Chapters How Did I Get Here, Seriously?
Chapter 2: Ponyville, or Whatever
You've been here for a good few weeks, and it's been mostly uneventful. You've figured out you somehow have teleported or traveled dimensions into Equestria. You've looked at Ponyville which is sort of close by and as far as you can tell, you're in Season 1 or 2.
You think it's actually around that one episode where Applejack gets really tired and at some point got lots of ponies sick, judging by the large medical tent thing near the middle of town. You wish you could remember the finer details of the show, but you hadn't watched it since it ended. Still kinda passed at the final episode, but really, it was probably the best way to end things. Maybe.
The past few days, though, you've started to realize that you truly could be stuck here... Forever. You've thought about your family, friends, your cats, pretty much anyone you care for. It's left you in this depressive mood, and as you stare out the window at the rain, you continue to have these thoughts.
"Ugh, what to do, what to do..." you say to yourself, palm holding up your hand as you sit at the table. Your new house is pretty nice, but there's pretty much nothing to do here. You snap your fingers and conjure up an apple, and bite into it. Mmm, juicy!
Maybe you could just waltz into Ponyville, but realistically, there's no way something bad wouldn't happen if you did that. But then again, you're just so... Bored, not to mention lonely. Usually you'd be talking to your brothers, your friends, anyone that would want to talk. You miss your friends and family already, you miss your house, your cats, your room, pretty much everything you had.
Huh,who would've guessed living in Equestria would be this lonely. Go figure, the only human to be in Equestria and you're afraid of scaring the residents of Ponyville.
Fuxk, if only you were a po- wait a damn minute, that's it! You can just use your magic to change into a pony! Hot diggity dog, this is the best thing you've thought up in a good bit!
Alright, time to do this spell. You stand up and snap your fingers, feeling the spell take immediate effect. You see a bright light around you, and once you open your eyes you're laying on the ground.
You try to stand, but your legs wobble and you fall over, hitting your face on the wooden floor.
"...maybe I should've expected that..." you mutter to yourself, mentally slapping your face, as you have a feeling hitting yourself with a hoof would be painful.
You attempt multiple more times to stand, but eventually you're standing, your legs wobbly but stable as long as you don't move. But, you kind of have to move, so you slowly walk over to the table, trying to figure out how to use your magic, which you figure out is just clapping your front hooves together once. You use your magic to teleport a mirror to you, and you start to look yourself over.
You look... Incredibly boring. Your fur is tan, with brown hair and eyes, like your actual self. The only thing that really looks somewhat cool is your cutie mark, which is... What the fuck is it? It looks like some sort of blue magic orb, with a couple circles surrounding it, the outer one a light blue and the inner one a light purple. It looks a bit stupid honestly, so you choose to ignore it. You're an earth pony, not really a surprise there, and all is set except for a fake name.
"Yeah, uh... What the hell would work as a name... Blue Orb, no that kind of sucks... Water Ball, fuck no... Come on, what's something that works with this cutie mark... Fuck it, I'm keeping my normal name, no use in trying to come up with a new name anyways" you say to yourself, giving up on this endeavor. Fake names are stupid anyways...
You spend the next few days practicing grabbing stuff, walking, sitting, running, the usual stuff anyone knows how to do. After all, it'd be weird if you came into town crawling through the town. You've come up with a bit of a backstory: you're from Manehattan, and you've come to Ponyville for a while for relaxation, and the reason you're living in the Everfree is... I dunno, the scenery. Not a fool-proof plan, but it's not the worst, you think.
You smile, walking out of your front door. Yeah, this'll be easy. Just go into town, meet the ponies, and go back home. Simple. You'll most likely not find someone to be close friends with, especially when it comes to the Main/Mane 6. Never got why people back home called them the Mane 6, wouldn't it just be easier to- ow!
In the middle of your thoughts, you walk into a tree, falling over with a bit of pain in what's known as a cranium. God dammit, even as a pony you're just as blind as you always have been-
You hear a noise from a bush behind, and you quickly turn to see... A chicken? Wait, wasn't there an episode of a chicken running out into the Everfree and they found a... Oh feck.
You try to get up, but you look down to see that your legs are already stone. OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT YOU CANT MOVE AND IT'S COMING HOLY JESUS-
These are your pathetic last thoughts as you're turned into stone, and as your stone body lays on the ground, the cockatrice staring for a moment with an evil smirk before walking away.
Uggghhh, your heeaadd....
You wake up, trying to stretch a bit. You notice you can't move... At all. Then, you remember what happened.
Fuuuccckkk... How was I so stupid to look for that long at that coca....cockah...dammit, thing. Now I've gotta wait for... Wait a second, I could be here for a long time. It could be hours, days, months... Holy catfish, I could die here you say in your head, starting to panic. You may never see anyone again, you need to get out of here!
Right as you think that, you're suddenly able to move, the stone encasing you crumbling. You hug yourself tightly, rolling on the ground while panting.
"Holy shit, thank you, thank you, thank you magic, I'll never take you for granted again!" You yell to yourself, kissing the ground you lay upon. You don't bother to question anything at the moment, as you stand up and wipe the small bits of dust off you. After you do this, you start to walk towards to town again, now with a pep in your step for whatever reason. Adrenaline maybe I dunno, but anyways you reach town in a good 30 minutes or so, taking in the sight of it.
