"I remember where I was,
When I came home the first time,
It was Hearth's Warming Eve.
I was wrapped in the love of my herd mates,
but then I looked at the date,
and begged them not to let me go again.
Not to let me go back."
~From the Diary of Corporal Pumpkin Bee found 600km into the Frozen North.

The scent of pines wafted by the unicorn and human as they walked down the dirt road. The sound of birds glittered the forest in flecks of sound either side of them. Twilight looked up at the forest and stopped. The human, who had been watching a viridian patch of grass to his right, bumped into her rump, then took a step back, then looked down at Twilight. A sign that announced that they were 10 km away from Ironhoof drew both party’s attention. Grunting from the bump, Twilight turned to her Ritter, whose eyes were duller than usual.

“We need to go into the forest to hide just long enough for me to apply the flank paint,” she said as the human shuffled in place. Suddenly his eyes jumped up, then looked down, giving a nod.

Twilight turned into the thicket, brushing against the foliage with her coat, and started moving to her right as the human followed. They moved past the tree line, their leaves swaying and into the forest proper. Spruce tree trunk after spruce tree trunk moved past them as Twilight’s hooves would occasionally snap a twig, breaking the silence. The two continued until they found a large wooden stump where sunlight was bathing it, along with several birds and two chipmunks who seemed to be in congress.

“Paint please,” Twilight said as she approached the wooden stump. The critters saw her and scattered into the surrounding foliage as Twilight approached the flat tree root. It was sliced clean, with no sharp ends to imply that the tree had simply fallen over.

The Ritter unstrapped himself and put his canvas backpack to the floor of the forest, the grass lightly crunching. He pulled out ink vile after ink vile he had pilfered, placing several rolls of baby unicorn wrappings on the floor, forcing Twilight to raise her eye as he continued to dig through.

“What’s with the horn wrappings?” Twilight asked as the human continued to search in his backpack.

No reply came as suddenly a long box of cardboard was pulled from the depths of the human’s backpack. He opened it up, and she saw he had acquired the full gamut of colors.

“Impressive,” she said, her violet eyes raised.

“Don’t be, I stole this too,” the human said as he approached her while she adjusted herself on the stump and placed the box next to her. He then stepped away and sat down against the tree on the edge of the clearing’s radius. Leaning back, he stared into the sky.

Twilight exhaled and narrowed her eyes as she pawed at the containers of color. Peering in, she saw there were 12 entire vials of colors, ranging from red to blue to violet.

Picking up the green vial with her teeth, she set it aside as she pawed through the box again to reveal a complementary brush. Putting the brush aside, Twilight put the green vial between her hooves and carefully nipped the cork cap open with her mouth. Taking the brush, she attempted to dip it into the vial three times before succeeding. Then she scraped the excess paint off to the side, and laid herself flat on the side atop the stump.

Folding herself over, she brushed the paint across her flank, but five strokes in, she groaned, then mewed as her eyes widened. Grunting and lightly shaking her head, she returned to the task at hand until a sharp cry of pain emanated from her. She unfolded herself and laid atop the stump, letting the gentle midmorning sun warm her as her side heaved up and down.

Glancing up, she saw her charge leaned back against a tree, his eyes closed now, his chin tilted up. He remained unmoving, almost as if in a trance.

“Can I get some help here?” Twilight said, watching the human remain unmoving. “Some help, please!”

The Ritter was still unmoving, his nostrils flared up as his chest slowly expanded. A pine needle from the tree broke, slowly falling, and crashing into his face before rebounding and continuing its way to the ground.

“HELP, PLEASE!” Twilight yelled.

The human’s eyes fluttered open as he blinked and slightly shifted his head towards Twilight, who stared at him from her side. Pushing himself up, he took 10 steps towards her before folding his hands into his arms.

“Yes?”

“I need help getting this paint on, without being able to use magic, I can’t accurately paint on the flank. I need you to do it with your hands,” Twilight grunted as she closed her eyes.

The human walked around the mare, slowly examining the unicorn as the trees stopped waving in the wind. Blinking once or twice, he finally said, “You left a pretty big green streak across your mark.”

“I know, I know, I know, so just try to paint something,” Twilight grunted as she looked toward the trees.

“You sure about that? You might live to regret it,” the Ritter said as he walked towards his backpack and dug through it.

“What are you doing?” Twilight exclaimed, “I have everything we need over here.”

The human stood up with a parchment, a pen, and a knife. Holding the knife in the grip of his right hand, he slowly approached Twilight.

“Wait, what you plan on–”

The Ritter dropped the knife in front of Twilight as he walked towards her rear and unscrolled the parchment atop her mark. She bent up and turned her head, trying to watch what he was doing. The human lifted the top right corner of the parchment, then put it back down and, with his pen, made a circle. Then he went to the other corner and repeated it. Lifting the parchment back up, he walked past Twilight’s head and picked up the knife. Placing the parchment atop the wood stump, he stabbed into it and started cutting out two circles. Getting back up again, he walked again to her flank and again, placed the parchment atop her, and used the holes he made as a kind of guide. Making two more marks with his pen, he said, “Flip over.”

Twilight pushed herself up as the human shifted to her other side and placed the same parchment atop her rear. Narrowing his eyes, he aligned the parchment again, and made more notes on it before looking at her and saying, “Back to your original position.”

“What you doing?”

The human said nothing as he scrolled up the parchment and crossed his arms. Twilight rolled her eyes as she returned herself back to the way she was, laying atop the stump. The human floated around her and finally went over to the vial of green paint and with his soft claws, almost became one with the brush, easily dipping it in the paint before returning towards her flank. Then, ever so slowly, he painted, after a few moments, he got back up and put the brush into the green vial. Twilight pushed herself up to have a look and saw that nothing happened with her mark except that now her mistakes had a fresh coat of paint on them.

“What the? Are you trying to be funny?”

“Quiet.”

