Hold me in your arms

My mind is blank as I sit at the massive crystalline table that doubled not only as a map of the country but the few neighboring countries as well, the six thrones in a wide circle with each pony sitting in their respective seat marked with what Twilight called cutiemarks whatever the hell those things are.

“Milo, do you understand what I’ve been saying?” Twilight asked a concerned look on her face.

The ringing in my ears growing louder by the second, drowning out any background noise or voices. I stare at the ponies around me studying and waiting for anything to happen I shift my eyes over to Luna studying her intently as I reach into the inside pocket of my jacket and pull out a joint and lighter.

Putting it to my lips I light the end and inhale a bit to get a cherry on the end, blowing the smoke out it swirls down across the table like fog down a street. The ringing in my ears fades and I see that everyone is staring at me, I take the joint from my mouth with the tip of my wing like I would with fingers and hear Twilight ask me something.

“Why are you smoking a joint in my castle?!” Twilight huffs out.

“So the ringing in my ears would stop,” I say as I look over the joint between my wing tip before floats out of my grasp towards Luna as she puts it between her lips and takes a hit, I look at her not sure what to make of what’s happening.

“Luna is that really necessary?” Celestia says as she scowled at Luna.

“Let’s get to the point, why do you think I’m this legendary warrior of a distant past according to what the nerd says.” I say putting my front hooves on the map as I point a wing at Twilight.

“Well you are exactly what I remember from those bloody days of war, the way you move to the scar that reaches down your barrel.” Luna states as she floats the joint back to me in her magic.

“Ok but that’s just similarities and semantics, I was adopted in my world I have no connection to this place.” I reply before taking a drag from the quickly diminishing joint.

“Interesting, I do you know who your real parents are or what happened to them?” Luna asks as she gets up from her seat and walks over to me slowly, she stands a good head taller which she uses to her advantage.

“I have no clue who my real parents are or anything surrounding my adoption, my parents won’t tell me anything and get really weird when I bring it up,” I reply, eyeing the dark blue Alicorn.

“Let me try memory magic, it will allow me to view your memories but only if you let me.” She says as she charges her magic through her horn.

“You won’t like what you see.”

“I’ve seen the blood soaked fields of battle, fought my own kinsponies, and have slaughtered scores of enemies all in the name of this country so believe me when I tell you I can handle it.”

“Luna I have no doubt that you’ve seen things that would send anyone into a mental breakdown but trust me when I say that you won’t like what you see, I’m assuming there is an emotional side to this magic as well so steel yourself for what comes next.” I warn her.

She nods at my statement and looks at me for my approval, slowly nodding as I look into her eyes as I stand still while my joint falls on the floor when Luna’s magic worms it’s way into me. My mind goes blank and I black out still standing on my hooves, Luna’s eyes go white and her consciousness enters my mind.

deep inside Milo’s mind

“Welcome to the most disturbing place this side of the Copperhead river if you’ll follow the path laid out before you the answers you seek are at the end of this ride, so sit back relax if you can, and enjoy the show.”The disembodied voice said as a path slowly lit up in front of Luna.

“All of this is in his mind, just how fractured is he?” She whispered to herself as she slowly walked forward.

“The first stop on this journey are that of fear and pain, much like every child that comes into this world there is only distorted voices, blurry distant shapes, cold, and immense pain; but don’t worry to keep everyone safe here you will only experience a fraction of what actually happened so brace yourself and hold on tight.” The voice said as Luna walked up to a door of pure white, the black chains that were bound across it slowly slithered back, allowing the door to open.

“We need to get him to the NICU fast, this little guy checked out thirteen weeks early and from what the mother said she was about to have him on the way here.”A voice said, slightly distorted from the low ringing that assaulted Luna’s ears.

“Where are you taking my baby, at least let me hold him!”A woman’s voice shouted at the doctors.

“Sorry miss but we have to get him stabilized and in an incubator, he was born so early that he can’t survive without medical assistance.”

The crying faded as the memory skipped forward, fuzzy shapes and muffled voices surrounded the incased Infant. The only things that Luna could make out was the distant shape of a woman looking into the incubation chamber, a hand came through one of the ports at the end and a feeling of calm washed over her.

Another skip forward and the infant was a bit bigger strapped down to a board unable to move in a different room. Cold was all Luna could feel, then immense pain and the tearing of flesh. Trying to hold on to consciousness for a bit longer Luna screamed before she blacked out. Next thing she experienced was waking up in the arms of a stranger trying to feed the infant with a bottle, the infant was too dazed from what happened to latch onto the faux nipple.

“He won’t feed, nurse is this normal?”The stranger’s voice said.

“Yea he won’t feed right away, try again in an hour or when he’s awake next,” the nurse said to the woman holding the infant wrapped in a blanket.

The ringing in Luna’s ears was louder this time as it drowned out all the background noise in the room, the pain ebbed and flowed over her whole body in waves before she passed out.

When Luna came to she was back on the path in Milo’s mind, trying to stand on shaky legs she looked around to get her bearings, “Milo what was that just now, I have not experienced a memory so vividly before. I felt everything, the pain, cold, the unforgiving touch of strangers; answer me!” Luna shouted.

