A DIFFERENT KIND OF EVIL

A DIFFERENT KIND OF EVIL
MLP:FIM FANFIC
CHAPTER 5:

I have no idea how long I was out, probably not that long, the sun was still up, but you can probably guess I wasn’t in a good mood.

I opened my eyes, groaning and rubbing my head, and was instantly in the tightest hug I’ve ever experienced. Applejack had me by the neck, almost choking me, and she was crying. “Oh, thank goodness! You’re alive! Ah was so worried... ya stopped breathin... and ah tried to help, but...” I rolled onto my side as she trailed off. She loosened her grip as I did. I spit and coughed out a shitload of blood. Great, just FUCKING great! I bit my tongue. Wait, no I didn’t... OW! I did, and it was already healing. Score for the speed-heal.

I’ll put this simply. Blood was drawn, from me. Now I was on the fucking warpath. I was seething when I got up, and every few seconds I got more pissed off. Applejack put a hoof on my neck, which I actually didn’t feel that much, what I did feel was stinging. She quickly removed it and we both stared at it. It was dripping blood. Apparently, their little trick removed my vest, sent me through the door, through a cart, and skidding on my back for fifteen or twenty feet until my head connected with a lamp post and stopped me, my vest actually landing next to me. My back and the back of my neck had a fucking pile of deep gashes and scratches on them, bleeding badly. Not my day for good health. I absolutely lost it. “THAT DAMN MOTHERFUCKER!!!” I turned to the mostly missing library doorway and screamed “GET OUT HERE YOU FLAMING BAG OF SHIT!” as loud as I could, strapping my vest back on at the same time.

There were four royal guards standing by the mostly missing doorway. Big ones. Celestia and Luna were standing right behind them. One of the guards, a dark grey Pegasus, spoke as all of the guards were advancing on me. “Take your leave, before we make you.” Applejack was bouncing around me trying to calm me down. As much as I hated to, I ignored her. “Ah ain’t goin’ nowhere...” I was standing there, with one evil grin on my face, blood dripping off of me or running down my leg pretty badly, staring down four royal guards, the biggest one being the tiniest bit smaller than me. I was looking for a fight, I needed a fight. I pointed at the biggest guard and continued speaking. “...but ah will take a piece of him.” He looked ready to scrap. They all did. The big one started walking towards me and the grey one replied. “A piece you will have.”

I got into battle stance, and this weird whine started emanating from nowhere. An electric whine, like on Ironman when he charges up his repulsors, only a lot more drawn out. Applejack took on a seriously horrified look and backed off. The girls in the library finally made their way out, took on the same look, and backed against a wall. The guards backed up too. Even Celestia and Luna looked scared. Applejack whispered just loud enough for me to hear. “Woah, Nelly...”

I looked at her, and she backed up more. “What is it?” she swallowed and walked forward a little, she knew I would never hurt her, it just took her a second to remember. She still kept her distance, she was so scared she sounded like Fluttershy with an accent. “Y-y-ya’ll... ya’ll are... g-glowin.” I looked at a hoof, I didn’t see it. Applejack clarified for me. “Yer hair... and yer eyes. They’re glowin blue.”

I looked back to my hoof and started thinking. If I could change from pony to human just by thinking the word, this should be similar. I imagined my entire right foreleg covered in electricity, like I saw when that spell was being cast. Much to my enjoyment, it worked. It worked very well. My entire foreleg was wrapped in a web of lightning, cracking, popping, and buzzing. I imagined it stopping, and it did. I looked to my back and all the blood that was dripping off of me. Much to my surprise, the small wounds had already mostly healed up, but the big ones were still pretty bad. I imagined that healing. It didn’t work. Electrical sparks arced across the wounds, but they didn’t close, so I was still covered in bloody wounds. I imagined my hair and eyes going back to the way they were and pretty much powering down, that worked. I thought of powering back up and electricity arcing in my hair, just to look cool. Great, that worked, now for the fun stuff.

