Chapters Trixie Lulamoon: Best Waifu Ever!
I lay there on my left side, holding the obstinate little blue unicorn close to my body. I could feel her warm fur and she seemed to like laying her head on my chest to hear my heartbeat. I could hear her purring as I thought about the events that led to this moment… How dare she try to love me and show me affection! The nerve! The out and out gall of this little horse! I think to myself while frowning and staring down at the pony. I give a reserved sigh before normalizing my mouth and holding her body close to mine.
I hear her whisper, “Shh! Trixie desires more sleep! Hold her close to you and we’ll snuggle some more!”
I roll my eyes and cautiously hold the horse closer to my body as her white hair goes into my face and I glare at her while thinking, This little blue butthole! Oh, she’s gonna pay! As I slowly and calmly smile to myself, and loving surrender overtakes my mind…
I suddenly hear the pony give out a passive sigh…
This causes me to grin wider as I think about how this is bullshit and I still don’t really want a waifu , but I somehow just can’t say no at this point… I suddenly widen my eyes when I contemplate on how long-winded that last thought was when the pony stirs in my arms, and I loosen my grip to let her little blue body wander before she stops, and I tighten again to secure her lovingly in place.
I look down to see my hands are now wrapped around her upper torso through the pits of her forelegs and I can’t help but notice her smile and sigh lovingly there.
She whispers, “I love you, Betty!”
I lowly say, “Jerk!”
“Idiot!” She quickly responds before smirking even wider and scooching closer to my cozy body.
I give the most silent sigh I can make before lovingly kissing her forehead through her wiry mane, to the left of her horn and holding her soft warm pony body to mine… I close my eyes and eventually drift back to sleep…
<*****>
I open my eyes as I wake up alone on my side, to see Trixie sitting there in my computer chair, eating microwave popcorn from a floating brown paper bag, encased in a blue glow, and watching My Little Pony on my laptop. I also notice a can of soda to the left of the laptop as she sits there, looking away from me and watching her and Starlight talking on the screen.
“Ugh! Uh, what time is it? How long was I out?” I say blearily as I rise on the bed to put my legs over the side and sit staring back at the scene.
Trixie giggles and looks at me over her right shoulder, “Oh, it’s almost eleven in the morning! Uh, I found your ponies!”
I narrow my eyes and say, “Yeah, considering it’s in the folder clearly marked ponies , that’s surely no easy feat!”
She snickers, “Yeah, well hey baby ! Wanna watch them with me?”
“Uh, I skipped breakfast and should probably eat a sandwich? Do you need anything?”
Trixie then levitates the half-eaten bag of cheddar popcorn to the left of her sitting on the chair so I can see it in clear view. “Well, I was okay while you were asleep? I got food from your snack stash, there’s soda you keep under your bed, and you have some dope left in your stashbox!”
I narrow my eyes, “No smoking without me!”
Trixie narrows her eyes, “Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetie !”
I frown, “You like pet names, don’t you?”
Trixie whimsically says, “Oh, but you know I wuv calling my sweetums cute and fun nicknames! And I know you like it too, right?”
I frown deeper, “I’m uh, actually not sure?”
She leans forward interestedly, “Well, that’s what a lot of your writing suggests?”
I look at the blue magician intently as she sits there at my computer chair, with my nightstand between us, “What do you want, again?”
Trixie perks up wide-eyed and smiles, “To be your waifu!”
“But I don’t want a waifu?”
Trixie lowers her gaze, “Why not?”
I lowly sigh out my nose before lowering my gaze, “Because I don’t want to pretend…”
Trixie frowns and widens her eyes, “What?”
I furrow my brows, “Look! I know things like love and togetherness aren’t really meant for me , and so I’d much rather just resign myself to a life of being alone, that to make believe , anyone, or anypony as the case may be, actually cares about me …”
Trixie frowns, “B-but I do care about you?”
“But you’re not real! I’m just talking to you in my head right now!”*
She smiles, “What if I'm as real as I need to be ?”
I raise my gaze, “W-what?”
She giggles softly, “Oh, but you said it yourself earlier, Betty! Sure, I’m not real or physical in the traditional sense. But I am a character and I represent an idea !”
I scrunch my mouth, “Just what idea would that be?”
She narrows her eyes, “Well, I’m the pony who left and came back to discover a better way ! Sound familiar?”
“Until 2018, I didn’t live in this town…”
Her voice raises slightly as her brow furrows angrily, “That’s not what I meant!”
My eyes widen, “Well, just what do you mean, Trixie?”
Trixie sighs and moves her head down before raising her gaze back up to me and calmly says, “Look around you, Betty… Look at this room you’ve made for yourself… You could’ve decorated it any way you saw fit, and yet, you chose to have eight different colorful posters of ponies on the walls… You have a small army of therapy ponies intended to make you feel better after well… After everything… You ever think maybe you’re going back to someplace you can’t really get to?” she lowers her gaze, “You think maybe after your brain injury, hormones, and many awful things that you’re trying to recapture a spark you lost long ago?” she smiles gently and warmly at me, “Trixie thinks it’s absolutely wonderful that you found ponies to do that for you…” Her mouth goes regular, “But I want to know… Why don’t you think love and happiness is meant for you?”
I raise my left eyebrow, “Happiness? You know, in my experience, love has never exactly brought happiness!” I regularize my eyebrows, “Always just more turmoil and strife!” I sigh, “I don’t want to do it anymore or ever again, Trixie… I don’t believe it’s worth it…”
Trixie widens her violet eyes while leaning closer to me off the side of my chair, “Well, why not?”
I snort and shake my head slightly, “No Trixie… You don’t wanna hear my whiny emo bullshit , okay?”
She blinks, “Actually, Trixie kinda does?”
I widen my eyes, “Okay, let me rephrase that another way then!” I point my right hand at her, “I don’t want to tell you my whiny emo bullshit !” I lower my hand and my gaze, “There! I think that gets the message across…”
Trixie smiles, “Then don’t!”
I frown and raise my left eyebrow again, “What?”
Trixie lowers her gaze as a glint suddenly shows in her purple eyes, “Do you know why Trixie often refers to herself in the third person?”
I blink and start, “Uh, no I don’t…”
Trixie smiles wider, “Because even The Great and Powerful Trixie gets nervous! And so, she always talks about herself like that so it’s not really her performing on stage… That’s The Great and Powerful Trixie! I’m only narrating ! See what I’m doing here, Betty?”
“I think so? Uh, just a sec! Let me get ready!” I say before taking a mighty swig of the black coffee from my nightstand and looking into the purple eyes of this curious pony, “I uh,” I blink, “Betty feels that after so many tries and so many catastrophic failures that love is simply not worth the effort … She would much rather spend the rest of her life alone than waste time pursuing something that’s never going to happen…” I sigh and glance off to the left before back at the blue pony, “After all the pain I’ve uh, Betty has been through, she doesn’t believe it’s worth it…”
Trixie frowns, “I don’t understand?”
I lean forward slightly, “What do you not get, Trixie?”
She raises her neck, “You write these wonderful romantic stories about lesbian ponies all the time, and yet, you… You don’t believe in love?”
“Well, I think that’s a tad extreme at this point, honestly? I think it’s better to say that love just isn’t really meant for me I guess?”
“Hey, weren’t you married for six years?”
I nod, “Yes! And well… I wasn’t what I was supposed to be and so, eventually, I had to go away… And while I don’t regret a minute of my marriage, I also understand that that’s not my life , as it were…”
She raises her left eyebrow, “And just what are you supposed to be , Betty?”
I chuckle lightly and smile, “You got me, Triscuit! I’m not male or female anymore!”
Trixie smiles, “Well, how about this then! Trixie will make a deal with you! Call it a wager if you like!”
I narrow my eyes to the pony, “And just why should I make any agreements with a fictional talking horse?”
Trixie giggles softly, “Oh, you don’t have to! But Trixie will tell you what it is, regardless!”
I blink and regularize my eyes, “Well, are you gonna tell me?”
She furrows her brow and frowns angrily, “Trixie is getting there!”
I smile.
She sighs, “Okay, why don’t you simply accept Trixie as your waifu for the time being unless you don’t need me anymore ?”
I normalize my mouth, “Didn’t I already say that I don’t want to pretend ?” I raise my left eyebrow again, “Was sure I did?”
She grins broadly while furrowing her brows deviously, “You can’t hold out forever!”
I smile back and widen my eyes, “Watch me!”
She leans towards me again and widens her eyes, “You need love!”
“NO, I DON’T!”
She frowns, “But Betty! I love you! Don’t you love me?”
I eye this pony carefully before letting out a long-resigned sigh… “I don’t want to, Trixie… It’s not for me… I’ve already decided…”
At this point, the pony stares at me as her big eyes start to quiver and fill with tears as her frowning mouth shakes, “B-but Betty! All I wanted to do was love you?”
At this point, all I can do is sit there at the edge of my bed and mutter, “GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!” under my breath, before rising to my feet on the hardwood floor and walking past the left of my round wooden nightstand to get right up to the blue pony, currently with shaky watery eyes and on the verge of tears, and grasp her from under her pits with my hands before lifting her 30-pound** body lovingly to my chest and snuggling the warm furry equine close to me as she solemnly moves her head to the right so her horn doesn’t poke my abdomen. Worries of her condition currently encircle my mind, as I lovingly hold this little blue unicorn to my chest… I give a final resigned sigh before whispering into her floppy pony ear, “Okay Trixie… Okay… I’ll try to love you… But uh, can we take this slow?”
The blue pony smiles widely while laying her head on my chest to listen to my heartbeat as her floppy right ear flaps against my chest as she says, “DEAL!”
I squint my eyes, “I still think you’re a butthole!”
“I still think you’re a dorky moron!”
“This isn’t over!”
“Not if I have anything to say about it, Betty…” She moves her head left and right as I feel her bony 4.5-inch horn poking me in the chest. She gives out a long-loving purr and says, “Not if I can help it…”
At this point, madness overtakes my fractured mind as I stare down at the blue magician and I remove her small body from my chest to hold her before me and I stare deep into her wide purple eyes…
She frowns deeply and nervously asks, “W-what are you doing, Betty?”
I narrow my eyes as I lowly and gruffly say, “I don’t know anymore!” before bringing her face closer to mine and lovingly nuzzling her as a small smirk comes over my mouth and all she can do is frown and blink… I gaze into her pupils for maybe another split-second before instinctively tilting my head right to give her a warm loving smooch on her pony lips…
(To be continued…)
Author's Note
*Pinkie and Izzy aren’t the only ones who can break the 4th wall in my stories…
**That’s about 13 kilos if you’re more familiar with the metric system.
Trixie Lulamoon: Best Waifu Ever!
I took a draw from the brown glass tip of the burning white king joint in my mouth before taking the stogie out with my right hand, between my index finger and thumb to lower it to my side and I exhale smoke to the right of the blue pony before staring down at the pony carefully and ask her, “Wait! So, what?”
Trixie sighs, “Your sun is going to explode tomorrow at about 12:17 PM your time…”
I raise my left eyebrow, “And how do you know this?”
Trixie frowns, “You know, we do a lot of celestial research at the School of Friendship, now!”