It looks basically how it did on the show but with more detail, straw or hay roofs on the buildings, ponies walking around, and as it's around afternoon the market is open, but you don't have any money so you don't pay mind to it. The ponies around you give you a small smile as you walk past, something you give back. Wow, Ponyville truly is as friendly as it seemed on the show, at least to a certain extent.
There's that bridge that was commonly seen in the show but barely walked on, city hall, and if the layout was like it was in the show if you walk over here you'll see... Sugarcube Corner!
Author's Note
Sorry if the end of the chapter feels rushed, I tried to get everything moving in the story as fast as possible so I kind of rushed the whole getting stuck in stone thing.
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How Did I Get Here, Seriously?
Chapter 3: A Party, And Unexplained Nervousness!
You have no mother fucking clue what happened the past few hours. One moment you were infront of Sugarcube Corner, the next you were getting bombarded with questions by Pinkie Pie, and now around evening you're in a "Welcome to Ponyville" party, sitting in a corner as the entire fucking town parties. You knew everyone was friendly, but you didn't think you'd be in a party for YOURSELF within a day. You try to casually drink a soda, feeling the slight burn of it in your throat as you swallow. The cola is a bit different than Coke, but it isn't necessarily worse, it's like a mix of Dr. Pepper and Coke, but with a teaspoon of sugar added into it to give it a sweeter flavor. The name is "Ponific Cola" or whatever.
Anyways, you try to stay away from everyone, but it feels like literally everyone wants to meet you. You're fine with a single person, but having a few hundred ponies try to talk to you isn't the best thing for your nerves, so you're in a bit of a nervous state as you accidentally drop your soda, the glass bottle breaking near your hoof.
"Feck" you whisper to yourself, quickly teleporting it into the trashcan nearby with your magic. Quickly looking around to make sure noone saw that, you try to relax again, sighing.
"Sir, are yah okay?" You hear someone say, and you turn your head and look down to see Applebloom standing beside you, a concerned look on her face. Dawwww, she's adorable!
"Oh, uh, yes I'm fine, what's your name little filly?" You stutter, clearing your voice. Smooth Nate, smooth.
Applebloom cocks her head sideways a bit, confused but answering "ahm Applebloom, what's yer name? And why do you look so nervous, are yah shy?" She inquires, now speaking in a concerned tone.
"I'm Nate Collins, and I'm... yes, I guess I'm a bit shy, I suppose. Just not used to large parties, that's all" you answer, hoping that'll satisfy her questionnaire. Instead, that makes her ask more questions.
"Oh, then why don't I help you meet some ponies? Then you won't be so nervous!" She enthusiastically exclaims, giving you a large smile. You'd say no if you're going to be honest, but that smile... uggghhhhh, damn your weakness to adorableness!
"Well... I suppose that would be fine..." you say, nearly whispering towards the end. Why are you so nervous, it's just a filly! Applebloom starts walking off, with you following along. You get through the crowd, nearly tripping over a few times. She leads you towards another corner of the room, where you see... the Mane 6 by the punch table. Yeah, you started using that spelling now, might as well.
There's... Pinkie Pie, who hasn't spotted you yet. Pretty cute, but not the type of person you'd trust with your life typically, there's Applejack right beside her holding a cup of punch while talking to Rainbow Dash, who look to be bantering with each other. You gotta say, their athletic builds are pretty sexy, and that country look with Appl- what the fuck are you thinking these are PONIES. Maybe your transformation spell worked too well...
Anyways, to the next of them is Fluttershy speaking with Rarity, Fluttershy looking adorable while Rarity looking, well, radiant (hehe did the funny), and then next to Rarity and at the end of the punch table is... hoollyyy shiiittt it's fucking Twilight Sparkle reading a book.
You feel your heart explode as you stare at her, taking in her absolute beauty. When you watched the show, you always had her pegged as your favorite character, but here... she is like another being. Her purple fur is the perfect color, with her body looking not as athletic as someone like Applejack but certainly not as soft as someone like Fluttershy. Her purple eyes captivate your brown as she reads her book quickly but with precision. Her- wait a goddamned second, you're not going to fall in love at first sight with a pony of all things, especially one that was in your favorite television show ever, and ESPECIALLY not your favorite character from it. It's like if you fell in love with, I dunno, Gordon Freeman as you tried to escape from Black Mesa, it just does not compute-
"Uhm... Nate, are yah okay? You look like your out of it... and why are you starin' at Twilight like that?" Applebloom questions, helping you get out of your admittedly embarrassing thought process about a sexy purple unicorn. Wait, did you say sexy? GOD DAMMIT-
"Y-yeah, I'm fine... just spaced out, that's all" you say to her, wiping the sweat off your forehead. Is it hot in here or what, can we get a window open?
"Uh, if you say so... hey y'all, this is Nate... erm, sorry, what's yer name again?" Applebloom says to the six ponies, who look at you and Applebloom. Instead of you answering, however, Pinkie Pie runs up to you, hugging you tightly.
