I Am Alone

I woke up with a start, my heart racing. My foreleg was cuffed to the bed. Panic set in as I tugged at the restraints, but they wouldn't budge. As I sat there, trapped and afraid, memories flooded my mind.

I remembered attacking Skywing, biting her and ripping out a chunk of her flesh. The guilt and regret weighed heavily on me, and I wished I could take it all back. But it was too late. I had hurt someone and now I was paying the price for it. I hung my head in shame, tears streaming down my face.

That horrible taste still lingered in my mouth. I ran my tongue across my pointed front teeth absentmindedly.

Suddenly, I heard muffled voices outside my room. "Yes, I'm here to pick up one Grey Nick," a low monotone voice said. "I have all the paperwork right here."

"Uh, I'm not sure," another voice responded. "Let me check with my supervisor."

A few moments later, the door opened and a pony I've never seen before entered. He was a lanky gray stallion, darker than me, with a sleek black mane slicked back over his head. An air of intelligence radiated from his sharp eyes and his demeanor suggested a high level of confidence. Despite his professional appearance, there was something unsettling about him that made me uneasy. The marking on his hindquarters was a black hourglass, all possible meanings made me shudder.

"My name is Grim Reminder, I am here to discharge you." He spoke with a slight rasp.

I tried to ask questions, but he cut me off with a raised hoof.

"Everything's been taken care of," he said smoothly. "We need to get you out of here immediately." Calmly and measured with no sense of emotion or excitement.

I looked at him warily. "Where you 'a'ing me?"

He didn't answer, just unlocked my handcuffs, disconnected all the hospital equipment from my foreleg and helped me out of bed. I stumbled a bit, still feeling groggy from the sedatives. My wings ruffled through the holes in the hoodie made for them.

As we walked down the hallway, I overheard Grim Reminder talking into his earpiece. "I have the subject. We're on our way out."

I started to feel a knot in my stomach. What kind of "subject" am I? And who was this pony taking me away?

Grim Reminder led me out of the hospital, the sound of his hooves echoing through the long, twisting hallways. As we walked, I couldn't help but feel a growing sense of unease, like something was deeply wrong. My right hind leg still pained me, but I was given no sympathy.

Suddenly, we rounded a corner and came face-to-face with my nurse, Helping Hoof. She looked surprised to see me, and I could tell that she was about to ask where we were going.

But Grim Reminder was too quick for her. "Excuse me, miss," he said smoothly, flashing a piece of paper with an official-looking stamp on it. "We're on official business. I'm afraid I can't say more."

Helping Hoof looked skeptical, but she didn't press the issue. "Well, alright then," she said, stepping aside to let us pass.

As we continued down the hallway, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was very, very wrong.

I gave a forlorn glance back at Helping, but my gaze was met with a sympathetic yet helpless expression from her. I fluttered my wings, feeling the cool air on my feathers. I wished I could fly away from this confusion and uncertainty. I couldn't help but feel a sense of betrayal, I thought Helping would help me. I thought she was nice.

Grim Reminder led me down the hallway, his long strides forcing me to trot to keep up with my small useless little legs. I felt a growing sense of unease, unsure of where we were going or what was going to happen to me.

We passed several ponies, staff and visitors alike, none of which paid us a second glance.

As we approached the exit, I saw a sleek black chariot seemingly drawn by nothing waiting for us outside. The chariot was decorated with silver filigree and seemed to gleam even in the late evening. Its tinted windows made it impossible to see into.

Grim opened the door and gestured with a sideways nod of his head for me to climb in. I hesitated for a moment considering just legging it, before giving up on that notion and climbing into the chariot, settling into the cushioned seat. The lanky stallion climbed across from me, then tapped a hoof against the side of the chariot.

I looked up at my supposed captor, feeling a sense of fear wash over me. "Wh-where going?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly.

The gray-furred stallion didn't answer me, instead keeping his eyes fixated on the scenery passing us by. I shifted in my seat, feeling increasingly uneasy. "Why no talk?" I asked, struggling to form the words, further cursing my limited vocabulary.

He let out a deep sigh and turned to face me. "We're going to a special place," he said slowly, enunciating each word as if I were a child. "A place where they can help you."

As I sat in the chariot with Grim, I couldn't shake off the feeling that he was treating me like a child. His words were slow and simple, as if he thought I wouldn't understand anything more complicated. But I was far from being a child—I had the mind of an adult male, even though I was stuck in the body of a small useless flightless winged child.

"Help m-me?" I repeated, my nonfunctional wings fluttering nervously.

Grim Reminder nodded. "Yes, help you. Make you better."

I felt frustrated that Grim Reminder couldn't see past my physical appearance and realize that I was capable of more than he gave me credit for. I wanted to tell him that he didn't need to talk to me like I was a fucking child, that I could handle complex concepts and conversation. But I didn't know how to express myself without my speech impediment getting in the way.

I didn't know what to say. How could they make me better if I didn't feel like there was anything wrong with me? "No un'ers'an'," I muttered, looking down at my hooves.

Grim Reminder reached over and patted me on the head. "Don't worry, little one. Everything will be okay."

I tried my best to stay calm and composed, to not let my annoyance show. But every time Grim Reminder spoke to me in that slow, patronizing tone, it was like he was chipping away at my dignity and self-respect. I wished he could see me as an equal, not as some helpless little filly who needed to be taken care of.

I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, like something wasn't right. I couldn't quite put my hoof on it, but I knew that this "special place" Grim Reminder was taking me to wasn't going to be a good thing. But I didn't know what to do or say, so I simply sat there, my wings tucked tightly against my sides, lost in my thoughts.

The self-driving chariot lifted into the air after some kilometres and started flying. Of all the things I'd witnessed, nothing surprised me more.

