Hold me in your arms

Luna’s chest was pounding as she stood out in the hall as her thoughts went wild. That little voice in her head piped up whispering sweet nothings to her, “you should help him, he’s in pain over the loss of someone he held close. You could fill that void for your student.”

“No, Milo doesn’t need that confusion right now, he’s going through a massive loss. I can only be there to comfort him and listen it wouldn’t be right to do that.” Luna’s inner monologue replies.

The voice in her head huffs, “I know you Luna, for you are me and I am you. I know you got aroused by your student being vulnerable with you. How he held your waist and ran his hands up your sides only to lightly kiss your forehead. You can’t deny it, you saw his toned body when he walked out of the showers and his bits as well.”

“Lulu…Luna, anyone home?” I say as I wave a hand in front of her face but not getting a response.

“We’ll only one thing to do then.” I say to myself before I lower my body into a squat and grab Luna around the waist, lifting up and hoisting her over my right shoulder. “Come on space cadet.”

“Oh how you blushed when you saw it, you wanted to feel everything didn’t you?” Her inner voice cried out mockingly.

“I swear if you don’t stop right now I’ll lock you away like I did the last time.” Luna said out loud, looking around seeing that she was lightly bobbing and facing backwards. “What’s happening!?!” She said in a panic flailing her arms and legs trying to get on her feet only to be held in place by her student’s arm firmly on her hips.

“Settle down Lulu or I’m gonna drop you if you keep flailing like that.” I tell her, as I swing her down in my arms carrying her bridal style. My arms across her back and right above her knee on the underside of her thighs, my hands gripping her firmly. My mind wanders back to when I carried Britt like this only to be snapped out of my daze by a hand on my chest and a light moan.

“Mr. Blackwood put me down people are staring and it’s embarrassing.” Luna says in a quiet tone.

“I’ve got a plan, don’t worry about it just hold on till we get to your office.” I tell her quietly.

She looks up at me blushing even harder, if that was even possible. “Don’t worry, she twisted her ankle pretty bad and I’m taking her to the nurses office.” I say loudly as to draw everyone’s attention if they weren’t already looking at me carrying the vice principal in my arms.

“See nothing to worry about.” I say as I walk down the hallway exiting the athletic wing.

Luna looked as if her face was going to melt from the public embarrassment. “This is completely inappropriate Mr. Blackwood what if my sister sees this, she’d tease me for weeks.” Luna huffs quietly.

“Oh get off it Lulu, lol. Like I said I have this under control and besides with how red your face is and how much you’re protesting I’d say this right here is adorable.” I tell her as I turn the corner heading to the administration hall. “Besides you haven’t been struggling, but your breath is getting a bit heavy.” Looking her in the eyes as I give her a playful smile as I lightly pinch her, feeling the padding of her bra. A small gasp escapes Luna’s lips as I reach the door to her office. Turning the knob and laying her on the couch.

“You know you want to, he was basically feeling you up while carrying you.” The voice in Luna’s head piped in, “I hope he doesn’t smell that in the air.”

Luna scowls at her inner thoughts tormenting her. “You ok Lulu, I didn’t melt your brain carrying you.” I say as I sit in Luna’s chair behind her desk, my feet propped up on the top as I recline back taking a puff from my weed pen.

“Mr. Blackwood, what you did was embarrassing and inappropriate to say the least. Get your feet down off my desk right now.” Luna says with a cold tone while getting up from the couch and a scowl plastered on her face.

“You can’t stay mad at him, remember what he’s going through. Think about how it felt when he was carrying you, you haven’t felt like that in a long time.” Her in we voice came back, “I know you want to, why not indulge a little bit.”

“Stop this right now!” Luna shouts, fists clenched and eyes screwed tightly shut as a tear runs down her cheek.

“You okay Luna?” I ask my voice stating flat, bringing my feet down from her desk and getting up to walk over to her.

“Just stop.” Luna says in a ragged voice. “Stop.”

“Fighting some inner demons I see.” I ask Luna who is slightly trembling.

I walk over to her and place a hand on her shoulder trying to get her to sit down again. “Tell me what’s going on. You helped me now let me help you.”

“No, just let me be Mr. Blackwood. You don’t know what I’m going through.” Luna chokes out a sob.

“You’re right, I don’t know what you’re going through but I also have some demons that torture my mind. Just before school started I tried to take my life.” I said to her in a quiet voice, wiping the tears from her eyes. Straining my neck to my left shoulder to show Luna a scar that ran along my collar. “I tried to hang myself a month after Britt’s wake.”

