Chapters Chp 1.- From Darkness to Blinding Light
I- I don’t know how long I’ve been here. It’s dark, so dark, and sticky? Am I in hell? I suppose this is what I deserve. But wasn’t there supposed to be a talk with a big man upstairs telling me all I did wrong? Or maybe I was just raised with the wrong religion? Yeah, I figured it was all bs. I just wished I would have done something more fulfilling with my life. Graduated at 19, then spent the next 3 years working a fast food job trying to get enough money to do something with my life, or at the very least move out of my parents home.
But a few stabs later and here I am, in some sort of limbo. I don’t know how long it’s been, but I suppose in hell it doesn’t matter how much time has passed. This is eternity, this is my punishment for doing nothing with my life. Now I’m some weird mass of flesh. I have limbs of some kind, but they don’t move. I can’t speak, nor do I have a mouth to speak. I have eyes, I think, but I have no way to close them. Probably to stop me from avoiding the reality that is now my eternal punis- I AM ROLLING!
Amidst my bruiting I felt the space around me start to move as if I was in some sort of hampers ball. I rolled and rolled and rolled, for what felt like several minutes. The rolling eventually stopped, though I only felt it, and never heard a crash of any sorts. After this commotion, I waited, I waited for something else to happen, but nothing did. I don’t know if hell has some sort of rotation to keep the souls here in a state of unrest, or if this entire situation is something else beyond my comprehension.
So with nothing else happening, and nothing else I could do, I waited. It felt colder now, perhaps hell was abandoned and is now waiting for someone else to take the mantle? Maybe that’s why I’m currently in maddening boredom and not just straight up being tortured. Or, a more mundane thought, so many people die each day that I’ve been put on a waiting list, and this is just to keep me held until it’s my turn. I was expecting torture after death, and have been met with disappointment.
The coldness keeps getting worse, I feel like I’m starting to fade away. Am I going to die again? Is it possible to die in hell? What am I then, just double dead? What kind of maniac makes it so you can die in he- I am being picked up. Finally, some service in this place. As I am being picked up I- hear things. I guess I can hear now. I only hear muffled discussion, none of which I hear proper- OH GOD WHAT’S WITH THE LIGHT!
A blinding light seems to surround me for a brief few seconds before fading. After the light fades I hear the muffles take on what can only be described as approving, if not a cheerful tone. I begin to feel myself be moved around, almost as if my surroundings are being cradled. This is too much, I just wish I could sleep my time away, but ever since I got here I have been unable to sleep, nor have I felt the need to.
After what seemed to be a lot of traveling, I feel the cold that had been growing start to disappear. It is replaced by some sort of soothing warmth that gives me life again. Ok, I think I’m going to put the hell idea on the backburner for now. For its replacement I’m putting up just straight confusion. Ok, I need to start thinking about this.
I’m in a moving orb, I seem to need heat to stay alive, and I have a body, but it seems off- or unfinished. Oh my god I’m in an egg. Oh my god why am I in an egg?! Humans aren’t born from eggs, last I checked. Ok, limb check. I feel, two arms, two legs, I don’t know how many eyes I have, and maybe something else? If I do have extra limbs then I don’t even know if I’d be able to tell, or maybe it would feel so natural that I wouldn’t notice?
I don’t appear to be human, but as long as I have some form of thumbs to work with I think I’ll be alright. As long as the things I think are arms are actually arms. If not, I may be boned. Wait, what if I’m something that can’t speak? Oh god I’m not smart! I can’t build a device that can project a voice. What if what I am is considered a pet? What if they try to cut off my balls?! Wait, am I even a boy? I still can’t see anything in here so I can’t tell.
If science has taught me anything, it’s that 98% of the time in nature females get screwed over by some factor. From hyena females having pseudo-penis to an uncomfortable amount of nature just rapping females. I have thrived on the ability all my life as a male to just roll out of bed and be ready. And I am not mentally prepared for anything different. Is this what happens to people when they die? They get reincarnated based on how they lived in life? I think I read that somewhere, but I can’t remember the details.
But is this mankind's punishment for our mistreatment of animals? Am I going to be nothing more than livestock? Am I going to be eaten? If so, THEY BETTER COOK ME RIGHT! I ain’t having my new life be wasted on some half baked shit! Before I could go deeper into my tirade I felt myself be placed in a different carrier, I think I’m being wheeled around. After a while the motion stops and more muffled speech seems to transpire. Whatever is happening they seem happy with their results.
I am being wheeled again to a different place. When it finally stops I am picked up and placed on something new. This new place seems to have a more stable source of warmth. If I am correct about what I am, then this is an incubator. This is where I will stay until I hatch. But what will I hatch into? From my knowledge there are three things I could be, a bird, a reptile, or some whack mammal. From my current observation I don’t feel very bird-like, but then again what does a bird feel like? I guess only time will tell me now.
I don’t know how much time has passed. But despite me being stuck in this timeless void, progress has been made. I know that I am not a bird, I know that I have two eyes, and I know that I am a male. Well, I actually didn’t find out that last part myself. Over time my ears, or whatever they are, have developed a bit more, allowing me to overhear those around me. During one of their lamp checks I heard a female voice say that I looked like a male. Welp, that’s one worry off my mental checklist. Only a few hundred more to go.
Ok, so for a while there I was leaning more towards the idea that I’m probably a class pet like a bearded dragon or something like that. But last I checked lizards don’t have forward facing legs. Which means I’m a bipedal lizard? Welp, god you’ve done it. I’m thoroughly confused. The reason I thought I was a class pet is because I keep hearing talk about me being used for some form of schooling. From the sounds of it, a kindergarten class. Oh boy. It’s one thing to be a class pet, it’s another thing to be a class pet for a bunch of kids who don’t know how to read let alone keep their grubby hands off the strange creature in the room.
As the days kept going by, my anxiety for what was to come grew. But in my current form I am powerless to do anything about it. Finally however, my day of reckoning comes. I feel my prison made of calcium and carbon be moved from the relative safety of my incubator onto a cart. As the cart comes to a halt I hear a voice ring out loud and clear.
“And for your entrance exam you must hatch open this egg!”
I’M SORRY, WHAT!? This is much worse than what I thought was happening! I’m not just a class pet, I'm a goddamn experiment for some kindergartener! I’m going to die, holy shit, I’m going to die! Who’s idea was this?
These thoughts swarmed through my head as I counted the seconds. Minutes passed by with no change in the situation from either side. Did they call the test off?
“You are running out of time. You must complete this task within the next two minutes or you will fail the entrance exam.”
Oh great, I’m not the only one feeling performance anxiety over here. Please for the love of god just call it off! I can feel that weird egg tooth thing on my mouth right now, I can probably break it open. I just need more ti-.
But before I could finish my thought I felt a sudden blast of energy. It felt as if my entire body had somehow been flooded with electricity. Then I grew in size, and when I say grow I mean I think I just tore the roof off this place. After what feels like an eternity of being left in the dark my senses are flooded with color. I look below and see a city that looks like it was ripped out of a medieval fantasy setting. I see off in the distance a circular rainbow followed by a rainbow trail quickly descending down.
As quickly as it begins it ends. I feel myself shrink to a less destructive size and start quickly descending. My descent stopped mid fall before resuming but at a much slower pace, I was practically flying. After mere moments of my descent I safely land near the fracture remains of what I presume is my egg. As I take a good look around, my months of confusion are met with no answers, and a small purple bipedal hopping about.
“I did it! I got my cutiemark!” The small one squeaked out as two taller versions of whatever she was walked over to congratulate her.
I simply sat there. I struggled to lift my hand to give it a better look. I’m purple, my vision is blurry so I’m not too sure if I’m a good shade of purple or if I’m a lame one. While I was looking at myself and the new appendage I have, a very tall and white version of the creatures around me picked me up.
Now it’s kinda hard to describe these creatures. The one that picked me up is a bipedal creature with wings and a spear like horn protruding from her head. Her face, if I could compare it to anything I’ve seen, looks kinda like a horse, kinda. The creature then gives me a smile and speaks to me.
