The Light Within Us

“Hey, Thorax!”

I raised my head from the bunch of scrolls I’d been studying and found Banshee standing before the throne.

“Oh, good morning! How can I help you?”

“I’m not here to ask for help this time,” she said. “I came to tell you about Ocellus’ letter that just arrived.”

“How is she doing?”

“Much better, now that she’s back in school! She says parting with the EEA did wonders: classes are actually enjoyable now and they make much more sense, she got involved in some interesting after-class projects, and there’s much more time to actually spend with friends! She didn’t say anything outright, but I get the impression her self-confidence is growing, too. Anyway, she asked me to tell you she’s happier than she’s ever been and to thank you for giving her such a wonderful opportunity!”

Beaming, I hopped off my throne and hugged her. “Aww, that’s great news! You have no idea how much it means to me to see everyling happy!”

“I think I might have an idea,” she chuckled.

“You still can’t resist hugging every living thing you come across?”

I released Banshee and looked to one of the throne room entrances, where Pharynx stood frowning as usual.

“Uh, hi, Pharynx… Banshee was just telling me how happy Ocellus is to be back in school and how much she enjoys it-”

“I heard. Are you done?”

“Gee, can’t I be glad about something every once in a while?”

“It’s alright, Thorax,” Banshee said. “I just came to tell you that; I don’t really need anything else, so… guess I’ll be going now…”

She trotted off.

“Pharynx, why is it that whenever someling drops by to share something wonderful with me, you turn up and chase them away?”

“You’re acting like you didn’t expect that bookbug to excel in school.”

“I knew she’d do great, but that doesn’t make her success any less meaningful!”

“Just to remind you, she already has parents.”

“So I’m supposed to not care just because she isn’t my daughter? Pharynx!”

“Whatever.” He nodded at the pile of scrolls. “You doing anything that can’t wait?”

“I’m studying infiltrators’ reports to find out what Equestrian cities did to convince the Equestria Games inspector they were the most suitable host. It’s not exactly urgent in the strictest sense, but there’s an awful lot of it, so…” I shrugged.

“It can wait that long. Come.”

“Where are we going?”

He didn’t reply; instead, he just trotted down the hallway and I hurried to catch up. Following him took a while, and though I tried a few times along the way, I couldn’t coax out one single word from him in regard to anything. What was he up to?

Eventually we passed through the weapons factory and made a turn into an annex. His personal workshop, I presumed. A couple of shelves and a curtain positioned almost at the entrance hid the chamber from view- no, hid the wall from view… What?

Ignoring my confusion, Pharynx lit up his horn and undid a section of the wall.

“When did you learn that spell?” I asked.

“A while ago. It was in Chrysalis’ scrolls, remember? Then that unicorn friend of yours gave us the version that doesn’t rely on dark magic, so I would have gotten my hooves on it regardless of the first one. It’s useful; beats having a guard at the entrance at all times, not that it’d stop anyone determined to get in, but they’d have to know there’s something here worth tearing walls down.”

“Fair enough. But why are we here?”

“If you’d stop standing in the doorway and actually go in already, you’d figure it out.”

I did, and I saw it.

The chamber itself had a workbench and some shelves filled with various weapons and shields, in addition to tools, an anvil, a box of raw metal, and a furnace, and some scrolls that I took to be blueprints or spells; that much I’d expected to find. A couple of training dummies stuffed into a corner weren’t a surprise, either. What was a surprise stood in the very center of the room: a crudely-made lifesize wooden model of me, but the thing that Pharynx must have wanted to show me wasn’t the model itself but the assembly of metal plates it supported.

“You made me a full battle armor,” I said, staring at it dumbfounded.

“A prototype, yes.”

“Why?”

“Why…” He facehoofed. “Because you might need it!”

“For what? We don’t wage wars anymore, and not only are we allies with the strongest two of our former enemies, I expect we’ll gain more over time, especially now that Ocellus is making friends with them and excelling at her first steps in diplomacy! You heard Banshee! Ocellus could grow up to become one of the best ambassadors the world has seen!”

“You’re so in love with pacifism that you keep forgetting the diplomatic approach doesn’t work on everyone, Thorax. And you seem to have forgotten that there’s someone out there who wants your severed head on a plate!”