Don’t ask me why, but I turned human. I flicked my hand out thinking pretty much bright blue energy sword, only more like predator where they both shoot out from the top of his arm. I was giggling happy when two big solid electricity blades shot out the top of my right arm, making the energy sword noise. FSSSSSSHHH!

I remembered the situation soon enough, AFTER A FUCKING WONDERBOLT TACKLED ME!!! I rolled over, flicked her off, and rolled back onto my feet ready to fight, like a fucking ninja. She was an orange haired, and judging by the patches of her coat I could see, orange coated Pegasus mare. Two more landed on either side of her, one with blue hair, one with yellow hair, both ready to fight. I realised who that mare was and pointed at her, wiping blood from my mouth. (Good hit) “You’re Spitfire, right?” She nodded, getting into battle stance herself. “Yeah, why?” I lowered my arms and ended the blades. So fucking cool! “I’m not gonna fight you.” Thinking about it, I turned to the guards, just in time to catch a hoof to the jaw. Fucking sucker-punched.

I was calmed down a fair bit, but that set me raging again. I turned pony, and kicked the shit out of that dude. Tackled him into part of the cart I flew through, smashed his head through it, punched him in the ribs probably twenty times as hard as I could, and threw him at the other guards, knocking them all on their asses. The wonderbolt with the yellow hair launched at me. I turned human, stuck my hand out, caught him by the neck, and pinned him against a wall, putting my glock to his chin. “Try it! Ah dare ya!” Yeah, I was pissed. Applejack and Vinyl ran up and started screaming at me to let him go, tears in their eyes. “Come on! Don’t do this!” My pissation was replaced with kind of a sorry feeling, and I dropped him. He hit the floor wheezing and hacking. I felt really bad. Not for the fight, for making AJ and Vinyl tear up. Hate doing that. I took a few deep breaths, turned pony, and hugged Applejack. Needed that hug, really needed that hug. Made me smile when Vinyl joined in.

After all of that was done, I helped the wonderbolt up. I’m a nice guy... usually. “Sorry bout that, bra. Ah kinda lost it.fer a sec there.” The other wonderbolts wandered over, cautiously. Spitfire decided to try talk to me. “So... are you... the alien?” I looked at her. “The whatnow?” She shrugged. “Princess Celestia said she would be bringing an alien here to help us out, are you him?” my turn to shrug. “I guess so.” Spitfire giggled. COME ON! How many freakin ponies have cute giggles? Know what? I’m gonna say something. “Ya know, you got a cute little laugh.” She folded her ears back, and I could see the blush through her suit. “Thanks.” WHACK! “Dammit!”

I turned to see who did that, Rainbow Dash. “Easy there, hotshot. We still gotta talk Applejack into letting you romance other girls.” I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks. “I didn’t mean it like that... well, I did... but... AH! FUCK!”

Applejack heard that and walked over. “Now jus hang on there, Rainbow. Ah already told him he can romance other girls, he jus can’t go fer a roll in the hay till ah get the first turn.” Spitfire walked right up to me, almost pushing me over. “Ya know, the Princess told me you’d be lookin for a girl, or two, or five. Any chance I could get in on that?” Over I go. WHEEEE-THUD!

Everypony took that as blood loss or something. I had to bat them off as I got up. “I’m fine. My brain just got a little... overloaded.” That was actually true. Basically, it’s like this: Applejack is number one, Vinyl/Ditzy number two, Spitfire number 3, and team rainbowpie is number four. So, four out of six of my favourite ponies have asked me out. Insert fuckyeah face here.

Spitfire is actually pretty cool, if that wasn’t obvious enough. She got us all calmed down and led inside, and even talked me, the guards, and that wonderbolt, who’s name turned out to be Stormwatch. Into apologising to each other while Twilight patched me up, again. What a cool name, eh? Fuckin rights it is.

After all was said and done, I won’t go into detail because it was boring as hell, the guards waited outside while the rest of us all got on the same page. So it’s like this. These terrorist dudes were part of an international human experiment of some kind, when their ship was transported to the southern tip of Equestria, with them in it. It was a military ship, so guns, ammo, rockets, whatever they had on board came with them.

