I Am Alone

I must have stared at my reflection for at least an hour. This wasn't me, no fucking way.

I wasn't a pony. But regardless of how strongly I tried to deny it, the fact remained that I was. I had wings too, what's the word for winged pony again? Pegasus, from those Greek myths. I wasn’t super knowledgeable with all the creatures, but I knew that one.

Oddly enough, I still possessed a set of canines. Although, upon further inspection via running my tongue across them, I realised I didn't have just a set of canine I had rows of then. I put my hoof in my mouth and pull back my cheeks to get a better look at them. They looked sharp, like they could do some serious damage.

Was I some kind of predator? I couldn't recall anything from mythology about Pegasus being carnivorous, or omnivorous either. I was certain real horses were no different. I'm some kind of freak then.

Did I reincarnate or something? This is some fucking isekai shit right here. I didn't want a second chance, I wanted to kill myself. End it. Permanently.

What did the universe misunderstand about that? Unless this was Hell, I was an irreligious agnostic but the thought of being punished for suicide always hung around.

I fell to the ground on my… rear part of the horse's body. Whatever the fuck that was called. I rubbed my foreleg with the other, surprised to feel my old self harm scars on this new body. I felt around my neck too, where the rope had gone taut. It was red raw.

Being reincarnated would not stop me. I couldn't tie a noose anymore with these fucking hooves. I could always just starve myself. The average human adult could go almost a month without food but only a week or something without water.

I hoped pony physiology wasn't too different.

Wait, something was wrong. Something was missing.

Clumsily rolling myself over I looked down at my underside.

Something was indeed missing.

I was a girl pony. Fuck.

Whoever did this to me was going to fucking pay now. If I was going to kill myself I'd at least have some fucking dignity. I was going to die as a male.

The universe did this to me for sure. To teach me a lesson. Can't kill myself now that I'm the wrong gender. Fuck off universe. You don't control my actions. I do.

I wanted to scream, swear to the sky. No sound came out though. Now this caused me to panic quite a bit. I did enjoy the sound of my own voice.

I tried forcing my vocal cords to vibrate. Make a sound, anything.

I opened my mouth and tried again. And again. And again. I was straining myself at this point, my vision was going fuzzy. Passing out was a strong possibility.

Great, so I’m a mute pegasus girl. Who would have thought that a suicide would have lasting neurological problems. My anger bubbled to the surface. How dare things not go as I planned. Everything went wrong.

Fine. You win universe, I’ll live. Out of spite! Fuck you. Anything I do from here on out will be from my own accomplishments.

Is this feeling of optimism? It was strangely unfamiliar.

A sound broke me out of my internal musing. My stomach was screaming at me, I hadn’t eaten anything in over twenty four hours. My plan to starve myself was quickly forgotten. Being hungry sucks.

Standing up shakily on my new limbs, I looked around at my surroundings. It seemed to be a forest of some kind, but it had a menacing aura to it. As much as I hated that word, it sounded too “hippy," there was no other way to describe it. This forest was alive. Unnatural.

Thinking back on my sharp canines I found imagining chomping down on some unsuspecting rodent quite disgusting. I’d search for any fruit or berries first, there was no need to act like an animal. No pun intended.

At this time I almost wished I had watched a single episode of Bear Grylls. I knew nothing of surviving in the wilderness. I didn't even know if there was any civilisation nearby. Steeling my resolve I trudged onward into the eerily quiet forest.

I found a water source, check. I also found trees, check too.

That was it. I was hopelessly lost. I swear I'd only walked five minutes away from the pond but the next time I looked behind me the scenery had changed significantly. No sign of the pond in sight.

I felt scared. I was scared. I didn't understand why any of this was happening. I wanted to feel the sweet embrace of the eternal abyss. But instead I was a little pegasus.

It was only at that moment had I bothered to realise my short stature.

I'm a child. Double fuck. Suddenly my hopes of surviving decreased.

It didn't make much sense for me want to survive, considering I had just committed suicide. Perhaps it was out of spite.

A deep growl pulled me from my musing. Right in front of my eyes was the biggest creature I'd ever seen. Some kind of monster, bigger than a bear. Lion parts, scorpion parts. It had bat wings too, some kind of fucking chimera. Worse still, it looked hungry.

My legs wouldn't stop shaking, my breath got caught in my throat, not that I could scream. I racked my brain for any survival tip involving bears. Make myself look big.

I forced my legs to stop shaking. Puffed out my chest and looked directly at the monster before me. My wings still hung limply at my side, not knowing how to move them really reduced my tactic. I would stand my ground, trying to look as intimidating as I could possibly be. Comically small as I was.

The beast stopped it's growling and drooling. It looked at me with a tilt of its head. There seemed to be some semblance of intelligence behind its eyes. I refused to let my guard down though and continued to stare it down.

Unexpectedly, the beast lowered itself to the ground. Making itself look smaller in comparison to my own efforts. It looked into my eyes and I looked into its. No, hers, this beast was female.

I tried and failed to let out a yelp when the beast picked me up in her jaw, although it was being as gentle as it could. Was it being maternal? Instincts telling her to look after a small child?

I was helpless as the beast walked back to what I assumed to be her dwelling with me just dangling. I tried flailing my legs, but that didn't do anything so I gave up. Said dwelling was a large cave with moss and other greenery surrounding the entry.

Feeling myself being lowered I looked up to the weirdly affectionate captor. She held a soft expression, yet there was sadness behind it.

What happened to this creature to feel such grief?

She then turned and exited the cave after a wayward glance back at me. I waved nervously, not sure if I should take the time to flee or if curiosity would get the better of me and I'd stay.

A short while later I was still seated in the cave. The ground was cold. The creature returned with some kind of dead animal in its grasp. Still terrified, I shuffled back.

She dropped it at my feet and nudged it forward. Did she want me to eat this? After I was so ready to make up my mind on not eating like an animal. My stomach had other ideas.

I cautiously approached the corpse. Without further resistance, I dug into the meal in front of me. Tearing off strips of flesh and greedily consuming them. I looked up at the creature's odd expression, possibly due to the fact that I was a carnivorous pony. Her expression shifted into something warmer, the eyes of a mother that had lost her child. Those eyes reflected my own.

I finished my meal and wiped my now bloody face the best I could before cautiously walking over to the creature. I had to express my thanks. Feeling compelled to embrace her, as words wouldn't work. We hugged and I could feel the affection of the creature directed at me.

This was nice actually. I take back what I said universe, I wouldn't mind staying just like this.

My feelings of loneliness partially subsided.