Hold me in your arms

Dear mom,
I don’t know if you’re out there or if I will ever find you but I want to know who you are. All these feelings I have of not knowing where I come from, fitting in, and the feeling of a great loss I have every day isn’t helping. I feel myself slipping through the cracks of sanity more and more and there’s nothing that I can do to stop it, of all the times I ask about you to my adoptive parents it gets swept under the rug and I can’t take it anymore.

There is so much I want to tell you in person but I can only write them in a letter that I know won’t reach you. I lost my fiancé and our child on the same day, a week later I almost died from an accident at work from me being stupid on top of all that.

I got a tattoo the day I lost my whole world and tried to take my life as well which landed me in a mental institution for a few months, I don’t know if you’re alive or dead out in this world but I know I’m missing something from my life and right now I could use my mother.

Your lost son,
Milo