Not all of them were bad, but they couldn’t exactly walk home, so they stuck with the bunch, supposedly about a hundred originally. Celestia went to see them as soon as she learned of their existence. Apparently that was a bad idea. As soon as they learned about how ponies generally can’t defend themselves that great without serious powerful magic, they decided to go to war. Or, at least, take over. Not right away, but eventually. They started giving a gun and rank to anyone who wanted in and could kill, and they still were. So, about two hundred now, scattered around in about a dozen camps. According to the informant, that was enough for them to get started.

Hearing this did some weird things to my brain. I can’t imagine what the girl’s brains were doing, but the looks on their faces said freaking out. As for me, I went from terrified, to nervous, to just right cocky. Yeah, it was just me, NOT! I was already thinking about training a few ponies or something to be my team. But seriously, two hundred rag-tag bandits, comprising of old people, maybe a few of their kids, if there was any females on that boat, and some untrained, or undertrained idiots. This would be easy.

The best part of the next hour? Probably the best thing to ever happen to me so far. As it turns out, Twilight is very uncomfortable with people she doesn’t know so well suddenly moving in with her. Go figure, eh? Dash jumped at the opportunity, since Twilight knew now anyway. She launched off the couch she was sitting on right into me, knocking me onto my back. (I was sitting on the floor next to AJ, it’s actually really comfortable for a pony) I wasn’t shocked, but I wasn’t expecting that either. Rainbow Dash had her nose pressing into mine. I could taste her sudden excitement. “You can TOTALLY come stay with me!” She backed her head up a bit, then dived down and kissed me. Twilight was the only one who was surprised. Dash kept our faces pressed together for a few seconds, no tongue involved, before she broke the kiss and nuzzled my neck. Needless to say I wrapped my forelegs around her as soon as she planted her face onto mine. Rainbow whispered, I don’t know why. “I promise it’ll be awesome.” Twilight being Twilight, levitated Dash off of me and plumped her down beside her. “Rainbow Dash, NO! I understand it’s that time of year, and you might like him, but NOT in MY home! That is something private! Besides, you’re the element of loyalty! What are you doing trying to seduce Applejack’s “buck”!? She is your best friend! What would she think!?” My amazing little AJ cut Twilight off, and looked smug just to rub it in. Making me turn bright red at the same time. “Twi, ah want them to do it, after mah turn. Besides...” Applejack finished helping me up and nuzzled into the side of my neck. That is SO much better than hugs. “...What kind of friend would ah be if ah kept this big-hearted buck to mahself.” The next twenty minutes or so were filled with evil glares, more than one uncomfortable pony, and words ponies should never hear, let alone say.

It was getting dark out, so Pinkie and one of the wonderbolts took off. I went out on the balcony and sat down, munching on an apple. Dam those are good when AJ grows em. I had shit to think about, mainly, why were all these girls making moves on me, and why do I suddenly have a serious crush on four ponies besides Applejack? I mean, Pinkie, Dash, Vinyl, AND Spitfire? Worst part was that I didn’t know why they had such a serious effect on me. I kept wondering what Applejack would say if I told her.

Celestia finally decided it was safe to approach me alone. “I’m sorry that had to hurt so much, but we haven’t figured out how to do it without severe pain.” I patted her on the shoulder. “It’s okay. I actually wanna say thanks. This is the best birthday present I ever got.” We shared a smile. “Do I really want to know why?” I shook my head. “Nope.”

