A Shadow of Myself

Charlotte wasn't very shocked when she found that Sunset was taking a shower. The shower was closed and hooked up to some machinery. From what she could tell, it wasn't using that much water but was repeatedly cycling the same water through some sort of filtration and heating system. The tank couldn't have held more than ten gallons of water, but it moved the water through the system exceedingly fast. The shower was big enough for all but the most oversized Autobots to enter, and Sunset looked comically small in its massive chamber. It being sealed meant Charlotte had to wait for her other self to finish.

There had been an Autobot here a moment ago, but he had walked away from the area as Charlotte had come near. Now the only other person close by was Heavyheart, who stood on a giant metal crate so she could reach the shower controls and was monitoring Sunset's shower.

"You know how to operate the Autobots' equipment?" Charlotte asked as she came beside the hippo.

Heavyheart nodded. "Not all of their gadgets, but a great number of them. When I arrived here, it seemed pragmatic to learn how to use the machines I was surrounded by. Some are still too complex or dangerous for me, but I continue my education daily."

"What are you monitoring on these controls right now?" Charlotte asked as she looked at the dials, buttons, and readouts– none of which made sense to her.

Heavyheart pointed to one reading. "This tracks how hard the water is hitting Sunset Blessing. More force cleans better, but too much can injure her. The Autobots have considerably higher force settings for when they need cleaning." She pointed at another reading. "This tracks the temperature." She pointed to yet another. "This tracks how much dirt and grime has been collected by the filtration system. When it is still rising steadily, I know she is not yet clean. When it stops increasing, I know she is clean, and I can end the shower."

"What do you do with the dirt and grime after it is all collected in the filter?" Charlotte asked.

Heavyheart frowned. "I don't know. I'm assuming the Autobots dump it somewhere or use it for something else…I don't know the best answer. I apologize for not being able to answer that question."

"You don't need to apologize. You aren't anyone's servant," Charlotte replied. "Speaking of which, I'm guessing you're trying to butter her up so she'll give you what you want."

Heavyheart's little ears fluttered. "Can you rephrase that? Your wording did not come across correctly."

"You're being nice to her and serving her so she'll transform you," Charlotte replied.

"If it helps in our liberation from serving the humans, yes," Heavyheart nodded. She then frowned. "Do you know something about giant lizards that died from a big rock falling from the sky?"

Charlotte blinked. "Yeah…dinosaurs are what they were called. I'm guessing Sunset told you about them. Why were you talking about that?"

"She said that long ago, your world was hit by a giant rock, and it caused the extinction of the dominant species, which were these dinosaurs. She said your great thinkers used to think that they all died out within a few hundred years of it happening, it now they understand that while it happened relatively quickly in regard to how long they ruled, it didn't happen all at once, and the dinosaurs died out over the next few million years. She said the big land and air ones died first, then most of the smaller land ones, then the big sea ones, then, at last, the smaller sea ones and the smaller land ones were out-competed for food by new creatures and died, leaving only the small air ones alive. Is this true?"

Charlotte shrugged. "I know the small air ones are birds, and they lived, and all the rest died, but I don't know what died when. I always heard that the asteroid…the big rock…just wiped them out. They don't talk about gradual death over time. I always heard triceratops were the last to die, but she could have better information– who am I kidding; she has more knowledge than me. Why did she bring this up?"

Heavyheart adjusted some dials. The water stopped, and a drying process began. "Because she said an asteroid might have as well hit this world based on its condition, and the dominant species will face the same fate."

Well, that was morbid but in line with Sunset's previous pronouncements regarding this world, so not a surprise. Charlotte didn't disagree. She'd seen the surface and walked through it for days. She imagined the world would have been better off with a nuclear war than whatever the Decepticons had done to it. Even if they were defeated tomorrow, the damage would last for centuries, if not thousands or even millions of years. Defeating Dark Heart, the Decepticons, and the care bears wouldn't fix this place. She didn't know if every pony living all working together could improve this place. Not even Wild Growth in her heyday could make this world bloom.