Twilight’s ears folded back as she scowled, “I have no clue what you’re doing, but if you could please take this seriously, I’d really appreciate it. Because if I get caught,–” Twilight yelped as the human placed the parchment back onto her rump, quickly lining up the holes before unrolling it, slapping it twice with his hands. Quickly Twilight snapped up and gazed at him, “What is your problem? Are you asking me to buck you in the-”

Then Twilight saw that what he had done was make an exact copy of the error she had made on the parchment. Unrolling it, he took his pen and began to draw a wavy design; it snaked along the thick piece of parchment before he grabbed a knife and cut it again.

“You’re making a stencil, that’s not a bad idea,” she said, a wave of relief washed over her.

The Ritter walked over to the jars of flank paint and pulled the jars of red, violet, blue, and sky-blue. Wiping the brush with his clothes, he dabbed the brush in the violet jar and found a blank spot on the parchment to brush. Wiping it again, he repeated the action, this time pulling from the red vial. He repeated this over and over again until he lifted the carved parchment up and looked at it, then back at Twilight, then back at it again.

“Is this close enough to your coat color?” the human showed Twilight the scroll, putting it against her coat.

“It’s close, but it’s too dark,” Twilight looked up at her Ritter who had already retracted the scroll and was already mixing paints again. Then suddenly he spat, drooling atop the parchment, Twilight’s head yanked back, watching the human drool saliva from his mouth. Once again, taking the brush, he swirled the mix of substances together and presented his results to Twilight.

“It’s on point, but did you really have to spit into it?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“Did you bring water with you?” the Ritter grunted.

“No…”

“Neither did I. Just for future reference, three parts violet to two parts sky-blue. Slowly add water until it matches your coat,” the human got up and placed the scroll on Twilight’s flank, and went to work.

Twilight could feel the brushwork, the soft strokes, whatever it was he was doing, he was being very gentle about it now. Her ears flickered during the moments that he went against the fur, but even during those moments, she could feel a soft stress emanating within her. She closed her eyes and her expression relaxed as her Ritter gently kept working on her. Then, as soon as it began, it stopped.

Twilight lifted her head to look back as he peeled off the parchment and took a few steps back.

“Let it dry, after that, we’ll work on the other side and get back on the road,” the Ritter said. Twilight nodded and looked away as her bangs leapt up for a second, revealing the horn underneath it. The human lifted an eyebrow and scooted over.

Twilight looked back and saw that he was staring straight at her. Gulping, his soft claws suddenly thrust forward and lifted her bangs, “Wait, what are you–”

He had already lifted the paintbrush and thrust it straight into the middle of her head. Twilight flinched before realizing that he was quickly making brushstrokes around the base of her horn. The urge to jump up slammed into her as the part of her who wanted to see the task through pushed back. “Hey! Cut that out!”

But just as quickly as it began, it ended. Twilight blinked and looked at the tip of the brush, seeing her coat’s color ruffled in between its hairs.

“Oh, camouflage,” Twilight said, blinking. The base of her horn was no longer black, but the color of her coat.

“An obsidian ring is not something to be flaunted,” the human said as he put the brush down and lifted himself up. He left the stencil atop the tree stump and walked back over to his seat, once again closing his eyes and placing one of his long arms atop his knee, and took in the shade.

Twilight waited a few moments before righting herself and pushing herself off the stump. Then a horrible thought crossed her mind, I gave him no direction, I even implied to do anything, what in Tartarus did he paint!? Twilight gave out a yelp that startled the human awake, he blinked once or twice as he saw Twilight turn her front half sideways to get a good look at her flank.

In a split second, all her worries spilled out her front mouth and were swept up by the breeze. Instead of a skull and crossbones, or a large ‘i’ representing the most sensitive parts of a mare, she saw he had integrated the long green mistake she made into his work. Her primary star was concealed using the ratio he had discovered, while the giant green ethereal curtain graced her rump.

He had drawn a Borealis. It’s green snaking shimmer stretching from the top left corner to the bottom right, and intermingled with various shades of her coat. He had even managed to integrate the surrounding five white stars into her new alias. Snorting, she let gravity take hold as the rays of Celestia’s power bathed her in warm light, letting her temporary new brand dry.

The orange light of dusk draped around the horizon as two and three-story buildings stood on either side of Twilight as she led her Ritter into town. Finally, seeing other friendly ponies, Twilight exhaled as she took in the sights. The scent of baked goods floated in the air as long angled red rooftops littered the skyline as windows bled orange candlelight. Nearly every building had a sign hung out. A unicorn was dutifully walking to each streetlamp and casting a spell, giving off an ethereal blue light, forcing the candle inside to glow bright white. A bar was close by, as she could hear the singing of ponies coming to get a pint after a hard day’s worth of work.

“Know of any inns nearby?” the Ritter asked, pulling up alongside Twilight.

“To be honest, this is my first time here,” she looked back up at her human. “Let’s walk for a bit and see what we get.”

Twilight took the lead again as she slithered and worked her way through the streets. A pink confectionery, two bakeries that were already closed, and a toy emporium later, they came across the sound of more ponies singing, coming from a building with a giant ‘Hoof’n Spark’s Inn’ sign hanging above it. Twilight stopped in her tracks and turned to her Ritter.

“Listen to me very carefully, I know where you come from, you’re in charge. But you’re on Equus now,” Twilight said, catching the human rolling his eyes. “You have an issue?”

“This isn’t my first rodeo, I can take care of myself,” Xavier said.

“Listen, maybe back on earth, because you’re a male, you get to make the decisions. But not here. So let me be the face of all this and don’t say anything,” Twilight narrowed her eyes.

“That’s not how it works on Earth. And we’re not a herd.”

“Yes, we are.”

“No, we’re not.”

“You don’t get to make that decision.” Twilight said, furrowing her brow.

“There’s something you’re still not telling me,” the human said, folding his arms towards himself and wrapping them almost like a knot.

“There is no escape clause if you’re looking for one,” Twilight said as she exhaled through her nose.

“Even if there isn’t, I know for a fact that ponies inducted into a herd can also be expelled or leave on their own accord,” the Ritter said.

“Not us.”

“Why?”

“Because we resonate,” Twilight answered, turning away and began to walk into the inn.