We chatted for awhile, mostly about how the whole never run out of gas thing and the ammo crates. Celestia put it the best way she could. Magic boxes and tanks. Or, more specifically, magically enhanced boxes and tanks. Apparently, fill them with whatever, close them up, cast a spell, and they fill themselves whenever they are closed. That is a new level of fuckin rights. We also talked about my body. Namely, the whole sensitivity thing. Here’s the rundown. She made my sensitive spots way more sensitive. Two ways, too. She put more nerves in those places, and made each nerve more receptive to touch, not pain, just touch, the good feeling stuff. And apparently when I sense a threat, they wind down so things don’t hurt as much. She also mentioned that she implanted some skills into my brain. Like martial arts, reading equestrian books (the letters are like horseshoes and shit, but I can read them), and flying, like, helicopters and planes, AWESOME! I did ask about my feather problem, her response was that she removed some propulsion feathers to keep me from getting hurt if I got ahead of myself. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!!! She did say “you’re a smart guy, you’ll figure something out until they grow back.” I wondered just how much she actually knew about me. It’s usually not the problem that hurts me, it’s my solution.

It took awhile, but I got up the balls to ask Celestia to make a couple more changes. I’ll skip the very awkward conversation and just tell you what I wanted done. Feel free to skip the next paragraph or two.

I talked Celestia into doing a couple things to my... boxer areas... and not in that way! She agreed because she owed me for the feathers. Basically, now I can keep myself stiff even when I’m asleep if I want to. Nothing could be done for keeping it down, though. I can top out as many times as my body will let me before I pass out, without getting sore. The most important part though, is that I made sure my... size... well, it’s all me. Apparently they forgot about that. Good, I want the real me, at least down there. I ain’t a self-conscious douche.

Getting the spell cast... it was awkward, for both of us. I had to lean back, open my legs, and somehow get it up. Easy, think of Applejack in the barn. Celestia must have had it even worse, or not, depending on who you ask. She had to get her face inches away from my... rifle barrel... and pretty much hover over it. Apparently she didn’t need to point her horn for this one. It felt so weird. Not mentally, either. Well, it was embarrassing, but I mean it FELT weird. I could feel this tingling pretty much from the center of my belly (where the tip ended up being) to my knees. Like that static-ish feeling when your leg or arm falls asleep. She didn’t help either. Her breath was washing over it, really making me feel awkward. Think about it. Super-sensitive pony privates, hot breath, already feeling tingly, not good. One thing about male pony privates, they aren’t anything like a standard equine package. They aren’t two feet long, they aren’t blotchy, and they don’t have a flat tip. They’re kind of... well... they’re like that one comic on rule 34 with Twilight and Dash, where they find that book, and Dash ends up boning Twilight. If you don’t know that one, it’s like a human crossed with a doggy-dick.

I was so relieved when that was over. Celestia seemed all too happy to get back inside to chat with the girls. I just sat there and kept on thinking. At some point I put my glasses on so I could see the sky clearly. It looked pretty cool when it was dark enough.

Eventually Celestia and Luna had to leave, taking the guards with them. Stormwatch left too. When I looked inside I saw Twi, Vinyl, AJ, Dash, and Spitfire sitting around talking about something. They seemed to understand I needed some alone time. I didn’t really care. I still had shit to think out.

At some point I started pissing around with the energy sword thing. Trying it out with my pony body. According to Celestia that is heavy duty concentrated Pegasus magic she pumped into me. She said it works like unicorn magic, only my whole body can be the focal point, not just a horn. That pretty much makes me a huge Tesla coil, with a lot more control, and a shitload cooler.

As far as the blade goes, it’s beyond cool. It made the tiniest little hum, but you had to really listen to hear it, and you had to be within a foot of it. It’s about two feet long normally. I found out I can control things like the length or the shape of it. It could be long and smooth edged, like a sword, or short and jagged for serious damage. I can also control the brightness to a degree. I can take it from something like an almost dead blue glow stick, to pretty much the sun, tinted blue of course. Another little discovery I made was that the brighter it glows, the louder it is. From a gentle, barely audible hum, to a loud buzzing like an arc welder.