She watched the drying process, which seemed like it would take as long as the shower, and she let her mind drift, not to how to confront Sunset, but to the misery and hopelessness that seemed to be everywhere. This world was as good as dead. She questioned why the intuits and Autobots still fought for it. Rainbow's whole universe was a frozen tomb. The Devourers, a force that had annihilated countless worlds and civilizations, were on their way to Earth. She was meeting all her childhood toys, and all she saw was misery and death. Where was the hope? Where was the joy?

"Penny for your thoughts, dear?"

Charlotte blinked again and looked at Sunset Blessing, now out of the shower, watching her.

She shook her head. "It's nothing; I was just letting my thoughts wander."

"About Rainbow Brite, I assume," Sunset said as she sat down. "Your talk didn't seem to be going well. It seemed like you matured before she did. I would say I'm proud of how much you've grown up, but that won't make you feel any better about it."

"No, I wasn't thinking about her," Charlotte replied tiredly. She looked at her other self. "When does it get better? When does everything everywhere stop being some hopeless thing?"

Sunset frowned. "I was expecting you to try to pressure information out of me, maybe try to make me mad. That's what I would try, and you're me. Count me as surprised you did something else. I wish it was a pleasant one."

Heavyheart rubbed her hands together nervously as she looked at Charlotte. Sunset took notice.

"Wondering if you need to serve or not?" Sunset asked the hippo.

Heavyheart gulped. "I'm divided. Service is sustenance, sustenance I have been without for my whole life, but I don't want to be forced to serve because I need it. Such service is slavery."

Charlotte looked at Sunset and gestured at Heavyheart. "See? Nothing but misery! I'm so sick of misery!"

Sunset looked at Heavyheart and sighed. "You have served enough. I didn't intend to do this yet, but my younger half is correct. There needs to be some relief. Gather the intuits who want to change."

Heavyheart and Charlotte both gasped. Sunset said that she would need more time to figure out how to…Sunset had lied again. Why was Charlotte even shocked at this point? She probably knew how to do this when she had just studied Empathy.

"Now?! You're going to do this n-now? Is…is this real or some kind of trick?" Heavyheart asked in a quivering voice.

Sunset looked her in the eyes. "Gather the ones who want it. Do not try to pressure anyone else into joining you. If they don't want it, it won't work, and the spell will hurt them. This is about free will. You ask them once and no more. If they follow you but seem like they aren't committed to this path, you tell them not to come. I'm sure you don't want them hurt because they were uncertain that they wanted this. Do you understand me?"

Heavyheart nodded stiffly. "I understand. I will do so. We shall await you in the main cavern."

Charlotte watched Heavyheart hurry away and then glared at Sunset.

"Were you planning on holding that as some sort of leverage to get something from them?" she demanded. "Would you have kept holding it as leverage if I hadn't said something?"

"I got what I needed from them already, but I shall not tell you or anyone else what I got from them," Sunset replied. "I had planned on waiting. I believed transforming them was an unneeded distraction at this juncture, but I think I was wrong. We need a happy distraction, a little less nihilistic feeling for a while."

Sunset got closer and spoke in a low voice. "Which saddens me to have to advise you of the next thing."

Charlotte licked her lips. "What did you do?"

"Me?" Sunset asked mirthlessly. She shook her head. "I have done nothing. The truth is that this world can no longer sustain the complex ecosystems needed for a civilization to exist. It will take hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of years, for this planet to recover. However, some intuit can remain in their little Garden of Eden in the Forest of Feelings to wait out the eons until the world is again habitable if they are insistent on doing so. Those I change cannot stay. Those few places of refuge are designed for a population that never grows. You must get them off this world, or they will deplete everything that remains."

Charlotte furrowed her brow. "What about the humans?"

Sunset turned away and walked towards the main cavern.