We flew for hours, the landscape below grew increasingly desolate and barren. My stomach growled, but Grim Reminder didn't seem to notice or care. Eventually, we landed at a massive complex of buildings surrounded by high walls and barbed wire. Six single letters were printed in massive letters on the walls and the side of the building. I couldn't concentrate on them for long enough to remember their English equivalents. The dots in between the letters suggested to me that it was an abbreviation of some kind.

As we crossed over into the facility's airspace, I felt a sudden sense of dread wash over me. I had no idea where I was nor what was going to happen to me, but I knew it couldn't be good.

Our landing was less than graceful, akin to suddenly slamming on the brakes. Grim departed first, holding open the door for me.

“Out.” He instructed. The one word holding authority, but also instilling fear in me.

I timidly scooted out of my seat and departed the chariot also, almost tripping over the hoodie sleeves on the way. Grim then started walking towards an entrance to the facility.

“Follow.” he called back, not even bothering to look at me.

My ears folded back as I began to follow him. I still tried to limit the amount of pressure I was placing on my damaged leg. As I walked after him I looked around and noticed armed guards patrolling the walls. Just what were they guarding here?

Grim stopped to address some nearby ponies who looked as stern and cold as he did, some words I couldn't quite make out were exchanged and they gestured for us to follow them inside.

The interior of the facility was just as intimidating as the outside. The halls were lined with reinforced doors, and guards patrolled the corridors at regular intervals. I kept my head down, feeling like a prisoner being led to her cell.

We arrived at a door marked Medical Wing, and Grim gestured for me to enter. I hesitated, looking up at him with pleading eyes. "Pwease no weave," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

Grim gave me a sympathetic look, which I assumed was false as he didn't offer any reassurance. "I'll have to leave you once we're inside. But don't worry, they'll take good care of you."

Entering the Hospital Wing, I was then led to another marked Research and Development. Which seemed odd for a Hospital Wing.

What I saw looking around the room horrified me to all ends. Ponies in padded cells, with glass front walls. As if they were exhibits being shown off. Most of them were in deep stages of psychosis.

In the cell closest to my line of sight sat a drooling mess of a mare with pink fur and a violet tangled mess for her mane and tail. Her most startling feature were her eyes, also violet in colour but her pupils were swirls. She babbled to herself incoherently. Her mark, a baseball and a screw. Her grin was manic and unsettling. She was staring right at me, although she might as well have been staring through me.

The cell adjacent to her was empty save for various equipment made for restraining. What looked like vibrant pink bomb residue stained the walls. It had very obviously been empty for a while. Whatever was in that cell, they were waiting for it to return.

Suddenly, a tall unicorn with a white lab-coat over similarly coloured fur and an ocean blue mane approached us. "Welcome, welcome," he said in a friendly tone. "I am Doctor Test Chambers, head scientist here at the Equestrian Quantum Universal Intelligence Nexus and Experimentation facility. And who is this adorable little filly?"

Ignoring the fact that the facility's name was literally “EQUINE,” Dr. Chambers disgusted me within the first two seconds of meeting him. I flinched at his condescending tone. He too regarded me as nothing more than a fragile child. I tried to speak up but the words I wanted to spout I could not form.

Dr. Chambers didn't seem to notice my discomfort, instead focusing on my physical appearance. "My, my, what a specimen you are," he said, examining my wings and hooves. Even going so far as sticking his hoof in my gums and revealing my razor sharp teeth. "I can't wait to study you and unlock the secrets of your unique physiology."

His words provoked a chill to run down my spine. I didn't want to be studied or exploited like a common lab rat. I didn't want to be dissected and have pins stuck in me, I was scared. But I didn't know how to fight my way out of Dr. Chambers' control. He was an adult who was taller than Grim, and thus vastly more intimidating to a child like myself.

I looked up at the ever stoic Grim, hoping for some support or reassurance, but he simply stood by silently, eyes straight ahead watching the exchange. I suddenly felt more alone and helpless than ever.

My visible discomfort did not seem to faze the good doctor. “We'll be doing some tests shortly, and taking samples. It’s all in the name of science, they won’t hurt… much.”

I retreated back some steps, into Grim. “N-n-no h-h-h-urt.” I stammered. I wanted to protest more but simply did not have the words.

Grim stepped around and past me, his presence now strangely reassuring. Directly in front of the doctor he firmly told him, “She will not be harmed.”

Dr. Chambers nodded, but I could see a glint in his eye that made me uneasy. I knew I was in for a lot more than just a few tests. Grim’s words may go unheeded.

Fear lodged in my throat.

“Of course, my good agent. Why don’t you find our guest,” he said that with a certain inflection I was sure was not welcoming, “...suitable accommodation.” His smirk was even more unnerving.

Grim nodded and pushed me along into one of the padded cells. I tried protesting and backpedaling but Grim wouldn’t budge. With a press of a button, the glass front slid down and shut me off from Grim and the rest of the outside world.

Looking around the small cell, there wasn’t even a bed or table in sight. Just padding, on the floor, walls, and ceiling. It was like I was in an insane asylum from the 1940s. I felt a deep sense of confinement and unease.

After Grim had well and truly left, I couldn’t help but to compare him with Dr. Chambers. While Grim was strict and gruff, he treated me like a pony, not just an experiment. Dr. Chambers, on the other hand, saw me as a mere subject to be studied and manipulated.

I shuffled over to the furthest corner, spun around several times before settling down. The hospital’s hoodie I still wore was my only sense of comfort. My mind raced with thoughts of escape, all of which I knew were impossible to achieve. I needed to find a way out. Grim couldn’t protect me from everything, probably not even Dr. Chambers.

As I closed my eyes, the reality of the situation set in.

I was trapped, vulnerable, and alone.