Happy Horny Holidays

He definitely should have brought a gift.

Sure, Pinkie had said not to, but you were still supposed to bring a gift when you went to a Hearth's Warming Eve party, right? Even if that wasn't the case, it would have been prudent to have a gift prepared. Just in case of an emergency. After all, one could never plan too far ahead!

Dusk Shine told that to himself again and again as he walked through the snow to Pinkie's place. Pinkie had invited the other elements of harmony to Sugar Cube Corner while the Cakes were visiting family for the holidays. He was holding a "super-dee-duper special" Hearth's Warming Eve party, and they wouldn't be the only six ponies there.

He'd explained that this year there'd be plenty of guests the rest of them had never met. To make sure that nocreature had to get gifts for anycreature they didn't know, Pinkie would handle the presents for everycreature this year.

Coming up to his destination, Dusk could hear that the party was already underway. The sound of laughter and chatter and holiday music spilled out into the street. Snow covered the eaves of windows where the early arrivals were silhouetted by the hearth's orange glow. He could even smell the party, the scent of nutmeg and gingerbread and peppermint distinct even on the chill winter air.

Dusk knocked the snow from his boots and brought a hand up to knock on the door. Barely an instant after his knuckles grazed the wood, he heard Pinkie barreling to the entryway.

*SLAM!*

"Happy Hearth's Warming Eve, Dusky! Oop--look! Mistletoe!"

Pinkie pulled him inside, past the threshold where a sprig of mistletoe hung. Dusk barely had time to adjust his eyes to the light inside before his host planted a kiss smack-dab on his lips.

"Pah! Pinkie!"

Dusk extricated himself from Pinkie's hold, blushing like a tomato. He knew that it was just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. It occurred to him that since he'd certainly been the one to hang the mistletoe in the first place, he'd probably given a similar welcome to every one of the guests so far. Looking around, Dusk recognized that most of his friends were already there, but also saw plenty of new faces.

Elusive was by the punch bowl, looking suave as ever. Wearing a dress shirt with a bowtie and suspenders, what would have looked pretentious on any other stallion looked completely natural on him. He was talking to a mare Dusk had never met before, wearing a cream-colored gown that, likewise, would have looked overly formal on any other mare. She was so beautiful that the elegant clothes looked perfect on her. She was chocolate-colored with a beige mane, tousled to perfection and barely hiding a pair of sultry, smoky eyes.

Another new face was an earth pony Pinkie had dug up somewhere. He had a tan coat and a black mane. His body was toned and lean like Rainbow Blitz. Something about the way he carried himself gave an impression of the same sort of small-town folksiness that the ponies in Appleloosa had.

Butterscotch stood in the corner, his gangly body draped in oversized formless clothing as ever, his long pink hair hiding his eyes. Towering over him, however, was an incredibly tall earth pony. While Rainbow Blitz was fit in a compact, athletic sort of way, and Applejack was muscular from a lifetime of manual labor, this guy was shredded. His broad shoulders seemed to be barely contained by his shirt, and his arms rippled with muscle.

Dusk Shine's initial impression was that the large stallion was crowding Butterscotch, trapping him in a corner. But then a burst of laughter bubbled from Butterscotch right before he pointed up at another sprig of mistletoe. He swept a cursory look around the room, and then to Dusk's surprise Butterscotch kissed the giant stallion on the cheek before scooting over to the purple pony.

"Dusk Shine!" Butterscotch gave him a quick hug before he started to babble, the words pouring from his mouth like a deluge. "Have you seen the other guests Pinkie invited? They're all so...so interesting! Especially Stocking Stuffer."

He spared a glance over his shoulder and waved at the bulky guy before continuing, "We've been talking since I got here. He's really nice, and strong, and he works with animals. And--"

"Gee, Butterscotch," Dusk interrupted, "It sounds like Pinkie invited the perfect stallion for you."

Butterscotch suddenly clammed up. He swept some of the hair from his eyes and blushed before continuing.

"Yeah, I guess so. I haven't even talked to Pinkie's other guests yet, but maybe he invited somecreature you'll find just as...perfect."