“What does that have to do with friendship?”
Trixie smiles, “Well, practically any team-building exercise can be good for the students, so uh, we tend to vary activities there, a lot!”
My joint is still burning, and I haven’t taken my traditional second drag yet, but I don’t care at this point as I eye Trixie carefully, “How do you know about me, anyway?” I sigh and decide to take my second drag while she answers as I bring the burning stoge to my mouth for a draw.
“Twilight Sparkle has the most advanced observatory in Equestria. It has a magical telescope that allows Trixie to scan the universe and she told Trixie about your world and so, Trixie started looking around with the viewfinder and uh, I found you here… Alone… By yourself…”
I exhale smoke and hold the joint up for Trixie to grasp with her magic.
Trixie frowns, “No sweetie! You want another drag for what I’m about to tell you…”
I widen my eyes as I bring the joint to my mouth for a third drag while Trixie continues…
“I want to bring you to Equestria with me…”
I exhale over the pony before looking down at her, “What? Why? I mean, I’m ready to die ! And since I have no reason not to, I’ll just smoke my stash while I wait for the impending doom ! And the best part is, I don’t even have to do the killing myself, this time!”
Trixie widens her violet eyes as she frowns, horrified, “W-what?”
“You heard me!” I proudly proclaim while holding the joint up for her to magically take from me…
Trixie sighs before narrowing her gaze at me and saying to herself, “Okay! Trixie clearly needs to do this another way!” before making her horn and the joint glow blue and it soon flies from my hand and into my ashtray on my right to be snuffed out as it vertically flies there, end first.
“Uh, what are you doing?”
Trixie smiles, “Loving you!”
I suddenly feel a sharp impact hit the back of my head, followed by a sudden pain, and the world fades to black…
<*****>
I open my eyes on a bed as I almost instantly think, Oddly enough, not the first-time ponies have saved my life! before moving my arms to my chest… Except they’re no longer move the way they should… I look down and see a light purple pair of hooves! I immediately scream, “AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!”
Trixie snickers from the wooden floor on my right as she looks up and her white mane falls to the sides and I lean over to look at her. She smiles and says, “Oh uh, you’re a purple unicorn now!”
I widen my hazel eyes to the other unicorn, “What? Why?”
Trixie frowns, “Well uh, I guess when I brought you to Equestria, it changed you!”
I frown deeply, “What? Why didn’t you change into a human when you came to my world?”
Trixie raises her left eyebrow, “Probably because your world doesn’t really have the magic we have here?”
I close my eyes and think, I was about to die! It was finally gonna be over! Before opening them to stare back down at Trixie from the blue sheets on the bed where I’m lying, “Uh, won’t Starlight get jealous, or?”
Trixie grins, “Oh, me and Starlight aren’t together anymore!” she frowns, “Yeah, she got so caught up in her work earlier… Now she’s into the Ponyville lesbian black metal scene…”
“Pony lesbian uh,” I decide I don’t want to know, “uh, so where am I?”
“I’m giving you your own room in my cottage!”
“Wait! So, you’re just gonna let me live here?”
She smiles and nods, “Yup! And you’re my personal snuggle slave until you get a job in town!”
I give a horrified grimace, “Snuggle, what?”
She giggles again, “Oh, don’t worry, baby! You’ll love it!”
I frown deeply as I lift my head from the bed and my new silvery mane falls to my shoulders… Then, I slowly and cautiously get out of bed, as I’m still not used to this body. I stand there on my hooves with the bed to my right and I carefully turn my body left to face Trixie, only to misstep and fall to my face, where I almost broke my brand-new snout!
Trixie frowns, “Yeah, ponies work a bit differently than humans! Allow Trixie to assist you!” before widening her eyes and forcing her horn to glow blue and I rise back to my hooves on the floor while encased in a similar glow. She smiles, “There! Now we can practice your walking!”
I carefully rotate my body to hers and slowly take the first tentative step forward with my right forehoof, and then, work and focus as I bring my left hind leg further towards the other pony. I then work my left forehoof forward and then bring my right hind leg closer to her.
She smiles and says, “Very good Betty! You got it!”
I nervously look down with wide hazel eyes as my shimmery new silver mane falls to the front of my shoulders and I take the next timid step with my left forehoof before bringing my right hind leg forward and then, repeating the same process on the other side…
Trixie nods, “Good! Betty is getting the hang of this! Just uh, keep practicing and I’ll go set up the vase bong at the table!” she smiles, “And don’t worry, Betty! Trixie brought all of your stoner gear and plushie friends with us, so you won’t be lonely or bored! Your laptop has to stay as we don’t really have that sort of thing here!”
I continue practicing, walking, and moving with my new pony body as I suddenly start to think about my new horn. I gaze up at it, sitting there on my forehead and can’t help but think that surely, I must have magic?
Trixie soon opens the door opposite to the bed in the room again to reveal me there, in my new purple pony form, laying on my left side on the floor.
I look up at her to the right as the door swings to my left, “Uh, this is exhausting! How do you ponies walk like this all day?”
She smiles, “You need more practice baby! Anyway, Trixie has set up her bong in the kitchen now! You’ll need to walk to it in order to smoke with her!”
My eyes go skyward, “Oh geez!”
She giggles, “Hey! I know what you like and so now, I’m encouraging you with the right rewards !”
“Ugh!” I lower my gaze to the unicorn before slowly planting my right forehoof onto the ground as an anchor and then, using the strength in the leg to lift myself up and soon, put my other hooves on the ground as they make low clacks onto the floor, my left forehoof first, followed by my two hind legs, right as an anchor and then left. I start to wobble slightly on my legs, before regaining my balance and staring up at Trixie, still slightly to my right, “Uh, okay! I have successfully raised my body to my hooves now! Go me!”
Trixie smiles and giggles, “You’re really cute, you know that?”
I widen my eyes, “Am not!”
Trixie lowers her gaze as she continues to snicker, “Are too!”
“Take it back!”
“Make me!”
I narrow my eyes, “You want me to walk er, trot over to you now, don’t you?”
Trixie sighs, “Well, Trixie would very much like to smoke now, but she also understands that it’s important that Betty get some more practice on her brand-new hooves!”
“Ugh!” I give out a low exasperated sigh before working my body to move towards the blue pony, currently standing in the doorway…
<*****>
“Okay!” Trixie proclaims as she stares at me with her clear vase bong on the table, “You know all that needs to happen for you to take a successful bong rip! You need to mentally do those things instead of using your hands! Since you know, you don’t have those anymore! This strain is called Everfree Green, and it’s got a peppy happy buzz to it!”
I widen my eyes while staring at the bong on the plain square wooden table… The chamber section is about 4.5 inches tall and 3.5 inches wide with a 3-inch-long and 1.5-inch-wide stalk coming out the top. I sigh and say to myself lowly, “Okay! Mentally gonna use my magic, now!” and then, focusing on the small green disposable lighter to the right of the bong…
It begins to glow deep purple, before the glimmer begins to fade and I frown with determination and scrunch my eyebrows as I really focus on this lighter! The lighter soon levitates up while encased in the same dark violet glow while Trixie stares on and begins to smile from her chair at my left…
She widens her purple eyes, “Yes! That’s it Betty! Get it to the bong, now!”
I put my face down on the mouthpiece, while the bong continues to sit on the table. I immediately think that maybe I should be lifting it with my new magic? Then, I think that multiple levitations are probably better left for another time as I furrow my brow and glance to the right to force the lighter to float and turn at a downward angle towards the bowl, freshly packed with the delicious looking light green herb.
Trixie nods, “Okay now, Betty! Focus on the strike wheel and the gas button to ignite the lighter and then inhale to get your reward!”
I focus really hard and soon, get the strike wheel to spin and hit the flint as I simultaneously hold down on the gas button and the lighter sparks with a flame, now over the bowl! I put my face down onto the mouthpiece with my new pony lips going about half an inch inside to inhale and bring the flame down into a bowl of herb, causing it to ignite with a small glare and smoke begins to rise out of it. This causes smoke to go into the bong chamber… I release my magic on the lighter, causing it to fall to the table with a small cling , and I begin to turn my focus on the small glass bowl inside the stem of the bong and it soon begins to glow in the same purple color, before raising out of the stem and smoke soon travels up the stalk of the bong to the mouthpiece with my awaiting lips… I take it all in and give a wide-eyed start as I realize this is a bit harsher than I was expecting and then, I lift my head and neck to begin slowly exhaling a big cloud of smoke over the table…
Trixie continues to smile as she says, “There! Now you can smoke dope with your magic!”
I glance over at her, “I learned pretty fast!”
Trixie smiles wider and lower her gaze somewhat, “It’s called motivation, sweetie!”
I chuckle, “Yeah, I shouldn’t lie… I do like to smoke weed!” I sigh, “Well, unlike the booze from earlier, this at least does me and my depressed autistic mind some good?”
Trixie nods, “Yeah, I’ve read your writing and I know to keep you away from booze!”
“Well, they taught me earlier that if I truly want to drink, I will and that nobody can actually stop me? ”
Trixie widens her eyes, “And hopefully, we’ll never have to put that to the test!”
I expand my own eyes, “You’d keep me prisoner here, just to keep me from drinking again?”
Trixie smiles and nods, “If necessary… But hopefully, it won’t come to that!”
I begin to frown at this strange blue unicorn with her white mane sitting next to me, “You care about me?”
Trixie frowns as she leans towards me, “Hasn’t Trixie been telling you this for a couple of days now?”
I raise my left eyebrow, “Probably?”
“Probably nothing!” She loudly says, “Well, you’re probably the most stubborn pony in Equestria , right now, anyway!”
I open my eyes wide to yell back, “And you’re definitely annoying!”
“Oh yeah, well you have pretty eyes!”
“And you have gorgeous hair!”
Trixie smiles and chuckles, “Okay, that’s enough banter! Take your second drag now! Trixie also wants to smoke!”
<*****>
I lean back on the couch as my new silver mane falls to my shoulders and the drugs begin to take hold on my body and mind. “Uh, I’m pretty sure I’m not used to that strain before… I know I’ve smoked stuff like that before, though! It’s actually a lot like the Sour Diesel we were smoking at my place earlier! Uh, you’re sure my sun will explode?
Trixie sits at the brown chair on the other side of the room and stares back at me over her polished wooden coffee table, “Well, Twilight is seldom wrong with her calculations! I’m uh, pretty sure! Yeah!”
I frown, “And we can’t really go back to check, now, can we?”
Trixie shakes her head, “Out of the question, Betty! You’re mine now, and that’s all there is to it! Trixie won’t allow something bad to happen to you!”
I lower my gaze and grin as I snicker slightly, “So, The Great and Powerful Trixie can only get a lover if she kidnaps them?”
She frowns, “I wouldn’t exactly say I kidnapped you?”
I widen my eyes, “You hit me over the head and knocked me out! It doesn’t sting now, though? I guess what happens to one body doesn’t affect the other?” I lean forward slightly, “Uh, what did you use, anyway?”
Trixie nods, “The small baseball bat I had in my cape for emergencies .” She leans forward with wide concerned eyes, “You were gonna die! I had no choice!”
“And?”
She frowns, “And? T-Trixie doesn’t want you to die!”
