I’ll Be Your Mommy. (She has no idea).

“See something you like?” Stellar asked as she cocked a hip, placing her hand on it.

“Uh…y-y-your uh…” Sunburst stammered, his brain trying to get the words out through its sudden shock. “Your ribbon! Ahem, sorry. I couldn’t help but notice your ribbon, how different it is from everypony else’s” he finally managed to say as he put his sunglasses back down. I’m gonna kill Starlight when I get back.

“Glad to hear it. I chose to wear it this way specifically to get noticed. A gift bow is fitting for a gift to this town, and any stallions that catch my interest” she added with a wink.

Well if I needed any more confirmation of where, or rather when I am Sunburst thought, too caught up in his temporal situation to register the wink. “Huh. Very creative of you” he said, somewhat on autopilot. This is bad. This is very very bad. I need to be extra careful. Even the tiniest change could alter the future in massive ways!

“Thanks. So what’s your name, stranger? I know you’re not from here. I’d remember” she said implicitly.

“Sun-

No! Don’t tell her your name! You have no idea how that could affect things! But I already said Sun, I gotta add something! Nopony would have so short and simple a name. Light! Spot! No, that’s dad’s name. Ray! It doesn’t have to be sun related, dummy. Just pick anything!

“Mage. Sun Mage.”

“Ooh, very official sounding name” Stellar replied in wonder. “Mage like a sorcerer?”

“Yup. I come from a family of unicorns pretty well versed in magic.” Sunburst was very relieved this situation actually merited some lying to avoid dangerous consequences. One of the few times he could actually lie to his mother with good reason. “In fact I’m actually a sort of magic consultant for some important ponies, whose identities I’m not at liberty to divulge.”

“Oh. Well then I’m very pleased to meet you, Sun Mage” she said as she offered her hand. “I’m Stellar Flare, but you can just call me Stellar.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Stellar” Sunburst replied as he shook her hand.

“So, what brings such an important pony like yourself to Sire’s Hollow? And what’s got you walking into our signs?” Stellar asked with a chuckle.

This was a tough one. He couldn’t exactly say he was going to his old house for her help. He could say he was going to somepony else’s, but even before she had become head of the Development Committee his mother made it her business to know just about everypony in town. And anyone important they knew. Not likely she’d miss someone who knew a magic consultant for someone important. Damn my instinct to try and impress her with an achievement to get her off my back. Wait, I got it!

“Well, I intended to visit a friend for some help, but wouldn’t you know it? I took the wrong train and ended up in the wrong town. I can be a little inattentive at times” he chuckled at his fabricated trait. “Speaking of, in noticing the…interesting fashion trend of this town, I let myself look for a bit too long and walked right into that sign.”

“Wow. Sounds like you’ve had a bit of an unfortunate morning. Tends to happen when your hungover after a night of fun, am I right?” she asked with a smirk.

“I…how did you-?”

“Really? The wrinkled clothes, the bed head, the sunglasses on such a nice day, the smell of fresh coffee with a hint alcohol on your breath, your head hurting so much after a minor bump. And you don’t strike me as someone who likes bead braids” she replied, pointing at her own mane to mirror where said braid was on his.

“Heh. Not exactly hiding it, am I?” Sunburst asked bashfully.

“Honey, you might as well be carrying an almost empty bottle. I take it you were visiting your friend to get cleaned up so your wife or marefriend won’t see you like this when you get home?”

“Close. My place is being fumigated, and the place where I’m staying is close to my place of work.” Technically true.

“And you didn’t want any coworkers or your boss seeing you. Makes sense.”

“Well, now that I’ve realized my mistake and made a fool of myself in public, I should probably go to the train station so I can go back to where I came” Sunburst said hastily as he began to walk away. Assuming Starlight has woken up and can remember or realize what she did and fix it. And if not, she can tell Twilight and she can fix it. Wait, do I even need to be in the same place?

“Wait, don’t go!” Stellar said urgently, stretching out a hand and almost getting in his way. “Don’t go yet, I mean. We don’t get too many visitors and ponies don’t typically leave here too often except for trips, so the trains aren’t as frequent for us. You’ll be waiting for at least a few hours.”

“Oh” Sunburst replied, recalling that it did in fact used to be that way before his present. “Well, I don’t mind waiting at the station for a bit.”

“But the station probably will when you’re like this” Stellar quickly replied, gesturing to all of him. “You wouldn’t be their first, and they’re not too welcoming to any more.”

“I suppose that is a problem.”

“So let me help you get cleaned up, and you’ll be sober and presentable just in time for the next train.”

“Oh I couldn’t possibly ask you to do that.” And risk messing up the timeline, if I haven’t already. I really wish I was better at teleporting myself and didn’t have this damn headache.

“Then it’s a good thing I’m offering” Stellar said as she closed the distance between them and hooked an arm around one of his. “I’ve had to deal with this sort of thing before, you’ll be in good hands. I won’t take no for an answer.”

He knew from too much experience that she meant it. “Well…who am I to refuse such a kind offer?”

“Excellent!” she beamed. “First we’ll help get rid of that pesky headache, then we’ll get you all cleaned up.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Hm. Yeah. It does. I like the sound of that” she replied as she started guiding him into the town.

She says that like she’s never-. Oh no. Did I just…? Oh I hope this is one of those cases where this was always meant to happen.

