Boundary Point

The ring of the university campus bell chimed 12 times. Then, the bell and chain of the light brown café rang out a 13th and 14th sound. After that, the sound of a door closing for the 15th and final tone echoed across the coffee shop. The lone workmare of the café, a unicorn with aquamarine mane and hot pink coat, looked up from the glass counter. Twilight and Xavier walked past the modest tables and mixed chairs as they both approached the brown register. Both were still grungy from the events of the evening, Twilight’s coat was still a mess from the dip she took, and Xavier still had specks of blood and grime on his face.

“Can I… get you… anything?” the unicorn said, her eyes darting between both customers.

Twilight looked up at Xavier and said, “Anything?”

Xavier slowly turned his head slightly and stared down at the unicorn by his side. Twilight swished her damp tail, and turned to face the barista, “Double mocha frappuccino with almond milk,” she once again turned up to look Xavier in the eye, her right lip curling, “Trenta.”

“And for you?”

Xavier kept staring at the unicorn that held her eye on his, “Green tea. Small.” The barista looked at the two, shook her head, and gave the price. Xavier slowly dipped his fingers between the folds of his cloak and started dropping metal bits on the counter. The barista raised her eye and recoiled as each coin was dirtier, more grimy than the last. Finishing the count, the pair broke their gaze as they walked towards the table, only for Xavier to suddenly swivel around and point at the lone coffee attendant. Growling, he said, “Don’t even think about skimping on the lemongrass,” his bruised and unwashed face caught the barista. “Or I’ll know.”

The attendant took a step back on the brown checkered floor, looked left and right then raised an eye, “Okay, sure whatever.”

The scent of coffee permeated everything as the pony and human finally reached the wooden table where they both sat and stared at each other. Nothing was said. Xavier’s lips were stretched thin, disdain pouring forth as he looked down on the pony across from him. Twilight looked up, her eyes furrowed as her mangled mane shifted. Both parties kept breathing as the gaslights flickered in the café.

“So uh…” Twilight started before Xavier cut her off.

“What did you curse me wit-?”

“Why did you ru-”

“I keep vomi-”

“Do you have any id-”

“Whatever you cursed me wi-”

“Curse? I didn’t, what makes you think-”

“Every time you sing that blasted song, I vomit. Furthermore, it’s had other physiological effects on me,” Xavier finally let out.

“That… shouldn’t have happened,” Twilight turned away and raised her foreleg to the tip of her chin.

“Then what was supposed to happen?” Xavier leaned forward, glowering.

“You were just supposed to reply,” Twilight stuttered out, and looked away.

“So you casted a spell on me, and it misfired?”

“No, no, heartsong isn’t a-”

“Heartsong? Do you mean soul aria?” Xavier said. Then an echo erupted from the center between the two. Twilight slammed her hoof on the table as her ears were firmly pointed at the human.

“Stop interrupting me!”

Both Xavier and the barista froze, the lone worker looking at Twilight from across the room. Twilight shook her head, making her messy mane messier, and grumbled before continuing, “I don’t know where you picked up the term soul aria from, but it’s an archaic phrase,” Twilight said, looking away from Xavier. “Its modern name is heartsong.”

“Then answer me this Twilight,” Xavier heaved. “If heartsong is its current epitaph, then how come a researcher in the field of Bardic Magic didn’t even bring up the possibility of my issue having been related to that?” Xavier asked, crossing his arms.

“The subject of heartsong is,” Twilight paused as the sound of coffee beans grinding caught her focus long enough to distract her. “Forbidden. To study in any case. Also, there’s the fact that I chose a…” Twilight trailed off.

“Back up, first things first. Why is this forbidden to research?” Xavier asked, elevating his eyes to Twilight.

Twilight gave a small, nervous laugh and looked away towards the tan-beige wall, swishing her tail, “Well, there are ethical considerations…”

“So there’s ethical considerations put on the researchers, but any mare worth her salt lick can just sing it at willy-nilly? No, no, no. If anything, this needs to be well researched,” Xavier jammed his gloved index finger on the table.

“I’m guessing you have yet to hear the story of The Bakery Mare?” Twilight squinted her eyes at Xavier.

“I think I came across something about that during my research,” Xavier looked up as he put a gloved finger on the tip of his chin.

“Research?” Twilight shook her head, throwing her ears into a wobble. “Whatever. The story of the bakery mare is simple. A lowly mare sings her heart out for a long time before finally meeting her Eques,” Twilight answered.