I lower my gaze at this strange unicorn and sigh, “Yeah, because you care about me!”
A cold silence suddenly overtakes us two ponies as we both stare at each other wordlessly…
I finally stammer out, “Uh, Trixie?”
She perks up and looks at me attentively, “Yes, Betty?”
I gulp before stuttering, “Uh, will you sit over here, with me, uh, please? I think I need somepony now…” I blink, “I mean, my whole world is literally about to be destroyed!”
Trixie nods, “Trixie understands!” before getting to her hooves in front of the brown cloth chair to begin trotting towards me and circling her coffee table on my right before propping herself on her haunches on the couch to my left… She looks at me and says, “So uh, do you need snuggles or?”
I stare deep into the wide-open sensitive purple eyes of this caring blue unicorn before smiling dimly and softly whispering, “It’s okay Trixie! I’ve rebuilt before! And at least I’m not alone this time!” before leaning towards her for a quick nuzzle as I smile at my blue savior .
Trixie smiles back at me, “You seem to be taking this well?”
My eyes widen, “Well, so far, so good! Uh, do me a favor and just be there for me, when and if all of this finally hits, okay?”
She smiles wider, “Of course, sweetie! That’s what I’m here for!”
I frown, “So uh, that’s it then? You love me and you’ll be there for me?”
She nods, “Of course!”
I raise my right eyebrow, “You know, I’m really not used to that!”
“Well get used to it, baby! You’re with Trixie, now!” before smiling slightly and nuzzling me as her eyes close halfway…
I blurt out, “Bestiality!” again!
She giggles while opening her eyes and withdrawing her head 2 inches, “Technically, it wouldn’t be, at this point! We’re both unicorns, now!”
I frown, “Why does this disappoint me?”
She giggles more before gently nuzzling me again, “I’m not sure either, you sick weirdo!”
I widen my eyes when another thought occurs to my cannabinoid filled brain, “We’re gonna have sex later, aren’t we?”
Her eyes then narrow with a confident glint as she beams her lips again and calmly says, “Not until you’re ready, dear lover ! I was strapped for time earlier, but now, we can go as slow as you need to…”
“Uh, right! Going slow!” I say before nodding, “Uh, I’m about to lovingly kiss you and get into your hooves for stoned snuggle time now, aren’t I?”
She widens her eyes again as she says dramatically, as if she were a narrator, “I don’t know! Does Betty have the guts, the sheer audacity to actually love the Great and Powerful Trixie ?”
I nuzzle her gently once more before placing a loving passionate kiss on her pony lips and then, withdrawing my head a few inches to say, “Butthole! How dare you save my life!”
She whispers back, “Oh, I’m gonna do a lot more than just save it!”
I smile back and say, “Oh? What are you gonna do?”
“Betty, will just need to wait and see now, won’t she?”
I eye this audacious blue unicorn, “I’m not scared!”
“Oh, you’re gonna be!”
“Oh, yeah?” I say as I open my eyes wide.
Trixie tries in vain to suppress a few giggles before saying, “Shut up, and hold me!”
I bring both of my forehooves around this pony to embrace her in a warm affectionate snuggle… Somehow, the world just seems right, right now… My world is about to be demolished, and yet, I’m sitting here, holding this other pony, who soon lovingly wraps her own forehooves around me… And I’m somehow okay with all of this… For this moment… Just this moment…
(To be continued…)
Trixie Lulamoon: Best Waifu Ever!
As I lay on my back on the floor, I can’t help but shudder and say, “Trixie! I’ve been practicing all morning now! Trotting around with these four ridiculously complicated legs is hard enough! Can we please just stop?” as the word morning circled my head, searching for something to connect with…
Trixie says as she stands to my right on the wooden floor, “One more time, Betty! I know you can do this!”
I groan and stare up at the two 1.5-inch-wide white balls hanging from small ropes above me, one next to the other, left to right and I’m guessing 4-inches apart.
The unicorn says, “Betty, you have a brilliant mind and I know you can focus on more than one thing at a time quite easily. All you need to do now is the same thing, only with magic !”
I eye the balls very carefully and briefly wonder what they’re made from before concentrating on them as endpoints , and then focus on where I want them to swing as my secondary endpoints and scrunching my brow in concentration as I say lowly, “We’d better burn a king joint after this!” and then I release my magic to let it flow and cause the balls to swing in the direction I mentally specified… Only this time, they’re actually doing it!
The other unicorn looks up towards the ceiling to see this and frowns as she says, “That’s unusual, Betty! You seem to have good focus when it comes to targeted magic, but raw brute force style spells seem to be more difficult for you!”
I release the balls and wipe a small amount of sweat from my brow with my right hand er, forehoof and say to the unicorn lowly, “How can you tell? We did both things a million times!”
She lowers her gaze to me laying on my back on the floor, “Well, when I told you to just move the balls , it took you maybe ten or twelve tries just to make a small amount of progress! And yet, now that I started teaching you about endpoints, that works fine in just two shots!”
I sigh and say, “Huh? You don’t say? Well, maybe I just work better when I have a clearer objective? You gotta admit, telling me to just move the balls , doesn’t really specify much!” I widen my eyes, “Maybe if I tried to force them to go a certain direction ? Uh, what do you think, Trix?”
Trixie nods, “Trixie believes it’s worth a shot! Try towards the wall nearer to your hind end!”
I nod while lying on the floor, “Right!” and then, mentally focus on the balls, but now using the wall nearer my flanks as an endpoint and then, releasing the magic… This causes both balls to fly towards the other wall very rapidly and makes the white cords holding them in place snap and they careen into the wall and shatter into many plastic pieces! My eyes are wide as all I can do is stammer out, “Those are ping pong balls, aren’t they?”
Trixie stares back at the far wall with wide violet eyes as she states, “Well, they were at one point! Uh, what did you do differently, this time?”
I nod my head and gulp, “Well, since you taught me about endpoints and magic, I simply used an endpoint in the desired direction and then, released a lot of force!”
Trixie frowns, “Uh, maybe not so much force next time, though? I don’t think you need that much?”
I chuckle, “Uh, right! Hey! Wanna have breakfast now, before wake n bake?”
Trixie turns her head back to me, “Sounds like a good idea! Uh, do you need me to feed you again, Little Princess?”
I frown as she mentions my new nickname again and say lowly, “Um, yes please…”
She takes a pace towards me and leans down to kiss me on the right cheek before keeping her head down as she says, “It’s okay, baby! I don’t mind taking care of you as you learn!”
I sigh and say, “You know Trixie, since you’re uh," I blink, "apparently my mate or lover right now, or whatever, I have to be honest with you, right?”
Trixie frowns, “Well, it would be nice!”
I nod, “Uh, right! Well, I kinda uh, “I blink, “I don’t really mind you taking care of me so much right now? It-it kinda makes me feel loved , you know?” I widen my eyes, “I mean, I’m usually on my own!”
“Really? Because all you’ve done for the past two days is bitch! Oh, walking is hard now! Magic is tough! I can’t get the hang of this, Trixie! I mean, you’re actually learning a lot faster than I thought you would and you’re doing great!”
I frown at the ceiling, “Hey! Bitching is my American right!”
“Equestrian right, now, Betty!”
I nod, “Whatever! If I can’t bitch, then it stays in my noggin and believe me! Nobody…”
“Nopony!” she corrects again.
I frown in irritation as I groan as I continue, “Nopony wants that!”
She smiles sardonically in my direction before saying, “I’m sure! Anyway baby, I’ll go make us some carrots and celery with ranch dressing for breakfast! Just make your way to the kitchen, whenever you’re ready!” before leaning down to kiss my cheek and then raising her neck and turning her body slightly right to begin trotting towards the door, opening it with a blue glow of her horn and the knob, and forcing it to swing open to the inner left and she trots out into the hallway and down it to the left, towards the kitchen…
I frown and say lowly to myself, “Too bad she can’t just carry me with her magic like we do with feeding!”
<*****>
I trot towards the near kitchen chair while Trixie sits on the other side of the table and patiently waits for me with a smile on her face as I lowly repeat to myself, “I hate hooves! I hate hooves! I hate hooves!” and I timidly make my way towards the other chair and eventually, just to the right of it, before turning my head left to face it and then scrunching my brow while causing my new 5-inch purple horn to glow pale green and the chair soon glows as well and automatically scoots back for me! I look over at Trixie, “I think I’m getting the hang of this now that I’m using endpoints like you taught me? Also, I’m apparently kinda strong!”
Trixie says, “I think that’s a sign, Betty?”
I adjust my gaze to the other unicorn, “What?”
Trixie raises her gaze at me while frowning and sitting at her chair, “I think your mind works best when it has a clearly defined purpose ? This is probably how you should think from here on out?” she lowers her gaze, “Just clearly define your endpoint and then, make actions to reach it! Ponies before the cart, you know?”
I widen my eyes before nodding, “Uh, right! That makes sense!” I then adjust my body towards the chair and take another pace towards it before carefully planting my haunches down in the seat and I sit there, staring at my blue companion horse. I finally look down at the white plate already sitting there, with diced carrots on the left and sliced celery on the right and a puddle of ranch dipping sauce in the middle. I glance up at her, “I can’t have meat anymore, can I?”
Trixie sighs, “Uh, probably not, no? Between the fact that I don’t think your new equine body can digest it and the fact that cows are sentient here, I really don’t think it’s such a good idea!”
I frown, “Okay! I’m a vegetarian now! As a human, I was omnivorous!”
She smiles up at me, “I know, Betty! Now open the stable doors! Time for the ponies to fly back in!”
I narrow my eyes and obediently open my snout.
She smiles as she says, “It’s kinda like having a pet that I can talk to and that constantly complains!” before forcing a carrot stick to fly into the ranch for dipping and into my awaiting mouth.
I bite down and start chewing while eyeing this other pony who grins at me…
She says, “Honestly, Trixie thinks it’s kinda cute!”
I look down at her, “Please just feed me, okay?” before opening my mouth again…
She dips celery in the dressing before floating it over into my mouth as she grins, “What’s the matter? Betty doesn’t like being called cute?”
I chew the celery rapidly and quickly swallow, “I’m not cute! You’re cute!”
She snickers, “Yyyyyeah, you and Trixie are totally gonna have sex later!”
I widen my hazel eyes, “What?”
“What?”
I narrow my eyes, “Trixie, you are having way too much fun over there!”
The blue magician giggles as another carrot loads with dressing and flies towards my mouth, that I quickly open to bite down to begin devouring the morsel. She stares at me while I’m eating, “Oh, baby! Trixie is just having fun!”
I swallow and say, “Uh, yeah, that’s okay, I uh…” I shudder, “Why me though?”
Trixie raises her gaze, “What?”
I sigh, “Well, you know my star is about to explode or whatever, but why did you choose me to save?”
“Because Betty, Trixie wanted to help you!”
“What makes you believe that I need help?”