At some point Vinyl came outside for whatever reason. I didn’t notice her until she sat down pretty close to me and started talking. “So, I guess we have the same birthday.” Cool enough. But that wasn’t a topic I liked. You’ll see why. I found a spot in the sky to stare at. “Really?” “Yup. So, how old are you gonna be?” I kept the stare up. “Eighteen.” Vinyl sputtered. “Really? Me too!” I kept up a monotone voice. “Ah’d be excited if birthday’s meant somethin good to me.” She put a hoof on my shoulder. “What are you talking about?” here it is. Pay attention. “Vinyl, ah’ll tell ya about mah life sometime, if ya wanna hear it. But birthdays never meant shit to me. All they mean is that ah’m one year older. This one was kinda big fer me, but since ah came here, not so much.” Vinyl moved so she was sitting right in front of me, facing me. She looked really concerned, not that I blame her. “Do you... wanna talk about it?” I shrugged. “Fine.”

After a long silence, she poked me. “So...” I facehoofed. “Okay. Ah’m finally gonna be old enough to move out on my own in a couple days, but it’s the middle of winter where ah come from, an ah got no place to go. So ah still had to live with muh pa til it get’s warm enough to sleep outside. Now that ah’m here... ah guess it don’t matter.” Vinyl still looked concerned, but not as much. “Ya know, this isn’t where you came from. Here, you’re considered old enough to do what you want two years after you get your cutie mark.” Okay, that’s cool. Vinyl poked me again. “So what about your deal with birthdays?” I looked to make sure the door was closed. I had to get up and close it. “Vinyl, do you really wanna know?” she nodded. I sat back down. “To be honest, ah hate muh birthday. It’s the worst day of the year fer me.” Vinyl looked super shocked. “Why would you hate your birthday?”

I removed my glasses and got face to face with her, for effect. “Every birthday ah can remember sucked. Ah never got a birthday present, unless ya count phonebooks to the face as a present, one fer every year. Ah got more chores added to muh day before ah can have fun. And never, not once, did anyone in muh house even say happy birthday. The closest ah got was on muh last one when my dad said hey, yer almost old enough to get out muh haus.” (That’s how I pronounce it) “An muh last one was the worst of the bunch. Ah got woken up with a bucket o ice water, thrown outside, an told ah had to do muh chores, including the new ones, before ah could go back inside an eat breakfast!” I was almost yelling at the end. I get pretty worked up talking about shit like that. Vinyl looked really scared, understandable enough. “Hey, look. That’s not goin to happen anymore. I know you don’t like what your birthday’s used to be, but think about what they can be now. Besides, Pinkie Pie knows. You think she’ll let you have a bad birthday?” OH FUCK. She knows. Oh well, it might be fun. Vinyl put a hoof on my chest and pushed me onto my back. I’m really easy to tip over apparently. “One more thing...” She jumped on top of me and planted her lips on mine. You can probably guess my reaction. Big eyes, tiny irises, full body lock up. POMF! ...and a wingboner.

Vinyl was really good. She got my mouth open and started exploring right away. This was actually new to me, as far as Vinyl’s technique was concerned. She was... pushy. Her hind legs held her lower body in the air, and pushed her into me. She wrapped her forelegs around my neck and squeezed really tight, at the same time she pushed her face against mine so hard I thought one of us might get hurt. Basically, she had her body weight and more forcing our lips together. Not that I minded. I had a serious crush on her, remember?

What really sucked was that Vinyl pulled away before I got control of my body. She kept laying on me though, and she kept her face really close to mine. I could feel her breath washing over my face. It smelled like watermelon, of all things.

I almost expected what happened next. She slowly opened her eyes, and I melted. Seeing them so close did some trippy shit to my body. Everything relaxed. Legs, wings, body, everything. I have a serious thing with eyes. Vinyl nuzzled my neck. “I heard what Spitfire said. Ya think I can get in too?” all I could manage was a quiet groan. She had me. Just like my Applejack, she had me. I have to do anything she says, minus one or two for personal reasons, she knew it too. Vinyl nuzzled my neck again. “I so have you wrapped around my hoof.” I got control of my mouth, kinda. “Vinyl, Ah’m yers. Ya’ll better learn to share or there’s gonna be problems.” She gave me a quick peck. “I thought you’d want more than one girl. You’re lucky I’m bi.” I discovered bodily control and bounced us both a few inches off the ground. Vinyl was already laughing. “Ah didn’t mean it like that! Ah... ah... wait... you’re bi?” Vinyl giggled. “Yeah, why?” I pulled her in and gave her a big kiss. “Stop being so amazing! It hurts!” she nuzzled into my neck again and we hugged each other. I have wings, so I wrapped them around her too.