“Well hello there little one. My, you sure seem frightened. I’m sure a little food and a nap will help you out.” She then looks over to the small purple horse. “Come now Twilight Sparkle. Let us discuss more about how your upcoming school year will look. And then, I’d like you and your family to join me for lunch.”
“Yes, yes! I’d like that very much Princess Celestia!” replied the squeaky child.
“Good, now follow me.” Celestia then proceeded to lead the way to a dinning hall. Along the way she talked to the small purple one known as Twilight Sparkle about the school that she would be attending and the expectations the school had. From the sounds of it, a pretty high class school, having grades ranging from kindergarten to highschool levels. Eventually we all made it to the dining room and everyone began sitting down.
As everyone got settled around the table two new faces joined the group. Another creature with a horn sticking out from his head and a female who also had a horn and wings. Upon entering the room they were greeted by Twilight with a gasp.
“Shinny, Cadence!” She then ran over and hugged them both as best she could with her short arm span. “You’re here too?”
“Of course! What kind of brother would I be if I didn’t come see my sister on her big day? And from the sounds of it, you also got your cutiemark.”
“Uh hu! Look!” She then proceeds to lift up her skirt and show off her rear end to her brother.
I just sit there, raising a questioning eye at the scene before me. I then proceed to look around at who I presume is her parents to see their reaction to this. Nothing, they’re not even batting an eye to this display. If anything they're just giggling at this display of childlike excitement. I’m a stranger in crazytown, and I would like to know when the next train will arrive.
I lean back in my highchair and wait for the topic to change to something I can hopefully understand. It takes a solid 30 minutes for that to happen. When that moment comes they start talking about the events that lead to Twilight getting her cutiemark, such as hatching me from my egg. At that point the discussion moves on to me. The father is the first to speak.
“So Princess, what’s the little scamp’s name going to be?”
Celestia looks over at me and we make eye contact. “Hmm, I think we should let Twilight name him.” She then looks over at the child. “What do you want to name him Twilight?”
Oh this should be good.
“Hmm.” She rubs her chin as she starts thinking of potential names for me. “Oh I know! He’s got those green spikes going down his back. So we should call him Spike!”
Oh the creativity of children.
Celestia chuckles a bit at this and looks over towards me. “Spike, not a bad name. Well, do you like your new name Spike?” She looks at me expectantly. So does everyone else at the table. I lean on my elbow and give a dejected sigh as I look down. Just be grateful, you could have been given a much worse name.
I shrug my shoulders and sigh once again, “Fuck it. Why not.” The words come out of my mouth before I even process the fact that I just spoke. The sound of silverware hitting the side of a plate can be heard before absolute silence takes hold over the dinning hall.
Chp 2.- Introductions and Concerns
So the average human baby develops their vocal cords at around 10 weeks into development. Now because reptiles back on Earth don’t have the ability to speak with humans I have no idea at what point I would have developed such things. With that being said I can only assume that I must have gone through similar development while being in my egg. Now, theoretically a baby should be able to speak from the moment they are born, but because they have to go through a learning process this theory can only ever be a theory, until now.
This brings me to thinking about what other things that I can possibly do; like how fast can I begin walking, can I skip diapers and just use a toilet or does my small bladder still limit me? Do I have to go to school again? God I hope not, I just got out of that place a few years ago and I don’t ever want to go back. Hmm, can I speedrun childhood? Well, maybe not entirely, like my voice for instance. I can try to speak and act like I normally do, but the fact of the matter is, I am baby. My voice is baby. No matter what I do, I will sound like a baby. Not to mention the fact that I have no teeth.
“Di-did that baby just talk?” the white and light purple lady said with uncertainty in her voice.
Oh right, there are other people still in the room.
Celestia blinked back a bit and tried to regain her usual composure. “Perhaps the magic surge gave Spike here the, uh, ability to speak at an earlier age?”
Now I could sit back and feign innocence. Maybe play it off with a few googoo gaagaas. Go on an epic story where I try to find out on my own how I got to this place. Spike by day, human by night. Trying to hide who I truly am for years until I am inevitably caught. Then I can relieve my dark and tragic backstory and finally be understood as the victim I truly am. Or I could just-
“Nah, that ain’t it chief. The only thing that magic helped me do is break out of that stupid shell. Actually, speaking of breaking out of shells.” I then grabbed the table, and with all my little might slammed my head into it. With a small snap the egg tooth falls off. “Ah there we go, now where was I?” I lightly shifted the broken egg tooth away from me. “And let’s say for a moment that is what happened. And in a case like that, you would most likely just copy your memories onto mine. Which, oh god, imagine the existential crisis that would be.”
Shining then points to his own nose. “Um, little buddy, I think you're bleeding a bit there.”
“Oh this?” I gesture to my nose. “This is nothing. Have you ever been stabbed to death though? I have. And let me tell you, it’s not fun. If I had to put it on a scale of how fun being stabbed is. I’d give it-” I then scratch my chin as I think. “A three. So not a whole lot of fun. Being stuck in a state between life and death for months on end in an egg however. Now that makes the concept of getting stabbed not nearly as bad anymore. Hell I’d rather get stabbed to death ten more times than have to go through that bullshit again.”
During my tirade I failed to notice that the family had begun to huddle around each other and watch me in fear. The princess still in her seat, watching me with a look of confused terror. All of them unable to comprehend my mad man’s rant, all of them too afraid to leave the safety of their family’s grasp. All except for one purple child, brimming with curiosity, and a notebook in her hands.
“Spike? Why would anyone want to stab you?”
I then look towards my right side and down at the child from atop my highchair. “Um, well I think they wanted my money.” I then let out a chuckle. “But the funny part is I didn’t even have my wallet on me that day.” I then continue to let out a few laughs. “Oh man, if they were smart they would have just kept me alive and sold my organs on the black mar-” Celestia then interjected herself into the conversation.
“Enough!” She then points an accusatory finger at me. Although the look in her eyes tells me that she’s afraid of me more than anything else. “You will tell me who you are, why you are here, and what your intentions are!” The purple child then seems to float away and be dragged behind the princess.
“Why am I here?” I raise an eyebrow at this. At least I think I have eyebrows. “I don’t know man. One moment I’m on my way to work, then I get stabbed and bleed to death. Next thing I know I’m inside an egg unable to move. Now I’m here.” I jester a finger pointing down. “Intentions? I mean I have been ranting for the last five minutes now. I guess I could use a drink. Besides that, I don’t really have anything better to do, so.” I just shrug my shoulders and rest my head on my right knuckle.
Celestia seems to calm down with this explanation, a look of sadness replacing her previous expression. She drops her battle stance and starts leaning down to meet me at eye level. She then pulls me into a tight embrace close to her chest. If memory serves me right I don’t think I’ve ever been in a hug like this, or a hug period in the past few years.
“Um, what are you doing?” My muffled voice cries.
“I’m giving you a hug.”
“Ok, but why? I was expecting something more along the lines of you punting me. I mean just look at me, I’m perfect punting size right now. Just imagine how far you could send me flying with those damn sexy legs of yours.” I say as a jester to my small form.
Celestia gasps in shock at the suggestion. “You just said you murdered on you daily commute and the first reaction you thought I would have was to ‘punt’ you with all my might? Why would I do such a thing?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Humans tend to do worse things with less motive.”
“A hooman? What is that?”
“Ok well first it’s human. Got to extend the u sound. huuuuman.”
“Huuuuman.”
“Yes, just like that. Now humans, hmm. Do you know what a monkey is, or an ape?” She nods yes. “Ok then, now imagine that, but with no tail and only fur on their heads. Also a shorter color pallet, ranging from blackish brown to whitish tan. There’s also reddish brown in there too but I’m not really all that versed in just how many skin colors there are.”
Celestia looks like she’s scanning her mind over the years of her life to try and find something that fits that description. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a species like that before. Are you sure you weren’t always a dragon?”
“Yeah I’d be pretty sure that I’m not a- a what now?”
“A dragon. Here look.”