"Sunset! What about the humans?" Charlotte repeated harshly, but the pony ignored her. Why did she bother asking? She knew Sunset thought the humans on this planet were a lost cause. The unicorn was ready to leave them for dead.

She followed Sunset into the main chamber and quickly lost sight of her because the section was packed to the gills with Autobots. Her other self was small enough to navigate under all of these bots, but Charlotte was too tall. The only thing she could see was Autobot ass, lots and lots of shiny Autobot ass. Luckily, she could still hear.

"Haven't we lost enough o our numbers without this?"

"This is our hope for the future. Do not try to stop us!"

Charlotte was reasonably sure it was Bright Heart who was objecting to what was happening. She'd heard the raccoon speak enough that she knew his voice. It wasn't surprising. He was the one who seemed most eager to reunite the intuits with the native humans, even knowing the challenges they would face. The question was, how many intuits were on each side of this argument?

The closest Autobot to her turned and looked at her. She thought she recognized him from the old cartoon but couldn't recall his name. He was the one that transformed into an ambulance in the cartoon, though she had no idea if that held true in this world.

"Want a better view?" the Autobot asked. "I can lift you on my shoulder so you can see."

Getting lifted on someone's shoulders like a small child? Sure, why not? Who needed dignity?

"Yeah, I'd appreciate it," Charlotte said with a nod. The red and white Aitoot reached down and picked her up. It didn't take much adjustment to get settled with an Autobot head between her legs.

Seven intuits, including Heavyheart, gathered in the center of the cavern. Sunset Blessing was just finishing making her way through the crowd. Blanche and Tempest, who were part of the crowd immediately surrounding the intuits, seem to have been arguing with each other up to that point, but Sunset's arrival turned Blanche's to her. Most of the rest of the immediate circle was more intuits who looked at their compatriots with a mix of sadness and fret. The Autobots made up all the rest of the crowd, and there had to have been at least two dozen of them. She couldn't see Rainbow or Starlight, but it was hard to see anything past the bots. Optimus Prime stood to the side with his arms crossed, and she got the impression he was doing his best to remain neutral in his argument.

"What are you thinking?!" Blanche demanded as Sunset cleared the Autobots. "We need every one of these intuits and more to help with the humans. This world is designed for this kind of bond."

"I think that they deserve self-determination, " Sunset answered calmly. "And their numbers were never high enough to handle all the humans. I suspect they were meant to help make the leaders more emotionally stable, and Dark Heart proves they were not effective enough at that."

"I don't disagree with you, Blessing, but do you even have the knowledge to do this without your library and workshop?" Tempest asked.

Sunset looked at her like she had just asked if Sunset knew how to breathe. "I spent the first several years of my pony life trying to find this spell. I studied it non-stop in my quest to create temporary transformation. Do you think that, at this point, I don't know it by heart?"

"So you intend to turn them into ponies, not humans?" Tempest asked.

Heavyheart answered for her. "I told her it would be better if we weren't human. Becoming human would make those who do not choose to change our slaves. We desire liberation, and that is not accomplished by enslaving others."

Empathy pushed through the crowds and held his hands out to Heavyheart. "But what about us? You are abandoning us. You're my intended. Our lines will die….I will be alone. We are supposed to be together."

Heavyheart gave him a sympathetic look. "As I told you before, that is another form of slavery. You did not choose me or I you. It was determined for us long before birth, back at the time of the firsts in our lines. This is not what love should be. Love should be a product of free will. It saddens me that you're choosing to stay an intuit because I would have liked the opportunity to explore a true relationship with you like humans do with each other, but it is clear this is not what you desire. It makes my heart heavy, but it shall not change my mind."

"We were made for an important purpose. Are you going to let that purpose go away?" Bright Heart demanded.