"Hey Nate! Hey guys it's Nate Collins! He's so cool and amazing and we hit it off so well we're going to be the best of friends together, right???" She exclaims while giving you a noogie on the head, while you blush slightly at the sudden affection from her. Jesus, you feel like a younger brother getting picked on by their older brother infront of everyone. But, it does feel nice in a way, so you don't mind. The first pony to walk up to you is Applejack, who gives you a hand- er, hoofshake.
"Hello partner, I'm Applejack. If mah sister and Pinkie have no issues with you, then I shouldn't have any either. If you're in need of apples, then my family has you covered in Sweet Apple Acres" she speaks in her country accent, giving you a smile as she backs up to let someone else talk to you.
Next up is Rainbow, who looks you up and down for a moment while in the air, before landing and saying, "hey, you seem cool enough I guess, and anyone that's friends with Pinkie is fine with me" while holding her hoof out. You take a moment before registering she wants a hoofbump, so you end up awkwardly hitting her hoof back in a way that makes you both uncomfortable, but it doesn't seem to affect her too much. The next person- ugh, PONY to approach is Rarity, who looks you up and down in a similar but more lady-like way than Rainbow. After a few moments she smiles, now speaking up.
"Well, Nate darling, I'd be happy to have you as a friend, but there's something I think I should do for you" she says, looking into your eyes with a weird gaze.
"What d'you mean?" You ask, looking away from her eyes in a mix of embarrassment and the fact that you just feel uncomfortable looking into a person/pony's eyes, just something you never liked to do for an extended period of time.
"Well, it's your... how should I say this... mane, it's very ragged looking and it looks like you haven't combed for days! What have you been doing recently?" Rarity says, looking concerned.
"Oh, I've just been settling into my new home, haven't had much time for that sorta...thing..." you say, slowing down at the end due to Rarity's ever burning gaze. But, she eventually just smiles and nods, saying something about understanding, and the next pony to step up is Fluttershy. Applebloom at this point ran off to do something else, so you're left alone with the six ponies infront of you.
"Um... hi, I'm Fluttershy..." Fluttershy... shyly says, brushing her front left hoof on the floor. You smile, feeling a bit more confident in your speech.
"Hello Fluttershy, um... how's your day?" You ask, now speaking in a more gentle tone than you're used to.
"It's been good... um, do you like... animals?" She asks, with her speech barely able to be heard over the party going on that you honestly forgot was happening.
"Ooo, what were their names? Were they cute?" She exclaims, something you both expected and didn't expect. She walks closer to you, which you presume is to hear you better.
"Well, the oldest was Patches, she was a bit of a... I guess brat is the word, but she was nice enough, then next is Space, who was the cutest little furball I've ever seen, but she was always not one to like strangers, and the last two were brothers, Bob and Bobby. They looked pretty much the same, except that Bob had a large and fluffy tail while Bobby had a thin and short tail." You go on to talk about other pets you had, like a parrot and a hamster, and Fluttershy seems to have liked the conversation enough. After her, it was time to meet the one, the only... Twilight Sparkle! Unless if there's another Twilight in some other generation of MLP that you never knew about, like with Spike.
Author's Note
I tried to show off a bit of what Nate is as a character in this chapter, but I feel that I was a bit too... on the nose, I think. I hope it's fine for now as I'll try to explain his personality later in the story.
How Did I Get Here, Seriously?
Chapter 4: Welp, I'm Crushing On Twilight
Twilight walks up to you and smiles, saying, "hello, I'm Twilight Sparkle, what's yours?" She asks, despite the fact it's been said multiple times now.
"I'm Nate Collins, and I've been meaning to ask what's the book you were reading over there?" You inquire, which makes her smile a bit more.
"Oh, the book is called 'Tales of Magic Going Wrong', it's about real stories of unicorns that tried to use complex and powerful magic for selfish reasons, and how it went wrong. It's interesting as..." at this point, she starts speaking a bit too fast for you to keep up, and the others can tell she lost you, so Applejack taps Twilight's shoulder to gain her attention.
"Sugercube, I think you lost him..." she says, making Twilight blush cutely in embarrassment.
"Oh, sorry Nate, I got a bit too into what I was saying, uh... what books do you like?" Twilight quickly says, looking down for a moment.
"Well, I don't think the books I've read you'd be interested in, but I'm interested in books on history, science, that sort of thing. Oh, I love fantasy novels aswell!" You explain to her, which seems to excite her.
Overall, the party was great once you met Twilight and everyone else. You all got along well, and now you think you're on good terms with them. You thanked Pinkie for the party, and left after saying bye to all of them. You're walking with Twilight to the library, talking and joking about when the subject of where you came from comes up.
"So, Nate, I never did ask, where are you living in Ponyville? I haven't heard anything about a property being bought or sold..." Twilight inquires, looking at you as you near Golden Oak Library. God, you've missed the look of this place in the show, so much in fact you feel a sense of nostalgia as you look at it.
"Oh, I'm living in a house in the Everfree Forest" you say straightforwardly, which seems to startle Twilight a bit.
"The Everfree Forest? Nate, you know how dangerous it is in there, especially at night! Do you want to sleep in my home tonight instead of going through there?" Twilight says in a mix of a scolding and caring tone, you know, the tone when your mom catches you before you fall off the table after you were standing on top of it or whatever. You nearly brush off the concern before you think about the last part.