“Eques?” Xavier cocked his head.

“The Eques is the one who responded to the song. The initial singer is known as the Knight.” Twilight continued on, “However, because the bakery mare’s Eques was a duchesses’ son, it ruined a prearranged herdship that was going to be arranged between him and a rival’s daughter. It would’ve brought peace to the land. Instead…”

“Oh my fucking God,” Xavier threw his hands to his forehead and looked down at the table.

“Problem?” Twilight lifted an eye and both her ears.

“Just, just continue,” Xavier said, waving Twilight on.

“Well, what happens is prototypical for all heartsong Eques and Knights,” Twilight looked over to the side. “Because the Knight interfered in a process that would’ve brought peace amongst them, it was her duty to go and try to fix it before she and the Eques began their herd proper. And…”

“She died, didn’t she?” Xavier answered as he lifted his eyes from the table.

“Not before the duchesses’ son. The rival faction was going to kill the bakery mare, and he took the hit. And died,” another small laugh slipped from Twilight’s lips as her ears dipped slightly.

“And those are the basis of your kind’s ethical considerations?” Xavier flatly asked.

“Indeed. The first consideration is where you sing. You don’t sing where ponies above your station are in earshot. You don’t sing where miscreants are in earshot. You don’t–”

“Why don’t you sing in those areas if you’re ‘Eques’ is there? You’re excluding solution space. What if your ‘Eques’ happens to be the nephew of a Princess? Or better yet, what if they’re hardened criminals? You’re excluding a lot just to make ponies on the top feel better about themselves. Or just to make sure you don’t accidentally find out the pony you are determined to spend the rest of your life with isn’t a maniacal monster that scams old stallions out of their hip bones.”

“Just because your goal is to find a partner that resonates with you doesn’t mean you can just go around and ruin your life, or have others ruin your life because of it,” Twilight scoffed, folding her ears back.

“That’s not what I’m getting from this,” Xavier interlaced his hands together and put them on the table. “It seems to me that these rules are set down so that while the singer wants to find someone compatible, they don’t have to go through the real difficult parts of finding a matching suitor. It’s just easier for everyone if you stay in your nice social class.”

“Nobility has responsibilities.” Twilight narrowed her eyes at Xavier, “And ponies with the criminal past would be more trouble than they’re worth.”

Xavier raised an eye at the mare across the table from him. Twilight broke her gaze as she turned to pay attention to the barista bringing the two their drinks.

“Double mocha frappuccino with almond milk,” she said, levitating the large drink in front of the Unicorn. “And a Small Green Tea, lemongrass unskimped.”

Xavier nodded as Twilight uttered a, “Thank you.” The barista left as Twilight awkwardly held the drink with her hooves. It started to slip, forcing Twilight to lay the drink down and try picking it up again. Slowly she pulled it near her lips and she took a sip.

“Tartarus,” Twilight grumbled as she carefully lifted the drink up to her lips while keeping the upper half of her front legs on the table.

“Just pop that ring off and you’ll be set,” Xavier took a sip, then eyed his drink as his lips narrowed into a single point. “Unskimped indeed.”

Twilight’s ears fluttered as she looked up at Xavier and muttered, “I know this must be so amusing for you, but I can’t just pop it off.”

“Why? I’ve seen it happen before,” Xavier looked at Twilight, then back at his drink.

Twilight’s jaw dropped, “It could crack my horn or worse!”

“So? 3rd grade cracks happen all the time, it’s practically a state every unicorn going through serious magic training lives with, you should know this,” Xavier countered.

“Have you seen 2nd grade cracks?” Twilight blurted out, her ears pressed back.

Xavier’s eyes dashed from his drink to Twilight, then grimaced, “I’ve seen 1st grade cracks.”

“Then you know!” Twilight hissed. “I would lose my ability to cast magic!”

“No, you wouldn’t. That and I doubt that ring is going to give you 1st degree cracks. Maybe 2nd degree cracks if you don’t take it seriously and dump in as much as you can, as fast as you can,” Xavier blinked.

“Well, you’re not a unicorn! So I’ll keep my own council on the matter!” Twilight took a swig of her concoction while the human sat his drink down and tapped his fingers on the table, looking away. Both of them said nothing as Twilight carefully maneuvered her drink, taking as much as she could before letting gravity slip the cup from her limbs to the table.