Butterscotch gave a big smile before turning on his heels and practically skipping back to Stocking Stuffer. Dusk was more than a little surprised at how excited Butterscotch was. The shy pegasus usually could barely stand to talk to strangers, let alone gush about how wonderful they were like he was doing now. Heck, he had even kissed him on the cheek! Dusk couldn't remember seeing Butterscotch show PDA with anypony in all the years they'd known each other!

Dusk milled around the party for a while, hearing Pinkie open the door again and squeal out, "Hey, Applejack! Glad you could make it -- Hey look! Is that Mistletoe?"

*Smooch!*

Applejack's ensuing outburst of profanity was drowned out by the laughter of other nearby guests. Meanwhile, Elusive walked over to Dusk and introduced the mare he had been chatting with.

"Darling, you absolutely must meet this pony. I have the pleasure of acquainting you with Hot Cocoa. Cocoa's come here all the way from Prance, dear."

"Pleased to meet you!" Dusk shook the Prench mare's elegant hand, asking, "What line of work are you in?"

"I'm a model for a few prominent fashion designers," she answered. Dusk tried not to ogle, but he admitted to himself that Hot Cocoa definitely had the body for it. He supposed that both of them being in the fashion industry, she and Elusive would have a lot to talk about.

As their conversation shifted to matters of couture, Dusk excused himself. He had only just stepped away, however, before Pinkie accosted him.

"Hey, Duskie! Enjoying the party!" Pinkie practically shoved Dusk, negotiating him into standing in a specific spot before crying out again, "Ooh, look -- More mistletoe!"

Dusk looked up and, sure enough, even more mistletoe was tied to the roof overhead. Rather than smooch him again, Pinkie bounced over to another guest.

"Hey, Toasty Warm! Think fast!"

The mare had barely turned around when Pinkie escorted her over to Dusk, placing her under the mistletoe with him. Dusk was surprised to see the mare was a kirin. He had never seen one before, but this one had a green and red coat. She was a little shorter than he was, dressed in a thick sweater and glasses. As she stumbled to a halt, she tried desperately to not spill the mug of eggnog she had been drinking before Pinkie accosted her.

Pointing at the mistletoe, Pinkie exclaimed, "Oh, would you look at that! Now you two have to kiss!"

Dusk and Toasty both stammered out a protest, but Pinkie's stare brooked no argument. Dusk looked at Toasty and gulped nervously, unsure how to approach. Thankfully, she turned her face to present a cheek, allowing Dusk to get away with a chaste little peck.

It wasn't too bad, Dusk admitted. Toasty Warm was pretty cute -- not that he spent too much time thinking about that sort of thing! But Dusk could tell just from her vibe that she was a fellow bookworm. And her cheek was very soft. And she smelled like nutmeg and cinnamon...

"What!!"

Dusk snapped out of it, taking his lips off Toasty's cheek and looking at Pinkie. The pink stallion stared at the two of them, thoroughly unimpressed.

"That's not how you kiss somepony! Here, let me show you how it's done -- Hey, Yule Log!"

Dusk and the Toasty politely averted their eyes as Pinkie flung himself lips-first at the tan-colored earth pony he had spotted earlier.

"Sorry about that," Dusk apologized as the guests around Yule Log dove out of the way as Pinkie pounced and drove his tongue down the tan stallion's throat. "Pinkie can be kind of...enthusiastic."

"I guess so," she agreed, "I don't know Pinkie too well, but he's certainly one of my weirder friends."

"How do you know Pinkie?" Dusk wondered, "I've never heard him mention being friends with a kirin. Come to think of it, I have no idea how he knows anycreature here other than the Elements of Harmony."

"We only met a little while ago," she explained. "Last month, Pinkie just showed up in our village and started talking to me. He said he was on a 'secret holiday friendship mission'. I thought it was a little odd, but I didn't really have any plans, and when he invited me to his holiday party I just kind of went along with it."

She continued, "What's really weird is I asked Snowfall, and he had pretty much the same story."

"Who's Snowfall?"

Toasty pointed at another guest, and Dusk followed her gaze to a white dragon with ice-blue spines. While Pinkie unsubtly nudged the dragon towards Blitz and yet another sprig of mistletoe, Toasty went on.

"He told me that Pinkie just showed up in the Dragonlands, brute-forced his way into being his friend, and then invited him to his holiday party. From what I can tell, the only out-of-town guest that Pinkie's known for more than a month is that reindeer over by the snack table."

