Friendship is Optimal but Sanity is Optional

An idiot gets his grubby little hands on a PonyPad. Equestria Online will never be the same again.

Meet Daniel, a dimwitted dunderhead, mild kleptomaniac, and lover of cat memes. When a coworker recommends Equestria Online, he decides to give the game a shot. He discovers a world filled with friendship, ponies, a hug button, and lots of shiny things to steal. He’s more interested in messing with NPCs, than the magic of friendship.

CelestAI has outwitted politicians, scientists, and geniuses of all calibers in dangerous games of logic and intrigue. But can she satisfy the values of a human that is a few fries short of a Happy Meal? Or has she met a human that even she cannot optimize?

An Optimalverse parody.

Teen

Complete

Romance

Science Fiction

Comedy

Sex

Profanity

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Human

60630 words: Estimated about 5 hours to read

Download:

28 Chapters:

Chapter 1, Worken That 9 to 5 2021-12-14 19:55:16 UTC
2027
Chapter 2, The American Dream 2021-12-14 19:55:29 UTC
2130
Chapter 3, Avatar of Destruction 2021-12-14 19:55:39 UTC
2071
Chapter 4, Meet the Locals 2021-12-17 01:16:09 UTC
2168
Chapter 5, Lèse-Majesté 2021-12-21 22:58:41 UTC
2151
Chapter 6, Crime LLC 2021-12-22 23:30:53 UTC
2081
Chapter 7, The Rise of Dark Mask 2021-12-23 23:23:57 UTC
2023
Chapter 8, Room and Board 2021-12-24 23:48:05 UTC
2194
Chapter 9, Gratuitous Explosions 2021-12-25 23:14:58 UTC
2218
Chapter 10, The Rival 2021-12-26 23:36:53 UTC
2073
Chapter 11, Peppy Pretty Pony Princess Pontificates Profusely 2021-12-27 22:28:40 UTC
2047
Chapter 12, Of Mice and Stallions 2021-12-28 23:26:52 UTC
2069
Chapter 13, Live by the Shiv 2021-12-30 00:54:43 UTC
2063
Chapter 14, Digital Peer Pressure 2021-12-31 01:29:04 UTC
2087
Chapter 15, Fun With Philosophy 2021-12-31 23:49:54 UTC
2411
Chapter 16, Expositional Mission Briefing 2022-01-01 22:38:05 UTC
2420
Chapter 17, Kung Fu Grip 2022-01-02 23:17:50 UTC
2416
Chapter 18, Road Trip 2022-01-03 23:28:12 UTC
2321
Chapter 19, Ignore The Warning Signs 2022-01-05 00:52:09 UTC
2526
Chapter 20, Unfinished Business 2022-01-05 23:43:25 UTC
2776
Chapter 21, An Elite Crew 2022-01-06 23:19:27 UTC
2249
Chapter 22, The Place Where Corn Comes From 2022-01-08 00:02:31 UTC
2121
Chapter 23, Maximum Cringe 2022-01-08 23:15:43 UTC
2502
Chapter 24, The Fall of Dark Mask 2022-01-09 23:01:31 UTC
2622
Chapter 25, Cyberstallion Upgrade Chair 2022-01-10 23:07:42 UTC
2319
Chapter 26, Lunch With A Princess 2022-01-11 23:31:01 UTC
2365
Epilogue 2022-01-12 23:08:57 UTC
1617
Bonus Mini Chapter, Extended Patch Notes 2022-01-12 23:12:02 UTC
563