Sleeping in the Golden Oak Library, with Twilight Sparkle. Holy shit this is something your 5 year old self would dream of, you'd be a moron to not say yes!
"Oh, um... if it's fine with you..." you say, smiling at her as she nods.
"Of course. Infact, I have a guest room that I've been using for storage, but I can get that cleaned up. Come on, I'll show you inside." She explains, with you following her into the library. It has a wooden smell inside, but a pleasant one, like a maple tree, mixed with the smell of books. The inside looks amazing, exactly the way you thought it looked in the show. You follow Twilight downstairs to a door (you think leading to the room Spike got locked into during that one episode he turned into an adult), and she quickly tidies it up, clearing the bed of any boxes of books and fluffing the pillow.
Against your better judgment, you end up staring at her rear, which she does not notice. You notice how... nice it looks, how round yet curiously slim it is, how it looks it could be squishy to the touch, and how badly you want it- okayyy brain, too much horny for your own good. Jesus Christ, you're going to get arrested one day, you sick fuck.
Before things get awkward, you look away from Twilight's flank as she turns to look at you, smiling gently. "I hope the room isn't too cluttered, I just got a lot of new books ordered and i haven't gotten around to setting them up, so I've been keeping them here" she says, walking up to you.
"It's fine, um... you sure you're fine with me staying for a night?" You ask, looking down from her gaze.
"Of course, I can't have you going out there alone, anything could happen in the Everfree, and you don't have a horn or wings to get away from anything attacking you" Twilight answers, while also continuing with, "plus, I'd be making a bad first impression if I let you go in there without any protection so... tomorrow, I'm going with you in there to make sure you get home safe"
Twilight's face as she speaks slowly got more and more serious, which is honestly very adorable. You decide to test the biggest test in the entire world, the biggest test in the universe, perhaps! You lift your front right hoof, and poke her nose.
Twilight doesn't react immediately, but when she does she nearly goes cross-eyed looking at her now defiled nose. She then looks back at you, with a look of confusion.
"Um... Nate, why did you... poke my nose?" She mumbles, sounding nervous as she asks this yet also curious.
"Just testing to see what would happen, honestly. But, from where I'm from, it's a sign of... affection, as in you trust that per-pony" you explain, with Twilight staring at you and seemingly taking it at face value.
"Okay, that makes some sense. Where are you from anyway? And why move into the Everfree?" Twilight asks, and oooohhhh shiittt you already forgot your own backstory. Okay, um, backup plan commence: pull something from your ass and hope it works.
"Oh, well, I uh... I come from a very obscure part of Equestria, I wouldn't be surprised if you've never heard of my town or found it on any maps. It's very far North from here, not as far as Yakyakistan, but pretty far. It's called Earthville, due to the piles of dirt around it to protect the town from any invaders. And about the Everfree, uh... honestly, I came here to research the Everfree Forest, and to do that I decided to live in it. Plus, if I'm being honest... I didn't think I'd get friends in Ponyville, so that made it easier to make my decision" you explain, hoping that she won't see through your bullshit. She seems to have believed you, as she looks at you with sad eyes and hugs you.
"Nate, what ever made you think you wouldn't make friends here? Was Earthville just that bad of a place?" She asks, looking into your eyes. Aww shit, you may have overdone it. While it was true you didn't think you'd make friends here, you didn't want her to think Earth is a bad place, even if you're just telling a fabricated story of it.
"No no, Earthville is a perfectly fine place, we just had... a different mindset than most of Equestria. In Earthville, we sort of had to earn every friendship we had, and we had to work hard for everything we had. I didn't exactly mean I didn't think I'd make any friends, I just meant it'd take a long time to trust anyone here" you explain, which seems to work well enough, as Twilight's frown is changed from that to a look of understanding.
"I see... well, either way, you're free to stay here for as long as you need to, okay?" She says, making you tear up a bit. Nobody has really been this nice to you in... well, let's just say a long time. You hug Twilight tighter, letting the tears flow a bit. She seems confused for a moment, but then she hugs you back, comforting you.
After a good minute, you release her, and you both say goodnight to each other. You close the door to the room, and as the moon is high in the sky, you get into bed and fall asleep peacefully, your thoughts on Twilight Sparkle.
How Did I Get Here, Seriously?
Chapter 5: Earthville, Really?
You wake up, yawning as you roll off the bed, landing on the ground with a small thud. You don't mind though, as you're used to doing this every other morning. You stand up and stretch, clapping your front hooves together to make a cup of water appear on the bed. You grab the cup and chug it, and then afterwards you make the cup dissappear. You look at the books on the shelves, and start reading the titles.
Most of then seem to be ones on Equestrian history and magic, and you slowly lose interest as they all seem to be very high level books. You look out the window on the left side of the room and you see the townsfolk walking around and doing their thing, and you smile. Then, you think about last night.
"Really, I came up with the fucking name Earthville? What kind of moronic shit is that? God, I'm never going to live that down..." you mutter to yourself, sighing before talking to yourself more. "Then there's the nervousness, what the fuck was with that? Am I truly just that inept at speaking to ponies? Ugh, maybe it's just because I was nervous about meeting my childhood heroes... yeah, that's gotta be it" you say, coming up with a reasonable theory that doesn't hurt your ego too much. Is ego the right word even? Whatever, it's not all that important anyways. Then there's the sudden thing with Twilight, why in the hell did you randomly start crying? Whatever made you come to this place must either really hate you, or you're just making things worse for yourself.