“I haven’t forgotten… but it’s been a while now; maybe she’s cooled down a bit?” I offered, not really believing my own words. Pharynx’s hard stare screamed that never in his wildest fantasies would he even think to consider such a possibility. “Okay, not likely, but if she does show up, I’m sure you and your troops will overwhelm her in no time!”

“Except we may not get to her in time,” he insisted. “Why do you think she’s as good as vanished off the face of Equus for so long? If I know her at all, she’s lying low until she devises a plan to annihilate you without risking getting caught before she’s done!”

I sighed in frustration. “Pharynx, if you expect me to wear that thing all the time on the off-chance that Chrysalis ambushes me…”

“That would be a good idea, yes.”

“I’m not doing it! The very idea makes my carapace crawl, and what will everyone think?!”

“Fine, don’t wear it! I didn’t think you’d agree, anyway!”

“Isn’t that a bit contradictory? You’re not expecting me to wear it, but even I know armor does nothing unless it’s worn…”

“You could put it on when you notice something isn’t right and start feeling in danger.”

“Won’t that take longer than finding you and asking for help?”

“Then teleport it onto yourself! How hard can it be?!”

I stared at the armor again. Could I do it? And speaking of teleportation, wouldn’t it make more sense to teleport myself out of danger?

“Look, fleeing won’t always be an option,” he said as if reading my mind. “You could be protecting someone who can’t come with you, or something you can’t take with you, or simply trying to secure an escape route. If she comes back, you’ll have to stay because the second you’re out of here, she’ll seize the throne and it’ll take a bloodshed to get her out of it. But she isn’t even the only thing I’m concerned about. Remember that last maulwurf? There are those, and the timberwolves, and a million other beasts; and as promising a diplomat as Ocellus may be, there’s no promise her efforts and connections will always be successful. We could still find ourselves in a war no matter how hard you’re trying to avoid it.”

“You really think the day will come when I’ll need it?”

“For your sake, I hope it doesn’t. But better to have it and never need it than to need it just once and not have it when you do.”

I sighed. “Fine, I’ll keep the armor in mind if I ever need it…”

“Good. Now try it on.”

That caught me off-guard. “W-what?”

“If you’re going to use it, it needs to fit you and be comfortable enough for extended wear.”

“Can’t someling else do that?”

“I had Grim take your shape for measurements and basic fitting, but now I need to get your input and possibly fine-tune it if necessary.”

“But I don’t even know where to begin! There’s got to be a few hundred pieces!”

“It looks more complicated than it is. I assumed you wouldn’t want your range of movement to be too limited so I built as many sections as possible from articulated segments.” He took the neckpiece and twisted it a few times to demonstrate, then opened it so I could see the joints. “There has to be some overlap of segments or they won’t provide enough protection, but they still don’t allow as much maneuverability as you normally have. There’s only so much that any armor ever built has been able to do in that regard while still retaining its primary purpose of shielding the user, and it takes some getting used to. Chainmail wouldn’t be as restricting but its effectiveness in warding off spells is very limited, and knowing who we’re potentially up against, I found it senseless to even consider it.”

“I see,” I mused, eyeing the armor more closely. Like he’d said, the articulated segments looked like they’d allow me to move more or less normally, which seemed important because the armor was designed to cover my whole body, not just the head and barrel like the ones Equestrian Royal Guards wore. “I’m going to need some help with it…”

“I figured as much.”

With his help and an unusual level of patience, I managed to get the gist of it. First came the barrel section, complete with an articulated underside and semi-articulated back cover, to which attached a separate plate for each elytron; then he showed me how to attach the leg pieces, then the neckpiece, and finally, the helmet. He’d solved the problem of fitting it over my antlers by making the faceplate completely detachable from the rest of it. I wasn’t especially thrilled about the curved blades that ran along the front of my horn and the outer edge of each antler, but he insisted they could prove useful in a fight unless they turned out to interfere with my magic. Lastly, he introduced the optional muzzle and the switch on the helmet that equipped and retracted eye covers. The latter were see-through, but I opted against them for the time being.