Trixie sighs, “Okay! Okay! Trixie might as well just admit it!” she blinks and smiles at me, “Trixie, I liked watching your adventures and keeping tabs on you… And when” she blinks, “Trixie learned your sun was about to blow up, I kinda uh, well…” she scratches her back of her neck with her right forehoof, “I didn’t want to lose you…” she lowers her hoof, “I guess what Trixie is really saying is, is that you’re important to her… I was only watching earlier, but now you’re here, because you have to be … There’s no other way for you to live…”
I can only stare at this blue magician pony blankly…
She widens her eyes, “Uh, Betty?”
I blink before saying lowly, “Uh, please hug me… And then uh, I think I’d like to smoke?”
She smiles dimly as she nods and gets off the chair to her left to trot around the polished wooden square table to my right before lifting her right foreleg to go around me in a compassionate embrace… She whispers in my ear, “It’ll be okay, in the end… Trixie promises…”
I can only stammer out, “I uh, I sure hope so Trixie…” I breathe heavily in and out through my mouth, before finally just admitting what had been going through my head all morning, despite the failures and mishaps, “I love you, Trixie!”
Trixie disengages from me to stare back at me, with her nose a mere 2 inches from my own as her sweet purple eyes stare deep into mine, “Now, Trixie was saving some heavy-duty shit for a special occasion…” she lowers her gaze slightly and frowns, “But since your world is about to be destroyed, I believe it’s justified…” she widens her eyes, “Wanna get really high with Trixie, now?”
<*****>
As I desperately maintain my focus on the half-smoked king cone before me, my eyes are wobbly and out of focus as I see it glowing inside my new violet magic… I say to my new love, “You know, this is some bomb ass herb! Uh, what was this again?”
Trixie smiles from her haunches, on the dark reddish-purple pillow on the other side of her room floor, “It’s called Cloudsdayle Hydro! You see, in the airborne city of Cloudsdayle, they don’t have a lot of room to grow devil weed and so, they usually grow it hydroponically! This makes the THC inside ultra-concentrated!”
As I regained my focus on the glowing joint, I say to the other pony, “Yes, oh Twilight of buds !”
Trixie narrows her eyes to me and says, “Twilight of? Uh, shut up and take your hits, Betty!”
I briefly reconsider everything I’ve ever done in life as the joint floats into my stoned and trembling lips and I lock down onto the paper tip and begin to inhale, causing the front of the cone to glow red…
Trixie smiles at me and says, “I know your world is about to be destroyed, Betty… But some things shouldn’t die…”
I float the joint end-first into the glass ashtray at my right as I sit on my haunches on the reddish-violet pillow, like the one Trixie now rests on and exhale a big cloud of smoke before saying, “You act like you care about me?”
She leans forward to get her forehooves to the floor and raises her hind flanks to get to all fours on the floor and trots towards me with a sympathetic look in her violet eyes and as she approaches me, I notice the almost starry radiance in her shimmering white mane as it dances on her head in the sunlight from her windows… She gets close to me and moves her nose to nuzzle mine and smiles as she whispers, “It’ll be okay!” and then, tenderly kisses my lips softly as an explosion occurs inside my head and I widen my eyes at this… This other pony… She soon unlocks her lips from mine and continues to grin as she lowers her face down my furry new purple equine body to my lower areas when she abruptly stops… She says lowly, “Uh, Betty?”
I widen my eyes inside my own stoned haze as I reply, “Uh, yes Trixie?”
“You uh…” She shakes her head, “It’s probably better if I just show you ?” before moving her face into my crotch to lick me…
Only this isn’t like any other time I’ve ever been licked… I widen my eyes and say, “Trixie! Uh, do I have a vagina now?”
Trixie giggles, “Yup!”
“Uh, Trixie… Why do I have a vagina now?”
She frowns, “Uh, it’s probably because of how your transgender mind is wired and how that interacted with the magic that transformed you? And because of this, you’re an actual mare here and not a stallion or trans-mare or, whatever!”
At that point, my stoned mind could only conjure up two words, FUCK IT as I timidly say back to Trixie, “Do I still get oral sex?”
Trixie can only snicker before lowering her head back to my haunches…
<*****>
After about three hours of the weirdest sex I’ve ever had , I’m lying on my back with the pillow on the back of my head while staring up at the ceiling and this insane blue unicorn with her head nuzzled on my chest… Finally, the word morning connects in my mind as I say to her, “I don’t need hormones anymore, do I?”
“Trixie guesses not?” The other pony mutters as she rests her head on me…
I lower my gaze at my left and stare at the clock on the wall… It says 1:37… I say to Trixie, “My star has already exploded… The earth should’ve been demolished by now…”
Trixie can only say, “Is there anything you need to say or talk about?”
I can only mumble, “Everything seems so surreal right now? My world is destroyed, and I know this… There’s still at least a little bit of what we smoked , making me feel cloudy in my mind and I know this as well… But mostly it’s you , Trixie! You just, being there for me … Somehow, this all seems okay , and yet, for the life of me, I have no idea why?”
The other pony murmurs, “You think maybe it’s because you’re where you need to be , right now?” she smiles giddily, “With me?”
I can only sigh deeply and say, “You are such a butthole, you know that?”
The other mare giggles as we continue to snuggle and love one another…
I mutter under my breath, “Little blue butthole…”
(To be continued…)
Trixie Lulamoon: Best Waifu Ever!
Chapter 5: As You Like It
I stand on the wooden floor on my pony hooves as my silvery pony mane falls around my shoulders and I start to flex my new pony ears when I realize that I can move them, before sighing to myself… Trixie needed to leave the house for dinner, and I was left alone to my own devices… I stared at my 2-inch chrome weed grinder and leather case where I keep my pipes and papers on the nightstand to my right before sighing again and wondering if I should take another hit of my bullet pipe first? I shake my pony head and decide against another quick hit as I stare forward once more… I take a long breath in through my pony snout and feel the wind travel through my pony body…
Calm yourself! I think before staring down at my hooves as I really look it… I scrunch my brow and focus my magic once more…
This time, I use my hooves as the focal point of my magic before concentrating on raising my body off the ground! Starlight Glimmer can do it! I think to myself. Why not me too?
My horn shines with energy and my hooves begin to glow with the light purple magic I pour into them and suddenly, my body lifts maybe 2 inches off the floor! I immediately panic and say out loud, “Whoa!” before my magic suddenly fails and my hooves come crashing down to the floor again with a resounding clack , and my body lowers slightly with the impact before I lift myself up with my legs again…
Suddenly, the doorknob of the door on my left glows before the rest of the door opens to reveal a blue unicorn mare with a long stringy white mane and tail as Trixie looks at me with large curious purple eyes and asks, “I just heard your body hit the floor! What are you doing in here Betty?”
I turn my head left to face her and say bluntly, “I’m trying to levitate my own body!”
She frowns and widens her eyes, “Betty, that’s advanced stuff! Don’t you think we should cover the basics, first?”
I sneer back at her confidently, “Well, maybe ordinary unicorns , yeah! But I’m me!”
She lowers her gaze and normalizes her mouth, “So, Betty! Do you really want a challenge to do with your magic?”
I sigh and nod, “Well, yes! My world was just destroyed and I’m trying to distract myself!”
She stares at me blankly before taking the needed 4 paces to reach my body and she suddenly hugs me tightly from the left in her forehooves while saying, “I’m so sorry, Betty!”
I can only stammer out, “W-what?”
She releases me and goes back to her hooves before me and stares at me with wide sympathetic violet eyes, “Well, your whole world was destroyed! Don’t you think you need to do some therapy exercises to address that?”*
I blink and shake my head slightly before saying back at the other pony, “I uh, think I’m getting better, actually?”
She frowns, “Your planet was literally just wiped out, Betty!”
I widen my pony eyes, “Uh, yes! That is true! And that’s why you Shanghaied me and took me to Equestria!”
She widens her eyes, “You were gonna die!”
“I already told you Trixie, my life means nothing!”
She stares at me blankly for a moment before hugging me tightly again!
This time, I let out a squeak, “EEP!” before tentatively returning the hug with my own forehooves.
She disengages once again, drops to her hooves before I turn my body left to face her as she looks at me with wide-open eyes again, “Does your own life mean anything to you?”
I frown my pony mouth at her, “I don’t know? Should it?” I widen my pony eyes and add, “I mean, I did try to end it a few times, you know!”
She stares back at me, and I gaze deep into her purple eyes while she mouths out the words, “Please Betty, don’t ever try to do that again!”
I gaze back at this peculiar azure magician before finally saying, “You care about me, don’t you?”
She frowns and raises her neck, “Well, Trixie did rescue you from your world that was about to be destroyed, despite the fact that you didn’t want to go… And Trixie is letting you stay here with her…”
I stare back blankly and nod, “Yes! You care about me!”
She widens her eyes while saying sarcastically, “No! You don’t say?”
I snicker, “Alright Trixie! Alright, you win…” I breathe in and out through my mouth and look back at her, “Since my life is apparently so important to you, I guess I won’t ever consider ending it again… Even though, technically, my last suicide attempt was about seven years ago…”
Trixie nods as well, “Thank you Betty! That’s all Trixie asks!” before leaning her head closer to me and nuzzling me gently before a soft kiss, “I just put the pizza in the oven and we’re probably looking at another seventy-five minutes or so…” she raises her right eyebrow, “Wanna smoke with Trixie?”
At that point, even though I still felt some of the cannabinoids in my body from what I had puffed earlier, I had that same thought again, fuck it! Before lifting my gaze to the other pony, “Well, I still can’t roll with my magic… Uh, you got this?”
She grins, “Of course!”
<*****>
Later, the remains of the king joint are smoldering in Trixie’s glass ashtray on the floor to my right as I sit on my haunches with my two forelegs vertical and holding my purple pony body as I stare at this strange blue unicorn with wide hazel eyes and say, “I’m a pony!”
She stares back at me, obviously trying not to snicker, “Yes Betty! You certainly are!”
I blink before repeating myself, “I’m a pony!”
She smiles and giggles, “He he! Yes, you are, Betty! You’re a cute green unicorn now!”
I grimace playfully, “I’m not cute! Ur mom is cute!”
She continues chuckling at me.
I finally sigh and just add nonchalantly, “I’m still kinda mad at you for saving my life!”
She continues smiling while eyeballing me carefully and replying, “Ah! That awkward moment when you care more about your marefriend than she does!”
I widen my eyes as she simply snickers.
She sighs as she stops chuckling, “Betty… I care about you! If you don’t wanna live for you right now, just live for me , okay?”
I frown and give a resigned sigh, “Well uh…” I blink as my stoned mind works to process all the things this blue horse just said to me, “Okay Trixie…” I smile at her, “I care about you too, and I’ll keep living, just for you… If that’s what you really want…”
She raises her gaze, “And you’re not mad about that, Betty?”
I blink again and frown, “What? No! Why would I be mad? I mean, you made a request and I complied, right?”
She smiles, “Good Betty! Now cum on, snuggle slave ! I need to teach you some things about me…”
I can only stare at this other pony wide-eyed before gulping and then, getting off my haunches to my hooves on the floor to trot over to this other unicorn and comply…
And so uh, that was the second time I had freaky lesbian pony sex in my lifetime…
<****>
And so, we both lay on the hard wooden floor after what we just did and there’s still all sorts of love juices on my pony chin as I say to the other mare, “Uh, I really need a shower!”