Anyways, you fell for Twilight WAY too fast, and then there's the fact that you're still... you know, a human, so no messing with ponies in any way. You've fallen too quickly for people before, and it's only ended in disaster for you, so you'd better get a better hold of yourself.
...still hate the fact you called Earth fucking Earthville.
You leave the bedroom, going upstairs and walking towards the kitchen when you see Spike, cooking what looks to be pancakes while sucking on a blue gem. On the show Spike seemed pretty cool, but you leave him be to his cooking. You go towards a random bookshelf and read the book titles, which all mostly seem like they're written with rhymes in mind. Pretty neat.
You really don't know what you're going to do right now, so you decide to go and leave the library. Afterall, you have a lot to think about when you get home, and you really just want to be alone at the moment.
You eventually reach the outskirts of Ponyville and walk for a good twenty minutes to get back home, careful to not alert any creatures in the Everfree. You finally get there, and so you walk to the door and go inside, closing it and wondering what you should do. You use your magic to go back into your human form, just because it's so much easier for you to walk around like this. You've been taking things too lighthearted, at least that's how you perceive it. You need to take things slowly, you can't just jump into a lake before checking the temperature. Heh, made that one up on the spot, your dad would be proud.
Dad... you just now once again realize how much you miss them. Perhaps the reason you came to town earlier than you wanted was a way to try to keep your mind off them. Not that far fetched of an idea, considering how you've always been. Always concealing your emotions and dealing with them when it's convenient. It got you through life on Earth well enough, but in Equestria, you don't think it ever worked out on the show. Didn't work for Starlight, at least.
Your thoughts carry on to how your family might be acting. Mom and dad are definitely freaking out right now, siblings probably confused, and friends... yeah, most of them probably don't care or will forget in a few weeks, so not much to miss there. You weren't really close to anyone outside of immediate family in your last few weeks on Earth, which is mostly due to... stuff going on.
Before you get to think about that "stuff", you shake your head and get your mind off of it, despite your brain lingering on it for a second too long. You need to focus on trying to get home right now, not making friends in Ponyville. Despite how badly you want to get to know them, especially purple book horse, you have other things to do.
Actually... okay, you're a moron. You have magic, a powerful kind as far as you can tell. You could probably just use it to create a portal back home, right? Well, there's only one way to find out.
You snap your fingers, and... nothing happens. Huh. You attempt to do it a few more times, but it still doesn't work. You shrug sighing sadly.
"Well, probably should've expected that... still worth a try, I suppose" you say to yourself, now thinking. So now, you know that there's a limit to how powerful your magic is, but what is the extent of it? Is it like Discord's magic, or is it a new type?
Well, it's time to experiment!
It's been a month since you started experimenting with your magic, and you think you've got a hold on the extent of it. You can do pretty much anything, but it has a limit, as you already knew beforehand. The limits are pretty much this: you cannot create portals to cross dimensions, cannot distort reality to a certain extent (basically, you could make a space the size of Ponyville turn into how Discord ran things, but any larger and everything will go back to normal), and you cannot blow up the world. Do not ask how you found that out, it was a long explanation to the authorities that resulted in your imprisonment for a good week.
Noone knows about your real self yet, and you want to keep it that way. Although, during your prison sentence you happened to meet Princess Celestia, and you're friends... you think? You at least have been writing to her every few days, and it's been pleasant company. She knows about your magic, which seemed to alarmed her a bit but after a bit of talking, she seems fine with it. Knowing her though, this will blow up in your face eventually, but until then you're good.
The subject of Twilight and her friends though... well, you've tried to cut them off just for some privacy, but at least one of them has been visiting at least weekly, specifically Pinkie. She treats you like you're a younger brother, which you kind of appreciate. She really helps you smile when you need it, which happens to be quite a lot. The rest of them are nice to be around, Applejack and Rainbow are nice to hang with, Rarity is cool enough to talk to when you need fashion advice (which isn't very often, but still), Fluttershy is somepony who you're able to talk to without being judged, and Twilight is good to speak to about books and such.
Still, you don't want to get too attached to them, as you are still trying to figure out how to get home. Despite you unable to find a way to get home, you think you might be able to find a way to get back within a few months. A few months still feels like hell, but it'll hopefully be worth it...
As you think this, you hear a knock on the door. You get up from your bed and yawn, getting ponified quickly and rushing downstairs. You open the front door to see a Ms. Pinkie Pie, brightening your day already. She runs up and hugs you, which you return immediately.
"Heya Nate, how are you today?" She asks in a chirpish tone, releasing the hug.
"I've been alright, you?" You ask, as you walk into your kitchen to make her a cup of hot chocolate, as she asks for one pretty much every time she's over. She follows you, standing a short distance behind you as she looks around a bit.
"I've been super duper great lately! You know, you should come to Ponyville more often, because Princess Celestia came down and told us about you!"
This makes you freeze for a moment, but you act cool and say, "oh really? What did she say about me?"