“Back to the matter at hand,” Xavier said. Twilight raised an eye before Xavier corrected, “Or hoof. Whatever, excluding solution space doesn’t sound like ‘finding one’s true partner’ or whatever to me. It sounds like the singer picking and choosing who they resonate with.”

“Knight,” Twilight corrected, putting her drink down, nearly spilling it. “To reiterate, the one who calls out is the Knight, and the one who responds is called the Eques.”

“The point is,” Xavier snapped back up, “It sounds like the one who sings is being picky. And that’s ignoring the fact that they’re literally inserting themselves into the lives of someone, or somepony as your kind continues to state, when they’re not wanted at all.”

“First,” Twilight began. “It’s imperative that despite one’s desire to find their resonating partner, that they do not interfere with the mechanisms of society. That’s the primary lesson of The Bakery Mare. You get someone too high, you run the risk of making everyone’s life in your community that much worse.”

Xavier tilted his head, “Okay, but what about the criminal case?”

“Sometimes it’s just best not to find out who you resonate with.” Twilight’s ears folded back, and shrugged, “That’s been the prevailing wisdom for the last few centuries.”

Xavier bent over the table, “But still, what if you got a serial murderer? Is that why you chose some weird song rather than something normal?”

Twilight averted her eyes, and answered, “First, the Knight is still responsible. Preferably, they would do everything in their power to stop their Eques from doing such ghastly things.” Twilight took another chug of her drink, “Second, I chose that ancient pony love song for a particular reason.”

“You. Chose. A. What?” Xavier enunciated each word.

“I uh, I kinda chose my heart song to be an ancient pony love song,” she looked away from Xavier as her ears fell to the sides of her head.

“Why?” Xavier blurted out with a raised voice.

“To weed out any false positives, that’s why.” Twilight gritted out as she glanced left.

“So let me get this straight, you chose an ancient language, that possibly nobody even speaks outside of a few academic circles. Then you start broadcasting, waiting for the appropriate response. You accidentally got me-”

“I did not accidentally get you.” Twilight shot a glare at the human across the table, her ears standing at attention, “You’re my Eques, and I am your Knight. There is nothing accidental about it.”

“Oh boy, let me guess, more magic bullshit,” Xavier snorted. “So, how do we break whatever this thing is between us?”

Twilight pulled her head back, and looked dumbfounded at the human, “You… don’t.”

“What do you mean you don’t?” Xavier shook his head, “I don’t consent to any of this.”

“It’s not a matter of consent,” Twilight shot back.

“Excuse me?”

Twilight let out a sigh as her ears fell for a moment, only to be lifted back up, “It’s not a matter of consent. We resonate. Now all that’s left is to figure out where we stand and how we move forward.”

“So let me understand this right, I don’t get a say in the matter,” Xavier lowered his gaze.

“No, I mean,” Twilight stumbled over her words. “Do you not perceive how big this is for you?”

“You mean being conscripted into a relationship against my will?” Xavier asked. “Or being turned into your own personal sperm bank?”

“You’re being overly dramatic,” Twilight rolled her eyes and looked away.

Xavier’s right hand gripped into a leathery ball, “Says the mare that’s so desperate for the D she asked magic itself to get her some. You know, it could’ve been easier on you if you had just decided to stand in the marketplace and lift your tail. I’m sure someone, I’m sorry, to use your parlance, somepony would have taken you up on the offer.”

“Excuse me?” Twilight spat out, ears folded back.

“No, no, no, excuse me.” Xavier’s fist tightened, “Where I come from, you don’t just point at someone and say, ‘That’s mine’ and claim them as your own. In fact, I daresay heartsong is among the top 10 most disgusting things I ever encountered because it removes everyone’s agency,” Xavier growled.

“I didn’t point and claim you,” Twilight narrowed her eyes.

Xavier’s grip released as he pointed at Twilight, “No, no, that’s exactly what you did. Except instead of pointing, you decided to hand over your agency to some thaumaturgic oracle with brain damage, but not all of it because heaven forbid that it turns out your ‘resonating partner’ has a boner for tax evasion.”

“You’re being an overly emotional bronco,” Twilight muttered as she looked away.

“Speaking of bronco, there’s got to be some escape clause for an interspecies,” Xavier raised both of his hands up and wiggled the middle fingers and index fingers, “Eques.”

“What do you mean?” Twilight glanced back at Xavier.