Heavyheart gave him a firm look. "I believe we were created with good intentions. Our creator gave us a wonderful place to live and a fulfilling mission. However, he is long dead, and those we were meant to serve may never rise again. Even if they do, we can still aid them if we are changed, if that is what we choose to do. They survived long before we came along, and they must learn to survive without us. Perhaps the Cloudkeeper would agree with what we do now. Perhaps he only made us the way we are because that was the best he could do, and he could not create something beyond golems. He was not a quintesson. He was a flawed imitator."

Wait? What was a quintesson? Empathy never spoke of anything called that. None of these Autobots or intuit had mentioned anything called that before, either. Bright Heart gasped and stepped back when she mentioned it. Even the Autobots looked uncomfortable about it.

"You should not mention the quintesson. You'll draw its attention," Bright Heart said.

"There is no need to fear it, my friend. It is not all-seeing or deliberately malicious. Its abilities should not be quoted as perfection either; even the quintesson is flawed," Optimus Prime said. "It failed to anticipate the flaw in the Deception programming…and now chooses to ignore it. It did not act or respond when Unicron malfunctioned. The quintesson is an amoral being that keeps its own council and purposes. Plus, even though it was created before the foundation of the universe, it is still a construct made in its creator's image. It is not its creator. There is nothing divine about it."

Blanche took a deep breath. "We need to discuss this quintesson creature after we're done here, but for right now, Sunset, you must desist. You can't play god with these creatures."

Sunset sighed and shook her head. "Those who are most lost try to declare the intentions of God most often."

Blanche stepped towards Sunset. "Why are you spouting off religious babble?"

The unicorn smiled. "No, not religious. The religious try to mandate God's will, for they least understand it. All you unfaithful wish to say this is not what it intended, that it is an abomination, that such and such goes against the grand plan– a plan dictated not by God but by those who try to speak for him. I may be upsetting someone's plan, but not God's."

"We will not spend time listening to you preach, Blessing! This is not happening," Blanche said with a stomp.

"With all due respect, Miss Laurent, you don't get to make that call," Sunset said with a smirk. She then looked at Optimus Prime. "Are the Autobots going to stand in the way of what these intuit wish?" She looked at Bright Heart. "Are you going to try to physically stop me if they don't listen to you?" She returned her gaze to Blanche. "And will you stop the natives from doing what they feel is best for themselves? Who are you to dictate their affairs? They asked me for help. I'm not imposing anything on them."

"We shall not interfere with intuit matters. We shall protect them and keep them safe, but we will not tell them what they can or cannot do unless it jeopardizes others," Optimus Prime announced. "I have seen no evidence that this will harm anyone."

"We know very little about it, only what these aliens have told us," Bright Heart countered. He then returned his attention to Heavyheart. "I propose a compromise. You, and only you, undergo this transformation. We can observe you over the next month, as can those currently interested in it. That way, they can make a more informed decision about what to do."

Heavyheart scowled and then looked at her compatriots. "That wouldn't be my choice. What do all of you say? Can you wait a month?"

Sunset raised a hoof. "I must interject that I'm uncertain if I will be available in a month. If you wait, you may stay waiting forever."

"Way to not pressure them," Charlotte muttered grumpily.

There was some quiet discussion among Heavyheart's followers. Charlotte was tempted to switch to being a pony so she could hear, but it was a fleeting idea.

The hippo looked back at the raccoon. "Two days. They shall observe me for two days."

"That is hardly enough time to formulate a-" Bright Heart started to counter.

"That might be the ideal amount of time," Sunset cut in. "I don't intend to stay down here longer than I have to. Caverns make me uneasy."

Tempest smirked. "It seems the preacher has another phobia other than spiders, and I'm not talking about her daughter."

Sunset scowled. "You know why I don't like them. I figured you wouldn't like caves much, either. There could always be bears in them, big ones."

Bright Heart gave them a confused look. "I assure you that there are no care bears down here."

"It isn't worth explaining," Sunset said. She shook her head and then jerked it before reaching with a hoof and rubbing her scarred area in her neck. "Damn wound. Anyway, let's get this over with. I didn't get that much sleep. Heavyheart, get over here."