Right then I heard a board creek. Instinct made me flip onto my hooves, gently setting Vinyl down in the process. Applejack and Spitfire were standing there. Twi and Dash behind them. The first thing I noticed was that Applejack was smiling. “Well, ain’t that precious. Mah big soldier buck has a soft spot fer another mare. Geez, Jens. Ah know ya’ll had a heart too big for one mare, but ah never expected ya’ll to fall fer a city girl.” I heard that, but my attention was focused on Spitfire. She had the hood on her suit down, and had on the most seductive face possible. I made the mistake of looking at her eyes. My brain clicked and it was decided. Those five girls are my life. I’d probably get around with some other girls, but Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Vinyl Scratch, and Spitfire had me permanently wired to love only them.
Everyone noticed how much I relaxed. Applejack knew why too. She can read me like a book. “Oh, ah see what’s goin on here. Ya’ll really are a big softie Jens. Not that ah mind, jus promise me that ya’ll are gonna keep yer promise to me.” I made a really long speech about how I HAVE to keep promises I make to them.

I will spare you the next hour or so. Mainly because it was talking about how my brain is wired towards a certain five girls, and about why moves were being made on me, but I did learn one thing. I NEEDED BEER!

There was one topic I paid particular attention to, though. Mating season. Apparently, when they get to be about as old as the cmc (I asked, sweetie is the youngest at 14, and Scootaloo is the oldest at 16, cutie mark = huge growth spurt) , female ponies can get uncontrollably horny and/or pregnant any time of the year, except mating season, which just started a few days before. During this month, give or take a week or so depending on the girl, all mares lose the ability to get pregnant, and get incredibly, uncontrollably horny. Not “huge gang of girls chasing one guy” bad, but they do get pretty needy. Like, every straight guy in Equestria is getting some. Douchebag or not.
The most interesting part, though, was centred around how most girls got along without guys, being as there is a three to one ratio in big cities, and seven to one in Ponyville. Some just stayed away from guys altogether, some went lez or bi, and most of the girls who didn’t find a guy just enjoyed their alone time a few times a day. What really got me going, for the most part, was that four of the girls I suddenly couldn’t get out of my mind did all three, over their lifetimes or during one season. I had to pound back a few glasses of water to calm myself down.

Eventually I was on the balcony again. The girls kicked me out to discuss something. I sat there thinking about where I could get some liquor. Berry punch maybe? Or was I going to have to make it myself. I actually pondered on that for awhile. I used to make shine with my grandpa before he died. I bet that doesn’t surprise you. And one thing, people say it’s dangerous and tastes like shit, but that’s because they don’t know what the fuck they are doing. The shit we used to make was pretty good. Tasted like jack-Daniels. It’s pretty strong, though. I can drink around twenty Canadian beers in an afternoon and feel pretty good in the morning, but a quarter of a mason jar of my bubba’s shine made into mix would put me on my ass and leave me with a three day hangover, not that I ever cared.

Anyway, Spitfire came out this time. “Whatcha thinkin about big guy?” I took a quick look at her before looking back at the dimly-lit streets. “Ah need alcohol.” Remember when I said Equestria couldn’t surprise me anymore? I was so wrong.

Spitfire tackled me from behind, laying me flat on my face, and power-hugged the shit outta me. “I figured you drink, but you got some things to do before we let you get tipsy.” WHOOO!!! LIQUOR HE-wait... things to do? I wasn’t completely sure what she meant, but I had some ideas. I won’t go over what happened, but soon enough we were running full-blast to Rainbow Dash’s place.