“If pony-kind is so big on not netting someone above and below their station, there must be some kind of provision made for when the one that responds is a Griffin or Dragon. Or whatever else,” Xavier waved his left hand like he was swatting a fly.

“I’ll have you know that many Griffins and Dragons, have both been Knights and Eques in their own right,” Twilight shot a smug look at the human. “Though truth be told, you’re probably the first human.”

“Quaint,” Xavier said, picking up his drink and taking a sip. “None of this informs me how we can quickly retire this relationship, preferably in a manner that allows you to save face.”

“Were you not listening to me? Two beings tied together and heartsong don’t just end the relationship, or retire it,” Twilight answered.

Xavier shook his head, “I refuse to believe that. What if one of the two just runs away? There’s no legal binding, unless I’m somehow magically forced to stay within 500 meters of you. Speaking of which, what are soul aria’s magical properties and functions?”

“You mean its requirements and effects? Its only requirements are some practice and focused intention,” Twilight took a small sip of her drink. “Its effects? Varies from couple to couple.”

“Any instances of chronic pain dissipating?” Xavier’s left eyelid fell into a half-lidded position.

Twilight shook her head.

“What about cases where once dead limbs can suddenly feel again?” Xavier leaned forward, both his eyes scanning Twilight.

“I don’t know. Within my lifetime, there may have been, excluding ours,” Twilight trailed off and looked Xavier in the eye. “Five or seven cases. Total. In all of Equus.”

“There’s no way none of this is undocumented,” Xavier shook his head as he placed his thumb and index finger on the temples of his head.

“That’s because it’s, again, illegal to conduct such research,” Twilight tried to catch Xavier’s eyes, only for him to look away and shaking his head.

“I need to know,” Xavier said, finally looking Twilight in the eye. “When you sang, the pain that has been my constant companion for so long just vanished and I regained the ability to feel.”

Twilight stayed silent, then her ears plopped forward as she looked at Xavier’s gloved hands and scanned his bound arms, “What happened?”

“If we can determine the peculiar mechanism in which heartsong was used to fix my nervous system, we can use that knowledge to treat five others,” Xavier said.

“I mean there’s Celestia’s archives, but,” Twilight shook her head as her ears fell back sharply.

“Celestia’s archives?”

Twilight took a quick glance left and right to make sure no one was listening. The barista was humming to herself as she was wiping a countertop far from the two. Twilight turned back to Xavier, and lowered her voice, “Celestia may be evergreen, but she has also lived a very long time. And her memory isn’t perfect. She keeps logs and records discussing events and such to help her keep track of everything. But she is so old that keeping all that in Canterlot? Bad idea. So any log over 100 years old gets shifted to one of several abbeys where it is kept for safekeeping. Also, there’s the fact that it’s not illegal for her to write anything down about heartsong.”

“All right, point me in the direction of the nearest abbey,” Xavier said.

“Are you crazy?” Twilight hissed.

“Yeah, I get humans are banned in the kingdom, but I have a way of getting around.”

“That’s not the point! Abbeys are isolated on purpose! Just getting there, some mare is going to see you and report you,” Twilight glanced left and right.

“I don’t think you can appreciate my situation, seeing as you have just barged in,” Xavier slowly raised his eyes to Twilight. “But I owe these five at least a courtesy attempt at helping them. It’s required of me,” Xavier crossed his arms.

“Required? Five others? Did you take an oath?” Twilight raised an eye.

“No, but I would not wish the pain I endured on my worst enemy,” Xavier answered, letting out an exhale.

“I mean, well…”

“Let me put it like this,” Xavier once again laced his fingers while he bore down on the mare across from him. “You tell me where the nearest abbey is, or I’m just going to get up, pick a direction and start walking. And either I’ll accidentally find it, with the wind as my guide, or I’ll die of exposure.”

“You wouldn’t,” Twilight hissed as she shot him a dirty look.

“Watch,” Xavier stood up and walked towards the glass door. Three paces away, he finally heard a shout behind him.

“You can’t just go!” Twilight stumbled down, her tail jittering and cantered past Xavier, hooves echoing on the brown checkered floor before blocking his way further, “You have no clue what’s out there!”

“That’s been my experience with this world since day one. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an abbey I have to get to,” Xavier said, taking a sidestep past Twilight.

“Listen to me! Even if you find one, they won’t let you peruse around like a library!” Twilight almost yelled. “Questions will be asked, and make no mistake, they will defend the archives if they see an intruder like you,” Twilight hissed.