“That’s it,” he said in the end. “It still has a few weaknesses, namely that your wings will be unprotected when open because I haven’t yet succeeded in finding a material that would be sturdy enough to shield them and at the same time light enough to allow you to fly, and your tail is uncovered. I can make an extra plate to cover it, but it’ll be cumbersome and an enemy could grab you by it. Alternatively, you could tuck the tail under the barrel section, if you think that’s comfortable enough.”

“I think either of that would work,” I said after a moment of consideration. “Can I take it off now?”

“We’re only just getting started. How does it feel?”

“Heavy and… cumbersome…”

“Every armor is like that,” he retorted. “What I mean is, does the size fit?”

“I think so…”

“Nothing too loose or too tight on you?”

“No…”

“Nothing pinching?”

“No.”

“Good so far. Now let’s see if it stays like that when you move around. Come.”

I followed him out of the factory and into the public hallways. The armor plates clanked a little as I trotted forward and weren’t getting any lighter, but that was something I had come to terms with and could probably learn to ignore if I ended up needing the armor more often than I liked or would have been willing to put up with. Right now, my problem consisted of the fact that we were in public and drones could see me like this, and in fact did see me like this, and were stopping in their tracks and dropping everything they were doing in favor of glaring at me, some incredulously, some confused, some worried, and most of them afraid.

“What are you all standing around for?” Pharynx hissed and growled at each group. “Never seen a changeling in armor before? Get lost! Don’t you have duties to fulfill?”

Well, at least he was trying… though his efforts seemed to be doing more harm than good.

“It’s alright,” I tried to reassure everyling, with questionable success. “I’m not turning evil or anything, and we’re not going to war; Pharynx just needed my help with something…”

Yeah, I wouldn’t be convinced, either.

Eventually we found an exit to the outside and took to the air.

“Pharynx?” I said after a minute or two.

“Yeah?”

“This armor is awfully heavy to fly in… I don’t think I’ll be able to fly very fast or very far in it…”

“It’s metal; what did you expect? You’ll have to exercise your flight muscles a little more, and by that I mean actual exercise, not chasing nymphs around. Are you gonna make it to ground level or should I be ready to catch you?”

“I think I’ll manage. Where are we going?”

“Training grounds. Don’t give me that look! I won’t put you through combat drills! I already did impact testing with Grim! I just need to see how well you can move in that and whether or not the helmet interferes with your magic!”

“You know I don’t like obstacle courses, Pharynx…”

“I told you, no disciplinary actions this time around, and I’ll let you do it at your own pace.” When I sighed in defeat, he added, “I won’t even yell. Really, Thorax, I have enough grunts to unleash my sadistic tendencies on that I can hold back this time. I’m putting you through it because I need you to be as safe from harm as it’s possible to get.”

I managed a smile. “I know, Pharynx. You always have! Thank you.”

But the obstacle course still wasn’t a bit less unattractive than all those years ago in basic training, and no easier to go through; if anything, the armor and my size made it even harder, and Pharynx acting like a drill instructor wasn’t helping any. At least I managed to shut him up by reminding him of his promise from a minute ago! He really couldn’t help himself, could he? Things got a little easier from that point on, or at least less stressful, even if I did get stuck in a few obstacles to the point where Pharynx had to dismantle stuff to get me out. At least he admitted the armor was to blame this time, not my incompetence.

Then came the target range.

The first surge of magic I directed at a target in accordance with Pharynx’s instructions hit me right back in the head and I stumbled and fell.

“Ow! What…?”

“The spell rebound off the antler blades,” he said, taking my helmet off to bend the said blades to sit a little further away from my antlers, then gave it back. “Try now, but don’t put so much juice into it unless you’re sure you won’t knock yourself out if it happens again.”

“I’m kind of dizzy… Can I take a break?”

“From everything or just from blasting?” Was there a hint of impatience in his voice?

“Well… I’m not exactly thrilled about any of this, but if you insist I continue…”

“I just want to be sure your armor works if you ever need it, Thorax. I guess we can continue tomorrow if you’ve hit yourself that hard, but I’d rather have this done today, now that I’ve cleared the training area so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself in front of the soldiers.”

“Oh… I didn’t realize you halted their training for me. I guess I can manage today, then. What’s next?”

He took out a crossbow from a nearby chest.