A mirror then seems to appear out of nowhere, and with it my new reflection. As a stare upon my new form I judge what I have now become. A mainly purple lizard with few bits of green running down my back and a lighter shade of green going down my stomach. Hey, at least my eyes stayed green, at least some things stayed the same. As I finish scanning myself I then look toward Celestia who seems to have a patient smile on her face. The family that used to be afraid of me now having moved closer to me with looks of pity on their face. I finally point a finger at the mirror and say.
“Are you telling me this chubby purple gecko is a dragon?”
Perhaps it was the way I said it, or maybe it was the fact that it was so out of left field that made them burst out laughing instantly. Celestia held back for a few seconds before she started laughing so hard she started crying. Soon everyone else in the room joined her in her merriment, even the guards. I was expecting the best case scenario to be me becoming a class pet, and yet I am still disappointed. When Celestia finally came down from her laughing fit she spoke to me through light chuckles.
“Yes you are indeed a dragon. What category of dragon,we are unsure, but a dragon nonetheless.” She then picks me up and places me back in my highchair. “Now, I’m sure there are many more questions to be had but first I think lunch is an order.” As soon as she said that, a waiter came up to her right and took her order along with the others at the table. While they did that I used one of my hands to push under my jaw while the other hand was in my jaw as I mashed away at it.
“What are you doing?” asked that other unicorn with wings.
“Testing my jaw strength. So far it’s weak as shit.” I take my hand out of my jaw. “Yeah, I’m probably going to be eating light foods for months.” I give out a dejected sigh as I lean on my right arm.
“Now Spike.” Celestia says to me as she finishes talking to the waiter. “I don’t know how your culture works, but here it is considered rather impolite to use such language around children.”
“I would say the same but I once saw a mother yell and swear at her 2 year old child while I was sweeping. Something about calling her spoiled. I don’t really know how a 2 year old can act spoiled but hey I ain’t a parent. And at least you can have a finger to point and blame when they start cursing too. No having a he said she said case.”
“Well-” I stop her before she can start because I already know where this is going.
“But yes I can certainly try to refrain from such-” I then put on my best posh accent. “Ghastly language from being spread around to young ears.”
This gets a lite chuckle from her and she nods her head in agreement. This is when Shining speaks back up again.
“Um, pardon me, but you never told us who you were before.”
“Hu, oh yeah. I was a nobody. A nobody born in a nobody place doing nothing special leading me to be just one nobody in a sea of nobodys. A name that means nothing to anyone who hears it. I was born a nobody, died a nobody. You there giving me a name is the most somebody I’ve ever been.” I say as I point to Twilight, who can’t seem to tell if that was a compliment or not.
Yeah my family probably moved on without me. Oh shit my internet history. Um, maybe they just sold off my stuff and didn’t look through? No, they would have probably looked through my phone for family photos or something. Just to find a whole lot of porn. Weird porn by their Christian standards too. You know, I wasn’t thinking about finding a way home before, but now I’m definitely never searching for one. Might even destroy one if it pops up.
While going through my mental shame of what my family no doubtably had to look through goes through my head I begin to take notice of the rather shocked and saddened faces looking at me around the room.
“What?” The white and purple mother figure is the first to respond.
“Why do you talk about yourself like that? You aren’t a nobody, not to us you aren’t.”
I give a dry chuckle. “Heh, it’s a little thing called depression. Never goes away and is always there to bring me down. Oh great! I got a new body but I kept all my mental disorders that’s just-” I look at Twilight, and I hold back. “Great.” They look at me with a bit more confusion.
The pink unicorn with wings speaks again. You know now that I think about it, she and the guy she’s sitting next to sound kinda young, maybe even high schooler young. It’s been awhile since I was there so what grade is hard to tell, hell even in school it was hard to tell.
“What’s a mental disorder?”
I freeze both mentally and physically at this statement.
Perhaps they just called it something different here, that would make sense. A completely different universe wouldn’t abide by the same rules as the ones I know.
“Oh, well it’s this thing that affects the way they act, usually in a bad way. Sometimes it starts at birth and other times it can be a sudden thing brought upon by a traumatic event such as the death of a family or a being faced with times of war. That’s just a couple of examples on how it can be caused. Some mental illnesses make it so you see things that aren’t there, make it so when you see things it triggers you into a state of shock, or in some cases make it so your mood changes drastically, sometimes at random.”
As I finish my brief explanation of a massive topic that could take decades to fully explain I look around to a room that looks at me with a slight hint of paying attention but mostly just nodding along. The pink one speaks again.
“Well I don’t think Equestria has such things, at least not that I’ve heard of.” I raise an eyebrow at this.
“What do you mean you don’t have such things. I just watched Twilight rearrange her notebooks 5 times within the past 30 minutes. And everytime she keeps rewriting an entire sentences everytime she doesn’t correctly form an S. That alone just screams OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.”
The mother just laughs at this. “She has a ‘problem’ of being too organized or seeking perfection? Doesn’t sound like a problem to me. If anything I wish my son over there would have some of the ‘OCD’ so that maybe he’d actually have a clean room for once.” Her son Shining then blushes a bit at this while the girl besides him giggles. Wait, blushes through his fur? Are they part chameleon or something, making it so their fur changes based on their mood? No! I need to stay focused, ADHD don’t screw me now!
“Well to you it may seem like-” But before I could finish my sentence the waiters came in with food. Celestia spoke up upon seeing it arrive.
“Well Spike we’ll have to talk about this later, it is truly fascinating, but first I think we would all like to eat.” I sighed internally as the food came in front of everyone at the table.
“Well, I guess there’s no point trying to reason with hungry people. Hunger, despite what many think, hunger doesn’t grow over time. It comes in waves, hitting you at certain times of the day when your brain has gotten used to a schedule of eating on time.”
This is some damn good applesauce.
After the meal the family said their thanks and left to go home. Turns out that pink unicorn with wings is called Cadance and is Twilight’s babysitter. Now that they’re gone my worry grows again, where do I go now? Celestia, whether she was reading my mind or not, began to answer that for me.
“Now Spike, I’m sure all this excitement has been very tiring for you. Allow me to show you where you will be sleeping from now on.”
A cold sweat runs down my body, welp what’s it going to be? A cage, a dog bed, or maybe a bit of both? As she picks me up in a field of, something.
“How did you pick me up without moving?”
“Magic, did where you come from not have magic?”
“Well by some standard magic is just science you don’t understand yet. So if we did have magic we never treated it as such.”
“Interesting, well after you take a short nap I’d love to hear more about where you came from.” It takes a few minutes, but we eventually worm our way through hallways of seemingly same looking doors to one door in particular. A maze of boring looking halls, a design made on purpose to stop any rioters that entered the castle to be able to tell where they were going. “We’re here. Sorry about the sparse nature of the room. We weren't entirely expecting any new guests today.”
I look around the room expecting a small hole in the wall with a dog cage in it, but to my surprise it is anything but that. It is a massive room that would rival half the size of my parents house, at least if we are only counting the first floor.
“Oh, is the room not to your liking? We can have it redecorated later if you want.”
“A dog bed? I would never put another sentient creature in something so degrading.”
We stood there in silence for a solid 30 seconds before I broke it.
“You feel a cold chill just run up your spine or is it just me?”
“I felt it too. Maybe somepony left a window open or something?” We both shrug as she places me on the sea of bed and steps back a little. “Well I have other stuff to attend to right now. If you need anything just ask one of the maids and they will be sure to get you anything you need. But for now please enjoy a rest. Goodbye Spike.” She then turns to leave for the door.
“Goodbyes are for the dead. I’ll see you later.”
Celestia gives me a smile as she turns to leave. “We’re going to have a lot of interesting times together Spike. See you later.” She closes the door.
Ok, review. No knowledge of mental illnesses, no apparent signs of any use of electricity, and the many handmade wooden carvings tell me that I’m living in a medieval time period for sure. No, no ,no. That simply won’t do. I’ve lived my whole life with the luxury of having technology and my fingertips, and I won’t let a change of scenery change that for me. At the very least it appears that they have working toilets and a good idea of being clean, from what I’ve seen at least. So that means I don’t have to deal with that.