"Oh, nothing... besides that you're able to do magic!" She exclaims, making you turn around with your coat going white.
"C-Celestia... told y-you..." you don't say anything else before you faint, your face hitting the floor with a thud.
How Did I Get Here, Seriously?
Chapter 6: Fucking Taxes.
Author's Note
Sorry it took this long for a new chapter, I've been having some family issues lately so I haven't been able to put my concentration on this story until now. Promise the next one will be more fleshed out. Have a good day y'all, and happy late Valentine's Day!
Chapter 6: Fucking Taxes.
Overall, pretty stressful week. You've tried to keep things quiet, but it was no use. Now it feels like everyone knows about your ability to use magic, and you've had to lock yourself in your house to stay away from everyone. Not that you really mind locking yourself in, it's just the circumstances.
Well, since it doesn't seem you'll be able to go outside for a bit, you've decided to dedicate this time for more research. In all, you haven't found... anything, really. Mostly dead ends if you're honest, and anything that seemed like it should've lead to something, didn't.
You close the most recent book you've been reading, sighing. Goddammit, you'll never find anything at this rate. You get up from your bed, stretching your limbs. It's currently the afternoon, and you haven't done as much exercise as you probably should be doing. But, it's been raining all the damn time recently, so you haven't had much motivation for exercise in any way besides pacing in thought for an hour. You've thought about rewatching the show just incase something happens that you need to know, but realistically nothing will happen to you for at least a few months, so you should be fine for now. I mean, it's not like Discord or Tirek is going to appear for no reason, right?
Actually, now that you said that, it wouldn't surprise you if that happened right at this moment, because you have a feeling that since it feels like everyone knows who you are now, something's going to happen. But, then again, Twilight never had anyone do anything to her except villains, so you should be fine.
As you think this, you hear a knock at your front door. You freeze for a moment, then walk downstairs to the front door. You slowly open the door and peek through to see... a mailman. Er, mailpony I think would be the term now.
"Are you a Mr... Nate Collins?" He asks, having a surfer kind of accent. In his blue mail outfit, you notice his green fur and dark brown mane, with a four leaf clover cutie mark with a newspaper as a backdrop. He holds out an envelope with a royal symbol on the front, which you take slowly.
"Yeah, uh... why are you here?" You ask, opening the envelope while you look at him.
"I'm here to bring you your mail...? And, since you have no mailbox, I have to give it to you personally."
"...right, yeah," you mutter, looking at the paper inside the envelope to see... wait a fucking second, taxes? You have to do TAXES? How the fuck did you forget about FUCKING TAXES?
You look up from the paper to see that the mailpony is gone, leaving you alone to be baffled at this. The show never mentioned taxes, did it? You just assumed that Equestria was ran off of... I dunno, something other than this! Whatever, better get to this...
The next few hours were some of the most boring shit you've ever gone through, but at least that's over with. How are people able to do that for decades of their lives, it's mind boggling. When you get back home, you've gotta ask your parents how they can do this shit.
...Damn, how long have you been away from home? You think it's been... one, maybe two months? You're frankly surprised how well you're taking this, maybe it just hasn't settled in yet that you might just be stuck here for years, maybe even forever.
It's always been a dream to come here, to see Twilight and all the ponies of your childhood, but just for maybe a day, possibly a week. Staying here for this long, especially without knowing if your family is okay... it's nearly impossible to not think about them everyday.
You sigh, walking upstairs and getting into bed. You're going to put all of your attention into research, and no matter how hard anypony persists, no matter how long it takes, you're getting home.
How Did I Get Here, Seriously?
Chapter 7: Research Trip!
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. How Did I Get Here, Seriously?
Author's Note
Warning to readers, the next two chapters are pretty much just a sex scene, so if you don't want to read that it's best to wait for Chapter 10.
Chapter 8: Headache
The next few days of research only bring disappointment. You've spent all of your time trying to read and study, but all you've gotten that would help you is the time travel spell that Twilight uses in... ugh, what's the point in even trying to remember the episode, you're just too damn tired.
You're currently in your own bed finally, trying to get rid of this damned headache you've had since you got back. You've gotten to the point where you're going to go to the one place that you can think of: Twilight's house! Fuck the hospital, they don't have cute horses there! (Maybe, possibly)
So, with all of your integrity, you walk out of your home with the intention of either getting a smooch from Twilight or getting a cure for this goddamned headache. Preferably both.
You arrive at her glorious tree home with a vigor, entering it as you see the purple horse for the first time since... when was it? Oh yeah, when she let you sleep over, right? Maybe?
Holy shit, you need to get your memory checked out, do you have dementia or something?
"Oh hey Nate, watcha been up to? I've been meaning to talk" she says, with a nice smile on her muzzle and walking with a nice vibe. You truly want to give her a big smile, but the headache prevents you from doing so.
"Not much, mostly just research and... stuff... anyways, I've got this terrible headache, and I wanted to ask if you know a way to cure it?" You ask, as she gives you a look of concern.
