Ponyville was soon to be host to the 1,000th Summer Sun celebration. I was in charge of the Balloons for the festival. Which was just fine by me. It was a task where the risk of my secret coming out was as minimal as possible.

"Hello there." A purple unicorn mare said to me. "I'm Twilight Sparkle, are you the one in charge of the Balloons?" She asked.

"Yes. I prefer ponies call me Rob." I told her.

"Well, I must say you...have a lot of balloons" Twilight said. "By my estimated guess, I'd say you have five hundred here." She added.

"It's actually four hundred ninety-five balloons." I told her. "Five hundred balloons even would be too much." I added.

"This is too much as is. You do realize a Princess is coming by, right? You don't need so many balloons." Twilight noted.

"Sorry. I got carried away because it's a task that's just normal enough for me." I said as I rubbed a hoof across my neck.

"Why are you wanting to do something normal?" The dragon on the mare's back said.

"First off, I came to Ponyville to be normal for a change. And second, what's a Dragon doing in Equestria?" I asked.

"Spike is my number one assistant and a trusted friend." Twilight said.

"I see. It's just that I've never seen a Dragon outside of this one area from outside of Equestria's borders. I'd tell you where it is, but then Twilight Sparkle here wouldn't come back alive. Many dragons there hate ponies." I explained.

"Hate seems like a strong word." Twilight said.

"I'm just telling it like it is; no point in short selling anything. Especially in that sort of hell-hole." I said.

"That's swearing." Twilight said.

"Sorry. I originate from far outside Equestria's borders. Even after three weeks, I still sometimes don't foalitize my swears." I told her.

"Well it was nice meeting you regardless." Twilight said.

"Same. We could hang out sometime later I think." I said as she left. Suddenly I felt a very familiar Pink Hoof grab me and the next thing I know, I'm in the Golden Oak's Library. "...Seriously Pinkie Pie?" I asked the party pony. I noticed Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity were also already here alongside a few other ponies from Ponyville.

"It's Pinkie Pie; when she meets a new pony in Ponyville, you bet she'll throw a party." Rainbow Dash said.

"Right, good point." I said to her. It was nice to be with Rainbow Dash at least. She's the only one who enjoys the way I am even if what I've shown her isn't the full truth.

"Still wish we didn't have to sit still in the dark, but I suppose things could be worse." Rarity said. The lights were all off.

"Well for most of us it's impossible to see in the dark." Rainbow Dash said.

"What's RD mean, Rob?" Applejack asked.

"She means that I am able to see in the dark. We got lost in a cave once; I was able to get us out." I explained.

"Well ah think that's pretty nifty." Applejack said.

"Indeed, it's a handy little ability." Rarity said before suddenly Fluttershy was dragged into the mix.

"Let me guess, you too?" I asked her.

"Yes." Fluttershy said simply.

"The new mare will be here any minute everypony!" Pinkie Pie said. Suddenly the door opened and Twilight Sparkle was surprised.

Sometime later, it was time for Celestia's apperence, but then this thing called Nightmare Moon appeared.

"Rainbow Dash, you and the girls get everyone out of here as soon as you can." I said and then stood my ground after the girls split with everypony else. "Okay you; if you think you're going to raze things here, you've got another thing coming. With no witnesses, I'm free from being labeled a freak or a monster." I told Nightmare Moon.

"Oh please, what does one stallion think they can do that other ponies can't do?" Nightmare Moon asked.

"You'll soon find out!" I said and then took to the skies before launching a magic blast at Nightmare Moon from my hooves.

"AND JUST WHAT IS AN ALICORN DOING DISGUISING THEMSELVES?!" Nightmare Moon said.

"Not an Alicorn I'm afraid. Been a pegasus all my life. I just so happen to have abilities from all three tribes running through my vains and I'm not afraid to use them to defend my new home." I told her. Nightmare moon laughed. "What's so funny?" I asked.

"Even if you defeat me, you won't get your precious sun back. I have after all, banished Princess Celestia to said sun using my own magic." Nightmare Moon said. "And that banishment cannot be undone with my death." She added. She then fled and I had to go to the Library.

"What was that blast? Did nightmare moon try and blast you with a magic spell?" Rainbow Dash said. "Never mind that, come on!" She added and I followed close behind. That's where we met Twilight at the Library again and she explained that in order to defeat Nightmare Moon, we need the Elements of Harmony of which there are seven, but only six are known: Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Hope, Generosity, and Loyalty. The seventh one is a complete mystery, and the elements are currently hiding in the everfree forest.

Guess I'm going with these mares. Some stallion's gotta do it, so it might as well be me. And if I have to reveal my secret to protect these six mares, then you better damn well believe I will.

...Sorry, about the swear by the way...

Author's Note

So, it should come as no surprise that Rob's swears won't always be the same pony profanity from the show, and he will say more human swears such as "fuck" or "hell" instead of the show's normal "buck" or "Tartarus" comments. Every now and again there will be a pony version of a swear, but it won't always happen. The real-world profanity here is being used only as Rob's main gag that is meant to be on the same level as Applejack's accent or Pinkie Pie's occasional fourth wall breaks. It's why this story has a T rating instead of an E rating. Because outside of the real-world profanity, nothing is that NSFW here. In fact, the profanity is the only thing keeping this story from being E rated. While I could remove the profanity entirely, I feel like removing the profanity would make Rob no different than one of the side characters like Bon Bon with the only difference being that Rob is a main character right now while the lead-up to his big power reveal is happening.