I stand up on the bed and check my surroundings. The bed is a solid 2 feet drop. I’ll have to be careful with that. I’ll also have to find a way to climb back up onto the bed. I scan the room and find a nearby chair. Convenient things are convenient. I journey down and start searching around the room for even just a little bit of material. A little bit of what kind of material? The building block of the modern era of course!
Metal.
Chp 3.- Ignite the Engine
You’ve heard it a thousand times by now, the younger generation takes too much for granted. That is very true. They also say that the new generations are getting dumber and dumber. Now despite the fact that basing an entire child’s life on the prospect of what they know and do in their younger years is just a poor way to judge things, the statement just doesn’t stand. Sure there are some dumb people, but the fact of the matter is that people are learning what took people centuries to learn in just a few minutes. That alone makes the next generation smarter than the last because they have a jumping start.
Now back where I come from, I’m considered very stupid, and I would agree with that fact. However, take even some of the most random knowledge you know now and place it back a few hundred years. Now am I expecting to become a king and be praised for the rest of my days as a god for what I know? No, not at all. Nor do I expect my fragment of knowledge to even get me rich. I just want to get an industrial revolution started. Why? Because I’ll be damned if I’m just going to sit around and pretend I can just live a medieval life after living my whole life in technological comfort. Having to sit close to a fireplace on cold winter days because there’s no proper heating in the place. I’m already getting cold and it looks like a sunny day outside.
I was always cold in my past life because of how skinny I was, now I’m just cold again. The more things change the more they stay the same. For now though I’ve put together a pillowcase in a kinda cape I use to cover myself with will look around the room. Pretty nice room I might add, well ok it’s not a room, it’s a goddamn flat if not more. Has it’s own bathroom too, but I don’t feel the need to use it right now. I have however placed a stool near the toilet for when I do need to do so. But back to the scavenger hunt. I need to find metals.
It isn’t uncommon for clothing to have bits of metal or for metal wiring to be in them. Finding conductive metal isn’t hard, it’s finding a magnet to start a basic electrical generator is what I feel will be hard.
—-------------------------------------------
Thanks to the grandfather clock in the room I am able to keep track of time more easily. It is 30 minutes into me working when I finally feel the need to go to the bathroom. A feeling I haven't had in months now, I did not miss it. As I make my way over to the bathroom a thought hits me. Wait, the people who checked up on me said I’m a guy, and because children all sound the same I can’t use my voice to tell if I’m a guy. I look down and I don’t even see anything there. So am I really a guy? Oh right, I’m a lizard. It would be inside my body. Now if I remember correctly lizards store their dicks in their tails and they go to the bathroom with a cloaca. This should be interesting.
I was designed by an idiot.
First, I don’t have a cloaca, I basically function as I normally would as a human. I have the two basic holes for getting rid of waste, well, three actually. A rectum for fesses a bit below my tail, and TWO DICKS for urine. That’s right, two of them. Now because of 2 am random curiosity searches I know why some lizards and snakes have two dicks. It all has to do with what kind of plants they eat and something else to do with them needing to grow back their tails and stuff. I don’t quite remember all the details because biology wasn’t a big subject for me. Some things I found interest in like chemicals and how the brain works on a basic level, but not a whole lot more.
Now another interesting thing I find to note is that the penises are vertical in their positioning, not horizontal like how reptiles normally are when they have…hemipenis? I think that was the word. But hey, at least they still retract into my body like a normal reptile. I can now rest peacefully knowing that whatever god made this world remembered at the last possible moment, that they were indeed making a reptile. I’ll have to ask around if all reptiles are like this or if it’s just a “Dragon thing”. You know what, I’m spending way too much mental brain power trying to figure this out. I need to get back to my original task of metal scavenging and making wiring out of it. At least that stuff should still make sense.
—----------------------------------------
It is still the same, but that doesn’t make it easy. Thanks to some bow ties, bras, and some other bits of clothing I found in the dresser, I am making good on making simple wiring. Now, why does a dresser have both bow ties and bras? No no, don’t look a gifted horse in the mouth. I pause and let out a few chuckles at that one.
I was able to put together a rather janky looking lightbulb. Now I can’t really say if it works right now because I don’t have any magnets to make a simple generator. Wait, now that I think about it, can’t I use salt water too? I mean, it’s not a great generator, but it will at the very least make a lightbulb turn on. Right now it’s more of a test run to show that I can make stuff, and that it can more or less work. The only thing stopping me right now from finishing up my middle school science project here is not having salt water. I could ask for salt water from some of those ponies outside my door, but my anxiety won’t let me. Guess I’ll just have to wait for someone to come into my room instead.
—------------------------------------------
It took 6 hours for Celestia to come back to my room. Could I have slept away some of the time? Yes I could have, but I didn’t. In the end I made two jar light bulbs and three more without glass on them. I say for what little I have to work with, I did pretty well. Even got to clean up a bit after I was done. I put all the clothes whose wires were now gone in a neat little pile too. I probably should have thought of the consequences of basically ripping apart clothing as my first act here in this world. Screw it, I’ll just say what anyone else in my position would say. It was for science!
“Oh Spike! I’m sorry it took me so long. The life of a-” Celestia stands in the doorway with a waiter right behind her with some food. “Um, Spike? What’s going on here?”
“Oh good, you’ve finally arrived. Do you happen to have any salt-water?” Celestia just blinks at me. Her cheery disposition quickly turning to mild confusion.
“Yes, we can get you some salt water. Although I’m not too sure if salt water is good for dragons.”
“Oh it’s not for me. I need to power this.” I point to my danky little light bulb. “Well ok, powering it is a strong word. Giving it a short burst of energy is actually what should happen.”
Celestia then gives a small nod and as she asks the waiter to bring a glass of salt water. The waiter nods and goes off down the hallway. She then turns back to me, looks at the surrounding area and asks a simple question.
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to regain some of my sanity by making sure at least some of the things I learned back in my world are still usable in this one.”
“My world? Are you not from the lands of Equestria?” Celestia said as she raised an eyebrow.
“I mean, have you ever heard of a human?”
“I have not.”
“And humans have never seen, um. What exactly are you?”
“I am an alicorn.”
I just stare at her, dumbfounded. “And that means.” I do a little wave of my right hand, telling her to continue.
“An alicorn is a pony with the combined power of earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns all into one being. Alicorns can only be created and so far there have only been 2 alicorns in existence. Me, and Princess Cadance, you saw her early at breakfast.”
“Hm, yeah back where I come from unicorns and pegasi, hell even dragons were only ever myths. And even if you had both a horn and wings you would still be called a unicorn.” I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know why.”
“Hmm, are you sure there were none where you come from?”
“I mean, there could very well be some around, but we searched the surface of the globe already. We even started looking in space for more life. So far it hasn’t been very fruitful.”
“Space?”
“Yeah, space. You know, the moon and stars up above.” I point out the window. “The place beyond our planet. Up beyond the sky.”
“Oh, you mean the night?”
“Well, somewhat. The night just shows us what the sky actually looks like when the sun isn’t interfering. It shows us the vast lands beyond.”
“Lands beyond the stars?” Celestia also looks out the window. “And your kind has gone to these stars?”
“Kind of, but we’ve only really been able to take pictures. Some pictures being taken from millions of miles away. Powerful stuff.”
“Pictures?”
“It’s like a painting, but it only takes less than a second to take. You can put it in a frame and hang it on the wall and stuff.”
“My, your race must be very technologically advanced.”
“To you, maybe. To us, well, it just is what it is. If anything we consider ourselves behind on the times. Even though we are the ones who are deciding what the future should look like.”
“Are there no other races in your world besides humans?”
“Nope, we got other creatures of course. But none that are sentient. At least we don’t think anything else is sentient.”
“That must be lonely.”
“Not really lonely I’d say. Just, not that interesting.”
There was then a knock on the door. After Celestia asked them to come in, the waiter from before then came in with a glass of water and some salt. Placing it on a little table nearby with the rest of the food before bowing and leaving the room.
“Ah ok. Let’s just see here.” I then scamper over to the table to grab the supplies. Mixing the salt in the water before carefully taking it with me to my setup.
“So what exactly is it you need salt water for Spike?