"Oh I should have one... I'd ask Spike to help Mr look, but she's helping Rarity out, you remember her right?" She replies, turning to the bookshelves and using her purple magic to grav a specific book. She turns back to you, quickly turning to the middle of the book for whatever reason and starts to look for whatever she is looking for, which turns out to be literally a few lines down. "Ah, here it is! First, when did this headache start, right after your research, before it, or a bit after?" She asks in a chirpish tone. Kind of adorable, actually.
"Oh, uh... I'm pretty sure it was right after my researching, why?" You say, causing her pupils to shrink slightly before she puts her right front hoof on her face.
"Oohh... okay, that's... fine... you have something called a "Researcher's Ache". Basically, it's a headache caused by too much information that you didn't need coming in within a few days. It's easy to cure, but... it requires something specific" she says, sort of mumbling near the end.
Obviously, you're sort of confused, so you say "it requires what?", with a concerned tone in your voice.
"It... look, it sounds weird, but it requires you to either admit your feelings to another pony, a phoenix egg, or... sexual pleasure" she says, blushing at the end. You blush deeply aswell, realizing the possibilities and playing them out in your mind, the pain suddenly feeling miniscule.
Okay, so your choices are to admit your feelings to Twilight, steal some eggs, or bone Twilight. First choice is less than ideal, and most likely it'd end badly for you, so let's set that back. Second choice... you've always hated hurting anything, especially animals, so absolutely NOT. And the final choice... hooolllyy shiiittt what a great opportunity that would be. Your brain quickly forms an image of you and Twilight, laying in bed, mouth to mouth-
"-Nate? Nate, are you there?" You hear Twilight say, quickly bringing you out of that daydream of lust. "Um... thought I'd let you know, your... well, your... thing is a bit... you know..." she mumbles, her face so red and her voice so quiet you could swear she's fainting. You look down, and see...
HOLY SHIT YOUR HARD NO NO NO NO NOT CLOSE TO IDEAL ABORT MISSION OPERATION GO BACK HOME IS A GO!
In a rush of panic, your face goes from red to absolutely crimson as you use your magic to teleport from Twi's home to yours, rushing into your bed and putting your body under it, your vision now just your blue blanket and the sun beaming onto it. You cannot believe your body betrayed you like that, god DAMMIT. You can't ever face her again, you need to hide yourself from the entirety of Ponyville forever. FOREVER.
Oh, not just Ponyville, but EVERYONE. Who knows who this will get out to, Princess Celestia is pretty much a given. What a great thing to receive in the mail, "Dear Princess Celestia, my friend got a boner and fucking dipped out of my home", wonder how that'll go over.
After a few minutes of panic and trying to calm yourself, you hear your bedroom door open and also hear hoofsteps walking over to you in a gentle way.
"Nate... are you okay? It's me, Twilight... do you want some company?" You hear, her voice speaking to you in a gentle way that you didn't know she could speak in. You slowly peek over the blanket, her face still having a blush but now with a small caring smile, one you haven't seen since...
"Wow, Twilight I'm... you don't need to, really, especially since my headache is now gone. Don't you have somepony else, anyways?" You quickly say, backing up slightly. She smiles, moving closer to you, slowly moving her face to yours.
"Don't worry, I don't have anyone, in fact... you'd be my first, believe it or not... in my twenty years of life, noone has shown feelings for me except you. Well, except for that one guard in Canterlot, but I wasn't ever interested in him that way. You though... you just have an energy that I just sort of... like, you know?" She says, speaking in such a way that you don't realize that her mouth is nearly on yours until now.
Well... this is the point of no return, do you go for it?
How Did I Get Here, Seriously?
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. How Did I Get Here, Seriously?
Chapter 10: Short Thoughts, Holiday
It's been two weeks now since you and Twilight... did that, and it's really starting to put a toll on your brain. You got a fucking pony pregnant in a world you want to leave as soon as possible. God fucking dammit.
Twilight has taken it much better than you, but she's still acting awkward with you. It isn't that surprising, but it makes things difficult for you as you really need to talk to her about what you're going to do about this situation, but maybe it's good that she's acting awkward because quite honestly, you're torn internally about this.
You've always wanted a kid. It was always a dream that you only really told your closest friends, and it's always seemed out of reach. Now, you have a chance at raising one with somepony that you really like, in a world that's much happier than Earth.
But, at the same time... you desperately want to go home. It's been so long since you've seen your parents and siblings, shit you even miss work right now! But, you can't just leave Twilight as a single mother, so what the hell CAN you do?
Oh yeah, then there's the part this changes the ENTIRE FUTURE. Who knows what will happen now that Twilight is going to have a kid, the entire universe could collapse for all you know! But then again, there's the chance that almost nothing will change, so... there's that, I guess.
Anyhow, you're currently researching like usual. You still just cannot for the life of you figure out how you got here and how to get back. It's to the point that you're almost considering blowing up Canterlot just to find some kind of evidence of how you got here. Almost.
You stand up from the table, rubbing your tired eyes. You walk to the front door and step out, deciding to go on a bit of a nature walk. You step into the Everfree Forest, casting a spell that creates an invisible shield around you. Don't want another situation like the cockatrice, after all.
You take a few moments to take in the beauty of the plants and stuff around you. Sure, it's plenty less pretty and safe than every other forest in Equestria, but that's sort of what makes it beautiful. It's almost like you're back home, really.