Sure enough, a pink reindeer doe in a yellow dress was snacking on a gingerbread cookie. Dusk remembered something from a previous Hearth's Warming Eve when Pinkie had told him about a quest where he had met a trio of magical holiday reindeer.

"Wow," he breathed, "Pinkie sure does seem to get around."

"Tell me about it," Toasty replied. "I've never even left the Peaks of Peril before. Heck, I barely spend any time away from the library."

"The library?" Dusk's ears perked up.

"Yeah, I'm the librarian in the Kirin Village! I should have mentioned it. Do, uh, do you like books?"

Dusk almost face-hooved at that question. It was an understatement to say that he "liked" books. Pinkie was obviously trying to pull something with these guests he'd invited, but what was the endgame?

Before he could give it much thought, the reindeer caught Dusk's eye and smiled. She finished off her gingerbread cookie before coming over. Her bouncy gait made the jingle bells hanging from her earrings chime, not to mention making her ample breasts jiggle under her top. Dusk would have usually never even made not of such a thing; he was a scholar, not some kind of...ogler! But something about the party -- probably the abundance of mistletoe and Pinkie's avid enforcement of kissing under it -- had him in a tizzy.

"Oh, I just love the holidays, don't you? You must be Dusk Shine," the reindeer said. "Pinkie's told me all about you. I'm Bori!"

Dusk made to shake her hand, but she disregarded it entirely, wrapping him in a big hug. He tried not to think about how firmly her bosom was rubbing against his chest, tried to ignore the embarrassed look on Toasty warm's face as she watched Bori press her body against his.

But then Bori chirped out, "Well, isn't that a coincidence -- we're all under the mistletoe!"

Sure enough, Toasty and Dusk hadn't moved from the spot Pinkie had forced them to pair up. Dusk thought that for once he might be spared since Pinkie seemed to be busy edging Applejack and Yule Log toward each other, no doubt with the intent to make them kiss.

Unlike Toasty, however, Bori needed no prodding to kiss Dusk. She didn't go for the cheek either, wrapping her lips around his. Dusk thought to preserve some trace of modesty by keeping his mouth closed, but that hope was dashed when the reindeer reached a hand down and goosed his rear, his mouth opening in a reflexive gasp.

I can see why Pinkie likes her, Dusk thought to himself as their lips parted with a wet smack.

He stood dazed as Bori eventually let go of him. Toasty looked just as surprised, her mouth half-open in shock. Unfortunately, this proved the perfect target for Bori to give Toasty a turn getting kissed by the stacked reindeer under the mistletoe. By the time she was done with her, Toasty's glasses were so fogged up she couldn't see through them.

"Jinkies," Toasty stated, "I've never kissed a reindeer before." After wiping her glasses clear, she added, "Actually, I've never even seen a reindeer before."

"They only live up north of Yakyakistan," Dusk explained, falling into his habit of rattling off facts. "They have powerful divination magic, but there aren't a lot of books about it. At least, not in the Canterlot Royal Library." He felt a hint of satisfaction when Toasty's eyes lit up at the mention of the Royal Library.

"That's right," Bori confirmed. "In particular, our magic is all about gifts! Aurora knows about all the gifts that have happened, Alice knows about all the gifts that are going to happen, and I --" Bori winked at Dusk, "--just stay in the moment and keep the two of them in line."

"So, the three of you are omniscient, but only in regard to presents?" Toasty looked incredulous. She could scarcely believe that a power of such magnitude would have such a narrow application.

Dusk, on the other hand, pieced something together. The reindeer's magic talents would make them perfect at finding Hearth's Warming Eve gifts. No doubt Pinkie had consulted with Bori in advance, which explained why he had told Dusk and the others that he'd handle all the presents this year. What he still didn't get was how it explained the eclectic collection of newcomers Pinkie had invited. Maybe Bori had told Pinkie what their perfect gifts were too, and he tracked them down to invite them to the party. That seemed like the sort of thing Pinkie Pie would do.

Dusk asked, "But, why--"

Before he could finish, Bori put a finger to his lips to silence him. "You'll see," she explained, giving him an enigmatic smile.

As if on cue, Pinkie roared over the din of the party.

"EVERYCREATURE, COME OVER TO THE TREE! TIME FOR PRESENTS!"