Heavyheart was trembling as she stepped forward. "Is this going to hurt?"

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Is pain a deterrent from your path? That would show a lack of conviction."

"I just wanted to know what to expect. I can take the pain," Heavyheart quickly explained.

Empathy marched forward and practically butted his head against Sunset's. "You are not going to hurt Heavyheart!"

Sunset stepped back. "Interesting, there is someone you're more loyal to than my younger self. Perhaps your desire to serve also takes second fiddle. Relax; there may be some mild discomfort, but it will be brief. It should not progress into what would qualify as pain. I intend her no harm. Now, please, back up and give us both space."

Empathy reluctantly stepped back, and Heavyheart examined him as if unsure what she was looking at.

"He surprised you too. Interesting," Sunset said with a smirk. "I do need to let you know this can be reversed, but there is a time limit on that. If you receive your cutie mark, it can't be reversed. When and if you get your mark is something I can't give a timetable on. It's all about knowing what is most important to you. I got mine quickly, in less than two days, so there is a risk you won't be able to change your mind when the two days are up."

Heavyheart kept looking at Empathy without answering.

Sunset shook her head. "I recognize hesitation and doubt. I won't cast the spell on you. Your doubt interferes with the spell outcome, and I have no intention of doing you harm."

Heavyheart jerked her gaze away from Empathy and opened her mouth to object, but Sunset stuffed it with magic to silence her.

"Don't try to deny it," Sunset scolded. "We will revisit this after two days after you have considered things further." She looked at the other intuits in Heavyheart's group. "But I can take another volunteer. Anyone?"

Several intuit seemed ready to, but a mint-green sheep stepped forward first, and the rest immediately stepped back. "Um, me, please. If it isn't too much trouble." It said in what seemed barely above a whisper and could only be heard because everyone else had gone quiet.

"And you are?" Sunset asked.

"Gentle Heart, ma'am," the sheep replied, still in a quiet voice.

Sunset frowned. "I vaguely remember you from the cartoon. You didn't leave much of an impression. You don't sound very confident or eager."

Heavyheart stepped in front of Gentle Heart. "That's just the way she is! She is very quiet and shy, but you'll notice she is still the first to step forward. Just because she is nervous doesn't mean she isn't brave and confident. She's my friend, and if she stepped forward, she wants this."

Gentle Heart stepped around Heavyheart. "Please, Miss Sunset Blessing, my intended is dead. My line cannot continue as it stands. Heavyheart and I discussed continuing our lines together, but that was before Empathy was found alive. I was very happy for her when he returned, but now I have no one. It isn't about servitude for me. I'm still willing to serve, but I want to have a baby someday. I'm willing to change anything about myself to get that, including my species. I thought I was out of options and would never know motherhood, but then I learned of you and your magic. Please, there is no future for me without this. I'll continue to serve without getting anything in return, but I want a chance at a family."

"You know this does not guarantee you a mate, just the possibility of more options, correct?" Sunset asked. "I want there to be no confusion or false promises."

Gentle Heart nodded. "I understand. It is still more than I have now. Hope is worth it."

"Very well. I'm convinced you're a hundred percent committed, and that's what I needed," Sunset said. "I ask everyone else to stand back and give the sheep space. This will be a slower process than the temporary spell and take several minutes. You are all welcome to observe; I even invite you to so you know I am doing her no harm, but do not interfere or get too loud."

The rest of the intuits moved back among the crowd, leaving just Sunset and Gentle Heart standing in the center of the area with everyone watching them. Gentle Heart seemed to get more nervous as she looked around, but that could easily be chalked up to her being shy and not liking being the center of attention. Sunset was busy drawing several runes in the dirt, which was uncommon for her spellcasting. Charlotte had only seen her other self do this with extremely complex spells, and even that rarely, since Sunset typically would use her workshop to assist with those.

Sunset finished her drawing and scrutinized her work before making minor adjustments. She then looked at Gentle Heart.