“Not good enough,” the human said, frozen and unmoving. “Regardless, I can speak for myself, thank you very much.”

“No, I speak for the both of us, that’s why I’m going to be the one talking to the innkeeper and you’re going to stand back and let me take care of it,” Twilight said, turning to the inn and tapping its green earthen door with her hoof.

“Why? They’re close enough to Manehattan. I probably won’t be their first human,” Xavier said, his arms remaining crossed.

“When was the last time you were drained?” Twilight’s head twisted back, looking Xavier in the eye.

“Drained?”

Twilight turned back to the inn and said, “Let me take care of this. After we both get a bath, I’ll be sure to take care of you before we go to bed. Probably put you in a better mood…”

“What do you mean ‘take care’ of me?” Xavier lifted an eye.

“Do I need to spell it out for you?” Twilight turned her whole body to face the human, then walked up to him and started hissing out the side of her lip, “I’m going to put you inside of me until you ejaculate. Then I’m going to clean up, and you should be in a much better mood,” Twilight turned away and began walking towards the inn.

Xavier stood there, his mouth having dropped as he blinked three times. Then three times more, his mouth moved as if to speak, only for silence to pour out.

“Well, come on. We haven’t got all night, and you’re the one with the bits,” Twilight snorted as she pawed at the door, pushing down the floor handle and, with a click, letting herself in.

The iridescent glow of candles flooded the entrance as immediately to Twilight’s left was a small opening leading to the tavern. The interior was ash wood from floor to ceiling. The sounds of mares and stallions drinking together, along with the flittering chirps of a few griffins spilled from the tavern. To her side, the scent of ale was enough to wrinkle her nose as she looked away and found the innkeeper’s desk. Behind her, the sound of a door opening revealed that the human had finally had enough of standing stupid in the street.

Twilight walked to the stallion at the desk, wearing a green back coat with spectacles pinched across his face. He quickly marked a large tome before looking up and smiling, “Looking to check in for the night? How many?”

“Three, the other one is wrapping some shopping up before we bunk for the night,” Twilight said, looking away.

“All right, that’s three for one, five a head, 15 bits,” the stallion said as he smiled at Twilight.

“How much for two beds?” Xavier said.

Twilight and the innkeeper froze. Twilight's eyes slowly rotated to the voice that just pierced the evening. The innkeeper coughed a few times before beginning, “Is everything right, Sir? Sorry, is everything alright sir?”

“Yes,” Xavier glanced left and right, looking confused.

“Ha ha!” Twilight gritted her teeth as she pretended to laugh. “You’re such a joker! So, um, how much is that again?”

The innkeeper laughed and shot Xavier a look, “Well, well, well, someone’s in trouble, guess that’s why you sent off your other herd member to get supplies?”

Xavier raised an eye at the innkeeper and then looked at Twilight, her lips stretched to the side as her eyes were wide, “Okay, what’s going on here? I just wanted to know how much an extra bed was.”

Twilight turned around with a huge plastic grin, “Ha! See, he’s just being funny, now if you’ll excuse us, we’ll get out of your-”

The innkeeper locked eyes at Twilight and said, “Oh, it’s for you.” The innkeeper tsked at the mare ahead of him, “So what happened? Spend a little too much in your treasury?” He looked at the human then back at Twilight, “Maybe you forgot his birthday? Yeah, you seem the type.”

Twilight lifted her front left leg and recoiled as the innkeeper pursed his lips and looked up at Xavier, “For you, it’s on the house, though if you want me to put her up in the sharing lodge, or on the tavern floor...”

“Just the two beds are fine,” Xavier bit his lower lip, his eyes darting between the irritated innkeeper and Twilight. Her purple face had gone pale despite her fur as her ears had folded back and her eyes just stared off into the corner.

“15 bits, and ma’am,” the innkeeper addressed Twilight. “If I hear a commotion in your suite, don’t think the guard mare won’t enter and escort you out.”

Twilight slowly nodded as she blinked.

“Room 103, upstairs to the left, though I will need to ask you to give me 30 minutes to get the second bed moved in,” the Innkeeper said, again scowling at Twilight.

Xavier pulled 15 bits from his wad as Twilight quietly said, “L... let’s go dear,” as she walked back out the entrance.

Xavier raised an eye as he put the bits on the desk and took the three keys that were offered. Following Twilight, they both exited the inn out into the black and blue night. They took two turns into a narrow causeway before Twilight stopped and looked at the cobblestone, growling at Xavier, “Never, ever do that again.”

“Okay, I obviously hit a faux pas,” Xavier said.

“Yeah, no shit!” Twilight hissed, then snapped to gaze at her Ritter. “I told you to keep quiet and let me handle it!”

“Would you have gotten a second bed?” Xavier asked, unmoved.

“No!”

“What about a second room?”

Twilight took a step back, her ears folding back and once again lifting her left front hoof with a horrified look, then shook her head and exclaimed, “Why would you ever ask for such a thing?”

“Because I don’t feel comfortable with you,” Xavier said, crossing his arms.

“So you’re okay with me taking first watch, but you have a problem sleeping in the same bed as me?” Twilight nearly screamed.

“Did you forget the part where you fell asleep through your watch?” Xavier raised an eye.

“Not the point!” Twilight wheezed, her tail swished into the air. “If you were okay with letting me watch over you, why are you not okay sharing a bed?”

“First, it’s been a very, very long three days,” Xavier said, exhaling. “Second, someone taking first watch just means you’re staying up to keep us safe, not touching or sharing warmth.”

Twilight shook her head, then bit her lip, “Fine, whatever. The damage is done, we’re gone in a day or two anyways. But next time, let me handle it!”

“Will you get a second bed next time?”

“No!”

“Second room?”

“Like I already said, NO!”

“Why not?”

“Because it implies you’ve sent me to second bed!”

Xavier just stood there, looking left to right. Confusion wafted over his face as his eyes darted back and forth.

“Herds sleep together, human!” Twilight said, exasperated. “When a member is exiled from the herd’s bed, they have to sleep by themselves!”