“I’ll deal with that problem when I get to it. Now…” Xavier motioned towards the door, “Unless there is anything else, I’ll be on my way.”

“You, you can’t just leave!” Twilight took a step back, “There are purposefully no train depots near them, and each abbey is cut off from civilization for a reason! So unless you enjoy the idea of wandering around a forest until you die of meat deprivation, there’s no point in going,” Twilight said with her nose upturned.

Xavier stood and blinked for a second, “Meat deprivation?”

“You’re an obligate carnivore, right? Like griffins?”

“Omnivore,” Xavier shook his head as he made another attempt to step around Twilight. The mare simply once again got in the human’s way.

“Stop! I can’t let you just go!”

“Is this another heartsong thing?” Xavier bit the corner of his mouth, “Let me guess, if I leave the city without you, I explode?”

“Do you even have a herd?” Twilight backed and reared up, ears pointing forward in order to catch Xavier by the eye.

“I have a? No,” Xavier spat out.

“Then as your lead mare, I can’t let you be as reckless as to throw your life away on something as verboten as researching heartsong,” Twilight closed her eyes and gave a firm nod, letting gravity take over as she landed on her front two legs gracefully.

“Right, so first of all we’re not in a herd,” Xavier said, crossing his arms. “Second, there’s got to be some interspecies provision that you’re not telling me. Some kind of escape clause, because I refuse to believe that I don’t get a choice in the matter.”

“It’s not a matter of choice, we resonate, that’s it,” Twilight barked out.

“Look, I’ve been around the block once or twice. And for me to only hear of heartsong now? Sorry, it’s a little too convenient for you.”

“What is your problem!” Twilight sibilated, “Do humans not have a concept of perfect partners?”

“What are you talking about?” Xavier shook his head. “If you’re talking about one true love? Yes, we have the concept. But it doesn’t apply here.”

“Why not?”

“Did you miss the part where you made me speak in tongues, vomit, and chased after me like a mad mare?”

“Did you miss the part where you tried to bait me into a trap?”

“You caught me unawares twice, you were not going to catch me unaware a third time.”

“Oh yeah, what was your master plan? Trapping me in that pathetic piece of forbidden magic?”

“Oh ho ho yes, here comes the Canterlot unicorn playing the high horse,” Xavier raised his voice in a mocking falsetto tone, “’Oh no, I don’t know what you’re doing, but it’s forbidden and heretical because doctrine tells me so because we have to keep the unicorn tribe in power at all costs!’”

“It is blasphemous, you fool! You should thank your lucky stars that I was there to undo your little, whatever that was.” Twilight snorted as her lips curled.

“Undo? No no no, you just snapped hours of hard work like a twig! Do you know how hard it is to scribe Scorpan’s fifth sigil on cobblestone with an iron binding? And not to mention the ambit work connecting everything so that it doesn’t just shred you to pieces,” Xavier heaved in exasperation.

“Oh joy, I’m so thankful that your impious spell only managed to hold me in midair because you took special consideration for my benefit,” Twilight rolled her eyes.

Xavier bared his teeth at Twilight, “Okay, I’m done here.” Xavier completely sidestepped Twilight and reached for the door, “I have better things to do than get verbally racked by an inquisition of one.”

As Xavier pushed open the door. Twilight closed her eyes as her horn glowed for a split second, only for a black electrical arc to surge from the ring at the base of her horn and strike her on her forehead. Letting out a pained cry, she recoiled from the suppression device. Xavier was already three steps out of the café and back on cobblestone when Twilight caught her wits and charged out the door, “Where are you going?”

“I will not get drawn into a theological argument with you. I have better things to do,” Xavier answered, as he continued to walk down the gas-lit street.

“Stop!” Twilight leapt three times, and once again impeded Xavier. The air was stagnant as the darkness kept its distance from the pair, “You need to listen to me!”

“Listen to what? Someone who’s trying to force a relationship on me? I have work to do.”

“I… Okay fine. If I lead you to an Abbey, will you follow me without issue?” Twilight’s eyes and ears drooped despite looking up at Xavier.

“Why should I trust you?” Xavier’s eyes narrowed at the Element of Magic.

“Before I started singing, I took an oath, one of the promises I made, to you incidentally, despite you not knowing, is to help you wrap up any loose ends,” Twilight looked down. “And this is an obvious loose end for you.”