She looks up at me from prone on all fours, closer to the bed from me and slightly to her left, “Uh, I’ll grab the sponge and clean you up then, baby!”
I narrow my eyes at her, “It’s almost like you like taking care of me?”
She smiles back and leans forward to nuzzle me affectionately, “And what if I do?”
I frown, “I’m not used to that!”
She sighs, “Yes, Betty! I know! But you’re here now with me, the mare who loves you !”
I widen my eyes, “Yup! The crazy little blue horse, who loves me!”
She grins and snickers, “We just call them ponies here, Betty!” she shakes her head and continues, “Now get up, darling! We gotta go to the tub now so I can clean you! Also, I need to teach you how to clean that too!”
I gulp, “Do we have to?”
She nods, “Yes Betty, it’s important! Now, come on! I’ll get the pizza on the table to cool while you get in the bathtub!”
<*****>
Trixie sat there with the green pepper, mushroom, and onion pizza inside her blue magical grasp on the right side of her body at the table, as she looked at me sitting there across from her, with my damp grayish-white pony mane, attentively and asks, “So uh, how we doing Betty? Is it sinking in yet?”
I snap to attention and widen my eyes, “Uh, is what sinking in?”
She frowns, “That Trixie cares about you…”
I blink, “Um, I think so? I still got some of the shit in my brain and I think I should just eat for now? Uh, “ I look at the plate with two large slices of pizza and a glass of soda to the right with ice in it… I suddenly wonder what that tastes like as I furrow my brow and force the glass to glow purple and lift towards my mouth. Once there, I focus on tilting it back so I can get the liquid down my pony throat and then work on fixing it right side up, so the liquid doesn’t spill. Then, I focus on gently setting the cup down and releasing it just over the table, so it lands the necessary quarter inch or so and causes the liquid to move a bit inside. I look up at the other unicorn, “I think I’m getting the hang of this?”
Trixie smiles back at me, “Good job Betty! Now, eat your pizza! You need to eat now! You haven’t had anything since breakfast!”
I frown at her, before focusing my magic to lift my right slice in its violet glow and say to her, “That’s always been a problem in my life! I don’t eat enough!”
She smiles and nods, “Yeah, and now, you’re going to…”
I lift my left eyebrow, “Oh?”
She giggles, “Yes, you’re gonna eat enough for me, or I’ll tie you down and tickle you! Now, to your pizza slave !”
I can’t help but snicker and shake my head while wondering what this crazy horse’s angle is and then, sigh and lift the pizza to my pony snout and take a bite with my new pony teeth…” As the food is masticated inside my mouth and I taste the flavors, I can’t help but notice that they all seem different somehow? It then occurs to me that these aren’t my original taste buds as I swallow the delicious food and look at the other unicorn and smile, “This is really tasty!”
“Mhm!” Trixie says back at me while smiling… She breathes in and out through her mouth before looking at me carefully, “So, have you given any thought to the things I’ve been saying to you?”
I gulp and frown, “You mean about how you care about me and love me and want to be with me , or whatever?”
Suddenly, a purple alicorn with a colorful highlighted blue mane and tail materializes to my left and Trixie’s right there in the kitchen. She turns her head right to stare at me as she smiles and leans forward with exuberant wide purple eyes and happily exclaims, “Oh my gosh! Betty? Uh,” she blinks as she leans forward excitedly, “Welcome to Equestria!”
I turn my head left towards the alicorn and scream, “Aaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!”
Trixie snickers and shakes her head before staring back at me while continuing to smile, “It’s okay, Betty!” she turns her head right to the alicorn, frowns, and says, “Twilight, you’re supposed to warn me before you do that!”
The alicorn turns her head left to face the blue unicorn and widens her violet eyes, “Yeah, but Betty is here!”
Trixie grimaces and nods, “Yes, and so are you! But guess what? Only one of these two things is supposed to be here !”
Twilight frowns, “I know, but she’s here and she’s not from here and I wanted to make sure we give a good impression of Equestria!”
Trixie narrows her eyes, “Look! My sla er, human/pony hasn’t eaten all day and she needs to chow down now! Can you please just come back tomorrow? Preferably at a certain time , so we know when to expect you ?”
Twilight sighs at the magician, “Well, that seems reasonable Trixie! But can I speak to you in the other room , please?” she glances her purple eyes towards me, before back at the other pony, “I need to talk with you privately …”
Trixie nods her head, “As you wish, Twilight!” she turns her head back right towards me and says, “Betty! Eat your pizza and drink your soda now and be careful! Trixie will be back in a little while!”
<*****>
I lay on my left side under the velvety purple covers of Trixie’s bed as the blue pony holds me from behind as the big spoon and groan as I let out a big belch, “Whoa! Excuse me! Uh, oh damn! I can’t believe I had five slices!”
Trixie giggles lightly from behind me, “I can! You hadn’t eaten all day and then, we smoked, and you got the munchies!”
I snicker myself, “Uh, yeah! So, what’s with Twilight Sparkle? I know she’s the ruler of Equestria now, but what does she want with me?”
“Oh, she knows you’re not even from this planet and she wanted to meet you and to make a good impression ! Honestly, I’m not sure why? I mean, your world is destroyed now and you’re probably the only one left? Or well, you would be if you weren’t a pony now!”
I close my eyes and sigh deeply again, “Yeah, I know… I’m a pony now and my life is weird…”
“Hasn’t your life always been weird though, Betty?”
I nod, “Yeah! Yeah, it has, and just for once, I would like my life to be stable and mundane , you know?”
“Trixie can do that for you! All she asks is your love!” The blue mare states before nuzzling me deeply from behind and I feel the warmth of her breath and her hot snout on the back of my neck… It seems oddly comforting, but for the life of me, I have no idea why…
I stammer out, “I don’t get a choice, do I?”
Trixie holds me tightly in her forehooves, “Not if death is your only alternative, no… I love you…”
I gulp, “I love you too, Trixie… And uh…” I pause for a moment…
“Yes, Betty?”
“Thank you for saving my life, Trixie…” I can’t help but smile slightly as it dawns on me that this wonderful blue mare cares for me… “You’re the best marefriend, ever!”
Trixie lovingly kisses the nape of my neck and says, “It was Trixie’s pleasure! Now rest up, baby! There’s things to do tomorrow!”
<*****>
I open my eyes alone in the bed, but still on my left side with my head on the big soft velvety purple pillow. There’s a smiling blue unicorn on the floor before me and I also notice the steaming white cup of coffee on the table and my 12-inch glass straight bong sitting on the floor to her left, with freshly loaded weed inside.
She smiles at me, “Time to wake up, Betty! Twilight will be around in under two hours, and we need to get you functional again! Time for coffee and wake n bake!”
I groan, “So, that butthole alicorn is coming by, this morning? Uh, shouldn’t we have more warning?” I say before widening my eyes as I realize I just unintentionally rhymed…
Trixie lowers her gaze, “Well, don’t you think the morning makes more sense since that gives her all day to spend with you?”
I narrow my eyes, “Okay, you got me there!”
She smirks and giggles, “Of course! Now get those yummy flanks down here and get high with Trixie! We need you at your best, today!”
(To be continued…)
Author's Note
*There it is again! 4th wall breakage in my stories!
Trixie Lulamoon: Best Waifu Ever!
Chapter 6: Six New Reasons
Twilight stares at me from across the room and says, “Well, I knew you weren’t from here and probably wouldn’t want other ponies to know that…”
I frown as a disturbing thought suddenly occurs to me and tentatively say, “But?”
Twilight sighs, “But I kinda did tell a few friends about you and well…”
I widen my eyes, “There’s gonna be a Pinkie Pie party soon, isn’t there?”
Twilight widens her own eyes as the other bluer unicorn stares on from my right, “W-what? How did you know?”
I smile and lower my gaze, “Because I know you ponies! You’re so predictable!”
Twilight sighs, “Well, okay, Pinkie likes to throw parties and when I told her about you and what happened to you , she insisted on throwing a big party to cheer you up!”
I nod while continuing to maintain my grin, “Right! And let me guess! The Ponyville Pizzeria, right?”
Twilight widens her eyes again and stutters, “N-no!”
I raise my left eyebrow, “So uh, yes?”
Twilight sighs, “Just a moment, please!” before vanishing in a quick flash of purple light!
Trixie turns her head left towards me and says, “Where did she go?”
I snicker with my eyes squinted in joy, “Obviously, to tell Pinkie Pie somewhere other than the Ponyville Pizzeria! I bet she’ll pick the park!” I turn my head slightly towards the other unicorn and fix my face, “What do you think, Triscuit?”
Trixie nods, smiles, and giggles as she leans forward towards me, “Well, either that or the Ponyville Spa?”
“A massage would be nice, now that you mention it!”
Suddenly, the air before both of us flashes plum purple once more and a violet, winged unicorn pony appears there. She looks at us and says, “I’ll have you know that it’s at the Ponyville Park! She was planning a picnic for you to get you more accustomed to the nature and wonderment of living in our fair town!”
Trixie stares at the alicorn and says bluntly, “Betty totally called it!”
I stare onward at the alicorn as she looks at Trixie wide-eyed and says, “What?”
Trixie shakes her head and tries her best to suppress the grin on her face, “Never mind! Uh, “ she leans forward, “what time should Trixie and her new marefriend be there?”
<*****>
We both begin trotting south and turn right to go around the block and make our way to the Ponyville Park just beyond, with Trixie trotting at my right and sporting her blue starry magician’s hat with its distinctive curved point and wide brim. She stares at me from the right as her matching cape waves with each pace, and asks, “How you holding up champ? Doing okay?”
I blink as I make my trot bleary-eyed and say, “Well, I’m sorta getting used to my new life right now, but some moments are trickier than others?”
She leans towards me, “Well, is there anything Trixie can do to help?”
I turn my neck right towards her as we both continue to trot, “Well uh, I’m about to meet some ponies I don’t know, and my anxiety is a little high right now…“I perk up my ears as my eyes widen, “Actually, there is one thing !”
<*****>
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m a good girl and don’t smoke that stuff !” I robotically say as I stare at the pink pony with the purple pointy party hat over her magenta mane with blue polka dots in front of me, as I stood there at the park…
Pinkie Pie frowns, “Uh, what are you talking about, you weirdo? I just asked how you were doing?”
I shake my head and blink my hazel eyes, “Um, right! How I was doing! Yes! Of course! Uh,” I blink again and say instinctively, “I’m just fine! We’re all fine here! Everything is fine! Yes!”
She blinks her blue eyes and leans forward while carefully frowning and squinting at me, “You don’t seem fine ?”
Trixie obviously sensed the tension when she breaks the ice, “Uh, I think Betty here is ready to mingle with the other ponies?”
I turn to Trixie, “I am?”
Pinkie smiles, “Of course! Trot on over, Betty! I’ll find you a seat!”
Trixie turns her head left towards us and says, “What Betty here means to say is , that she’s had a rough time and she really wants to just relax and eat cake and meet some other ponies!” She adjusts her gaze to me carefully… She starts to smile maniacally, “Right?”
I start and reply mechanically, “Yes! Of course!” before saying lowly, “This is gonna suck!"
Pinkie leans towards me with big curious blue eyes, “What was that? I didn’t catch that, Betty?”
