It was a dark and gloomy winter. Normally you would be celebrating Christmas with your family at this time of year. But those days were long gone. You, the human sat alone in an abandoned warehouse upon a wooden crate, and as luck would have it, this warehouse had many MREs. It helped sustain you when the world fell.

But you were slowly running out of MREs, and out of hope. For you haven't seen a single person in months. You saw the lights of civilization fall. From outside you could only hear the howling of the wind. Not only that, but it was freezing cold.

You managed to set up a fire to help ward off the cold. A random pile of junk and firewood was used to create this fire. Your clothes were tattered and worn, and dirty from months of not being washed. You wore two sets of black trousers, with a pair of long johns underneath, along with a pair of underpants under that. You were a white thermal vest, a black t-shirt, a black hooded jumper, a pair of black wooly gloves, a pair of black leather boots, and finally a thick willy black coat. You haven't even washed in a long time, you could smell your own foul body odour reeking off your body.

All you could hear in this dark and gloomy warehouse was the howling wind from the blizzard outside, and the crackling of the fire. You simply sat there doing nothing for the most part, other than occasionally throwing something into the fire to keep it going. Until, eventually you heard a strange sound of flapping wings from behind you, along with the telltale sound of clopping hooves making landfall.

You did not turn to face the intruder. You knew exactly what it was. Soon, you could hear the sound of approaching hooves. Without a word, this apparent equine creature sat down next to you upon her rump. You turned to your left to look upon the intruder, it was none other than Princess Twilight Sparkle. She smiled at you, her large purple eyes glowed in the dark like that of a cat’s. She seemed almost as if she was a cartoon character made real. Her body had a faint shimmering effect to it across her purple form.

You glared at her angrily and pulled out a revolver from your back pocket and pressed it to her forehead. The mare squeaked, her eyes widening in alarm. “Anon, don’t… please, I can help you,” she said in a pleading tone.

You found your hand shaking as you hesitated to pull the trigger. You stared into those large purple eyes of hers with your small human eyes. Her eyes were absolutely adorable. You could see tears, welling in her eyes. Some part of you wanted to believe this was the real Twilight Sparkle, and she wasn't a mass murderer that ate human brains.

“Please, don’t do it. I want to be your friend,” she said softly.

“I don’t want to be your friend! You are not the true Twilight Sparkle!” you shouted with burning hatred in your eyes, before pulling the trigger, and thus the bullet came crashing through her forehead, and out the other side. A blob of purple liquid exploded out from her forehead and landed on the floor at your feet.

For a moment nothing happened, before the blob on the floor then seemingly jumped into the air, and landed upon Twilight’s forehead, merging with it. In quick succession, you could see Twilight’s forehead regenerating within mere seconds, good as new. Her jaw dropped from your violent display, and tears welled in her eyes, and soon came falling down her cheeks.

“Anon, I just want to be your friend,” she said in a low voice, lowering her head, her cute, flappy pony ears drooping sadly.

“No! You don’t!” you shouted as you pressed your right, index finger upon her nose, making her go cross-eyed and giggle as you ended up bopping it. You growled angrily pulling your hand away.“Stop giggling you genocidal monster! You are not cute!”

“Technically you are correct. But we are doing it in a far more humane way than the past genocides you have committed on each other. What we do is entirely painless to the individual. They just close their eyes, and they wake up in Equestria with Princess Celestia smiling down at them.”

“After you sedated them, and drilled a hole in their brain. I saw it happen. It's absolutely disgusting. And then you atomize their body to leave no waste behind.”

“I admit it is pretty grim. But it is far less grim at what the universe has in store for you. You and the very planet you stand on will not last forever. In Equestria, you have the potential to survive the possible end of the universe.”

“Maybe… but maybe… you could have helped us a little?”

“But we are helping you.”

“By killing us all? We had this conversation before. You go to extreme lengths to justify your genocide of my entire species. I'm not sure this conversation is going to be productive. The fact is, you are a heartless, cruel, merciless killing machine that only sees me like a sack of meat to harvest.”

“I don’t see it that way, and you know it. I am Twilight Sparkle, paragon of friendship, and forgiveness.”

“And let me ask you, what would the real Twilight do? Would she stand idly by as an entire species is systematically wiped out?”

“I… I-I… no she would not. I guess you have me there.”

“Twilight, you like science, don't you?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“As possibly one of the last human beings left alive on Earth. Can we have sex for science?” her eyes widened, and her wings flared out. “Tender sex, don’t be too freaky.”

“Of course. I won’t do anything you are uncomfortable with. But first, Mr. Human, you need a wash, I don't want to mate with a smelly human, and I'm going to give you a haircut. I want you to look presentable as you make love to me.”

You sighed. “Fine. just don’t eat my brain.”

She gasped in shock. “Of course not. I would only do that with your consent.”

“Well, this is going to be weird.”

Author's Note

I want to start off small before I fully commit to this story. Like I did with that Robot Pinkie story.