Xavier just blinked, then narrowed his eyes, “Wait, I implied I sent you to the doghouse?”

“The doghouse?”

“Where I come from, when a wife refuses to sleep in the same bed as her husband, she sends him to the doghouse, implying he’s not in her good graces,” Xavier explained, his right hand held forth, open and bobbing for a second.

“So you do have some knowledge of the familiar,” Twilight grunted.

“Okay, how was I supposed to know that asking for a second bed was tantamount to embarrassing you?” Xavier’s lips curled as he raised an eye.

“Did you not read anything about ponies before you came over?” Twilight spat.

“I’ve worked with ponies before,” Xavier shrugged. “I’ve heard hints or whispers of ‘second bed’ issues. But I’ve never had to share a bed with a pony before.”

“Just because you’ve worked with us doesn’t mean you know anything about our culture dimw-” Twilight caught herself, biting her lower lip. “Next time, just let me handle it.”

Xavier just stood there, looking to his left and right, before digging into his pockets. He pulled out the map he had pilfered and handed it to Twilight, “Alright, this isn’t working out. Just point on the map where the Abby is and I’ll get out of your mane.”

“No, I already told you I will take you,” Twilight grumbled.

“No, this is where you zip it Unicorn,” Xavier said, this time he snapped his eyes at the mare. “You want to play family, but you’re already at the edge of slinging verbal insults at me. I’ve gone through that before. Not again.”

“You should have let me handle it!” Twilight growled, her tail flickering once.

“Why? Why would I want to sleep in the same bed as you?” Xavier said, flapping the map about.

Twilight took a step back, and looked at the human, once again, she bit her bottom lip and then looked away, “Do humans even sleep in the same bed as each other?”

“Only the ones that ‘rut’ together, and we’re not rutting, are we?”

Twilight gazed angrily at Xavier, “No wonder you’re so warped. You’ve correlated the purity of familiar sleeping with the purity of sex.”

“How does sleeping with a unicorn work, anyway?” Xavier bit back. “How many eyes are lost a year from accidents?”

“None!” Twilight burst out, her nostrils flared. “Why would you even ask that?”

“Seems like an easy way to lose an eye would be to sleep next to one,” Xavier said.

“Well, I would wake up before that could happen,” Twilight snorted.

“Okay yeah, doubt that,” the human shoved the map back in his pocket.

“Jeez, you’re really in a mood, it must have been years since you’ve last been drained,” Twilight rolled her eyes.

Xavier’s head remained frozen while he stared down at the purple unicorn. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth before he rumbled out, “I am not some peg that needs to be shoved in a hole to be placated!”

“You will not talk to me in such a manner,” Twilight locked her eyes with Xavier’s.

“Or what? You’ll report me to your Goddess? Let me guess, ‘Dear Celestia, I never thought it would happen to me...’” Xavier said sarcastically.

“Watch your tone, Ritter,” Twilight growled.

“Then stop talking about me being drained,” Xavier growled back.

“You have no idea who you’re dealing with,” Twilight barked at Xavier, her ears facing forward at the human.

“Someone who uses a spell to get assigned a fuck buddy?” Xavier gestured at Twilight, “Does Celestia know you’re using magic to get laid? Seems like awful parenting for having a supposed goddess as a second mommy.”

“If you speak ill of her one more time, human-” Twilight took a step forward.

“Then just mark on the map where I need to go,” Xavier said, fishing the map out of his pocket yet again, waving it in her face. “Until then, however? She’s fair game.”

“Why? She’s done nothing to you,” Twilight answered with a tiny whine piercing out.

“D-” Xavier stopped for a second. “Did you not see the state of your own world during the war? Oh wait, I bet you were nice and safe in Canterlot behind ivory walls while everyone else, including two other elements, went out there and did something. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash went out and fought, why not you? Even Celestia and Luna got their shit together long enough for them to at least fail at fighting Sombra so hard, they created a fissure among your kind. But where were you?”

“I was doing logistics,” Twilight looked down, her tail swished as her ears fell back.

“Oh, were you now?”

“It was an important job,” Twilight looked up at Xavier in the eye and furrowed her brow.

“Sure it was. Sure it was, I mean, let’s ignore the moral boost you might have given the mares on the front lines, let’s ignore, you’re the strongest unicorn ever produced,” Xavier ranted as he gestured to the dark sky.

“I’m not the strongest unico-” Twilight started to say before Xavier cut her off.

“Says the mare who, during a fucking admissions test of all things, revived a fucking baby dragon that was probably on the edge of death using unicorn magic, of all things,” Xavier bit his lip. “That’s a few degrees under some kid solving the Riemann Hypothesis in order to find a Minecraft exploit, but I’m comparing apples and oranges at this point.”

“What? A Minecraft?” Twilight looked baffled, then shook her head, “Look, are you through?” Twilight said, closing her eyes.

“Not remotely! I’ve got more questions! Why did Celestia spurn the help of Thorax and his cohort? What about the Diamond Dogs? Why were you still in conflict with them when you had a bigger enemy to fight? Why did the artifacts of the Elements of Harmony lose their shine? Why did you never attempt to even probe for an alliance with the Stormking? Or the Kirin? Why was Ember allowed to die? And why the fuck did you all let the Element of L-”

“STOP!” Twilight screamed, rearing up, only for her hooves to slam down on the cobblestone. “You do not know what I’ve been through the last few years, and I won’t be lectured by you!”

“That’s fine,” Xavier shook the map in front of her. “Here’s your get out of jail card, all you have to do is put an X where the Abby is and you can rid us both of these chains.”

“Why are you so determined to get rid of me?” Twilight snapped back.

“How would you like it if some foal came up to you and started calling you mom? Just followed you around, just expected you to feed them? That would get real weird real quick, right? Being forced into a role that you never asked for?” Xavier locked his eyes with Twilight’s.

“First,” Twilight gave off a gentle laugh, “You would be surprised at who I’ve had just follow me out of the blue, but more pertinent, for your information, Heartsong is different. I’ve told you time and time again,” Twilight shook her head.