Luna still had her eyes screwed shut. “Luna Look at me!” I commanded in a harsh gravely voice almost like a bark. “See this scar right here.” I say softly again as I take her hand and trace it across my neck. “That was from the rope I tied to the metal bar in my closet to hang clothes, my adoptive mom found me blue in the face hanging limp while my legs were locked out in front of me to where I couldn’t get up if I tried, I had accepted what I was doing just so I could be free of this pain.”

Luna still running her fingertips on my scar, her soft fingers dancing around the raised edges by my jaw. “I woke up in the hospital strapped down to the bed while my adoptive family was gathered around praying to their god that I would make it. I freaked out from being restrained which set off the heart monitor and freaked everyone out, now looking back on that incident it’s funny to me.” I say with a dark chuckle at the end of my story. “I know you close yourself off from everyone with that cold outwardly gaze. What’s going on Lulu?”

“Yo….you really want to know?” Luna says as her voice trembles a bit.

I nod my head pulling her into a loose hug, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and head. “Yes I want to know. You are the only one I’ve opened up to about what I’ve been through and the pain I am in. I’d like to be here for you like you were for me in the locker room.” I whisper through her hair.

She wraps her arms around my torso grasping tightly at the back of my shirt. Softly crying into my chest. The door opens quietly and Celestia pops her head in, “is this a good time?” She says in a hushed tone.

I look over Luna and shake my head signaling that it isn’t a good time. “She’s going through some stuff, just let her cry it out Tia.” I say softly, the door closes again and I turn back to Luna

“Was that my sister?” Luna says between sobs. I stroke her head lightly trying to calm her down.

“Yea, I told her that we are working some stuff out and to give us some time.” I tell her, my shirt becoming wet from tears. I sit with Luna in my arms waiting for her to gather the courage to tell me about her inner demons that have been keeping her at an arms length with everyone.

“You ready to talk about it now?” I ask releasing my arms from Luna’s shoulders, looking down at her with a light smile and warm tone.

She nods slowly, I can see some hesitation as she tries to straighten up. Wiping her eyes clear and turning towards me. “It’s my sister, everyone loves her. They ask her to solve their problems or invite her to sit with them at lunch. And she is always perfect too not doing anything wrong, always showing me up.” Luna says with venom in her voice. “It’s not fair, she even flaunts that she’s in a relationship, and she never sees how that effects me. It’s like she has to be the main character and I’m just in the background.”

“I see, I know how that is cause my brother does the same thing. Is it annoying, yes, does it hurt, all the time. I know that same pain Luna, it’s not easy seeing everyone be happy while being so immersed in pain.” I say relating to my own experience. “I offered to have lunch with you, because I see that you want to be seen. So I am telling you that I see you Luna, I know your pain and I know how hard it can be.”

“Aww. He’s being so supportive, you should see where this goes.” That inner voice taunts and pushes.

“No one has ever seen me for me Mr. Blackwood.” Luna says with relief in her voice. “Thank you.”

Luna leans into me and wraps her arms around my torso again, running her hands down my back and lightly kissing my chest. She slips her hands under my shirt and runs her hands over my back, “you have another scar on your back.” Luna says softly muffled by her face buried in my chest.

“I have many scars and stories behind them, now isn’t the time for that story.” I say lightly

“He’s showing you so much affection right now, being so intimate, holding you close, and genuinely caring for you.” Luna’s inner voice whispers out.

“Milo?” Luna asks with a whisper.

“Yes Luna, what is it?” I reply softly to her question. Releasing my grasp on her to see her face clearly.

“Why are you doing this? Why do you want to get to know me because no one has ever been this close to me without getting hurt.” Luna inquired as she looks into my eyes. I place a hand on her cheek while my other hand moves to the small of her back. A small gasp escapes Luna’s lips as I look deeply into her eyes.

“Because I see the pain in your eyes every day just like mine, how you hold everyone at arms length not opening yourself up. I know how that is because I have closed myself off from Britt’s death till now, I’d like to open up again and I’d like to see you open up.” I tell Luna as I lightly rub her cheek with my thumb while I lightly lift the edge of her shirt and trace small circles with my index finger on the small of her back. Luna inhales sharply and lightly trembles under my soft touch, her lips part for a second and close again as I fan my fingers down to the top of her jeans and back up again.

“He’s teasing you and he knows it.” That inner voice chimes in pushing Luna further and further. “Kiss the scars on his neck, ease that pain in his eyes looking deeply into yours.”