I start and stare back at the pink pony, “Oh uh, nothing! Nothing to worry about! Everything is fine !” before giving her the fakest smile in recent Equestrian history.
Pinkie smiles, “Well, come on, you silly filly! You have friends now who really want to meet you!”
I say lowly again, “This is gonna suck!” as she turns her body back towards the red and white checkered cloth laid out on the pasture with five familiar ponies sitting there with a picnic basket and waiting on me…
She begins trotting that way just a mere 15 feet and I follow with my marefriend to my right…
I see a rainbow-maned blue pegasus sitting with a familiar purple alicorn just beyond her on the left and a recognizable pink maned yellow pegasus on the right with a violet maned white unicorn just past her and an orange earth pony sitting on her haunches in the center, wearing a tan cowpony hat, past everypony else.
Applejack looks up at me and says, “Howdy, sugarcube! Lovely weather we’re having today, huh?”
Rainbow Dash turns her neck right towards me and says in her raspy tomboyish voice, “Yeah, doing okay after your planet was destroyed?”
Suddenly, Twilight jabs the blue pegasus with her right forehoof!
“Ow!” Rainbow exclaims before rubbing her tender side with her right forehoof.
I blink, “It still seems so surreal? None of this seems real to me, right now. I feel like I’m in some sort of fantasy world!”
Twilight nods with her head turned my direction, “Makes sense! You were a human earlier, but now, you’re a pony and basically must figure out life all over again !” *
I stare at the purple pony blankly and narrow my mouth hesitantly, “Um, right!”
The yellow pegasus on my right stares up at me with wide blue eyes and says in a low feminine voice, “I feel sorry for you, Betty! Is there anything I can do?”
I eye this sympathetic pony very carefully as I’m not used to anybody er, anypony actually caring about me! “Uh, not right now, maybe later?”
Twilight smiles and nods, “Right Betty! But you need to know that we’re all here for you!” She nods at the pegasus on her right, “This is Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow smiles up at me, “Hiya Betty!”
Twilight nods to the orange pony at the center, “This is Applejack!”
Applejack smiles up at me and nods kindly, “Howdy again, partner!”
Twilight looks at the white unicorn, “And Rarity!”
Rarity looks up at me with her sparkling blue eyes underneath her well-kept purple hair, “Yes darling! I’m here to offer you, my support!” before smiling.
Twilight turns to the yellow pegasus closer to me, “And this is Fluttershy!”
The yellow pegasus shirks slightly and blushes subtly before squeaking out, “Hi Betty!”
Twilight beams brighter before turning her head back all the way right to face me, “Betty, you need to know that you’re a pony now and that we’re all here for you!”
I nod, “Uh, right! Ponies ! Of course!” I say before smiling nervously…
Trixie eyes me again from the right, “Uh, you go sit down between Applejack and Twilight, sweetie! I’ll make you a plate and get you some juice!”
As I begin trotting to make my way to the spot Trixie specified, I can’t help but think that I really wish a third of this mystery juice was vodka, but quickly shake my head as I remind myself that I don’t do that anymore and curve my path around the purple alicorn to move next to Applejack where I plant my body on its haunches very carefully as I’m still not used to the whole, pony quadruped hooves thing…
Applejack turns her head right to face me and removes her Stetson with her forehooves and smiles at me, “You doin alright?”
I turn my head to her while Trixie prepares a bowl of fruit for me with her magic from the basket at the center of everypony, “Um, I think so? You ponies keep asking me that!”
She smiles and nods, “Of course! You just went through something very traumatic , and we need to make sure you’re okay!”
I widen my eyes, “I’m not used to that!”
She corrects her mouth and leans closer my way, “What do you mean? Didn’t you have friends on Earth?”
I frown, “Not a lot, really?” I sigh, “I uh, didn’t think I really belonged…”
Applejack raises her right eyebrow, “What do you mean?”
I gaze at this orange earth pony meticulously, into her wide open sympathetic green eyes… I frown as I know that I must choose my words carefully before saying, “I suppose I should start from the beginning?” I nod, “Since I was born, I’ve had these mental issues , and after everything that happened to me , I have trouble coping at points… Just dealing with reality, you know?” I take a deep breath through my nose, “Later, I learned that I’m transgender too! Yeah, turns out I’m not a boy at all and that’s probably why everything was always so awkward? You ever feel out of place or, like you don’t belong , Applejack?”
She begins to smile slightly, “Well, sure, sugarcube! I’ve been to fancy dress events and ballet recitals where I just don’t belong, so I kinda know what you’re getting at!”
I nod, “Right! Now imagine that feeling all the time !”
Fluttershy frowns at me, “Oh my! That sounds just awful!”
I turn to the yellow pony and nod, “Right! And so, that’s why I tried to kill myself four times!”
At that point, everypony on the cloth stares at me wide eyed and says almost in unison, “YOU WHAT ?”
I smile slightly, “Well, yeah! I mean, I’m gonna die anyway, right? And since I couldn’t be what I was supposed to be , I figured, what’s the point? And so, I decided to end it!” I cough, “Uh, obviously, I wasn’t very successful!”
Twilight gazes over at me, “Well, yes Betty! But what about your life? Don’t you think it matters?”
I adjust my gaze to Twilight, “Why? We’re all going to die, sooner or later! The end result is always the same!”
Twilight nods and says, “But what about the time while we’re here? Don’t you think that’s important?”
I raise my left eyebrow, “What does it matter? We’re still going to die!”
Rarity looks over at me from the other side of Applejack, “I think what she means darling, is that you shouldn’t be so focused on what happens later so much as the here and now …”
I eye the white unicorn, “Why?”
Rainbow chimes in from the other side of Twilight, “Well, thinking that way , made you try to kill yourself and only made you depressed…” she smiles slightly, “You think maybe there’s a better way?”
I turn my gaze to the Rainbow-maned Pegasus, “Well, I suppose it’s better to be happy, than depressed? That is, assuming I still want to be here !”
Rainbow nods, “Hey, I just met you, but I kinda do wanna get to know you later…” she smiles slightly brighter, “Maybe stick around for that, anyway?”
I giggle slightly as the cannabinoids encircle my mind and reply, “So uh, basically, of course, we’re all gonna die! But maybe try living a little first ?”**
Twilight nods at me, “Well, right! That’s one way to put it!” she stares at me sincerely with her large violet eyes, “Don’t you think we’d like to know you?”
I avert my gaze left towards the alicorn, “Uh, right! Friendship ! Of course!” and smile nervously again…
Applejack raises her left eyebrow at me and says, “I can already tell this is gonna be interesting!” while the pink pony giggles hysterically with her right forehoof over her mouth at my far right, beyond Twilight and everypony else just smiles at me…
<*****>
“Ugh! I think I ate too much pie?” I whine as I slowly trudge my way back to Trixie’s cottage while the blue magician looks at me from the right and giggles slightly with a smirk on her proud face…
“Trixie told you to stop at just one slice!”
I widen my eyes at the other unicorn, “Well, the apple horse told me to take another!”
Trixie nods while we both continue to trot, “Yes, and that’s what you get for listening to farm ponies!”
I grimace, “Shut up!”
Trixie snickers again, “Come on, Betty! Let’s get you to bed for a siesta and Trixie will make us a light dinner later! Let’s have a lazy day together, alright?”
“Ugh!” I groan with my new long and extra-slimy pony tongue out of my mouth…
The blue pony giggles at me…
<*****>
I lay underneath the soft purple velvety covers inside Trixie’s enormous bed as the other mare held me from behind with her forehooves…
“I love you!” She whispers into my ear while tenderly caressing my new equine body…
“I love you too, Trixie!” I whisper back before smiling and relaxing while inside her warm embrace…
When suddenly, I feel a hoof slowly begin to touch my rump…
I grimace as I think to myself, Oh goddammit! We’re about to have sex again, aren’t we?
What f ollowed was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before in my life… Sure, we had that quickie earlier, but this was a lot more tender… Sure, I had fucked women when I thought I was male and sure, I had bottomed for men in the past as well, but this was unlike any of that… Here I was, Betty a mare, loving another mare… And we did our love gracefully with caresses and loving licks of passion between the two of us… And this continued for nearly three hours…
(To be continued…)
Author's Note
*Being transgender is a lot like that, actually! Lots of stuff from my old life is different now and I need to explore the world and myself again to figure it out!
**I’ll admit that I was doing some free writing after my “wake n bake” smoke session and there actually were cannabinoids active in my brain when I typed this. Interesting side note: the strain I’m smoking is called Purple Princess… Makes me think I’m smoking Twilight Sparkle weed!
Trixie Lulamoon: Best Waifu Ever!
I’m sipping coffee while relaxing with my back on the purple couch. I suddenly wonder where Trixie got a purple couch, as I set my white coffee mug down on the wooden coffee table before me while held in my azure glow. I sigh and can’t help but think that I finally seem to be getting used to my new life and using my new unicorn magic when suddenly, there’s a knock on the door!
I raise my head with a wide-eyed start as I wonder, Who in Equestria could that be? Before hopping out the couch to my hind hooves, suddenly realizing that I can’t really stand on them, and then, falling back to the floor before my forehooves hit it with a resound clack! I sigh before turning left between the coffee table and couch towards the door and begin trotting that direction…
I hear another knocking and raise my head as I shout towards the red door, “Hang on! I’m almost there!” as I begin to hasten my pace towards the entryway. I stop 2 feet shy of it and look down at the golden doorknob on the right side of the door and scrunch my brows as I begin to concentrate and make it glow blue before turning counterclockwise and opening inward…
I see a rainbow maned blue pegasus outside who widens her magenta eyes and says, “Sup Betty! Trixie was telling me you used to jog, and I was hoping you’d be up for a quick power-trot around town to help you get used to your new pony body!”
I raise my head and turn it slightly to the left as I yell, “Trixie! Rainbow Dash is at the door! Make her go away!”
At this point, the blue pegasus before me begins to grin and giggle and I can only hear distant murmuring in the backroom where my marefriend is asleep… She stares at me and says, “Come on, Betty! It’ll be fun!”
I narrow my eyes, “Okay! Fine! We can go for a quick jog… But I’m finishing my coffee first!”
<*****>
I stand in front of the tan cottage with the rainbow maned pegasus on my left as I stretch and jog in place to limber up my new pony body and she smiles while saying, “I know it’s been awhile, Betty! So, limber up and take your time to get ready and we can go slow, alright?”
As my body is facing the ground with my two forelegs stretched out before me, I reply, “Yeah, that and the fact that I’m a freaking purple pony now, ought to make this interesting!”
Rainbow snickers, “Yeah! You’ve never been jogging with four legs before, have you?”
I raise my body back upright to my hooves and shake my head, “Uh, not really, no!”
Rainbow smiles, “We’ll take it easy, okay?”
I turn my head towards her, “Yeah, sounds like a good plan! I uh, guess we should get started?”
She kicks up her legs and starts to jog in place for a moment before saying, “Come on Betty!” and then, she takes off forward!