Home... you never liked cities, honestly. They're so crowded and there's concrete everywhere, you've never seen how people find them elegant and nice. Makes you glad you were raised in a home that was right next to a forest. You always loved going in there and exploring, it was so peaceful and nice to look at the birds and the trees... hell, there was even a river nearby, so you also sometimes fished from it. Never caught anything though, despite the large amount of fish in it. Just not your strong suit, I suppose.
Speaking of which, you come across a young river, which you're pretty sure is the one seen in the 2nd episode of the show. You decide to sit down by it, continuing your thoughts back to Twilight.
You never would've thought you'd end up fucking a cartoon horse. Not only that, but get her pregnant. God, why did you say YES? This is the last thing you need, having a crush on a horse you've watched since childhood and getting her pregnant while trying to get home. If your family ever found our about this, you'd be getting a few restraining orders for sure.
Well, at least there's one thing to be happy about, you suppose. If you can't ever get home, you'll at least have something... that's good, right? You'll have a kid, at least. You never admitted this to anyone, but you've entertained the thought of having a kid someday for a good few years now. So, you have this to look forward to, I suppose.
You look into your reflection, noticing how terrible your mane is right now. Your bangs are nearly covering your eyes, and your beard is getting a bit long... actually, the beard kind of suits you. You have always wanted to try out a long beard.
You then look into your own eyes, feeling a bit confused at how... old they look. You've had a lot of stress since coming here, and this situation now, to put it lightly, fucking sucks.
You sigh, sitting down and using your magic to have a pair of headphones appear on your head. You start to listen to... hey, this is Weezer! Haven't listened to them in way too long!
Hm... it's been too long since you've had a relaxing day. At least on Earth you could talk to someone, here the only ponies you've talked to a lot here are Applebloom, who is a child so you can't really vent to her, and Twilight, who you don't want to be near right now. Perhaps you need a holiday... yeah, that sounds good, a holiday! Finally, a good idea!
How Did I Get Here, Seriously?
Mmm, you think, slowly waking up. You feel the sun beaming on your body, which is the first thing you notice wrong, but you pay no mind to it. You open your eyes slowly, sitting up and blinking rapidly to clear your vision.
You realize you're in a forest, the only clearing in sight is the small one your in, everywhere you look asides from where you sit contains trees and bushes close together, eerily reminding you of the Everfree Forest from My Little Pony. You shake off this thought, standing up and realizing what's happening.
"Okay, this must be a dream, right...?" You say outloud, your mind calming from the slight panic you had just before. "A lucid dream too, my uh... first one... didn't think they felt this real" you continue with, noticing you're wearing what you fell asleep with on: a Cheetos t-shirt and sweatpants. Truly the pinnacle of fashion.
You're Nate Collins, a 19 year old from Earth, obviously. You have short black hair and have an average weight and height. Your eyes are a boring brown and you like to think that you have above average intelligence, but the truth is likely not the case.
You stand up and wipe off bits of dirt from your clothing, slightly nervous to explore. You hear sounds that seem like common forest sounds, like the leaves in the breeze and animals moving about. You absent-mindedly reach for your phone in your pocket, finding it at about 80% battery. You put it back in your pocket and start wandering the forest, the trees looking a bit off to you, as if they were in a cartoon. Must be the dreams doing.
As you explore the forest, you notice that everything feels... a bit too real to be a dream. As an example, when you tripped on a rock and fell over, you felt some pain, which you're sure you shouldn't feel in a dream. This starts to make you a bit nervous like earlier, now coming to terms that this may be real life.
Of course, that can't be true. You live close to the forest, sure, but why would somebody drag you out of your house? A gag? A prank? Plus, why would everything have an animated look to them if it were real life?
You sigh, realizing you're not getting anywhere. You turn around to get back to the clearing. You notice it's starting to get dark out, and you're starting to get a bit cold. You absent-mindedly start snapping your fingers, wishing you had somewhere to sleep. All of a sudden there's a bright light and you flinch, closing your eyes for a moment. When you open them, standing in the middle of the clearing is a nice looking two-story shack, with a nice small garden out front.
You walk up to the shack and go inside it, finding it quite spacey. In what looks to be a living room there's a couch with a table infront of it, and in the next room there seems to be a kitchen with a sink and an oven, running on... something. To the side, there's a bathroom, with a shower and everything a bathroom would normally have.
You then walk up the stairs in the living room, a small creak coming with each step. You reach the top and open the door, finding a large bedroom inside. The floor was a blue carpet, with a bed on the right side of the room and a window above it, and on the left side was a desk and two bookshelves on either side of it, full of books.
Now, while you were relieved you now have somewhere to sleep, the question remains: how in the hell did this happen? All you did was snap your fingers.
Eh, it's just a dream, you think, closing the bedroom door and laying on the bed, which has a blue blanket on top. You fall asleep pretty soon after.
You wake up finally, getting up slowly. "Ahh, finally awake, that was one weird drea- wait a minute" you pause, noticing you were still in the shack. "...okay, I guess... somehow this is real...?" You say to yourself, trying to process this.
So... if you're here, how the fuck are you going to get home? And what's with the magic? Maybe... the shack was always there? Well no, that can't be, so...
Holy shit, you can control magic.