Xavier raised his gloved hands to his chin and rubbed it, stroking his mangled beard for a few seconds. He looked left, then right, then walked around Twilight. The man stopped on her right side and stared at her hip. He narrowed his eyes before he caught himself about to say something. Twilight shifted uncomfortably as her ears softly folded back. Then he squatted, pointed a finger at the cobblestone, and waved it around. He stopped and sighed before looking back up at Twilight. He was nearly eye level with her fully crouched. Veridian met violet once again as Xavier quietly held his gaze. Twilight blinked and gulped as they stared at each other.

“So, you are the Element of Magic,” Xavier quietly said, his continence abating from a scowl to a gentle mope. A cool breeze passed on by as Twilight’s ears wiggled at the change of tone. So far, everything out of his mouth had been incredulous or combative. But his bellicose verbal stance evaporated. And this was something softer, something gentle, almost tender. Twilight opened her mouth, only for silence to spill out. A light frown took over as she tried to turn away, but found she could not break eye contact. They both froze, but she felt as if a deep part of her Eques wanted to reach out and, with his enveloped limbs, touch her.

Then he nodded.

“Okay, okay, okay, okay…” Twilight quietly repeated herself, swishing her tail and finally breaking eye contact. “We’re going to need supplies. To get to an Abbey, they are always at least 10 days away from the nearest train station on hoof.”

Xavier rose and stepped one foot back, motioning to Twilight back into the brown café. The two walked back in and found their drinks untouched. Sitting back down, Twilight carefully took a sip before continuing.

“The one near Trotstow is the closest one to us. And that abbey is not too deep in Kingdom territory, but we don’t want to walk there via any of the main roads. Thankfully, if memory serves, the train to Derbyshire is only a day or two longer than Trotstow’s main train station. And, fortunately for us, Derbyshire is inside Union territory,” Twilight said as she glanced left to right, looking at the table with a furrowed brow.

“I’m guessing that should mean that after about three days of travel into the wild, we should emerge in Kingdom Territory,” Xavier nodded.

“Right, but abbeys are cut off from nearly all communication from Canterlot in order to minimize knowledge of their whereabouts. So, if we’re even just a little lucky, they won’t know about the sanctio humano and my banishment,” Twilight looked away.

“Banishment?” Xavier cocked his head and looked at Twilight.

Twilight flinched as her ears fell to her side and she slowly turned to face the human across from her, her tail giving a single swish, “Heh heh heh… It’s a long story.”

Xavier looked around, and shot a gaze back to Twilight, “It looks like I have plenty of time.”

“It’s, it’s not something I want to talk about right now,” Twilight responded, taking another swig of her drink and looking away.

“Right, so, let me understand this correctly. I go to kingdom territory, if I get caught, I’ll probably be executed. And if you go into kingdom territory, and you get caught, you’ll be executed as well,” Xavier said.

“That’s um… that’s about the gist of it,” Twilight mumbled as she looked down upon her drink.

“I highly doubt that the kingdom is going to execute the Element of Magic,” Xavier said, enunciating ‘the’, and leaning back. “No way, not after your list of accolades. Permanent house arrest? Maybe.”

“I would prefer permanent house arrest to the last few years,” Twilight quietly said as she let gravity win a little, lowering her head and staring at the floor.

“Well, it’s no fun for me either,” Xavier furrowed his brow and tapped the table with his fingers. The human then drilled into the unicorn with his eyes as he tilted his head and leaned forward, “Though that does beg the question. Why did Celestia let a pawn as powerful as you go?”

Twilight eyes narrowed at the human as her nostrils flared up a bit and ears pointed forward, “I am not a pawn, and as your lead mare, you will not speak to me or Celestia in that manner.”

“Or what? You’ll beat me? Put your stallion in his place?” Xavier mocked, “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought I was your magically appointed coltfriend, perfect compatibility and all. Though given your previous position as Celestia’s personal purple minion, I’m surprised she hasn’t just given you one from her private stock before she kicked you out.” Xavier’s voice raised into a falsetto as he looked up, “‘Here Twilight, try Screaming Bug-eyes here. He has a bold, robust shaft that’s fully textured… for your pleasure.’”

Twilight spat her drink, her tail jumping up for a second as her ears slammed back, then bashed her hoof on the table and shot the human a glare as even her mulberry coat on her face betrayed a flush. A faint aura charged around her horn. Black lightning arced from the obsidian ring, forcing Twilight to flinch. Stuttering, she spat out, “G..G...Grogar's gnarled horns! I will not let you speak of her in that way!”