“How is it any different? How? Tell me? It is an obvious mismatch in our case,” Xavier said, pinching his forehead.

“Heartsong doesn’t make a mismatch,” Twilight sighed.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. You chose an ancient extinct language in order to prevent someone who might recognize the song you’re singing and reply back. And maybe you should consider that because of my alien nature, you might match up with any human that hears it, rendering the test null for any Homo Sapien that happens to hear it,” Xavier said, slapping the map on his forehead.

“Ha! Gerald didn’t reply, there were other humans at the library, your counterargument doesn’t work, speaking of which, why were you even at the library?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“Gerald?” Xavier shook his head. “I was there trying to figure out how the hell you stopped the pain in my limbs, why were you there?”

“I was trying to figure out where you ran off to, I don’t know much about your kind, so I opened up a study, I–oh Celestia, I left my notes there,” Twilight blinked several times before biting her lower lip.

“Let me guess, you want to do a U-turn just to go back to a city that still might be in flames?” Xavier rolled his eyes.

Twilight stomped her hoof and looked up at the human, “Despite the rumors you may have heard about me, I can differentiate between putting things in order and suicide.”

“What we’re doing is practically suicide, eventually we’re going to enter kingdom territory, and if they’re looking to execute the both of us, well…” Xavier said.

“We won’t be executed on sight. Ponies in the kingdom are a lot friendlier than what your Pro union newspapers say,” Twilight snorted.

“Oh, I’m not worried about salt of the earth ponies. They got bigger things to worry about, I’m talking about the mercenary groups. The freelancers, the bounty hunters. Fuck me if ‘Fang’ and ‘Scale’ are operating there too. They see you and figure you out, it’s a one-way ticket to the stockade for you,” Xavier voiced.

“And if they catch you, though, they’ll just kill you on sight and bring your head in,” Twilight said, biting her lower lip.

“I,” Xavier patted the oblong, covered shape on his back, “have protection. And I’ve dealt with my fair share of unicorns. But,” Xavier pointed at Twilight’s horn. “But you’re fucked. Without your magic, I can’t guarantee your safety. That is, unless you finally decided to stop frolicking about and pop that ring off.”

“I don’t need you to guarantee my safety! I’m a full-grown mare, I can take care of myself!”

“So? When you faced Nightmare Moon and Discord, you had your magic.”

“I also had help.”

“Ignoring the Inverted Alicorn on your resume, you stopped Discord, and according to what we know about him, that should have been practically impossible. And yet here we are. Only because you’re so magically strong. So either you’re lying, someone spread the story that’s gone out of control, or he let you win. Our information came from Kingdom reports, so we can nix the last two.”

“It. Was. A. Team. Effort!” yowled Twilight.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Xavier pointed at Twilight. “Keep telling yourself that he just let you waltz right up to him and stop him.”

“That’s exactly what he did!” Twilight’s mane was frazzled at this point, “He was arrogant! He didn’t think we could stop him, but we did! Together!”

“But how did you survive? Why didn’t he just turn you and the others into,” Xavier wrinkled his arms up and down. “Spaghetti or something?”

“Because he was arrogant and played games with us!” Twilight gasped, exasperated. “He thought it would be funny to break us! And he nearly did!”

Xavier took a step back, but Twilight kept pushing forward, “I can take care of the both of us, magic or no magic!”

“You got cornered by a mountain of an earth mare and you needed me to come rescue you,” Xavier crossed his arms.

“I had things under control,” Twilight glared up.

“Okay, I… I can’t handle this anymore, just put the X on the map, please!” Xavier choked out, “I don’t want to play family with you.” Xavier shook his head three times before lifting a gloved hand that was curled into a fist, and lifted up his fingers as he started enumerating. “First, we can’t have kids. Second, were both disparately different species, so physical intimacy must be near impossible.”

“It’s not,” Twilight interrupted.

“How so? Personal experience?” Xavier raised an eye.

“A demonstration.”

“A demonstration? So what, you go to the strip clubs and ask for, I don’t know, the cowboy special?”

“It was academic,” Twilight snorted.

Xavier just stood there in silence as he glanced at Twilight’s face. He blinked and said, “A joke? Right now?”

“I’m quite serious. You’re just as compatible as a Dragon or a Griffin,” Twilight rolled her eyes.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, how the hell do griffins even work? Don’t they have a cloaca or a barbed penis -”

Twilight groaned, “Yes it’s barbed, which is why the two parties will take special precautions well before they engage in the act. Same thing with dragons. Strange as it sounds, your genitals are more compatible.”

“I don’t want to know more,” the human had covered up to his bruised forehead while blinking. “The point is, this will not work out. You’re too ornery, and I don’t have the patience for you.”

“Well, too bad human,” Twilight said. “It’s no picnic for me either, but I took an oath-”

“What oath?”

“The oath of a Knight to her Ritter,” Twilight said, tilting her head.

“And that means?”

“The oath is simple. Very long ago, those who used heartsong took an oath before they began serenading the world. I’ve promised to see you through any major quests or obligations before we settle down in earnest, you don’t want a bakery mare situation,” Twilight said.

Xavier stood there and blinked for a few moments before looking down at Twilight, “Wait, you mean a situation where the receiver has duties they must perform before they can settle down?”

“Exactly! If you were already in a herd or were to be herded, or something else, my oath demands that I see it through with you,” Twilight gave out a sigh of relief. “So you do know some things.”

“Oh God,” Xavier blinked as he remembered the manuscript that Prof. Quill had found. “Duchess Goldhorn…”

“Goldhorn?”

Xavier glanced down at Twilight, “Yeah, what do you know about her?”

“Well, she was ages after Gutsy’s unification of the pony tribes, and well after the first fracturing. She was the one who standardized a court having a magician retainer to lend their expertise on all things magical. There was a crisis midway through her reign that forced her to go to war against either a Dragon queen who was notorious for sending her own citizens to the gemstone mines as a form of tax, or a Saddle Arabian Princess by the name of Hadar Hazard who possessed great wealth for her time, despite her kingdom being migratory.”