“I need to make sure that some logic from my world can be carried over. But now is for some moment of truth.” I then gently place the wires in the salt water and wait for anything to happen.
“What is supposed to happen?”
“Um, well.” I look at the lightbulb jar, nothing. I looked over the wiring, truly I could have messed up at any part of this. I’ll just have to try out different wires. Perhaps she was trying to speak to me, but if she was I couldn’t hear it. After the 3rd wire did it finally light up to the surprise of Celestia.
“What is that?”
“A very janky lightbulb, but a lightbulb nonetheless.” Celestia now kneeling down beside me to look and the lightbulb flicker with electricity. “A simple glass of saltwater isn’t going to power much, I need a magnet. Lots of big magnets.”
“And how do you make one of those?”
“Oh boy, this may take awhile to explain.”
—--------------------------------------------------
“Ok, so. You’re telling me that you move the sun around like a cat pawing around a ball?”
“Um, well I guess that’s one way to put it.” I look upon the map of Equestria on the wall and view the relatively small country, about half the size of the United States.
“From what I’ve heard of mythology back home the reason this works is because the world is a flat surface. But as you can see from the diagram over here-” I point to the poorly drawn solar system. “And as disgust earlier my planet goes around the sun. Meaning either your planet is not shaped like the planet I know, or there is a good portion of the planet that is in great disrepair.” I turn to look at her and she shakily holds her teacup. “I don’t know, what do you think?”
“I’m sure everything is perfectly fine outside Equestria.”
“You have no idea what goes on outside the country do you? Well you do look rather young, I’m sure in time you will learn more about such things. How old are you anyway?”
“It’s rather-”
“I swear to fucking god if you dare say it’s rude to ask a lady about her age I will jump out that window. I’m not trying to insult anyone, I simply wish to know your age.” Celestia then stops whatever she was going to say and thinks for a moment.
“1,057 years old.”
I give her a look over, and then I do it a few more times. “Bullshit, how old are you actually?”
“I’m telling the truth. Just ask anypony else, they will tell you I’ve been ruling this country now for over a thousand years.” I just sat there dumbfounded.
“You’re telling me you’ve been running a country for over a thousand years and have never even thought about trading with anyone outside your borders?”
“Equestria has farmland, timber, and mining. What more would a country need from outsiders for my country to prosper?” I put my hands on the sides of my head as a headache started to form.
“Remember earlier when you were talking about having only one race is lonely?”
“Well we of course have foreigners come to our lands from time to time. And we welcome them all with open arms.”
“That’s great and all, but do you have any idea what power there is in trading? The passing of knowledge from one race to another. Cutting yourself off from others is the greatest way to screw yourself over. And hold on, you're a princess? Who's been the lone ruler for a thousand years? Wouldn’t that make you a queen?”
“Well according to old Equestrian law no matter how much time passes I will still remain a princess until I marry. And while I have had my fair share of lovers over the years, I’ve never had the heart to marry someone and watch them fade away through the years.” She then sits there and thinks for a moment. “And from what you’ve shown me today perhaps there is more that we could learn from others. I will have to look into it.”
“Oh and you said there was the other alicorn, Cadence. How old is she?”
“14 years old last I checked. She will be starting her first year of her higher education.”
“Highschool?”
“Oh, I guess that is an easier way to say it.”
“And I’m guessing the little purple one, Twilight I believe. Will be going into, what preschool?” Celestia nods her head yes.
“Indeed, just a couple of weeks now before the school officially starts a new year. And so far Twilight is showing to be a very promising student.”
“Ah yes, my little prison breaker. I should write a thank you letter to her some time.”
“Well once school starts why do you and I go visit Twilight at the school and you can thank her face to face. Oh and about those magnets. I’ll run it by my smith and see if she can do anything to help you. As for an electric charge, hmm.” She sat there and thought about it for a moment. “I can always ask for the help of a pegasus to get a lightning cloud over here to help ‘charge it’.”
“Thank you. Also, could I have some clothes? I’m not sure the rate at which-” I try to suppress a chuckle. “A dragon such as myself will grow at. Also how long do dragons here live. Back where I came from, the ages would vary based on the culture.”
“Oh you don’t have to worry about that Spike, dragons don’t even need to wear clothes in most places.”
“I mean, that’s groovy and all. But I’m cold, which isn’t much of a difference from my past life because I was kinda skinny.” Celestia gave an understanding smile, a smile that I’m quite unfamiliar with.
“Alright, I’ll have a seamstress come by tomorrow to take your measurements. You’ll have your own set of clothes by week’s end.”
“Thank you, I mean it. You’re too kind.”
“I’m sure you’re kind would do the same if I was in your position.”
“Maybe some might have, but not most. Humans aren’t exactly the trusting type. You’d be lucky to not immediately end up in a lab for the rest of your life.”
“You make your world sound harsh. Surely it can’t be that bad?” I return her naïve nature with a solemn expression.
“There are some good people back on Earth. But if anyone ever does something good, whether it be ourselves or mother nature, something always comes to make sure that no good deed goes unpunished. But hey, don’t let a pessimist like me get you down.” Celestia’s face is now taking on a more saddened expression before turning into a small smile again.
“Well either way I’d love to hear more about it in the morning after we both get some rest.” She picks me up and places me into the covers of the absolute sea they call a bed. “Now get your rest Spike. I’ll see you in the morning at breakfast.” She turns and heads for the door, but before fully leaving the room she looks over to the candles that light the room. I then see flames fade away as I see her silhouette leave my vision.
---------------------Two Weeks Later------------------------
The plan right now is to get the generator moving with some good old fashion steam power to keep it moving. If it works properly however, I’ll have to ask Celestia to consider putting a generator on that massive waterfall that hangs over Canterlot. I’m sure a source like that could power a city with little issue.
As I once again look over the generator in its current state I see the light of the sun peak over the horizon. Before I can truly process this I hear a familiar knock at my door followed by the sound of it opening.
“Spike? Oh! I see you're up already, again. I was going to check your room first, but seeing as how I rarely find you there anyway I thought it would be wise to go straight to the workshop instead. Did you get any good sleep last night?”
“Yeah, of course I did. How could I not with such a nice bed?” I then put up a half hearted smile.
“Well I was just wondering. Mainly because I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sleep yet. You really should sleep in some, even if just for a little bit. It’s, not healthy for such a young dragon to not get his rest.”
“I’m fine, really. I got plenty of sleep, more sleep than I ever have even.”
Truth be told, I’ve actually slept in the bed. It just doesn’t feel right to get to sleep in such a nice place. I often just sleep in a chair nearby, which is still very comfortable. I never had insomnia before, but I just might have it now, maybe. I’m not too well versed in insomnia.
“I’m just up early to look over this thing again. Making sure it doesn’t blow up and all.”
“It will be fine, I’m sure of it. I’ve gone over the design with some of my smartest mages. While they don’t exactly know how the machine is supposed to work, they do have their fair share of knowledge involving structures.”
“I sure hope so.”
“Also Spike I think while we wait for the Pegasi to arrive that you should join me.”
“Join you for what?” Celestia gives a proud smirk at this.
“I do still need to thank her for helping me out of the egg. Sure, I’ll join you. But I do need to come back here to make sure that the water is being boiled for the steam. And also the-”
“Spike! Relax, you’ve already done far more work than what is even expected of a stallion in his prime. Let alone a child at your age.”
“I mean, at the age I was before I was pretty much expected to be doing a lot more than I am now. Go to college, get a successful job, you know, stuff like that.”
“Right, you did tell me about this college thing. An interesting idea to say the least. By the way, you haven’t told me how old you were, before the, you know.” She looks down a bit meekly at this statement.
“Oh right, I was 22 when I was unalived.” Celestia’s eyes bulge out a bit at this.
“22?! That’s so young!”
“I mean, it definitely is. But hey, at least I got to live that long. Some people get far less time than I did. I just wish I was helpful before I died.” I was going to keep looking over my machine but before I could even turn my head I was forced into another tight hug.
“I know that right now you can’t eat many things but after the tour today we should go out and get something sweet to eat. What do you say?”