Xavier's eyes widened, then he shook his head and returned to his previous state. “Aww, look, should we already file for the no-fault divorce?” Xavier lifted a closed fist to his lips and chuckled.

“Div-?” confusion swept Twilight’s face, as her right ear lowered, then she shook her head. “What is your deal?” Twilight locked her eyes on Xavier.

“Maybe I don’t take being forced into a relationship well,” Xavier spat out.

“Elysia, this was supposed to be a joyous occasion, and you’re just, just,” Twilight let out a frustrated grunt, then bit her lower lip as her left ear fell as well, and she looked down at the table.

“Go ahead,” Xavier looked down on the mare and narrowed his eyes. “Say it.”

“The worst.”

“And to think, this could have all been avoided if you had just used the classifieds,” Xavier leaned back in his seat.

Silence lingered over the two as the sound of the barista cleaning the back of the counter echoed throughout the shop. Xavier slowly worked through his drink as Twilight refused to even look in his direction. Her breathing had slowed down to a crawl, and she attempted to restart the conversation again, only to catch herself not once, not twice, but thrice. The human just closed his eyes and ignored Twilight, taking another sip as the clock in the corner worked in circles.

After several minutes, Twilight finally, and softly, spoke up, “We’re going to need a few things if we’re going to the abbey.”

“Go on,” Xavier said.

“First, I’m going to need some flank paint,” Twilight exhaled.

“Flank paint?” Xavier raised an eye.

“It’s how I stayed out of the limelight,” Twilight pursed the corner of her lips. “And I need some of the good stuff too. Preferably Pentimento, it lasts for months and unless you shave it off, or you have the correct counter agent, nothing else, not even water, can remove it.”

“Okay, what else?”

“I’ll need a new saddlebag, the one I have is worn and not suitable for traveling long distances. Also, we’re going to need camping supplies, tent, sleeping bags, compass, map, food, water, something to start a fire with since I can’t cast right now,” Twilight continued.

“I can take care of the fire situation, also it’s just a few day’s trip in the woods, we don’t need sleeping bags or a tent. Towels on the ground should be sufficient for our needs and maybe a large sheet of canvas to keep the rain off,” Xavier stopped for a second, then eye’d Twilight’s front legs. “Will you need lacquer for your hooves?”

“Lacquer?” Twilight suddenly looked at Xavier, both ears raised as her mouth slightly fell, “I’m surprised, you’ve traveled long distances before with ponies, haven’t you?”

“Answer the question.”

“Yes, and we’ll have to stop frequently. I’m not exactly an earth pony nor a pack mule,” Twilight looked down.

“Right, I have a few things to take care of here. Certain parties need to be made aware that I’m jetting, and I need to compensate someone deeply for their patience in dealing with me,” Xavier said, getting up.

“Where are you going?” Twilight getting up as well, “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you go, we have a lot to talk about.”

“We can talk about what you want to talk about later, right now it’s the middle of the night, and we need to start preparing if we’re going to catch the first train out of here. I’ll meet you at the train station at noon,” Xavier said, as he turned around to face the door.

“Listen, I can’t afford nearly anything on that list,” Twilight hissed. “It will take me at least three or four days to sell enough of my,” the mare bit her lip as she looked down on the floor. “Books. I’ll need that much time to sell my books so that we can afford the trip,” she said, the words pouring out of her mouth like vomit.

“No need, I can take care of everything but the saddlebag thing,” Xavier said, as he started walking to the door.

“Wait, what?” Twilight burst out.

“Go sell enough to get yourself fitted with a hiking saddlebag and if you have any money left over, get some food and something to purify water. If you have the chance, try to get both a filter and chlorine treatment. Iodine will also work in a pinch, but in my experience, chlorine is more reliable for the coming fall. That said, it shouldn’t take more than a few hours after sunrise for you to cycle out your goods, right?” Xavier asked, turning to Twilight with a raised right eye.

“R~right, sure, but what about everything else?”

“Let me take care of that,” the human pushed open the door, letting in the summer air.

“And what if you don’t show up!” Twilight nearly screamed.

“I will,” Xavier turned to Twilight and groaned.

“But, but,”

“Looks like you’re going to have to make a leap of faith,” Xavier said as he walked through the door and returned to the city as Twilight stood on all fours and watched as her Eques once again disappeared from sight.