Still running my calloused fingertips on the small of Luna’s back I feel a small scar, tracing the small raised flesh wondering the story of how she got it. “How’d you get this scar right here?” I say as I press down the small spongy skin.

“That scar goes lower, I had a minor surgery when I was in university.” Luna says while averting her gaze.

“And these scars right here?” I say while removing my hands from her lifting the sleeves of her shirt a bit higher.

“I’m not proud of those.” Luna says ashamed of the thought of what happened.

Taking her arm in one hand while lightly tracing the small thin scars that line her upper forearm and lower bicep like a washboard. My eyes moved up her arm to her neck and jawline. “What about this one right here?” Asking her as I trace her collarbone, a small shutter is the response I get as my fingertips move along the raised surface of scar tissue.

“Motorcycle accident, I have pins.” She says in a light airy breath as my fingers still trace over her collarbone down to where the left meets the right one.

The door bursts open as Celestia walks in. “Luna what is going on?” She says as she sees my fingers tracing her sister’s collarbone. “Mr. Blackwood explain what you are doing right now.”

“Well it’s a long involved story that started with this.” I say in a nonplused tone taking off my shirt showing Celestia my scars on my chest and back. “Luna accidentally came into the locker room while I was putting my shirt on after washing the dried blood off. She was curious on how I got these.”

Pointing to the large scar that ran down my chest crossing over apart of the tattoo on my right side. “I was working with my dad and the drill slipped and spent a few weeks in the hospital.” I say tracing the scar down my chest, walking closer to Celestia. Her taller form looking down at me, moving my head to my left I show her the scar around my upper neck.

“This one was from my suicide attempt about a month before school started, I hung myself off the clothes rack in my closet. And the one on my back was from my brother stabbing me.” Turning around to show Celestia the damage to my body, I turn back around to face Celestia who had a wide eyed look of shock on her face.

“That doesn’t explain why you were so close to vice principal Luna, my sister.”

Luna spoke up with a commanding voice. “He saw the scar on my collarbone, the one where I wrecked my motorcycle and was in hospital for two surgeries where I had four pins put in.” Giving her sister a scowl. “When you didn’t even bother to visit me because you were ‘too busy’, and to finally see the scar on his back and know the story behind it gives us something to share because we were both hurt by family.”

Celestia looks on in shock as her sister got up and stood behind me placing a hand on my shoulder. Looking back at her I could see the pain in her eyes turn to a fire. “Why are you here in the first place anyways, don’t you have things to do because I am taking care of what I need to and I don’t need a babysitter.”

“We will talk about this later Luna, Mr. Blackwo—“ Celestia tries to get out before I stop her.

“Milo, I’ve said this before Celestia. I think I should tell you the story of why I don’t like to be called Mr. Blackwood.” I say in a cold tone. “Take a seat.” Celestia tries to protest but I speak up again with grit in my voice. “Take a seat Tia.” Taking a deep shaky breath to tell the story.

***

“Milo are you okay?” Luna asks as I sit down on the edge of her desk, looking directly at Celestia with dead eyes. “Milo?”

“I’m fine Lulu, I didn’t think I’d have to tell this story again.” I wave a hand as I a knowledge Luna. “She was the only one who saw me for who I am and she loved me despite the darkness that can infest my mind sometimes. We made a promise to each other to get married after high school but that’s not what was fated to happen because she died in a car crash on the last day of school right after she gave me this.” I take off the Mjöllnir and hold it I front of Celestia. “She was my best friend, a beautiful woman, and a great lover; now all I have are memories of her.” I say to Celestia as a tear comes to my eye.

Luna wrapped her arms around me trying to take away some pain, I place a hand on her shoulder and gently squeeze her. Celestia’s mouth hangs open at the outwardly display by her sister not believing her eyes.

“Luna!” Celestia gasps. “This isn’t something a faculty member should be doing with a student release Mr. Blackwood.”

“Tia he prefers Milo, even after being told three times by him before. Did you even listen to his story at all and how he said that only one person can call him by that title.” Luna says to her sister, looking at Celestia with that fire in her eyes as if she was protecting me from some bully.

I look at the clock on the wall to my right reading fifteen till two. “I think you should work out this tension between the both of you. I need to find a bathroom right quick.” I say to Luna in a hushed tone.

“Very well. Knock before you open the door.” She replies to me.

Getting up from the edge of the desk I head towards the door, stopping to motion to Celestia. “Listen to what she has to say please, I know it’s not my business but it looks like I need to step in here because your sister is in pain.” I say to Celestia before I close the door leaving the two in Luna’s office.