“I mean, if that’s what you want to do. It doesn't really matter to me.” I hear Celestia give off a chuckle.
“You only say that because you haven’t had what Canterlot has to offer yet.” Celestia then fully picks me up and proceeds to walk towards where we need to be for when the tour starts.
—----------------------------
I am now seated in an outside area with a bunch of white tables and chairs. Each table having its own umbrella to keep out the early morning sun. Around each table is what can only be described as the most stereotypical rich people meet up you can imagine. All of the occupants are unicorns from what I can tell. Which makes sense considering this is supposed to be a school for gifted unicorns. While the younger unicorns sit with their parents, many of the older groups have seated themselves with others of their grade. I sit there and watch as I see what I can only assume to be many unicorns finally being able to meet with each other after a long summer break. Someone went on vacation to an expensive place here, someone went to a bunch of musical shows here, you get the point.
“Hey Celestia.” I whisper over to her.
“Yes Spike?”
“I’m not seeing a lot of males here at all. Like I think I see maybe three for each grade. Is it just harder for males to get in?”
“No actually, quite the opposite. You see, our male population is only about 10%. So whenever a male applies here we want to make the most out of it that we can.” Celestia then looks a bit forlorn as she gives a deep sign. “And of the few that even fully complete their studies, few ever pursue anything after that. Many just end up being stay at home husbands.” A light smile then returns to her face. “But what can I say, the home truly is the safest place for a stallion to be.”
It took me a few seconds to process what she just said. “I’m sorry, what was that last part again?”
“Later Spike, I think the ceremony is about to start.” Celestia is then given the all clear by an elderly pony, I think she’s like her secretary or something like that. Celestia then goes up to a podium and begins her speech about the new year ahead of everyone. Now, despite the fact that this is the first time I’ve ever heard this speech, I can tell by just how unenthusiastic Celestia is that she’s done this perhaps a few too many times.
About thirty minutes later the speech finally concludes. When it comes to an end the tour of the castle grounds begins, with Celestia and her guards taking the lead. You know, now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve seen a single male guard. In fact I think I’ve only seen one male in Celestia's staff and that’s the head waiter. While I was thinking about this I finally noticed the weird stares I would get by many of the parents there. In fact the only parents that aren’t giving me looks are Twilight’s parents. Whatever their names are.
Speaking of Twilight, during the shuffle with everyone trying to find their way in line. Each one more desperate than the last to get as close to the princess as possible. I was able to find her and her family.
“Hey, Twilight!” My voice was just barely able to be carried to her ears. When she finally saw me her eyes lit up as she made a B-line for me.
“Spike! I was hoping you would be here. Ever since we last met I’ve been wanting to ask you soooo many questions.” She was hoping up and down with so much energy it was hard to keep up with her. “Oh, I also really like your outfit!”
“Oh, um. Thank you. It’s just a black shirt and pants, with a black coat. It’s not really that interesting.”
“Not a lot of ponies I know even wear black. So I think it looks cool.”
“Well that’s not true I’m sure there are some-” I look around at the others and realize that absolutely none of them are wearing black. Even in pieces of clothing where there should be black. “Oh, I guess you're right. Why is that?”
“Oh, oh! I know.” Twilight was then raising her hand as if she was waiting to be called upon in class. “For centuries now, the ponies of Canterlot have looked up to Princess Celestia so much that they forgo any type of clothing with black in it. To better match her style of clothing.” She then leans in and whispers to me. “Some even dye their fur white to try and look more like her. But mommy said to not tell others that because they get sensitive about it.”
I was a bit taken aback by this information. “I-I see.” I start walking with her in line as the tour begins. “Well on another note I would like to thank you Twilight. For releasing me from my egg. It really means a lot to me. And if there’s anything you need, just ask me and I’ll try my best to do what you need.”
“Weeeellll, you could help me answer these questions.” She then pulls out a massive scroll packed full of notes.
“Oh sh-my. Um, yeah. I can help you with this. Provided I have enough time.” Twilight smiled brightly at this as she handed me the massive scroll.
“So what have you been doing since the last time I saw you?”
“I’ve been trying to get an electric generator up and running.”
“Electric generator? What’s that?”
“Think of it like a magic power source. Except instead of doing magic it can power lights in your home, or make your place warm during the cold months.”
“Wow, you must be pretty smart.”
“Not really. I mean to you I may seem smart now, but just give it time. You’ll see how much of an idiot I can be.” As I say that I bump into a pony right in front of me. “Exhibit A, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” The pony I bump into seemed to be a rather easily irritated mother.
“Ugg, who let their pet lizard in here?” Twilight looked a bit irked by this and was about to speak if I hadn’t stopped her.
“Twilight, it’s ok.”
“But-”
“I should have looked where I was going. It’s my bad. Let’s just continue on with the tour.” I then lean in and whisper to her. “I bet I can get you the closest to Celestia.” Twilight gasps at this, eager to be close to the princess again.
—--------------------------------------
The tour from that point on was going quite well. Even I got to see some new things about the castle, and even a bit of the school building was shown on the tour too. Once the tour was done Celestia then spoke up again.
“Alright everypony, that's all we’re going to show today. I’m looking forward to seeing you all in the coming weeks as we begin a brand new school year. I have high expectations for all of you, and I can’t wait to see what wonders you will learn and find for yourself.”
God these kids haven’t even started and they’re already being pressured with high expectations. I then watch as a guard goes up to Celestia and whispers something in her ear. Her eyes go slightly wider and her eyes find my location.
“Spike, it appears the lightning cloud has arrived.”
“Sweet.” I look over to Twilight. “Hey Twilight, want to watch my machine crash and burn? Or better yet, you can watch me get electrocuted. I’m sure that will be fun.”
“I thought you said it was supposed to make energy?”
“It is, but I don’t know how well it will work. I’ve never made something like this before, and I fully it expect it to go wrong.” Twilight frowns at this.
“I believe it will go well.” I smile at this.
“Such childlike hope. Never lose that kid.” Twilight then looks a bit confused.
“I’m not a goat.”
—---------------------------------------------
“Alright Princess, the best storm cloud Cloudsdale could find. Now what exactly do you need this for?” A rather tomboyish looking pegasus said as she hovered a few feet from the ground. She had tan fur with a light brown main and tail. If I was being honest, a rather boring looking pony compared to most I had seen before.
“Oh I’m not using it. Spike over here is the one who is using it.” Celestia then pointed at me still on a stool near the generator. She looked at me for a few seconds before shrugging her shoulders.
“Alright little dude. What do you need me to do?”
A few minutes of instruction later and we were ready to start charging the magnets. I turned around and looked at Celestia, along with Twilight’s family as they watched me from a safety box.
“Alright, we're going to start charging the magnets. Make sure to keep all metal a safe distance away. I wouldn’t want anything to get sucked in to break the machine.” Celestia then gave me a thumbs up and a smile. “Ok HayBreeze, just put the cloud over here and start slowly shocking the metal.” She did as she was told, but while this was happening I overheard whispers from the box.
“And you say he’s trying to make light and heat with lightning? Princess we already have that. Why would we need something like this?”
“Just humor him with me Velvet. You know how males can get, you need to let them play with their ideas first. Then when something goes wrong, he will have a strong mare to tell him that perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. And then we can all just laugh about it later on.”
The conversation from then on became too hard to hear due to the increase in lightning. I didn’t need to hear the rest though. I now know that there are stakes to this experiment, failure is not an option anymore. God damnit.
“Alright, that should be enough for now.” HayBreeze then releases the pressure on the cloud. I then pull out a smaller piece of the metal and charge it a little myself, before looking at it skeptically. I go over to a box and pull a small iron pin. I place the pin close to the magnet and watch with glee as they stick to each other. “Ok, close it up, it should be good to go.” Two rather muscular looking mares then proceed to close the panels and screw them into place with wooden wrenches.
I’m not exactly well versed in this type of this so I made a perimeter around the area where no metal was allowed. Who knows, maybe a small piece can get stuck to the magnet and fry the whole process. That’s something I don’t want to happen. I then give the hand signal to start letting in the steam. After a few moments we hear the metal inside start to slow move before gaining a faster pace after a few minutes.