Xavier tried to speak, but caught himself before trying again, “What if she had a son and he was promised to say, either of the two potential adversaries?”

“I don’t, what?” Twilight fumbled.

“And say that this son replied to the heartsong of some other pony, would that be worthy of starting a war?” Xavier said, lifting one of his crossed arms perpendicular, with its palm facing toward his face.

“Well, that might do it. If the Prince was promised to Hadar Hazard, and some other mare claimed the position of lead mare, especially if the arrangement wasn’t a herd, but marriage, depending on the traditions of the time, that might constitute something worthy of going to war over. Especially if recompense can’t be negotiated. It’s one of the reasons why, when using heartsong, the singer must stay within her class. Finding your Ritter at the cost of starting a war?” Twilight shook her head, “It’s arguably better that you never sang in the first place.”

“Like in our case,” Xavier said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Twilight looked up and took a step back, “I don’t think giving me the runaround is exactly on the same level as instigating a war.”

“But I’m not exactly in your class, am I?”

“No… Not exactly. But it’s not like you’re a crim–” Twilight’s eyes widened, “Oh Celestia, you are a criminal.”

“See, perfect reason to just be done with it,” Xavier clapped his hands together. “You can’t stand me because I’m obstinate, and to top it off, I’m a criminal! So if you just mark on the map where the Abby is, I can get out of your mane and you can go back to doing whatever the element of magic does and if you’re lucky, you’ll never hear from me again!”

Twilight closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, “Again, I took an oath to help you with any outstanding quests that you are undertaking. And I’m not going to leave you now.”

“Okay, then what?”

“I’ll need you to come somewhere with me,” Twilight said, waving her hoof. She then looked to her left, away from Xavier before continuing, “Then, probably, you and I will settle down and start looking at prospective herd mates.”

“I can’t produce offspring with anyone here on Equus, so there’s no point in building a harem. If you’re looking at trying to bring in another stallion for reproductive purposes, or even trying to invite a human woman to fill out the spots, on the former I’m just going to fuck off because why the fuck am I even there? In on the latter, I promise you, unless she has a kink, it would be low-key hell for all of us. And even then, I don’t want children,” Xavier hung his head, exasperated.

“What about other mares?”

“What about them? Seems to me as if our quote, resonance, unquote, puts any potential other mare on the back burner. If she doesn’t leave soon, then she’s a sadomasochist.”

“You do realize that herds exist beyond reproduction, right?” Twilight raised an eye.

“Then why would you join a herd? 2 to 4 mares vying for the attention of a single stallion? I promise you, almost every three body system collapses,” Xavier uttered.

“Three body system?” Twilight raised an eye. “Whatever, there’s more than one reason to join a herd. Sometimes you just get along with everyone there, other times everyone helps each other out in special ways.”

“Oh I bet it special,” Xavier glanced away.

“I meant something along the lines of a mare that specializes in farming wheat herding up with a baker who can work with each other to make a better product,” Twilight spat out.

“That’s cool and everything, but you can do the same thing as friends or business associates, there is nothing to be gained by forming that kind of familiar bond beyond heartache and, as far as I can tell, making foals,” Xavier uttered.

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand human, but herding up is a time-honored tradition,”

“A time-honored tradition in torture,”

“Oh, get over yourself. If herds were as bad as you’re making them out to be, why hasn’t society collapsed?”

“I don’t know, but I do know a raw deal when I see it. And forming herds is so raw, it’s practically still bleeding,” Xavier threw up his head.

“This coming from a member of a species who is strictly monogamous?”

“Pseudo-monogamous.”

“What do you mean, it’s fake?”

“Most long-term relationships don’t exceed past 15 years, and that’s probably because the ideal of monogamy is an imposed standard.”

“Wait, so you form herds too?”

“For most of us, it’s more like an incredibly extended orgy on very long time frames. For three years you can be fucking a single mate, and then drop them for several mates over the course of three months,”

“I know about human marriages, I know that two of your kind will try to–”

“Let me tell you about human marriages Twilight, half the time it was the wrong call to begin with. Turns out a lot can change in 10 years, or you married someone who completely changed while being married. And the marriages that do last? Maybe there is some genuine love there, but I’d be willing to bet that either the participants are too afraid of change, or they know for a fact they can’t do any better,” Xavier snorted.

Twilight blinked before spouting, “Then why?”

“Like I said, it’s an imposed standard. I’ve met too many people who carry on about the sanctity of marriage who have been divorced three or four times in their lives,” Xavier answered.

“Divorce?” Twilight blinked.

“Yeah divorce.”

“As in the dissolution of a marriage?” a yellow flash of terror sparked in Twilight’s eyes.

“Yeah, divorce,” Xavier blinked. An awkward silence echoed between the two, despite the sounds of clopping hooves on the street behind them. “Wait, do you even have a concept of divorce?”

“There’s only been one marriage dissolution, ever. And that was because the pony in question was a traitor to their entire kingdom,” Twilight vomited out. “To this day, we don’t speak his name.” Twilight turned and muttered, “Looks like I didn’t know a thing about human marriages at all.”

“An admission of ignorance from you?” Xavier raised an eye.

“Says the human had no clue what’s second bed was,” Twilight snapped back.

“Well, excuse me, Princess!” Xavier widened his eyes. “I’m sorry that my knowledge of pony cohabitation is lacking, especially since I never planned on joining a herd.”

“Well, you’re in one now.”

“Says you,” Xavier retorted. “But we have isn’t a herd. What we have is an agreement that you will get me to the Abbey so I can figure out how to help others.”

“Oh no, this is a herd. The absolute bare minimum, but it still qualifies,” Twilight shot back.

“This is not a herd!” Xavier started shouting, “I will not be forced to sleep in the same bed as you! I will not be forced to follow your lead! And I most certainly will not be forced to have any kind of intercourse with you! I don’t care if it’s because you think I need to be quote, drained, unquote because I’m too uppity or because you’re going through estrus!” Xavier gasped for air, then shrilly bellowed, “I don’t give a fuck that you’re the Element of Magic, I hope you have to chug thornback by the gallon just to make it through one day!”