Making my way down the hall trying to clear my head of what just happened I hear a voice behind me. “Watch out!!!”

“Fuck, not again.” I say to myself looking behind me seeing Rainbow speeding from the athletic hall.

Reacting quickly I lower myself, Rainbow crashing into me head on as I turn around. I wrap my arms around her small frame stopping her in her tracks as I shift my weight forward. “Jesse Chambers, you’ve got to stop running into me like this.” I say with a playful tone and a smirk on my face.

“Let me go!” Rainbow says with distain, struggling in my arms.

“I could but then who would save the other students from being trampled by you.” Retorting in a not so serious sarcastic tone. “Unless there’s something that draws you to me like a magnet.”

“You wish, now let go of me.” She says with a huff, looking at me with an angry expression struggling to get free. “What’s that on your neck?”

“This?” I pull the Mjöllnir from under my shirt and show it to her, eyeing my neck closer she gasps.

“No not that, but I do owe Pinkie five bucks now. That right there going from your upper neck by your jawline.” She retorts staring intently at my scar.

“That would be a scar Rainbow.” I say as I let her go, turning my head so she can get a better look. “See a dog bit me when I was in jr high.”

“No way dude!” She gets closer and raises a hand to feel it, her fingers brush my jaw and that’s when it happened. I nipped at her fingers while barking and growling like a dog. Rainbow let out a yelp and pulled her hand to her chest in fear. “What the fuck man!”

“Sorry, must be the dog that transferred to me after the bite.” I choke out while laughing hard. “Can’t believe you fell for that one, got ya good.”

“Real funny.” Rainbow said with an indignant huff.

“This wasn’t a dog bite, it goes from jaw to jaw see.” I say still chuckling as I tilt my head back.

“Dude what happened that gave you that scar though.” Rainbow asked with intensity.

I stop chuckling, completely changing the mood to a cold serious atmosphere. “A failed suicide attempt, it’s an involved story.” I spit out, my voice becoming low and serious.

“Why?” She asks looking me over trying to gauge why I would do anything like that.

“If you’d like to know then let’s take a walk and I’ll tell you the story.” I say as I start to circle around her, I get a few paces ahead and ask if she’s coming nodding her head Rainbow starts after me.

As we walk down the hall I let out a sigh, “when I was in jr. high I was in a relationship, she was my best friend, a beautiful woman, and a great lover. Last day of school I kissed her goodbye when she gave me her Mjöllnir as an informal engagement proposal, she got into the car her parents were in and she didn’t make it home. I found out the next day that she died in a car accident, when I went to the wake two weeks later I carried her casket. That same day I got this tattoo.”
Pulling my shirt collar down to reveal the tattoo only partially marred by the scar running across my chest.

“Wh…I….I don’t know what to say.” Rainbow choked out on the verge of tears.

“About a month later I was working with my dad and I was drilling some holes when I lost control of the big drill in my hands.” Continuing the story as I lift up my shirt to show Rainbow the massive scar across my chest. “The drill bit came down across my chest from my right collarbone to just under my left pec, marring a part of my tattoo in the process. The drill smashed into my ribs and broke a few on my right side.” I pull my shirt down as Rainbow was reaching out a hand to touch the scar, I grab her hand in reflex. “Don’t.”

“S…S…orry.” She chokes out stunned at what she just saw.

“Rainbow darling, there you are.” A posh voice rings out. “Are you coming to the music room, we have to practice that new song.”

“Sorry Rarity I kinda ran into…” Rainbow started but stopped realizing she didn’t know my name.

“Milo Blackwood.” I speak up introducing myself to the fashionable girl walking towards Rainbow.

“Nice to meet you Mr.” Rarity began, I put a finger to her lips stopping her from finishing that sentence.

“Milo, just Milo. Only one person gets to call me by that moniker.” I say with a slight menacing tone while removing my finger from her lips.

“Very well then Milo, may I have my friend for a bit?” Rarity says in a begging tone while batting her eyes at me.

Nodding to Rarity I say to the posh girl. “Take her, she’s already done damage to my finger this morning and I had to stop her from running into me again a few minutes ago.” I turn to leave back where I came from and head down the hall.

“Sorry about what happened to you Milo.” Rainbow said in a monotone voice still shaken from what she had heard.

“It’s okay Jesse Chambers, that’s just the will of the gods and the path of fate. See ya round. Nice to meet you Rarity, hopefully we bump into each other again.” I say to Rainbow Dash and Rarity halfway down the hall.