“Kill the lights.”
Celestia then uses her horn to snuff out any fires in the room. The room is pitch black, the only sound being made is the sound of the machine humming away. Finally, I gain the courage to flip the switch and watch as a few light bulbs light up the room. I give a huge sigh of relief, it works. I hear a few claps come from the safety box. I look over and see Celestia and Twilight’s family clapping softly to what they see. Twilight not getting the memo at first before quickly following suit after them. They clap but I can see it in Velvet’s face, she’s not impressed. If anything she looks bored, uninspired even.
I simply smile at her as I stare her down through my goggles. Why? Because I’m not done yet. I flick the switch and the room goes dark again. I need them to see what I’ve seen, see what all electricity can do. A few sparks go off in random directions as I attach a few wires to a violin. The next thing they see is several light bulbs in the room light up as an amplified violin sounds throughout the room. I then begin to play one of the few songs I remember on the violin, The Sound of Silence.
The wall behind me is going off like a light up soundboard as I play my song. My song, my harmonious plea to the universe. I am alone, lost in a world that is far beyond my own, and I need you to understand that I will not go quietly into that good night. As I finish my song I do a little bow as I flip a switch with my foot, allowing a few lights to stay on, giving the room a warm feeling. I begin to hear real claps this time. Celestia is the first to speak up.
“I didn’t know you could play the violin.” I shrug my shoulders.
“You didn’t ask. Now I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m hungry. Let’s talk more about what all we can do with this once I get some food.” Everyone seems to agree with this statement and begins following a few guards out of the room and down the halls.
“Well it should be around noon right about now. So we should be able to join the other families for lunch in the gardens.” Celestia chimed.
It was then at this time that Twilight then walked over to me, a page full of notes already completed. She looked around at the others, as if wondering if they were looking our way before speaking.
“I saw you, during the song. I saw the real you.”
“Well, oftentimes people say that good music can really lift the soul.” Twilight just smiled and shook her head.
“No silly. I saw the human you. I saw what you looked like before.” I then stop in my tracks and look at her with mild terror.
“What?”
Chp 4.- Pre School Conversations
Author's Note
Hey, I'm back. Yeah I've been through a lot these past months. I won't bore you with the details, I'll just say that I'm back and more chapters will come soon. As usual correct me on grammar, writing stuff, and story writing stuff in general.
Chp 4.- Pre School Conversations
The sound of silverware clinking against porcelain bowls and plates rings loudly in my head as I sit at our table and think. Normally I would be uncomfortable being in such a setting but for now there are questions that plague my mind. Why is it that Twilight was able to see what I looked like as a human? It appears that no one else saw it, or else they would have brought it up as well. Why didn’t I notice anything? Was it actually a physical change or just some sort of illusion? I say it was an illusion, but what caused it? This will need further testing.
I look at the surroundings around me: ponies eating little to no food to my right, other patrons giving me dirty looks for being allowed to sit so close to the princess to my left. All the interactions one would expect at a get together like this. I then get into a hushed whisper as I speak to Twilight.
“I can’t really think of anything that would have caused something like this to happen. Maybe the music I played had something to do with it?”
“Well ponies often break into song and dance, maybe this is something similar?” Twilight says as she finishes up her mouthful of some sort of hay sandwich.
Dear god, I'm stuck in a musical aren’t I. Except instead of it going through a bunch of different acts and eventually ending it just keeps on going. Eh, this isn’t the worst kind of fate I could be subjected to. I’m still not entirely convinced I’m not stuck in some sort of hell. “So like, are there ponies with musical instruments around every corner or what?”
“Um, no. The music actually comes from;” she pauses and scratches her head for a moment. “I don’t know where the music comes from.”
Well that answers that, I wonder if I can figure out how it works and use it to my advantage? I should probably see a few examples first before I try to create my own.
More time has passed than I released because some of the ponies have started making their way over to a seating area for more announcements. So I scarf down my food like a new recruit at boot camp and follow behind Celestia while Twilight’s family finds their own seats. I find a seat in the back of the stage, with the hopes of not drawing any attention to myself while being here. Celestia then gets up on stage to talk about what to expect from her school’s teachings.
“But don’t take just my word for it, take the words of one my most upstanding student, Sunset Shimmer.”
Celestia’s star student is called Sunset Shimmer? Why am I not surprised by that in the slightest? I watch as she struts up to the podium like she owns the place, only to be momentarily stopped as she realizes that the podium was made for someone much taller than her. A stepping stool was then quickly levitated to the podium so she could see over the thing and see her audience.
“Greetings, ponies of the noble families of Canterlot.” Sunset spoke as she angled herself to better let the natural light of the sun reflect off her white fur, her red hair with yellow streaks really helping to sell the point of her namesake. “I am Sunset Shimmer, soon to be a ninth year at Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. You may have heard of me earlier this year in the Canterlot Papers when I was put in charge of raising and lowering the moon for a couple weeks.”
There was a sound round of applause that came from the audience, a slightly more prideful set of applause coming from I could only assume are some of her family members. Kind of hard to tell who would be her mother though, and no clear sign of where her father could be.
From my seat in the back left corner of the stage I can hear the mutterings of the other families talking about Sunset.
“They say she has been taken under Princess Celestia’s personal wing as her protégé.” A rather refined male voice says in a hushed tone. This immediately got the attention of a woman nearby.
“A protégé? But the princess hasn’t taken on a protégé in over 750 years. This girl must be something quite special indeed.”
“Of course she’s special, she’s from House Phoenix.” A dame voice responded in kind, being followed up by a mix of understanding murmurs and amused hums.
Should I have read Harry Potter? Would information from those books have helped me in this world? Damn my lack of an attention span. Well, and also my parents didn’t want me to read it while I was growing up because it was a book that talked about witchcraft. Then they binged the movies later down the line and had zero problems with it. I also never got around to watching the movies.
I look over at Celestia as she looks on at Sunset with glee. Sunset, glowing with the admiration she has gained with her lessons and the work she has done. Celestia, glowing with pride at the child she has taken into her care and made into what would no doubt one day become a unicorn like no other. At least, that’s what I think is going on. I literally don’t know how anything around here works. I spent so long making a considerably small generator from whatever spare rations of knowledge my brain could some up with for the damn thing.
While I was blanking out about how much blanking out my brain does they seemed to have gone onto one of the teachers from the school, I think they called her Inkwell. The teacher in question was old, how old I can’t say for certain, but old enough to not know where she was at the moment. She also started going off on a war story about how she was there with Princess Celestia to help defend against; shadow ponies? I mean at the very least she got my attention, I could believe her out right, given my circumstance. For much of the adult crowd though, many weren’t sure whether or not to believe her.
It is an understatement to say the least that I will need to start doing some research. Dear god, I’m going to have to sit down and read a book. It sounds hard, it will most likely be hard, but with no technology in sight I suppose I will have less distractions. At least that’s what I’d like to think, you never know with ADHD.
After about twelve more minutes of speaking, the whole ordeal was finally done and people started to converse with others. Most of the children just seemed to either stick with their parents or with the classmates they already knew. As I took a quick glance at the surrounding groups I noticed the floater of the party, Twilight’s family. It appears from the look of things that the family doesn’t have any connections to anyone here. The father is gently tugging on his wife’s shirt to try and que her in that they should leave but she seems to want to at least try to get acquainted with the other families.
Twilight for her part looked much the same, that is until she spotted me again. With a scroll in her hand and smile on her face the poor child was completely oblivious to the student that was walking in her path.
“Oof!”
“Ah fuck.” I begin to make my mandatory waddle towards the downed child and the mildly confused teenager now looking down at her. By the time I get there she has already been helped up and Twilight has levitated a few scrolls that fell back into her bag. The teenager in question who Twilight ran into being Sunset Shimmer. Now Sunset’s expression for the most part is pretty neutral to the small inconvenience, the woman standing besides her who I could only really assume is her mother is a different story however.
“Watch where you’re going little missy.”