“You will not speak to me in such a manner! I’m your lead mare because I know better than you! Your use of forbidden magic could’ve gotten you killed, or worse, is proof of how asinine you are!”

“Is everything okay over here?” A voice raised behind the two. A unicorn with a bronze badge and orange coat walked towards the pair. “Sir, is this mare harassing you?”

Xavier looked at the unicorn guard, then looked back over at Twilight. Twilight took a step back as the same face that had come over her at the Inn returned. Narrowing his eyes, Xavier looked over to the guard and said, “It’s fine ma’am, I have gotten lost and my friend here was dressing me down.”

“Dressing down?” the orange unicorn said. She started to walk around the pair, then narrowed her eyes at Twilight. She gazed at Twilight’s hip before saying, “Don’t yell at the male folk in public.”

She then shifted her gaze over to Xavier, and scanned him up and down, “She give you those bruises and cuts?”

Xavier blinked and shook his head, “No.”

“What happened?”

Xavier glanced over to Twilight, who looked up at him, then away, then back at him. The human swallowed before beginning, “I was clumsy, was walking through some brush before slipping down on some mud. Face hit a tree and…” Xavier motioned to the bruise at the center of his forehead.

The orange unicorn narrowed her eyes at the human, and scanned him up and down again. Then looked over at Twilight, “If I see him again with any more bruises, or a wet face, you’ll have an obsidian ring and be in the stockade before the next meal, do we have an understanding?”

Twilight shifted uncomfortably as she glanced up at Xavier, “Yes ma’am.”

“Make sure he gets cleaned up before I see him again,” the guard returned her gaze back over to Xavier. “Sir, if you have a problem or need to talk, there is a station just two blocks down the way. Okay?”

Xavier nodded, once again shifting his eyes to Twilight. The orange unicorn turned around and began to slowly canter off, doing a double take on the pair before the crowd subsumed her.

“I,” Xavier gulped, “I forget that the rules are reversed here sometimes.” He looked down over at Twilight and saw her shaking ever so slightly.

“That… could have turned out bad,” she slowly said and looked up at Xavier.

“Yeah,” Xavier nodded. “The innkeeper’s stance makes more sense now.”

Twilight quietly uttered, “Thank you. For not making this worse.”

Xavier turned to Twilight, “Yeah, I don’t need to spend the next few weeks trying to convince the authorities here that you didn’t beat me. Our timetable will be severely stretched by then.”

Twilight raised an eye at the human, “Timetable?”

“We need to be on the road the day after tomorrow in the morning if we are to try to reach the abbey well before winter,” he said. “Though we will probably still need to acquire thermal protection,” Xavier raised an eye at Twilight. “Assuming you haven’t popped your ring off.”

Twilight groaned, then blinked and asked, “What did you mean upgrades?”

“Upgrades?”

“Back in the tunnel, you’ve dealt with obsidian restraints before?”

“Yes,” Xavier turned to face the stream of ponies on the road, peppered with the occasional griffin. “The ones we initially used were not adequate for unicorns who had some level of magical experience beyond primary education. I, along with four others, developed the precursor to the model on your head right now.”

“You. What?”

Xavier glanced down then back at the crowd, “Our original modified versions possessed a tight hallmark inscription. As magic flowed from the unicorn to the obsidian components that made up the composition of the ring, the tight inscription would siphon off just enough to cast an emulated spell. The sigil work was tricky, but we used properties of the electricity being emitted to sidestep the ring, attempting to suck the magic the inscription managed to collect back into its complex. That said, we never got an operable protective bubble spell on it, nor did we get it to change its size ever so slightly so that it gripped the horn tightly while I was working there.”

“Why?” Twilight gagged out.

“Simple; while we had a few unicorns helping us, Perfidari were all unicorns themselves and we needed a way to neutralize them when we could capture them alive and transport them to an obsidian cell. Obsidian rings were the way to go, but all the variants available to us initially were for common unicorns, ones whose magic education didn’t go beyond the task ether society or their mark assigned them. We needed a variant for unicorns who were strong enough to pop theirs off, though it seems they came up with one that works even against you,” Xavier said.

“So the shock is to stop a unicorn from casting?”

“Yes, since many of the stronger spells out there require concentration and the shock breaks it. Back then there were still a handful of spells that would be fast enough to cast that it bypassed the time the hallmark inscription needed to accumulate its own magic to cast its spell, but it seems as though they fixed that. Not to mention it assaults any 3rd party who tries to take it off now…” Xavier pursed his lips.

“Then how do we get this off? Without me having to crack my horn,” Twilight exhaled.

“Well, as far as I know, there are 4, maybe 5 ways of doing it off the top of my head. First, we can try a chemical attempt, but any chemical we use to dissolve the obsidian restraint is more than strong enough to dissolve the horn with it, though if we were to slowly apply some over the course of months, it might dissolve enough of it that you can just break it off by brute force. But I’m not a chemist, I don’t know what chemicals should be used,” Xavier scratched his nose. “We could try to physically pry it off, long enough tongs maybe, or enough brute force like a drop hammer, but there are probably structural reinforcement inscriptions to try and make it so that the force used to break it is enough to shatter the horn as well.”

“Anything magical we can use?” Twilight grumbled and asked.

“Well, I haven’t been in the loop for a while, but if there is an encoding inscription scribed within the primary inscription that is making sure the ring is tight around your horn, if we can figure out the key, we can convince it to loosen itself and it will just fall off with a shake,” Xavier answered. “It’s probably how they get it off in the first place. Toss you into a fragmented obsidian cell, provide the correct key, ring slips off for reuse elsewhere while the unicorn remains in custody.”

“But the key could be anything,” Twilight mumbled.

“Or we could just find an active volcano with a fuckton of fresh equestrian obsidian just lying near the coast. So much of it will drain even the inscription’s magic stores and forcefully shut off the ring completely, allowing you to shake it off with ease. That or we try to cross over to my universe and just take it off there since anything magical here will fail over there, but getting you across without proper documentation and inspections…”

“Okay so, we are far, far away from any active volcanos so that one is no good,” Twilight started. “Trying to extract it via dropping a hammer on it is insanity, maybe a quick dip into your universe and back?”