I winced. “Uh, you know how I feel about weapons, Pharynx…”

“Yes, but if it comes to needing armor, it’s possible you’ll have to resort to using a weapon to defend yourself or someling else, so get over it. Ever been taught how to use this?”

“No.”

“Might have known… Alright, listen. The quarrel goes here on the stock. This piece of metal in the middle of the bowstring is the locking mechanism. Draw the bowstring by pushing it back with the quarrel’s nock until the locking mechanism clicks and the quarrel sits in its slot. This here is the trigger, and keep your hoof off it until you’ve aimed at the thing you want to shoot, or you’ll risk accidental discharge. Did you get all that?”

“I think so…”

He gave me the crossbow and a full quiver, and I spent a few minutes reluctantly trying it out. My quarrels went everywhere, only one managed to hit the edge of a target, and Pharynx only needed a second or two to realize he was better off standing behind me.

“You’re hopeless,” he groaned after I’d emptied the quiver. “Think you’ll do better with a spear or a dagger?”

“Uh…”

“On second thought, let’s skip it before you gouge your own eye out,” he said hurriedly.

“That’s probably the best decision you’ve made today,” I muttered.

He rolled his eyes and asked, “Are you still dizzy or can we resume the blast-testing?”

“How much longer is it going to take?”

“As long as I need to make sure the helmet isn’t interfering with your spellcasting anymore. Why? Got an appointment?”

“No, I just want to be done with it.”

“Thought as much. Gimme that crossbow before you somehow manage to shoot yourself without a quarrel, and start blasting the targets. Like I said, take it easy at first and go gradually harder.”

I did so, and though the spell hit the target this time, I started to feel funny again.

“What’s wrong now?” he asked.

“I’m not sure… my ears are ringing as if someone stuffed me in a tin can and started banging on it…”

“More interference? Fine, I’ll readjust the antler blades again.”

“Can’t you just take them off entirely?”

“You do realize it’ll be harder to chop the enemy’s head open by headbutting them if I do that, right?”

I recoiled. “Why would I want to do that?!”

“Well I dunno, to save yourself? …ugh, fine, might have known you’d want to get rid of them.” I passed him the helmet and he burned them away with a powerful ray from his horn. “I’ll smooth it out later. Now put it on and keep blasting.”

This time it was much easier, almost as if I wasn’t wearing a helmet at all; I figured the blade in front of my horn was still creating a bit of interference, though not nearly as much as the antler blades, but Pharynx flat out refused to remove it and I only just barely managed to convince him to shorten it a little, which he said he’d do in due course, but first he wanted to see the strongest blast I could muster.

Believing we were almost at the end of the ordeal, I put my everything into it, and though I gave myself an ugly headache in the process, the target was obliterated with a long trail of smoldering ashes extending into the distance from where it had stood.

“Impressive,” Pharynx said, smirking at the display. “Hit Chrysalis unaware like that and you might actually stand a chance against her!”

“I’d rather not have to deal with her at all…”

“I too would rather that you don’t, but we may not have a say in the matter.”

“So, are you satisfied now?”

“Yeah. I’d rather that you didn’t get stuck in those obstacles, but I know it was probably inevitable given your size, and you weren’t as clumsy in the rest of it as I expected you’d be. Except the crossbow. Your aim is downright hopeless even for someone wielding it for the first time, and I sincerely hope it was only a consequence of hitting yourself with the rebound spell, because if it isn’t, I hope you’ll never have to use it or you’re bound to hit everything except the enemy, and that’s not the armor’s fault. I can let you try again sometime when you recover just to make sure, not that I expect you’ll jump at the chance. All things considered, I’ll give the armor a passing grade and use it as a template for the soldiers’ armor.”

“Oh, good,” I sighed in relief and proceeded to take it off.

“What are you doing?” Pharynx suddenly asked.

“You said we were done and I can’t wait to get out of this thing-”

“We’re done with the battlefield testing, you idiot! But you most likely won’t be personally involved in combat unless things turn catastrophic! You’ll mostly be in the background, issuing orders to the troops, planning strategies, or negotiating assistance with other lands, thus only wearing the armor as an additional safety measure! We’re not done until you spend the whole day in it to see if there are any issues with prolonged usage!”

“...you’ve got to be kidding me,” I groaned.