"I will need to put you to sleep for this. Well…technically, in theory, I don't, but it is highly advisable that you are asleep. Actively experiencing your body reshaping yourself is uncomfortable and highly disturbing. I doubt you want to be mentally traumatized by the experience. You sleep and then wake up a pony."

Gentle Heart nodded. "Yes, that seems like a good idea. What kind of pony will I be? You and your friends all seem to have very different features."

Sunset shook her head. "I don't know. The spell takes what's in your head and picks out a tribe based on what it feels is most appropriate. There are so many factors involved, and I know so little about you, that I cannot reasonably predict what tribe you'll end up in. I have no bearing on what the outcome will be. Try as I might, I never could crack the spell coding for that, but the designer of this spell spent the better part of several decades working out its intricacies. I have spent a mere fraction of that time trying to determine how to adjust all factors and am unlikely to spend any more. Are you ready for me to put you to sleep?"

Gentle Heart nodded and shyly smiled. "Yes, ma'am, and thank you."

"We begin then," Sunset replied. She then lit her horn, and the sheep slowly settled to the ground and laid down her head.

The unicorn kept her horn lit, but the runes she had drawn on the ground now lit, and a circle of magic surrounded Gentle Heart before the sheep started glowing. Everyone watched in fascination. Even among the Earthlings, Sunset might have been the only one who had ever seen this spell in full effect. Blanche might have seen it in slow motion over the course of weeks, but not like this.

After five minutes of watching, Charlotte's head briefly dipped. This might have been the fast-forwarded version compared to the ETS of old, but it was still painful trying to watch gradual changes. At this point, Gentle Heart's tail had grown in size and hair from a small stubby green thing to a long creamy white thing. Her ears had adjusted shape and position slightly, and her hair had gone from what Charlotte would call a cute little green afro to a full mane in the same creamy white as the tail. As for bodily changes, it was harder to say. Her fur color hadn't changed from the mint green color other than the tail and mane. She might have grown in size slightly, maybe.

Then a tiny horn sprouted out of her mane and slowly grew as Charlotte tried to determine if the intuit's size had changed. Well, guess they now knew what tribe Gentle Heart was going to be. Charlotte yawned.

The Autobot she was perched on turned his head to look at her. "Getting tired? Would you like to get down? I don't want you falling asleep and falling off me. I know how to patch up a human, but I prefer not to have to."

She didn't have to think about it much. "Yeah, you may as well let me down. I was waiting to see what tribe she'd be, and now I've seen the horn. This seems like it will take a while, and I've seen plenty of mint-green unicorns before. I know Sunset won't mess this up."

"Alright, will do. Hold still; I'm going to lift you down," the Autobot replied. He reached for her with both hands, gently grabbed her arms, and hoisted her off his shoulders and softly down to the ground.

"Thanks, um, I don't know your name," she said with mild embarrassment.

"Ratchet," the Autobot replied. "If you have any medical or technology concerns, feel free to consult me. I will continue to observe this process, as it is a fascinating medical treatment."

"Have fun, Ratchet," she said and started walking away. She got about five steps before Rainbow and Starlight cut her off.

"Charlotte, is the quintesson important?" Rainbow asked hurriedly.

Charlotte blinked. "I don't know. It seems like something Sunset would be interested in. Blanche seems interested in it."

"I've seen it; Starlight and I both have," Rainbow said in a rush.

Huh? "Where did you see it? You've been with us the whole time."

Rainbow exchanged a look with Starlight, then hung her head as she turned back towards Charlotte.

"It had been guarding Spectra before Spectra was stolen."

What the hell? Why was their weird thing in Rainbow's universe? Charlotte barely recalled the name from Sunset going on about transformers, so it had to be a transformer of some type or at least related to them. What was it doing in a different universe than the transformers?

"We'll tell Blanche as soon as we can about this," Charlotte replied. She hoped this wasn't going to end up with her having to go back to that frozen place.