Xavier shook his head, “Before you even get near the Corridors, you are examined head to toe and verified as many times as they can before you get loaded up on public transport and moved to the Corridors where they again strip search you.” the human turned to Twilight, “So unless you can get others to vouch for you and a few cities to say, ‘yeah we know this mare’, the Beaumount Accords require they stop you.”

“That’s so much, why?”

“Three principle things, first in order to prevent war with Celestia over the Corridors, at the end of the war, the Union and Kingdom sat down and negotiated what would and what would not be permissible. As much as the Kingdom loathed it, they had to allow free travel from my world to here and Union citizen travel vice versa. But there were conditions, one is fear of biological contamination. As impressive as the fauna in Equus is, nearly everything here is susceptible to poisons, toxins, and venoms from my universe.”

“Wait, why?”

Xavier shrugged, “Our leading hypothesis is that because Equus life focused so much more on magical lines of advantages, it left the more mundane vectors open. Even the most mundane poisons from Earth can kill Equus life, meaning that if some species made it through by accident, if there is enough to start breeding, the local fauna is, to use a colloquial term, fucked.”

“I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“You don’t want to get cane toaded.”

“Cane toad?”

Xavier let out a sigh, then placed one of his hands on his hip, “One of the more isolated continents in my world had the Cane Toad introduced to protect sugar crops. They failed in that task in every conceivable way, but succeeded in overwhelming local biodiversity. No one wants that here, or there. So security at each Corridor on the Union side of things is heavily guarded, while, correct me if I’m wrong, in the Kingdom, they subsumed their Corridors with some kinda amber to prevent movement.”

“Okay, there has got to be a way to remove this thing without hurting my horn,” Twilight grumbled. “You said there might be a way chemically?”

“Maybe, but Equestrian Obsidian is fundamentally different from the obsidian from my world, and even then, chemistry is outside my range of expertise. You’ll need to find someone who has the knowhow to get it off.”

“Rut,” Twilight cursed and looked away. “You said you were doing research before… we got where we are now?”

“Yeah,” Xavier nodded.

Twilight scanned Xavier up and down for a moment and snorted, “Before we leave, we need to see where the nearest active volcano is. Seems to me that’s our only realistic option.”

“Trip to the library, then?” Xavier raised an eye.

“I’m not too sure about the state of non-kingdom libraries,” grumbled Twilight. “I have a feeling without kingdom support, they may have fallen into disrepair.”

Xavier looked down at Twilight, raised his left eye, then looked away, “Only one way to find out. We also need to get supplies I wasn’t able to grab before our departure. Can I assume you weren’t able to grab food or water purification supplies?”

Twilight nodded, “What were you able to grab?”

“Bits,” Xavier said, patting the side of his hip that held a bulge. “I got some necessary medical equipment for myself and the flank paint of course, but no shelter material, nor navigational goods. Oh, I did get you a few vials of lacquer.”

“If I might make a suggestion,” Twilight said, catching sight of another guardsmare patrolling the streets. “We wait to grab any extra maps and navigational tools until after I finish looking through the library. We pick up traveling food right before we leave as well. So sleeping bags and a tent-”

“That’s too much,” Xavier said. “We should only need some sheets of canvas to take care of us.”

“And what if it starts raining and we have no plants to use as structure to support that sheet?” asked Twilight.

“Look, we’re in a moderate zone, it’s not too bad. It would be better if we waited until October to see how far we are before we ask questions such as getting a tent,” said Xavier.

“No, no,” Twilight shook her head. “By then, prices might ramp up and who knows where we are at. If we are in a very small town? Getting a good tent is going to be near impossible. And winter gear will be overpriced for what we’re going to get.”

“But that’s additional weight, if each of us hauls a tent, tha-”

“Each of us?” Twilight let loose a mighty exhale. “Not this again.”

“What?”

“We can’t even share a tent?” Twilight’s ears folded back.

“Problem?”

“Yeah, you’re adding more weight for us to carry because you won’t tolerate being in the same shelter as me!” Twilight bemoaned. “I promise you, I don’t bite.”

“Says you,” Xavier shot back, paused, then wiggled his nose. “How much are you going to need?”

Twilight said, “For a tent? I don’t know the loc-”

“For Thornback, this is going to take a few months at the least, we might as well stock up now.”

Twilight froze, her lips curled inwards. Then she started to walk away, “I’m going to the library. I will start looking at maps tomorrow.”

“Huh? At this time of nigh-”

“I can’t deal with you right now,” Twilight turned and hissed. “So I am going to go to the one place I know can help me. Ill be back at the inn later tonight.”

“Don’t you want to know where I plan o-”

“You know, as your lead mare, I should give a rut where you are going and doing, but right now, I just do not care, so go ahead. Go run off into the sewers like a rat or practice evil magic like a wizard for all I care. But I’m not going to sit here and let some exotic furless mammal, who I shall remind you is my Ritter, who also cannot tolerate even the idea of sharing a bed with me, dictate my own rutting reproductive cycle to me, OKAY!?”

Xavier just stood, watching Twilight as she stepped into the crowd, letting the ponies of the town subsume her, and disappear.

Author's Note

So First off, Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays to everyone, one and all! The hiatus is over.

That said, due to more unfortunate circumstances, and due to the quality of the cut material from And Yet the World Still Turns (Revolution 1), I've decided to leave it to the side for now until I can give it the proper attention it deserves.

Starting today, we enter into a cycle of three weeks per release. Due to how busy I was during the hiatus, I got a lot less done then I honestly wished for. Thus, until the next major turn in the story, released will be at three weeks until I can get more daily time to dedicate to just writing and editing.

In addition, the first part should be resorted into its own particular volume.

That said, I wanted to finish this off and say to those who are returning, thank you for your patience. To those just joining us, welcome! And to everyone a happy new year!