Stellar lead “Sun Mage” to the local bar, which he recalled seeing a bit older in his younger years, before it was turned into a wine tasting spot. “Isn’t this the last place I should be going to to get myself in order?”

“It would be if the bartender didn’t know how to make the best hangover cure in town. Trust me” she said as she brought him into the establishment. “Yoo hoo, Sal” she called to the bartender wiping the bar down with a rag. “Got a stallion in need of your trademark Sober Up Serum.”

“Sure thing, Stellar” Sal replied as he started preparing what looked like a Bloody Mary with some extra ingredients.

Sunburst was surprised at the striking resemblance Sal had to Mary, the young mare that in his time ran the establishment as a wine spot. The only reason he knew her was because his mom had tried to set him up with her. He read Sal’s name tag as he and Stellar sat down, which read “Sal (Salt Lemon).” He recalled Mary’s full name was Cherry Maraschino and figured she must be his daughter.

“Here you go, sir” Sal said as he slid the glass to Sunburst.

“Thanks. How much will it be?”

“I don’t charge for that drink until the customer sees for themselves that it works.” Sal waited for Sunburst to take a sip.

“Whoa!” Sunburst exclaimed after taking a sip.

“Hits ya, doesn’t it?” Sal asked jokingly.

“Yeah. Wow, I can already feel it working!” Sunburst said before drinking some more.

“See? I told you it was the best” Stellar said with a smirk.

“You were definitely right.”

“So what’s your story, stranger?” Sal asked. “Don’t remember seeing you around town.”

“This is my new friend, Sun Mage” Stellar was quick to answer. “He’s a magic consultant for some very important ponies. So important he can’t even say” she explained in a slightly hushed tone.

Talking me up to her friends. Some things never change Sunburst thought with an eye roll.

“Really, now? What brings a pony like yourself to our simple little town?”

Sunburst waited a moment, thinking his mother would provide the explanation, but she stayed silent. He shifted his eyes to her and saw her smiling mischievously at him. Oh, she’s gonna let me give that explanation. He proceeded to explain his night of unintended overindulgence, and the resulting circumstances that lead him to Sire’s Hollow. Excluding the time travel, of course.

“Well, you’ve certainly been having a go of it. Though not the worst or craziest I’ve ever heard.”

If only you knew how much crazier it actually is.

“Luckily I ran into Sun Mage when he had himself a little accident with a sign, and graciously offered my help” Stellar continued, to Sunburst’s further embarrassment. “Naturally I brought him here first for your special concoction. Then we’re gonna get him cleaned up so he can be presentable for his wife or marefriend.”

“Friends and coworkers” Sunburst clarified. “Those I actually have.”

“Really?!” Stellar beamed in both surprise and excitement, sitting up straighter.

He’s done it now Sal thought with a smile and a gentle shake of his head.

“A stallion like you doesn’t at least have a marefriend?!”

“Not for lack of trying. I’ve only recently gotten more social than I used to be. Had a few short time pairings here and there.”

“Well then, you’re gonna be cleaned up so well you’ll at least look like you’re presentable for a marefriend.”

“Speaking of, where are we gonna get that done? A motel?” There was only ever one in town, and he hoped it wasn’t too bad compared to how cleaned up it was in the future.

“Nonsense! I’ll be taking you to my place. I have excellent shampoo and body wash.”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly intrude…”

“What did I say earlier, Sun Mage?” she asked in a sing song voice.

“*sigh* You won’t take no for an answer.”

“Correctamundo, lucky dog” Sal remarked with a smirk as he took the now empty glass.

“Thanks again for the drink. I’m feeling much better. How much do I owe you for it?” Sunburst asked, digging into his pocket, interpreting Sal’s remark as being about Stellar’s kindness.

“Ten bits.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ve got you covered” Stellar said, quickly putting ten bits on the bar, as if she had them prepared. “My treat.”

“Wow. Thanks, Stellar!” Sunburst said, truly grateful as he didn’t feel too many bits in his pocket. “I can’t thank you enough for how much generosity and hospitality you’re showing me. Especially since we just met.”

“We’re very hospitable here in Sire’s Hollow. And it’s the least I can do for a new friend. Especially one as cute as you” Stellar remarked as she slid a hand along his leg.

Sunburst froze at her tone and gesture. His eyes shifted to look at her, seeing an expression she had flashed many times to many stallions after his father was no longer in the picture. She was also leaning forward in a way that made her breasts jut out.

Thanks to such a clear sign, and Sal’s concoction clearing his head, he once again had a realization after reviewing his mother’s behavior since she approached him. A mortifying, heart racing, much more worrying realization than the one concerning his transportation to the past.

SHE’S MAKING A PASS AT ME!!!

“Oh! I uh…hehe…w-w-well…m-m-m-my mom always said I was a cute colt” Sunburst stammered. Mares don’t like it when you bring up your mom when they’re flirting with you, right?! Starlight doesn’t! Though that’s probably because it makes her think about her dad.

“Oh, a momma’s boy, huh?” Stellar remarked, interpreting his jitteriness as nervous excitement. She leaned forward a bit more and uttered in a hushed tone. “I’ll be your mommy.”

Starlight was lucky she wasn’t in this time also, or Sunburst would be telepathically sending what was currently in his brain to her undoubtedly hungover one out of revenge.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!