I look at her go and say, “Wait for me!” before I begin to briskly trot and gallop to catch up to her…
She slows her gallop as I approach on the dirt path in front of Trixie’s cottage and we both take off at a quick pace towards the rising sun…
Nopony is out this early and the illuminated rustic path between the buildings is flat and level as I put all four of my legs to work propelling my small violet equine body forward and my long silvery-white mane begins to jostle my shoulders and I feel my new ponytail out there, swaying in the breeze as the cool morning air invigorates my body! I can’t help but think that even though I haven’t had wake n bake yet, this day is already starting to feel good!
She looks over at me to her right and asks, “How are you doing, Betty? Adjusting well?”
As I breath heavily from my mouth and try to actuate my muscles into action, I say back to her, “Well, we’re getting there, yeah! I can apparently jog now, anyway!”
She giggles, “Oh, ponies can normally go faster than this, Betty! This is a training jog !”
I pant and breathe hard through my mouth and ask her, “Are we gonna be doing this a lot?”
She smiles in my direction as she briskly trots on my left, “Just every other day until you’re acclimated and fit again! Getting your new body up to snuff is what I’m gonna do for you!”
I slow down as I pant hard, “Gee, thanks Rainbow!”
She slows with me as she says, “No problem! We’ll go slow for a bit now, and we’ll pick it up again heading back towards your house, okay?”
I breathe once more out through my mouth and say, “Uh, yeah! Okay!”
We both slow to a power-trot as she says, “Well, how’s the magic training going? I’m sure Trixie has you doing all kinds of crazy mind-bending illusions and stuff, right?”
I giggle at the pegasus, “Not really? I learned how to eat with it!”
She nods, “Awesome! Progress!”
I smile, “You care about me, huh?”
Her magenta eyes widen, “Of course! You’re my friend !”
I nod, “Right! Friendship ! Yes! Of course!”
She frowns as we continue to jaunt together through a dirt path on the Lower-Eastside of Ponyville through the desolate multi-colored buildings on either side, “Something wrong?”
I breathe out heavily through my mouth and stammer back, “Uh, no! I think I’m okay?” before slowing down significantly to just a slow trot…
She slows with me, “You sure about that, Betty?”
I stop trotting and she reciprocates, “It’s all just so much , you know?”
She turns her body over to frown, “Uh, what do you mean?”
I’m looking down as I say, “Well, this strange new world is all so weird to me!”
She reassures me with a small smirk on her muzzle, below her pinkish eyes, “No worries, Betty! You’ll get used to it!”
I breathe out through my mouth and repeat what they told me when I quit drinking all that time ago, “One day at a time! ”
She smiles, “Right! See? You’re not doing so bad right now! You’re jogging with your new good friend , Rainbow Dash!”
I smile and chortle, “Right! The good friend I barely know! Of course!”
She giggles, “Well, there’s only one way you’re gonna get to know me!”
I look up at her, “By hanging out with you?”
She nods, “Well, right! But the thing is, you need to catch me first!” before she turns her body quickly to jog in place for a moment before taking off at a steady speed!
“Dammit!” I whisper under my breath before taking off myself to attempt to catch up with the multi-colored tail, now flying in the breeze ahead of me, roughly 20 feet!
I begin to close as she turns her head right and yells back, “There it is, Betty! You can get used to your new body, no problem!”
I’m huffing as I stammer back, “Can we slow down please!” She begins to giggle as she slows her pace and I finally start to catch up to her and am now just a mere 10 feet from her while I say back while huffing. “Thanks! You know, I’m not an athlete, like you!”
She smiles again, “That’s okay, Betty! I’m awesome ! We can just settle for okay for right now, and you can get better from there!” before she stops trotting…
I stop and turn my body towards her on the dirt path leading out of town to the west, “Thanks Rainbow! So uh, I guess I’ll be meeting the other five soon as well?”
She nods, “Yup! We all talked to Trixie about you, and we decided to help you!”
I smile and snicker, “Oh, there’s a shocker! The Legendary Guardians of Friendship want to befriend and help a new pony!”
She smiles sublimely, “Well, it’s kinda what we do!”
I nod, “Well, I know that!”
She frowns, “So, what’s the problem?”
I eye this pegasus carefully before finally saying, “I’m not used to that!”
Her mouth straightens, “Well, get used to it, Betty! We’re all here for you!”
I narrow my eyes, “I don’t understand? What do you get out of helping me?”
She smiles back, “How about an awesome new friend named Betty?”
I grimace at her, “What’s so great about me?”
“Well, you’re not a horrible jogger and I like talking to you!”
I widen my eyes while saying mechanically, “Um, right! Of course!”
She giggles, “I’m loyalty, Betty! The whole point is to be there for somepony you care about!”
I look at her and frown as I still don’t quite grasp this concept in my ultra-cynical mind, “Wait! So, you’re never gonna give me up ?”
She frowns, “Uh, no…”
“Never gonna let me down? ”
“Uh, not really…”
“Never gonna run around and desert me? ”
She widens her eyes and exclaims, “Wait, what?”
I smile and snicker while shaking my head, “Uh, never mind!”
She frowns, “OOOOOKAAAAAYYYY! Uh,” she blinks, “ready to go back now, Betty?”
I stop my head at her, smile, and reply, “Sure! I feel like another cup of coffee!”
Rainbow nods, “Yeah, she also mentioned that you were a chronic coffee addict and drank it all day!”
“This is true, and the longer we stand here, the longer I’m not drinking coffee!”
She grins again while snickering, “Come on, junkie! Let’s go get your fix!”
<*****>
I huff as I open the door and trot into the kitchen from the back and make my way to the coffee maker on the other side of the counter while the blue pegasus trots in behind me and says, “No worries, Betty! You can only get better! Canterlot wasn’t built in a day!”
I grumble something incoherent as I mentally encase the coffee pot in a blue glow and levitate it towards the white coffee mug sitting on the round wooden table in the center of the room, on the right side as Rainbow pulls out the chair nearest to the door with her mouth and props her haunches onto the seat.
“Ugh!” I grunt as I’m mentally floating the carafe back to the maker and it dips in altitude a few inches before rising back up and proceeding its journey towards the machine…
Rainbow sees this and says, “I guess magic is also tied to your physical stamina somehow?”
As I set the pot back into the black machine, I say, “Well, it doesn’t help when you’re tired!”
Rainbow smiles at me with her head turned left at the table, “Aw, Betty! It’s good for you! Builds up your strength!”
I widen my hazel eyes and say robotically, “Of course! Yes!”
Suddenly, a different blue pony trots into the kitchen from the other door leading out the side of the kitchen and stops 7 feet shy of the table and widens her eyes while standing there in her fuchsia silk robe with golden floral prints, and says, “Oh! Rainbow Dash! When did you get here?”
Rainbow looks at Trixie on her left and nods, “I was just taking Betty here for a quick jog! She’s not that out of shape, despite everything!”
I raise my snout after swallowing a big gulp of lukewarm black coffee and lower my mug to the table inside the azure glow as I stare up at the pegasus sitting to my left, “Everything ?”
Trixie yawns while magically fetching her own cup from the cabinet over the coffee pot and pours black coffee into it, before setting it down at the table at my right, where she proceeds to daintily shuffle her haunches into the seat, with Rainbow and the backdoor before her and me on the one side of the kitchen that doesn’t have a door.
Rainbow looks up at me and says, “Okay, I gotta go to my Wonderbolts practice! I’ll be back in two days to jog again and then, once your stamina is better, we can add yoga!”
I widen my eyes and smile automatically while saying mechanically, “Of course! Yoga! Yes! Great!”
Rainbow sniggers and nods her head, “Alright, so I’ll be seeing you around, weekend warrior !” before dismounting her chair to the left and turning her body around to begin trotting out the back…
Trixie turns her head left towards me and smiles as the door shuts at Rainbow’s exit, “So, did you have fun, sweetie?”
I let out a long breath from my mouth and stick my tongue out the right side, “Never knew jogging with four legs would be so exhausting!”
She giggles, “Well, hang on baby! Trixie will get you some breakfast!”
I start and say, “Right! Waffles and sausage would be awesome!”
She lowers her smile, “You’re a vegetarian now, remember?”
I frown, “Soy sausage?”
She grins and shakes her head as she says, “Trixie will get the fruit bowl!”
I widen my eyes and my mouth is horizontal as I say mechanically, “YES! Fruit and coffee! Of course!”
She smiles again, “Right!” before raising her gaze to the big blue plastic bowl with apples, pears, bananas, and oranges in it behind me and causing it to glow blue and float over my head and then, slowly lower to the table in front of us… She looks up at me from the bowl, “Adjusting well?”
I look up at her and frown, “You ponies keep asking me that?”
She nods, “Of course! The Great and Powerful Trixie and many other ponies care about you now!”
I breathe in and out through my nose, “I think I get it now…”
She frowns at me, “What do you mean?”
I adjust my gaze to her and correct my mouth, “Rainbow Dash talked to me about loyalty and told me how it’s being there for somepony you care about …”
She nods and fixes her mouth, “Yeah, that’s kinda her thing!”
I breathe in and out through my mouth, “Right! Well, that’s why all of you are here for me , isn’t it? I mean, loyalty is the tie that binds us all together , and without being loyal to those you care about, you wouldn’t be there for them… And that’s a bad system…”
Trixie keeps her eyes wide while staring at me as she says whimsically, “Oh no! She’s been infected with the friendship virus !!!”
(To be continued…)
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Trixie Lulamoon: Best Waifu Ever!
Chapter 1: Irresistible Force versus Immovable Object
I wake up on my pony bed… This is a twin bed with colorful purple and pink blankets and sheets featuring various little horses and I recall hugging my huge Pinkie Pie plushie when I went to sleep, except now I was on my back and not really snuggling anything… I also couldn’t help but notice the thick weight on my chest and so I open my eyes to see a pair of large violet eyes staring back at me, from underneath a pointy purple magician’s hat of sorts, decorated with stars of various colors and sizes… These eyes and hat belonged to the blue pony, who smiles at me from underneath the top assembly as she says in a feminine voice, “Oh goody! You’re awake! My name is Trixie Lulamoon and I’m your waifu now!”
I widen my own hazel eyes and brush my long auburn hair away from my face with my pale-skinned right hand, as I look at this strange pony and say timidly, “Uh, I don’t have a waifu?”
She looks visibly more excited as her body happily jitters and she exclaims slightly louder, “Well, you do now! You have the best waifu around! Me, Trixie!”
My eyes normalize, “But, I don’t want a waifu?”
She giggles as she looks at me coyly with her purple eyes, “Well, nopony asked you, now did they?”
“How did you get in my room?”
She grins and giggles nervously, “Who’s to say? I mean, you got a door! You got windows! There’s a big, grated vent on the ceiling! There’s lots of ways Trixie could enter your room!”
I narrow my eyes, “You sound like you’ve thought this through?”
She stares down into my eyes, “Of course Trixie would try to figure out how to get in here! You’re here!”
I widen my eyes all the way, “M-me?”
She smiles down at me, “Yes! You Betty!”
<*****>
I set her down on the front porch and look down at her from the other side of the door. She turns around and stares up at me with wide-open violet eyes as they quiver, almost in tears and her wavering mouth can only stutter, “B-but! Trixie was gonna be your waifu?”