“Would you like to continue or return to your own mind?”The voice asked.

“Milo show yourself right now, I need an explanation!” Luna exclaimed, her legs shaking as she tried to stand again , the pain of the previous memory still washing over her body.

“That was just a glimpse of what is to come Princess, that’s why I told you to steel yourself before doing this,” I said as I walked up to her, placing a hand around her barrel and lifting her to her shaking hooves, “that was just one memory we still have more to go.”

“How many more.”

“I don’t really know, most of what I’ve experienced is a blur now. The memory you just came out of was a bodily memory, one of immense pain and cold the next memories will be more vivid and realistic, you will be in my consciousness seeing everything through my eyes and feeling every emotion and pain that I have experienced in my life up until now, so I ask you this, do you want to continue?”

“Yes, but what happened to you when you were born, there was so much pain and the touch of a woman that was calming then another touch that felt like death, then after that there was another sensation that was unfamiliar and uncomfortable.”

“Ah, that was the cruelty of my adoptive parents. That pain you felt was something that the majority of males go through called circumcision.”

“What’s that?”

“Long story short it’s based on a religious practice that removes what is essentially the sheath of the penis.”

“So your parents had you undergo surgery to remove the sheath?”

“Yes, essentially. I’ll explain in more detail after you’ve completed the ride.”

We walk to another door, this one a warm yellowish orange, no chains or locks bound across it. I open the door and walk inside as Luna follows behind me.

Unrelenting heat was all Luna could feel, the sounds of water lapping at the floating dock calmed her mind and soothed troubled nerves.

“Now when you see that bobber go under the water what do you do?” An elderly voice quietly says as his hand grasps the young boy’s shoulder firmly.

“I break the fishes jaw, and get ready for a fight,” the young boy says back to the elderly man behind him looking over his shoulder smiling up at his elder.

“That’s right my boy now keep your eyes on the bobber.”

“Yes sir.”

“That takes me back, gods I miss him so much,” I walk up beside Luna and sit on the bank of the lake.

I set down the tackle box down beside me and cast the line from the fishing pole in my hands, “this is the first time I was taught how to fish, I was maybe five or six years old and I caught this massive fish, watch,” I tell Luna with a sad smile.

“Just be patient Milo the fish will come,” my gramps says as he points out to the bobber gently rocking in the small wakes on the water.

“Alright gramps,” I say softly, mimicking my younger self as I focus in on the bobber in front of me, the damp ground beneath me making my jeans slightly wet as my toes are getting kissed from the lake.

“Steady now my boy, wait till your bobber goes completely under and…. NOW! Break its jaw and hold on,” He excitedly says holding onto me.

“I got it gramps, it’s a fighter!”

“Reel it in Milo!”

I look over at Luna who is completely focused on the memory of me with my gramps teaching me how to fish, she looks shocked as I pull the massive catfish on the floating dock and look up at my granddad.

“I did it!”

“We’ll have to keep this one for the fish fry tonight, you sure are a natural my boy.”

I let the fishing pole go from my hand and wrap my arms around him, “thanks for being the best.”

“Now let’s load up and have a fish fry I think we caught enough, we don’t want to catch all the fish cause next time you’re out here there’d be none left.”

A warm smile comes to my lips as get up and brush myself off, “come moon butt, time for the next door,” I say to Luna as I walk past her.

“Wait is there more to this memory, your grandpa said there was a fish fry, whatever that is,” Luna asked as she cantered up to me.

“Nope, I fell asleep when he was driving back to his place and I didn’t wake up till they started serving food,” I said as I aimlessly looked for the next door.

I stop dead in my tracks remembering what came next, “oh no,” I say in a low voice.

“Top of the ninth and the Red Birds need a strike out to win it, there’s runners on the corners, here’s the pitch…. And that’s the game The Red Birds win, The Red Birds win the series four games to one!” A distant announcer screamed.

I Loved this day, knowing the memory well. My favorite baseball team just won the World Series, but, just a little over two months later in the middle of winter, gramps passed from his long battle with cancer. A black door appeared in front of Luna and myself, there was a brass plate on it reading: ‘those who have passed shall live on in memory and the wisdom they hand down, for he was my hero and one of the best men that I have ever known.’

Luna tries to walk into the memory but she just runs into the door face first, she looks confused as to why this memory was blocked until she took a step back. The door morphed into a large grey headstone with the memoriam carved on the face and a picture of his smiling face as he held me on his knee.

“This was one of the hardest days I have had to face early on in my life, I was only about twelve years old when he passed,” I tell Luna, my voice quiet and emotionless, “let’s move on, there is still more to come.”

Luna and I walked down the path for quite some time mostly in silence until the scenery changed from that of a misty grey fog to that of dark city streets with multiple intersections. The low sound of music played in the background as the rain started to come down as we entered the cityscape, I snap my fingers and vanish from Luna’s side.

“Which path will lead to the truth, find your way through the fractured maze and make it to the end as both pain and pleasure, life and death await you on this ride. In the end only you can decide if you want to move forward, choose wisely,” I tell Luna as I laugh manically watching her gallop down the broken streets.

