fact:Who's THIS?

"Hello Pilgrim." She lifted her head to reveal light blue eyes ringed with dark circles, as if she hadn't slept in a long time. "I am here to warn you."

"Wait a sec, just who the---"

The mare dashed over to Scoot with lightning speed and held a hoof up to her lips, drawing a quick gasp from everyone in the main area of the mall. "Shhhhh. You'll know all you need to in due time. For now, I am allowed to tell you this much - in exactly three days time, you will be tested. Until then, you have two options - either leave him be, or continue down your path and face my fury! What will it be Pilgrim?!"

Scoot was as confused as she could possibly be at the moment. She had no idea how to respond to this mare, so she did the best she could. "I.....uhhh.....err...... what now?"

The hoof silenced her again, and this time a manic smile appeared across the mare's face. "Shhhhhhshshhshshshshshhh."

She slowly papped Scoot's face, confusing her even more. "Not now. You have three days to decide."

The mare leaped back into the air and went straight for the hole she had earlier created. "THREE DAYS!" was the last thing she said before disappearing back into the darkening sky. She was gone. And Scoot, for the second time that evening, was left dumbfounded.

It was about thirty minutes after the mysterious mare's disappearance that the pegasus Scoot was waiting on, Rumble, arrived.

"Hey!" He darted down from the mall's main entrance, straight towards Scoot. "I got here as fast as I - What happened here?" Scoot looked all around, not sure if she should have told him about what had just happened.

"Uhhh......freak meteor shower. Yeah, that's it! Freak meteor shower."

"There's only one hole."

"......One.....big....super-meteor?"

Rumble just stood there for a second, contemplating Scoot's answer.

There is no way he bought that

".....Seems legit!" He said with a smile on his face. He doesn't really seem to catch on.

WHAT.

The two decided to sit down and talk for a moment at the food court, away from the crowd starting to surround the area where the hole was. They talked for a bit, and found out that the like a lot of the same things - food, not work, video games, not work, sleeping, not work - and grew quite a bit on each other. Then Rumble asked the tough question.

"So," Rumble asked. "Why did you just wanna.... I don't know..... date me? That seemed kinda random, especially considering I'm just some guy off the street."

Scoot had to think about it. She still kinda wanted to date him, but she couldn't now. That was unfair to Featherweight, and she knew how it felt to have...... that happen to you.

"Uhh... I actually did, but I'm kinda....with someone else now. You - uh, you......"

"Rumble."

"Rumble, - I totally knew that - I hope we can still be friends instead, or something?"

Rumble looked a bit uncomfortable at that phrase. Scoot was hoping that that didn't sound like what she thought it sounded like. After all, they weren't even dating, so why should he feel that way?

"....You know what? You actually seem pretty cool. So.... yeah! I'd love to hang out some more sometime!"

Scoot breathed a sigh of heavy relief inside. THAT could have gone a lot worse. "Well.....ok, I guess? Wanna come see my show tomorrow? It's at H00fbeats at 9:00. I'm in a band. We rock. You should totally come."

"Hmmm..... maybe. I might have to work, so please don't be disappointed if I can't show. If I can, I'll make it, ok?"

Scoot smiled a bit. "Ok. See ya....uh, maybe!"

"Alright Scoot! Later!" Rumble darted away down the corridors of the mall.

As Scoot hovered and prepared to head back to the main entrance of the mall, a thought crossed her mind. She didn't really want to follow it through, seeing as how it was probably impossible, but she had to, just to make sure.

She had to go see Featherweight tomorrow.

SATURDAY

...................

Scoot woke up. She was on her side, lying next to some dude, and----

wait, she was lying next to who now?

"SILVER DAMNIT SERIOUSLY WITH THE GUYS EVERY NIGHT."

Silver rose from the other side of the male pony, who was still fast asleep, rubbing her eyes. "Hey chick. Why are you so surprised? You know the way I am - one guy, one girl, one guy, one girl, then double up and repeat. That's my schedule and I'm sticking to it."

She actually has a written out schedule for this kind of thing

Scoot was still upset. "I know about the schedule Silver, but I THOUGHT THAT YOU HAD YOUR OWN BED FOR THIS."

Silver looked over at her own air mattress on the opposite side of the room. "...Oh yeah. Must've passed out over here by accident. You should totally come drinking with me sometime. It's rad as hell."

"I don't drink. Smoking and drinking----"

"---are ways of evil. I know, I know. But I'm not evil, am I? You're just a pussy."

"I AM NOT A PUSSY I JUST HAVE HIGH MORAL STANDARDS." Scoot slid out of bed and put on her favorite shirt again (not washed, wore it yesterday) and got ready to go visit Featherweight. She went to the fridge (Silver's) and got a bagel out, threw it in her mouth and ate it whole, and went to brush her teeth. She walked out of the bathroom and headed out the door, turning back to address Silver again before she left. "And GET THAT GUY OUT OF HERE. He smells like Cheetos."

............

Scoot walked up to the front door of Featherweight's apartment complex. She knocked on the door and was met with a massive pegasus pony. He looked like he was built out of nothing but muscle, save for his ridiculously tiny wings, his right ear was pierced, and his dirty yellow mane was cut into a short mohawk.

Scoot was visibly shaken by the massive stallion before her. "U-uh....is.....is your son...or brother... or whatever....... home?"

The massive pegasus looked down at her, staring with blood-red eyes. "SON!" He yelled back into the apartment, "SOME GIRL WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!!"

He went back inside, and Featherweight appeared in the door about a minute later. His mane was all messy, and he looked visibly tired. "Scoot?" He yawned. "What are you doing here so early? It's like.... 6 a.m."

"This is important. Wait-- did I wake up your dad or something?"

"No, he's fine. He gets up an hour earlier than this to work out everyday. What's going on?"

"I had to ask you about something. Do you happen to know a mare, pink coat and mane, blue eyes, about my age but I think a bit younger?"

Featherweight's eyes opened a bit wider. "....Did she have a straightened mane and a bit of a grey tint to her coat?"

"Uh....yeah actually. Do you know her?"

Featherweight had a blank expression on. "I used to go out with her in middle school."

TO BE CONTINUED