I quickly slam the door and slowly walk back to my room muttering under my breath about a stupid pony and an annoying blue nuisance and I reach my room and open my white door to see a familiar blue pony sitting on her haunches in my computer chair at my desk on the near wall on the right, across from the door.
She looks at me, smiles, and says, “Do you really think you can keep me out of here?”
I raise my left eyebrow, “Uh, how did you get back in?”
She giggles while grinning at me mischievously from underneath her violet magician’s hat, “Wouldn’t you like to know!”
I narrow my eyes at the blue pony and give a resigned sigh, “Well, okay fine! You can stay… For now…” I clear my throat and add, “I’m gonna go get some coffee from the kitchen… Uh, do you get high?”
<*****>
“Ugh!” I grunted as I licked the side of the brown blunt wrap and closed it yet again to try and bake it with my lighter and hopefully form a proper seal this time.
Trixie sits on my floor with her magician’s hat off on her right along with her cape folded neatly underneath, smiling at me before saying, “Want me to give it a try, baby?”
Baby? I think to myself before looking at the unicorn and saying, “Uh, if you think you can do better?”
“Au contraire! Watch in awe!” Trixie exclaims before looking up at the wrap in my hands and narrowing her eyes. The half-folded blunt wrap filled with weed and the cardboard filter tip on the right side soon glows pale blue and levitates up out of my hands!
“Whoa!” I say as I throw my hands down to the chair seat and the wrap floats over towards Trixie…
Trixie, who promptly licks it with her long pony tongue and furrows her brows as she magically rolls it around in a blue glow to make the wrap close tightly. She looks towards me and forces the red disposable lighter on my table to my right to float towards her while encased in a similar faint azure light. She causes the lighter to ignite underneath the freshly wrapped blunt and makes it go up and down the structure to heat up and seal the moist portions as a small amount of steam visibly rises out of the blunt while little blue magical rings are formed around the blunt to hold it sealed while baking.*
I stare onward at this peculiar pony as the tipped end of the blunt floats into her mouth and the lighter flies to ignite the other end, “Where did you learn to roll like that?”
Trixie exhales smoke from the left side of her mouth before half-smiling and saying, “You learn a lot of things on the road!” before pursing her lips around the stoge for another draw.
I narrow my eyes to the unicorn, “Tell me again why you’re here?”
The blunt soon floats from Trixie’s lips to me as she exhales smoke out the right side of her mouth. She smiles and says, “Because Trixie decided that you need a waifu and Trixie should be it!”
I carefully grab the blunt in mid-air with my left hand before bringing it towards my mouth, and frowning down at the pony and saying, “Wait! I decided ? Need a waifu ? Why do you think that I need a waifu? And why are you watching me?” before pondering momentarily and deciding to bring the blunt to my lips for a drag.**
Trixie smiles sharply and says, “Because you’ve been on your own for a very long time now, Betty… Because while you actually do need companionship, you’re also no doubt aware that because of the way you are coupled with the way your mind Is reforming right now, a relationship with well, anypony wouldn’t exactly be advised…” she raises her gaze to me, “And that’s why you need Trixie!”
I exhale smoke slowly before looking to my little ashtray on the right and switching hands to snuff the blunt out straight down inside and look at Trixie as I exclaim, “Like hell I do, Trixie! I don’t need companionship and I definitely don’t need a waifu! Get the fuck out!”
Trixie continues to smile as she gets up and begins trotting towards the door. She takes a few paces, before turning her body left to face me.
I frown, “Uh, what are you doing, Trixie?”
She smiles as her purple eyes gaze at me determinedly and she scrapes the ground with her right forehoof while lowering her head… She suddenly takes off at a full gallop towards my computer chair on it’s wheels! She quickly launches herself onto my chest and begins kissing me with her horse snout, while the chair is knocked into the back wall where it makes a resounding clack !
My eyes widen as I stare into the half-closed violet eyes of this little blue horse, and I soon feel her long slimy pony tongue entering my mouth.
She disengages her kiss and brings her head back a few inches to smile at me, “Do you believe me, now?”
I looked down at the bold pony wide-eyed with my mouth agape, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
She smiles and giggles, “I love you!”
I grimace and quickly reply, “Idiot!”
“Steel head!” She says before giggling and leaning to my face to nuzzle my nose with her pony snout.
I widen my eyes at the blue, white-maned pony, currently snuggling my chest and face from my lap. I can’t help but notice that she’s not nearly as heavy as you’d think as I look down at her and say, “Wait! How do you know I’m stubborn?”
Trixie giggles and nuzzles more as she smiles happily upward at me, “Anypony who’s known you longer than 15 minutes knows this, Betty!”
I finally look past the blue pony towards the door behind her, give a resigned sigh and finally say, “Alright, Trixie! You win! You can be my waifu or pretend companion or, whatever…” I give a second sigh before widening my eyes and saying, “I’ll write a bit in my stories before heading out for lunch later…” I look down at her, “But since my coffee is cool now, I’m popping my hormones before finishing up this blunt!” I nod, “It’s better to be ready!” I narrow my eyes at the blue pony, “You wanna finish it with me?”
<*****>
I remember that I packed the blunt tightly with my good herb as I stare off blankly back towards my door and the weed I just smoked begins to work it’s way through my blood to my brain. The remains of the blunt now sit smoldering in the ashtray, although I decided the roach is smokable later and mentally make a note to save it as I stare onward at this tenacious magician horse.
The little blue pony to the right of the door looks at me and asks, “So uh, do you believe me now?”
I look down at Trixie, “But why?”
“I uh,” Trixie shakes her head and adjusts her eyes to me, “Didn’t I say you’ve been alone for far too long?” She glances off to the right side wistfully, “Thought I covered that already?”
I widen my eyes, “What does THAT have to do with ANYTHING?”
She frowns and looks at me, “You need companionship, Betty!”
“Why?” I exclaim loudly, “I’ve done great, so far?”
She widens her eyes, “Really? Because what I saw was a nihilistic misanthropic wreck of a trans-woman who hated life and the world!”
I scowl at the blue pony, “How were you watching me, anyway?”
Trixie smiles, “Now, a good magician never reveals her secrets!”
I glower at this obstinate blue pony and give another reserved sigh. “Well, how you were watching me is beside the point!” I narrow my eyes to her, “Why you, though?”
“Huh?” The blue pony asks with wide purple eyes.
I shake my head as the herb begins to take a greater foothold in my mind, “Why you, Trixie Lulamoon? I mean, okay, let's just say that hypothetically and for the sake of argument that I do need a waifu or make-believe wife or whatever, right? Why YOU?”
Trixie raises her gaze and smiles, “Because I’m great and powerful and I’m arrogant enough to put up with you and I’ll do most of the things you like to do!”
“Yeah, but aren’t you already with Starlight Glimmer?”
Trixie smiles wider, “Well, maybe in Equestria, but we’re not in Equestria now, aren’t we?”
I frown, “I don’t think she’ll like you being with me?”
Trixie finally breaks her stare and smiles while giggling, “Open relationship Betty! We already talked about you!”
My eyes widen and mouth narrows, “Talked about me? What did you say?”
Trixie rolls her eyes, “Oh, just that there’s a cute trans-woman who needs a waifu and that I’m perfect for her!”
“C-cute?” My eyes normalize, “You’re insane!”
She chuckles more, “And you’re stubborn! Besides, me being crazy is all the more reason I should be your waifu!” before nodding.
I narrow my eyes again, “Tell me again why I don’t just throw you out?”
She lowers her gaze and sighs, “Because you know Trixie will be back within two minutes!”
I widen my eyes, “Okay um, you got me there!”
Trixie looks up at me and smiles proudly, “Of course!”
I eye this azure horse carefully as she sits on her haunches on my floor and stares up at me while grinning broadly. “I don’t get a choice, do I?”
Trixie lets out an exasperated sigh, “NOW she gets it!”
I lower my view at the pony before finally saying, “Alright! I’m stoned and I’m sure you’re feeling it as well Trixie… Ready for a little test?”
Trixie raises her eyebrows, “Oh? Do go on, my new waifu-haver!”
I start and shake my head before quickly deciding better of it, “Now, since you know me so well , you’re undoubtedly aware that I love stoned snuggles, yes? Do you see where I’m going here?”
Trixie normalizes her eyes again and triumphantly declares, “Very well, human! You can get into bed and hold me! Once you see how much comfort I can give you, you’ll just accept me as yours and we can get on with it!”
I raise my left eyebrow, “You seem pretty confident?”
She leans forward slightly with wide purple eyes, “Because you NEED me!”
I widen my own eyes, “NO I DON’T!”
She smiles wider, “I was actually hoping it might come to this…” she mimics her best friend as she lowers her gaze adamantly, “IT IS ON!”
I start, “Oh, bring it on, Little Miss Raggedy Magician Horse! I can cuddle you all day without breaking a sweat!”
She tilts her head to the left, “So, why don’t you get into bed, I’ll scoot in front of you, you can hold me, and we’ll just see how you feel then…”
I gaze at this insane pony when it suddenly occurs to my cannabis-infused mind that I had just opened Pandora’s Box … I can only then, calmly get up from my chair, turn right, walk a few feet back to my bed, past my table on the right, and get in, underneath the covers. I scoot my big Pinkie Pie further from me, towards the edge so Trixie will have enough room to slide in.
She calmly sighs as she trots to my bed, just a few feet to her left and slides onto it with her hooves, before raising her body all the way to stand all of two-feet tall on top of the blanket and trotting towards me on the bed to get underneath as I move my hands away. She then lays with her head on the pillow, on her left side, with her back to me as she says, “Alright now, human! Hold me!”
I cautiously wrap my arms around her and hold her soft warm fuzzy body.
She sighs, “Closer than that, dork! I wanna feel your body heat just like I’m sure you wanna feel mine!”
“I do?” I timidly say as I nervously bring my arms and the blue pony closer towards me and suddenly feel the warmth of her soft pony body against my big Rainbow Dash night shirt.
She giggles and replies, “Well, it’s a start! Now, just a little bit closer, human!”
I bring her cozy body close to my chest and suddenly blurt out the word, “Bestiality!” as I smile and giggle softly to myself… *
“Shush!” The blue magician hushes me…
I then whisper softly as I feel her body against mine, “Bestiality…”
“Knock it off already, and snuggle me, jerk!”
I hold this obstinate little blue magical pony closely to my body… I feel her warmth against me and it occurs to me suddenly that I haven’t had that, outside of my cat, in a very long time… She gives me comfort and warmth and makes me feel loved and I can’t help but wonder if that was my real problem with the world all along? I think maybe I just don’t feel loved. I do not have the answer at this time…
(To be continued…)
Author's Note
*When using a lighter to seal the blunt, I find that since heated air expands, this can cause the front of your blunt to open. To prevent this, I typically hold my forefinger and thumb down the wrap near the front to hold it shut while baking that portion. Of course, when you do that, you gotta be careful not to burn yourself with the flame of the lighter! I think unicorn magic would be ideal for this since the fire won’t bother any sort of magical rings holding the blunt tight…
**Fun fact: I’m ambidextrous!
***Anypony who’s read any of my other work should be aware that I have a weird sense of humor…