“Oh I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
“I could see that.” The woman responded with a huff. She looks over at Twilight’s now nervous family. Without even looking back down at her. “And what, pray tell, what kind of gift do you have that the examiners at the school found so interesting that they let you in?” Twilight's mother was miffed, her Father wilting, and her brother about to get on the defensive, but none were faster to answer than Twilight herself.
“Oh well I don't think the examiners actually said anything about my results, especially after I turned them into plants.” The way she said it with a smile gave me a few chuckles. But both the woman and the surrounding people gave gasps and started taking a few steps back.
“What in Tartarus are you talking about!”
“I turned my parents into plants too, but that was only after I hatched the dragon egg!” Twilight pointed out, clearly not catching the vibe she had just put into place.
“A dragon egg? Now I know you are making up stories, everypony knows that dragons are resistant to magic, especially dragon eggs!”
“Dude, I have literally been standing here this whole time.”
“Ahh!” Apparently she didn’t notice me, maybe it’s the fact that I stand at less than 2 feet tall. “Who’s familiar is this! I do not take kindly to these sorts of jests.”
“Hiiii, my name is Spiiike. And I was hatched about two weeks ago.” This seems to have pinged in the students' heads a lot better than the adults.
“Mother, it’s that thing I was talking to you about two weeks ago. The giant lizard head breaking through one of the observatories!” At this the mother then seems to go from one panic state to another as her eyes dart from me to Twilight.
“Wait, YOU were the magical outburst?! B-but, how?!” Celestia decided that now was the right time to reveal that she was standing just a few feet behind this woman.
“That is an excellent question, one that I am afraid to say that we currently don’t understand just yet. And there she goes.” The woman in question was now unconscious on the garden floor. Celestia then waved over some of the servants to help her off the floor and over somewhere safer. Celestia then walked over to Twilight’s family with an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that, sometimes some of the families here tend to get a bit competitive, which leads to a lot of drama.”
Twilight’s mother just shakes her head with a smile. “We are more than used to Canterlot’s competitive nature, your highness. I just don’t think I’ve ever met someone so, how do I put this? Imposing?” Celestia just gives a nod to this.
“Well that’s just House Phoenix for you. They’ve been the fire of Canterlot for a long time now. Speaking of fires, I believe you’ve met Sunset Shimmer now haven’t you.” Sunset takes this as her que and steps right up to Celestia’s left side with a wide grin on her face. “Sunset here is a fine example of understanding magical control.” She then leans down and whispers something into Sunset’s ear. Sunset nods and then steps away from the group.
I hear something, it sounds like a soft violin playing, but I see no band. As Sunset begins to cast a spell the violin only ever gets a little bit louder. Soon a light layer of orange light comes over the area and it soon morphs into what looks like burning magma. The crowd is left in awe as Sunset moves it around the place like a lava lamp. The other women who were a part of the Phoenix House seemed less awed at the display and more pleased with the work Sunset was doing. The violin slowly begins to come to a close as Sunset gathers the magma into a ball that safely disperses into a few sparks made to look like a sunset.
The crowd gives an applause to this unexpected performance. Celestia turns back to the family and leans down to Twilight.
“And with time you too could learn to control your magic enough to perform great feats of magic such as what Sunset just did.” She then gives Twilight a few headpats as the girl giggles under her. Soon after, the groups begin to disburse and go on home, Twilight’s family says their farewell and leaves. I give a sigh and turn towards Celestia.
“Letting her raise and lower the moon for a couple of weeks? You just wanted a break didn’t you?” She gives a chuckle at this.
“Not quite, I was actually in need of help with moving both the sun and moon during those two weeks because of my heat.” I raise an eye at this.
“Your heat? You’re telling me the princess of the sun needed help with her heat? You're the one who moves the sun, you should know when things get too hot!” Celestia just gives off a good laugh at my statement.
“Not that kind of heat. A different type of heat.”
“Plasma?”
“I’ll tell you about it, later.”
“Yeah yeah, just add it to my list of stuff I need to research about this place.”
“Well luckily for you we have a library in the castle.”
“Convenient things are convenient, well where is it?” Celestia then has the absolute gaul to boop my nose.
“I will show you, after we go out to get a treat, remember?” I rub my nose in irritation.
“I think you did mention that at some point. Didn’t think much about it though.”
“Well I did!” She says in a sing-song way that makes me think that this was probably on her mind for about half of the event. “There is this lovely cattery that you absolutely must try!” I start following a long as best I could with my legs while this mother fucker is skipping like a teenage girl who just got her first kiss in a Disney movie.
—-----------------------------------
“Ok so, I spotted like fifteen pantless dudes on the way here. A couple naked women, and I am now currently looking at a sea of nudists, trying to take a picture with you.” I am now sitting at an outside table at a bakery with Celestia, the umbrella above doing a piss poor job at keeping the sun off my back.
“What’s a nudist?” I facepalm.
“People who don’t wear clothes.”
“Ponies.”
“Fine, ponies who don’t wear clothes.”
“That’s very strange to put a word to something like that, but here in Equestria the vast majority of the population doesn’t wear clothes. Only nobles or fashion designers like to even wear clothes. Most ponies wear something for special occasions but never on the day to day. Which is why I found it a strange request when you asked for some. Tell me Spike, did a lot of ponies wear clothes where you came from?”
“A vast majority did yes, in fact not wearing clothes in public would in most places result in you being arrested. There are certain spots out there where that isn’t the case but for the most part it was illegal. And in other areas some people just don’t have enough money to afford the clothes they need. You see, humans don't have fur coats over their bodies, so in most cases we actually need clothes to protect our skin.” Celestia waits for me to finish as she sips her drink.
“I see, so does the sight of so many naked bodies disturb you?” I sit back and think about it for a minute as I look around.
“Partly I guess, but not in a gross way I guess, but more of a, something is missing kind of way. If I was a younger self I would be perving off trying to get a look at all the girls around me. Maybe start making stupid comments with my friends about who I’d want to ‘get with’. But now, I guess a little bit of that is still there, but for the most part I guess I just don’t care. Although, because of the clear view of anatomy from both sides I’ve gotten to see, I have been alleviated of a pet peeve of mine.” Celestia raises a questioning eye at this.
“How very strange, from the sounds of it you sound more like an adolescent filly than a colt. I wonder if your society has a reverse mindset in some situations. Because generally it’s mares who are seen as the ones to start perving on stallions. But what pray tell is your pet peeve?”
“It’s a long story you wouldn’t be able to understand without a lot of context. But long story short, when people draw other creatures they tend to just put human genitals on them, it seems this place doesn’t suffer from that kind of design logic.” Celestia just stares at me in bewilderment.
“Um, I think I understand what you mean. I’ve seen artists here in Canterlot put a mare’s lower bits on a female griffon and it very much is very off putting.”
“Hey I mean, at least ponies aren’t just having sex in the street right?” I give off a few chuckles and so does Celestia.
“Ah yes, no not since we banned that in Canterlot a little less than 100 years ago. It was just too distracting when you’re trying to make political bills. It’s still a thing in other places though.” She says with a little smile on her face. My face however is a cold neutral.
Dear god I’m stuck in musical porno aren’t I? Now the situation has gotten worse.
“Ok, getting off of the weird subject of creatures genitals and sex. Um, you mentioned griffons, are there other types of creatures here in Equestria?”
“What’s weird about talking about genitals and sex?”
“In most human cultures along with making sure that you cover up your lower regions, and females having to cover their nipples, it is seen as perverse to talk about stuff like sex in public areas, like this one.” I extend out my arms in a waving motion to the crowd of ponies around us. Celestia continued to look at me like a lost child.
“I’m very confused about everything you just said.” I give a sigh as I put my head in my hands.
“It’s a long story with a lot of things that just don’t make sense to even me who lived in it.” She just gives me a smile while more cake is placed on the table.
“We have plenty of time to talk about it, because I think at the very least it sounds odd enough to be entertaining.”
“Oh boy, where do I even start? So there is a lot of men in my world who see Women as nothing but objects to be won over so that they can give them sex and validation.”
“This is already a terrible start.” Celestia says flatly.
“It doesn’t get better from here.”