“MILO GET BACK HERE AND GUIDE ME THROUGH THIS MAZE THAT IS YOUR FRACTURED MIND,” Luna proclaims, her voice reaching an impossible level of amplification.

“No, you wanted to experience this and find out if I am this legendary warrior of your world’s past. But you forget one thing Princess, I am the master of my mind, now choose a door!

Luna galloped down the street in front of her before turning left down an unnamed street, she came to a dead end before barreling through a deep purple door, what awaited her on the other side was not what she was expecting, her body became hot, almost hyper sensitive. She saw two people on a bed the white sheets strewn about, the evening glow of sunset shining through the windows as small gasps and moans escaped from the woman.

“M…Mil…” The young woman stammered out before letting out an ear piercing scream of pleasure.

“Already, am I really that good or are you just on a hair trigger Britt.” The young man said as he lifted himself from between her thighs and slowly crawled over her lightly kissing up her body.

Luna wore a deep blush across her face as she was forcibly ejected from the memory, the door fading back into the broken street. Shaking her head and slowly walking back where she entered Luna walked down the Main Street hoping to find anything to prove that I was this legendary warrior.

Rounding a corner she came across a door with a brilliant red rune carved on it, ᛏ, it stood out almost calling to her, inviting her in.

“This looks promising,” Luna said under her breath as she walked into the memory.

The scene was something that Luna recognized almost immediately, a grass field covered with bodies and a burning fort in the background, the heavy smell of blood hung in the air. A pony was limping along, wings unfolded and dragging on the ground.

“Gods, if you are listening; I’m tired and battle hardened, broken. In my next life I don’t want to fight, I want to be with my wife again.” The black Pegasus called out before collapsing on the ground.

“So that’s what happened to you, then my patrol should be coming within a day or two if my memory serves correctly,” Luna said aloud to herself, as she slowly walked up to the fallen pegasus.

”Luna, what are you doing here, I thought you were still back at the camp?” The pegasus said with a weak voice.

“You can see me?”

“Yes, and I’m guessing this is just a memory then?”

“Unfortunately it is a faint memory of a past life, so this is what happened to the Black Berserker, what you did at Fort Ebonclaw won this war actually,”

“I was trying to find my wife, I heard a rumor that there were Equestrian prisoners at this fort so I set out to see if my wife was here. Turns out they killed every single prisoner they had. I slaughtered everyone I saw, no one saw any mercy from my blades.”

“The bloodiest part of this war was done by a single pony, not by the battalions of soldiers in the open fields.”

”It’s funny really, I asked the gods with all my strength to let me be with my wife, looks like that didn’t happen if you are here.”

“I do not know, this is just a memory I am viewing. I am terribly sorry but I must thank you for what you accomplished here today, Equestria won’t forget what you did to turn the tide of this long and bloody war, may you be at peace and go into the next life as fearless as you are in your final moments.” Luna hung her head as she took the wing blades off the Black Berserker.

The memory faded to inky black and she was forced out onto the crumbling city streets again, rain drenching her in a matter of seconds.

“I found what I needed to confirm what the archives have recorded. Milo pull me out!” Luna yelled over the deafening pound of rain.

There was no answer, just empty streets and buildings. Luna slowly trotted down Main Street her hooves clipping and clopping as she pushed forward.

“I can’t do anything in here, the control over his mind is strangely powerful,” Luna muttered to herself as she smacked right into the door that popped up in front of her.

ᛜ the rune on the door glowed with a brilliant red almost pulsing like a heart beat. As Luna walked through she was greeted with the smell of pancakes, fresh fruit, frying meats, and a feeling of home.

A pair of hands wrapped around Milo’s waist as the soft pops and static from the record player as the music softly played in the background.

“Morning my love,” the female voice said sleepily as she pressed herself more into his back and her hands tightening around his waist slowly moving her hands up his front.

“Breakfast is almost ready honey, I’ve got some hash browns keeping warm in the oven and the bacon and sausage should be done let me just fry up some cherry tomatoes and sunny side up eggs just the way you like.”

“I’ve got something to tell you,” the woman said as she gently pulled Milo away from the stove.

“What do you need to tell me darling, hopefully nothing bad?” Milo replied as he shut the burner off on the stove and plated up their breakfast, “honey let me get breakfast ready first.”

Two plates stacked with a bed of hash browns, two sunny side up eggs, bacon crossed in the shape of an X over the eggs. Bringing the two plates to the table and setting them down side by side Milo then turned to the woman who was playfully pouting in the kitchen, “what did you wanna tell me Britt?” He asked as he slowly walked up to her.

“Well my love, if you’re done ignoring me, I’m pregnant,” she said a smirk on her face.

“This is amazing news darling, now I have a question to ask you,” Milo said as he tightly held her in his arms.

“Yes”

“I didn’t ask but if that’s your final answer”

“Is the Black Berserker trying to sway my answer cause you didn’t even need to ask me such a question,” Britt playfully said as I lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around my hips locking her in place.

“Something small, friends and family only,” Milo said between kisses.

“After high school love,” Britt replies before she kisses him deeply