“I’m not. Go back to the throne room or wherever you need to be and continue with whatever you need to do, but don’t take the armor off yet. There’s no point in having one if you won’t be able to resist taking it off after five hours of sitting in a command tent because you didn’t realize until then how uncomfortable it is.”

“But I have to be at the feelings forum this afternoon! What will everyling say?”

“That’s their problem, not yours. Though if you really have to justify your every move in front of them, tell them it was my idea. That ought to shut them up.”

I wanted to argue the matter but knew it was pointless; his mind was made up, and the best I could do under the circumstances was to postpone the rest of the ‘testing’ for a different day, but he’d still make me go through with it and probably wouldn’t leave me alone until I stopped postponing it indefinitely regardless of what other duties it might interfere with. At least nothing out of the ordinary was happening today and I expected no visitors… Better to just grit my teeth and get it out of the way, then.

Word must have spread about what we were doing, as half the drones I came across on my way back to the throne room showed no reaction whatsoever to the unusual sight. It felt awkward to sit on the throne and read scrolls like this, and after a couple of hours, I could only conclude that there was nothing physically wrong with the armor, and the most uncomfortable thing about it was the fact that I’d been made to wear one in the first place, regardless of the plateau being mercifully empty of the other changelings. It just didn’t feel right, no matter how good Pharynx’s intentions had been, or how justified his reasoning was! I hoped I’d never have to use it for real!

The feelings forum passed better than expected, too. The armor didn’t cause a panic or an onslaught of questions, and noling mocked me about it; in fact, only one or two drones present didn’t seem to have heard about it and asked what was happening, and though I tried to keep the explanation short and simple, the rest of the group caught on to my misgivings about the whole thing, which then derailed whatever plans anyling had had in favor of a consoling-and-reassurance session, complete with what might be called hug-resistance testing in Pharynx’s jargon.

Conclusion: the armor was completely powerless in stopping the onslaught of hugs. Whether this feature was intended or an oversight, I welcomed it wholeheartedly!

There was still some of the day left after the feelings forum and I decided to finish the scroll I’d started, and even managed to drop by at the arts-and-crafts session to draw a few sketches before the group wrapped up for today. No playing with nymphs, unfortunately; there was no way I could keep up with them all armored up like this! The day had been challenging enough already and they were going to have to put up with my absence again! Besides, it was almost their bedtime.

Come to think of it, I was ready to turn in early, even though it was just past sunset. I went to my bedchamber and only managed to take off my helmet, glad and relieved the day was finally over, when Pharynx showed up out of nowhere.

“I thought we’d agreed you’d keep the armor on for the full day,” he said.

“I did! I’m going to bed now!”

“I can see that!”

“So what’s the problem?”

“The problem is if you take the armor off, we won’t know if you’ll be able to sleep in it well enough to function normally the next day.”

I stared at him, trying to think of what to say and failing miserably. He couldn’t be serious!

“What?” he retorted. “If there’s trouble bad enough that you need armor, there’s no promise it’ll be resolved by bedtime, and you could easily end up having to sleep armored up in order to increase your chances of staying alive if whatever’s threatening us gets to you in your sleep.”

“You’re making this up just to mess with me, aren’t you?”

“Don’t you remember the three months when I slept like that- oh, right, you were in a healing cocoon then. Look, that’s really done, and anyling with advanced combat training will tell you that it included sleeping in armor at some point. Just because everyling wasn’t doing it routinely doesn’t mean it wasn’t ever done, and yes I realize you’re not a soldier, but if a war breaks out, as the king, you won’t just be a target for enemy troops; you’ll technically be the highest-ranking military official of the Changeling Kingdom. Not me; you. Therefore, you’ll need to be able to do this!”

“So you expect me to armor up for bed for the next three months?”

“Ideally, yes, but I know you’ll never agree to it, so just do it for one night, just to see what it’s like so you’ll know what to expect if you ever need to do it for real. One night; that’s all I’m asking.”

I groaned. “Okay, fine. One night. But I’m taking the armor off in the morning and putting it in storage until I actually need it, and I don’t care what you say!”

Needless to say, it was a long and restless night, full of tossing and turning and failing to drift off into dreamland, and I was so exhausted the next day that I passed out for half an afternoon, nearly sending the hive into mass panic. Never again, Pharynx!